Top 20 How To Come Out As A Crossdresser All Answers

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What is the cause of cross-dressing?

Cross-dressing is done for many reasons, including a desire to subvert gender norms. It can be seen as an act of sexual liberation or an exploration of one’s gender identity. Most people who experience transvestic disorder are heterosexual men.

What does cross-dressing do?

Cross-dressing is the act of wearing items of clothing not commonly associated with one’s sex. Cross-dressing has been used for purposes of disguise, comfort, comedy, and self-expression in modern times and throughout history.

What is a cross-dressing male?

The term cross-dressing is usually used (but not always) to refer to cisgender, heterosexual men who wear clothing and accessories that are considered feminine or associated with women. Folks might cross dress for fun, for political motives, for sexual reasons, or to entertain.

Is a transvestite and a cross dresser the same thing?

Terminology. The word has undergone several changes of meaning since it was first coined and is still used in a variety of senses. Today, the term transvestite is commonly considered outdated and derogatory, with the term cross-dresser used as a more appropriate replacement.

Is it normal for a boy to dress like a girl?

Should we be worried? Children dressing up as the opposite gender is very common (almost as common, in fact, as parents who are worried about this behavior.) But rest assured, it is perfectly normal. Dressing up and playing pretend is the activity of choice for children of this age.

Is it normal to cross-dress?

Although we haven’t fully recognised it yet, cross-dressing is a very normal thing to do.

What do you call a girl who dresses like a boy?

tomboy Add to list Share. A girl who dresses or acts in a stereotypically boyish way is often called a tomboy.

What is a cross-dresser girl?

noun. a nontransgender person who dresses in clothing typically worn by members of a different sex: I wish Hollywood would stop protraying straight crossdressers like me as the punchline of a cheap joke.

What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a drag queen?

Unlike the secrecy of cross-dressing, in which the attempt is often to pass as a woman, dragging involves performance whereby the intent is an undoing of gender norms through doing (or dressing) the part of the opposite sex. There is a rich literary tradition of men taking stage in women’s clothing.

How many genders are there?

However, gender isn’t about someone’s anatomy, it is about who they know them self to be. There are many different gender identities, including male, female, transgender, gender neutral, non-binary, agender, pangender, genderqueer, two-spirit, third gender, and all, none or a combination of these.

Is there surgery for female to male?

Female-to-male surgery is a type of sex reassignment surgery, which is also called gender affirmation surgery or gender-affirming surgery. This can take different forms, including the removal of breasts — a mastectomy — and the altering of the genital region, known as “bottom” surgery.

What do you call a woman who dresses like a man?

Drag King: A biological female who dresses in “masculine” or male-designated clothing; a female-to-male cross-dresser. Drag Kings often identify as lesbians and many cross-dress for pay and for entertainment purposes in GLBT or straight nightclubs. A Drag King’s cross-dressing is usually on a part-time basis.

When did cross-dressing become legal?

Between 1848 and 1900, 34 cities passed prohibitions against cross-dressing, followed by 11 more in the years leading up to World War I. San Francisco’s law remained in effect until July 1974.

How should a man dress as a woman?

Whether it be dresses, skirts, pants or tops, clothing cut close to the body works best. Embrace darker colors, and be cautious with light or bold ones. Darker colors are going to easily conceal the more masculine elements of your body, thus creating a more convincing illusion.


How To Come Out
How To Come Out


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Cross-dressing – Wikipedia

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Contents

Terminology[edit]

History[edit]

Varieties[edit]

Clothes[edit]

Social issues[edit]

Festivals[edit]

Analysis[edit]

Literature[edit]

Medical views[edit]

See also[edit]

Notes[edit]

References[edit]

Further reading[edit]

External links[edit]

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Understanding cross-dressing | Go Ask Alice!

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Transvestism – Wikipedia

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How to come out as a crossdresser to my family? – GirlsAskGuys

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How to come out as a crossdresser or transgender? – YouTube

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How to come out as a crossdresser or transgender? - YouTube
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How To Come Out – YouTube

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Coming out as a CROSSDRESSER… – YouTube

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How to come out as transgender or crossdresser – YouTube

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What Can You Do After Coming Out?

