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What It’s Really Like to Be a Lesbian Porn Star
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- Summary of article content: Articles about What It’s Really Like to Be a Lesbian Porn Star I booked some work off Craigslist for [my first] girl-girl scene. I dn’t know what I was doing but I like sex. [My co-performer] came to my … …
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6 Things You Learn When You Make Lesbian Porn | Thought Catalog
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Error 403 (Forbidden)
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Error 403 (Forbidden)
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Error 403 (Forbidden)
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27 Lesbian Sex Tips Porn Won’t Teach You
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Female Sexuality Is a Mystifying Thing — At Least on the Internet
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Why Straight Girls Do Lesbian Porn | Filthy
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Get Started As A Lesbian Porn Star! – Webcam Startup
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Lesbian Porn Stars Wanted!
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Real Lesbians Talk About the Fakery of Lesbian Porn
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Why Straight Women May Prefer Lesbian Porn, Per Sex Therapists
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Women’s sexualities are allowed to be more fluid
Lesbian porn centers vaginal and clitoral pleasure
You can relate to it better than other kinds of porn
The bottom line It’s okay to watch lesbian porn if you want to
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What It’s Really Like to Be a Lesbian Porn Star
Lily Cade, 30, is one of the few performers who is a lesbian in real life and works in so-called “girl-on-girl” mainstream porn. Here, she talks about what it’s like to work with straight female performers, how she changed her look to conform to mainstream porn standards, and how she wants her porn to appeal to both women and men.
I’ve never touched a penis in my entire life. I am a lesbian. This is my eighth year doing porn. I went to film school at USC [University of Southern California] and I was working as an assistant director. I did some mainstream indies, but my main gig was commercials. I worked on one porn shoot and was like, Oh, I could do this. Then I started taking some porn work on the side and I loved it. I realized I could make my own porn and sell it. I started selling, and then I started directing porn for a couple of companies. It was definitely a conscious decision to put my time and resources into becoming a porn product. I chose that. I had been a domme in college a little bit, so I was familiar with sex work.
I booked some work off Craigslist for [my first] girl-girl scene. I didn’t know what I was doing but I like sex. [My co-performer] came to my house and she asked me to lay out all my sexy underwear. I laid out what I thought was all my sexy underwear, and she goes, “No, baby, like sexy underwear.” Then she decided she was going to dress me. “Do you have any Dolce or Gucci?” She looked like Barbie, and I had a bit of baby fat — [I was a] butchy lesbian. On the day of the shoot, I went to the house where the shoot was, and there were all these blonde tan girls with fake boobs, and they took one look at me and were like, “Oh my god, you need to get a spray tan.” I had never had a spray tan in my life. I was so embarrassed. I was a recovering goth and a super-pale girl and that was a thing that mattered to me, it was a part of who I was. But I wasn’t embarrassed about the sex at all. The scene was supposed to be that it was my first time with a girl. When I was talking to the director, he was just like, “No way, no one will believe it.” So it got switched to the classic porno plot of walking in on my roommate masturbating and I thought I would join in.
I’ve definitely been more accepted by mainstream porn than queer porn. But when I first got in, everybody was like, “No,” because I don’t look like a porn star. I don’t look like what they’re used to selling. I approached every agent in porn and every one of them said, “No, maybe if you started doing boy-girl or grew your hair out.” Their advice was to just be like everybody else.
I told people that if they gave me a chance, I wouldn’t disappoint them, and I show up on time, I do a great scene, I’m cool to crew, and one of the things they know about me is if they call me and they put me with a girl who doesn’t know how to do a scene that I’ll make it good. Half my time now is producing and directing, and half is performing.
My wife is my cameraperson for a lot of my projects, and she is one of my editors, and she built my website. I met her in college. We were both transfer students. We started dating in college and got married in 2008 because it was legal in California. I got into porn two months after we got married. She was with me the whole time. She didn’t care about the sex. If you date me long-term, you have to enjoy the fact that I fuck like that. In porn, I just started getting paid for it and doing it on camera instead of wherever. She didn’t love the look change though. I love the way that I look now. I’m way hotter than when I got in it, but my wife is into a nerdy, butchy lesbian. When I lost 40 pounds, she didn’t even notice. We’d had clashes about choices I’ve made to be more appropriate to porn, but she never cared about the sex. It’s my job.
