Top 29 How To Get Bitchs Best 131 Answer

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What is the quickest way to get a girl?

Get a Girlfriend Fast (10+ Ways to Stand Out and Find the Right…
  1. Ask a friend to set you up.
  2. Talk to people on social media.
  3. Try dating apps.
  4. Join a new group or club.
  5. Approach girls in public.
  6. Use open body language.
  7. Ask a girl you click with to go out with you.
  8. Get to know the girl on your date.

How do you get a girl to come to you?

So if you want women to approach you, you have to understand how to make women feel comfortable enough to make the first move.
  1. Shut Up and Dress Well. …
  2. Make Sure Your Body Language Isn’t Driving Her Off. …
  3. Give Approach Invitations. …
  4. Give Her an Opening. …
  5. Have Fun.

How can I physically attract a girl?

Lust Is Complicated, But Studies Show These 19 Things Make Men More Attractive to Women
  1. Look for the universal signals of flirtation.
  2. Look for someone ‘in your league’
  3. Present yourself as high status.
  4. Look older.
  5. Grow a light beard.
  6. Build muscle (but not too much)
  7. Be kind.
  8. Wear red.

Is getting a girlfriend easy?

No matter what stage of life you’re at, finding a girlfriend can be really hard. Your friends may have no problems finding great girlfriends, but maybe you keep finding yourself on your own. Finding a girlfriend involves getting out into the world, being open to meeting new people, and getting help from friends.

How do I flirt with a girl?

How to Flirt with a Girl in Person
  1. 11 Be funny. The best thing a guy could do when flirting with a girl is to make her laugh. …
  2. Initiate touch. …
  3. Allude to future moments you can spend together. …
  4. Use confident body language. …
  5. Ask her about herself. …
  6. Smile. …
  7. Look and feel your best. …
  8. Don’t use pick up lines.

Can you get a girlfriend at 13?

The age in which tweens develop romantic interests in other people varies tremendously from child to child. Some kids may start expressing interest in having a boyfriend or girlfriend as early as age 10 while others are 12 or 13 before they show any interest.

How do you flirt?

How to flirt with ease:
  1. Don’t get caught up in trying to adopt a certain persona you associate with “being flirty.”
  2. Be willing to make the first move.
  3. Make it more casual.
  4. Pay attention to your body language.
  5. Offer a thoughtful compliment.
  6. Open a real conversation.
  7. Pay attention to how they’re responding.

How do you get a 13 year old girl to like you?

Gently start flirting with her.
  1. Try to get her to laugh or even smile. Most girls like boys with a sense of humor — not goofy slapstick, or fake laughing. …
  2. Compliment her on her hair, clothing, or smile. Again, don’t make it obvious that you like her. …
  3. Find out what makes her feel special.

How yo make a girl jealous?

23 Ways To Make Your Girlfriend Jealous
  1. Compliment other women. …
  2. Talk to other women when you’re with her. …
  3. Try to work on your appearance. …
  4. Make it seem like she’s not your top priority. …
  5. Forget plans you’ve made. …
  6. Be overly polite to other women. …
  7. Show your talents. …
  8. Be secretive for no reason.

What is the best way to pick up a girl?

You can start lifting with your arms around her middle, but as soon as you feel your partner’s arms and legs koala around your neck and waist, move one hand under her thigh. Then, slowly, so she has time to adjust her weight, move your other hand under her other thigh. You should feel your arms working.

What would turn on a girl?

25 of the Biggest Turn Ons for Girls
  1. 25 of the BIGGEST Turn Ons for Girls.
  2. When you pull us over to your side of the bed in the morning. …
  3. When you tell us you think we’re beautiful. …
  4. When you compliment us on something non-physical. …
  5. When you’re kind to total strangers. …
  6. When you touch our knee under the table.

