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How to Make a Sex Tape That Doesn’t Suck
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How to Make a Sex Tape With Your Phone – AskMen
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Here’s What You Need to Know About Making a Home Sex Tape
Why Do People Make Sex Tapes
Sex Tape Dos and Don’ts
Protecting Your Sex Tape
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How to Make a Sex Tape That Doesn’t Suck
If you’ve ever watched a sex scene in a movie or porn, you’ve probably wondered what it would be like to star in your your own naughty flick. When your curiosity gets the best of you, here are some things to keep in mind—including tips for choosing the right costar, finding the best angles, and keeping your video secure.
Don’t r ush i nto i t
Before we start talking about camera angles and lighting, let’s talk about safety. Before you bust out the sad trombone on us, think about all of thos e high-profile horror stories of account hacking and revenge porn. Sadly, making a sex tape isn’t a decision you can take lightly anymore.
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Of course, it’s hard to anticipate just what someone is capable of doing in the future, especially if you currently trust that person enough to be having sex with them. S urely no victims of revenge porn ever thought to themselves, “you know what, this person seems really sleazy and untrustworthy, but I’m just going to go ahead with this anyways.” We expect to be literally screwed when we make a sex tape, but we don’t anticipate being figuratively screwed too.
The bottom line is that you’ve got to be incredibly thoughtful and cautious. You should only ever make a sex tape with someone you’d trust with your life. That may sound dramatic, but leaked sex tapes have literally ruined lives (and companies) . Don’t let anyone pressure you into it, either. It’s also worth giving yourself time to think through the decision; it’s not like you have an opening weekend deadline to meet! If you get even the tiniest gut feeling that something feels amiss, don’t go through with it.
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Get i nspired
It’s your sex tape, so you want it to be sexy and entertaining to you. Take some time to think about what you’d like to get out of this experience, and to talk through it with your partner. Here are some variables to consider:
Do you want the film to have a plot? Or do you just want to see sex?
Do you want to be yourselves in the movie, or do you want to role play other characters? For some people, roleplaying can relieve the jitters since you’re taking on the role of another person. For others, having to be in character may only add to the pressure!
Where do you want to do the filming? The bed is always a safe bet, but you could move to other rooms as well.
Which specific acts do you want to film? You can be as PG as a striptease, or go hardcore with pain play.
Do you want to play with props or sex toys?
Do you want to create little snippets (or even GIFs), or a full length movie?
Having these conversations with your partner can be really sexy. Some people might even find playing with the fantasy of creating a sex tape to be more enjoyable than the filming itself!
If you simply want to have an evening of fun, you don’t have to do too much pre-planning. If you want to create a masterpiece that you’ll watch again and again, you’ll obviously do more preparation and rehearsal. Use your answers to the questions above to create a rough plan for the shoot itself. Knowing what you’re going to be doing beforehand can relieve anxiety. You can also do a PG test shoot, so you can get a sense of what everything looks like. Before your shoot, do whatever grooming habits make you feel sexy, like taking a bath, shaving your legs or doing some pubic hair landscaping.
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What to d o if you feel a wkward
Making a sex tape is intense! It’s perfectly normal to feel timid, nervous, anxious, or awkward. If it feels like too big of a project to take on at once, try breaking it down into baby steps.
First, try taking pictures of yourself in lingerie, or naked in a mirror. Try to get a sense of your favorite body parts, and the best angles for showcasing them. Next, have your partner take naughty pictures of you, and get their input. From there, try taking simple POV pictures while you’re being intimate. Hand a cell phone back and forth and see how creative you can get. You can start with tame sex acts, like kissing or touching, then progress to the activities that feel more vulnerable to you. Work your way up to short video clips with just a few licks or thrusts.
After each time you take a picture or clip, play around with the basic editing software on your phone. This will help you realize just how many improvements you can make in “post-production,” which might alleviate some of your nerves. You’ll start feeling more comfortable in front of the camera in no time!
