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Contents
How do you get your twin flame to talk to you?
1) Don’t try to make it too big a deal
Even if your twin flame is willing to talk to you again, you should probably not do anything that might scare them away. So keep all those dramatics at bay. Stay calm, keep it casual. Don’t make your feelings way, way too obvious or you might end up scaring them off again.
What do you call your twin flame?
Definition: A twin flame is an intense soul connection with someone thought to be a person’s other half, sometimes called a “mirror soul.” It’s based on the idea that sometimes one soul gets split into two bodies.
How do you tell your twin flame how you feel?
- sense that you’re meeting yourself.
- multiple similarities, sometimes uncanny.
- deep connection.
- desire to grow.
- prioritization of growth over being in a relationship.
- the meeting signifies a major change in your life.
How do you know your twin flame is near?
- You feel an intense pull towards certain places. …
- You feel an unexplained exhilaration. …
- Your twin flame is constantly on your mind. …
- You feel complete. …
- You sense your twin soul around you. …
- You are dreaming about them. …
- You witness the code of spiritual awakening.
Why do twin Flames stop talking?
Generally, the twin flame doesn’t talk because he/she feels overwhelmed by the intensity of this powerful bond. Twin flames are meant to be together and this obstacle can be overcome.
Why do twin flames ignore you?
1) They’re mirroring you
You reflect in one another your own deepest darkest issues that need resolving. That’s why when twin flames ignore one another, they are actually mirroring something much bigger. Whatever the fear is that has caused the disconnection with your twin flame most likely exists within you too.
Are twin flames the same age?
Twin flames are not your average 3D relationship and your age in this lifetime really doesn’t mean what it would in a ‘normal’ relationship. Sometimes you might both start a new lifetime at the same age but more often than not, this isn’t the case. It’s perfectly normal for twin flames to have an age difference.
Do twin flames always come back?
The thing to remember here is that it’s never permanent. You and your twin flame will always find a way back to each other. Whether it’s a week, a month, years, or decades, you will find a way back.
Which is stronger twin flame or soulmate?
While soul mate relationships are often less intense, twin flame relationships can be extremely chaotic. “Twin flame relationships can be much deeper and more profound than a soul mate partnership because they lead to wholeness,” Kaiser says—but that’s if both people have done their soul’s work.
Do twin flames obsess about each other?
They are often obsessed with the person they deem to be their twin, unable to focus on anything else. The focus is more on that person reciprocating feelings by acknowledging there is some divine connection between them.
Do twin flames feel each others energy?
Twin Flames share the same chakra system. The mental, emotional and casual body is one, (shown in the pic) therefore it is possible to sense them, feel them and hear them. It is quite a strong and intense feeling. You may feel their presence strongly as if they are sitting next to you!
How do you know if your twin flame misses you?
Dreaming about someone is a common telepathic sign that they’re thinking of you. If you miss your twin flame and are thinking about them all the time, they’ll dream of you. If you are dreaming of them, well, it means that they miss you too! It’s even possible that you could share the same dream.
What does 1111 mean for twin flames?
The numerology of the number 11 is very powerful: It’s considered a “master” number, an angel number, and is associated with higher spiritual consciousness, manifesting abundance, and soul growth — and it’s thought that 11/11 is a powerful day that will give everyone the opportunity to connect with their higher self …
Do twin flames have similar birthdays?
6. There is synchronicity in each others birthdays. Twin-Flames also share familiarity between birthdays, they may be born on the same month, of the same year, or born on the same calendar day, born on different day but born at the same time. All of which are indications the two souls were one.
What happens when twin flame runner awakens?
When the twin flame runner goes through an awakening of consciousness he/she begins to perceive reality differently. The twin flame runner understands that he/she can only be happy if he/she is next to his/her twin flame chaser. They are two souls sharing the same energy essence.
How do you know if your twin flame misses you?
Dreaming about someone is a common telepathic sign that they’re thinking of you. If you miss your twin flame and are thinking about them all the time, they’ll dream of you. If you are dreaming of them, well, it means that they miss you too! It’s even possible that you could share the same dream.