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Are All Cross Dressers Gay? Transgender? Is It A Sexual Fetish? – Dr. Karen Ruskin – Relationship Expert, Marriage and Family Therapist

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Are All Cross Dressers Gay? Transgender? Is It A Sexual Fetish? – Dr. Karen Ruskin – Relationship Expert, Marriage and Family Therapist
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How to Quit Crossdressing: 7 Steps (with Pictures) – wikiHow

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Contents

Terminology[edit]

History[edit]

Varieties[edit]

Clothes[edit]

Social issues[edit]

Festivals[edit]

Analysis[edit]

Literature[edit]

Medical views[edit]

See also[edit]

Notes[edit]

References[edit]

Further reading[edit]

External links[edit]

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Transvestic Disorder

Transvestic disorder occurs when an individual experiences recurrent, intense sexual arousal from cross-dressing, or dressing as the opposite gender, and in which that person’s urge to do so causes significant distress or impairment to their daily life. Transvestic disorder is a rare diagnosis and is classified as a paraphilia, or atypical sexual behavior.

An individual with transvestic disorder may experience depression, guilt, or shame because of their urge to cross-dress. These feelings are often a result of disapproval from their partner or their own concern about negative social or professional ramifications.

Most people who cross-dress do not fit into the diagnostic standards of transvestic disorder. Cross-dressing is done for many reasons, including a desire to subvert gender norms. It can be seen as an act of sexual liberation or an exploration of one’s gender identity. Most people who experience transvestic disorder are heterosexual men.

One of the most common reasons people seek treatment for transvestic disorder is because it interferes with their romantic relationships or marriages with women.

Cross-dressing

Practice of dressing in a style or manner not traditionally associated with one’s sex

Cross-dressing is the act of wearing items of clothing not commonly associated with one’s sex.[2] Cross-dressing has been used for purposes of disguise, comfort, comedy, and self-expression in modern times and throughout history.

Almost every human society throughout history has had expected norms for each gender relating to style, color, or type of clothing they are expected to wear, and likewise most societies have had a set of guidelines, views or even laws defining what type of clothing is appropriate for each gender.

The term “cross-dressing” refers to an action or a behavior, without attributing or implying any specific causes or motives for that behavior. Cross-dressing is not synonymous with being transgender.

Terminology [ edit ]

The phenomenon of cross-dressing is seen throughout recorded history, being referred to as far back as the Hebrew Bible.[3] The terms to describe it have changed throughout history; the Anglo-Saxon-rooted term “cross-dresser” has largely superseded the Latin-origin term “transvestite”, which has come to be seen as outdated and derogatory.[4][5][6] This is because the latter was historically used to diagnose psychiatric disorders (e.g. transvestic fetishism), but the former was coined by the transgender community.[4][7] The Oxford English Dictionary gives 1911 as the earliest citation of the term “cross-dressing”, by Edward Carpenter: “Cross-dressing must be taken as a general indication of, and a cognate phenomenon to, homosexuality”. In 1928, Havelock Ellis used the two terms “cross-dressing” and “transvestism” interchangeably. The earliest citations for “cross-dress” and “cross-dresser” are 1966 and 1976 respectively.[8]

History [ edit ]

Cross-dressing has been practiced throughout much of recorded history, in many societies, and for many reasons. Examples exist in Greek, Norse, and Hindu mythology. Cross-dressing can be found in theater and religion, such as kabuki, Noh, and Korean shamanism, as well as in folklore, literature, and music. In the British and European context, theatrical troupes (“playing companies”) were all-male, with the female parts undertaken by boy players.

Illustrated London News 1843 Depiction of Welsh labourers dressed in women’s clothing within the Rebecca Riots,1843

The Rebecca Riots took place between 1839 and 1843 in West and Mid Wales.[9] They were a series of protests undertaken by local farmers and agricultural workers in response to unfair taxation. The rioters, often men dressed as women, took their actions against toll-gates, as they were tangible representations of high taxes and tolls. The riots ceased prior to 1844 due to several factors, including increased troop levels, a desire by the protestors to avoid violence and the appearance of criminal groups using the guise of the biblical character Rebecca for their own purposes.[10] In 1844 an Act of Parliament to consolidate and amend the laws relating to turnpike trusts in Wales was passed.

A variety of historical figures are known to have cross-dressed to varying degrees. Many women found they had to disguise themselves as men in order to participate in the wider world. For example, Margaret King cross-dressed in the early 19th century to attend medical school, as none would accept female students. A century later, Vita Sackville-West dressed as a young soldier in order to “walk out” with her girlfriend Violet Keppel, to avoid the street harassment that two women would have faced. The prohibition on women wearing male garb, once strictly applied, still has echoes today in some Western societies which require girls and women to wear skirts, for example as part of school uniform or office dress codes.[11] In some countries, even in casual settings, women are still prohibited from wearing traditionally male clothing. Sometimes all trousers, no matter how loose and long, are automatically considered “indecent”, which may render their wearer subject to severe punishment, as in the case of Lubna al-Hussein in Sudan in 2009.

