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The *Ultimate* Guide to Non-Physical BDSM Punishments | Ms. Elle X
The *Ultimate* Guide to Non-Physical BDSM Punishments | Ms. Elle X


23 BDSM Punishment Ideas to Discipline Your Submissive

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23 BDSM Punishment Ideas to Discipline Your Submissive
23 BDSM Punishment Ideas to Discipline Your Submissive

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16 BDSM Punishments for Effective Behavior Training

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  • Table of Contents:

How Do BDSM Punishments Work

The Punishment Should Fit the Crime

Know Your Sub’s Limits

Quick Quiz Do You Give Good Blow Jobs

No Surprise Discipline

Aftercare

Ideas For BDSM Punishment

Is Ignoring a Good Punishment

What If My Submissive Loves Spanking

Have Your Sub Come Up With the Punishment

Your Role In BDSM Punishment

This is going to sound a little crazy but

16 BDSM Punishments for Effective Behavior Training
16 BDSM Punishments for Effective Behavior Training

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72 BDSM Punishment Ideas For Submissives (Sexual & Kinky)

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  • Table of Contents:

Restraint Punishments

Denial Punishments

Orgasm Control Punishments

Public Punishments

PainfulUnpleasant Punishments

Humiliating Punishments

Tame Punishments

Mental Torture Punishments

Boring Punishments

Kinky Punishments

Sexual Punishments

Conclusion

72 BDSM Punishment Ideas For Submissives (Sexual & Kinky)
72 BDSM Punishment Ideas For Submissives (Sexual & Kinky)

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Submissive Discipline – 45 BDSM Punishment Ideas – LOVENSE BLOG

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Submissive Discipline - 45 BDSM Punishment Ideas - LOVENSE BLOG
Submissive Discipline – 45 BDSM Punishment Ideas – LOVENSE BLOG

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What Are BDSM Punishments?

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Explore

BDSM punishments can be as fun or as serious as you want them to be

What Are BDSM Punishments?
What Are BDSM Punishments?

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BDSM-punishments | mystim.de

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BDSM-punishments From figging to human furniture

BDSM Penalties – Why actually

The most popular punishments – for her and for him

Punishments for the female slave

SM punishment for men

Important basic rules for BDSM penalties

BDSM-punishments | mystim.de
BDSM-punishments | mystim.de

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BDSM-punishments | mystim.de

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BDSM-punishments From figging to human furniture

BDSM Penalties – Why actually

The most popular punishments – for her and for him

Punishments for the female slave

SM punishment for men

Important basic rules for BDSM penalties

BDSM-punishments | mystim.de
BDSM-punishments | mystim.de

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23 BDSM Punishment Ideas to Discipline Your Submissive

When you hear the word “punishment,” sex probably isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. But in BDSM—an umbrella term that encompasses bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism, and masochism—punishment can be a major component of sex. And a pleasurable one, at that.

“Punishment is a behavior modification tool used in some [dominant/submissive] dynamics to train or discipline a submissive when they’ve defied a boundary or disobeyed an order,” explains Charyn Pfeuffer, a sex and relationships writer and author of 101 Ways to Rock Online Dating. “There’s no one-size-fits-all playbook for punishment, and not every kinky relationship uses it.”

Every couple is free to determine the type and severity of punishments they want to use—and the options are essentially endless. For example, if the submissive partner is a “brat” (a sub who enjoys disobeying their dom’s rules), a dom might give you a spanking as a punishment for being naughty.

“Punishment can include spankings, slapping, choking, use of restraints, or (consensually) forcing your partner into sexual acts,” says Daniel Saynt, founder and chief conspirator of The New Society for Wellness , a private members Open Love club for the adventurous. “It’s really up to you and your partner to set the limits of what’s okay for punishment and what’s not.”

Like with most deliciously kinky things, punishment is not just about pain, but also pleasure. It’s a dance between the dom and sub that allows them to explore sides of themselves they may not get a chance to express in real life.

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“Sexual punishment is when you know there is a part of you that is under-expressed, maybe from shame or fear,” says Kenneth Play , international sex educator and and creator of the Sex Hacker Pro Series . “So, if you feel like you’re being a dirty slut, being punished by your partner allows you to live out that feeling, while also enjoying your ‘dirty slut’ side.”

IMPORTANT: Before you engage in any BDSM punishments, you and your partner must thoroughly discuss your boundaries and limits beforehand. Despite the connotation of punishing someone, the activity still requires enthusiastic consent from all parties; the punished wants to be punished, and the punisher wants to punish.

Here are 23 ideas for consensual BDSM punishments:

This is where you bring someone to the brink of orgasm, only to stop touching them right before orgasm. Oh, the sweet agony.