Can you feel your twin flame presence?
Twin Flames share the same chakra system. The mental, emotional and casual body is one, (shown in the pic) therefore it is possible to sense them, feel them and hear them. It is quite a strong and intense feeling. You may feel their presence strongly as if they are sitting next to you!
What does the twin flame runner feel when the chaser finally moves on?
It can feel like the beginning of the end.
Often I hear people tell me they’re ready to move on and give up on ever being together with their twin but I get to chuckle a little to myself when I hear this. It’s really the beginning of the next step.
What happens when twin flame runner awakens?
When the twin flame runner goes through an awakening of consciousness he/she begins to perceive reality differently. The twin flame runner understands that he/she can only be happy if he/she is next to his/her twin flame chaser. They are two souls sharing the same energy essence.
How To Call Your Twin Flame To You
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- Table of Contents:
How To Call Your Twin Flame To You
Prepare Your Surroundings
Enter A Meditative State
Call Upon Your Spirit Guides
Harness The Twin Flame Connection
“My twin flame won’t talk to me”: 6 things you can do about it – Hack Spirit
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- Table of Contents:
1) Give them space (you have no choice anyway)
2) Keep things light
3) A real psychic confirms it
4) Distract yourself with friends and hobbies
5) Get their attention using the hero instinct
6) Do some self-reflection too
But what about when you finally get to talk to them again
But what if you fail
Putting yourself first
Written by Lachlan Brown
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Twin Flames: What They Are + 11 Signs You’ve Found Yours
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11 signs you’ve found your twin flame
The 8 stages of a twin flame relationship
How are twin flames different from soul mates
Frequently Asked Questions
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How To Tell If You’ve Met Your Twin Flame and What to Do Next
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What is a twin flame
Signs of a twin flame
Twin flame test
Stages of twin flames
Love and relationships
Twin flame vs soulmate
Can you have more than one
Is it common
Twin flame telepathy
Separation
Things to keep in mind
Takeaway
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11 Powerful Ways to Call in Your Twin Flame
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9) Try less
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how to call your twin flame to you
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How to Call In Your Twin Flame
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1) You dream about your twin flame even before you meet in person
2) You feel drawn to them
3) A gifted advisor confirms it
4) You feel a strong unexplainable connection with someone you just met
5) You feel body sensations when you meet your twin flame
6) You know what they think and feel without them saying a word
7) You recognize them
8) You experience intense emotions
9) You can sense when they feel pain
10) Your insecurities and doubts are amplified
11) You’re inspired to be better
12) You keep coming back to each other
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How To Call Your Twin Flame To You
We share a spiritual connection with our twin flame stronger than any other bond we may share with anyone else.
The strength of this connection – or silver cord, as it is often described – allows us to communicate telepathically with our twin flame.
And sometimes we want to use this telepathic connection to attract our twin flame.
How To Call Your Twin Flame To You?
But how can we do that? How can we call our twin flame to us? Well, follow these steps, and you will be able to do just that.
Prepare Your Surroundings
The first thing you need to do is prepare your surroundings.
Find a sweet, quiet spot – preferably at home, but perhaps in nature instead – and find a comfortable position. Stay there a while and try to concentrate on the energies in your chosen spot.
Listen to your intuition. Are there any negative energies? No? Perfect. If there are, find a new spot and repeat. But when you have a place clear of negative energies, this step is almost complete.
Before we continue, we should gather some scents and crystals to aid us. This is not strictly necessary, but for the first try, it is highly recommended.
We like to recommend the use of lemon scents and rose quartz crystals for help with focusing on your twin flame.
Enter A Meditative State
With your area prepared and a comfortable position found, enter a meditative state.
There are a great many guides on how to do this so go ahead and look up a more detailed guide to meditation if you have not done it before.
Not only is it useful in this circumstance, but for your spiritual growth in general.
But, highly simplified, the idea is to concentrate on your own body, feeling your breath as it enters and leaves your body, and becoming one with your subtle body in order to reach your spiritual mind.
