Top 20 How To Move On From The Mother Of Your Child Best 34 Answer

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How do you let go of someone you have a child with?

15 Ways To Let Go Of Someone You Love
  1. Accept the reality. …
  2. Distance yourself. …
  3. Discard the things that remind you of them. …
  4. Give yourself time to heal. …
  5. Focus on yourself. …
  6. Do not bottle up your feelings. …
  7. Banish the negative feelings. …
  8. Forgive yourself.

How do I get over my ex when we have a child?

It’s essential that you take time to heal. Usually, a breakup requires space. Taking time away from each other, letting the metaphorical scrapes and cuts heal will slowly make your relationship better. You must be okay with lessened contact and communication—aside from the conversations regarding your child.

How do I let go of my child’s mother?

It’s Simple, but not Easy: 5 Ways to “Let Go” as a Parent
  1. Stop trying to raise a “Happy Kid” Your job, as a parent, is to raise a well-adjusted individual who can manage life outside the safety net of your home. …
  2. Help them to Help Themselves. …
  3. Start small. …
  4. Challenge yourself to examine your intentions. …
  5. Stay in the moment.

Is it better to stay together for a child?

There’s evidence suggesting staying together for a child may not be helpful when the relationships are strained, volatile, or violent; and there’s evidence that staying together is better than splitting even if tension remains.

How do I show my ex I don’t care anymore?

Don’t show any signs you care.
  1. Go to their parties or special events. …
  2. Pay them compliments.
  3. Call your ex “just to talk.” If you need to talk, have something specific in mind you want to talk about. …
  4. Late night talks. …
  5. Get caught staring or looking too long at your ex.

How do you move on when children are involved?

Suggestions to help your child cope include:
  1. Encourage your child to talk about their feelings openly and as often as they want.
  2. Tell your child that it is OK to have a range of different feelings and suggest appropriate ways to express these feelings. …
  3. Share your own feelings – for example, cry together.

How do you let go of an ex who has moved on?

5 Ways to Move on From an Ex You Still Love
  1. Cut off all communication (Both direct and indirect) For the sake of your physical and mental health, this is the first thing you’ve got to do. …
  2. Forgive the past. …
  3. Let’s get real. …
  4. Understand that it’s natural to still love your ex. …
  5. Don’t forget to love you. …
  6. In short.

How do you let go of someone you love emotionally?

  1. Decide Whether the Relationship Is Worth it. Behavior psychologist Wendy M. …
  2. Cut Off Contact. …
  3. Accept That You’re Only in Control of Your Own Actions. …
  4. Lean on Friends and Family. …
  5. Trust the Process. …
  6. Prioritize Self-Care. …
  7. Reframe Your Definition of Forgiveness. …
  8. Rebound with Caution.

How do I emotionally detach from my child?

Examples of Detaching
  1. Focus on what you can control. …
  2. Respond dont react. …
  3. Respond in a new way. …
  4. Allow people to make their own (good or bad) decisions.
  5. Dont give advice or tell people what they should do.
  6. Dont obsess about other peoples problems.
  7. Set emotional boundaries by letting others know how to treat you.

How do you truly let go?

Tips for letting go
  1. Create a positive mantra to counter the painful thoughts. …
  2. Create physical distance. …
  3. Do your own work. …
  4. Practice mindfulness. …
  5. Be gentle with yourself. …
  6. Allow the negative emotions to flow. …
  7. Accept that the other person may not apologize. …
  8. Engage in self-care.

How long does parent/child estrangement usually last?

Nine years, average. Five-plus years for mothers, seven-plus for fathers. Less than five years, in most cases.

How do you Coparent with a toxic ex?

7 Tips for Healthy Co-Parenting When a Toxic Ex Is Involved
  1. Avoid speaking negatively about the other parent to the child. …
  2. Identify what Is most important to you as a parent. …
  3. Support communication between your child and ex-spouse. …
  4. Consider the other parent when making decisions about your child.

How do you live with your ex you still love?