How To Get Bitches
How To Get Bitches


3 Ways to Get Girls – wikiHow

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5 EASY WAYS to get more GIRLS in your 20s | Alex Costa – YouTube

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5 EASY WAYS to get more GIRLS in your 20s | Alex Costa - YouTube
5 EASY WAYS to get more GIRLS in your 20s | Alex Costa – YouTube

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Get a Girlfriend Fast (10+ Ways to Stand Out and Find the Right Girl)

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Get a Girlfriend Fast (10+ Ways to Stand Out and Find the Right Girl)
Get a Girlfriend Fast (10+ Ways to Stand Out and Find the Right Girl)

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10 Psychological Tricks To Get Her To Like You – How To Make a Girl ATTRACTED To Me? – YouTube

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10 Psychological Tricks To Get Her To Like You - How To Make a Girl ATTRACTED To Me? - YouTube
10 Psychological Tricks To Get Her To Like You – How To Make a Girl ATTRACTED To Me? – YouTube

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Leveling Up: How To Get Women To Approach You

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Leveling Up: How To Get Women To Approach You
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Error 403 (Forbidden)

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How to Get Bad Bitches – YouTube

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How to Get Bad Bitches - YouTube
How to Get Bad Bitches – YouTube

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How to Pick Up Girls: A Guide by Girls for Boys

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How to Pick Up Girls: A Guide by Girls for Boys
How to Pick Up Girls: A Guide by Girls for Boys

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Urban Dictionary: getting bitches

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Urban Dictionary: getting bitches
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Bitches Get Stitches – Etsy

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Bitches Get Stitches - Etsy
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SoundCloud – Hear the world’s sounds

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SoundCloud - Hear the world’s sounds
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3 Ways to Get Girls

Article Summary

X

If you’re interested in picking up girls, try hanging out in places where you’re likely to meet people who share your interests. For example, you might meet girls at the bookstore, the mall, or the gym. If you see a girl you’re interested in, make sure to approach her when she’s relaxed and in a casual setting. She’ll be a lot less likely to appreciate your attention if she’s working, stressed, or busy. Look for an excuse to strike up a conversation so it’s not obvious right away that you’re hitting on her. Otherwise, she might feel uncomfortable. For example, you could ask her for directions, or comment on something interesting that’s going on around you. If she seems interested in chatting, try dropping a sincere compliment. For instance, tell her how much you like her outfit, or comment on what a great smile she has. You can also try a little good-natured teasing, which can be a fun way to flirt. For example, if you like different sports teams, get some playful banter going about whose team is better. Just make sure it doesn’t come off as insulting or rude. If the conversation is going well, look for an excuse to make an exit before you wear out your welcome. Say something like, “It’s been awesome meeting you, but I’d better get back to my friends over there.” This can also be a good moment to ask for her number—or give her yours. If you’re wondering how to make yourself more attractive to girls, here are a few pointers to keep in mind. First of all, try to act confident, even if you’re not really feeling it. Smile, stand up straight, and use relaxed, approachable body language. Also remember to be kind, polite, and respectful to her and to other people around you. It’s okay to talk yourself up a little when you’re chatting with her, but don’t forget to ask her questions about herself, too. She’ll enjoy talking to you a lot more if you show a genuine interest in her and the things she cares about. If it seems like things are going well and you’re ready to make a move, take it slow. For example, be careful about going in for a kiss if you’re not sure she’ll be into it. Start with something subtler, like touching her arm while you’re talking or telling her how beautiful she looks. Pay close attention to how she reacts, and always back off if she seems uncomfortable with anything you’re doing. For tips on how to ask for her phone number, keep reading!

Leveling Up: How To Get Women To Approach You

Despite the fact that approach is actually one of the least important parts of dating, it usually remains one of the most terrifying for many men. Lots of guys, especially guys who are shy, suffer from approach anxiety, or who are socially inexperienced, dread approaching women the way I dread the hooded figures from the the dog park or the giant spider-like things that shuffle out of the Underdark when it’s 3 AM and I haven’t been sleeping and also I’ve taken a heroic dose of Mescaline.

Many men wish that women would make things easier by being willing to take the initiative themselves. But, despite social progress and the ardent wishes of many, many men, the accepted cultural narrative places the onus on men to make the first move. And in fairness, there are women who simply prefer men to be the aggressor and won’t be the one to approach them. But there are also plenty of women who can and do approach guys… provided he’s the right guy.