Call Upon Your Spirit Guides
You must then call upon your spirit guides to help us with the final step.
Mantras and affirmations help with this. The content of the mantra does not mean as much as people tend to think – it does not matter how well you word the mantra, only the strength of the intent behind it matters.
Say what you can say it with conviction, word it how your heart words it, and ask your spirit guides for assistance in harnessing the silver cord.
Harness The Twin Flame Connection
The silver cord is the twin flame connection. It stretches from the centre of the chest where the heart chakra is located and extends across the spiritual plane where it connects with the heart chakra of your twin flame.
Visualise this connection as a silver beam of energy through which your thoughts and emotions may travel.
And once you have visualised it, and you can feel it, and you feel confident it is in your grasp, send your message.
Whatever that message is, it will reach your twin flame. Like a dog that catches a whiff of a string of sausages in a stranger’s pocket, they will be unable to ignore the impulse to follow.
“My twin flame won’t talk to me”: 6 things you can do about it
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It sucks when someone you like is ignoring you.
And when that person is your twin flame? It’s just the worst feeling in the world!
There’s no easy answer why your twin flame is ignoring you — sometimes they don’t even know why — but don’t fret. You might just be getting into another phase of your twin flame relationship.
Of course, you must take care not to smother them with your presence or else you’ll end up pushing them even further away, and you don’t want that.
In this article, I will instead tell you about the things you can do when your twin flame isn’t talking to you and help you figure out why they’re pulling away.
1) Give them space (you have no choice anyway)
The thing with Twin Flame relationships is that they’re charged full of energy, and that energy isn’t always good.
Sometimes it can be so overwhelming that it leaves your twin flame scared, confused, and exhausted. And when those energies snap, your twin flame will suddenly find it a good idea to start running away,
This is called soul shock. It’s one of the first steps leading into the start of a Twin Flame Runner Dynamic, where one of you — often the feminine aspect — plays the role of the chaser while the other, often the masculine aspect, plays the role of the runner.
Soul Shock can happen during your first meeting when a spark goes off just right, or during big arguments in an established relationship where you butt your philosophies at each other.
And in times like these, when they pull away from the shock, it’s best to give your twin flame some space to breathe and work out their emotions.
2) Keep things light
But aren’t you supposed to chase them? After all, your role is that of the chaser?
Some people will see and know the signs for what they are — maybe it’s how you realized that they’re your twin flame, even — but “some” is not everyone and those who aren’t aware will flee.
In fact, the runner in the twin flame relationship runs usually because they aren’t aware of what they’re in.
And being the chaser doesn’t mean you have to be going after them every minute of every day.
The runner is scared, and going after them like a bloodhound will only make it worse.
So give them some space but also try to reach out when you can! Just don’t flood them with a hundred messages a day.
Throw them a message or two wishing them well and asking how they are.
Also, pay extra close attention to what you’re saying. Think and reread what you’ve written before you press that ‘send’ button.
3) A real psychic confirms it
The signs I’m revealing in this article will give you a good idea of what to do when your twin flame is ignoring you.
But could you get even more clarity by speaking to a real psychic?
Clearly, you have to find someone you can trust. With so many fake psychics out there, it’s important to have a pretty good BS detector.
After going through a messy break up, I recently tried Psychic Source. They provided me the guidance I needed in life, including who I am meant to be with.
I was actually blown away by how kind, caring and knowledgeable they were.
Click here to get your own love reading.
A gifted advisor can not only tell you the best way to reconnect with your twin flame and end their silence, but they can also reveal all your love possibilities.
4) Distract yourself with friends and hobbies
Worrying too much about your twin flame — “will they answer?”, “did they see your 15th message?” — is going to drive you nuts!
If you keep on worrying about your twin flame’s responses to your messages, you’ll be tempted to send them more messages. And when you’re met with silence or annoyance?
It’s going to ruin you!
It’ll hurt and you’ll start thinking all sorts of dark things.
Honestly, until your twin flame decides to open up to you, there’s little you can really do but wait.
Until then, it’s important to keep yourself grounded by talking with friends and indulging in your hobbies again.
