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Is there right way to spank?
The focus should be on teaching your child better behavior, not hurting him/her. Objects should never be used to spank your child and you should limit spankings to approximately three to four pats on the backside. Never spank your child when you are angry. Any spankings should be done when you are calm.
Does being spanked cause trauma?
Many studies have shown that physical punishment — including spanking, hitting and other means of causing pain — can lead to increased aggression, antisocial behavior, physical injury and mental health problems for children.
Where do you spank?
Spanking is typically done with one or more slaps on the child’s buttocks with a bare hand, although, not uncommonly, various objects are used to spank children, such as a hairbrush or wooden spoon. Historically, adults have spanked boys more than girls.
What do you spank for?
Properly understood and administered, spanking is most effective as a deterrent to undesirable behavior for younger preschoolers (but never for infants). That’s because reasoning and taking away privileges often simply don’t work with kids in that age range.
What happens if you get spanked?
The experts came to a rather startling conclusion: Spanking causes similar emotional and developmental harm as abuse to children. According to the study, the more children are spanked, the more likely they are to defy their parents and experience: antisocial behavior. aggression.
Should I cane my child?
Experts advise against caning children
If you cane your child as a form of punishment or method of discipline, this could cause long-term psychological repercussions, warns Dr Muhamad Muhsin Ahmad Zahari, Consultant Psychiatrist from the Universiti Malaya Specialist Centre.
How many spanks should a child get?
A suggestion is that the number of spanks should be equal to the number of times the same rule has been broken. A first offense would necessitate a warning or non-physical punishment such as time-out, while a second or third offense would equal three spanks.
How does spanking affect adulthood?
Summary: Getting spanked as a child can lead to a host of mental health problems in adulthood, say researchers. Getting spanked as a child can lead to a host of mental health problems in adulthood, say University of Michigan researchers.
When should a child get spanked?
As parents, you should be more patient in implementing discipline and obedience to your child. One last note, two years is old is the appropriate age for spanking. Parenting is hard but being more patient will have positive effects on you and your child.
Can corporal punishment cause PTSD?
Spanking has been linked post-traumatic stress disorder and short- and long-term behavior problems in children.
What effects does corporal punishment have?
Corporal punishment is linked to a range of negative outcomes for children across countries and cultures, including physical and mental ill-health, impaired cognitive and socio-emotional development, poor educational outcomes, increased aggression and perpetration of violence.
What are the positive effects of corporal punishment?
Corporal punishment sets clear boundaries and motivates children to behave in school. Children are better able to make decisions about their behavior, exercise self-control, and be accountable for their actions when they understand the…
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How to Include Spanking in Child Discipline
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Contents
Terminology[edit]
In the home[edit]
In schools[edit]
Adult spanking[edit]
Ritual spanking traditions[edit]
See also[edit]
References[edit]
External links[edit]
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Spanking Can Be an Appropriate Form of Child Discipline | Time
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How do you ask for a spanking? – Answers
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- Summary of article content: Articles about How do you ask for a spanking? – Answers It is easy, ask whom ever you want to spank you that “I want a spanking”, if they back off and don’t want to spank you “I want a spanking … …
- Most searched keywords: Whether you are looking for How do you ask for a spanking? – Answers It is easy, ask whom ever you want to spank you that “I want a spanking”, if they back off and don’t want to spank you “I want a spanking … It is easy, ask whom ever you want to spank you that “I want a spanking”, if they back off and don’t want to spank you “I want a spanking beacuse… I was naughty when… I feel gulity and I want you to spank me over your knee with your hand with my naked bottom showing.” You should ask the person that you offended to spank you.”Hon? I know this may sound a little strange, but would you be willing to give me a little spanking? It would be a turn-on for me.”There are three possible responses:”That’s sick!””I don’t want to hurt you, dear.””Get on my lap!”Your answers:”No, it’s not sick. It’s just something I want, but if you don’t want to, that’s all right. Forget I asked.””You won’t. If it hurts, I’ll tell you to stop.””I love you!”By phrasing the question “mom’s boyfriend,” you are insinuating asking a father figure for a spanking. This can be a very difficult and nerve-racking endeavor. The manner in which you ask him will vary greatly in congruency with your situation. It depends on a number of factors. Take these into account when you ask him. Have you been spanked by a previous father or father figure (such as uncle, grandfather, and so on)? Have you been spanked by your mom, or anyone else? Are any of your current friends or other relatives spanked? Has he used other forms of discipline on your (making you write lines, grounding you, taking away items and/or privileges), and have they proved unsuccessful? Does he implicitly mention spanking, in general terms? