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Contents
How do you write a movement description?
- Use background action to add tone and mood.
- Add movement to dialogue to keep the story moving.
- Use mid-dialogue actions for tense interruption.
- Reveal character relationships through movement and action.
- Add dramatic emphasis to characters’ emotions in a scene.
How do you indicate an action in writing?
- Understand strong action and pace.
- Favour active voice.
- Describe deeds, movements and gestures.
- Focus on characters’ goals.
- Keep setting and description relevant to your action story.
- Use shorter sentences to increase pace.
- Set off chains of cause and effect.
- Cut filter words.
What is a movement in a story?
Vertical movement is what gives a narrative depth, texture, tension, and resonance. It interrupts the forward, chronological pace of a story or essay (action–what happened) and replaces simple linear movement with spatial complexity (thought—the why of the story).
How do you show speed in writing?
- Utilize breathers. …
- Change the order of events. …
- Vary your sentence length. …
- Keep characters physically moving during dialogue. …
- Reveal information selectively. …
- Vary your narration. …
- Read the work out loud.
How do you write dialogue?
- Use Quotation Marks to Indicate Spoken Word. …
- Dialogue Tags Stay Outside the Quotation Marks. …
- Use a Separate Sentence for Actions That Happen Before or After the Dialogue. …
- Use Single Quotes When Quoting Something Within the Dialogue. …
- Use a New Paragraph to Indicate a New Speaker.
How do you stop over describe?
Give readers leeway to envision the scene. Your description needs to be open-ended enough to evoke images in the reader’s mind. Description must have purpose or leave it out. It should move the story forward or slow down the pacing, reveal character and heighten emotions and senses.
How do you show action in dialogue?
How do you write action in the middle of dialogue? You write action during dialogue by writing your action line then writing the character name and dialogue and continuing with the action in the previous line.
How do you describe a character’s actions?
- Keep it simple. …
- Every action has a purpose. …
- To create suspense. …
- To emphasize a point made in dialogue. …
- To add tension between a character’s words and emotions. …
- Picture the scene as a movie in your mind. …
- Character actions made simple. …
- Conclusion.
How do you quote actions in text?
Quoting a portion of dialogue: If you quote something a character says, use double quotation marks on the outside ends of the quotation to indicate that you are quoting a portion of the text. Use single quotation marks inside the double quotation marks to indicate that someone is speaking. “‘Thou art not my child!
How do you write an action in the middle of dialogue?
To show an interruption of the spoken words, include an em dash inside the quotation marks, at the point where the dialogue is interrupted.
How do you describe the pace of a story?
The pace is determined by the length of the scenes, how fast the action moves, and how quickly the reader is provided with information. It is also sometimes dictated by the genre of the story: comedies move faster than dramas; action adventures move faster than suspense.
How do you write a fast paced action?
- Limit extraneous information. …
- Pull your camera in close. …
- Keep sentences short and clean. …
- Be sharp, short, hard-edged. …
- Examples of action scenes that play well quickly: …
- Offer setting details. …
- Move the camera out. …
- Give yourself a bit more room on sentence length.
How do you describe pacing in a story?
Pacing in fiction refers to the speed at which a story unfolds – its rhythm and flow, the rise and fall of its plot points and events. Basically, it’s how quickly or slowly you’re telling the story to readers. Well-considered, controlled pacing is important, because without it, a story will feel uneven and disjointed.
How do you start a movement?
- Step 1: Choose your cause. …
- Step 2: Read up. …
- Step 3: Find out who’s with you. …
- Step 4: Spread the word. …
- Step 5: Be creative. …
- Step 6: Set some principles. …
- Step 7: Mobilise the grassroots. …
- Step 8: Get some momentum.
What does it mean to create a movement?
Every artist, writer, and entrepreneur dreams of changing the world. The best way to do this is to start a movement. What exactly is a movement you say? A movement happens when people gather around a single idea or cause and do something about it. You might have heard this referred to as a tribe.
How do you describe fast movement?
Some common synonyms of speedy are expeditious, fast, fleet, hasty, quick, rapid, and swift. While all these words mean “moving, proceeding, or acting with celerity,” speedy implies quickness of successful accomplishment and may also suggest unusual velocity.
