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How to Make Love With Transgender Females – Transgender Magazine
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14 Things You Need to Know Before Dating a Trans Woman
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14 Things You Need to Know Before Dating a Trans Woman
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How to Make Love With Transgender Females – Transgender Magazine
Most men on this planet will not experience the transgender dating experience due to a combination of social conditioning and internalized inhibitions; they are missing out big time. Love with a transsexual woman is an exhilarating experience. The whole experience is further enhanced due to the novelty factor and the knowledge that most men will go to the grave without experiencing this “forbidden” pleasure.
There are two types of transgender women: ones who have had Vaginoplasty and those who have not. The sexual experience with both of them is different and, in their own way, exciting. Women who have had Vaginoplasty have a surgically implanted vagina that is fresh and may feel better than that of a cis-woman. Many Trans women have had this surgery, and most contemplate having it.
Trans women who have had vaginoplasty have pleasure just like cis-women. Do not believe what they show in websites; Trans women are women and are not some dominatrix. They expect to be led into the bedroom. Trans women can be really shy, and therefore it is up to the man to lead in the bedroom. Also, men have to be gentle with these women, as they might not be used to their newly implanted vaginas.
Trans women who have not had vaginoplasty usually make up for it with their stunner bodies. It is very possible that Trans women usually have better-proportioned bodies than cis-women, which helps during lovemaking. Make love with Trans women who have not had the surgery is different, and it really helps if you are bisexual. If you are not, then this is the best chance for you to try. Anal sex rates among the top sexual fantasies of all men and this are the perfect opportunity for you to indulge in that fantasy. It is, however, different from homosexual as you are making love with a woman.
Make love with a transsexual woman is a really passionate affair, and you get to connect with your animal side during the whole episode. Trans women may be extremely feminine during the date, but in bed, they have a sexual appetite that very few cis-women can compete with. It is a raunchy and passionate affair. Most cis-women have a certain frigidity to them that does not allow them to totally open up during the lovemaking, but there is no such problem with Trans women.
While making love with a transgender woman, the most important thing to remember is to forget everything that you might have seen in transgender porn. There will be no dominatrix role play (at least not at first). Go about the lovemaking like you would normally, and allow the sexual tension to build up. Start by helping her get warmed up to you before making your move. Then take the lead and let love take its course.
14 Things You Need to Know Before Dating a Trans Woman
1. Don’t refer to me as a “tranny.” Sure, while you might see a lot of trans porn stars labeling themselves that way, many trans women experience it as derogatory. The term “tranny” makes me feel like a thing rather than a person. Porn companies are giving their audience a fantasy. Unfortunately, these fantasies are all too often produced and directed by cis men. Simply put: Don’t let what you see in porn dictate how you communicate with a trans woman.
2. Don’t make me feel like I need to be your teacher 24/7. Many guys tend to ask questions, which is good in some circumstances. For example, once we’ve gotten to know each other, asking me if I’m non-op (transgender individuals who have not had any surgery), pre-op (transgender individuals who have not had genital surgery, but may have had breast augmentations) or post-op (transgender individuals who have had breast augmentation and genital surgery) is fine, since it’s a personal question about me. Asking me what’s the difference between a cross dresser and transgender makes me feel like I’m your personal textbook. Also, it’s kind of offensive! A lot of this information is available online. Do a little research first, please.
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3. Treat me like a person and not a sexual unicorn. Men that I’ve dated tend to oversexualize transgender women as these rare, mystical beings who are always horny and ready to have sex. When I’ve met men at a bar or restaurant, I’ve had great conversations with them. Once they ask me out and I inform them of my gender, however, a total 360 happens. Once, when I was at a lounge with a few friends, I went to the bar to grab some drinks and met this guy. After about 10 minutes of conversation he asked if he could take me out the following night. I leaned forward and whispered in his ear, “I’m a transgender female.” His looked shocked, but then he then grabbed my thigh and asked, “Can I see your cock?” Sadly, this is not uncommon territory; trans people are often violated like this. To many guys, we’re “good enough” for sex but not to be seen out with in public.