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you might want to bring those facts up in conversation. If you and your current father figure discuss your behavior often, you might want to introduce him spanking you if you believe that will improve your behavior. Also, if your father figure mentions that you have a lack of respect for him, you can suggest that he spanking you could heighten your respect of and for him.If your father figure does not seem comfortable with the idea, but you still believe it to be in your best interest, make sure to stress that notion. Tell him that he doesn’t necessarily have to spank you on the bare buttocks or on the underwear if that makes him uncomfortable. Tell him that he can spank you sparingly until the two of you become used to it; after all, you being spanked by him will also get some getting used to as each spanker (the one giving the spanking) and spankee (the one receiving the spanking) is a bit different. If you are spanked by someone else, you can suggest that your father figure watch a spanking he or she gives you in order to understand what is entailed in a regular spanking. Or, your father figure can ask the person who spanks you questions so that he can know what should be expected of him in the spanker-spankee relationship. You can suggest that entering into a spanker-spankee relationship can often make the father figure and child grow closer together.These are just a few ideas to bring to the table when you bring up the topic of spanking to your father figure.
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7 Tricks to Get Your Boyfriend to Spank You in the Bedroom
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- Summary of article content: Articles about 7 Tricks to Get Your Boyfriend to Spank You in the Bedroom This discreet newsletter will teach you how to make him cum hard, give freaky oral sex & make him scream your name in bed. Click here to get it. …
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1 Ask Him Directly
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This is going to sound a little crazy but
Sexy Spanking Tips – How to Spank Your Partner Sexually
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how do I ask a friend to spank me? – General Spanking Discussion – Spanking Needs
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How to Ask a Partner to Spank You – Slutty Girl Problems
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Four Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Spank Your Child — Zach Rawlings, LMHC, PsyD
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A Very Useful Guide to Sexy Spanking | GQ
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Wikipedia
Corporal punishment involving the act of striking the buttocks of another person
This article is about the punishment form of spanking. For consensual activities, see Erotic spanking
“Spank” redirects here. For the song, see Spank (song)
Spanking is a common form of corporal punishment involving the act of striking, with either the palm of the hand or an implement, the buttocks of a person to cause physical pain. The term spanking broadly encompasses the use of either the hand or implement, the use of implements can also refer to the administration of more specific types of corporal punishment such as caning, paddling and slippering.
Some parents spank children in response to undesired behavior.[1][2] Adults more commonly spank boys than girls both at home and in school.[3] Some countries have outlawed the spanking of children in every setting, including homes, schools, and penal institutions,[4] while others permit it when done by a parent or guardian.
Terminology [ edit ]
In American English, dictionaries define spanking as being administered with either the open hand or an implement such as a paddle.[5] Thus, the standard form of corporal punishment in US schools (use of a paddle) is often referred to as a spanking. In North America, the word “spanking” has often been used as a synonym for an official paddling in school,[6] and sometimes even as a euphemism for the formal corporal punishment of adults in an institution.[7]
In British English, most dictionaries define “spanking” as being given only with the open hand.[8] In the United Kingdom, Ireland, Australia and New Zealand, the word “smacking” is generally used in preference to “spanking” when describing striking with an open hand, rather than with an implement. Whereas a spanking is invariably administered to the bottom, a “smacking” is less specific and may refer to slapping the child’s hands, arms or legs as well as its bottom.[9]
In the home [ edit ]
Parents commonly spank their children as a form of corporal punishment in the United States; however, support for this practice appears to be declining amongst U.S. parents.[1][10] Spanking is typically done with one or more slaps on the child’s buttocks with a bare hand, although, not uncommonly, various objects are used to spank children, such as a hairbrush or wooden spoon.[1] Historically, adults have spanked boys more than girls.[3][11] In the United States, adults commonly spank infants and toddlers the most.[12] The main reasons parents give for spanking children are to make children more compliant and to promote better behavior, especially to put a stop to children’s aggressive behaviors.