Pick the right c amera
Picking a camera for your film is really all about what you want from it, how much money you want to spend, and what your grand vision is. Every option has advantages and disadvantages, so let’s take a look at three common options :
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Your smartphone : Everyone has a smartphone, and all smartphones can record video, so it’s a pretty natural choice for filming your first sex tape. And, as long as you have a newer phone and enough light, that may be all you need—most phones now have no problem recording video in high-definitions resolution or even 4K . A phone is also small enough that you can hold it in y our hand or switch it over to a tripod, depending on what type of shots you’re going for. With help from a w ell-chosen video editing app
: Everyone has a smartphone, and all smartphones can record video, so it’s a pretty natural choice for filming your first sex tape. And, as long as you have a newer phone and enough light, that may be all you need—most phones now have no problem recording video in high-definitions resolution or even 4K . A phone is also small enough that you can hold it in y our hand or switch it over to a tripod, depending on what type of shots you’re going for. With help from a A DSLR : Most DSLR cameras have a video function, and if you already have one, they’re a great way to record high-quality video without dropping serious cash. A DSLR intrinsically takes better video than many smartphones and works better in low light, though audio will likely still suffer a bit. As for the video quality, you can swap in different camera lenses (a wide angle or semi fish-eye lens should give you a solid view of all the action) to get a more cinematic look. I f you’re going for a classier feel for your sex tape, a DSLR is a good option. Depending on the body of the camera, a DSLR might prove a little difficult to use for POV, so it’s best suited for use with a tripod until you get the hang of it. You can follow the same rule of the thumb for regular old video cameras as you would with DSLR.
: Most DSLR cameras have a video function, and if you already have one, they’re a great way to record high-quality video without dropping serious cash. A DSLR intrinsically takes better video than many smartphones and works better in low light, though audio will likely still suffer a bit. As for the video quality, you can swap in different camera lenses (a wide angle or semi fish-eye lens should give you a solid view of all the action) to get a more cinematic look. I f you’re going for a classier feel for your sex tape, a DSLR is a good option. Depending on the body of the camera, a DSLR might prove a little difficult to use for POV, so it’s best suited for use with a tripod until you get the hang of it. You can follow the same rule of the thumb for regular old video cameras as you would with DSLR. Action Camera: Action cameras like a GoPro under $200
Really, which you use is up to you, what you already have, and what you want to do with it in the end. Either way, start with what you already own before you drop cash on a camera since you and your partner might don’t actually like the experience.
Adjust y our l ighting
It seems small, but lighting can make or break the quality of your film. Good lighting can make a video go from shadowy and grainy to near-professional (seriously). So don’t neglect it.
Unfortunately, lighting a sex tape is tough, because it also has the potential to make or break the mood. If you’re self-conscious of your body (you shouldn’t be!) or want to take a more demure approach, try candlelight. It’s flattering against the skin, and won’t show too much detail. Or utilize a dimmer switch for better mood lighting. They’ll leave you with a lower quality video, but that might be fine for you if you’re not looking for a lot of detail.
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On the other hand, a three-point lighting setup will make your video quality nearly professional looking, but it’ll also make the filming feel less intimate, not to mention hot (temperature-wise). But you can try to recreate that sort of setup with the lights you have, like desk lamps. Pointing lights at the ceiling can help brighten the room without making the lighting too harsh.
Lighting is intensely complicated, but the above video is a good primer. If you don’t really feel like researching that much, you have other options. The easiest thing to do is to simply film in natural light. Pop open those curtains at midday, let some natural light in (from behind the camera), and get to it. Your film will look great and you won’t have to think about a thing.
If natural light isn’t an option, you might want to experiment with a variety of lighting setups. We’ve walked you through shooting on a budget before, but the best thing you can do is experiment. Start with a lamp above you, directed down. Then try positioning smaller lamps behind the camera and around you. Your results are going to vary depending on your camera and the angles, so be sure to play around with it before you start shooting.
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Find the p erfect a ngle
Porn is all about finding the right angles. One of the reasons why porn sex is so different than real life sex is that porn is less about pleasure and more about capturing an angle that looks good on film. You can watch porn to find some of your favorite positions and angles, and get inspiration for where to put your camera. (If you specifically search for amateur porn, you’ll also find some examples of what doesn’t look great on camera).