How do you describe speed in a story?
- fast. adjective. able to move quickly.
- quick. adjective. able to move fast or do something fast.
- swift. adjective. moving quickly.
- speedy. adjective. happening very quickly.
- nimble. adjective. able to move quickly and easily.
- brisk. adjective. moving or acting quickly.
- high-speed. adjective. …
- agile. adjective.
Most Common Writing Mistakes, Pt. 30: Describing Character Movements – Helping Writers Become Authors
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- Summary of article content: Articles about Most Common Writing Mistakes, Pt. 30: Describing Character Movements – Helping Writers Become Authors Character movement, like anything aspect of fiction, should only be there if it progresses the story. That sa, it *is* often valuable to keep … …
- Most searched keywords: Whether you are looking for Most Common Writing Mistakes, Pt. 30: Describing Character Movements – Helping Writers Become Authors Character movement, like anything aspect of fiction, should only be there if it progresses the story. That sa, it *is* often valuable to keep … Surprisingly, the most difficult part of describing character movements is simply remembering to describe those movements in the first place.
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Are You Really Describing Character Movements
Describing Character Movements—for Real
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Writing Movement and Action in Dialogue: 6 Tips | Now Novel
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- Summary of article content: Articles about Writing Movement and Action in Dialogue: 6 Tips | Now Novel Updating …
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- Table of Contents:
1 Using background action to add tone and mood
2 Adding movement to dialogue to keep the story moving
3 Using mid-dialogue actions for tense interruption
4 Revealing character relationships through movement and action
5 Adding dramatic emphasis to characters’ emotions in a scene
6 Using movement gesture and action to reveal personality
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Writing an Action Story: 8 Tips for Strong Pacing | Now Novel
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- Summary of article content: Articles about Writing an Action Story: 8 Tips for Strong Pacing | Now Novel Updating …
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- Table of Contents:
How to write action better
1 Understand strong action and pace
Action vs pace example Twin Peaks
What weakens action and pace
2 Favour active voice
3 Describe deeds movements and gestures
4 Focus on characters’ goals
5 Keep setting and description relevant to your action story
6 Use shorter sentences to increase pace
7 Set off chains of cause and effect
8 Cut filter words
By Jordan
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Writing an Action Story: 8 Tips for Strong Pacing | Now Novel
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- Table of Contents:
How to write action better
1 Understand strong action and pace
Action vs pace example Twin Peaks
What weakens action and pace
2 Favour active voice
3 Describe deeds movements and gestures
4 Focus on characters’ goals
5 Keep setting and description relevant to your action story
6 Use shorter sentences to increase pace
7 Set off chains of cause and effect
8 Cut filter words
By Jordan
10 replies on “Writing an action story 8 tips for strong pacing”
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Writing Movement and Action in Dialogue: 6 Tips | Now Novel
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- Summary of article content: Articles about Writing Movement and Action in Dialogue: 6 Tips | Now Novel 1. Use background action to add tone and mood · 2. Add movement to dialogue to keep the story moving · 3. Use m-dialogue actions for tense … …
- Most searched keywords: Whether you are looking for Writing Movement and Action in Dialogue: 6 Tips | Now Novel 1. Use background action to add tone and mood · 2. Add movement to dialogue to keep the story moving · 3. Use m-dialogue actions for tense … Action and movement in dialogue help to ground characters’ conversations in scenes and events, and add tension, characterization and more. Learn more about writing dialogue.
- Table of Contents:
1 Using background action to add tone and mood
2 Adding movement to dialogue to keep the story moving
3 Using mid-dialogue actions for tense interruption
4 Revealing character relationships through movement and action
5 Adding dramatic emphasis to characters’ emotions in a scene
6 Using movement gesture and action to reveal personality
By Jordan
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Reference For Writers, Description: When to Describe a Movement
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- Summary of article content: Articles about Reference For Writers, Description: When to Describe a Movement moving from one position to another, like going from standing to sitting, or sitting to lying down. · picking up an important object or setting it down. …
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Characterize Through Description of Movement
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Words Used To Describe Movement In Performance | The Drama Teacher
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Cheat Sheets For Writing Body Language – Writers Write
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Most Common Writing Mistakes, Pt. 30: Describing Character Movements
Incorrectly describing character movements ranks surprisingly high among common writing mistakes.