However, research has shown that spanking (or any other form of corporal punishment) is associated with the opposite effect.[1][10] When adults physically punish children, the children tend to obey parents less with time and develop more aggressive behaviors, including toward other children.[1] This increase in aggressive behavior appears to reflect the child’s perception that hitting is the way to deal with anger and frustration.[1] There are also many adverse physical, mental, and emotional effects correlated with spanking and other forms of corporal punishment, including various physical injuries, increased anxiety, depression, and antisocial behavior.[1][13][14] Adults who were spanked during their childhood are more likely to abuse their children and spouse.[1]
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health (RCPCH), and the Royal Australasian College of Physicians (RACP) all recommend that no child should be spanked and instead favor the use of effective, healthy forms of discipline.[1][10][15][16] Additionally, the AAP recommends that primary care providers (e.g., pediatricians and family medicine physicians) begin to discuss parents’ discipline methods no later than nine months of age and consider initiating such discussions by age 3–4 months.[1] By eight months of age, 5% of parents report spanking and 5% report starting to spank by age three months.[1] The AAP also recommends that pediatricians discuss effective discipline strategies and counsel parents about the ineffectiveness of spanking and the risks of harmful effects associated with the practice to minimize harm to children and guide parents.[10][17]
Although parents and other advocates of spanking often claim that spanking is necessary to promote child discipline, studies have shown that parents tend to apply physical punishment inconsistently and tend to spank more often when they are angry or under stress.[18] The use of corporal punishment by parents increases the likelihood that children will suffer physical abuse,[1] and most documented cases of physical abuse in Canada and the United States begin as disciplinary spankings.[19] If a child is frequently spanked, this form of corporal punishment tends to become less effective at modifying behavior over time (also known as extinction).[1] In response to decreased effectiveness of spanking, some parents increase the frequency or severity of spanking or use an object.[1]
Alternatives to spanking [ edit ]
Parents may spank less – or not at all – if they have learned effective discipline techniques, since many parents view spanking as a method of last resort to discipline their children.[10] There are many alternatives to spanking and other forms of corporal punishment:
Time-in, increasing, praise, and special time to promote desired behaviors
Time outs to take a break from escalating misbehavior
Positive reinforcement of rewarding desirable behavior with a star, sticker, or treat
Implementing non-physical punishment (psychology) in which an unpleasant consequence follows misbehavior, such as taking away a privilege
Ignoring low-level misbehaviors and prioritizing attention on more significant forms of misbehavior
Avoiding the opportunity for the misbehavior to occur and thus the need for corrective discipline.[1]
In schools [ edit ]
Medieval representation of a schoolboy spanked with tree branches
Corporal punishment, usually delivered with an implement (such as a paddle or cane) rather than with the open hand, used to be a common form of school discipline in many countries, but it is now banned in most of the Western World.
Corporal punishment, such as caning, remains a common form of discipline in schools in several Asian and African countries, even in countries in which this practice has been deemed illegal such as India and South Africa.[20][21][22] In these cultures it is referred to as “caning” and not “spanking.” The Supreme Court of the United States in 1977 held that the paddling of school students was not per se unlawful.[23] However, 31 states have now banned paddling in public schools. It is still common in some schools in the South, and more than 167,000 students were paddled in the 2011-2012 school year in American public schools.[24] Students can be physically punished from kindergarten to the end of high school, meaning that even adults who have reached the age of majority are sometimes spanked by school officials.[25]
A number of medical, pediatric or psychological societies have issued statements opposing all forms of corporal punishment in schools, citing such outcomes as poorer academic achievements, increases in antisocial behaviors, injuries to students, and an unwelcoming learning environment. They include the American Medical Association,[26] the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,[27] the American Psychoanalytic Association,[28] the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP),[29][30] the Society for Adolescent Medicine,[31][32] the American Psychological Association,[33] the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health,[34][35] the Royal College of Psychiatrists,[36] the Canadian Paediatric Society[37] and the Australian Psychological Society,[38] as well as the United States’ National Association of School Psychologists and National Association of Secondary School Principals.[39][40]
Adult spanking [ edit ]
Most spanking performed between adults in the 21st century within the Western world is erotic spanking.