Again, this doesn’t mean you should forget or neglect your twin flame. It means you just have to live life in the present and stop waiting anxiously for anything — yep, twin flame included.
5) Get their attention using the hero instinct
Your twin flame isn’t responding to you because they don’t have a reason to. You’ve got to send something their way that’ll capture their attention AND get a response from them.
So what is the hero instinct and how can it help you?
Well, it’s quite simple, really.
There are three main drivers that all men have, deeply ingrained in their DNA. When these drivers are triggered, they feel content, secure, and happy. They also take more notice of the woman triggering these feelings.
This comes from a revolutionary concept called the hero instinct, coined by relationship expert James Bauer.
Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”. Will your twin flame really need to feel like a hero just to talk to you again?
No. It has nothing to do with Marvel Studios. There’s no need to play the damsel in distress to attract him back into your life.
Making him feel like a hero triggers innate feelings – feelings so deep that he’ll get over whatever is stopping him from talking to you.
So what do you need to do?
It’s easy – just make small changes to how you treat him. When you awaken his inner hero, forget about him ignoring you, he won’t be able to stay away!
And the best way to do this is by checking out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending a 12 word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.
That’s the beauty of the concept — it’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to him to not only end his painful silence but also make your feelings mutual.
All of that and more is revealed in this simple and genuine explanation of the hero instinct. Make sure to watch the video before making your move.
Here’s a link to the free video again.
6) Do some self-reflection too
Unless your twin flame is not yet evolved, they won’t go cold on you or ghost you for nothing.
When you’re in a stable state of mind, try to think about why your twin flame might be avoiding you.
It’s important that you take the time to reflect as this leads to the growth and change that is at the heart of the Twin Flame dynamic.
Twin flames reflect off of each other. They force each other to confront the good and the bad that exists within themselves. Twin flames help each other become the best they can be and achieve an elevation in your mutual egoic levels.
Have you done anything at all that could’ve pushed them away?
If you just couldn’t think of any reason, maybe the universe is telling you to think more deeply…to broaden your perspective.
And even if you could find a somewhat obvious reason, say, you and your twin flame getting into an argument that both of you were too hard-headed to give up on, you must try and look deeper. Sometimes things can be more than what they may seem sometimes.
And who knows, maybe your twin flame is also keeping their distance because you reflected to them a flaw that they realized they needed to fix in themselves.
Once you have identified what needs working on, you can then take steps to fix it so that the next time you get together with your twin flame, you’re not going to butt each other on the head over the same old issues.
But what about when you finally get to talk to them again?
So let’s say your waiting paid off, and your twin flame reached out to you or they responded to your attempts at reaching out to them.
What do you do now?
1) Don’t try to make it too big a deal
Even if your twin flame is willing to talk to you again, you should probably not do anything that might scare them away. So keep all those dramatics at bay.
Stay calm, keep it casual.
Don’t make your feelings way, way too obvious or you might end up scaring them off again.
You have to understand and let them understand that this is the twin flame dynamic and it’s necessary for both of you to grow.
Whatever feelings they might have, don’t drown it away with too much of your own. Don’t think of your conversations as being about you. Think of it as being about them.
Even if they feel about you the same way you feel about them, it’s best to let them come to that conclusion themselves. At least for now.
2) Listen to them with all ears and eyes and heart
There’s a big difference between talking to people and talking with people, and you’ll want to talk with your twin flame, not to them.
Go with the flow of conversation and trust them. Don’t judge and don’t try to get defensive.
Even if you end up thinking things like “Man, that’s so unfair! That’s not how it happened!” or “This is ridiculous!”, shut up and let them talk. Again, at least at first.
3) Put yourself in their shoes (no really, do it!)
Set aside any excuses and arguments on your end and try to understand that what your twin flame is telling you is how they perceive your actions.
All too often, we end up getting too stuck in our own perspectives that we forget or fail to see how others see us.
Remember that these talks are not about logic. They’re about emotions, feelings, perceptions. Don’t dismiss or ignore something they said simply because it doesn’t make sense to you.
