Top 25 How To Make My Ex Girlfriend Chase Me The 81 Correct Answer

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How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend to Chase You: 13 Powerful Tips

1 Go no-contact.
2 Stay connected to mutual friends.
3 Post photos of you having fun.
4 Act happy and confident if you run into her.
5 Text her when your no-contact period ends.
6 Keep your interactions short.

Contents

How can I win my ex girlfriend?

18 Ways to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back (That Never Fail)

Fools rush in. …
Give her space. …
Remember why you split up. …
No drunken texting. …
Remember why she first liked you. …
Want advice specific to your situation? …
‘Sorry’ seems to be the hardest word. …
Let her remember the good times.

Do exes like to be chased?

Chasing your ex, on the other hand, is an ego stroke for them. So it should not come as a surprise that your ex would like and enjoy that. If you chase your ex, he or she will feel more attractive and confident. It’s flattering.

How do I get my ex girlfriend to miss me like crazy?

Here are some tips to make your ex girlfriend desperately miss you.

Go out of sight. This is a no brainer. …
Be resolute. …
Make a comeback! …
Make her spot you. …
Be very courteous and then vanish again. …
Let your friends be your mouthpiece. …
Make her wait. …
Do You Truly Wish You Can Get Back Together with Your Ex?

How do you make your ex want you back without talking to him?

Conclusion: The key to making an ex miss you without talking to him is… not trying too hard. All you really need to do is enact a no-contact rule and let the backwards law do its thing. You should focus on growing yourself as a person and that will give you the best chance of making your ex miss you.

How do you know if your ex still cares about you?

Analyzing Their Words. Make note of times they’ve said “I miss you.” Sometimes, your ex might say things that will directly indicate that they still care. If they are telling you that they miss you or miss being around you, this is a clear sign that they still have feelings for you. Notice if they bring up old memories …

Make Your Ex Girlfriend Chase You

How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend to Chase You: 13 Powerful Tips

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Summary of article content: Articles about How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend to Chase You: 13 Powerful Tips Updating …
Most searched keywords: Whether you are looking for How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend to Chase You: 13 Powerful Tips Updating Do you want your ex back without a lot of effort? Why not get her to chase you? It’s totally possible to get your ex to fall for you again, and we’re here to help. We have the ultimate guide to getting your ex-girlfriend to chase you….
Table of Contents:

Steps

Community Q&A

Tips

Warnings

How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Chase You- Ex Girlfriend Recovery

Can you do me a favor?

Yes?

Ok, I want you to close your eyes and picture something for me.

Picture that your ex girlfriend, the girl who despises you right now, is chasing you. No, lets take this a step further and say that she is infatuated with you. She is constantly texting you messages like,

Oh, and did I mention that she is blowing your phone up with voice mails too?

Well, she is.

Heck, even the other day she showed up at your doorstep trying to get you to come out with her for a drink (which you declined of course because your time is much too valuable.)

Now open your eyes.

Does the “fantasy scenario” I just described sound like your reality right now?

I would be shocked if it did. I mean, you are reading an article on how to get your ex girlfriend to chase you.

Welcome To “Chasing With Ex Girlfriends 101”

I feel like I am teaching a college class here 😉 .

So, what I want to do for you now is teach you a method in which you can turn your current reality into the fantasy situation that I described above.

In effect, I want to take you from point A to point B.

Point A = The depressing reality where your ex girlfriend wants nothing to do with you.

Point B= The future in which your ex girlfriend becomes obsessed and infatuated with you.

The purpose of this page is relatively simple.

I am going to teach you what you need to do to get your ex girlfriend to chase you and I am going to be doing that by following this game plan,

Now, if you don’t understand any of what I wrote about there don’t be too freaked out.

This method is rather complex and it takes this entire page to get through.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back? Take the quiz

Of course, before I can really dive into dissecting this game plan there are a few important things that I need to discuss with you.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back? Take the quiz

What I Consider To Be “Chasing”

This entire page is premised around the idea of getting a woman (your ex girlfriend) to chase after you.

But what does that mean?

How are we supposed to define “chasing?”

Well, that’s what I’d like to talk about right now.

Gender roles always dictate that it is a mans job to court the woman.

He typically courts her by buying her flowers, saying nice things and making big romantic gestures.

Hey, just take a look at pretty much all romantic comedies now-a-days.

When was the last time that you saw a woman court a man in one of these?

Hmmm…

How about never?

Ok, there may be one or two instances in which it’s the woman who courts the man but generally speaking you just don’t see that in the movies anymore.

So, what is the point of me telling you all of this?

Simple, society has dictated that it’s a man’s job to chase after and get the woman and not the other way around.

In other words, courting = chasing.

Anything that is considered courting is what I consider chasing.

Buying flowers… chasing

Big romantic gestures… chasing

Saying nice things through text messages… chasing

Saying nice things on the phone… chasing

Asking someone out on a date… chasing

So, the point of this article is to flip the gender roles and get your ex girlfriend to start chasing you instead of the other way around.

So,

Instead of you buying your ex flowers she would buy you flowers.

Instead of you making a big romantic gesture your ex would make the gesture

She would say the nice things to you in text messages

She would say the nice things to you on the phone

Oh, and how could I forget that she would be the one to ask you out on a date

Why Your Ex Girlfriend Isn’t Chasing You Right Now

Your ex girlfriend isn’t chasing (courting) you right now is she?

I think I might know why.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back? Take the quiz

You’ve heard of the phrase “GNAT” before, right?

