Top 36 How Many Spanks Should A Child Get The 59 Detailed Answer

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As a general suggestion, for the first offense of the child, resort to non-physical discipline. If your child repeats the act, that’s equal to two spanks. If you resort to spanking to correct your child’s negative behaviors, make sure to make them understand why that particular behavior is bad.A suggestion is that the number of spanks should be equal to the number of times the same rule has been broken. A first offense would necessitate a warning or non-physical punishment such as time-out, while a second or third offense would equal three spanks.While spanking may create a sense of fear in your child in the moment, it won’t improve behavior over the long term. In fact, regular spanking normalizes the act of hitting and can lead to aggressive behavior that encourages continued conflict between you and your child.

The focus should be on teaching your child better behavior, not hurting him/her.
  1. Objects should never be used to spank your child and you should limit spankings to approximately three to four pats on the backside.
  2. Never spank your child when you are angry. Any spankings should be done when you are calm.

How many spanks should you give?

A suggestion is that the number of spanks should be equal to the number of times the same rule has been broken. A first offense would necessitate a warning or non-physical punishment such as time-out, while a second or third offense would equal three spanks.

How do you give a child a spanking?

The focus should be on teaching your child better behavior, not hurting him/her.
  1. Objects should never be used to spank your child and you should limit spankings to approximately three to four pats on the backside.
  2. Never spank your child when you are angry. Any spankings should be done when you are calm.

Is it normal to be spanked as a child?

While spanking may create a sense of fear in your child in the moment, it won’t improve behavior over the long term. In fact, regular spanking normalizes the act of hitting and can lead to aggressive behavior that encourages continued conflict between you and your child.

What are the effects of being spanked as a child?

Many studies have shown that physical punishment — including spanking, hitting and other means of causing pain — can lead to increased aggression, antisocial behavior, physical injury and mental health problems for children.

How many swats are in spanking?

There is a maximum of three swats, to be applied to the student’s buttocks. Only the principal or assistant principal may administer it. Parents may sign a form to opt out.

Is spanking illegal?

According to the Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children, a total 63 states worldwide have made smacking children illegal in any setting, including the home. Corporal punishment is illegal in schools in a total of 135 countries.

Is it OK to whoop a child?

Despite the consensus from medical organizations like the Canadian Paediatric Society and the American Academy of Pediatrics that spanking is not OK (the AAP released a policy in 2018 reiterating that corporal punishment increases poor behaviour and is bad for child development), it’s still happening.

How does being beaten as a child affect adults?

Adults who have buried their history of child abuse can continue to suffer in ways that can include post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), eating disorders, substance misuse, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, anger, guilt, learning disabilities, physical illness, disturbing memories and dissociation.

What happens if you get spanked?

The experts came to a rather startling conclusion: Spanking causes similar emotional and developmental harm as abuse to children. According to the study, the more children are spanked, the more likely they are to defy their parents and experience: antisocial behavior. aggression.

What does corporal punishment do to a child?

Corporal punishment is linked to a range of negative outcomes for children across countries and cultures, including physical and mental ill-health, impaired cognitive and socio-emotional development, poor educational outcomes, increased aggression and perpetration of violence.


Should You Spank Your Kids? Know the Facts before Spanking
Should You Spank Your Kids? Know the Facts before Spanking


How Many Spanks Should a Child Get? When is Spanking Necessary?

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At What Age Should a Child Get Spanked as a Form of Discipline?

Here’s a debate topic parents, experts, and teachers talk about — at what age should a child get spanked? Or is spanking a child really an effective form of discipline? There have been contradicting opinions and studies regarding this topic.

Spanking is a disciplinary method of corporal punishment used by parents for centuries to instill obedience and discipline. But at what age is it appropriate to spank a child? Read further to learn more about what experts say about spanking.

Does Spanking Discipline the Child?

Let’s clear the air out and see what experts have to say about spanking as a form of discipline. According to a study conducted by the Harvard Graduate School of Education, spanking is not an effective way to discipline a child whether be it at home or at school.

Parents spank their children with the desire to teach a lesson or instill obedience, but the outcome will depend on the frequency of spanking and the delivery method. The answer to the question: does spanking discipline a child is IT DEPENDS.

A parent’s decision whether to spank or not their child is a matter of personal opinion and should be based on what works best for the parent and child. Like any other form of discipline, spanking a child has its pros and cons.

That is why you’ve landed this page, so you can carefully consider at what age should a child get spanked, also if it is an effective parenting method. But there’s one thing you need to remember regarding spanking. Never spank your child for these reasons:

Out of frustration

Anger

To cause fear and intimidation

To embarrass

If you’re a parent wanting to discipline your child, keep in mind that there are other ways to teach obedience and compliance other than spanking. Which will be discussed further in the following sections.