Here are some ideas to get you started:
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The simplest angle is to put your camera along the side of the bed. You’ll get a wide shot of both of your bodies. You won’t get much detail, but that could be a good low-maintenance option, or for those on the shy side.
If you want a better view of your genitals, place the camera at one of the bottom corners of your bed.
Use two cameras to get different angles of the action: one with a wide shot and one close up on your faces or your genitals.
Have each of you hold the camera in your hands and discover interesting POV shots. Find angles that your partner has never been able to see from their perspective. For example, if you’re having sex doggystyle, have the penetrating partner film from behind .
Film close-ups of penetration. Find positions where your bodies are slightly separated from one an other , allowing the camera to get in for a good view.
During filming, don’t be afraid to play around with a few different angles. It can be a sexy tease to draw out the experience by stopping to check the footage (but don’t take too long, or it becomes a boner-killer). If you don’t love what you see, simply move the camera around and try again.
Have f un
There’s no getting around it; you’re going to feel at least a tad awkward filming yourself having sex. Tell your co-star that you’re feeling nervous (odds are they are too), and see if the two of you can help each other feel more playful or at ease. Start hooking up with each other before you turn the camera on, so you feel relaxed and turned on. Be your own fluffers! A single glass of wine might help too (though it’s best to be mostly sober).
During filming itself, try to pretend that the camera isn’t there. The more you can be in the moment and enjoy the experience, the better your movie will turn out. One way to feel more at ease it to stick with the acts that you most enjoy in your normal sex life. On camera is not the place to try something brand new, unless you’ve got a great sense of humor and wouldn’t mind having a sexual mishap caught on film!
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Art projects rarely come out exactly how you picture them in your mind, and homemade naughty movies are no different. It’s important not to expect it to look like a professional porn. You don’t have a professional set and team of 15 people on set. It’s not going to be perfect, but it’ll still be hot!
How to Make Hot Homemade Porn We were so excited to interview Danny Wylde for this weeks comic. Hes a master of pornography… Read more
Edit y our v ideo i nto a w atchable m ovie
Like lighting, editing film is a complicated process that requires a ton of schooling. However, for your own sex video, you’ll likely only need to know how to do one thing at first: trimming the beginning and end.
Chances are, your video’s a bit long and has some awkward moments you’d like to cut out. You have a ton of options for different video editing software, but for the sake of simplicity, consider going with V ideo Editor on Windows and iMovie on Mac, since they come free with most computers.
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At the very least, trim any dead space from the beginning and ending of your video, which will ensure the action starts and stops at the right time. You can go farther by cutting out certain parts, or alternating shots between two cameras, but doing so requires more advanced skills.
If you want to learn more about video editing, our five-part guide will teach you everything you need to turn your amateur video into something much more professional. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll be able to edit together multiple angles and different scenes.
Keep y our v ideo s afe
The last thing you want is your video to end up online or for someone to come across it on your computer on accident. Your most secure option is to agree to watch the tape together, then immediately delete it. You’ll still get to enjoy your home movie, with the added peace of mind of knowing no one else will. Another is to keep your faces out of the film, or wear some sort of eye mask to partially obscure your face. Of course, this won’t completely protect your privacy, but could give you some level of plausible deniability.
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If you want to keep your footage, let’s make sure you take a few precautions:
There’s no such thing as a foolproof way to keep your video secure and private, so know the risks before you film it. Still, it’s easy enough to keep your sex tape relatively safe as long as you take the above precautions.
This article was originally published in September 2015 and updated on Nov. 17, 2020 to refresh outdated links, update recommendations, and align the content with current Lifehacker style.
How to Make a Sex Tape With Your Phone
How to Make a Sex Tape With Your Phone
Here’s What You Need to Know About Making a Home Sex Tape
The sex tape is a quintessential modern art form.
While pornography has basically been around since humans could scrawl drawings of naked people onto rock faces, sex tapes are only as old as handheld, cheaply available video recording technology.