If it looks like you’re in the wrong, even if you don’t agree, apologize and be sincere about it. Don’t go “I’m sorry, but…” — your apology should never come with a but.
Apologies should be unconditional.
4) But of course, tell them how their pulling away affected you
You’re a twin flame, their equal, not a doormat.
When they’re done, try to offer your side. But, as I have just said, again and again, be careful.
Don’t try to invalidate what they have told you, or say things in a way that might paint them in an unnecessarily bad light. However, you have to communicate how you feel, too.
It’s all in the delivery.
Once they’ve vomited their bad feelings, ask them if you can talk. Then explain your side and how you feel.
Say “I” instead of “You”:
“I felt…”, “I think” versus “You’re like this” and “You’re like that”
Don’t be so certain about stuff.
Say:
“Maybe I’m wrong but…” or “ Sorry if I sound whiny but…”
5) Don’t demand an apology
Wait for them to give one themselves, and acknowledge it if they do. But don’t be too upset if they aren’t willing to give you one.
A respectful conversation with you and your twin flame talking with one another — listening to one another, trying to understand each other’s perspectives and emotions — is what you want to achieve.
This can lead to good personal growth for both of you and builds the foundations of a stronger, more stable relationship.
#6 Try to compromise
Now that you both understand each other’s grievances (if there are any at all!), then work on a compromise.
This can be rough so be ready! Sometimes you’ll need to settle on a compromise that will leave you with less than you wanted. But… maybe being able to accept such compromises was the point in the first place.
Would you rather your twin flame be gone out of your life completely or would you be alright with some restrictions just to keep their company?
Such a situation would have to be negotiated between you and your twin flame because different pairs will have different levels of tolerance.
Try to put any lessons you’ve learned from your self-reflections here. This is the culmination of this episode of your journey with your twin flame.
The conclusion of the runner-chaser dynamic you have been playing, and this is where you give it meaning.
There will be more episodes later. So long as there remains room for you to grow, there will be more conflicts and lessons for you to face together. Maybe next time YOU will be the runner, and they’ll be the chaser.
But what if you fail?
You can try for a compromise. However, trying for something does not mean you’re going to be guaranteed to get it.
Sometimes you just can’t find a middle ground between you and your twin flame and sometimes it’s just better to say goodbye.
Think about it like this: It could be that they weren’t your twin flame after all.
Or, it could be that they are indeed your twin flame, and their chapter in your life is over.
See, twin flames are not necessarily meant to be there to be your forever lover.
In fact, given that twin flames often reflect the worst traits, fears, and traumas right back at each other means that while they help each other grow, their relationship is going to be incredibly volatile.
While it’s possible for twin flames to remain close friends or lovers in their journey together, more often than not that volatility will end up pushing them apart once their role in each other’s lives is over with.
In that case, it could be that your twin flame’s presence in your life is to prepare you for your true love.
Maybe you’re brought together by the universe so you can see your flaws and fix them for the person who’s actually meant for you.
So even if you do end up saying goodbye to your twin flame, don’t be too sad— be grateful instead of their presence in your life, no matter how brief or enduring.
Putting yourself first Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here. What’s your number one goal at the moment? Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for? To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day? Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in? Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan. And even then…plans fail. But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom… No, I’m writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals you’ve set. I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown. Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action. She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life. Click here to find out more about Life Journal. So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message. How much do you want it? Are you willing to put the effort in to get there? If so, check out the workshop here. If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes! All the best,
Lachlan
Disclosure: This post is brought to you by the Hack Spirit review team. In our reviews, Hack Spirit highlights products and services that you might find interesting. If you buy them, we receive a small commission from that sale. However, we only ever recommend products that we have personally investigated and truly feel could be valuable to you. Read our affiliate disclosure here. We welcome your feedback at [email protected].
How To Tell If You’ve Met Your Twin Flame and What to Do Next
Share on Pinterest Daniel Gonzalez/Stocksy United You’ve heard of soulmates, but what about twin flames? While the two concepts might seem similar, they’re significantly different. While there’s a lack of scientific evidence proving that twin flames exist, some psychologists say the phenomenon is real — and worth exploring.