You could be that guy… as long as you know the secrets to making women come to you.

On Monday I talked a lot about the reasons why women don’t approach men, and the social and cultural barriers that discourage women from making the first move. There is a great deal of social programming that warns women against being “that girl” – the pushy, clingy or “desperate” guy-chaser who drives men away, and there are many men who react badly to women who are “too forward”. You may not be one of them… but she has no way of knowing that. So if you want women to approach you, you have to understand how to make women feel comfortable enough to make the first move.

Shut Up and Dress Well

Look, there’s no getting around this: if you want to be the sort of guy that women approach, you have to put some effort into your appearance. You don’t have to look like Michael Ealy or Ian Sommerhalder, but if you’re looking like you rolled out of bed and into whatever happened to be on the floor around you, women aren’t going to be inclined to linger in your presence no matter how hot you are or aren’t.

As I’ve said before: there’s being good looking, and then there’s being attractive. One is about your physical looks and the other is about your overall presentation. If you want women to be approaching you, you have to pay attention to your style, your grooming and your smell. A good haircut, keeping any facial hair neatly trimmed and clean, stylish clothes that actually fit right ((I literally can’t emphasize the need for a proper fit enough.)) and proper use of deodorant make you far more approachable than the sloppy-looking guy in the baggy sweatshirt with the stains and the jeans that reek of cigarette smoke with bed-head and three days’ worth of stubble.

Why? Because it takes advantage of what’s known as the Halo Effect, a cognitive bias that causes our overall impression of someone to affect how we think about them.

Someone who takes care of their appearance and takes the time and effort to look good is going to be seen by others as being nicer, friendlier, more likable and – critically – more approachable. This doesn’t mean that you need to be rocking a three-piece suit at all hours, but if you’re going out of the house, you want to make sure to take the time to look sharp. After all, you never know when you might run into someone amazing that you might want to get to know.

Make Sure Your Body Language Isn’t Driving Her Off

One of the things I’m always harping on is the importance of body language. We pick up far more information about a person – consciously and subconsciously – from non-verbal cues than we do from just about any other source. If you want women to approach you, then you have to make sure you’re not waving them away with closed off or unfriendly body language.

To start with, you need to relax. Humans are an empathetic species; we pick up on each other’s emotions and that can directly affect how we feel. When you’re coming off as tense or upset, you’re going to end up making the people around you feel uncomfortable. If you’re relaxed, they’ll feel relaxed. So take a deep breath, hold it for the count of five, then exhale slowly. As you exhale, let the tension drain out of your limbs and shoulders. Let everything loosen up. Imagine an invisible thread attached to the crown of your skull. Let that thread pull you upward to your full height while your arms dangle loosely at your sides.

Next, make sure you aren’t closing yourself off from everyone else. Slumped shoulders, crossed arms or legs, and looking down towards the floor all screams “don’t talk to me”; anyone standing like that is closing themselves down and turning people away. You want your body language to be open and inviting, with your shoulders back (but not too far back; you’re enjoying yourself, not standing at attention), and arms open. Not only is this a more friendly and accommodating pose, but it makes you look more confident as well. Similarly, you want to position yourself so you’re open to the center of the room. If your back is to the people around you – you’re facing the bar, you’ve sequestered yourself in a corner somewhere – you’re putting up yet another barrier that makes you less approachable; someone who’s already nervous about coming up and saying “hi” is going to take this as a sign that she shouldn’t bother.

Most importantly, however: you need to make eye contact and smile. One of the reasons why women don’t approach is because of how many guys react badly to women making the first move. Making eye contact and giving a relaxed, genuine smile is a sign of confidence and friendliness. Averting your eyes or avoiding eye contact tells people that you don’t want to talk to them and will make people avoid you instead.

Give Approach Invitations

Want to let women know it’s OK to come talk to you? Take a page from their playbook and give them what’s known as an approach invitation. Because women are taught not to show too much overt interest, they have a number of non-verbal ways of making themselves approachable and making sure that guys know it’s ok to come over to them – a mix of smiles, body language cues and gestures. One of the most common – and frequently overlooked – is through eye contact. For example: a woman who wants to signal interest in someone will often make eye contact, look away, make eye contact again – usually from a lowered gaze – and give a smile.

