Top 39 How Do I Tell My Wife She Is Fat Trust The Answer

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Or tell her the three little words every woman wants to hear “You’re not fat.” If she is getting fat she already knows it and I’m sure already feels bad about it. She doesn’t need you to rub it in and make her feel worse. Tell her you think she is beautiful. Ask her to go for walks in the evenings.Be supportive of your wife rather than critical or distant. There is little downside to broaching the subject directly rather than hinting around. Start not by talking about her weight but about your marriage, your feelings, your sex life. Then ask how she feels her weight affects those important things.Walking is often an easy and effective way to lose weight, especially for beginners, as well as a great way to bond. You can also come up with leisurely activities that focus on fun but also promote physical activity indirectly. Help research weight loss programs that might be suitable for your overweight spouse.

Here are some dos and don’ts when it comes to approaching a loved one about potentially losing weight.
  1. Do Ask for Permission. …
  2. Don’t Say, ‘You Should Go on a Diet’ …
  3. Do Come From a Place of Love. …
  4. Don’t Say, ‘You’re Going to Eat All of That? …
  5. Do Say, ‘How Can I Help? …
  6. Don’t Automatically Compliment a Loved One’s Weight Loss.
The Don’ts
  1. Do not use shame.
  2. Do not force the issue.
  3. Do not frame the discussion around weight and food.
  4. Do not offer “helpful” weight loss hints.
  5. Do not monitor their food or exercise.
  6. Do not judge.
  7. Do remember that your loved one may already feel ashamed.
  8. Do speak about health and feelings.

Contents

How can I tell my wife she’s too fat?

Be supportive of your wife rather than critical or distant. There is little downside to broaching the subject directly rather than hinting around. Start not by talking about her weight but about your marriage, your feelings, your sex life. Then ask how she feels her weight affects those important things.

How do I tell my wife she needs to lose weight?

Here are some dos and don’ts when it comes to approaching a loved one about potentially losing weight.
  1. Do Ask for Permission. …
  2. Don’t Say, ‘You Should Go on a Diet’ …
  3. Do Come From a Place of Love. …
  4. Don’t Say, ‘You’re Going to Eat All of That? …
  5. Do Say, ‘How Can I Help? …
  6. Don’t Automatically Compliment a Loved One’s Weight Loss.

What can I do if my wife is getting fat?

Walking is often an easy and effective way to lose weight, especially for beginners, as well as a great way to bond. You can also come up with leisurely activities that focus on fun but also promote physical activity indirectly. Help research weight loss programs that might be suitable for your overweight spouse.

How do you tell your spouse they are getting fat?

The Don’ts
  1. Do not use shame.
  2. Do not force the issue.
  3. Do not frame the discussion around weight and food.
  4. Do not offer “helpful” weight loss hints.
  5. Do not monitor their food or exercise.
  6. Do not judge.
  7. Do remember that your loved one may already feel ashamed.
  8. Do speak about health and feelings.

How do I talk to my wife about weight gain?

3 Things To Do When You Talk Weight With BAE
  1. Never attack or accuse your partner. As with any conversation, come from your point of view and be sure to use “I feel” statements instead of placing blame. …
  2. Suggest healthy things you can do together. Offer to do healthy things with the person you love! …
  3. Be an active listener.

Is weight gain a reason for divorce?

Some claimed their objections were related to the health issues associated with obesity, but plenty admitted to just finding the idea of an overweight spouse sexually unappealing. From a legal perspective, you don’t need any grounds for divorce.

Is it OK to ask your wife to lose weight?

The world was quick to inform him that no, it’s not okay to ask your significant other to lose weight for you, especially when it’s simply for the sake of losing weight.

How do I tell my girlfriend to lose weight without hurting her feelings?

You might say:
  1. “Hey, I know you’ve been thinking about losing weight lately. I know we’ve both gained some weight the past year, and I think changing our diet to get to a healthier place is a great idea.”
  2. “I don’t think you’re overweight. …
  3. “I know you’ve been worried lately about your weight.