Well, if you haven’t “GNAT” is a very clever acronym for “Going Nuts At Texting.”

G- Going

N- Nuts

A- At

T- Texting

It basically describes an overly needy and desperate ex boyfriend who is trying to get his girlfriend back.

This is the type of guy that quite literally goes nuts at texting.

For example, he would very desperately send these types of text messages to his ex girlfriend,

Do you see how desperate and pathetic this was?

I have often described “GNAT” as the type of gnats that fly around your head and never leave you alone.

Do you know what I am talking about?

It’s like no matter how many times you try to swat these things away they never leave. Well, that’s what your ex girlfriend probably feels when she thinks of you if you were a “GNAT” to her.

Oh, I do feel it’s important to mention that even though “GNAT” does stand for going nuts at texting it doesn’t just extend to texting. A person can be a “GNAP” and a “GNIP.”

GNAP – Going Nuts At Phoning

GNIP- Going Nuts In Person

They are basically the same thing as a “GNAT” except instead of the medium being through texting they are through phone calls and in person encounters.

The main point I am trying to get at here is that if you are a “GNAT,” “GNAP” or “GNIP” to your ex girlfriend then she is going to do the opposite of chase you, she is going to to run from you.

So, the question you are probably wondering now is how do you stop from being a GNAT?

PART ONE: Getting Your Ex Girlfriend To Chase You Through The No Contact Rule

Ah the no contact rule.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back? Take the quiz

One of the most popular strategies here on ex girlfriend recovery.

For those of you who are wondering, the no contact rule is the part of our game plan with a star on it,

The no contact rule is essential if you want your ex girlfriend to chase you.

Above I mentioned one of the biggest mistakes that men make after a breakup (being needy, GNAT, GNAP, GNIP and all that good stuff.) Now, I realize that you may have done everything perfectly after the breakup but lets just assume that you didn’t.

Let’s assume you ventured into the “crazy ex boyfriend” realm with your neediness and desperation.

Your ex girlfriend isn’t going to be drawn to you if you are crazy.

So, rather than trying to salvage the situation by reasoning with her you should take the opposite approach and let time salvage it.

Look, if you were a GNAT to your ex then she is going to form certain assumptions about you. In order to shake these assumptions you are going to utilize something I like to call the no contact rule.

What Is The No Contact Rule (And How It Can Help)

I have written about the no contact rule a lot on this site and have featured it heavily in my book,

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back? Take the quiz

But for those of you who don’t know what it is I would like to give you a quick crash course.

Here is the formal definition of NC (no contact)

The No Contact Rule- A period of time in which you DO NOT contact someone on purpose.

Here is how Ex Girlfriend Recovery defines it,

The No Contact Rule- A period of time between 21 days, 30 days and 45 days in which you completely freeze out (do not talk to) your ex girlfriend.

That’s basically it in a nutshell right there.

Now, I realize that some of the readers who are new to this concept may still be a little confused as to what the no contact rule entails and some of the purpose behind it. If that is you and you would like more of an explanation as to how it works I recommend reading the in-depth guide I wrote about the no contact rule here.

Ok, now that I gave you a quick crash course lets turn our attention to the reason for why you are here.

Helping you understand why the no contact rule makes your ex girlfriend chase you.

How The No Contact Rule Can Potentially Make Your Ex Girlfriend Chase You

The no contact rule really helps to make your ex girlfriend to chase you in two ways.

The first way is actually pretty simple.

You remember the hypothetical situation I was going on and on about above where you were a GNAT to your ex girlfriend and she would want nothing to do with you? Well, if you were to implement a no contact rule you are going to reshape what your ex girlfriend thinks about you.

Assuming you were GNATTY she is going to be conditioned to think that you are going to be the one chasing her.

However, once you implement the no contact rule you are going to be doing the exact opposite of what she is expecting. Remember, she is thinking that you are going to continue to blow up her phone with text messages and phone calls.

Of course, since the no contact rule strictly forbids you from doing that the phone calls and text messages that she is expecting will never come.

“Hmm… that’s strange” she will think to herself.

This is when something very interesting happens and it also happens to be the second way in which the no contact rule can help you to make your ex girlfriend chase you.

It is human nature to feel wanted and loved by others.

For example, while I think I have a pretty good head on my shoulders even I love to hear how great I am from people from time to time (hey, no holds barred honest right here.)

I am betting you would love nothing more than having this girl,

Walk up to you and tell you how great of a human being you are.

No seriously, if this woman walked up to you and gushed about how incredible you were right now you would walk around feeling like a million bucks.

Well, your ex girlfriend is no different.

She wants to feel wanted in loved in a relationship just like every other woman walking this earth.

Of course, what happens to us all when we feel wanted and loved by the same person too much?

We grow complacent.

Your ex girlfriend is probably very used to feeling wanted by you after the breakup. She is so used to it in fact that she has probably grown complacent with what it really means.

However, when you take all that attention away via the no contact rule something very interesting begins to happen.

All of a sudden she misses you chasing her.

She misses feeling wanted by you.

And what happens when someone misses something?

THEY START CHASING AFTER IT!

PART TWO- Understanding The Chase Factors

The no contact rule alone isn’t enough to get your ex girlfriend to chase you. No, it is going to take a lot more than that to accomplish this task.

I like to tell men that they have to understand the certain “chase factors” that women look for in men.

What are these chase factors?

Think of it like this.

Women are drawn to certain things in men.