Camcorders certainly made sex tapes possible for the average person, but they only became widespread with the popularization of the smartphone. That just meant being able to videotape your sex life was no more complicated than taking a picture of your lunch. But just because you can take a video of yourself having sex with your partner (or partners) doesn’t mean you should, and it certainly doesn’t mean the final product will be high-quality.
RELATED: How to Take a Non-Terrible Dick Pic
That being said, there’s something undeniably tantalizing about having a recording of your lovemaking — otherwise, why would so many people make their own, despite running the risk of them being leaked?
To help you make a sex tape that’s both hot and unlikely to ruin your life, we spoke with two sexperts and an actual porn director to get a behind-the-scenes look at shooting undercover footage.
Why Do People Make Sex Tapes?
You might get the impression that the only people comfortable being filmed in the act are porn stars (and the occasional Hollywood celeb), but the truth is that sex tapes are both very common and an almost democratic concept.
“There are plenty of reasons to make a homemade sex tape,” says Kayla Lords, sexpert for JackAndJillAdult.com. “Some people want to relive the experience later. They get off on watching themselves (or their partner) experience sexual pleasure. Other people are exhibitionists who want to be watched and making a sex tape can be a great way to do that. And still others (who may also fall into one of the other categories) want to make money from their own amateur porn.”
Sex Tape Dos and Don’ts
Talk About It First
If you really want to film your own sex, don’t just whip your phone out and start shooting in the middle of the action. Instead, you should talk to the person (or people) you want to shoot with and see how they feel first.
“Talk to your lover in advance about your fantasies as well as your concerns,” says Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., host of the “@SexWithDrJess Podcast.” “Listen to theirs intently and only proceed if you’re both fully on-board.”
On top of consent and comfort levels, it’s also not a bad time to sketch out ideas for any narrative elements you want to explore. That’s not something you need to incorporate, but it can be fun if that’s something you’re into.
“Be original!” says Erika Lust, independent porn director and author of “Let’s Make A Porno,” a free e-book out now. “If you want to incorporate a little story into your film then ignore the typical porn archetypes. No more pizza delivery boys, plumbers, school girls … be creative and talk to your partner about the different sexual fantasies you have. The more unusual the better!”
Don’t Forget the Setting
Once all parties are game, it’s time to think about where you’re going to shoot. If it’s at home, now would be a good time to tidy up.
“Clean up your room first, so you can enjoy the video and you won’t be distracted by piles of laundry,” suggests O’Reilly. Lust agrees wholeheartedly, adding that “an ugly doll, pet. or ornament invading the picture can be completely distracting from the main section.”
That being said, there’s no rule tying you to the bedroom.
“The bed and the couch may be the most comfortable spots for you to have sex on, but don’t underestimate other, less-explored places in the home,” says Lust. “The laundry room, the shower or the kitchen can be great sets for your sex tape.”
RELATED: How to Take Sexy Photos of Your Girlfriend
Wherever you shoot, consider what it looks like — is it an interesting location or does it feel boring as scenery? A unique location can take your sex tape to the next level.
“If you’ve ever visited an amateur porn website, you have seen the greyish colors that dominate the scenes,” notes Lust. “White walls, grey sheets and curtains, dark brown bedheads, and yellowish light that casts shadowy hues on the skin. As much as you can, try to use color. Take advantage of colored walls in your house. Red or blue are great options.”
Think Like a Director
Now it’s time to think about camera angles and placement. Will you be holding the camera yourself, getting someone else to shoot for you or using a tripod? Whatever you’re choosing, start thinking about your sex not just in terms of how it feels, but in terms of how it looks.
“Make sure your camera can catch as much of the action as possible,” says Lords. “You’re not a cinematographer and this isn’t professional. Set up your camera as best you can to focus on the bed or wherever you’re having sex.”
It’s also a good idea to test out the quality of the lighting. Are you shooting during the day with natural light, or at night with artificial light?
“Don’t forget the lighting,” adds Lords. “If you plan to watch it later or you want to upload it as amateur porn, make sure you have enough lights so that you can actually see what’s happening.”
Don’t Try to Be a Porn Star
Once your camera is set up and the lighting is just right, it’s time to put the “sex” in “sex tape.” But what kind of sex are you going to have, exactly?