How do I motivate my partner to lose weight?

How to Support Your Partner’s Weight Loss Journey
  1. Do encourage. “Say things such as, ‘I believe in you, you have this,’” says Aaptiv trainer Candice Cunningham. …
  2. Don’t be a know-it-all. …
  3. Do offer to workout together. …
  4. Don’t guilt-trip or criticize. …
  5. Do eat healthy. …
  6. Don’t forget to ask what they need.

Why do wives get fat?

The reasons wives get fat are the same reasons everyone else gets fat: Not prioritizing health. Too little time to exercise and/or cook healthy foods.

Why do females gain weight in a relationship?

Researchers concluded that the reason why happy couples gain weight is because they are less motivated to maintain their weight when they don’t need to attract a mate. So, if your partner has gained some weight, chances are high that they think you’re the one.

What to do when you find your wife unattractive?

10 Tips If You’re Not Attracted To Your Spouse Anymore
  1. Work out when these feelings started. …
  2. Check how you’re feeling about yourself. …
  3. Challenge your expectations. …
  4. Make an effort for each other again. …
  5. Try a new activity new together. …
  6. Don’t be critical about them. …
  7. Start showing them more affection.

How do you tell your partner they are putting on weight?

5 Ways To Tell Your Partner They’ve Gained Weight Without Hurting Their Feelings
  1. 1) Don’t Spin In Circles.
  2. 2) Be Mindful Of The Words You Use.
  3. 3) Be Supportive.
  4. 4) Make Your Intention Clear.
  5. 5) Let Them Know You Still Love Them.

How do you talk to a girl about her weight?

Talk in a comfortable, private setting

Also, avoid bringing up the topic when she’s eating, which could make her feel self-conscious or negative about her eating habits. The more comfortable your daughter feels with you, the more likely she’ll be to open up and share thoughts and concerns about her weight.

Does weight gain affect relationships?

Co-morbidities related to obesity, like diabetes, often take the spotlight but weight issues have deleterious effects on relationships as well. Couples can become couch potatoes, watching TV instead of being on the go. Working out may take a backseat now that one is no longer on the prowl for a mate.

How can I get my wife to lose weight without hurting her feelings?

The best thing you can do is to be a nutritional and fitness role model and support healthy behavior. “Let her see you engaging in healthy habits,” Dr.

Help Her Lose Weight
  1. Focus on health, not weight. …
  2. Make it a team effort. …
  3. Go grocery shopping together. …
  4. Make her dinner. …
  5. Take on more responsibility. …
  6. Make it a habit.

What to do when you find your wife unattractive?

10 Tips If You’re Not Attracted To Your Spouse Anymore
  1. Work out when these feelings started. …
  2. Check how you’re feeling about yourself. …
  3. Challenge your expectations. …
  4. Make an effort for each other again. …
  5. Try a new activity new together. …
  6. Don’t be critical about them. …
  7. Start showing them more affection.

How do I get my wife to be healthy?

4 Ways to Help Your Partner Live Healthier—Without Starting a…
  1. Don’t let lifestyle differences get in the way of your relationship. Instead, try encouraging your partner to live healthier. …
  2. Check Your Expectations. …
  3. Respect Your Partner. …
  4. Focus on the Benefits. …
  5. Keep It Positive.

How do I talk to my girlfriend about her weight?

First of all, be supportive. When you say, “I noticed you’ve gained some weight,” she’s going to hear a lot of different messages folded into that, whether you say them or not. Stuff like “Your body is ruined forever,” or “I don’t love you anymore,” or “I’m furious at your lack of self-control.” This isn’t your fault.


How Do I Ask My Wife To Lose Weight?
How Do I Ask My Wife To Lose Weight?


