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How to Win Any Argument, Revised Edition: Without Raising Your Voice, Losing Your Cool, or Coming to Blows: Mayer, Robert: 9781601631817: Amazon.com: Books.In the second edition of this witty and infectious book, Madsen Pirie builds upon his guide to using – and indeed abusing – logic in order to win arguments.Intentionally lower your voice so your listener has to focus on your words. Come up with a mantra or phrase to keep yourself from going down a path of negative, defensive thoughts.
- Ask For What You Want. …
- Pick Your Battles: You Can’t Win Them All. …
- Use Simple And Emotional Words. …
- Don’t Argue With Children, Love Them For Who They Are. …
- Put Yourself in Their Shoes. …
- Avoid Sarcasm: Don’t Make Others Feel Inferior. …
- Focus on Informing Instead of Winning. …
- Take The Initiative.
- Keep your cool. Communication breaks down in any situation if you let your emotions take control. …
- Use facts and logic. …
- Appeal to their values. …
- Ask questions. …
- Listen and concede good points. …
- Aim for resolution, not victory.
Contents
How do you win all arguments in a book?
In the second edition of this witty and infectious book, Madsen Pirie builds upon his guide to using – and indeed abusing – logic in order to win arguments.
How do you win an argument summary?
- Ask For What You Want. …
- Pick Your Battles: You Can’t Win Them All. …
- Use Simple And Emotional Words. …
- Don’t Argue With Children, Love Them For Who They Are. …
- Put Yourself in Their Shoes. …
- Avoid Sarcasm: Don’t Make Others Feel Inferior. …
- Focus on Informing Instead of Winning. …
- Take The Initiative.
How do you argue without raising your voice?
Intentionally lower your voice so your listener has to focus on your words. Come up with a mantra or phrase to keep yourself from going down a path of negative, defensive thoughts.
How do you win an argument in Word?
- Keep your cool. Communication breaks down in any situation if you let your emotions take control. …
- Use facts and logic. …
- Appeal to their values. …
- Ask questions. …
- Listen and concede good points. …
- Aim for resolution, not victory.
How do you improve arguments?
- Keep it simple. …
- Be fair on your opponent. …
- Avoid other common fallacies. …
- Make your assumptions clear. …
- Rest your argument on solid foundations. …
- Use evidence your readers will believe. …
- Avoid platitudes and generalisations, and be specific. …
- Understand the opposing point of view.
How do you win an argument with a stubborn person?
- Take a moment. Pausing is a great tip for how to deal with stubborn people. …
- Talk to them. Speaking to them in a calm rational way is how to deal with stubborn people. …
- Be patient. …
- Empathize. …
- Resist getting into an argument. …
- Know that you can’t change them.
How do you win every argument the use of abuse?
In this witty and infectious book Madsen Pirie provides a complete guide to using – and indeed abusing – logic in order to win arguments. He identifies with devastating examples all the most common fallacies popularly used in argument.
How do you win an argument with a girl?
- Pick the right time and place. …
- Avoid getting sucked into the blame game. …
- Don’t get personal. …
- Listen. …
- Use logic, not volume. …
- If you overstep, apologise. …
- Learn to agree to disagree.
Is yelling OK in an argument?
Raising your voice is a natural mode of self-defense, but it can be misused. The short answer is that anything in excess is usually a bad thing; this appears to be true in the case of relationships that involve a heavy dosage of screaming or yelling.
Is it OK to yell when angry?
Is it normal or needs our attention? Shouting or yelling in anger is something everyone experiences in their lifetime. Some people do it regularly, but we are all guilty of it at some point in life. Most people shout because it is their coping mechanism when they are angry.
Why do I cry when someone yells at me?
What causes tears when we’re angry? The most immediate reason for angry tears is probably that you feel hurt, embarrassed, betrayed, or unjustly treated. When people experience injustice, rejection, or humiliation, the natural response includes both anger and sadness — often simultaneously.