If a man has enough to these things she will actively chase after him.

Hmm… how can I put this in an easier way to understand?

Oh, I know!

Ok, this is maybe going to sound a little weird to you but bear with me here. Lets take a look at a few celebrities who have women going crazy for them.

Justin Bieber

Brad Pitt

One Direction (The Silly Boy Band)

When you look at these three celebrities/celebrity entities what do all three of them have in common?

All three of them hit on a lot of chase factors that attract women.

Take Brad Pitt for example.

He is good looking

Rich

Considered an “Alpha Male”

Extremely challenging to win over

He’s interesting and sophisticated

Oh, and he is probably one of the biggest celebrities in the world.

All of these are the chase factors that women are looking for in a potential mate and they are all something that all of the celebrities above have in spades.

Take Justin Bieber for example.

Now, I am definitely not a fan of this little *****. Nevertheless, I won’t deny that he is extremely popular and does an amazing job of getting the little “tweens” to chase him.

Again, Bieber is,

Good looking

Rich

An Alpha Male to the women (though I don’t think he is)

Challenging to get

Very interesting

A huge celebrity

Are you seeing the trend yet?

Now, for those of you who are sitting there rolling your eyes and thinking that the celebrity factor is the only reason that these types of celebrities have thousands of women chasing after them I want to introduce you to a celebrity that is arguably more talented than everyone on that list that no woman chases after.

Meet Steve Buscemi

Buscemi is without a doubt one of the most talented actors walking this planet.

Anyone who has seen him in “Reservior Dogs,” “The Big Lebowski” and “Boardwalk Empire” will know what I am talking about.

The guy is just an amazing actor.

However, he doesn’t have hordes of women chasing after him.

Why?

Because, he doesn’t do a great job of hitting on all the chase factors that women have.

For example,

He isn’t good looking

He isn’t perceived by women as an “Alpha Male”

He isn’t perceived as challenging to get

Not many women want to picture a future with him

So, while Buscemi is considered a celebrity he didn’t really do a great job on hitting on the chase factors that attract women.

If that doesn’t explain the importance of chase factors to you then I don’t know what will.

What Are The “Chase Factors?”

So, now that you understand the power of chase factors lets turn our attention to understanding what they are one by one.

Below I have compiled a list of the major chase factors that cause women to chase after men.

Things they don’t have

Alpha Males

Challenging

Social Value

Personality

Future

Financial Value

Genetic Value

That’s a lot of chase factors, huh?

Well, lets go down the list one by one and really get a good grasp of what each of these are.

We will start with

Things Women Don’t Have

Tell me if this story sounds familiar.

Two children (gender doesn’t matter) are sitting in a playpen.

One of the children is playing with an amazing toy while the other child doesn’t have any toys to play with.

Now, the child with the toy is extremely happy.

The child without the toy is extremely unhappy.

What do you think happens now?

Well, the child with the toy will most likely try to take the toy from the child with it.

Does this sound familiar?

Try this one on for size.

You are walking down the street one day and you notice an orange bar lying in the road. All of a sudden someone comes up to you and tells you that there is no way you can jump over it. You look at the bar and think to yourself,

“What is this person talking about? I can totally jump over that.”

So, you go and do it.

What’s the point of me telling you these two stories?

People don’t like to be told they can’t have or can’t do something.

When they are told that they aren’t capable of accomplishing something they will most likely take the necessary steps to prove you wrong.

Take our example of the celebrities above.

Common sense tells us that a woman can’t have Brad Pitt.

However, even though most women understand this they are wildly turned on by it.

As a result, he has millions of women chasing after him.

Alpha Males

I have written about alpha males a lot on this site and on my E-Book,

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back? Take the quiz

I will leave it to you to check out that resource on alpha males (and how to become one.)

What I would like to do in this section is talk about why women chase them.

Think of the alpha male in a wolf pack.

He makes all the decisions for the pack.

Where they go…

What they do…

What they eat…

The survival of the pack is his number one priority.

He provides for them…

Protects them…

And does everything to ensure their survival.

(It’s vicious out there in the wild.)

Now lets turn our attention to what women want in a man outside of the obvious romantic things.

A woman wants a man to protect her (just like an alpha wolf)

She wants a man to provide for her (again, like an alpha wolf)

She also wants a man to lead (JUST LIKE AN ALPHA WOLF)

When a woman sees a man that can bring these characteristics to the table she is not only going to be immediately turned on but she will actively chase after him to win him over.

Someone Challenging

What’s that famous quote?

“A woman that can be bought isn’t worth having at all.”

It turns out that the same is true of men, just in a different way.

“A man who isn’t challenging isn’t worth having.”

One of the biggest mistakes that I see men continually make after a breakup with their ex girlfriend is the fact that they are way too available for them. What’s challenging about a man who is readily available for a woman?

We have all heard the generic “nice guys finish last” quote.

Well, I don’t buy in to that fact.

Nice guys don’t finish last. In fact, a lot of them finish first once they figure out what men who aren’t nice are doing.

What are they doing?

THEY AREN’T READILY AVAILABLE.

They provide a woman with a challenge and someone who is challenging is worth chasing.

Social Value

This is something that I bet you would never think of.

When I talk about social value I talk about the popularity factor.

As much as I can talk about the celebrities above having women chasing them because of the “chase factor” one fact remains, they are celebrities. That in and of itself is a chase factor.

Women are drawn to shiny objects and what’s shinier than a man who is a celebrity?