Varieties [ edit ]

There are many different kinds of cross-dressing and many different reasons why an individual might engage in cross-dressing behavior.[12] Some people cross-dress as a matter of comfort or style, a personal preference for clothing associated with the opposite sex. Some people cross-dress to shock others or challenge social norms; others will limit their cross-dressing to underwear, so that it is not apparent. Some people attempt to pass as a member of the opposite sex in order to gain access to places or resources they would not otherwise be able to reach.

Gender disguise [ edit ]

Gender disguise has been used by women and girls to pass as male, and by men and boys to pass as female. Gender disguise has also been used as a plot device in storytelling, particularly in narrative ballads,[13] and is a recurring motif in literature, theater, and film. Historically, some women have cross-dressed to take up male-dominated or male-exclusive professions, such as military service. Conversely, some men have cross-dressed to escape from mandatory military service[a] or as a disguise to assist in political or social protest, as men in Wales did in the Rebecca Riots and when conducting Ceffyl Pren as a form of mob justice.

Undercover journalism may require cross-dressing, as with Norah Vincent’s project Self-Made Man.

One famous case of gender disguise was when Bernard Boursicot, a French diplomat, was caught in a honeypot trap (seducing him to participate in Chinese espionage) by Shi Pei Pu, a male Peking opera singer who performed female roles, whom Boursicot believed to be female. This espionage case became something of a cause célèbre in France in 1986, as Boursicot and Shi were brought to trial, owing to the nature of the unusual sexual subterfuge alleged.[14]

Some girls in Afghanistan, even after the fall of the Taliban, were still disguised by their families as boys. This is known as bacha posh.[15]

Theater and performance [ edit ]

Single-sex theatrical troupes often have some performers who cross-dress to play roles written for members of the opposite sex (travesti and trouser roles). Cross-dressing, particularly the depiction of males wearing dresses, is often used for comic effect onstage and on-screen.

Boy player refers to children who performed in Medieval and English Renaissance playing companies. Some boy players worked for the adult companies and performed the female roles as women did not perform on the English stage in this period. Others worked for children’s companies in which all roles, not just the female ones, were played by boys.[16](pp 1–76) [17]

In an effort to clamp down on kabuki’s popularity, women’s kabuki, known as onna-kabuki, was banned in 1629 in Japan for being too erotic.[18] Following this ban, young boys began performing in wakashū-kabuki, which was also soon banned.[18] Thus adult men play female roles in kabuki.

Dan is the general name for female roles in Chinese opera, often referring to leading roles. They may be played by male or female actors. In the early years of Peking opera, all dan roles were played by men, but this practice is no longer common in any Chinese opera genre.

Women have often been excluded from Noh, and men often play female characters in it.[19]

Drag is a special form of performance art based on the act of cross-dressing. A drag queen is usually a male-assigned person who performs as an exaggeratedly feminine character, in heightened costuming sometimes consisting of a showy dress, high-heeled shoes, obvious make-up, and wig. A drag queen may imitate famous female film or pop-music stars. A faux queen is a female-assigned person employing the same techniques. A drag king is a counterpart of the drag queen – a female-assigned person who adopts a masculine persona in performance or imitates a male film or pop-music star. Some female-assigned people undergoing gender reassignment therapy also self-identify as ‘drag kings’.

The modern activity of battle reenactments has raised the question of women passing as male soldiers. In 1989, Lauren Burgess dressed as a male soldier in a U.S. National Park Service reenactment of the Battle of Antietam, and was ejected after she was discovered to be a woman. Burgess sued the Park Service for sexual discrimination.[20] The case spurred spirited debate among Civil War buffs. In 1993, a federal judge ruled in Burgess’s favor.[21]

“Wigging” refers to the practice of male stunt doubles taking the place of an actress, parallel to “paint downs”, where white stunt doubles are made up to resemble black actors.[22] Female stunt doubles have begun to protest this norm of “historical sexism”, saying that it restricts their already limited job possibilities.[23][24]

British pantomime, television and comedy [ edit ]

Cross-dressing is a traditional popular trope in British comedy.[25] The pantomime dame in British pantomime dates from the 19th century, which is part of the theatrical tradition of female characters portrayed by male actors in drag. Widow Twankey (Aladdin’s mother) is a popular pantomime dame: in 2004 Ian McKellen played the role.