Within the early 20th century men spanking their wives and girlfriends was often seen as an acceptable form of domestic discipline. It was a common trope in American films, from the earliest days up through the 1960s, and was often used to allude romance between the man and woman.[41]
In the early 21st century, adherents of a small subculture known as Christian domestic discipline have on a literalist interpretation of the Bible justified spanking as a form of acceptable punishment of women by their husbands.[42] Critics describe such practices as a form of domestic abuse.[43]
Non-erotic corporal punishment of women by their husbands, including spanking, is still prevalent in some parts of the world such as India.[44]
Ritual spanking traditions [ edit ]
Asia [ edit ]
On the first day of the lunar Chinese new year holidays, a week-long ‘Spring Festival’, the most important festival for Chinese people all over the world, thousands of Chinese visit the Taoist Dong Lung Gong temple in Tungkang to go through the century-old ritual to get rid of bad luck. Men traditionally receive spankings and women get whipped, with the number of strokes to be administered (always lightly) by the temple staff being decided in either case by the god Wang Ye and by burning incense and tossing two pieces of wood, after which all go home happily, believing their luck will improve.[45]
Europe [ edit ]
On Easter Monday, there is a Slavic tradition of spanking girls and young ladies with woven willow switches (Czech: pomlázka; Slovak: korbáč) and dousing them with water.[46][47][48]
In Slovenia, there is a jocular tradition that anyone who succeeds in climbing to the top of Mount Triglav receives a spanking or birching.[49]
North America [ edit ]
Birthday spanking is a tradition within some parts of the United States. Within the tradition an individual (commonly, though not exclusively, a child) upon their birthday receives, typically corresponding to their age, a number of spanks. Characteristically these spankings are playful, and are administered in such a fashion so the recipient receives no or only minor discomfort.
See also [ edit ]
References [ edit ]
Notes
Spanking Can Be an Appropriate Form of Child Discipline
NFL running back Adrian Peterson’s recent arrest for allegedly abusing his four-year-old son has once again sparked the debate over whether spanking is an appropriate form of discipline. Though some contend any form of physical correction equates to child abuse, there is a giant chasm between a mild spanking properly administered out of love and an out-of-control adult venting their emotions by physically abusing a child.
At Focus on the Family we believe that parents have been entrusted with the incredible privilege and responsibility of shaping their children’s behavior in a positive direction. Unfortunately, each of us enters this world with desires that are selfish, unkind, and harmful to others and ourselves. Spanking, then, can be one effective discipline option among several in a parents’ tool chest as they seek to steer their children away from negative behaviors and guide them toward ultimately becoming responsible, healthy, happy adults.
It is vital, however, that spanking be administered within proper guidelines. The reports about the punishment meted out by Peterson to his son, and the consequent injuries his son suffered, indicate his behavior on that occasion was far outside those boundaries. These kinds of experiences are why this whole issue is fraught with controversy – a child should never be abused.
Properly understood and administered, spanking is most effective as a deterrent to undesirable behavior for younger preschoolers (but never for infants). That’s because reasoning and taking away privileges often simply don’t work with kids in that age range. As children age, spanking should become even less frequent as other types of consequences are utilized. Spanking should be phased out completely before adolescence.
Generally speaking, we advise parents that corporal discipline should only be applied in cases of willful disobedience or defiance of authority—never for mere childish irresponsibility. And it should never be administered harshly, impulsively, or with the potential to cause physical harm. Along those lines, we caution parents who have a hard time controlling their temper to choose alternative forms of discipline. There is never an excuse or an occasion to abuse a child.
For parents who do choose to spank, the proper philosophy and approach is extremely important. Too begin with, as with all forms of correction, the concepts of punishment and discipline are absolute opposites. Punishment is motivated by anger, focuses on the past, and results in either compliance (due to fear) or rebellion and feelings of shame, guilt and/or hostility. On the other hand, discipline is motivated by love for the child, focuses on the future, and results in obedience and feelings of security.
This is because the term discipline derives from the root word “disciple” which means “to teach.” Parents have an ongoing opportunity and responsibility to teach our children how to love well and live life as effectively and healthfully as possible. What we want children to understand is that the gentle sting of a spanking is connected to the greater and often long-term pain of harmful choices. Simply put, prevention is easier than cure.