Related Read: Authoritarian vs. Authoritative Parenting Style

What Is The Appropriate Age for Spanking?

As a parent, if you think physical discipline through spanking needs to be reinforced to your child, you at least need to know the appropriate age for spanking. Generally speaking, if a child is ready for potty training, they are ready to face and understand the consequences. In other words, they are developmentally ready.

It doesn’t really make sense to spank a child younger than two years old as they don’t understand the negative consequences of their bad actions. Also, spanking babies may harm them physically.

Studies found that subtle spanking is an effective discipline for children ages two to six years old. This is the age where children can comprehend why they are being punished through spanking.

As the child gets older, it is advisable to reduce the spanking and resort to other forms of discipline. Disciplining children through spanking is your decision as a parent, but at least consider your child’s age when implementing this type of discipline.

How to Appropriately Discipline Your Child Through Spanking

For centuries, regardless the race or social standing, spanking has been used by parents or grandparents as a form of punishment. Some use their bare hands, while some with materials like a belt, ruler, wooden spoon, cooking spatula, or other tools.

As much as possible, use two to three open-handed swats only, and of course, minimize the force. Do not use tools like belts as this may cause physical harm to your child. As a general suggestion, for the first offense of the child, resort to non-physical discipline. If your child repeats the act, that’s equal to two spanks.

If you resort to spanking to correct your child’s negative behaviors, make sure to make them understand why that particular behavior is bad. Spanking to discipline your child without an explanation has no teaching value. Here are other reminders on how to appropriately discipline your child through spanking.

Consider the Appropriate Age When Spanking a Child

When spanking is used appropriately, it can be an effective tool to discipline negative behaviors, especially in toddlers or young preschoolers. But, before you even consider spanking to impose discipline, consider your child’s age.

As mentioned earlier, a child younger than 2 years old may not understand the consequences of their actions. Thus, spanking as a sign of discipline for children younger than two years old is not effective. Also, spanking babies may cause physical harm to them, which should always be remembered.

What about if your child gets older? Do you still continue to spank? According to the American Psychological Association, it is recommended, as much as possible to gradually replace corporal punishment with other forms of non-physical discipline such as time-outs or losing privileges.

Offer an Explanation

Always offer an explanation to your child on why their behavior is bad. Spanking without any explanation, much like any other form of punishment in general, is not an effective way of imposing discipline on your child.

For example, the child played with the gas stove. If you spank your child, explain that playing with a gas stove is dangerous as they might get burned and that they shouldn’t play with it again. This way, your child understands why they shouldn’t play with a gas stove again.

Limit your Spanking

Do you know that a child spanked frequently are more likely to be more aggressive when they get older? In addition, frequent hitting or spanking is linked to mental health issues during adolescence or adulthood.

In fact, there’s a limit to the number of spanks. As a general rule, the number of spanks given to a child should only be equal to the number of times the same rule was broken. For instance, it’s the 2nd time you caught your child playing with the gas stove.

Spank while saying, “This is for the first time you played with the stove, and this is for the second time you played with it again. You should understand that playing with a stove is dangerous, never do it again”. Your discipline should be accompanied by an explanation as this can be a teaching moment for the child.

Never Spank Out of Anger or Vent Out

Here’s something parents should never do: to span a child out of anger, vent out, intimidate or invoke fear. If you had a bad day at work and your child has done wrong, don’t vent it out on them. Being physically aggressive, most especially without an explanation or affirmation of love to the child can be damaging to their mental health.

Spanks should never be given out of anger, fear, or any other emotion you may feel the urge to vent out. Similarly, it should never be used to intimidate the child. When administering a spanking, always follow up with an explanation and affirmation of love for the child.

What Experts Say About Spanking a Child

Experts from different academic sources have shown strong evidence that spanking a child has negative impacts on a child’s physical and mental health. The same is true when yelling or shaming a child.

So what do the experts suggest? Do not resort to physical punishment when disciplining a child. As much as possible, try other non-physical forms of discipline at first such as a time-out or removing privileges. Use spanking as last resort to discipline your child.

Experts say that spanking may also seem helpful short term, but is ineffective and harmful in the long run. A child who is spanked often may interpret that using physical force is a socially acceptable method of problem-solving, which in the end what they’s resort to.