Here are some things you can do to make living with your ex easier on both of you:
  1. Set clear boundaries for finances and behavior. …
  2. Don’t force small talk. …
  3. Don’t cook together. …
  4. Don’t drink together. …
  5. Sleep in different rooms! …
  6. Discuss how you will deal with having friends over. …
  7. Don’t bring dates home.

How do I deal with my ex moving on with someone else?

6 Tips to Help You Cope When Your Ex Starts Dating Someone Else
  1. 01 of 06. Feel Your Feelings. …
  2. 02 of 06. Allow Yourself To Be Jealous. …
  3. 03 of 06. Remember Why You Divorced. …
  4. 04 of 06. Try To Move Forward. …
  5. 05 of 06. Know That You Aren’t Being Replaced. …
  6. 06 of 06. Try To Be Happy for Your Ex.

How do you move on from a relationship with a child involved?

Suggestions to help your child cope include:
  1. Encourage your child to talk about their feelings openly and as often as they want.
  2. Tell your child that it is OK to have a range of different feelings and suggest appropriate ways to express these feelings. …
  3. Share your own feelings – for example, cry together.

How do you let go of someone you love emotionally?

  1. Decide Whether the Relationship Is Worth it. Behavior psychologist Wendy M. …
  2. Cut Off Contact. …
  3. Accept That You’re Only in Control of Your Own Actions. …
  4. Lean on Friends and Family. …
  5. Trust the Process. …
  6. Prioritize Self-Care. …
  7. Reframe Your Definition of Forgiveness. …
  8. Rebound with Caution.

How do I emotionally detach from my child?

Examples of Detaching
  1. Focus on what you can control. …
  2. Respond dont react. …
  3. Respond in a new way. …
  4. Allow people to make their own (good or bad) decisions.
  5. Dont give advice or tell people what they should do.
  6. Dont obsess about other peoples problems.
  7. Set emotional boundaries by letting others know how to treat you.

Christian Family Movie \”A Mother’s Love\” | How to Lead Your Child to the Right Path of Life
Christian Family Movie \”A Mother’s Love\” | How to Lead Your Child to the Right Path of Life


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How to Be a Great Co-Parent With an Ex (When You Still Have Feelings)

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Take Time to Heal

What Does Effective Co-Parenting Look Like

Boundaries Are Essential

Remember That You’re Family

Communicate as a Team

Be Flexible and Accessible

Navigate Conversations With Your Child Carefully

Find a Support Network

Use Tech to Your Advantage

Get a Co-Parenting Agreement

Co-Parenting With Feelings Is Possible

We are a co-parenting facilitator!

How to Be a Great Co-Parent With an Ex (When You Still Have Feelings)
How to Be a Great Co-Parent With an Ex (When You Still Have Feelings)

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No Contact Rule When You Have A Child Together? Here Is How To Go About It! – YouTube

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No Contact Rule When You Have A Child Together? Here Is How To Go About It! - YouTube
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Getting Over The Mother Of Your Child – Dating, Sexuality, Relationships, Family – Actualized.org Forum

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How to Be a Great Co-Parent With an Ex (When You Still Have Feelings)

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Take Time to Heal

What Does Effective Co-Parenting Look Like

Boundaries Are Essential

Remember That You’re Family

Communicate as a Team

Be Flexible and Accessible

Navigate Conversations With Your Child Carefully

Find a Support Network

Use Tech to Your Advantage

Get a Co-Parenting Agreement

Co-Parenting With Feelings Is Possible

We are a co-parenting facilitator!