A child should always receive a clear warning before any offense that might merit a spanking and understand why they are receiving this disciplinary action. If he or she deliberately disobeys, the child should be informed of the upcoming spanking and escorted to a private area. The spanking should be lovingly administered in a clear and consistent manner. Afterward, the lesson should be gently reiterated so that the child understands and learns from this teachable experience.
Many parents today view themselves primarily as their child’s friend and recoil at the idea of administering discipline. Children, though, desperately need their parents’ love and affirmation as well as their authoritative guidance and correction. Disciplining our sons and daughters is part of the tough work of parenting, but it will pay big dividends in the long run.
The author of the Bible’s book of Hebrews writes, “No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on however, it yields the fruit of peace and righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11, HCSB). So spanking, when used judiciously, appropriately, and in combination with other disciplinary techniques, can be a helpful part of training our children.
Let me offer a final word on the national tragedy of child abuse. I oversee Focus on the Family��s counseling department, and my colleagues and I deal with the fallout from those who were abused as children on a daily basis. The pain from these horrific memories lingers with many of these individuals for a lifetime. Abusing a vulnerable child is always, and extremely, damaging and wrong.
That’s why my heart goes out to Adrian Peterson’s young son. Peterson has apologized for his behavior and expressed his desire to be a good father to his son, to, in his words, “teach my son right from wrong.” I earnestly hope he has learned from this serious mistake, and I wish him well in his desire to be a good father.
Parenting is a hard job. None of us do it perfectly. And to make it even more challenging, none of our kids come with an instruction manual attached. But our children need us to do it to the best of our ability, with all the wisdom, love, gentleness and strength we can muster. We won’t go wrong if we exercise a firm and consistent hand with a soft and loving heart.
Dr. Jared Pingleton is a clinical psychologist and minister and serves as the director for Focus on the Family’s Counseling department. In this role, he provides leadership for the 13 licensed mental health professionals and two ordained chaplains who offer guidance and resources to people facing a variety of circumstances.
Contact us at [email protected].
How do you ask for a spanking?
It is easy, ask whom ever you want to spank you that “I want a spanking”, if they back off and don’t want to spank you “I want a spanking beacuse… I was naughty when… I feel gulity and I want you to spank me over your knee with your hand with my naked bottom showing.” You should ask the person that you offended to spank you.
“Hon? I know this may sound a little strange, but would you be willing to give me a little spanking? It would be a turn-on for me.”
There are three possible responses:
“That’s sick!”
“I don’t want to hurt you, dear.”
“Get on my lap!”
Your answers:
“No, it’s not sick. It’s just something I want, but if you don’t want to, that’s all right. Forget I asked.”
“You won’t. If it hurts, I’ll tell you to stop.”
“I love you!”
By phrasing the question “mom’s boyfriend,” you are insinuating asking a father figure for a spanking. This can be a very difficult and nerve-racking endeavor. The manner in which you ask him will vary greatly in congruency with your situation. It depends on a number of factors. Take these into account when you ask him. Have you been spanked by a previous father or father figure (such as uncle, grandfather, and so on)? Have you been spanked by your mom, or anyone else? Are any of your current friends or other relatives spanked? Has he used other forms of discipline on your (making you write lines, grounding you, taking away items and/or privileges), and have they proved unsuccessful? Does he implicitly mention spanking, in general terms? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you might want to bring those facts up in conversation. If you and your current father figure discuss your behavior often, you might want to introduce him spanking you if you believe that will improve your behavior. Also, if your father figure mentions that you have a lack of respect for him, you can suggest that he spanking you could heighten your respect of and for him.
If your father figure does not seem comfortable with the idea, but you still believe it to be in your best interest, make sure to stress that notion. Tell him that he doesn’t necessarily have to spank you on the bare buttocks or on the underwear if that makes him uncomfortable. Tell him that he can spank you sparingly until the two of you become used to it; after all, you being spanked by him will also get some getting used to as each spanker (the one giving the spanking) and spankee (the one receiving the spanking) is a bit different. If you are spanked by someone else, you can suggest that your father figure watch a spanking he or she gives you in order to understand what is entailed in a regular spanking. Or, your father figure can ask the person who spanks you questions so that he can know what should be expected of him in the spanker-spankee relationship. You can suggest that entering into a spanker-spankee relationship can often make the father figure and child grow closer together.
These are just a few ideas to bring to the table when you bring up the topic of spanking to your father figure.
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