Within the confines of a story, a character can do only three things: he can think, he can talk, and he can move. Out of the three, the first two lend themselves most gracefully to written literature, since words are their very foundation. Movement, although no less important, is a little trickier.
You might think the most difficult aspect of describing character movements would be the descriptive challenges of showing readers exactly what your characters are doing with their bodies. But, actually, the most difficult part is simply remembering to describe those movements in the first place.
Like vanishing settings, less than thorough character choreography can end up leaving readers with either nothing to imagine or, even worse, strangely nonsensical actions in which characters appear to jump from one side of the room to the other or magically end up with a prop in a previously empty hand.
Are You Really Describing Character Movements?
Writers see their stories in perfect Technicolor, right down to the tiniest detail. We see the gold flecks in our heroine’s green eyes. We see the frayed seam in her kid’s sock. We see the expiration date on the milk she’s pouring in his cereal bowl—even before they both gag at its sour smell.
But here’s the sticky part: our readers don’t see all this stuff.
Yes, their own imaginations can and should fill in the blanks. But they can’t paint on the canvas unless we’re giving them the proper paints and brushes. Readers may not need to know about the gold flecks, or the frayed seam, or the expiration date—but they do need to know whenever you character makes an important move. Take a look:
Allie hoisted Jax into his booster seat. They only had ten minutes to eat before she had to be at her job interview.
Jax slapped both hands against the empty tabletop.
Milk, milk, where was the milk? She opened the fridge and slopped milk into the bowl in front of his seat.
By the door, he grabbed Floofy the cat and giggled.
“Get back in your seat and eat your breakfast, right now!”
He stuck out his pink tongue. “Can’t. Smells bad.”
In the windowsill, the cat stopped licking his paw. Even he seemed to wrinkle his nose. Jax was right: the milk did smell suspicious.
How did that bowl end up at Jax’s place at the table? How did Jax end up over by the door with Floofy? How did Floofy end up on the windowsill?
No doubt, smart readers will be able to fill in the blanks and realize that Allie, Jax, and Floofy all moved somewhere in between paragraphs. But they’re not likely to realize that until after they’ve blinked several times in confusion.
It’s one thing to omit unnecessary or blatantly obvious character movements. It’s another thing entirely to create gaping holes in the realism of your story by leaving out causal choreography. Readers will probably realize Jax didn’t just teleport out of his booster seat and Floofy didn’t fly over to the window—but, you gotta admit, that’s what it looks like at first blush.
Describing Character Movements—for Real
Let’s try that again. And this time, we’re going to describe every movement that matters.
Allie hoisted Jax into his booster seat and set a bowl and spoon in front of him. They only had ten minutes to eat before she had to be at her job interview.
Jax slapped both hands against the tabletop, then wriggled out of his seat and ran across the kitchen to where Floofy the cat slept behind the door.
Milk, milk, where was the milk? Allie opened the fridge, grabbed the milk, and turned to slop it into Jax’s bowl.
He grabbed Floofy and giggled. Floofy twisted free and leapt onto the windowsill.
“Get back in your seat and eat your breakfast, right now!” Allie said.
He stuck out his pink tongue. “Can’t. Smells bad.”
In the windowsill, the cat stopped licking his paw. Even he seemed to wrinkle his nose. Jax was right: the milk did smell suspicious.
And the veil lifts! Suddenly, with just a little attention to the details, the scene makes twice as much sense.
You’ll note that correctly describing character movements doesn’t necessarily mean you have to describe every single detail. Readers probably don’t need to know that in between putting Jax in the booster seat and opening the fridge, Allie swiped hair out of her face, blinked twice, licked her lips, took exactly two steps, and flicked aside the towel slung in the fridge door handle.
Then again, maybe readers do need to know all that stuff! But those decisions are going to come down to artistic license. Your first and most important task is to simply make sure the scene makes sense. A simple workmanlike scene will beat the pants off an artistically confusing one any day of the week.