How can I be confident in an argument?
- Be Confident AF. Even if you know you’re right, debating with someone can bring up some serious confidence issues. …
- Make Sure You Listen. …
- Keep Your Emotions In Check. …
- Respect Their Opinion (Or At Least Pretend To) …
- Stay On Topic. …
- Know That There Is A Resolution.
How do you argue like a lawyer?
- Identify The Issue And Don’t Deviate From It. Recognise the main point of discussion and stick with it. …
- Leave Emotion At The Door! Emotion will never win an argument. …
- Be Wary Of Shifting Dialogues.
How do you stop fighting in a relationship book?
- Fight Less, Love More. …
- Talk to Me Like I’m Someone You Love. …
- Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict.
How do you argue?
- Try to stay calm. Recognise the impact of your own emotions on how you communicate. …
- Don’t retaliate. …
- Listen actively and patiently. …
- Speak for yourself. …
- Speak clearly. …
- Try to see why their solution makes sense to them. …
- Apologise when you’re in the wrong. …
- Acknowledge their feelings.
How do you win an argument in Princeton?
How to Win an Argument gathers the rhetorical wisdom of Cicero, ancient Rome’s greatest orator, from across his works and combines it with passages from his legal and political speeches to show his powerful techniques in action.
How do you argue and win every time Wikihow?
Lead with evidence and avoid emotion.
The most effective way to win arguments is to build evidence-based cases using logic. This shows that you’re well-informed, prepared, and impartial. If you make emotional arguments that are about what you believe or feel, your opponent will quickly be able to come out on top.
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- Most searched keywords: Whether you are looking for Bloomsbury Collections – How to Win Every Argument – The Use and Abuse of LogicSecond Edition Updating In the second edition of this witty and infectious book, Madsen Pirie builds upon his guide to using – and indeed abusing – logic in order to win arguments. By including new chapters on how to win arguments in writing, in the pub, with a friend, on Facebook and in 140 characters (on Twitter), Pirie provides the complete guide to triumphing in altercations ranging from the everyday to the downright serious. He identifies with devastating examples all the most common fallacies popularly used in argument. We all like to think of ourselves as clear-headed and logical – but all readers will find in this book fallacies of which they themselves are guilty. The author shows you how to simultaneously strengthen your own thinking and identify the weaknesses in other people arguments. And, more mischievously, Pirie also shows how to be deliberately illogical – and get away with it. This bookHow to Win Every Argument, Philosophy, Philosophy of Law (Philosophy), Philosophy of Mathematics and Logic (Philosophy)
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How to Win Every ArgumentThe Use and Abuse of LogicSecond Edition
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How yelling can be a benefit
Thinking your way out of control
Bye-bye rational thought
Putting the brakes on an aggressive mouth
How to Win Any Argument & Keep Your Relationships Intact
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6 Tips to Keep in Mind During an Argument
Strengthen Your Argument Skills
How to Win Any Argument [Book]
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- Table of Contents:
How to Win Every Argument
Speak to Win How to Present with Power in Any Situation
The Tools of Argument How the Best Lawyers Think Argue and Win
How to Win Any Negotiation Without Raising Your Voice Losing Your Cool or Coming to Blows
The Power of Charm How to Win Anyone Over in Any Situation
The art of manipulation how to get what you want out of people in business in your personal life and in your love life
How Successful People Think Change Your Thinking Change Your Life
The 5 Second Rule Transform your Life Work and Confidence with Everyday Courage
Learning to “Think Like a Lawyer”
Boundaries When to Say Yes How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life
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How to Win Every ArgumentThe Use and Abuse of LogicSecond Edition
Book Summary Abstract
Table of Contents
Front matter
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The Use and Abuse of LogicSecond Edition
Abstract
In the second edition of this witty and infectious book, Madsen Pirie builds upon his guide to using – and indeed abusing – logic in order to win arguments. By including new chapters on how to win arguments in writing, in the pub, with a friend, on Facebook and in 140 characters (on Twitter), Pirie provides the complete guide to triumphing in altercations ranging from the everyday to the downright serious.