Put them over your knee and show them what happens to naughty people who break the rules. Just remember to aim for the fleshy parts of the body, such as the butt cheeks and upper thighs.

Or, you could deny them a spanking. “Sometimes a submissive will ‘act out’ to get the punishment that they really enjoy,” says Taylor Sparks, erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven , the largest BIPOC-owned online intimacy shop. “One way to punish them is to NOT give them what they enjoy.”

3. Forced silence.

Force your sub to agree to keep their pretty little mouth shut. You can go a step further by not allowing your submissive to speak while in a public place without asking permission first.

4. Denying your sub an event they’re looking forward to

This would be cruel outside of a consenting dom/sub dynamic, but hot as hell if both parties are into it. “[This entails] getting your submissive dressed up for an event that they really enjoy, but upon arrival making them sit outside on the ground with their hands in their lap and not allow them to come into the event for a specific amount of time,” Sparks says.

5. Walk your sub like a puppy

Make your submissive walk on all fours with a collar and a leash like a dog. You can incorporate a dog mask designed for kink, like this one , and even take the act outside for the public humiliation factor.

6. Have them wear their “slut” status on their clothes

This is a form of public degradation: You make your submissive wear a shirt that literally says “slut” on it.

7. Chain the naughty sub up

“Chain your partner to the bed and leave them there to wait for your return,” Saynt says. “Leave your home and decide how long you want to make them wait for you. Come back to them begging you to set them free.” Oh, the fun that can ensue afterward!

8. Forced orgasm

This is when you “make” your partner “take” the pleasure, even if it feels like over-stimulation. “Force your partner to have orgasms until they are completely overwhelmed—then keep going,” Play says.

9. Cuckolding

This is when the dom has sex with someone else and forces the sub to watch. Cuckolding is a more advanced activity, and we suggest doing your research before bringing a new person into the bedroom. For a slightly tamer version, the dominant partner can make the submissive watch them get off with a toy.

10. Hold out on them

“Refuse to let your partner pleasure you and make them beg for a taste,” Saynt suggests. “Come within a few inches of their mouth, watch their tongue slip out and get just close enough but not quite there. Make your body their prize and make the longing for it the punishment.”

11. Grab the ice

“Grab ice cubes and use them to run along your partner’s body while they are restrained,” Saynt says. “Use the ice to stimulate their body and offer a chilling experience.” This can go really well with a blindfold—that way the sub’s other senses, including touch, are heightened.

12. Make them do the chores

“What chore(s) does your sub hate doing? Make them do it—meticulously,” Pfeuffer suggests. What better excuse to not have to do the dishes tonight?

13. Make them eat on the floor

If your sub is naughty, take away their table privileges and force them to eat off the floor like a dog.

14. Use them as human furniture

Tell your sub to get on all fours and act as a stool for you to rest your feet. Dive into a good book and force them to stay still until you’re good and ready to let them get up.

15. Give them a time-out

Is your sub being a little brat? “Put your submissive in the corner for a time-out,” Pfeuffer says. “Being ‘grounded’ for a little while can be incredibly effective” in getting them to follow your rules next time.

16. Wax-play

Dribble hot wax on a naughty sub’s body. Be sure you’re using a body-safe candle (like these from LoveHoney ), unless you really know what you’re doing. You don’t want to cause burns.

17. Dictate their ability to masturbate

“Only allow your sub to pleasure themselves with your permission,” Pfeuffer says. “If rules are broken, that permission is revoked.” This means you hold the power over whether they experience pleasure or not; their pleasure is a gift you’re allowing them to enjoy in return for good behavior.

18. Have them run errands while wearing vibrating panties

Have your sub go to the grocery store, the dry cleaners, or some other ordinary place while wearing a panty vibrator. You can accompany them, if you choose. We love the We-Vibe Moxie , which comes with its own remote for the dom to control.

19. Make them wear the shame

If your sub breaks the rules, write what they did wrong on their body in permanent marker. Make them wear it around all day so they don’t forget how naughty they were.

20. Golden shower

Have your sub sit in the shower or bathtub and pee on them. This kind of humiliation play can get messy, so you might want to do it in the nude.

21. Take away something they like

This is a form of “restrictive discipline,” much like giving your sub a “time out” in the corner. If they break the rules, take away something they enjoy as punishment. This could be access to the show they want to watch, their cell phone, or even an orgasm.

22. Writing lines

This one is taken right out of the old Catholic school playbook. If your sub does something they’re not supposed to, have them write out what they did a hundred times as punishment.

23. Collar them

Have your sub wear a collar around. This shows them that they belong to you and you are in control. If you want ideas, we love this one .