>>Click here to read more posts in the Most Common Writing Mistakes Series.
Tell me your opinion: Has a critique partner or editor ever suggested you weren’t fully describing character movements?
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Writing movement and action in dialogue: 6 tips
Great dialogue in fiction sweeps us up in the story. Movement and action in dialogue are two important elements that serve multiple purposes. Here are tips for writing dialogue that connects your characters to their world:
1. Use background action to add tone and mood
2. Add movement to dialogue to keep the story moving
3. Use mid-dialogue actions for tense interruption
4. Reveal character relationships through movement and action
5. Add dramatic emphasis to characters’ emotions in a scene
6. Use movement, gesture and action to reveal personality
Let’s delve into how to write movement and action into your dialogue:
1. Using background action to add tone and mood
Action or movement in dialogue add important tone and mood. Here’s an example of dialogue-based action and movement that do this subtly:
‘The truth is, for a marriage to survive you don’t need all this talk, talk, talk; all this “I am this” and “I am really like this” like in the papers, all this revelation […]’
Neena frowns, Clara cannot raise serious objection, and the rice is handed around once more.
‘Moreover,’ says Alsana after a pause, folding her dimpled arms underneath her breasts, pleased to be holding forth on a subject close to this formidable bosom, ‘when you are from families such as ours you should have learnt that silence, what is not said, is the very best recipe for family life.’
This example, from Zadie Smith’s White Teeth (2000), shows a conservative British-Indian aunt lecturing her younger nieces.
The actions of this family scene contribute tone. A niece frowns, suggesting disagreement or frustration. The passing around of the rice ‘once more’ suggests a circular discussion, recycled views. There is a sense of repetition (as well as tradition) in the accompanying action. The way the aunt folds her arms suggests a stern, perhaps defensive personality.
Together these extra details convey that while the aunt has many views on marriage, her audience doesn’t necessarily share them. Smith creates this tone before any of the nieces have said a word, effectively, using gesture and action.
Although this is a family scene, with a verbal disagreement, the same principles apply for a tense shootout or scramble against time to diffuse a bomb. In any scene involving dialogue, think of gestures that could show:
How characters feel about their current situation
The general mood (is it tense and full of disagreements about to erupt, like the scene above? Harmonious, rather?)
Characters’ personalities (the aunt comes across as holier-than-thou in the combination of her pleasure lecturing the others and her folded arms)
2. Adding movement to dialogue to keep the story moving
Often we tell stories when we get a chance to gather round, stop, and listen. Like in the family dinner conversation in the example above.
Yet if you have an important conversation between characters in your story, you can bundle this with movement to simultaneously create a smooth transition to new settings or events.
For example, as two horseback riders travel to take news of an impending invasion to a neighbouring kingdom, you might write dialogue that fills in additional exposition. In this case, you have a scene transition that develops your story.
In the following example from Hilary Mantel’s historical novel Wolf Hall (2009), a cardinal and his party are setting off on horseback. Movement and action mid-dialogue add tension and drama to the otherwise static scene:
They are ready to ride. Cavendish looks up. ‘Saints protect us!’ A single horseman is heading downhill at a gallop. ‘An arrest!’
‘By one man?’
‘An outrider,’ says Cavendish, and he says, Putney’s rough but you don’t have to send out scouts.
Here, surrounding movement – the arrival of the not-yet-identified rider – creates a moment of tension and suspense. We wonder who is galloping in and why. The surrounding conversation reveals that the king wishes to arrest one of their company. Thus there is a moment where it seems the rider has come to perform an arrest.
By adding the movement of this hasty arrival, Mantel creates a moment of drama, keeping us focused on unfolding events.
3. Using mid-dialogue actions for tense interruption
The above example is an effective illustration of using mid-dialogue action to heighten tension in a scene quickly. Actions can support the mood and tone of a scene – for example, affectionate words between lovers – but they’re equally useful for sending the scene veering off into unexpected territory.
Think, for example, of two spies fleeing a heavily guarded military facility. What if a soundproof area with automatic doors suddenly cut off the accomplices completely? Suddenly they can’t communicate and time is running out. An event like this raises the stakes in your scene simply by changing the scenario. The characters move from ‘dialogue is possible’ to ‘dialogue isn’t possible’.