What is a twin flame? “Twin flames are two halves or mirrors of two different individuals,” says Barbara Spinelli, LP, a therapist, relationship expert, and CEO of Babita Spinelli Group and Opening the Doors Psychotherapy. These individuals tend to have similar strengths and weaknesses and feel intensely connected over something shared — usually over shared pain, she explains. Lisa Vallejos, PhD, LPC, a therapist who specializes in relationships, defines a twin flame as two people who have a deep soul connection. “They seem to mirror one another, have shared similar life paths, history, and sometimes trauma,” she explains. Vallejos credits the term “twin flame” to Elizabeth Clare Prophet, a leader of the Summit Lighthouse and the New Age religion known as The Church Universal and Triumphant. Prophet is perhaps best known for calling on her followers to prepare for nuclear Armageddon in the late 1980s. Prophet coined the term “twin flame” in the 1970s, says Vallejos. In 1999, Prophet published the book “Soul Mates and Twin Flames: The Spiritual Dimension of Love and Relationships.” Yet the concept of twin flames goes back much further, Vallejos argues. In the fifth century B.C., Plato wrote in his philosophical text “Symposium” that the Greek god Zeus disempowered humans by splitting us into two halves, male and female. While some scholars say Plato’s writings describe soulmates, “a lot of us use this as background for twin flames,” Vallejos explains. The bottom line Twin flames are believed to be two halves of the same soul. As such, they act as mirrors for each other and can be a great source of reflection and growth.
Still, there’s no scientific evidence that twin flames exist.
Signs of a twin flame There are a few signs psychologists say could point to a twin flame relationship: sense that you’re meeting yourself
multiple similarities, sometimes uncanny
deep connection
desire to grow
prioritization of growth over being in a relationship
the meeting signifies a major change in your life You feel like you’re meeting yourself In a twin flame relationship, “something feels so familiar about the person,” Spinelli says. According, to Spinelli, it may feel: overwhelming
divine
magnetic
predestined You may even think you can feel the other person’s emotions. “The number one thing is that it’s undeniably familiar, like… you’ve known them forever. There’s a comfort that seems uncanny,” Vallejos says. You notice lots of similarities “There can be a lot of mirroring of life experiences,” Vallejos says. For example, if you had a traumatic childhood, your twin flame may have as well. That might not always mean the person is an exact mirror image of you. “Twin flames show you your fears and insecurities, but they can also show you how to overcome them,” Spinelli explains. “They just encourage you to look at those things more completely.” You feel connected or close on a deep level “There’s often a deep longing and yearning,” Spinelli says. “You might find yourself chasing each other.” They make you want to be better Twin flames help you to work through your triggers, insecurities, and challenges, per Spinelli. For example, if you have avoidant attachment in your relationships and your twin flame isn’t good at communication, you might begin to ask yourself why you’re chasing this person. “You notice there are things you feel insecure about,” Spinelli says. Your twin flame forces you to ask why. You’re more interested in individual growth than coupledom In a true twin flame relationship, both people feel committed to act in the highest interest of themselves and this other person, Vallejos says. In false twin flame relationships, people may act in a way that’s in their own self-interest, not their twin flame’s. “They don’t care if they’re married. They’re supposed to be with [you], without understanding that decision could be destructive to a lot of people,” Vallejos explains. Your life changes quickly A twin flame relationship can be rapidly transformational. You might’ve thought you’d be doing one thing, but, suddenly, you’re changing careers or moving across the country. “It’s completely unexpected and out of nowhere,” Vallejos says.
Twin flame test Here are a few questions you can ask yourself to “test” if a person is your true twin flame: What is it about this person that attracts me or feels familiar? Is that necessarily positive?
What do I notice about myself when I’m with this person?
Do I really believe this is a sacred connection? Or is a past trauma activated when I’m around the person?
Do I feel thrilled — or panicked?