My overwhelming experience has been that the girls like working with me. I’m a versatile lover. I’ll give you what you want. And I won’t let her just lie there and look pretty and not work. Being strong, I can do the boy-girl style positions and strap-on scenes. I always tell the girls I’m indestructible, you can’t hurt me. I like to ask the girl before I do more complex moves, “Do you trust me?” I need her to trust me or I can’t pick her up, swing her around, eat her pussy while we’re standing up. She’s got to trust me and give her body over to me, or I can’t do it. If she’s resisting me, I’m going to drop her on the ground. I just don’t want that to happen.
All of the strap-on positions are the same as boy-girl in the sense that you need to show the dick. You’ve got to twist your body weirdly and get your legs out of the way and kind of fuck on an angle. Normal people generally don’t have sex standing up over a desk in seven different positions. We do a lot of weird, crazy positions because they look cool. Maybe it doesn’t necessarily feel amazing in the sense that this is the position you’d want to do at home if no one was watching. But I’ve always liked that athletic, performative sex.
I haven’t minded at all the girls [I perform with] not being gay. In my personal life, I kind of like “straight girls,” by which I don’t mean women who don’t like women but women who will date men. They’re bisexual, but culturally or romantically straight. Sex with them is fun and it doesn’t have the same weight — the kind of girl where the boyfriend is OK with them having sex with girls but not dudes. I’ve always gravitated toward that type of girl for hookups. I’ve always dated lesbians for long-term relationships.
[Making chemistry with straight girls] is one of the hardest parts of my job. The couple times I’ve almost quit the business has been because I had a run of girls with bad scenes. I try my best to get the chemistry with everybody or to get to that girl so that she’ll give me real reactions. I always tell girls [to think of me as] male talent. If they understand that and approach it that way, they’ll be a little more into the vibe of it and I’ll be able to do a good scene with girls who aren’t really into girls. You don’t have to make love to me, you don’t have to even touch me. Just let me fuck you, and I’ll get you off, and you’ll like it.Most of the lesbian porn that’s made is really not meant for women. Some women watch it but it’s not the intended market. Frequently it’s a fantasy of what two women would get up to filtered through men on some level and acted by women who may be into women sexually but they don’t have a hunger for girls, it’s not how they frame their sexuality. So a lot of the girl-girl porn that’s out there, when I looked at it, it put me off because it was fake on every level. I try not to do that. I’m trying to bring the emotional content of what I’ve experienced as a lesbian to my work and not just fantasies of why two girls would get together.
Guys like me for the most part because they can identify with me. I’m sort of like the avatar, so they want to be me. And they think I’m sexy so instead of watching a hairy man grunting, they feel like they can understand me and can talk to me. A lot of the guys are kind of nerdy, and they’re able to connect with my persona and I feel like they would like to fuck girls like I do. They like the authenticity and that they can tell it’s real and that I’m forging a connection with people. With female fans they like that I look like their girlfriends. They like that it’s actually fucking, it’s not playing. I strive for authenticity. l like stories, I like emotional content. And I try to bring high-energy, passionate, hardcore lesbian sex with girls who like what they’re doing.
Honestly, I don’t feel like a sell-out because I’m doing my own stuff. Nina Hartley once called me a Trojan horse for queer culture. She hit on exactly how I think about myself. I’m the person on the outside who’s broken in. So instead of making content for the queer community, what I’m doing is going to sets that make porno porn and I’m showing them how a real dyke does it. [Some indie queer performers] will never work for Vivid, they’ll never work for Wicked, but I will. I have the body that I worked for. I’ve chosen to create a look that is accessible to a more mainstream audience, but is undeniably a lesbian look, and I go in and try to push the understanding of this and to push a representation of lesbian sex and a representation of lesbian culture on a wider scale. I don’t see myself as a sell-out; I see myself as a subversive.