Gigi Engle Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator.

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16 BDSM Punishments for Effective Behavior Training

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Training is an element that some couples incorporate into their BDSM relationships. Punishment is used to correct unwanted behavior, and some dominants strive to find the perfect punishment. The following BDSM punishment ideas and advice will help you find what works for you and your relationship.

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How Do BDSM Punishments Work?

An important element of many D/s relationships is discipline (discover how to have a functional D/s relationship). What’s another word for discipline? Punishment!

BDSM punishments are a way to help a dominant train their submissive. For the rest of this article, we’ll discuss punishments as if you are the dominant, but you can show this page to your dominant if he is looking for new, cruel and unusual ways to punish you.

Learn how to be more dominant in the bedroom.

Whenever your submissive does something wrong, you punish him to teach a lesson. On the other hand, you provide encouragement and reward for those things that he does right. It means he understands the rules and your expectations – and he provides the right amount of attention to detail when performing those tasks.

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Related: 8 Vital BDSM Rules

These submissive tasks and their corresponding punishments might be outlined in your BDSM contract (discover more in this post on BDSM contracts), or they may be more informal. You devise them as the need arises and as you see fit. But if your sub/slave hasn’t agreed to punishment, then you can’t suddenly start punishing him.

Just because you’re in a BDSM relationship doesn’t mean you have to incorporate BDSM punishments. You might not have a training or service relationship at all, instead focusing more on sensation, sadomasochism, or bondage over discipline. Or you might be intent on training your submissive with a focus in positive reinforcement versus negative (punishment).

Psst, does this sound a little too advanced for you? Check out BDSM for Beginners.

The Punishment Should Fit the Crime

Now, there is no actual crime. There might be a bad attitude, a broken rule or some other infraction. But whatever you choose for discipline must be more or less equal to the infraction. A minor mistake, therefore, might warrant a timeout.

You should save harsher BDSM punishments for worse – or repeated – infractions. It’s just like parenting. Consider this: use the least painful punishment to get the message across.

If you have trouble matching the discipline to the error, you might be disciplining your submissive in anger. Again, it’s similar to parenting. Anger can lead to making poor decisions regarding the BDSM punishments you give. It’s often helpful to take a breather to determine what punishment fits the crime and to ensure you’re not overdoing the punishment when it comes time to give it out.

Punishment should never be given when you’re angry because it’s all too easy to be too intense and potentially hurt your sub. You don’t want to go past what your sub can handle, which brings us to our next point.

Know Your Sub’s Limits

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BDSM punishments must be practical and possible to complete. You don’t want to assign something that you know your submissive won’t be able to do. Failure is not your objective with BDSM discipline.

You can’t expect someone with arthritis or an injury to hold themselves in place for a prolonged period. Even though this might be a good form of BDSM discipline for an able-bodied person, a slip or fall could lead to further injury.

Furthermore, avoid punishments that could be potentially dangerous, including those that dehydrate someone or cut off their circulation. If your submissive is trying to please you by following instructions, he might not let you know that he cannot perform a certain task to your expectations. It’s up to you to know what he can do safely.

Pay attention to any signs of distress. Stop or adjust the punishment before it becomes a problem.

Similarly, punishments shouldn’t be hard limits. We mentioned a cane above, but if your submissive is terrified of caning, then it’s not a good tool to use – even as a BDSM punishment. If you push a hard limit, you’re violating trust. You might very well hurt someone you’re supposed to care about.

Related: 11 Gentle Femdom Ideas For Loving BDSM

It’s also important to know your own limits. Some people struggling with dishing out discipline because it feels wrong. You can work through this if you choose to because you know you’re trying to teach a lesson and ultimately

what’s best for your partner.

No Surprise Discipline

By now, you’ve realized that punishment in BDSM is purposeful and thought out. Surprise punishments are out of the question. Why? Your submissive might not even know what he did wrong.

You should give him the opportunity to explain his mistake. This can even be a bit of delicious torment for him as he tries to figure it out. Sometimes he will, and others he won’t. When he’s able to guess, you can have him suggest what an appropriate punishment might be.

If he can’t figure out what his error was, you’ll need to tell him. This is an opportunity to go over expectations. When you’re disciplining, he’ll know exactly why and that the punishment is warranted and fair.

Surprise punishment can be confusing and hurtful, not to mention damaging for the trust that you two share.

Of course, timing does matter, so you don’t want to wait too long to exact punishment. Otherwise, your partner might think he’s escaped punishment or the lesson might not be impactful had you disciplined him sooner.