Of course, I am not expecting you to become a celebrity so I am going to dumb this down to a level that us regular guys can achieve.

Imagine that you are on a date with a girl and you go out to a restaurant. At this restaurant you start bumping into a lot of people you know.

The hostess knows you…

The waiter knows you…

The manager knows you…

The couple sitting a few table overs knows you…

Now, to you this may not seem like much but to your date this is massive.

In her head she is probably thinking something like,

“Who the heck is this guy? He knows everyone. People must love him.”

Lets spice things up a little bit more and say that before all these people you know started coming up and saying hi to you at the restaurant your date didn’t seem that into you. However, after you exhibited your social value to her she started warming up.

Showing that you have social value is important because it creates this interesting “celebrity effect” where you are a celebrity in a woman’s mind.

And what happens with women and celebrities?

THEY CHASE THEM!

Personality

Whoever said personality doesn’t matter?

It is definitely not true.

I have this theory.

Looks get you in the door but personality keeps you there.

It’s easy to impress a woman with your looks (you really don’t have to do anything) but looks only take you so far.

Your intelligence, humor, beliefs, ego, openness, compassion and logic are really what can keep a woman interested in you.

Of course, I have often wondered what would happen if someone had an amazing personality but was lacking in looks. Would he still be able to get a woman to chase after him.

For example, would a man who was a 5 out of 10 in looks,

Be able to get a girl who is a 10 out of 10 on looks to chase him based on his personality?

Hmm…

Well, in order for that to happen he would have to really have an interesting personality that would be out of this world.

I guess it is possible..

Personality for the win!

Future

I had a gentleman email me today asking me a question about how he could get his girlfriend back.

Now, based on the sheer volume of questions I get on a daily basis I find it hard to respond to emails but something about this particular mans email made me want to read it.

Maybe it was the fact that he was scrambling for an explanation of what the heck happened with his girlfriend.

As I read through his story one thing became clear.

His ex wanted a future with him.

However, his inability to fully commit to her or at the very least do something to show her that he wanted a future with her too caused his demise.

For those of you who are reading this please take what I am about to say very seriously.

MOST WOMEN WANT A FUTURE WITH THE PERSON THEY DATE.

The prospect of being alone scares most people half to death.

Your ex girlfriend isn’t any different.

She is more likely to chase after a man she sees a future with than one she doesn’t.

Don’t ever forget that.

Financial Value

If there are any women out there reading this then I apologize if I am about to offend you.

Women like men with money.

As much as people debate it, it’s a proven fact.

According to an article from the Huffington Post since the beginning of time women prefer men with resources and in today’s day and age resources are equal to money.

How can I put this in an easy to understand way?

Oh, I know.

Ok, lets imagine that we cloned you. So, instead of just one version of you there are two versions of you.

This cloned version of you is a carbon copy.

Nothing is different.

Well, almost nothing is different.

You have the same personality, looks, beliefs, blah, blah, blah.

The only difference between you and your clone is the fact that your clone is filthy rich.

He makes $1,000,000 a year.

Now, here comes your ex girlfriend who we are going to pretend hasn’t dated you yet. In fact, she is in the process of picking who to date.

She meets you and then she meets your clone.

The two of you are exactly the same except the one big difference between you is that your clone has money and you don’t.

Who do you think she will pick?

Your clone, of course.

She is going to pick the guy in the Ferrari not the guy in the beat up Pinto.

Women chase after money… that’s just the way it is.

Genetic Value

This one is fairly obvious.

Looks matter.

Anyone who tells you anything different is probably lying.

It’s not often that you see an ugly guy being chased down the street by a million women. However, it is more likely to happen if a guy looked like this,

(That’s me by the way.)

Ok, all kidding aside a man who isn’t considered “good looking” is going to have a lower chance of potentially being chased by a woman than a man who is considered “good looking.”

Is it impossible for a man who isn’t “good looking” to get a woman to chase him?

No, it just means he is going to have to hit some of the other chase factors a little bit harder.

Speaking of hitting the other chase factors lets talk about what to do with them now that you understand what all of them are.

PART THREE- Become The Chase Factors

Part three of this guide is really where everything I have been talking about up until this point comes together.

It’s really where you increase your chances of having your ex girlfriend chase after you for a change.

For those of you who don’t know part three is going to be focusing in on this part of the “chase process,”

What do you think the graphic means when it advises you to “become the chase factors?”

Hmm…

This might require some explaining on my part.

What Does “Become The Chase Factors Mean?”

I listed the chase factors above to show you the types of qualities that men have to have in order for a woman to chase him.

Now, since we are dealing with an ex girlfriend and figuring out how to get her to chase you would think that the rules might need to be altered…

They don’t.

Why?

Women are hardwired to chase men in a certain way.

Just because your ex girlfriend dated you at one point doesn’t mean her hardwire has changed.

What does this mean?

Well, it means that in order to increase the odds of getting your ex girlfriend to chase you, you have to hit on the chase factors above (her hardwrie.)

That’s what I mean by “become the chase factors.”

Imagine for a moment that after the breakup instead of sulking or becoming a GNAT you focused specifically on the following,

Becoming more challenging to win over

Working hard to become an alpha male

Building your social value

Improve your looks (as much as you can)

Doing well at work so you can get a promotion

Showing your ex that she can have a potential future with you

Improving your personality by becoming more intelligent, witty, philosophical and compassionate

Well, you will have just hit on every single one of the “chase factors” above.