He identifies with devastating examples all the most common fallacies popularly used in argument. We all like to think of ourselves as clear-headed and logical – but all readers will find in this book fallacies of which they themselves are guilty. The author shows you how to simultaneously strengthen your own thinking and identify the weaknesses in other people arguments. And, more mischievously, Pirie also shows how to be deliberately illogical – and get away with it. This book will make you maddeningly smart: your family, friends and opponents will all wish that you had never read it.
Publisher’s warning: In the wrong hands this book is dangerous. We recommend that you arm yourself with it whilst keeping out of the hands of others. Only buy this book as a gift if you are sure that you can trust the recipient.
Want to Win an Argument? Science Says Stop Doing This 1 Thing
Things don’t always go smoothly in life, and when you encounter a bump, the temptation to yell at others can explode. Don’t do it–a raised voice is one of the biggest swords you can drive into the stomach of your own company or general goals! Here’s what makes yelling so destructive and self-sabotaging.
How yelling can be a benefit
From the evolutionary perspective, raising your voice is prewired in the limbic system and amygdala of the brain as part of the survival instinct. It’s a basic way of trying to assert dominance and handle a perceived threat. This is why people yell in fistfights or at the strange dog in the yard that’s freaking them out. When these types of situations arise, your fight-or-flight stress response engages and adrenaline rushes through your body as a protective mechanism to get you through.
Thinking your way out of control
But guess what. You can engage your limbic system with reasoning and evaluation as you respond to external events, too. This is what most people deal with in the office. For example, you might think to yourself, “How could John and Jane leave me to do all the work on this report by myself? They’re such rotten, stupid people!” Or maybe John or Jane says something offensive to you and you think “How dare they! They’ve got no right to talk to me that way!” You essentially work yourself up. The fight-or-flight response gets the green light and your defensive behaviors, including yelling, are all systems go.
And guess how the person you yell at reacts in their brain. Yep. You’re now a threat. Their limbic system engages, too, and they either freeze or start yelling right back.
Bye-bye, rational thought
Yelling would be bad enough if everything yelled were completely true and rational. But once the stress response engages, the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for executive functions like decision making and planning, starts to shut down. The emotion centers of the limbic system take over, and instead of really thinking critically, you’re driven by what you feel. Again, this is meant to protect you–you’d be toast if you thought through a charging lion. But in an everyday argument, it makes it incredibly difficult to really process what the other person is saying in an objective way. In essence, you stop being able to hear each other or come up with appropriate responses, and the hurt that comes with the yelling sticks as a deeper, more significant memory.
The icing on the unfortunate cupcake is that it takes at least 20 minutes for the chemicals released during the stress response–for example, cortisol–to leave the body. In a busy day, that means that arguments potentially can disrupt entire meetings or that there’s a delay in productivity. You have a relatively good chunk of time before you can talk calmly again in person, over the phone or through other technologies, and you’re at risk for saying and doing things you might regret later on.
Putting the brakes on an aggressive mouth
Given how all this works, it almost goes without saying that yelling doesn’t accomplish much and is ineffective as a form of employee discipline. To avoid falling into the yelling trap,
Mentally acknowledge how you are feeling because of what the other person has said or done, or because of your general circumstances (ever yell at someone who didn’t deserve it because they were just “there” and you needed to vent?).
because of what the other person has said or done, or because of your general circumstances (ever yell at someone who didn’t deserve it because they were just “there” and you needed to vent?). Verbally acknowledge that you see how the other person is feeling , providing validation and empathy.
, providing validation and empathy. Offer some warning before talking about potentially triggering issues where you can. For example, you might clarify in an email that you’d like to discuss some performance issues or a big change in policy before meeting about it.
where you can. For example, you might clarify in an email that you’d like to discuss some performance issues or a big change in policy before meeting about it. Schedule your most difficult discussions during parts of the day when you normally are energized and in a decent mood.