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My wife has become too fat for me

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7 Dos and Don’ts for Talking to a Loved One About Weight Loss | Everyday Health

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1 Do Ask for Permission

2 Don’t Say ‘You Should Go on a Diet’

3 Do Come From a Place of Love

4 Don’t Say ‘You’re Going to Eat All of That’

5 Do Say ‘How Can I Help’

6 Don’t Automatically Compliment a Loved One’s Weight Loss

7 Do Pay Attention to the Timing of These Conversations

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Physical Attraction – What to do When Your Spouse is Overweight | Everyday Health

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How to tell your girlfriend she’s getting fat: 9 tips that actually work – Hack Spirit

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My wife has become too fat for me

Q. I am not physically attracted to my wife. Her physical appearance has always been an issue and it only gets worse. She has put on a considerable amount of weight. This is very unattractive to me.

I’ve tried to hint to her — tactfully; I’m not insensitive — that it bothers me, but she only gets offended. It seems like it’s not my place to say so anymore. Instead, there’s this gnawing silence and growing indifference to sex.

I’d like to say that she is so beautiful inside that the outside doesn’t matter. But that’s not true. In many ways — children, finances, practical things — we communicate well. I respect her and she’s a good mom. But this is a wall between us and an increasing source of emotional distress, anguish, loss of intimacy and hormonal hell. What do you suggest?

A. I get this question often from both men and women: What should they do when their spouse has grown heavier and is no longer physically appealing?

First of all, if you are not especially attracted to your partner from the beginning, as you mentioned, this will not likely change. You should have considered from the start whether this is the right spouse for you, keeping in mind that physical attraction does matter. Over time, people rarely get thinner or better-looking.

You haven’t really done your wife any favors. Put yourself in your wife’s shoes: Think how horrible it must feel to be married to someone who doesn’t find you physically attractive.

Healthy couples often become more attractive to each other over time because of their fond feelings and shared history. Plenty of couples continue to have wonderful sex lives despite growing plump and even obese (although obesity should still be avoided, since it can cause health problems).

Your turned-off feelings likely have to do with a lot more than weight. I suspect there are other issues that are harder to pinpoint: You are angry at your wife, you feel awkward being honest with her, you have let your lives become dominated by workday things, you have trouble communicating.

I’m not saying that having an overweight spouse has no impact on your sex life. Sure, your wife might be less attractive to you in the physical sense. And being overweight sends a negative message — that your wife doesn’t care enough about herself, the marriage or whether you have sex. Now, you fear saying anything and she feels you are pulling away, so you are wary around each other, setting off a vicious circle of avoidance and annoyance.

I think you should figure out what the real problem in your marriage is — in other words, confront the emotional issues. Explore why she has put on the weight, what food is replacing for her emotionally and why she isn’t tuned in to or sympathetic to how this is making you feel. Be supportive of your wife rather than critical or distant.

There is little downside to broaching the subject directly rather than hinting around. Start not by talking about her weight but about your marriage, your feelings, your sex life. Then ask how she feels her weight affects those important things.

If she wants to lose weight, work on that with her. You can exercise and cook healthy meals together. Do things other than eat. Don’t sabotage her efforts by stocking the pantry with junk food. Be her teammate in solving this problem because plenty of studies have shown that a partner can easily keep their spouse from losing weight, consciously or unconsciously. Some women will keep weight on in an attempt to avoid having sex in the first place. If this is the case, then the solution must go toward the sexual problem first, because the weight is simply the symptom.

Dr. Gail’s Bottom Line: If you’re turned off by an overweight spouse, the fix is in confronting the emotional issues behind the weight issue.

Dr. Gail Saltz is a psychiatrist with New York Presbyterian Hospital and a regular contributor to TODAY. Her latest book is “Anatomy of a Secret Life: The Psychology of Living a Lie.” She is also the author of “Amazing You! Getting Smart About Your Private Parts,” which helps parents deal with preschoolers’ questions about sex and reproduction. Her first book, “Becoming Real: Overcoming the Stories We Tell Ourselves That Hold Us Back,” was published in 2004 by Riverhead Books. It is now available in a paperback version. For more information, you can visit her Web site, www.drgailsaltz.com.

7 Dos and Don’ts for Talking to a Loved One About Weight Loss

If a loved one is overweight, you may be concerned and want to intervene. After all, having a high body mass index (BMI) is associated with a higher risk for health issues like type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and cancer, as well as a low quality of life, as the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) notes.