You would have essentially become everything that your ex girlfriend could ever want in a man causing your odds to go up that she will chase you.

Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it?

I mean, it can’t be that easy to get an ex girlfriend to chase you, right?

WRONG.

The Trap Most Men Fall Into

You know what you need to do.

You need to BECOME the chase factors.

That’s it.

If you can hit on every single one of the chase factors I mention,

Things they don’t have

Alpha Males

Challenging

Social Value

Personality

Future

Financial Value

Genetic Value

You will most likely see a dramatic change in the dynamic of things.

Your ex girlfriend will be drawn to you like she never has been before.

It’s not supposed to be that easy, right?

And therein lies the trap that most men fall into.

Somewhere right now there is a man reading this, rolling his eyes and exclaiming,

“There is no way that this works. There is no way that getting an ex girlfriend to chase you is as simple as just hitting on those silly “chase factors.””

But it is…

Most men are just too afraid or lazy to do it.

Make no mistake about it, hitting on the factors above is going to take some work.

But before you scoff and move on to the next article in your internet search I want to ask you something.

Is she worth it?

If she is then isn’t this worth a try?

I promise you that you will be hard pressed to find someone with more experience or better credentials than me in the digital romance space.

Just sayin…

How to Get My Ex to Chase Me and Initiate the Reconciliation

How to Get My Ex to Chase Me and Initiate the Reconciliation

If you want to get your ex to chase you and initiate the reconciliation, here are 5 tips to help you make that happen ASAP:

1. Fix the Things That She Really Dumped You For

Sometimes in a relationship, a guy might get into the habit of behaving in ways that are unattractive to his woman (e.g. he becomes too wimpy or weak-minded, stops making her feel appreciated, becomes too annoying), which then causes her to lose respect and attraction for him over time and eventually leads to her breaking up with him.

So, if he then wants to get his ex to chase him and initiate a reconciliation, he needs to make sure that when he interacts with her (e.g. on a phone call, or in person), he shows her (via his actions, thinking and behavior) that he really has fixed the things that she dumped him for in the first place.

For example: If a woman broke up with a guy because he became too wimpy and weak-minded and was always whining to her (about life, her, problems, work, responsibilities, the government), he needs to show her that he’s now emotionally strong and mature enough to stand on his own two feet like a real man.

He doesn’t sulk or complain about life and instead, takes responsibility for his own fate by learning, improving and becoming a better man as he continues through life.

He is now someone that she can be proud to call her boyfriend (or husband) because he’s not a complainer, a whiner or a wimp.

He’s a real man now.

Another example is if a woman broke up with a guy because he put too much stock in what his friends or family had to say about how he lived his life, so she eventually grew tired of him not being man enough to make his own decisions.

To show her that he’s changed, he needs to let her see that he has become more emotionally independent now (e.g. he’s moved out from the family home, is pursuing a lifelong dream that his family doesn’t approve of, has disconnected from some of his negative friends and has made some new, more positive and supportive friends).

Every relationship is different, so you need to stop for a moment and have a think about your ex’s real reasons for breaking up with you.

From there, you need to make some adjustments to your way of thinking and behavior, so she will be able to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction the next time she interacts with you.

When you do interact with her in person, she will be able to see that you’re no longer the same guy she broke up with and she will then experience new feelings for you.

She will look at you as being a new, improved guy who makes her feel differently.

As she looks at you in that way, she drops her guard and starts thinking something like, “He’s so different now. I really like the new him. I think I made a mistake in breaking up with him and not wanting him back again. I wonder if he would take me back if I asked him for a reconciliation? Maybe I should give this a try. I’m feeling good now, so why not?”

When her guard is down like that, it’s then so easy to hug her, kiss her, hook up with her sexually and get the relationship back together.

She may initiate the reconciliation by asking for it, or by moving in for a hug or kiss, but you shouldn’t expect that from every woman.

Every woman is different.

Some women don’t want to make the first move because they fear you might reject them.

Other women don’t want to make the first move because they want to see if you now have the confidence to do it.

So, you can’t rely on just waiting for her to chase you in each and every moment.

Sometimes, you have to put your balls on the line and make a move.

You need to adapt to your unique situation and do what is required to get her back, before you lose her forever.

On that note…

One of the biggest mistakes a guy can make is not doing anything to improve himself after a break up.

He just sits around hoping his ex will chase him and initiate the reconciliation, but he never gets to the point where he fully understands what she wanted him to change about himself (e.g. because he believes everything that went wrong in the relationship was her fault, he doesn’t know how to change, he doesn’t want to change and just expects her to accept him as he is).

Yet, it doesn’t work that way.

For a woman to want to get back with a man, she wants to see that he’s at a different level than before.

If she sees him in person and discovers that nothing about him has really changed and his behavior doesn’t make her feel differently, then she’s not going to feel very motivated to get back together with him.

Instead, she may think something like, “If I had any doubts about breaking up with him before, I’m sure about it now and know that I made the right decision to leave him. He’s waiting for me to come running back to him, even though he’s still turning me off in the same, subtle ways that drove us apart in the first place. I guess he’s not mature enough as a man to figure it out on his own. I’m definitely better off without him. I’ve got to find myself a guy who is already a man.”

She then focuses her energy on getting over her ex, moving on and meeting another guy who can make her feel the way she really wants to feel when in a relationship (i.e. feminine, girly, respectful of her man, sexually attracted, happy, in love).

So, don’t let that happen to you.