Stages of twin flames The stages in a twin flame relationship are similar to other relationships, with a few exceptions, Spinelli notes. These stages are: immediate connection (the honeymoon phase)
exploring, integration, and healing
decision
acceptance and release Immediate connection (the honeymoon phase) Unlike other relationships that often take time to cultivate, Spinelli says most people recognize another person is their twin flame the first time they meet. They feel an immediate connection. However, you might not realize the person is your twin flame until years later, Vallejos adds. “It’s exhilaration, or an overwhelming feeling that you’ve found this person who feels like home,” Spinelli says. The meeting is also unplanned. According to Vallejos, you may cross paths in a way that can’t be predicted. Exploring, integration, and healing Following the immediate connection, you may begin to recognize the person’s faults, noticing disappointments and having arguments. You may also recognize the other person’s faults in yourself. “It puts a spotlight on the things you need to work on,” Vallejos says. It’s not that you dislike the person or feel angry, she adds. Instead, their actions emphasize your own behavior that you want to change. This results in rapid-fire transformation. Decision Two individuals may then decide to work on and stay in a relationship. Or the relationship may result in a separation, Spinelli says. Acceptance and release No matter if you stay with your twin flame or your paths part, the person remains sacred to you. “Instead of clinging to when they’re coming back, you accept that whatever happens, happens, because your souls are united. Whatever form it takes is still beautiful,” Vallejos says.
Love and relationships With a true twin flame relationship, people experience an unconditional love that doesn’t make sense. “It’s unshakable,” Vallejos says. “You know no one in the world will ever occupy the space they occupy. It’s not that they can’t do wrong, but there’s nothing they could ever do [to] make you not love them.” Unhealthy aspects That said, twin flames don’t always result in a healthy long-term relationship. That may mean that you aren’t meant to ultimately stay with the person. You have to ask yourself if the person is healthy or right for you, Spinelli says. Both Spinelli and Vallejos say it’s also common to mistake an unhealthy relationship with a twin flame. Due to the intense connection, people tend to confuse a twin flame relationship with a relationship involving a narcissist. “Narcissistic and codependent relationship styles look a lot like what people think are twin flames,” Vallejos says. “People often think it’s a twin flame when they’re having a codependent trauma response.” For example, if you have an insecure attachment to your parents, you could be acting it out in an intense and tumultuous relationship with a narcissist whom you mistake for your twin flame. Twin flame relationships can feel intense and activating, but it’s safe and thrilling. In an unhealthy relationship, you can feel terrified. “It’s the difference between going up to the top of a roller coaster versus being carried out to sea,” Vallejos explains. The bottom line Twin flames may share a profound sense of unconditional love for each other. This doesn’t mean they’re meant to be together, or that their relationship will express itself in healthy ways.
Narcissistic and codependent relationships are often mistaken for twin flames because of their intensity.
Twin flame vs. soulmate Both twin flames and soulmates can occur in either romantic or platonic relationships, including between family members, say experts. While these relationships seem similar on the surface, they’re not the same. Twin flames are seen as a soul that’s been split in two. According to Spinelli, soulmates are two separate souls “that are coming together in a way that feels destined.” While twin flames are often mirror images, soulmates often complement each other. “They’re more like kindred spirits,” Spinelli says. Soulmate relationships tend to feel very comfortable and supportive. Twin flame relationships, on the other hand, tend to be the opposite. “They come into your life and expose all the things that were issues for you: your traumas or growth edges,” Vallejos says. “Most people feel their world has been completely upended.” This can lead to personal awakening. “[Twin flames] are often there because they’re supposed to be part of your growth and healing and teach you something,” Spinelli says, adding that people may overlook the unhealthy part of twin flame relationships. “[You] don’t want to see these aspects in yourself, because you’re so attracted to the other person and feel so connected,” Spinelli continues. “That can lead to codependency or boundary crossing — where do they start and you begin? That’s not usually the case with a soulmate.” The bottom line Twin flames are considered to be one soul split in two, while soulmates are two souls that share a profound connection.
Can you have more than one? Spinelli thinks it’s possible to have more than one twin flame. “I think you have a myriad of relationships in life that come and go. It’s how you evolve in life… and everyone has a place in your life,” she says.