If you want to indicate to a woman that you’re open to being approached, then you want to apply a similar strategy. The simplest way is to make eye contact with the person – especially if she‘s been checking you out, smile and orient your body towards her; this indicates that yes, you saw her noticing you and you’re interested in her. Not sure if this is too subtle? Want to make sure she understands that you’re open to being approached? Give her a more visible sign – guys giving the eyebrow flash is a long-recognized sign of interest, as is a nod that yes, you see her and you’re open to talking. Raise your glass at her in a salute. There will also be plenty of times when you may want to be slightly more direct and give a head nod indicating that she should come over. Some guys have success with making a “come here” gesture with their hands and waving her over; it’s a bold move and one that’s easy to mess up by seeming too demanding, but it can work. Just don’t bro out and make a stupid joke like “I just wanted to see if I could make you come from a distance. Now imagine what I could do this close…”

Yes, I’ve seen people actually do this. No it didn’t work. It did, however, get them covered in amaretto sour, which provided me with no end of amusement.

Remember: regardless of whatever invitation you give, however subtle or obvious, you want to be smiling. I literally can’t emphasize this enough. A warm smile is the difference between “You’re awesome and I’d love to talk to you” and “It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.”

Give Her an Opening

Think of all the times when you’ve seen someone you’ve been interested in. Maybe it was at a bar. Maybe it was on the quad between classes. Maybe it was at a friend’s party. You’d love go go talk to her but – oh shit, she’s with her friends.

Now you’re too intimidated to try to go over and introduce yourself while she’s around all those people, so you decide that you’ll just wait until there’s a chance to catch her alone. So you wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Every time it seems like she’s about to go off on her own, someone else comes in and starts talking to her. But now you’re aware you’re verging into creeper territory, so you walk a way and hope to catch her later… only “later” never comes because by the time you’ve decided to give it another shot, she’s disappeared.

Guess what? As intimidated as you feel about approaching her when she’s with all of her friends? She feels the exact same way about approaching you when you’re with yours. Approaching someone you don’t know who’s in a group isn’t any less daunting when you’re a woman. If you’re with your guy friends, she’s going to feel like she’s not just having to talk to you but deal with all of their silent (or not so silent) judgement. If you’re in a mixed group… well, is that woman your girlfriend? Your wife? Your sister? A friend from work? She has no idea if she’s going to be welcomed and is just as worried about being humiliated as you would be approaching a group of women.

So if you want her to approach you, you have to make sure to give her an opening. Step away from the group for a minute or two. You may step away to grab a drink, check out something you saw earlier, check your text messages or just grab some air… but deliberately separating yourself from everybody gives her an opportunity to come up to you when she doesn’t feel like she has to work up even more courage just to say “hey”.

Have Fun

Want to be more approachable? Then you need to enjoy yourself.

Fun is, hands down, the most attractive aspect of a man and someone who is having fun is going to be more interesting and more appealing to others. And because we’re empathetic animals, our moods are contagious. When we’re around someone who’s joking with their friends, laughing, dancing or otherwise having a good time, we’re more likely to be enjoying ourselves as well. We look at people who are happy and enjoying themselves and imagine that they’re doing well for themselves because, hey, they’re clearly in a good mood!

Someone who is cranky, upset, depressed or gloomy isn’t someone we’re going to want to approach; they bring our mood down and suck the life out of the room… not something that’s going to make them appealing to others. Plus, the guy glowering in the corner is going to seem far more intimidating and judgmental than the one laughing and having fun with his friends – another thing that makes women less likely to approach.

This doesn’t mean that you need to be an extrovert in order to be approachable; introverts are just as capable of indicating that they’re enjoying themselves, even if it means they’re in a smaller group or positioned away from the main crowd. Even if you’re just people-watching on your own, doing so with a smile and open body language will indicate that you’re actually having fun… and that will make you seem more enticing to the people around you.