As an exercise, take a scene you’ve written. Think of a an event or third-party action that could interrupt the scene. How might it shift the tone and mood of the scene?
Use scene-structuring devices like this when you want to cut from dialogue to a key event faster [join Now Novel for extra help structuring your book and planning elements of your story].
4. Revealing character relationships through movement and action
Movement and action in dialogue also help reveal how characters feel towards each other.
Imagine this example: A character is friendly with a couple who split up. Believing one former partner to be unavailable for an event she invites the other. Yet both show up, not knowing each other are attending.
How do both characters act and move while everyone around them converses at the party? This example comes from a real experience where one ex kept following the other into whatever room they were in, causing the other to quickly seek a new conversation in another part of the house.
In a scene like this, you could show the character avoiding their ex ducking between different conversations to avoid engaging. If you made each conversation they switch between dramatically different, you could play the scene for comedy. The pointlessness of switching between the conversations could underscore the futility of their attempted avoidance.
In an example like this, you can illustrate how a character feels, without having to tell your reader explicitly that they don’t want to talk to their ex.
Movement and action are useful for showing characters’ blossoming relationships, too. Think of the way, for example, people often mirror each other’s body language – leaning forwards, resting arms on the table – when there is mutual interest.
5. Adding dramatic emphasis to characters’ emotions in a scene
Movement and actions in dialogue are also helpful for underscoring how characters feel, without letting the dialogue tag do all the work. It’s unnecessary to write, for example:
‘”What the hell does that mean?” He shouted.’
You can also express the intensity of the emotion here through action and movement:
“What the hell does that mean?” Scowling, he pushed his chair back as though he would get up.
The second example conveys a strong sense of both the diner’s irritation and a sense of an abrupt change in the scene. We wonder, ‘what will he do next?’ His next action is foreshadowed.
Using movement and gesture for emphasis is naturally something to use with discretion. Punctuate every line with a dramatic gesture and your book could start to feel like a soap opera or telenovela!
As with all fictional devices used for emphasis (e.g. exclamation marks), the old saying ‘less is more’ often applies.
6. Using movement, gesture and action to reveal personality
Movement, gesture and action in dialogue make important contributions to character development. Does a character touch another’s arm often while they’re talking to them? Are their arms folded? Do they fidget or pay complete, calm attention?
Think of what a character’s movement or gestures during dialogue may reveal. This way you won’t have to spell absolutely everything about characters’ personalities out for readers.
Consider this example:
He waves me forward, motions me back, tells me to keep my head down so the enemy won’t blow it off.
‘You’re dead,’ he says.
‘No I’m not.’
‘Yes you are. They got you. Lie down.’
There is no arguing with him, since he can see the enemy and I can’t. I have to lie down on the swampy ground, propped against a stump to avoid getting too wet, until it’s time for me to be alive again.
In this scene from Margaret Atwood’s novel Cat’s Eye (1989), her narrator, Canadian painter Elaine Risley, remembers a game of pretend with her brother.
The brother’s commanding motions and gestures, coupled with Elaine’s compliance, indicate that he is perhaps the older sibling. They also suggest bossiness (‘there is no arguing with him’ adds to this idea). In total, the memory shows a younger Elaine as compliant, versus the older author who interacts with men from a position of greater personal power. It also conveys family dynamics, an important element of character development in the book.
As the examples above show, there are many ways to use motion, action and gesture to bring your dialogue to life. Use it to convey the tone of a scene – tense or intimate, peaceful or agitated. Use it to heighten suspense or to underscore emotions.
Balancing action and dialogue well creates scenes that your reader can lose themselves in and enjoy without stopping to think ‘I’m reading dialogue right now.’
Want to write better dialogue? Join our four-week dialogue-writing course. Start anytime and get detailed feedback on a final submission applying the dialogue tips and tricks you’ll learn.