How to Be a Great Co-Parent With an Ex (When You Still Have Feelings)
How to Be a Great Co-Parent With an Ex (When You Still Have Feelings)

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How to Get Over a Breakup Where There Are Children Involved | Our Everyday Life

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EVENTS & ENTERTAINING

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Quick Answer: How To Move On From The Mother Of Your Child – Worldanything

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How do you get over a breakup with your child’s mother

How do you stop loving someone you have a child with

How do you deal with a breakup with a child

How do you Coparent someone you still love

How do you Coparent with a toxic ex

What to do when your ex is turning your child against you

How do you stop loving someone you see everyday

How do you walk away from someone you love

How do I make him feel bad for leaving

Is it better to stay together for a child

What are the five stages of a breakup

How does a broken home affect a child

What co-parenting should not do

Does co-parenting get easier

Can you co parent without talking

What is malicious mother syndrome

How do you co parent with a narcissist

Can you block your child’s father

When a mother turns a child against father

Why do mothers alienate fathers

When a child is being manipulated by other parent

Quick Answer: How To Move On From The Mother Of Your Child - Worldanything
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Family breakups – supporting children – Better Health Channel

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15 Right Ways To Let Go Someone You Love And Move On

IN THIS ARTICLE

Letting go of someone you love is not so easy as it sounds. It is complicated, especially when you dreamt of having a future with them. The first few weeks after a breakup can take a toll on your emotions and leave you scarred. However, there are ways to cope with heartbreak and not lose your mind over something that doesn’t exist anymore. If you want to take your mind off the breakup and start afresh, reading our post can help you let go of the person you loved. Follow the steps one by one, and soon you will find the light at the end of the tunnel and recover yourself from the emotional turmoil.

15 Ways To Let Go Of Someone You Love

1. Accept the reality

Yes, it may sound like a horrible thing to do, but letting go means accepting the truth. No matter how things ended between you two, dealing with your emotions head-on and being completely honest with yourself can allow you to take stock of the situation and set your sights on the future.

2. Distance yourself

Break off contact and distance yourself, both physically and emotionally. You could start by deleting their number on your phone or blocking them on social media. Also, try to avoid the places they are likely to frequent. Now, your priority should be self-care and self-healing (more on these later in this post).

3. Discard the things that remind you of them

Apart from distancing yourself, you will also have to discard the things that are likely to remind you of them. From love letters to tickets and teddy bears to clothing, get rid of everything. If you are not ready to discard them just yet, box them. You also have to delete those songs on your playlist or photos that remind you of them.

4. Give yourself time to heal

Do not rush the process as it can only make it harder for you to process your feelings and emotions. Give yourself enough time to heal. Take the time to introspect and become self-aware of your feelings and emotions. Let yourself go through all the pain, anger, and sadness and remind yourself that this is a temporary phase. Of course, time may not heal all your wounds but will definitely make it easier for you to let go of that person.

5. Focus on yourself

Be kind to yourself. You could spend this time to find out what you want from life. Do the things that you have been planning to do but couldn’t until now. Develop and sustain a healthy daily routine, such as working, exercise, healthy eating, social interaction, etc. Also, spend some time in solitude and introspect on your current situation, the things you love, and the things you could live without.

6. Do not bottle up your feelings

After a breakup, you are bound to experience a whole range of feelings, including anger, disappointment, and hurt. The worst thing that you could do is to bottle up these feelings and emotions. Remember that it is completely normal to cry your heart out after a breakup. Bottling up your feelings could actually hold you back from letting go of your ex.

7. Banish the negative feelings

In order to let go of the person you love, you need to let go of your negative emotions. Figure out the feelings that you need to leave behind, and make a conscious effort to find a healthy outlet—it could be something as simple as working out, painting, writing, punching a boxing bag, or talking to someone you trust.

8. Forgive yourself

Stop viewing your relationship as a failure and putting all the blame on yourself. Holding on to guilt will only hold you back. Instead, realize that the past is the past, and consider the mistakes that you have made as a learning experience.

9. Do not fantasize

To truly let go of the person you love, overcome the phase of fantasizing about your ex coming back to you. It does not help thinking about what could have been if you had done something differently or what could be if you get back together. Do a reality check, admit that whatever happened has happened as a reality, and look forward to the future. Indulging in fantasies will only prevent you from moving on.

10. Reach out to someone you trust

The feelings of loneliness and isolation can overwhelm you. Reach out to a person you trust, confide in them, and get support and love from them. If possible, get guidance and advice from a loved one who had gone through a similar experience.