Finally, once punishment is done, it’s done. The two of you have agreed to X punishment for Y error. You complete punishment and give a lesson; then you move on. There’s no room in any relationship to keep rehashing old arguments or do what is keeping score, where you bring up infractions from your partner in the past. This is true for any romantic relationship, not just BDSM relationships.

Also keep in mind how punishing a submissive brat may be need to be done differently when compared to a different kind of submissive.

Aftercare

We’ve discussed aftercare before. It includes all the activities that help to keep a submissive mentally, emotionally, and physically cared for after a scene. and is an important component of how to do BDSM. If your punishment is a physical one (although, it might not be as you’ll see in just a few!), then your sub might need aftercare.

Aftercare can include balm or ointment for spanking and other impact play, a warm blanket, a cool drink that contains electrolytes and cuddling. To learn more, read this post about aftercare.

Ideas For BDSM Punishment

Now, we can start brainstorming BDSM punishments.

Physical punishment includes any spanking, paddling, caning, or another impact tool. If you don’t have a tool, you can use your hand to spank or slap your submissive. An effective way to discipline includes having your submissive count out the spankings (find more BDSM games like this one), which becomes difficult as you increase the intensity. Learn more on how to spank your husband. Bondage forms of discipline work well. For example, keep someone tied while kneeling, or you can have them perch with a book on his head or hold a ping pong ball between the wall and his nose (or 10 pennies against the wall, one for each finger or thumb). A cage takes physical bondage to the extreme. Try mental bondage, which requires your sub to stay in the same place for a specified amount of time. Breaking from the position could warrant another punishment (as long as it’s something he should be able to do). Kneeling is a form of punishment that is particularly common among kinksters. Instruct him to kneel at your feet or in the corner; it will be uncomfortable but does no lasting damage, so it makes a good form of discipline when your slave has broken the rules. Kneeling on uncooked rice will really test his reserves. Restrictive discipline means you take something away that they like. It could be as simple as grounding or removing phone/TV privileges or even forbidding him to eat his favorite food. Not being able to sleep in the same room as you, use furniture, make eye contact or walk upright are other restrictions to consider. Once your sub has shown he is properly remorseful, he can go back to his phone. Orgasm control (chastity belts work well to this end) is a specific type of restrictive punishment. Your submissive is only allowed to touch themselves and orgasm with your permission. And you revoke that permission when rules are broken. Alternatively, you can consider forcing orgasms past the point of comfort. Learn more about orgasm denial. A particular type of orgasm control is known as a ruined orgasm, and it makes an excellent punishment. Some dominants take a cue from old-fashioned schoolmarms. A lecture might accompany another punishment, or it might be the only discipline that’s needed. There may be no more fitting punishment than requiring your slave to write “I will not do [forbidden action]” 100 times. Think of Bart Simpson writing on the blackboard in the classroom as the beginning credits roll. Alternatively, you might want to have your submissive write the rule, which helps to cement it in his head. Another option is to have him write the reasons why doing something such as being late is a problem. What chore does your sub hate doing? Perhaps doing the dishes or scrubbing the toilet? What better way to punish them, then! Make it difficult by binding part of their body. Errand running is another option, too, and you can up the ante by forcing him to wear a certain thing (a thong beneath his clothing or a butt plug), for example, while he does those things. Assign a chore that’s pointless, such as moving pieces of rice from one pile to another or refolding towels. For slaves who wear collars, forbidding them from wearing it for a period of time can be incredibly effective. What normally acts as a reminder of your bond, and one that he can touch, is removed until you deem it appropriate for him to put it back on. BDSM relationships that already employ speech rules (the sub addressing the dominant in a certain way or only speaking when spoken to), then revoking permission to speak is an effective punishment. Public discipline has the added benefit of humiliation when there is an audience. It can be as simple as a public apology from the slave or physical punishment. Wearing a sign that states the mistake in a public forum can cause humiliation. Other forms of degradation and BDSM humiliation can include announcing when they’re horny, masturbating in public, acting as a piece of furniture, having insults written on their body, walking around with cum in their underwear, dressing in clothing of the opposite sex, or eating from a pet’s dish on the floor. Have your sub call another respected dominant to suggest a punishment. Play the slave’s least favorite song, the weather channel, or a talk radio show he doesn’t like can accompany other tasks. If tardiness is the issue, having your submissive carry an oversized clock.

Learn: What does dom and sub mean.

Is Ignoring a Good Punishment?

For some types of doms, they like using timeouts as a BDSM punishment. An extension of this is ignoring them, which is certainly a punishment. But some people view it as a hard limit. It can lead to insecurity and broken trust. Used incorrectly ignoring someone might also be viewed as emotionally abusive.

What If My Submissive Loves Spanking?