It’s actually easy to make a woman feel feminine and girly around you, feel sexually attracted, happy and in love with you.

That is so damn easy.

In fact, it takes less work than most guys realize because it’s mostly about you taking back the position of power and letting her be your girl.

When you make her ex feel the way she really wants to feel around a guy, she will naturally begin to chase you a little and either initiate the reconciliation or hint at wanting one.

On to tip #2…

2. Reactivate Her Feelings in Person or On a Phone Call, But Don’t Try to Get Her Back

This is very important if you want her to chase you and try to get you back because she feels attracted to you and wants you again, but notices that you’re not even trying to get her to commit to a relationship of any kind.

She then feels compelled to either tell you that she wants a relationship again, or she hints at it and hopes that you make the moves to get you and her back together.

However, please note…

The best way to properly reactivate a woman’s feelings for you is on a phone call or in person.

You can’t properly re-attract an ex’s feelings via text if she is turned off by you, doesn’t know that you’ve changed and isn’t interested in getting back with you at this point.

For example: If you just send her random texts (e.g. “I just wanted to say hi” or “Hey, how things?”), or click like on her social media posts to let her know that you are still around, it’s not going to work for most situations.

If you want your ex to have a reason to feel motivated to chase you and initiate a reconciliation, you’ve got to reactivate her feelings on a phone call or in person, so she can see for herself that not only have you changed, but she now feels differently when she interacts with you.

She feels sparks of respect, attraction and love for who you are now, which makes her feel motivated to want to make something happen between you and her.

This is why it’s so important to interact with her on a phone call or in person, rather than sending her random texts, clicking like on her social media posts or worse, simply ignoring her and hoping that she comes back on her own.

So many guys lose their ex girlfriend (or wife) by waiting around and hoping that she will call him up one day and say, “I must have been crazy to break up with you. Can you ever forgive me? I want you back! Please give me another chance with you.”

Unfortunately, many guys wait for weeks, months and in some cases, YEARS, before they decide that she’s not coming back and they’ve lost her.

This is why I’ve never recommended (and never will) simply ignoring your ex woman after the break up, in the hope that she comes back.

It’s true that some women do come back if they are ignored after a break up, but it only happens if a woman is still in love with her ex and already regrets breaking up with him.

In almost all other instances, if a woman has disconnected with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for a guy and then broken up with him, she’s not going to be very impressed by his actions.

She will aim to hook up with a new guy as quickly as she can, to avoid feeling the pain of being ignored, or because she wants to get revenge on her ex for not even trying to get her back after the break up and simply ignoring her and hoping that she does all the work.

Of course, when a guy tries to get his ex back after a break up, he needs to be CALM and CONFIDENT about it.

So many guys lose their ex girlfriend (or wife) by desperately chasing her after a break up.

That doesn’t work.

You have to quickly regain control of your emotions after a break up and then calmly and confidently get her back like a real man.

If you try to hide behind texts or by showing interest from a distance (e.g. clicking like on her social media posts), your ex will most likely be unimpressed and uninspired to chase you and get you back.

Instead, she may just roll her eyeballs and think something like, “Why does he even bother texting me if he’s not going to get me back? He’s just wasting my time and his. I’m not going to be his friend via text” and she then stops replying to his texts.

Alternatively, she may think, “Why does he keep clicking “like” on my posts? Does he think I will be impressed? Does he think that I’ll message him and ask for him to give us another chance? Is he trying to stay on my mind, so I can’t move on? Well, I’ll show him. I’ll hook up with a new guy and post up photos of me and him on dates…then, we’ll see if he clicks like on that.”

If you want your ex back, I recommend that you approach it like a real man, rather than hiding behind texts or cutting off contact and hoping that she makes all the moves.

She might be a little resistant initially, but if you can maintain your confidence and also attract her with your masculine approach, her guard will come down and she will feel attracted.

You’ve just got to be prepared to take a risk and make it happen.

You can’t wait around for her to make things super easy for you by chasing you and begging you for another chance, even though she has little to no feelings for you right now.

You’ve got to MAKE HER have feelings for you again.

The best, easiest and quickest way to do that is to interact with her (over the phone and in person) and reactivate her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you.

When you do that, her thought processes change and she opens back up to being with you.

You have to be active about getting her back, even if you are hoping to make her take all the risk to chase you and initiate the reconciliation.

To make her want you back, you’ve got to make her feel so much respect and sexual attraction for the new you (on a phone call and in person), that she can’t stop herself from wanting you again.

How else can you make her want you?

3. Let Her See That You’re Living a Fun Life Without Her Via Your Social Media Account

If you’re worried about contacting your ex, this is a great way to help make sure her guard is down and she is open to you again when you contact her.

Let her see that you’re living a fun life without her by posting up photos of you having fun with other people, looking confident and seeming totally happy and fine without her.

Some guys are worried about doing that because they assume it will make her angry and want to get revenge by doing the same.

Yet, that’s not how a woman’s attraction for a man works.

Women are attracted to confident men who are loved or liked by others and who don’t need her approval or encouragement to feel good about themselves.

When your ex sees that you’ve been enjoying life without her, it is absolutely guaranteed that she will feel some respect and attraction for the new you.

However, be warned…

She may ACT like she is annoyed by it, not impressed by it or even turned off by it.

Why?

Women do that to test a guy’s confidence.

Will he suddenly lose confidence in himself because she isn’t encouraging him to be happy and live his life?