“Be yourselves,” advises O’Reilly. “Don’t try to be a porn star. Allow your movements to flow naturally and your sounds to emanate according to your authentic reactions. Remember that many porn videos are shot with moving camera operators, multiple cameras, directors and fluffers — all resources you probably don’t have on-hand.”
RELATED: The Porn Moves You Shouldn’t Try in Real Life
Stick to what you know, and if you’re not an Olympic gymnast who can bend into the wildest of positions, now’s not the time to try.
“Don’t suddenly start trying to do sex athletics or new moves and positions that you have seen in porn,” agrees Lust. “Stick with positions that you and your partner enjoy, that bring you genuine pleasure. In porn, performers often do positions that look good for the camera, but for your home video you don’t need to do this. When you’re re-watching it, you’d rather see yourself comfortable and experiencing pleasure than moving your body into awkward positions that don’t necessarily feel good.”
Have Fun With It
Next up? Watching the finished product. For starters, you should be aware that even if you’ve tried your best, it might not look like the mainstream porn you’re used to.
“Don’t worry about perfection,” advises Lords. “You’re not making professional porn. Getting the perfect angle when someone orgasms isn’t necessary.”
If you have the technology and the know-how, you might be compelled to do some post-production on the footage, particularly if you were using different cameras or camera angles over the course of the shooting. Here, Lust says, you’ll probably want to be straightforward rather than artsy.
“I would strongly advise against using ‘creative’ bumpers,” she notes. “Bumpers are the transitions between different shots and they come in the form of cuts, fading, a page-turning effect or a spiral. The latter, as well as being awful to watch, slows down the action and would dampen anyone’s libido. To move from one scene to another, a simple cut or fade are your best bets.”
Ultimately, though, a sex tape that makes you happy is the one that you and your partner like the most. If you want to throw out any of this advice, that’s fine.
“More than anything, this is about enjoying yourselves,” says Lust. “If you and your partner have a fantasy that you haven’t tried out yet, now is the time to make it happen and have it live on film. You’ll be able to go back and watch your fantasy being acted out by yourselves, [and] there isn’t anything sexier than that!”
Protecting Your Sex Tape
Of course, making the sex tape is only a part of the big picture. There’s also the question of what happens with it afterward.
If you’ve ever seen badly lit celebrity sex tape thumbnails pop up on online porn sites, you know that it’s possible for that private mementos to quickly turn into everyone else’s business.
If your intent is to become an amateur (or even professional) porn star, maybe you want as many people as possible to see it! That’s fine, but it’s also cool to want to keep your sex tape a secret.
“Some of the risks associated with making a sex tape are indisputable,” says O’Reilly. “The possibility of internet exposure in a world in which everything is permanent. There’s the horror of your kids, coworkers, parents, babysitter or neighbors stumbling across it, or the threat of a current lover becoming a vindictive ex and using the tape against you.”
That’s enough to make anyone think twice about filming (or keeping) a sex tape.
“You likely want to weigh these risks against the potential for pleasure and evaluate the relative costs to both you and your lover,” adds O’Reilly.
RELATED: Here’s What It’s Like to Have Your Nudes Leaked
That being said, just because the worst case scenario is pretty bad doesn’t mean you can’t have any fun with the concept.
“If you’re worried about someone else stumbling upon your video or accidentally uploading to the cloud, consider these precautions:
“Record directly to a memory card and agree to a download/upload ban so that the video never makes it to your laptop, tablet or smartphone,” says O’Reilly. “You can always watch it on the camera screen or play it directly from a card reader without uploading it to your hard drive.”
If you’re shooting on your phone, simply watch the video together once you’re done shooting and then delete it. “The thrill of the recording may be all you need, so don’t feel you need to hang on to the video evidence indefinitely,” she continues.
Another option? Go low tech instead of high tech. O’Reilly suggests “using an old VHS camera that records directly to tape.”
“I’m sure they exist in pawn shops and on Amazon and they offer the added benefit of being able to physically destroy the evidence once your viewing pleasure has come to a close.”