But not so fast, experts say. Weight loss is a sensitive topic and a personal choice. If you wish to talk to your friend or family member about it, taking a mindful approach can help you get your message across, if it is welcome, without hurting your loved one’s feelings.

“Talking to a loved one about weight and weight loss can be extremely triggering for that individual,” says Ariela Vasserman, PsyD, a psychologist at NYU Langone Health in New York City. “Timing and empathy are two key factors when attempting to have a conversation. Most attempts from others tend to elicit intense feelings of shame and humiliation, which likely promote more avoidance of the discussion.”

As with many difficult topics, when it comes to discussions of weight loss, it’s not just what you say but how you say it that matters.

“It is a really sensitive topic and words are everything when discussing it with loved ones,” says Vijaya Surampudi, MD, an assistant professor of medicine in the division of human nutrition at UCLA Health in Los Angeles.

RELATED: 7 Essential Facts About Metabolism and Weight Loss

Here are some dos and don’ts when it comes to approaching a loved one about potentially losing weight.

1. Do Ask for Permission

If you’re concerned about the effect your loved one’s weight may be having on their health, start by asking them for permission to discuss it, says Kasey Goodpaster, PhD, a clinical psychologist and director of behavioral services with Cleveland Clinic’s Bariatric and Metabolic Institute in Ohio. “If they don’t want to talk about it, respect their decision and let them know you are available if they change their mind,” she says. “You might say, ‘I’m here for you if or when you would like some support.’”

Better yet, wait for your loved one to broach the subject. “My recommendation would be to wait until the loved one makes a comment about their weight or eating habits,” says Vasserman. “When they do so, I would recommend listening, empathizing, and validating their experience rather than trying to come up with a solution for them to change.”

With permission, you may share helpful information. “If they have a weight-related problem like osteoarthritis and they are volunteering information about their knee pain, you can use it as an opportunity to start the conversation,” says Dr. Surampudi. “For example, you can say, ‘Did you hear that if you lose 5 pounds that is like 20 pounds off your knees and ankles?’”

If the person has expressed that they do not want to talk about their weight, listen and respect this desire. ”Do not continue to bring up the topic of someone’s weight if they have already expressed they don’t want to talk about it,” Goodpaster says. “Trust that they will come to you if it becomes something they would like to address.”

2. Don’t Say, ‘You Should Go on a Diet’

Avoid accusatory words like “you need to” or “you should,” advises Surampudi. This can come off as critical and may make your loved one feel judged.

Offering simplistic advice like “why don’t you eat less and exercise more” is also just plain unhelpful, says Goodpaster. “Such advice sends the message that weight management is easy when it is actually highly difficult and complex,” she says. It’s also likely something your loved one has heard before, she notes. “Assume the person with extra weight has tried many diets before, and treat them as the expert in their own bodies,” Goodpaster says. “If they are ready to make a change, you might ask, ‘What have you already tried? What worked best for you?’”

RELATED: Metabolism May Not Decline With Age as Previously Thought

3. Do Come From a Place of Love

Because overweight and obesity increase the risk for a host of health problems, including the ones mentioned above, you may want to have a frank conversation with your loved one about their overall health. “It is important to emphasize the concern around health as opposed to weight or looks per se,” says Vasserman.

Articulate that your concerns are because you care. “Send the message that you are coming from a place of love rather than criticism,” says Goodpaster. “For example, ‘I will always love you regardless of your body size, but because I love you so much, I want to make sure we live a long, healthy life together.’”

You can also invite them to share their perspective in a loving way. “For example, you might say, ‘I feel concerned about your health because of your family history of diabetes. Can you tell me how you’re feeling about your weight gain?’” Goodpaster suggests.

4. Don’t Say, ‘You’re Going to Eat All of That?’

Before being critical, realize that picking on your loved one isn’t likely to produce positive changes. “Do not ‘food police’ or make critical comments about what the person is eating, even if they have expressed that they are trying to lose weight,” advises Goodpaster. “Food policing usually triggers guilt and shame, which in turn can trigger emotional eating.”