Will he apologize for making her feel that way (i.e. the pretend anger, disappointed or disgust she is feeling), when she actually feels respect and attraction for him based on how confident and happy she seems without him?

Will he suddenly tell her that he’s been sad, missing her and that he wasn’t really happy in those photos?

Will he submit to her fake protests, even though she wants him to be a confident, dominant, free thinking man?

Women are always looking to see how men react to their tests.

The men that women respect, feel attracted to and love the most are those who do not fall for the tests that women put them through, but who also still treat a woman well and with respect.

It’s not about being arrogant, trying to hurt her or being rude to her.

That’s not what women respect or love.

Instead, it’s about standing on your own two feet and not needing her approval or encouragement to continue standing and feeling confident and happy about yourself and your life.

So many guys get this wrong when trying to get an ex woman back.

For example: Sometimes a guy might start posting photo’s of himself looking sad and lonely on his social media pages.

He might say to himself, “When she sees how miserable I really am without her and that my life has come to a standstill since we broke up, she will realize just how deep my love for her really was. Then she’ll regret breaking up with me and she will come running back. She will see that I care more about her than anything else and that I need her to be happy. She will realize that no other guy would love her like I do. She will know that I am completely dependent on her for my happiness and that will make her feel special.”

Yet, that’s just not how a woman’s attraction works.

A woman feels attracted to a man who is happy, fulfilled and having a great life without her and feels turned off by a man who sits around feeling sorry for himself and doesn’t have much else going on in his life.

Why?

Basically because, when a guy can’t move forward in his life without his woman giving him the emotional support that he needs to cope, he comes across as being emotionally weak, needy and insecure, which are qualities that instinctively turn women off.

So, when a woman comes across social media posts from her ex like, “Feeling sad today,” or “Had a really boring weekend,” or “Same crap, different day,” or sees sad, lonely photos of him, she’s not going to think, “Aww… he’s taking our break up so hard. That must mean he still loves me so much. What have I done? I need to initiate a reconciliation with him right away, before it’s too late and I lose him forever!”

Instead, she will likely think something like, “He’s being so wimpy and weak-minded. I’m so glad I’m not stuck in a relationship with him anymore. He’s clearly not a real man. What was I doing in a relationship with him? I need to find myself a MAN!”

Her guard then goes up and it becomes even more difficult for him to get her back.

So, if you want to encourage your ex to chase you and initiate a reconciliation, you need to get to the point where you’re living a fun, exciting life without her and then let her know all about it, via your social media account.

For example: You can do that by posting photos of yourself on your social media pages doing some of the following things…

Partying and having fun with new friends that she doesn’t know yet.

Doing something exciting you’ve always wanted to do but have been putting off (e.g. go skydiving, white river rafting, on safari in Africa).

Traveling in exotic locations while having fun with the locals.

Having fun doing group activities that include men and women (e.g. mixed sports team, group exercise in the park, wine tasting nights, hiking clubs, pub crawls around your city, salsa dancing classes).

When she can see for herself that you’re living a fun life without her, something amazing happens…

Suddenly, you seem more attractive to her and she begins to think, “I thought he’d be feeling sad and lonely without me and that he’d be trying to get me back. Instead, he’s having a fun time. I never imagined he was so cool. Why wasn’t he more like this when we were together? I want to be a part of the fun life he’s living now that he’s so much more confident in himself. Hold on… what am I saying? I can’t help myself. I want him back.”

That’s how a woman’s attraction really works.

It’s not how a woman will SAY that it works because women don’t want to tell guys, “Hey, the more confident and independent you behave, the more we find you attractive.”

Instead, women go around SAYING that they want men to essentially bow at their feet, buy them gifts, worship the ground they walk on and be super polite, nice, caring and attentive 24/7.

Yet, in reality, women are most attracted to good men who love them and find them attractive, but don’t actually need them.

Next tip…

4. Call Her to Make Her Smile, Have a Laugh Together and Then Get Back to Your Life

You can sit around waiting for your ex to chase you and initiate the reconciliation, but if you don’t re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you first, chances are high that you will be waiting for a long time, if not forever.

On the other hand, if you get her on a phone call with you right away, make her smile, laugh and feel excited about talking to you again and then get back to your life and ignore her for a few days, she won’t be able to stop herself from chasing you.

For example: Imagine you’ve just been talking to your ex on the phone…

She was laughing, smiling and feeling good.

You then said something like, “Okay Jenny, it’s been great talking to you. I do miss you at times, but I also accept that we’ve broken up. I’m heading out to (something cool that you’re about to do with friends), but maybe we can say hi again sometime soon. I hope you have a great week.”

She will then see that you really have changed (i.e. you’re confident and emotionally independent) and her guard will naturally come down.

Soon enough, she will most likely send you a text to say hi (or text you about something random) and that will be your cue to call her and arrange a meet up.

Remember: Not all women have the courage to openly chase you because they’re afraid that you might reject them.

So, if she doesn’t text you or call you after 3-4 days, just call her again and get her smiling, laughing and enjoying talking to you again.

Then, when you know that she’s feeling attracted and open, suggest catching up in person as friends.

At the meet up, you need to continue building on her initial feelings of respect and attraction for you, until she either tells you that she wants to give the relationship another chance, or she hints at it (e.g. hugs you, tells you that she has missed you, is open to kissing you, touches you, says that she likes the new you) and then leaves it up to you to make it happen.

Don’t Let Her Slip Away!