Obviously, many participants in BDSM enjoy activities that others might be turned off by. So you can’t simply spank those submissive types who love spanking as a form of punishment (although, it certainly makes a good reward). There are those who advise against using any impact play as a form of BDSM punishment if impact play also serves as an erotic activity. That’s certainly one way to go about it.

Related: Erotic Spanking

But you can also look for the type of impact play that they don’t like to use as a form of punishment. For example, your sub might like spanking or paddles but hate the cane. Thus, caning is a better idea for a BDSM punishment. And since caning is an extreme form, it shouldn’t take much to get him in line!

Of course, you shouldn’t opt for the most intense type of play as punishment just because it’ll make an impact (see above about the punishment fitting the crime). It will, but it could also have negative side effects. It’s up to the dominant to know what her submissive can handle when meting out punishment.

While some punishments work well for slaves, you’ve got to cater the way you punish. Making someone serve you who normally loves serving isn’t much of a punishment, but not allowing service might be torture.

Whether you’re dominant or submissive, you can get to know you’re your BDSM personality with this quiz.

Have Your Sub Come Up With the Punishment

BDSM punishments don’t have to come from you. You can have your sub come up with a list of BDSM punishment ideas that are suitable for the offense. There’s a special delight to be had when you mete out a punishment that your submissive has suggested as appropriate. Note that a sassy submissive might try to get by with a punishment that’s not particularly difficult, which means you’ll need to up the ante.

Go one step further by having your slave ask for his punishment.

Your Role In BDSM Punishment

Many forms of BDSM punishment require that you pay attention. Otherwise, how will you truly know if your submissive is remorseful, learning a lesson or just plain doing what you said? Remain in the same room if at all possible. If you assign a form of punishment that takes a long time, it’s time you’ll need to sacrifice to see it done. So keep that in mind when coming up with punishment ideas.

If you see your slave mess up, you can correct him. You might even force him to start his repentance all over again if you feel like it’s fair. This is especially true if he has made an error because he wasn’t paying attention. This means he’s not concentrating on his punishment and doesn’t take it seriously, so you may need to assign a new punishment.

However, if you see that your slave is unable to complete what you asked of him, then you may need to adjust it. You’ll only know this is if you’re paying attention. Look for changes in skin color or breathing. You might have assigned punishment, but being a dominant is also about taking care of your submissive.

Ultimately, BDSM punishments show you care by helping your submissive grow and remain accountable. You can be as creative and devious as you’d like, but thoughtfulness must extend to the realm of safety, too.

72 BDSM Punishment Ideas For Submissives (Sexual & Kinky)

For doms with subs who need a great deal of discipline, this BDSM punishment list has it all.

BDSM relationships always have certain rules in place. But when the submissive breaks one of the rules, there must be consequences.

Let me help you get your sub to behave, by supplying 72 BDSM punishment ideas for submissives who need to learn their lesson.

There’s a mix of punishments that are pleasurable for the dom, productive, and some meaningless tasks that are utterly pointless! But that’s what makes them such a punishment.

Restraint Punishments

This is a more simple form of punishment. Restraint can be fun for the dom while being highly inconvenient for the sub.

1. Bondage

I’m sure you’re no stranger to bondage, so break out the handcuffs or ropes and tie up your sub during:

Meals – they’ll have to eat like an animal if they don’t already.

Sex – you control all the pleasure.

Chores – there are no benefits, it’ll just make chores harder as a punishment.

2. Holding Objects

If you want a more annoying form of bondage discipline, get creative. Have the sub:

Hold a book on their head.

Keep a ping pong ball from falling, held between their nose and the wall.

Holding one coin for each finger, against a wall.

Keeping their finger over a leak in a bottle or glass.

There are many options with this – use your imagination.

Your Sub is restrained from moving and if the objects fall or the glass leaks, it’s time for a harsher punishment.

3. Collar and Lead

Put them in a collar and attach a lead and make them follow you everywhere. Tie their lead to something when you need to go out or do something private.

If you want this to fit in the humiliation category, make them crawl like an animal instead of walk.

Denial Punishments

1. Favorite Hobby

Games, reading, masturbation, or even watching TV. Deny your sub the right to engage in their favorite hobby for however many hours, days, or weeks you choose.

2. Technology

Take away their phone, computer, or anything of similar value.

Or, take away their charger. Watch them start to use their phone or laptop less and less as the battery dies.

3. Accessories

Does your sub wear a collar they love? Take it away. Or take away their lucky bracelet or ring or something similar.

However, be careful when taking away rings or collars. It’s not fair to take away a wedding band. And in some couples, a collar is likea wedding band so treat that with the same restraint.