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Writing an action story: 8 tips for strong pacing
‘Action’ and ‘pacing’ are two crucial elements in all stories, particularly in action/adventure and mystery/thriller novels. Knowing how to write action well keeps your tale engaging and fun. Here are 8 tips to help you pace your action story:
How to write action better:
Understand strong action and pace Favour active voice Describe deeds, movements and gestures Focus on characters’ goals Keep setting and description relevant to your action story Use shorter sentences to increase pace Set off chains of cause and effect Cut filter words
Let’s examine each of these points closer:
1: Understand strong action and pace
You likely already have some idea of what action and pace are, but looking at official definitions is often a useful reminder of key aspects.
The official definition of ‘action’, for example, is ‘the fact or process of doing something, typically to achieve an aim.’ (OED). The second part of the sentence is key: Action in a story is aim- or goal-oriented.
We show Pete loading up a revolver in Scene One because we want the reader to anticipate a shooting in Scene Two (or Three, Four, or Five).
Actions are significant.
Action or thriller novels are all about significant actions building (or spiralling) to either foreseeable or surprising conclusions.
‘Pace’ is ‘the speed or rate at which something happens or develops’.
‘Happens or develops’ here reminds us that pace in a story can refer to the pace of an individual scene as well as the rate at which plot events or characters – larger arcs – develop. Something happens in the moment, consequences develop over a duration.
Action vs pace example: Twin Peaks
Consider this example: David Lynch’s reboot of his cult classic TV series Twin Peaks. The pace of story development is slow. The series was filmed as an 18-part ‘movie’, thus individual episodes do not necessarily build to a climax. Yet there is sustained pacing and tension within individual scenes. The director gradually reveals the links between these well-paced scenes as the wider story unfolds.
In the above example, there are two scales of pace. Individual scenes have their own pace, the rate at which events occur over a timeline.
Pace is also measurable over the arc of the entire story.
Think about the small-scale and larger-scale pacing in your own writing. How do specific actions affect your story’s pace?
What weakens action and pace?
Action in writing weakens when:
Characters spend more time in their heads thinking than doing
There are long dialogue sections where (for example) a villian shares their many plans and misdeeds
Sentences are too long and overwrought – stripped down sentences are faster to parse, so the reader moves faster
Pace in writing weakens when:
The author spends too much time sharing irrelevant or unrevealing descriptive detail (detail that doesn’t suggest the potential for action, such as Pete loading his gun and putting it in the trunk of his car)
Scenes are not directed enough – remember that action implies aim
Sentences are long and overly complex
Avoid scene elements that dry up action to keep your novel moving.
2: Favour active voice
Writing in active voice is crucial for keeping both action and pacing taut.
Compare these two sentences, for example:
‘Pete loaded the revolver and placed it in his trunk, checking the road clear behind him.’
Now in passive voice:
The revolver was loaded and placed by Pete in his trunk, while the road was checked to see if it was clear.
See how the auxillary verbs (‘was’) and prepositions (‘by’) begin to creep in and add unnecessary bulk to the sentence?
Compare now to this action-heavy extract (in active voice) by Chuck Palahnuik, from Fight Club:
Four minutes.
I tongue the gun barrel into my cheek and say, you want to be a legend, Tyler, man, I’ll make you a legend. Ive been here from the beginning.
I remember everything.
Three minutes. Chuck Palahnuik, Fight Club (1996), p. 6
The passage is fast-paced. Palahnuik includes the countdown of an explosives timer as sentence fragments, creating a sense of urgency.
To this the author adds Tyler playing games with the narrator, holding a gun in the narrator’s mouth.
The verbs (‘I tongue’, ‘I’ll make’, ‘I’ve been’, ‘I remember’) are all in active voice. Palahnuik breaks conventions of dialogue by not using speech marks but having the narrator’s words flow together without punctuation or italics to identify whether they are thoughts or spoken words.
3. Describe deeds, movements and gestures
Getting stuck in your characters’ minds weakens action. Instead, focus on your characters’ deeds, movements and gestures.