The Monty Python comedy troupe donned frocks and makeup, playing female roles while speaking in falsetto.[26] Character comics such as Benny Hill and Dick Emery drew upon several female identities. In the BBC’s long-running sketch show The Dick Emery Show (broadcast from 1963 to 1981), Emery played Mandy, a busty peroxide blonde whose catchphrase, “Ooh, you are awful … but I like you!”, was given in response to a seemingly innocent remark made by her interviewer, but perceived by her as ribald double entendre.[27] The popular tradition of cross dressing in British comedy extended to the 1984 music video for Queen’s “I Want to Break Free” where the band parody several female characters from the soap opera Coronation Street.[28]

Sexual fetishes [ edit ]

A transvestic fetishist wearing latex clothes

A transvestic fetishist is a person who cross-dresses as part of a sexual fetish. According to the fourth edition of Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, this fetishism was limited to heterosexual men; however, DSM-5 does not have this restriction, and opens it to women and men, regardless of their sexual orientation.[29]

Sometimes either member of a heterosexual couple will cross-dress in order to arouse the other. For example, the male might wear skirts or lingerie and/or the female will wear boxers or other male clothing. (See also forced feminization)

Passing [ edit ]

Some people who cross-dress may endeavor to project a complete impression of belonging to another gender, including mannerisms, speech patterns, and emulation of sexual characteristics. This is referred to as passing or “trying to pass,” depending how successful the person is. An observer who sees through the cross-dresser’s attempt to pass is said to have “read” or “clocked” them. There are videos, books, and magazines on how a man may look more like a woman.[30]

Others may choose to take a mixed approach, adopting some feminine traits and some masculine traits in their appearance. For instance, a man might wear both a dress and a beard. This is sometimes known as “genderfuck”. In a broader context, cross-dressing may also refer to other actions undertaken to pass as a particular sex, such as packing (accentuating the male crotch bulge) or, the opposite, tucking (concealing the male crotch bulge).[31]

Clothes [ edit ]

Some male crossdressers seek a more subtle feminine image.

The actual determination of cross-dressing is largely socially constructed. For example, in Western society, trousers have long been adopted for usage by women, and it is no longer regarded as cross-dressing. In cultures where men have traditionally worn skirt-like garments such as the kilt or sarong, these are not seen as women’s clothing, and wearing them is not seen as cross-dressing for men. As societies are becoming more global in nature, both men’s and women’s clothing are adopting styles of dress associated with other cultures.

Cosplaying may also involve cross-dressing, for some females may wish to dress as a male, and vice versa (see Crossplay (cosplay)). Breast binding (for females) is not uncommon and is one of the things likely needed to cosplay a male character.

In most parts of the world it remains socially disapproved for men to wear clothes traditionally associated with women. Attempts are occasionally made, e.g. by fashion designers, to promote the acceptance of skirts as everyday wear for men. Cross-dressers have complained that society permits women to wear pants or jeans and other masculine clothing, while condemning any man who wants to wear clothing sold for women.

While creating a more feminine figure, male cross-dressers will often utilize different types and styles of breast forms, which are silicone prostheses traditionally used by women who have undergone mastectomies to recreate the visual appearance of a breast.

While most male cross-dressers utilize clothing associated with modern women, some are involved in subcultures that involve dressing as little girls or in vintage clothing. Some such men have written that they enjoy dressing as femininely as possible, so they wear frilly dresses with lace and ribbons, bridal gowns complete with veils, as well as multiple petticoats, corsets, girdles and/or garter belts with nylon stockings.

The term underdressing is used by male cross-dressers to describe wearing female undergarments such as panties under their male clothes. The famous low-budget film-maker Edward D. Wood, Jr. (who also went out in public dressed in drag as “Shirley”, his female alter ego[32]) said he often wore women’s underwear under his military uniform as a Marine during World War II.[33] Female masking is a form of cross-dressing in which men wear masks that present them as female.[34]

Social issues [ edit ]

Satire on cross-dressing, around 1780 Britain

Cross-dressers may begin wearing clothing associated with the opposite sex in childhood, using the clothes of a sibling, parent, or friend. Some parents have said they allowed their children to cross-dress and, in many cases, the child stopped when they became older. The same pattern often continues into adulthood, where there may be confrontations with a spouse, partner, family member or friend. Married cross-dressers can experience considerable anxiety and guilt if their spouse objects to their behavior.