11. Take it as a learning experience

Breakups are never easy, but remember that each breakup comes with a learning experience. Instead of dwelling on what you could have done, count the lessons that the relationship has taught you. Identify what clicked and what didn’t. Learn from the mistakes you have committed. Remember, you’ll become a stronger person, and your next relationship would be stronger.

12. Spend quality time with your friends

Reach out to your friends with whom you could not spend enough time. Distract yourself from the hurt that you are experiencing by making plans with friends and doing fun things. However, remember to be choosy, and stick to those who you trust and can help you become the best version of yourself.

13. Practice self-care

The process of letting go of someone you love can impact your energy level and make you less motivated. Pamper yourself and channel all the love that you have been offering your partner to yourself. Fall in love with yourself, get enough rest, eat well, exercise, take a break from work, and make time for the simple, pleasurable things of life.

14. Stay single for a while

As you struggle to let go of someone you love, it is easy for you to seek love and attention from other people. However, avoid dating the next person you meet. Remember, you are not emotionally ready for it yet. Staying single for a while can help you recover and get ready for a healthy relationship.

15. Seek professional help

The process of letting go of someone you love can be taxing. It can drain you emotionally and mentally. If, despite all your efforts, you can’t seem to control your emotions, try to approach a professional therapist or counselor. They could offer you a safe space to explore your pain and help you look at things from a new perspective.

Frequently Asked Questions 1. Can I love someone and still let go? It’s really painful and can feel like a nightmare. But sometimes, life gives no choice, and letting go is the only choice. Love and relationships can feel incomplete and worthless when affection, passion, and romance begin to fade. At such times, one must acknowledge that parting ways would be healthy for both parties involved and thus, let go of them. 2. How does co-parenting work with someone I still love? Co-parenting after separating or letting go can be tricky and super challenging. Recognizing and respecting each other’s parenting styles, setting clear boundaries, and having open communication can help co-parent in the best possible manner. For the sweet little child, both parents would have to keep their issues aside and come together to give them a healthy childhood.

Letting go of someone you love is a difficult choice and heartbreaking experience. But giving yourself enough time, loving yourself, letting your feelings out, and discarding things that remind you of them are a few ways that can help you in the process. You must remember that you will find love again, and the pain will be a learning experience. The best thing you can do is focusing on yourself and working towards making yourself better.

Key Pointers When you let go of someone you love, it could be harder to process your feelings and emotions.

Accepting the reality, focusing on yourself, sticking with your decision, and seeking help from friends or professionals can help make the process easier.

It is difficult to let go of the person, but not impossible.

How to Be a Great Co-Parent With an Ex (When You Still Have Feelings)

Relationships aren’t built overnight. All lovers create a story filled with moments that once had so much meaning. But not all relationships last.

And once they’re over, sometimes the thought of your ex makes you angry, but sometimes you mourn the loss of your lover.

This powerplay of emotions is worse if you and your ex have a child together. As co-parents, the two of you are bound together—whether you like it or not.

The fall of a relationship is painful and sad. When there are children in the mix, the situation can become even more emotional, even volatile.

So, how do you move on from heartbreak and effectively co-parent with an ex?

Keep reading for some tips on managing the conflict and pain associated with a break-up so you can be the best parent to your child.

Take Time to Heal

While some people break up amicably, no break-up is ever mutual. Someone will always be more hurt than the other, even if the decision to end the relationship was a logical one.

If you’re hurting from a breakup, it might feel impossible to raise a child with the one person in the world who loves your child as much as you do.

It’s essential that you take time to heal.

Usually, a breakup requires space. Taking time away from each other, letting the metaphorical scrapes and cuts heal will slowly make your relationship better.

You must be okay with lessened contact and communication—aside from the conversations regarding your child. The awkwardness will pass, even if there are negative feelings in the meantime.

You should be kind and supportive to your ex, but it’s acceptable to not be best friends. It doesn’t mean you won’t get there in the future.