4. Waking Hours

Send your sub to bed early, possibly without food first.

5. Clothes

No clothes are allowed at home for as long as you decide. If you need to go into the public, limited clothing is allowed – but perhaps with one of these rules:

The sub has to stay in the car, with the windows open.

No underwear allowed.

Sub has to wear lingerie and revealing clothing, even if it’s a man.

6. Speech

Disallow speaking. If you’re feeling generous, create a signal so your sub can ask for permission to speak.

7. Attention

Completely ignore your sub. Tell them they’re not allowed to come and visit if you don’t live together. Add extra punishments for every text and call they make to you.

8. Food

Make them last a little fast for a day. This won’t hurt them or make them ill but will be uncomfortable and annoying.

9. Sleep

Denying sleep can be dangerous, so do this in moderation.

So you don’t have to stay awake too, set up a camera. If the sub plugs out the camera, they’re punished. If the camera catches them sleeping, they’re punished too.

Orgasm Control Punishments

1. Chastity

Try a cock cage or chastity belt. Make sure you learn about chastity 101 and know how to wear the cock-cage safely.

Oh, and you can top it off by getting him to wear Crotch Rocket Strapon – he will be still with the cock cage, but can still please you 😉

2. Edging

Edging is one of many excellent femdom punishments. Bring him to the brink of orgasm, then walk away and put him in handcuffs so he can’t touch himself. Come back and keep repeating the process.

But edging for women exists too, it’s just not quite as well-known. The easiest way to do it is through stimulating the clitoris but using a toy to hit her G-spot works too.

Try not to do both at the same time though, it may be harder to stop in time for her to be left on the edge.

3. Forced Orgasms

Women are no stranger to multiple orgasms, so this doesn’t work for them very well. But men need time between sessions to reload and regain energy. And eventually, orgasms become painful – and possibly dry.

Keeping up sexual encounters until your man is dry is the perfect treat for you, and punishment for him.

Public Punishments

Let me preface this by saying that you should never expose the public to any kink, fetish, or even Vanilla sexual play. Only do these punishments if you’re certain you can be discreet.

1. Long-Distance Sex Toys

There are lots of Bluetooth and internet controlled long-distance sex toys available today. Some are small and discrete and can be worn in public.

Put one on your sub and make them wear it on a date. Control the intensity with your phone.

If your sub makes even a tiny noise, the punishment gets worse at home – one idea is to leave them without orgasm after hours of toy-play.

Or put a toy on your sub, stay home, and make them do errands. Reward them by finally bringing them to the climax when they come home.

2. No Clothes in Public

Send your sub on an errand wearing just a long coat, or long coat and pants.

This punishment doubles as a productive activity, so it’s extra impactful if it’s an errand for you, not one of their own.

3. Ben-Wa Balls

Ben-Wa balls aren’t as much fun for doms as are controllable sex toys, so they’re not great for the date-night scenario. But making your spouse wear them during an errand can be uncomfortable and embarrassing.

Ben-Wa balls are vaginal exercise weights, usually used for Kegels. For the untrained user, they can be hard to hold in.

For male subs, use a weighted butt plug with too much lube instead.

4. Silly Costume

Make your sub wear something silly in public. Have them wear a costume from a movie, paint their face like a cat or wear ridiculous, knee-high rainbow socks. Whatever you want!

Don’t go overboard with this – you don’t want to humiliate them. You want to make them look slightly unusual.

You can put them in humiliating clothes… but that’s a thought for a different category.

Painful/Unpleasant Punishments

1. Ice Bath

Fill a bath with cold water and ice and make your sub spend a few minutes in it. For a more tame BDSM punishment, a cold shower works too.

2. Spanking/Whipping

If your sub doesn’t enjoy spanking or whipping, then it’s an appropriate punishment – so long as you agreed on that flogger being used sometimes.

Pick how many hits and get beating. You could pair this with other punishments like being bound, or not allowed to speak.

3. Pinching

Pinch your sub, or use clothespins/pegs. Perhaps on the nipples, or skin of the scrotum. Putting them on the nose, lips, ears, or loose body skin works too.

4. Cold Dildo/Butt Plug

Get a glass or stainless steel dildo or butt plug. Soak it in icy water, then use it on the sub. Avoid putting ice inside your sub, as this can cause burns.

5. Wax

Wax your partner’s body hair. The genitals and anus will be especially painful.

Use a variety of waxes and see which hurts more. Pre-made wax strips can often be much more intense than melting and applying the wax yourself, but it depends on the brand.

Be careful not to make the sub bleed, though (unless you’re into that), and use extra caution around sensitive parts.