The Negative Effects of Physical Punishment

As parents, you should know the negative outcome of spanking. Physical punishments like spanking or hitting may lead to negative outcomes in a child, like:

Physical abuse (especially in cases of severe maltreatment): If a parent gets carried away with emotions while spanking, they may hit harder and may not be aware of it, and is a risk factor to physical injury. Spanking with force is a form of child abuse and may lead to blisters and bruises.

Fear: Spanking teaches a child to feel fear towards you, not respect or listen to you. Instead of learning from their mistakes, children will feel hurt and resentful.

Increased aggressive behavior: If a child grew up in an environment where spanking is used as an acceptable way to solve problems, the child may harbor an aggressive behavior. This means fighting and hitting will be their way to solve problems in the future as well.

Distrust: When children are spanked every time they commit a mistake, distrust between the parent and child develops over time. Sympathetic guidance is needed to keep the trust between the child and parent intact.

Poor self-esteem: If a child grows up being spanked for their wrongdoing, it lowers their self-esteem. A child may think “If I weren’t such a bad child, I wouldn’t get hit”.

Parent-child relationship: Most parents who spank their children have a poor relationship with their kids growing up. Spanking undermines the bond between the parent and the child.

Other implications of spanking: Anti-social behavior, mental health problems, poor social-emotional development, poor self-regulation, poor cognitive development, the poor brain response

What Are Other Ways to Discipline Your Child Other Than Corporal Punishment?

Spanking is not the only way to discipline a child. While spanking may feel like the fastest way to correct a child’s behavior, the truth is, experts, say that corporal punishment has long-term consequences on kids.

As much as possible, use spanking as the last resort when other forms of discipline are not effective as you think. At the end of the day, you’ll realize that the other forms of discipline are more effective than spanking. Here are other ways to discipline your child without raising a hand:

Time-Out

A time-out like facing the wall is an effective way to instill obedience in a child. Time-out means not being able to interact with playmates, play with toys, or keep quiet for a certain period.

A time-out teaches a child how to calm down and regulate their emotions. It gives them time to think and reflect on their behavior. A time-put also increases in older and younger children.

Teach Your Child New Skills

Instead of scolding or spanking, teach new skills to your child that they would most likely cooperate with. Not only are they learning a new skill but also efficiently spending their time on something productive. Also learning a new skill can help build their independence, confidence, and self-esteem.

Think of teaching new skills that are appropriate to their age and interests. For example, you can teach four-year-old self-care skills like washing their hand or getting dressed. Learning a new skill can help in the overall child development.

Remove Privileges

Many parents find removing privileges as an effective way to discipline. After all, as human beings, we learn our lesson when what we love are taken away from us. Removing privileges like WiFi, TV, or cellphone time are effective methods of teaching the consequences of bad actions.

How long will you remove their privileges? It depends on you. But usually, 1-2 days of removing privileges can help them learn their lesson. Grounding is also a form of removing the privilege of going out to play or hang out with friends.

Let Them Do Chores

Another alternative to corporal punishment is letting them do household chores. Not only are you teaching your child a lesson, but also teach them life skills of working inside the house. Let your child do the dishes, clean up after the dog, fix their bed, and many more.

Of course, you should always consider your child’s safety when doing a certain chore and if it’s appropriate for their age. You wouldn’t want your three-year-old to wash the dishes right?

Ignore Their Screaming or Yelling

Children, especially toddlers who do not stop screaming, yelling, or having tantrums may sometimes just want your attention. What can you do? You can try to ignore their behavior. Only acknowledge your child once they start behaving as this teaches them how to be polite.

Positive Reinforcement for Child Development

If your child does a bad deed, punishment is a natural consequence. But good behavior also deserves a reward, which is called positive reinforcement. For instance, did a great job in cleaning up their room, they deserve a treat like ice cream. Or verbal praise for the positive behavior is good enough.

Frequently Asked Questions

How Many Spanks Should a Kid Get?

As experts suggest, the number of spanks a child should get is equivalent to the number of times the same rule was broken. However, for the first offense, a non-physical punishment is suggested such as a time-out or losing privileges.

Does Spanking Worsen Behavior?

Several research shows that physical punishment like spanking or hitting may worsen the behavior of a child. This also leads to antisocial behavior, increased aggression, or mental health issues.

Is Spanking Child Abuse?

If spanking leaves a bruise, scratch, or cut, this is child abuse by definition. Applying excessive force when spanking may lead to physical abuse.

The Takeaway

So what is the bottom line in all of this? Spanking may or may not produce positive results for your child. Also, the effectiveness of this type of discipline depends on how you administer the punishment.

Just remember to use this type of punishment appropriately and within a limited capacity. As much as possible, resort to other forms of discipline by taking away screen time or a time out.