“Sex Work” is a weekly series that profiles women who have careers in sex-related industries — from porn stars to sex researchers and everyone in between. Check back every week for the latest interview.
Cheryl Wischhover writes about beauty, health, fitness and fashion. Follow her on Twitter.
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6 Things You Learn When You Make Lesbian Porn
I am proud of my profession. I enjoy what I do very much. I wouldn’t call myself a porn “star” because I’m only remotely known, but I do hope that changes in the future. I know that some people would and do judge me for what I do but I don’t care– I make decent money and I have a hell of a great time doing it. But I’m here today, writing, because I think there’s something to be said about lesbian porn, something I do often.
I have done many scenes with men (I’m a woman) but over the past year or so, I’ve been doing more and more lesbian scenes. Now, let’s get something straight (pun intended). Let’s call it what it is: girl on girl. It’s not made for lesbians. In fact, I’ve had numerous directors who intentionally put a variety of phallic things in the scenes to appeal to a straight audience. I think it’s sad, honestly. I identify as a bisexual, I’m emotionally attracted to women and I believe I will end up with one eventually, but I am sexually attracted to men. I think it’s sad that there are so few channels for women to watch what lesbian sex is really like. For those of you who are questioning their sexuality and maybe even turning to porn to check out some things in the lady lovin’ world, there are some things you should know.
1. Lesbian porn is not made for lesbians, and so the constant use of huge dildos and strap ons is not for all lesbians. Don’t think you NEED that penis to really be fucked by a girl. You absolutely 100% do not. If you like it, awesome! BUT don’t think that just because that’s what the porn stars use that that’s what lesbian sex requires. Not true.
2. Lesbian porn seems to mimic heterosexual sex in that the fingering and oral sex is the foreplay to the “main event” that involves some kind of phallic shaped item. Then there is one (or maybe two) orgasms– which are usually faked– and that’s it. But that’s not how real lesbian sex tends to work, nor is it how it MUST work. What heterosexuals consider foreplay lesbians consider sex and the thing is that it shouldn’t be looked at as somehow a lesser experience. In fact, I believe that the control of one’s fingers, the ability to put more or less in, the ability to touch certain parts in specific motions and while inside actually makes for a better experience, but that’s just me.
3. Even if one or both of the actors is a real lesbian and especially if they are a bit more masculine, they’ll be made up to look extremely feminine and will often play the role of being “straight girls gone bad.” There’s no “rule” that says this is how it should be, nor is it something that anybody necessarily directs one to do, but it’s just what happens. In my experience, I’ve been more dolled up for lesbian sex scenes than other ones. Extensions are put in, eyelashes on, nails painted, the works.
4. It’s not usually that good. The director usually wants to get a shot of the vagina being licked or fingered so you can’t really get that up close and into it… but you have to moan anyway.
5. There’s no conversation when you’re making porn. In my real lesbian sex experiences, I usually very much support if not insist that we be vocal with one another and communicate what feels good, what doesn’t, what works, what doesn’t, higher, lower, left, right, you know how it goes. Such is not the case in porn. You can’t stop because they’re rubbing your clit in an uncomfortable way. Largely, it isn’t that great.
6. If you want to know what lesbian sex is like, have it in real life. It’s much more intimate, sensual, honest and human. If you want to get off on it, have a field day, but don’t worry if your sex life looks nothing like that which you watch on the internet. It’s not really supposed to anyway.
27 Lesbian Sex Tips Porn Won’t Teach You
When it comes to porn, “lesbian sex” is everywhere, but it’s never actually for lesbians. For some reason, it’s nearly impossible to find “content” where women are having sex with women only for women.
Where do you go if you’re looking for a move or six?
We’ve gathered up tips from cis and trans queer women of different ages, races, and sexual styles. Of course, you don’t have to be a lesbian to have “lesbian sex.” You just need two women. Whether you’re a baby dyke or seasoned sapphic, you can learn something here you won’t on Pornhub. Some of the following images are NSFW.
Illustrations by Tevy Khou
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