What Does Effective Co-Parenting Look Like?

In a healthy co-parenting situation, both parents are involved in the child’s day-to-day life. Co-parents communicate effectively and share the responsibilities of parenting—including the financial, logistical, and emotional ones.

To be a good co-parent, you must communicate respectfully when hurdles come up and work together in the best interest of your child.

In most healthy co-parenting relationships, parents allow each other to express their own parenting style when they are with their child.

Co-parenting doesn’t have a definition—it’s more of a lifestyle. It’s communicating and collaborating with your ex in a way that is peaceful, respectful, fair, and with your child’s wellbeing in mind.

Boundaries Are Essential

It’s common for people to change after a separation. When you are forced to move on from a relationship, you have to unlearn your former partner.

Things that used to be your business aren’t anymore. You don’t have the right to ask personal questions, and you’re not entitled to the answers to the personal questions you do ask.

In the beginning, it’s best to limit any conversation to those about your child. As time goes on and you share endearing or funny stories about your child, you will naturally begin to feel like friends again. Just don’t expect this to come immediately.

Your former spouse doesn’t need to know if you’re going on a date or if you’ve got a new hair cut. They don’t need to know anything that doesn’t pertain to your child, and neither do you.

Put simply, you’re entitled to your privacy. And so is your ex. Try hard not to blur the lines with your ex. Parenting alone is hard, especially when you’re hurting, but it’s essential to move on and be separate people.

Remember That You’re Family

Maybe it doesn’t sound ideal right now, but like it or not, your former spouse will always be family.

Because you have a child between the two of you, you need to embrace them as family, as well as any new partners that come into the picture. If you can, be friendly and respectful to their new partner.

At the end of the day, you want your child to look around and be surrounded by people who only want to see them succeed. So, settle in. Do what you can to be together around your child. If the wounds aren’t too fresh, schedule family nights—play games, take walks, keep it light—and make it consistent.

Communicate as a Team

While it might be hard to have conversations with your ex after a difficult breakup, try to take the emotion out of the conversation. Disagreements will arise, and it’s vital to keep heated moments behind closed doors and away from your child.

If you know you’re going to have a difficult conversation, schedule it in advance and meet at a neutral location.

And if a conversation can’t wait, only communicate in front of your kids if you can do it wisely. If you’re capable of working things out amicably, it can be good for your child to see you working through a disagreement together.

Above all, remember never to get personal and be respectful to one another.

Be Flexible and Accessible

Again and again, you will hear that consistency is key. It’s true, you should strive to make your child feel stable during shaky times. However, you should also be flexible.

When you request a change to the schedule, give your ex the benefit of the doubt when it comes to forgiveness and scheduling. This means you should switch days when necessary, welcome your ex to family events, and invite them to your child’s important events—even if it hurts to do so.

Always make an effort to stick to the schedule, but be open to change, especially if it’s easy to accommodate. Don’t deny your ex time just to be difficult because one day you might need their kindness in the same situation.

You should also try to be available to your ex, even if your instinct tells you to ignore their attempts at conversation. Don’t inconvenience yourself to take their call every time if you’re not available, but pick up the phone when you can.

Your child will appreciate seeing the two of you communicating efficiently, respectfully, and kindly.

Navigate Conversations With Your Child Carefully

It’s absolutely essential that parents don’t speak ill—or allow a third-party to speak negatively—about each other. It’s easy to get nasty and want to get even by insulting your ex behind their back, but the consequences to your child are potentially huge.

Each time you speak negatively around your child about someone else, you’re setting an example for them. You might also be making them feel insecure, as many children see themselves as a blend of their parents. If you and your ex openly hate each other, it drains your child’s self-worth.

When parenting alone, it can be tempting to talk to your children as if you’re friends—discussing adult topics such as parenting plans and money, and throwing ideas at the wall with them. While you should give your children room to make decisions, their freedom to choose should be limited.