As parents, you should be more patient in implementing discipline and obedience to your child. One last note, two years is old is the appropriate age for spanking. Parenting is hard but being more patient will have positive effects on you and your child.

How Many Spanks Should a Child Get? When is Spanking Necessary?

Spanking is a disciplinary method which typically involves delivering a few open-handed blows to the buttocks, used as a form of corporal punishment to instill discipline and obedience. It remains one of the most debated and controversial disciplinary techniques among parents, child psychologists and pediatricians, child educators, and experts.

In general, spanking should be limited to two to three open-handed swats on a child’s buttocks while fully clothed and should not involve the use of implements such as belts, paddles, and switches which could cause lasting damage. The spanking should also be preceded or followed by an explanation of why he/she has been punished with a spanking.

Whether or not spanking produces positive or negative results in children really depends on how the punishment is administered. When used appropriately and in a limited capacity, spanking can prove to be an effective teaching and disciplinary tool.

When Does Spanking Become Necessary?

Generally speaking, spanking is not a necessary thing when it comes to disciplining children, especially when there are so many other methods when it comes to teaching obedience and compliance. In fact, some research even shows that non-physical methods of discipline prove to be just as or even more effective than spanking.

Parents should never be spanking a child simply out of anger and frustration, or just to cause intimidation and fear, and it is important that the child understands this – that his/her parent’s spanking is done out of love and is in his/her best interest.

The decision of whether to spank or not is a personal one and should be made based on what works best for both the child and parent. Like all other forms of discipline, there are pros and cons to spanking which need to be carefully considered.

One form of spanking which research has shown to be effective is known as conditional or “back-up” spanking, which is employed only after a child has defied other means of non-physical discipline. In one study, children of parents who made use of conditional spanking have better adolescent outcomes than their peers whose parents discipline primarily through spanking. They also had better outcomes than their peers whose parents were overly permissive and forgiving.

Some parents claim that spanking is an effective way to teach a young child safety. For instance, when a child who has been previously warned not to play in the street tries to run into traffic, the shock of receiving a gentle but firm smack on the hand or buttocks be enough to make them think twice before disobeying safety rules again.

How Many Spanks?

A suggestion is that the number of spanks should be equal to the number of times the same rule has been broken. A first offense would necessitate a warning or non-physical punishment such as time-out, while a second or third offense would equal three spanks.

Spanks should never be administered simply out of anger or used as a means to intimidate. A spanking should also be followed up by an affirmation of love for the child.

Alternatives to Spanking

It has also been found that spanking works best on younger children from the ages of two to six, as long as they are able to comprehend why the punishment is happening. Experts also agree that spanking should be phased out as a child gets older and replaced with other disciplinary methods such as time-outs, grounding and removing privileges, as these are typically more effective than a traditional spanking is when it comes to older children.

There are many alternative disciplinary methods that do not involve corporal punishment. They can prove to be just as effective or even more effective than spanking and encourage children and parents to settle their problems verbally with mutual understanding and respect.

Isolation and Time-Out

Time-out teaches children an important life skill – calming themselves down and regulate their own emotions. It gives them time to think about their behavior and encourages self-awareness.

Removing Privileges

For an older child, losing privileges such as television or screen time for an amount of time can be an effective method of teaching consequences. The privilege taken away should relate to the behavior being punished. Usually, a day’s loss is long enough to teach a child consequences.

Natural Consequences

Instead of spanking a child who refuses to do his/her homework, letting him/her experience the natural consequence of his/her actions (which in this case would be failing) could be more effective. Safety is always the priority, so make sure that in doing this, the child is never in any real danger.

Ignoring Misbehavior

Sometimes, a child may act out or scream and yell in an attempt to get his/her parent’s attention. Ignoring the mild misbehavior and only acknowledging them once he/she behaves or again teaches the child that politeness is always best.

Positive Reinforcement

Instead of punishing bad behavior, positive reinforcement involves rewarding or praising good behavior, such as getting good marks on a test or cleaning up after playtime. Establishing rewards and praise for certain deeds reinforces the good behavior and prevents the bad behavior from reoccurring.

Why You Shouldn’t Spank Your Kids

It’s time for parents to abandon the old adage that kids “deserve a good spanking” every once in a while.

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The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) issued a strong statement in 2018, advising parents not to spank their children, based on a growing pile of studies showing that the disciplinary technique does more harm than good.

“The new AAP statement includes data that show that kids who were spanked in their early years were more likely to be more defiant, show more aggressive behavior later in preschool and school and have increased risk for mental health disorders and lower self-esteem,” says pediatrician Karen Estrella, MD.