If you don’t feel you can wax the sub without damaging them, schedule an appointment with a professional.

6. Soap Gag

Gag your sub using a bar of soap, taped/tied into the mouth.

Before you take the soap out, add some water to make it foam and taste worse. Make sure the sub doesn’t accidentally swallow – keep a glass of water for rinsing the soap out nearby.

7. Ball Gag

Find the largest, most uncomfortable ball gag you can. Force it on your sub for a few hours.

Make sure to give them 5-10 minute breaks to relax/flex their jaw every hour, to prevent lockjaw or spasms.

8. Open Mouth Gag

Keep your partner quiet, but open-mouthed with an open mouth gag. Use their open mouth to feed them unpleasant food, or semen, or just use it as a hole you can fuck.

9. Holding Urine

Make your partner drink tons of diuretics (coffee, tea, soda), and don’t let them use the bathroom for an hour or two.

Adjust this time to make it fairer on your partner if you need to – or less fair, if you want the punishment to be severe.

10. Weights

Add weights to any genital or nipple piercings your sub has. Be careful they’re not too heavy, or they’ll rip the piercing out.

11. Step On Painful Surface

Have your sub step or walk over a painful surface. Here are some painful things to walk on:

Seashells and sharp pebbles.

Uncooked fusilli, gemelli, rotini or cavatappi pasta.

Broken eggshells.

Legos.

Hard hairbrush spikes.

UK-style plugs, prongs up.

12. Kneel On Rice

Kneeling on uncooked rice is painful and annoying. Bonus punishment: cleaning up the rice.

Humiliating Punishments

Humiliation punishments often crossover with public punishments. But you can do these BDSM punishments out in the open, or with other BDSM couples visiting.

Again, be sure you cover any suspicious behavior with an excuse so you avoid involving the public in your kink.

1. Public Masturbation

Force your sub to masturbate in public, but somewhere nobody can tell. A movie theatre works.

Or, have willing-to-watch guests come and watch at home.

2. Temporary Tattoos

Give your sub temporary tattoos. This could be an embarrassing face tattoo of a naked person, or insults scrawled in sharpie.

“Cum Slut,” “Ass Eater” and “Cock Chomper” are some humiliating phrases you could put on their forehead.

3. Go Nude

If your sub is not into being nude in public, take them to a nudist beach or gym. Force them to go without clothes.

Be careful to blend in – don’t reveal this is a punishment, pretend the sub is just a naturalist, and only do this around other naturalists.

4. Wet Pants

Make it look like your sub wet their pants by splashing their genital area, or pouring a glass of water down their pants. Make sure they’re wearing clothes you can easily see wet spots on.

To make it worse, walk around in public berating them for what they’ve done.

5. Orgasm Alerts

Record your sub having an orgasm. Use this as their ringtone and call their phone in front of other doms/subs, at a fetish club or at a sex party.

6. Human Furniture

Use the sub as a footrest or chair in public – if anyone asks questions, tell your sub to laugh and say they lost a bet.

Or do this only in fetish clubs instead.

7. Public Scolding

Act like the sub is a badly behaved child, and publicly scold them for their rule-breaking.

8. Pet Dish

Make the sub eat from a pet dish. Bring one to a restaurant, and transfer their food to it. Avoid fancy/expensive restaurants so you don’t get kicked out – fast food places are best.

Or if your sub usually eats from pet dishes at home,make them use a plate. Tell people the sub usually eats from a pet dish. Invite them to watch the sub use real crockery.

9. Cum Dumpster

Make your sub walk around in cum-soaked underwear all day. Or, climax in their butt, place a butt plug, and make them spend the day like that.

10. Cross-dressing

Make your male sub dress in your clothes all day. Go for a walk around your neighborhood, or venture out somewhere more public. And take lots of pictures.

11. Showcase Spanking

Spank your female sub until she’ll be red for a while. Go to the beach with her in a revealing bikini.

Or spank him and take him out in a bikini…

12. Naked By A Window

Tie your sub up, legs spread and high, naked. Place them near a window.

Try to do it with an upstairs window, so it’s not blatantly obvious but it’s still visible. If it’s a downstairs window, place the sub in full view but on the other side of the room.

13. Tongue Cleaning

Make the sub clean the kitchen or bathroom with their tongue. Give them a toothbrush for scrubbing stains. Invite consenting guests over to watch, or film it.

Tame Punishments

1. Naked Footrest

Use your sub as a naked footrest while you watch TV or read.

2. Naked Server

Have your sub serve you dinner in the nude.

3. Writing Lines

Have the sub write “I must not (broken rule)” 200 times, or until their hand aches too much to continue.