Don’t Expect Her To Do All The Work

Keep in mind: you can’t just sit around and expect women to do all the heavy lifting for you. Too many people use “women should approach more” as an excuse to avoid risking getting rejected. The cold hard truth of the matter is, even if she does approach you, that’s no guarantee that it’s going to work out or you’re not going to get shot down. And frankly, if you’re not willing to step up and approach women instead of just waiting for them to come to you, you’re not likely to be having any success even if they do make the first move.

But when you understand how to be more appealing and more approachable, when you catch that special someone’s eye, she’s going to be intrigued… and she’s going to be much more likely to come over and talk to you.

How to Pick Up Girls: A Guide by Girls for Boys

This article originally appeared on VICE UK.

Spend too much time on the internet and you’ll end up thinking young men today fall into one of two camps: hypersensitive puppy dogs trying to fund-raise their way to true love, or those guys who think flirting means getting shitfaced and screaming rape threats down a traffic cone at girls in the street. While this picture isn’t 100 percent accurate, it does seem that too many guys have adopted either the love formula or the Bro Bible as their seduction template, and frankly either of those approaches is as erotic to us as the idea of getting finger-banged in a Jacuzzi by the Elephant Man.

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Of course, we know you’re not all dumbasses. But the truth is, boys these days have really dropped their flirt game. Finding a woman to love you tender isn’t about throwing a burlap sack over her head and tossing her on the back of a truck. It’s also not about slithering up with some awful PUA lines and trying to bully-fuck her. We’re not asking for Jane Austen; we just want to be wooed, and we want you to be cool about it.

Dating in the post-Tinder age is a romantic, political, and legal mine field, so here’s a guide to help you through the painful business of chatting up girls.

Related: “Dating 101”

SOCIAL MEDIA AND DATING APPS

Don’t pretend you haven’t spent every last toilet break this month hungrily trawling through girls’ Tinder bikini pictures. We know you’re not “new” to the whole dating-app game, and the evidence doesn’t suggest you find it particularly “weird.” The only weird thing about it is the 15 minutes you just spent on a perfect stranger from Happn’s LinkedIn page. (Hi! We can see when you do that, by the way!) We’re all desperate and shallow and lonely, so let’s not pretend otherwise.

Never call yourself a “gin enthusiast” or a “coffee snob” in your bio. Beverages are not a substitute for personality. You don’t have to put your height, but thinking girls don’t care would be naive, so post a full-body photo of you posing near something for scale, like a “You Must Be This High to Ride” roller-coaster sign, a door, or—if you’re really small—a cat.

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Consider these topics to be banned from Tinder chat: your epic weekend plans, the undoubtedly epic hangover you’re going to have as a result of them, music genres, your SAT or GRE scores, vacations. Playing flirty-uppies with a total stranger is completely unnecessary—just ask her out. It’s 2015, half the work is done for you: This is an app that’s designed solely to help lonely people have sex with one another. If you’re still stuck making Tinder small talk about her “plans for the summer” or the exact location of her office, you’re fucked.

TALKING TO US IN REAL LIFE

A lot of you have become so used to copy and pasting “you still up?” to your 47 Tinder matches that you’ve forgotten how to talk to us in person. Remember, there are some times where girls just don’t want to be chatted up—if we look like we are already on a walk of shame, for example, or outside an abortion clinic.

Other than that, we’re really fine with getting wooed anywhere. In fact, no matter how cynical the girl, it’s a really pleasant to think that someone still wants to bang us when we’re applying chapstick to our nose on a subway platform while contemplating a cheesesteak. Approaching a girl in an unlikely situation takes balls. Girls really like balls. Not to look at. Don’t show us your balls. Don’t text us your balls. Do talk to us (about things other than your balls and the size of your balls).

HOUSE PARTIES

In an ideal world, us single gals would walk around with a vial of tears of solitude around our necks, or wear our loneliness as a decorative brooch. But unfortunately, you’re going to have to go through the exhausting game of bullshit badminton that is finding out whether we’re single. House parties are particularly fraught for this reason: There’s a good chance you could be trying it on with a girl while sitting next to her boyfriend, on his own bed. It might sound elementary, but the quickest way round that is to just ask her whom she came with.