Research over the last 20 years has demonstrated that spanking increases aggression in young children and is ineffective in changing their undesirable behavior, the AAP says. Studies have also linked spanking to an increased risk of mental health disorders and impaired brain development.

The AAP is an influential professional association that represents some 67,000 pediatricians across the country. But this evolution in thinking about parental discipline isn’t just limited to medical professionals — fewer parents raising children today seem to support spanking. In a 2013 poll, about half of parents under the age of 36 reported having spanked their own children. Among all of the older generations, that number was 70% or higher.

Why spanking to discipline doesn’t work

While spanking may create a sense of fear in your child in the moment, it won’t improve behavior over the long term. In fact, regular spanking normalizes the act of hitting and can lead to aggressive behavior that encourages continued conflict between you and your child.

“Children view their parents as role models,” Dr. Estrella says. “Aggressive behavior will only generate more negative behaviors in a child.”

In its statement, the AAP also condemned verbal abuse, explaining that yelling in a way that insults, humiliates or shames a child also has negative effects on brain development.

“Research shows that kids exposed to toxic stress have changes in their cognitive capacities later on,” Dr. Estrella says.

Discipline strategies to use instead of spanking

Try these three steps to effectively discipline your child:

Establish a positive and supportive parent-child relationship that gives your child a reason to demonstrate good behavior.

Use positive reinforcement to encourage your child to behave.

If necessary, use other disciplinary methods such as time outs or taking away your child’s favorite privileges for a period of time.

Dr. Estrella builds on those and other recommendations from the AAP with these additional tips:

Be a role model. Make it a priority to remain calm, with the understanding that your child looks to you to be an example of how to behave.

Make it a priority to remain calm, with the understanding that your child looks to you to be an example of how to behave. Set rules and limits that can be enforced consistently among all caretakers. There should be no good guy/bad guy for your child with multiple caretakers. Make sure that rules are verbalized using age-appropriate language.

There should be no good guy/bad guy for your child with multiple caretakers. Make sure that rules are verbalized using age-appropriate language. Constantly praise and celebrate good behaviors. Give attention to behaviors that you want your child to repeat. Show that you are observant and proud when they behave well.

Give attention to behaviors that you want your child to repeat. Show that you are observant and proud when they behave well. Similarly, know when not to respond. “Ignoring a bad behavior, for example if a child throws himself to the floor because he wasn’t allowed to play on the iPad, is a good way to make that behavior decrease with time,” Dr. Estrella says. “In this case, the child will learn that throwing a tantrum will not get him the iPad.”

“Ignoring a bad behavior, for example if a child throws himself to the floor because he wasn’t allowed to play on the iPad, is a good way to make that behavior decrease with time,” Dr. Estrella says. “In this case, the child will learn that throwing a tantrum will not get him the iPad.” Learn from past experience. What triggers your child’s misbehavior? If you can identify a trigger, are there ways to avoid it, or at least better prepare for it? Make sure your child knows what the consequences will be if they don’t comply with your requests or misbehaves in a certain situation.

What triggers your child’s misbehavior? If you can identify a trigger, are there ways to avoid it, or at least better prepare for it? Make sure your child knows what the consequences will be if they don’t comply with your requests or misbehaves in a certain situation. Redirect bad behavior. Turn “don’t do that” into an action that your child can do. If your child takes a toy from a playmate, for example, offer your child another toy or activity until it’s their turn. Use the same mindset for winning/losing situations.

Turn “don’t do that” into an action that your child can do. If your child takes a toy from a playmate, for example, offer your child another toy or activity until it’s their turn. Use the same mindset for winning/losing situations. Call a time out when a rule is broken. Remove your child from that situation for a pre-set amount of time, which can be one minute per year of age. Explain in a short phrase why you are doing it. Once your child gets older, let them lead the time out by saying, “Go to time out and come back when you are calm and ready.” This can teach your child to understand their emotions, actions and consequences, Dr. Estrella explains.

“Talk with your pediatrician if those behaviors are common at your kid’s age about what strategies to use,” she adds. “If needed, a pediatric psychologist, as well as community resources can provide parenting classes for additional guidance or support.”

So you have finished reading the how many spanks should a child get topic article, if you find this article useful, please share it. Thank you very much. See more: positive effects of being spanked as a child, reasonable punishment of a child, is hitting a child effective, how much time should you allow for a child to comply with your command, age-appropriate discipline chart, corporal punishment, age-appropriate consequences, i hit my child and feel guilty

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