To increase pace in a scene, you might:
Add urgency to actions. Describe characters caught in a time-sensitive process (as in Palahnuik’s insertion of the bomb countdown between his narrator’s thoughts)
Describe characters caught in a time-sensitive process (as in Palahnuik’s insertion of the bomb countdown between his narrator’s thoughts) Interrupt actions with other actions. For example: ‘As he placed the revolver back in the hidden compartment, a strange shuffling noise came from the gap beneath his bedroom door’
For example: ‘As he placed the revolver back in the hidden compartment, a strange shuffling noise came from the gap beneath his bedroom door’ Use strong, active verbs. Instead of ‘he ran’, ‘he sprinted’. Instead of ‘she stood’, ‘she sprang to her feet’. As with all emphatic description, use discretion. If every character springs to their feet every other page, this will stand out as an authorial crutch or habit
Focus on characters’ movements and gestures that are giveaways of their psychological states or intent. A jewel thief might slide on their belly to avoid alarm beams, for example, so that they can escape detection.
4. Focus on characters’ goals
The action in your story reveals (and grows out of) characters’ aims.
Compare, for example, two scenarios:
A character decides to rob a bank and shares their thoughts about this decision. The same character cuts out slits in a stocking to make eye holes, or meets a shady character to buy illegal weapons (with the implied purpose of some or other criminal activity)
Which is the more intriguing introduction to the action that will follow?
Developing plot using characters’ actions is effective because you can split the signifiance of a causal action from the consequence of its effect.
As we see causes piling up (Pete cleaning out and loading his revolver, Pete buying explosives), we wonder what effect of these causal actions the story will lead us to.
5. Keep setting and description relevant to your action story
In an action story, every part can contribute to the flow of the story. Besides using strong, active verbs, active voice and sentence structure, you can also use other elements of craft such as setting to give your story momentum.
For example, if describing a gang lord’s hideout, action-oriented setting description could focus on:
Limited exit points (foreshadowing a later attempted escape)
Signs of camera surveillance (foreshadowing surprise, characters falling into a trap)
Guards and their movements (suggesting your characters will need to outwit them)
Disconcerting sounds or smells (that may or may not be indicative of an impending event)
Describing elements that add to threats, suspense and stakes (like the elements listed above) will propel your story forwards and prepare readers for action and predicaments. The same could be applied to a romance novel. A clumsy character on a date, for example, might notice a precarious vase perched on her and her date’s table.
6. Use shorter sentences to increase pace
Pacing in writing depends on:
Sentence length, structure and complexity
Word choice
Larger structure (paragraphs, scenes, chapters)
For example, Look at another example of action writing in Fight Club:
‘Seven minutes.
Up on top of the Parker-Morris Building with Tyler’s gun in my mouth. While desks and filing cabinets and computers meteor down on the crowd around the building and smoke funnels up from the broken windows and three blocks down the street the demolition team watches the clock, I know all of this: the gun, the anarchy, the explosion is really about Marla Singer.
Six minutes.’ (p. 6)
Each mention of the counting down timer is just two words. This mimics the urgency, the stark reality of a countdown to destruction.
Between these counts, Palahnuik shares his narrator’s racing thoughts. The sentences are longer and complex, but Palahnuik creates a sense of simultaneity using the word ‘while’. While x is going on, y and z are, too.
The author punctuates these longer ramblings with shorter, pace-accelerating time inserts. As a whole, the pace is varied and catches readers’ interest.
7. Set off chains of cause and effect
To create ceaseless action, create chains of cause and effect.
You might (for example) show Pete with the revolver limping in the first scene. We quickly learn he’s limping because he was bitten by a dog. Because he jumped over a private fence (because) the police were after him. Because he’d been hanging around the bank entrance. Due to his accomplice failing to show.
All stories have chains of greater and lesser length of cause and effect. Yet creating chains of dramatic events (with potentially dire outcomes) is the key to engrossing, fast-paced action.
8. Cut filter words
When authors write ‘he saw that it was dark outside’, ‘saw that’ are filter words that place one remove between the reader and the scenario. It’s a fact, rather than the thing itself. Compare to ‘It was dark outside.’ Which would you say is visually stronger?
Keeping good action and pacing in writing requires allowing readers to inhabit your scenes. Great action and pace requires stripping your writing down to essential elements, so that nothing drags except in places where it’s meant to (for example, your main character is waiting in a bar for an associate who is late).
Do your action scenes drag? Get help from an editor and make them crisp and impactful.
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