Research also finds making negative comments to a loved one can be harmful. A study published in June 2016 in the journal Eating and Weight Disorders found that women who remembered their parents commenting about their weight during childhood had greater dissatisfaction with their weight as an adult.

Additionally, shaming a person is not an effective way to get them to do something. “Keep in mind that lasting change will never occur from being pressured or guilted into change by others,” Goodpaster says. “The person needs to be self-motivated to lose weight in order to engage in the many difficult behavior changes needed long term.”

RELATED: 9 Hard Truths About Weight Loss

5. Do Say, ‘How Can I Help?’

If you’re talking to someone who is thinking about weight loss but seems overwhelmed, remember that sometimes all people need is a supportive ear. “The most important feedback, in my professional opinion, would be to suggest to the loved one that you are there for them and will be supportive along the way,” says Vasserman. “Asking how you could be helpful or supportive can open up fruitful conversations, as opposed to making concrete suggestions around how to lose weight.”

Additionally, rather than placing the focus solely on a specific person who has extra weight, it’s helpful to make healthy behavior changes together as a family, says Goodpaster. “For example, the whole family might help with grocery shopping and meal prep, go on walks together, or engage in other enjoyable forms of physical activity,” she says.

Scientific research supports a joint effort approach for effective weight loss, as well. For example, a study published in February 2018 in the Journal of Health Communication found that people who participated in a 15-week online weight loss program with a buddy lost more weight than those who did the program alone.

6. Don’t Automatically Compliment a Loved One’s Weight Loss

Unless your loved one has specifically asked for it, refrain from commenting about their weight loss. “Some people appreciate compliments when they begin losing weight because they have difficulty recognizing change in themselves, and others feel uncomfortable and ‘under the microscope’ when any comments are made about their bodies,” Goodpaster says. If you’re unsure what the person wants, ask.

Goodpaster advises not automatically complimenting someone’s weight loss, unless they have expressed they would like this kind of feedback and you know that weight loss has resulted from healthy behavior change. “You can never assume that weight loss is a good thing, as sometimes it is unintentional due to illness, or the result of unhealthy weight control practices,” Goodpaster says.

RELATED: 21 Tips for Weight Loss That Actually Work

7. Do Pay Attention to the Timing of These Conversations

As mentioned, timing is crucial. “I would most certainly not discuss one’s weight around others, as this will likely be humiliating,” Vasserman says. “Additionally, I would avoid any conversation about health and weight if you or your loved one are in an emotionally vulnerable state, such as during a heated argument.”

Surampudi agrees. “Timing is everything,” she says. “If you know your loved one is very sensitive or not ready to even think about making changes, wait. If a person is going through a rough time, a divorce, say, or some setback, that may not be the right moment to address a weight problem and set a challenge.”

Physical Attraction – What to do When Your Spouse is Overweight

Question of the Week: When my husband and I first started dating, I was extremely attracted to his physical appearance. But throughout the years of our marriage, he’s put on a considerable amount of weight. When I tell him he needs to lose weight he gets angry and really hurt. Is it unfair of me to want him to lose weight?

“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?” Unknown author

Your marriage vows tell you, “for rich or for poor” and “through sickness and health,” but where is the part about “through fat and skinny”? Chances are you won’t find this stipulation in any many marriage vows, and frankly it might be because weight and physical attraction is an important factor in sustaining intimacy. Some couples who have been married for years will tell you that their physical attraction to each other has intensified over the years while others say that their attraction to each other has lessened anyway, even without weight gain. While changes in appearance are inevitable due to the natural aging process, pregnancy and other health conditions, these kinds of changes are a little more acceptable to some because they are involuntary. It seems like a different story, however, when a spouse gains weight due to their own lack of effort in eating right and exercising. Grey hair and wrinkles will bestow themselves on everyone, but when voluntary weight gain creeps in, do spouses have the right to demand change?

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