Let your child pick out their clothes, but don’t let them make big decisions such as where they will live and when. Giving a child too much power actually has a negative effect on them—they can begin to feel guilty or anxious.

Find a Support Network

When tensions are running high while co-parenting, it’s vital to have a support network to help you navigate difficult times.

Confide in a friend who can help you see both sides clearly, seek out the advice of a trusted religious leader, or join a supportive Facebook group.

Whatever is happening in your life, you’re not alone, and you might find comfort in talking to others who are in the same situation.

Use Tech to Your Advantage

Co-parenting and technology go hand-in-hand. When raising kids in two households, technology keeps things easy and interesting.

For example, you can set up a digital diary for your ex and you to share. Write notes about cute things your child does or funny things they say. Add photos and thoughts from two different perspectives—you can even add voice messages or videos. The possibilities are endless.

You can also take advantage of video-call apps such as Skype, Hangout, and FaceTime. These apps are useful in long-distance co-parenting situations. The long-distance parent can be a part of your child’s daily life. Call them during bedtime or during trips to school in the car.

As your child observes you having conversations about everyday life with your ex, this will ensure him or her that you’re on the same team. They don’t need to know how complicated it is to co-parent—just show them that you’re trying.

Finally, try installing a co-parenting app that allows you and your ex to coordinate calendars, expenses, schedule switches, and more. By getting organized and staying on top of medical records, child-related finances, and more, you’ll always know what’s around the corner. You’ll be more confident in conversations with your ex if there is a disagreement.

Get a Co-Parenting Agreement

If you find that you’re having trouble communicating with your ex, try asking an attorney to draft a co-parenting or custody plan. You can also draft one yourself if you feel comfortable doing so.

Then, you can keep this document between the two of you or file it with the court system. It’s a plan that serves as a friendly reminder that you have promised each other to raise your child in a way that benefits them the most.

A co-parenting agreement serves as a contract that addresses how both parents should behave toward each other and their children. This is in an effort to raise healthy, happy kids.

What’s Addressed in a Co-Parenting Plan?

If you’re filing for custody, the court may ask for a plan that includes an agreement upon the following issues:

Regular time-sharing schedule

Holiday and summer time-sharing schedules

Child support

Payment of child care and extracurricular activities

Payment of children’s health insurance and medical expenses

Restrictions on how far the parents can live from one another

Keeping each parent informed about important issues affecting the child

Sharing decisions about religious education

You can tweak a co-parenting plan to include other issues, such as:

Access to other relatives

Rights of first refusal

Use of a shared calendar or co-parenting app

Transportation costs

Meeting locations

Co-parenting communication (i.e. the number of hours each parent has to respond to communication)

Time-sharing for life events

If you’re wondering whether something is important to include, you should probably include it. Add anything else you and your ex typically argue about so that it’s clear and in writing to refer to when emotions run high.

Co-Parenting With Feelings Is Possible

At one point in time, you and your ex loved each other enough to have a child together. Sometimes things don’t work out between people, and while that’s unfortunate, it shouldn’t be the end of the world for your child.

You must embrace the fact that you’re separated and have to maintain a relationship with your ex for the sake of your children. You are bound together forever through the child you made together.

Learn how to let go and be a responsible co-parent so that you can raise a happy child.

2houses is an app that can help you improve your family life by offering various tools and services related to co-parenting success. You can manage shared expenses, use a shared interface to send secure messages, log medical information, and more.

If you need help navigating your co-parenting relationship with your ex, consider downloading 2houses and using it as a hub for all things co-parenting.

It’s Simple, but not Easy: 5 Ways to “Let Go” as a Parent

It’s Simple, but not Easy: 5 Ways to “Let Go” as a Parent

When it comes to parenting, the phrase “letting go” is counterintuitive and feels like an impossibility for most parents. It’s often used in therapeutic settings as an effective tool for managing hardships, events, and situations outside of our control.

But, when it comes to parenting, it’s easier said than done. How can we be expected to “let go” of the outcome for a person we are programmed to care for and protect?