Sometimes because of guilt or other reasons cross-dressers dispose of all their clothing, a practice called “purging”, only to start collecting the other gender’s clothing again.[12]

Festivals [ edit ]

Celebrations of cross-dressing occur in widespread cultures. The Abissa festival in Côte d’Ivoire,[35] Ofudamaki in Japan,[36] and Kottankulangara Festival in India[37] are all examples of this.

Analysis [ edit ]

Advocacy for social change has done much to relax the constrictions of gender roles on men and women, but they are still subject to prejudice from some people.[38][39][40] It is noticeable that as being transgender becomes more socially accepted as a normal human condition, the prejudices against cross-dressing are changing quite quickly, just as the similar prejudices against homosexuals have changed rapidly in recent decades.[41]

The reason it is so hard to have statistics for female-assigned cross-dressers is that the line where cross-dressing stops and cross-dressing begins has become blurred, whereas the same line for men is as well defined as ever. This is one of the many issues being addressed by third wave feminism as well as the modern-day masculist movement.

The general culture[clarification needed] has very mixed views about cross-dressing. A woman who wears her husband’s shirt to bed is considered attractive, while a man who wears his wife’s nightgown to bed may be considered transgressive. Marlene Dietrich in a tuxedo was considered very erotic; Jack Lemmon in a dress was considered ridiculous.[42] All this may result from an overall gender role rigidity for males; that is, because of the prevalent gender dynamic throughout the world, men frequently encounter discrimination when deviating from masculine gender norms, particularly violations of heteronormativity.[43] A man’s adoption of feminine clothing is often considered a going down in the gendered social order whereas a woman’s adoption of what are traditionally men’s clothing (at least in the English-speaking world) has less of an impact because women have been traditionally subordinate to men, unable to affect serious change through style of dress. Thus when a male cross-dresser puts on his clothes, he transforms into the quasi-female and thereby becomes an embodiment of the conflicted gender dynamic. Following the work of Judith Butler, gender proceeds along through ritualized performances, but in male cross-dressing it becomes a performative “breaking” of the masculine and a “subversive repetition” of the feminine.[44][non-primary source needed]

Psychoanalysts today do not regard cross-dressing by itself as a psychological problem, unless it interferes with a person’s life. “For instance,” said Dr. Joseph Merlino, senior editor of Freud at 150: 21st Century Essays on a Man of Genius, “[suppose that]…I’m a cross-dresser and I don’t want to keep it confined to my circle of friends, or my party circle, and I want to take that to my wife and I don’t understand why she doesn’t accept it, or I take it to my office and I don’t understand why they don’t accept it, then it’s become a problem because it’s interfering with my relationships and environment.”[45]

Literature [ edit ]

Women dressed as men, and less often men dressed as women, is a common trope in fiction[46] and folklore. For example, in Norse myth, Thor disguised himself as Freya.[46] These disguises were also popular in Gothic fiction, such as in works by Charles Dickens, Alexandre Dumas, père, and Eugène Sue,[46] and in a number of Shakespeare’s plays, such as Twelfth Night. In The Wind in the Willows, Toad dresses as a washerwoman, and in Lord of the Rings, Éowyn pretends to be a man.

In science fiction, fantasy and women’s literature, this literary motif is occasionally taken further, with literal transformation of a character from male to female or vice versa. Virginia Woolf’s Orlando: A Biography focuses on a man who becomes a woman, as does a warrior in Peter S. Beagle’s The Innkeeper’s Song;[47] while in Geoff Ryman’s The Warrior Who Carried Life, Cara magically transforms herself into a man.[47]

Other popular examples of gender disguise include Madame Doubtfire (published as Alias Madame Doubtfire in the United States) and its movie adaptation Mrs. Doubtfire, featuring a man disguised as a woman.[48] Similarly, the movie Tootsie features Dustin Hoffman disguised as a woman, while the movie The Associate features Whoopi Goldberg disguised as a man.

Medical views [ edit ]

The 10th edition of the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems lists dual-role transvestism (non-sexual cross-dressing)[49] and fetishistic transvestism (cross-dressing for sexual pleasure) as disorders.[50] Both listings were removed for the 11th edition.[51] Transvestic fetishism is a paraphilia and a psychiatric diagnosis in the DSM-5 version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.[52]

See also [ edit ]

Notes [ edit ]

^ M*A*S*H for an example of a cross-dresser who did not want to serve in the military (Max Klinger). Although the character was played for laughs, his situation was based on military regulations prohibiting cross-dressing. See the television seriesfor an example of a cross-dresser who did not want to serve in the military (Max Klinger). Although the character was played for laughs, his situation was based on military regulations prohibiting cross-dressing.