4. Cancel a Date

If your sub was excited for an outing or a sexual, kinky, or romantic date, cancel it until they learn to behave.

5. Unpleasant Food

Cook your sub something unpleasant and make them eat all of it. Don’t go over-the-top, just make it something they dislike.

If you want to make it more unpleasant, make the sub do the cooking.

6. Melting Ice Cubes

Put your sub in two pairs of full-back underwear, then fill the outer pair with ice cubes. Make sure the cubes slightly melted, not fresh out of the freezer, or they may burn the skin.

Wait for the ice to melt before letting the sub change.

Mental Torture Punishments

1. Sensory Deprivation

Depriving someone of their eyesight and/or hearing can be a very uncomfortable experience. Try a blindfold and earplugs/headphones.

2. Isolation

Lock your sub in a small room, like a closet, alone for a few hours. Just make sure they don’t have issues with confined spaces first.

3. Bad Entertainment

Does your sub hate a particular song, genre, TV show, movie, or podcast? Play it. Loudly.

To make things worse, have your sub perform an unpleasant task while it’s on. Maybe chores, or maybe make them do something difficult/pointless.

Perhaps they should learn to fix cars, code websites, or stack cups.

Boring Punishments

1. Counting Coins

Do you save spare change? Make your sub count it.

2. Moving Rice

Have the sub move rice from one pile to another, then into a pot or bag. One grain at a time.

3. Organization

Do you want to color-code your sock drawer? Create a new organization system for the kitchen? Make your sub do it.

4. Mental Bondage

Make the sub stand somewhere as if bound. Don’t provide any entertainment. Don’t let them move for a few hours.

5. Terms and Conditions

Find software like iTunes. Make the sub read the terms and conditions, making notes/summaries of it.

6. Cutting Grass

Make the sub cut the front lawn with scissors, to a specific height.

Kinky Punishments

1. Rimming

Rimming is becoming more popular these days, so it’s not as kinky as it used to be. But forcing your sub to rim you, or another dom is pleasureful and naughty.

2. Foot Licking

Make your sub lick your feet clean. Step in something they don’t like first to make it worse – for example, ketchup if they hate it.

3. Golden Shower

Is one of you into golden showers, and the other isn’t? Force the sub to have one if they don’t like it. If they prefer to receive and not give, force them to give you a golden shower.

If they’re the receiver and don’t like the golden shower, don’t let them clean up if you want to be harsher. Only you are allowed to clean them, whenever you have the time.

4. Hollow Butt Plug

Force your sub to wear a hollow butt plug, then start pegging. If they’re not trained to wear one large enough yet, finger them with cold hands instead.

To add some humiliation, taunt them for not being able to stretch wide enough for you to use their ass for pleasure.

5. Have Sex With Someone Else

If you and your sub are in an open relationship, have sex with someone else in front of your sub. For extra humiliation, tell them they’re not as good as your current sexual partner.

This works very well if you have multiple subs, especially if all submissives are usually treated equally. It’ll hurt to be the least favorite.

6. Panty Mouth

Make the sub masturbate in panties. For women, put their panties inside the vagina. For men leave the panties on, then cum inside them.

Later, make them keep the panties in their mouth for 30 minutes.

7. Food Ejaculate

Make the sub consume food with cum in it. Even better if it’s his own cum.

8. Licking Cum

After a period of chastity, let a male sub orgasm over your feet, or on the dirty floor. Have him lick it up.

Sexual Punishments

1. Disliked Sexual Acts

Make your sub do something they don’t like. For women, she may not like giving blowjobs. For a femdom punishment, try pegging if your sub doesn’t like it.

Never force your partner to violate their limits though. Don’t ignore safewords.

2. Femdom Facesitting

Sit on your sub’s face and force him to pleasure you until you tell him to stop. Or, have him sit on your face while you wear a chin dildo.

3. Nipple Clamps

Nipples are extremely sensitive, and having something on them is very distracting. Have your sub wear nipple clamps, and if you’re aroused, force them to go topless and tease you.

4. Double-Ended Dildo

Do you know another dom with a sub to punish? Or you have multiple submissives? Consider having both subs use a double-ended dildo together.

5. Gang Bang

Invite other doms over to have fun with your sub.

6. Tongue-Dry

After you take a shower or bath, have the sub lick you dry. Afterwards, make them give you oral and fully clean up any orgasmic fluid/cum with their tongue.

Conclusion

A BDSM punishment can be fun for both the dom and the sub, or just pointless and power-asserting.

Whichever way you choose to do things, make sure you discuss them in advance so you always remain Safe, Sane, and Consensual.

Get creative with your ideas, tailor them to suit your relationship, and there is no way to really go wrong.

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