4. Be prepared for some “hairy” situations. Some girls are further along in their transitions than others. When you’ve recently started dating a girl who is early-to-mid transition, don’t look at her like she’s Chewbacca for having some facial stubble in the morning. We’re likely to already feel insecure about it; guys or girls, please don’t add insult to injury.
5. Be secure with yourself and the relationship. If you are only comfortable with me in the bedroom, then you are not comfortable with yourself. You should be able to be secure at the beach, coffee shop, and anywhere else. Trans women can sense when men are insecure about dating us because they don’t show affection like they would behind closed doors. A friend of mine told me that a guy she was seeing would intentionally walk ahead of her and not show any form of PDA, and only wanted to do takeout from restaurants. She asked him why he kept doing this and he said he didn’t want anyone to know they were together because she was not very “passable.” This, my friends, is the definition of a true asshole.
6. Don’t stereotype me. Yes, there are some trans women who are escorts; however, that is not the case for everyone. Way too often, guys will throw around some equally bigoted remark and then say, “Don’t be offended, I don’t know much about this stuff,” as if ignorance makes it OK for you to imply I’m a prostitute.
7. Don’t compare me to cis women. We are not and will never be cis women. So, when you’re talking to a trans woman, don’t refer to cis women as “normal” or “regular” girls. This can come off pretty damn ignorant and make a trans girl feel like you see her as something abnormal, like she’s not really a girl.
8. Yes, I graduated from college. When I go on dates, so many guys are surprised to hear that I attended a four-year college and have graduated. Being a trans woman does not mean we all come from broken and battered homes, and have no education or plans for our future.
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9. We need to get through one date before discussing sex. I need the time to know you before I can let you in my bedroom. I cannot count how many dates I’ve been on where within the first 15 minutes, guys are asking me about what I’d like to do to them. This is a massive turn-off. If I wanted sex right now I wouldn’t be here, on a date in a public place, with my clothes on, and not in your bedroom.
10. But we should still probably discuss sex before we do it. If you’re dating a pre-op girl, there are many things to consider that might not come up when dating cis women. For example: oral stimulation. How comfortable does the man feel performing it, and how comfortable is the woman receiving it? Some pre-op trans girls are opposed to having their penis touched and some are comfortable with it as long as the guy is comfortable. This is a relationship and what happens between those four walls is something that is shared between you two. So if your male partner is more inclined to give oral or even be penetrated, have at it. Just talk it out first.
11. Dating a trans woman does not make you gay. Dating a trans woman is ultimately dating a woman; what you are attracted to physically is typically her femininity. We are not men. Yes, we were born boys and some of us may have the same genitals, however, there is more to a relationship than just your junk. And hey, there are many “straight” couples who incorporate “pegging” or strap-ons into their sex lives. The labels are just not necessary. Love is love.
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12. I am not an experiment. I am not your lab rat or personal science experiment. It’s already hard for a trans girl to genuinely date or be in a relationship, because of, oh, I don’t know: points nos. 1–11. Guys, be very clear and up-front about what you are seeking. If it’s not something the woman is looking for, then move on.
13. No, not all trans women are porn stars. If you came into the relationship thinking you were about to have the wildest, best sex that makes you pop like warm champagne, you might need to reconsider. Porn is fantasy; not every girl is going to give you Mia Bella in sexy lingerie and serve you a platter of the raunchiest sex you’ve had. Don’t let porn overshadow the girl.
14. Be accepting and supportive of the transition. There are so many steps within our transition, and more than likely each of them costs a substantial amount of money. From hormones and laser hair removal to breast augmentations and gender confirmation surgery. You have to be patient because it truly costs for us to be the woman we see ourselves as. Don’t be the guy to lose out on a great girl because she hasn’t had her breasts done yet.
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