If you really do want to keep a copy, you could always disguise your identities. “Take turns holding the camera and agree to avoid filming one another’s faces,” she notes. “Lower the lights so that your facial features are indistinguishable, or [just] wear a wig.”
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Everything you need to know to make your own sex video
This originally ran as a topic for my MailOnline column but it’s something I’m asked so often and is so timeless, I wanted to run it here so it stays in the archives.
Since the infamous Paris Hilton sex tape made its way onto our screens – a lifetime ago – plenty of us have secretly fancied making our own porn film.
If you’re a natural extrovert and always thought you’d look far sexier on screen than the average porn star, it seems like a brilliant way to showcase your sex skills.
If you’re long-distance lovers, what better way to keep you both sexually satisfied? And what long-term relationship doesn’t need a little wake-up nudge now and then?
What stops most of us actually following through is worrying that, rather than looking like sex gods, we’ll end up looking quite the opposite.
Idiotic. Unattractive. Ridiculous. Fat.
This is why I spoke to couples who’ve made more than a few sex videos to put together this foolproof, DIY guide to making your own – guaranteed hot and flattering – porn film.
Get naked and get filming!
Take baby steps
Start by taking photos of yourself naked or in lingerie, then let your partner do the same. This is useful for figuring out flattering camera angles.
Then take a few selfies while you’re having solo sex or sex with your partner.
Film little 10 second videos on your phone of you both doing different things and work out what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not.
Never feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to.
Plan what you’re going to film
If it’s your first time, you’ll both feel self-conscious and awkward once the camera’s on: it helps to have a plan to follow.
Role-playing something works well for some people because of this. If you’re in character, you’re ‘acting’. Some people feel less self-conscious than trying to just be ‘yourself’.
If the mere thought of role-play makes you want to stick pins into your eyes, ‘acting’ might just add to the pressure.
In this case, make a list of things you love doing together and decide on three or four to film.
Props make things more interesting. Sex toys are the obvious addition and ‘outfits’ but you can incorporate everyday stuff as well.
Feed each other or lick food off each other’s bodies, run ice-cubes over thighs and breasts, spank with a hairbrush.
Get camera ready
Some couples love the natural, sweaty look of amateur porn because it looks more realistic. Others want high-end production and that means loads of make-up, hair done, other hair waxed or shaped. Fake tan covers a multitude of sins, so does ‘body foundation’.
A slick of some kind of body oil stops skin looking dull.
I’d strongly suggest investing in some great, flattering lingerie: it takes guts getting naked in front of a camera.
If you’re semi-naked, in something that you know makes you look fantastic, you’ll be far more confident.
Where to film it
The bedroom is the obvious place – but it might not be the right one.
It also depends on what you’re filming.
If you want to film your partner stripping, they need room to move. If you want lots of extreme close-ups of your parts, you need good light.
Most of all, you need privacy. If you don’t have it at home, consider renting a cheap hotel room and filming it there.
Can I film it on my phone?
Smartphones are the obvious choice because all have a video function (though take precautions to make sure the recording is safe, see the sidebar).
Phones are small and as long as you have good light, the quality is OK. Best of all, you already own one!
If you really enjoyed the experience, maybe then move onto a better quality camera or a camcorder.
Some swear ‘action cameras’ like a GoPro are fab for making DIY porn.
Tripods are inexpensive and really useful. You can buy them for your phone or a recorder or camera.
The right lighting is crucial
I can’t stress this enough.
Here’s what one couple told me, when they had a shot at filming DIY porn.
“In our heads, we were two attractive twenty-somethings having hot, dirty sex. Neither of us were prepared for the footage that appeared when we pressed play.
“Our skin looked blue and veiny and blotchy – horrible!
“But it was the wobbling fat that sent us both over the edge. The hideous lighting found deposits of it under our chins, on our backs, our tummies, our arms and the thrusting motion made it wobble, jiggle and wiggle in the most awful way.”
Learn from their mistake.
If one or both of you are body-conscious – and who doesn’t want to look good? – try candlelight. It changes the mood and is flattering on the skin. Or open the curtains and film in natural light.