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Everyone knows that house parties tend to run dry at about 4 AM, around the time the last bottle of Cinzano runs out and the angriest roommate is marching around, shouting in her slipper socks. It’s your last chance to magnetize those sexy dangerous party girls who wear bangles around the tops of their arms, so you really ought to have held something back. And we’re not talking about another line of mephedrone off the microwave—we’re talking about an Uber account, a bottle of Glen’s vodka, and (the promise of) a better party. If she wants to bang you/is high enough to believe there’s a good party going on at 4 AM, she’ll go along with this bullshit. Single people are, against the odds and contrary to common sense, always staggeringly optimistic about the night ahead.

CLUBS AND BARS

As fun as house parties are, once you’re past your early 20s they can get a bit dry. This is because you’ll have already systematically banged your way through your immediate group of friends (“just to check”) and all their semi-attractive friends. You can, however, still pick people up in public, the good old-fashioned way, and that’s where clubs, bars, and smoking areas come into their own.

Has anyone ever met on a dance floor? We’re not sure, but it seems unlikely. If you, like many, aren’t all that good at conversing with the rhythm of your body, then maybe just talk to her at the bar. Don’t be put off by her ice-maiden face, or the fact that her back is turned to you, or that she has been trying to get served for five minutes already and doesn’t want to break her gaze with the barman: Smile at her. Introduce yourself. Buy her a drink. Feminism might have killed chivalry, but everyone still likes free stuff.

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At this point, how can you tell if she’s into you?

–Her friends seem a tiny bit annoyed with her

–She’s tried to make fun of you a lot

–She’s doing the opposite of flaring her nose

–She has not mentioned shit once

–She is not eating a hot dog

–She’s touched you on the top of the arm (this is actually a thing)

SMOKING AREAS

If you’re determined to find love IRL, the best place to strike up conversation is a smoking area. Everyone knows that all the good flirty banter takes place when you’re being herded around in the dark like cattle, so get puffing. If you don’t smoke, you’re just going to have to pretend. No one ever banged all the bad bitches babysitting a family of handbags in the corner of the club.

Bumming cigs off girls is no way into a conversation, although—sad as it may sound—having a lighter is. Do you remember someone at school once saying lighting a girl’s cigarette was like a third of having sex with her? Well, he was right, if that figurative third is the bit where you prematurely ejaculate into her bellybutton.

Nothing in this world is more awkward than the moment of silence as you try to light a girl’s cigarette in a breeze, so just hand us the lighter. And don’t carry a Zippo, dude; this isn’t the 1920s, and you’re not a hardboiled detective.

Feminism might have killed chivalry, but everyone still likes free stuff.

CHARM THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF HER FRIENDS

If, while on your sexual safari, you’ve managed to isolate the buffest buffalo in the herd, you’d be wise not to underestimate the group’s instincts. Her best friend’s got you all figured out, and she is not afraid to trample your ass, reason being the sleepover you’ve got in mind is really fucking with her brunch plans. The wanton lust of your penis is going to leave her one poached egg short of a decent Instagram post tomorrow, and she’s not about to let that happen. Here’s how to tread carefully with our friends:

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–Choose one of us and stick with your choice.

Aside from the fact that no one likes to be a second-stringer, you’re going to end up spreading yourself too thin, repeating the same shitty jokes and quickly repelling literally everyone there. Also, don’t try to coerce one of us into a threesome; you’re not Dan Bilzerian, and suggesting that it might be fun for the girl you’ve just met to roll around naked with you and one of her childhood friends is (so, so obviously) not a good way to get either of them to like you.

–Be nice to our friends.

We might not want you to flirt with our friends, but we want them to like you enough to be jealous of us. So please, try to engage them in conversation. You probably want to work out early who’s the leader of the group/running this whole thing and keep her on your side, because she’ll be the bitchy one who says, “Amanda’s too drunk, and now we all have to leave to go buy her fries to stop the crying.” She’ll be the one who mouths “NOW” across the bar at your sweet Juliet and then looks you dead in the eye like some sort of polka-dot Medusa. She’ll be the one who has no problem mouthing, “Really, him?” and pointing right at you, while your crush’s hand slackens apologetically in yours.