Is it common? Authentic twin flame relationships aren’t common, says Vallejos. “There’s a quantifiable difference between overly romanticizing a relationship and a real twin flame, which really is an ascending transformational connection,” she says. In an authentic twin flame relationship, two people are focused on their individual spiritual growth. In an unhealthy relationship confused for a twin flame connection, people are overly focused on simply being with the perceived twin at all costs.
Twin flame telepathy It may be possible to suspect that anyone you’re very close to is thinking about you, including your twin flame. You may even “telepathically” communicate your thoughts or emotions without using words. “I do think that you can feel the same emotions,” Spinelli says. There’s controversial and evolving research that suggests conscious “brain-to-brain communication” is possible between humans. However, this research involves a technological interface: messages that are encoded and transmitted via magnetic stimulation of certain areas of the brain. There may be a simpler explanation of feeling like you can “read” another person’s mind: You’re very close and have a heightened awareness of the person. You become very good at reading their body language. This could be in part due to mirror neurons, which are thought to give humans empathy. “It’s attunement. You’re picking up on things,” Spinelli says. “It’s referred to as ‘uncanny’ in the therapeutic space. You’ll be thinking something, and they’ll say it.” The bottom line You may feel a heightened connection with your twin flame, like reading each other’s moods or finishing each other’s sentences. However, there’s no scientific evidence to support the existence of telepathy.
Separation Separation from a twin flame may happen because both people are already married, a twin flame dies, or one person simply needs space, Vallejos says. The experience may seem like the most intense and painful loss you’ve ever experienced. “It feels like there’s a part of you missing, or like something’s died,” says Spinelli. You may experience the stages of grief. “You may feel denial or anger. It’s a huge painful loss, and you may question whether it could work out,” Spinelli says. While you may want to continue trying to connect with that person, even if they’re not right for you, it’s important to take steps to move on. “That’s when individuals often come in for therapy. They can’t seem to move on from this,” Spinelli says. Remember: People often learn best when they’re challenged. “Sometimes, it takes loss for people to dive in and do the hard work [of] recognizing their own traumas and patterns,” Vallejos explains. Also, keep in mind that every person in your life has a time and a place. “Understand that you need to get through the process,” Spinelli says. “And it doesn’t mean the connection wasn’t real. You’ve learned something from this relationship and experienced love in a different way.” “Sometimes, it takes loss for people to dive in and do the hard work [of] recognizing their own traumas and patterns,” Vallejos explains.
Things to keep in mind Twin flames can be confused with codependent relationships with narcissists. “Narcissists are very good at picking up on people’s unmet needs and desires and reflecting back to them. That’s how they survive and cope with the world,” Vallejos says. A narcissist will typically overload their target with adulation, affection, and romance, making you feel like you’re the most important person in the world. However, the narcissist eventually reaches a discard phase. They find a new target, and they dismiss you and tear you down. “It can be subtle,” Vallejos says. “Then the person who is the victim of the narcissist will want that high again, so they start chasing praise.” The problem: It’s much more common to be in a relationship with a narcissist than with your twin flame. Twin flame relationships have even been misappropriated to describe relationships with narcissists. Specifically, Vallejos cites “the runner and chaser phase” that’s sometimes used to describe twin flame relationships, where one person flees an intense relationship, and it’s up to the other person to catch them. “In my professional psychological opinion, it’s a way that people romanticize unhealthy relationship dynamics and use the label ‘twin flame’ to justify it,” she says. The belief in a twin flame can also lead people to behave in unsafe ways. “I’ve seen people stalking or obsessing over their twin flame or perceived twin flame,” Vallejos says. “The perceived twin flame had to file a restraining order.” Another risk of believing in a twin flame is that it might lead you to discount another healthier relationship. “I’ve seen people delay marriage because they think they’re supposed to be with their twin flame. They keep waiting and their opportunity to have kids passes, or they end up staying alone for 20 years waiting for this person,” Vallejos says. It’s much more common to be in a relationship with a narcissist than with your twin flame.
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