Intentionally lower your voice so your listener has to focus on your words.
so your listener has to focus on your words. Come up with a mantra or phrase to keep yourself from going down a path of negative, defensive thoughts. For instance, you might think, “My goal isn’t to fight, it’s to x”, “They’re trainees who still need my guidance,” or “Their yelling is a signal that they feel threatened, and it’s my job to show them I’m not a threat.”
For instance, you might think, “My goal isn’t to fight, it’s to x”, “They’re trainees who still need my guidance,” or “Their yelling is a signal that they feel threatened, and it’s my job to show them I’m not a threat.” Admit you’re emotionally hot and tell others you need a brief break before continuing. Be positive in your request to stop, such as “I know we can work this out if I have a minute to breathe and think.”
How to Win Any Argument & Keep Your Relationships Intact
I got a little frizzola that Elsa’s getting. I’m not sitting in the dark. The house lights are on. Everybody.
Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching Marie TV, the place to be to create a business and life you love. And today I want to teach you two magical words that can help you win any argument fast. Now, when I say win, I don’t mean win in the traditional sense where someone else admits defeat and they give you what you want. I mean win in the real sense, where you and the person that you have a conflict with get things kind of neutralized and you find a sense of peace and resolution and mutual respect.
Now, whether it’s your spouse who you actually love or some random clown biscuit online, most of us have to deal with confrontation from time to time, so we might as well get good at it. Now, our natural instincts, or at least mine, because I’m from Jersey, are to get defensive and retaliate and make the other person look like a moron. Basically, tear them a new butt hole the size of the Holland Tunnel. Now, as great as that may feel in the moment, it is clearly not the best way to handle things. So what are those two magical words?
Free donuts?
Who farted?
Peter Dinklage?
Unconscious coupling?
Neil Patrick Harris?
That’s three words. No, the two magical words are, “You’re right.” Responding to any confrontation with the words, “You’re right,” is instantly disarming. I mean, it immediately turns down the heat almost on a cellular level. And you can test this out with a friend right now and you don’t even need a conflict. Just have your friends say to you, “You’re right,” and notice how it feels. Right? Told you.
Now, in a real conflict, this requires you to step into another person’s shoes and see things from their point-of-view, and then you have to genuinely find a way to agree with what they’re experiencing or what they’re feeling. And let’s face it, in 99% of conflicts, both people are right from their respective perspectives. Now, I know this is hard to admit. Sometimes it’s hard to find this place of seeing where they’re right in the heat of the moment, but the faster we can get there, the less stress we’ll have, the less conflict we’ll have and the more connection we’ll have.
Now, you may be saying yourself, “That sounds great, Marie, but what if I don’t actually agree and what if I want to get my point across too?” Here’s what you do. You say, “You’re right. I see exactly how you feel that way. It is upsetting, frustrating, annoying,” fill in the blank. Then, take a moment and add on with something neutral, like, “Another perspective to consider is this,” or, “Another way to look at the situation is this,” or, “I’d love to share what I’m feeling from my point-of-view.” Yes, this takes some finessing and practice, but OMG, is it worth it. So the next time get into it with somebody, remember these two powerful words and this tweetable. “Saying you’re right doesn’t mean you’re wrong.”
Now, I would love to hear from you. None of us like conflict, but it does come up from time to time. Do you have another approach that helps you diffuse tension? As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com, so go there and leave a comment now.
Did you like this video? If so, subscribe to my channel and share it with all of your friends, and if you want even more great advice to create a business and life that you love, plus some personal insights from me that I only talk about in email, get yourself over to MarieForleo.com and sign up for email updates.
Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on Marie TV.
Ba da bum, ba da bum, ba da bum, ba da bum, ba da bum bum bum. Absolutely fantastic. Two. Oh, that’s a weird sign, isn’t it? No, that’s a weird sign. Let me do it again.
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