PICKUP LINES, GIMMICKS, NEGGING, AND “TECHNIQUE”

You can’t really imagine what it’s like to be a woman until you’ve been informed you’re a bad dancer by an overweight man wearing a fedora, told your job is crap because “What value does PR actually bring to the world?” by a man who wrote copy for a yet-to-be developed children’s entertainment app, and told you’re a loser for wearing a waterproof poncho when it was pouring by a man whose mustache curls up at the ends.

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What do all of these assholes have in common? They’ve all obviously read The Game, or watched The Pickup Artist, or lurked in any of a hundred internet forums that treat interactions with human women like a text-based RPG.

Perhaps you enjoy the idea of having sex with a woman whose confidence is so shatteringly fragile that she actually cares how you feel about the print on her pants. But let’s just clear up negging once and for all: It doesn’t pique our curiosity, or make you seem intriguing. If you think we’re so intimidatingly hot that the only way to get us down to your level is to be rude, maybe we just are out of your league? Plus: We are all wise to this shit now. It’s been going on for an actual decade, dude. Most of our very first PUA experiences were smuggling our way into a club with a fake ID just so some Julian Assange–looking weasel-in-a-waistcoat could tell us he can read palms.

HOW TO INTRODUCE THE IDEA THAT WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX

That’s the tipping point: bringing sex to the table, like hefting your dick onto a side plate. It’s all about sensing that delicate balance, that perfect moment. You’re smoking at the gas station of a one-night stand, here, and you need to avoid saying something like “I want to get you wet” when you’re trying to be suave. Saying sleazy stuff out loud, IRL, can turn a man into decomposing Tinder spam quicker than you can say “rape alarm.” There is a really thin line between giving us pangs in our lower abdomens and making us want to call the police.

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If you’re in doubt about whether to invite her back to your place, sound it out. So often the difference between a creep and potential hookup is that a girl actually likes the latter. Ask yourself the big questions: “Have we kissed? Is she only talking to me because I am standing in the doorway of the girls’ bathroom? Is she trapped here because I’m sitting on her coat?” Remember that, unless you’re Scandinavian, propositioning a woman will never come naturally to you. This is no time for your jittery metaphors or your “let’s-get-outta-here” California drawl. And please, literally never say “nightcap”: You’re not going for a midnight grappa in the Campo de’ Fiori; you’re both weighing up the idea of smuggling a road beer onto the subway. Know your limits.

Photo by Jake Lewis

HOW NOT TO SCREW THINGS UP ONCE YOU’RE BACK AT YOUR PLACE

So this is it. Everybody’s down to bang. Go time. Game day. Welcome to Fuck City. Population: You and this girl you’ve been talking to for less than four hours.

In this situation, ambience is important—until you’ve had a guy change his sheets in front of you before you get in his bed, you don’t know the importance of pre-prepared atmosphere. You are not a real estate agent. She doesn’t want a tour of the house. Take her to your room at speed. God knows what happens to you guys—perhaps it’s the Dorito-jizz fumes coming from your bedspread—but this is where you are capable of undoing an entire night’s worth of decent flirting.

Don’t pick up that musical instrument in the corner of your room and begin to play it. Don’t warn us that you’re emotionally unavailable while unbuttoning your trousers. Choose your sex music wisely: D’Angelo is way too obvious; the XX suggests you seriously watch music award shows. And don’t use some nickname or innuendo for condom. We all know what you’re talking about. Use a condom, obviously. But you don’t need to invent some new triple-entendre to ask if we have one shoved inside a desk drawer.

And there you have it. You’re getting laid. That wasn’t so hard, was it?

So you have finished reading the how to get bitchs topic article, if you find this article useful, please share it. Thank you very much. See more: How to make a girl like you, How to talk to a girl, How to get a girl, How to flirt with a girl, How to have a boyfriend, How to get a girl attention, How to know if a girl likes you, How to kiss

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