It would be ideal if your ex came chasing after you and begged for a reconciliation, but you shouldn’t have that as your only option to get her back.

Every woman is different and many women simply don’t have the courage to risk being rejected by their ex guy, so they wait for him to make a move.

If he doesn’t, she decides to move on, rather than risking the potential to be rejected and then be the one who is hurting after the break up.

So, rather than losing her forever, just make her come back by sparking her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you again by interacting with her every chance you get from now on.

Then, when she either initiates the reconciliation or opens up to it, you will be sure it’s because she’s more in love with you now than ever before.

You have made her feel new, exciting feelings that she just can’t resist.

It feels good to her.

She wants it.

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How To Make My Ex Chase Me Again

If you want your ex back after they broke up with you, it’s natural for you to want them to chase you.

You likely understand that the table has to turn and the roles have to switch in order for you to get your ex back.

At the time of the breakup, your ex was seen as the more attractive one because it was your ex, after all, who put you aside and walked away.

The one who does the dumping, even though they likely don’t want to hurt you and don’t enjoy breaking up with you, feels a jolt in their level of attractiveness simply because they are in the position of the one breaking up and you are the one who still wants to be with them.

It’s the nature of breakups.

Get your ex back with Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit!

I talk more about it in my post and video, “The Experience of the Dumper.”

If your ex feels that they are more attractive than you, it’s impossible for them to chase you to make an effort to try to get you back.

The drive just won’t be there.

Let The Chase Begin

If the perception is balanced, where you both see each other as equally attractive, there’s more of a likelihood of your ex being drawn to chase you in order to get you back.

But more has to happen as well.

In addition to your own attraction increasing, your ex needs to come to the realization that you could “move on.”

Your ex needs to realize that it is within you to move on and you showing you can stay away is usually more than enough to send that message.

“Moving on,” basically means that your ex could want to get back together with you but you could have outgrown them and, therefore, wouldn’t be interested.

And why would you move on?

You could move on because you are attractive and other people would be happy to have you.

Get your ex back with Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit!

If you want your ex back, he or she must reach a point where they arrive at that conclusion.

It usually takes use of the No Contact Rule to allow your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend to arrive a a place emotionally where they realize the breakup was a mistake.

What Makes An Ex Chase Or Pursue Again?

The reason that we chase something is because it isn’t in our “possession.”

My use of the word “possession” isn’t in the unhealthy sense.

I’m not suggesting that one person be possessive of another as though they were an object to be owned.

There is a sense of a person being “yours” or “mine” that is healthy, fine, and a positive description of an emotional connection.

It’s similar to saying, “He is my boyfriend,” “She is my girlfriend,” or “He is my husband.”

There are different types of relationships statuses and understandings.

For example, some people might have an understanding that they are in a casual relationship with someone and can date other people if they wish.

Other relationships are exclusive, meaning that the two people choose to only have a romantic relationship with each other and, to varying degrees, limit their activity with other people.

If you don’t have the relationship that you desire to have with another person, you will likely pursue or “chase,” to try to obtain that relationship status, understanding, or arrangement.

It would involve contacting the other person, spending time together with him/her, gaging their interest in the desired relationship status, and often stating words of affection in hopes of hearing the same back – all with the goal of getting to the desired relationship status.

So in order for your ex to chase and pursue you again, they need to have the desire for the relationship status that they had with you and to feel that danger exists of it being out of their reach.

Note that I said the “danger exists” of it being out of reach and not that it “is” out of reach.

Your ex needs to feel uncertain that he/she would get you back after realizing that the breakup was possibly a mistake and that they want to be in a relationship with you.

Get your ex back with Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit!

The No Contact Rule helps to bring your ex to that point because it demonstrates to your ex that you can stay away.

Your ex’s line of thinking during no contact is that since they aren’t hearing from you, that you can stay away from them.

The Process

Since you can stay away from them, you can move on with (or to) someone else.

That is when your ex has to start feeling loss.

You see, when your ex broke up with you, they felt control because it was their decision.

You felt loss because you had no say in the situation.

You couldn’t just say, “No,” to the breakup.

You wanted to keep something that was being taken away from you so you felt loss.

Your ex can feel loss when he or she comes to the realization that they could want you back but could not be able to get you back.

That is when your ex has to experience a “real breakup” instead of a fake one and actually has to come face to face with the loss.

It is at this point that your ex can start to determine if this is what they truly want.

They can look back on the time that has passed since the breakup and if your ex missed you, they can learn some things about themselves.

In this case, they would learn that the breakup might have been a mistake.

It’s this first chink in the armor that can lead your ex down a path that re-evaluates your place in their life.

Time is Part of the Chase Equation!

Your ex might stubbornly stay away from you for a while simply because they want to make sure of their feelings and desires.

So don’t think that just because your ex isn’t reaching out to you yet that you don’t have a chance of getting back together with him or her.

The reason your ex allows time to pass is usually because they realize that it took them a while to come to the conclusion that they wanted the breakup.

It didn’t just happen overnight.

So your ex figures that they had better allow time to pass to test their desire for reconciliation as well.

During this time, their feelings can grow to be pretty intense – especially if they continue to not hear from you.

The reason for this is that your ex realizes their desire for you is continuing to be there and that it is possibly even growing stronger but that you could be reaching a point where you wouldn’t want to get back together with them.

That is when your ex feels the risk of loss and is most likely to begin to chase and pursue you.

I go into this is greater detail in the video above and in my Emergency Breakup Kit.

I wish you the best!

–Coach Lee

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