References [ edit ]

Understanding cross-dressing

Dear Concerned,

The term cross-dressing is usually used (but not always) to refer to cisgender, heterosexual men who wear clothing and accessories that are considered feminine or associated with women. Folks might cross dress for fun, for political motives, for sexual reasons, or to entertain. They might dress that way full time, occasionally, or only in private. The rationale for cross-dressing isn’t universal and there’s limited research on common characteristics among those who do cross-dress. Cross-dressing itself isn’t considered pathological (of or pertaining to a particular diagnosis or disorder). However, people who cross-dress may experience societal backlash for resisting gendered expectations. While some people who cross-dress may experience guilt, many don’t, and a way to support someone who cross-dresses is to emphasize that it’s a form of expression, not something that an individual needs to overcome or resist. Ways that people choose to express gender may change over time, so someone may find that over time cross-dressing no longer meets those needs or interests, but for others, cross-dressing is a lifelong practice.

Before diving in, it might be helpful to understand more about gender, sex, and societal expectations around the two. Sex is how people are classified at birth, based on their genitalia and chromosomes. Usually they’re split into the categories of male or female based on these traits, but genitalia and chromosomes vary, so not everyone falls cleanly into one group or the other. Gender, unlike sex, isn’t biological. It refers to the characteristics that societies define as being associated with men or women, and it doesn’t necessarily align with a person’s assigned sex at birth.

Gender is an undeniably salient force prevalent in society. Gender roles dictate how people are expected to dress, act, and feel, and these are reinforced at a young age for most folks. You might have grown up learning that there are two genders — men and women — and that each of the two categories have certain characteristics associated with them. People are taught, explicitly and implicitly, that these distinctions are real and concrete, so it’s no wonder that you’re feeling concerned about the idea of cross-dressing. However, some reframing might help to consider gender play and cross-dressing in a new light.

Although gender is often discussed as a binary (men or women), many report identifying with gender on a spectrum. While some may feel that their identity aligns easily with one end or the other, many folks might find themselves somewhere in the middle. Those who feel that their gender aligns with their sex assigned at birth are often described as cisgender. For some, this isn’t in alignment, and as a result they may identify as transgender (often shortened to trans), gender non-conforming, non-binary, gender-fluid, a-gender, or two-spirit, among other terms. This experience sometimes leads to gender dysphoria, which is defined as significant distress as a result of dissonance between gender identity and sex assigned at birth and is a recognized condition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Experiencing gender dysphoria can lead people to change their gender expression or even alter their bodies so that they better align with their identities. Identifying as something other than cisgender doesn’t necessarily mean that someone will experience dysphoria, however. Some might identify as cisgender but realize that they don’t agree with all of the expectations that come along with their gender, and some might find that their gender experience shifts and changes over time or depending on the context. Other people, like many cross-dressers, may feel that their sex and gender align, but still might want to explore and enjoy aspects associated with another gender. Now that you’ve got a primer on gender, hopefully it’s easier to recognize that high heels, dresses, and makeup aren’t inherently “female.” Just because the larger society associates certain articles with femininity, and someone choosing to wear those items doesn’t necessarily communicate anything about a person’s gender or sexual identity.

It’s also key to point out that people who cross-dress generally don’t consider themselves to be a different gender from the one they were assigned at birth. For example, a cisgender man can wear a dress and identify that he’s cross-dressing. However, if a trans woman is wearing attire that’s associated with women, this can be a way to express her gender through her fashion choices. Whether a person’s clothing choices reflect their gender identity or not, the gender identity of that person is real, valid, and deserves respect.

Gender is a complicated subject, but it doesn’t have to be scary; exploring it can be challenging, exciting, and liberating. Having a loving, open partner to take the journey with could make a huge difference. Asking questions to better understand their gender experience, getting involved in gender-related activism, standing up for them if they’re facing discrimination, and being there to support them when they need it are just a few actions a person can take to be there for their cross-dressing partner. Reading up more on the topics of gender, gender expression, and gender diversity may also be helpful. Organizations such as the Human Rights Campaign and GLAAD may be helpful places to start.

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