Dimmers on lights are kind. Or leave one lamp on and create sexy silhouettes.
Point lights at the ceiling to make lighting less harsh or put a desk light above you, on a piece of high furniture, pointing down. Try lighting from below, either side as well.
Play around with all this before the action starts. Getting up to constantly adjust lighting completely ruins the mood.
It takes practise to get the right camera angles
Porn is shot at very odd angles with performers putting themselves in unnatural positions so you can see what’s going on.
Have sex how you normally do, and all you’ll see are lots of shots of the back of your heads and backs. Be aware of where the camera is.
You might want to change the camera position when you move onto a new activity: filming you giving him oral sex, while on your knees in front of him, is very different than filming him giving you oral sex.
Try putting the camera along the side of the bed, if you don’t want to be up and down changing the angle. Or put one at each of the bottom corners.
Don’t be scared to hold the camera in your hands and experiment with different points of view.
In non-filmed sex, our bodies stay close. During filming, move them apart to let light in and get a better, more interesting shot.
Mirrors are great for seeing yourselves at more than one angle at once.
Do a trial run
This is just as important as getting the lighting right.
“We put the camera on a self-timer to run for 10 minutes, thinking that was about right, then jumped into position and basically acted our arses off until the timer went, moaning loudly and sucking our tummies in and being all active when usually we’re both lazy and try to just lie there in hope the other one will do all the work.
“It was a lot of effort, quite frankly, and I think both of us were secretly relieved when the time was up.
“The first minute of the video was great. Then the camera wobbled and dropped and the rest was of our knees. I probably don’t need to point out that not a lot happens in sex from the knees down.”
Get into position, jump around a bit. Check the camera isn’t going to move. Check the angle. Check the lighting.
Then and only then….
Have fun!
Start filming after you’ve had some foreplay to relax.
One drink calms nerves and can get you in the mood. Too many is usually a disaster. Everyone looks better sober than drunk!
If things go wrong – which they will – have a laugh about it. If you hate the result, get rid of it.
Most couples I spoke to have a rule that if one of you doesn’t like the footage, it’s deleted.
Not only is this fair, you’ll relax more knowing the video’s not forever if you hate it.
Choose flattering positions
If he’s worried about his gut looking big, do it doggy style in front of the camera so his stomach is hidden and just his shoulders are in view.
If you’re worried about yours, lean on your forearms. It not only hides your tummy but squashes your breasts upwards between your elbows.
Don’t be scared to go up close on just your faces. Watching your lover’s eye glaze over with lust while you’re pleasuring them is hugely erotic. Watching each other’s ‘orgasm face’ is fascinating – and a bit of a laugh, if truth be told!
Ham it up!
Do everything you want to do but over-exaggerate it.
Don’t stick to one activity for too long, either. It feels nice but it’s boring to watch.
Make noise. Moan. Groan. Talk dirty. Laugh.
Don’t watch it straight away
We’re all a lot better at watching ourselves on video because of our phones – selfies and videos are part of everyday life for lots of us.
But there’s a difference between being clothed on camera and being stark naked on camera, having sex.
Even if you’re well aware that professional porn stars are bleached and waxed, have maybe had labiaplasty to make themselves look totally symmetrical and chosen for their bodies as well as performance, it’s hard not to compare.
You put a filter on your Instagram posts. Why not sprinkle fairy dust over your sex tape?
In other words…
Edit the hell out of it
If you’re shooting it on your phone – as most people do – play around with the basic editing software to check out how you can make yourselves look (even) better.
Filming or editing it into black and white makes everything look classier.
All sex videos are better when the boring bits are cut out. (There are many online instructions on how to edit videos, so I’ll leave that bit to you!)
All done?
Now sit back with a glass of bubbly, clink a toast to each other, and settle in to admire your handiwork.
“Making a sex video was one of the best things I’ve ever done,” one 48-year-old woman told me.
“I was worried I’d focus on looking past it but instead I was shocked at how hot I look when I’m aroused.
“We only made one or two videos but we watch them over and over and they never fail to turn us on.”
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