At Solutions Parenting Support, we teach our parents that letting go is a learned skill that helps parents get out of habitual emotional parenting and into wise-minded parenting, instead. Why? Because emotional parenting often perpetuates negative patterns in a family system.

The difference between wise-minded parenting and emotional parenting.

Being a wise-minded parent does not mean you don’t care about the outcome for your child and it certainly does not mean detaching from your child. It does mean detaching from the emotional responses so that parents approach challenging situations in a cognitive, thoughtful and intentional manner, instead of an emotional one.

Why is “letting go”, as a parent, simple, yet not easy?

From the moment a child enters into the picture, most parents are full of hopes and beliefs for their children’s lives. In the early years, parents make decisions about every aspect of their child’s life: what they eat, whom they play with, what time they go to bed, where they go to school, etc.

As children enter adolescence, it is important that parents make room for their kids to assert some independence. This is a difficult adaptation for parents in the easiest of situations and can become a monumental task if your child has demonstrated poor decision making and judgment.

So how can you implement the idea of letting go into your parenting style?

Here are our 5 top tips from our years of working with our parent coaching clients.

1. Stop trying to raise a “Happy Kid”

Your job, as a parent, is to raise a well-adjusted individual who can manage life outside the safety net of your home. This is actually more important than raising a “happy” kid. “Letting go” of needing to feel in control of your child’s happiness allows you to redefine parenting into teaching self-efficacy, which is a skill that has a much greater chance of ensuring a fulfilling and meaningful life for your child.

2. Help them to Help Themselves

Instead of focusing on “helping them” switch your mindset to “helping your child help themselves.” For example, when your child asks for a pen, a nice low-risk situation, you can say, “well, where are 3 places one might be and if there is not one in any of those I will see what I can do.”

3. Start small

Boundaries and expectations, in your home, are opportunities to teach problem-solving, relationship repair and accountability (all skills needed to function as an adult). Practice offering choices within your comfort level. For example, a small boundary could be, “If you oversleep this morning, I will have to stay at work later so I won’t be able to drive you to our cousin’s as we planned.’

As you find areas to offer choice, you send the message that you believe your children are competent and have the ability to make decent decisions. You send them the message that you see them as individuals capable of having different perspectives and priorities. As you create opportunity through boundaries, you provide the chance to make positive decisions and can be there to support them when they make mistakes.

4. Challenge yourself to examine your intentions.

Are you afraid of what your child will or won’t do, in any given situation? Do you have faith that they can handle things? Do you trust your child will make decisions based on your family values? Are you living in fear of what might happen, and making decisions based on potential future events?

Understanding intentions creates the opportunity to reframe your beliefs and then approach a difficult situation with clarity, rather than resorting to the emotional reaction. For example, at times many of the parents we work with share that they believe their child “should” do chores without being reminded and that, if they cannot, they will not be a functioning adult. Coming into a situation like this with the emotion of “ugh, they should know better by now!” can lead to an emotional upheaval. Instead, if you enter a situation with, “well, of course, they are not prioritizing these things they don’t want to do,” then you can interact with your child with a different emotion, in a more matter of fact way, in which you are better managing your emotions.

5. Stay in the moment

Rather than playing the tape out to the worst-case scenario, stay in the moment. Catch yourself if you’re constantly catastrophizing with thoughts like: “If they oversleep, they will miss class, fail out of school, and be living on the streets.”

Perhaps letting go isn’t actually letting go of anything related to your children at all. It’s letting go of your internal dialogues and fears. It’s letting go of your own expectations of what your role as a parent means.

In return for letting go, you may, in fact, end up with a deeper relationship with your children based on understanding, clarity, acceptance, and trust…which is really something worth hanging onto.

If you are the parents of a child in long-term therapeutic treatment or a wilderness program or you’re a professional working with families who could benefit from our services, please feel free to contact us at (970) 871-1231 or head here for a detailed list of services provided.

Warmly,

Hilary Moses, Jen Murphy and Jen Rapp Sheridan

Solutions Parenting Support

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