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How does ‘The Glory Hole’ at Lake Berryessa work?

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I worked as a gloryhole girl

I worked as a gloryhole girl

So I used to work at a gloryhole.

I was studying in London. I had no money and my stint as a librarian had come to an abrupt end when I quit out of sheer boredom.

Scanning job listings I happened upon a vague advert offering opportunities at a ‘gloryhole’ – a word I’d never seen before. I sent an email (I’d had a glass of wine) and to my surprise found myself meeting with the ‘maid’, an older lady who couldn’t pronounce her ‘r’s and had clearly seen it all.

She was polite and surprisingly formal – though endearingly frank when describing the mechanics of what was expected of a gloryhole employee.

I’d expected/wanted her to say

“You’re far too respectable to be doing something like this”

and send me home but instead she advised me to work in my underwear (‘because of the fluids’) and asked if I could start on Thursday evening.

And so that’s how I, a nice girl from Canada, wound up sucking d*** for money in a north London flat.

That first day I worked six hours, gave five b******* and went home with £150 – a chunk of which I splurged on a sushi comfort binge. My jaw ached, and even the wasabi couldn’t mask the taste of sperm

And so, every Thursday night for three months I’d make my excuses and head to an anonymous flat in north London to f****** strangers for money.

Everything worked according to a set routine. The maid answered the door, collected the money and walked the guy to the top of the stairs. On the landing there stood a door with a hole in it. The guy put his d*** through and I’d suck him till he came.

I developed a routine: Locking the door and taking off my top whenever the doorbell rang, spitting on the c*** to get it wet, stroking it till it got hard, sucking it till my mouth filled with sperm and spitting the c** into the wash basin in the corner. At least this was the theory.

Some guys couldn’t come. Some couldn’t even get hard. Others would explode in moments. Occasionally guys would stand at the door for a minute or two afterwards, and I’d watch their d*** shrivel away before they pulled their pants back up.

A surprising number of guys preferred to come outside the hole, spraying their mess against the door. After each appointment the maid would scrub the door and landing with bleach – which explained the sickly stench of cleanliness that hung in the air.

Though I’d work alone, occasionally my shift would cross over with another girl’s. I became friendly with two other employees: a ‘larger girl’ – as the British euphemistically put it – who ended every sentence with a giggle – and a pretty little thing from the provinces who was earning rave reviews online and promised me she was about to quit every time I saw her.

Anyway, three months in and it was clear the venture was in trouble – girls were quitting and I was working more shifts, but seeing fewer and fewer guys. Despite her best efforts the maid couldn’t get the place running efficiently – guys would book and never show, or turn up without booking. And so I returned to straight society.

I’d paid off my debts and got out before I’d caught something. And that’s my confession.

By Anonymous

Jun 16, 2016

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Do You or Do You Not Want to Work at This Glory Hole, Ethan?

Listen, Ethan. I hired you because you seem like a good kid. A kid with a lot of potential and ambition. Someone I could count on to come in every morning ready to work, wanting to learn, and hungry to succeed. When we first met, I saw more than just an Ivy League diploma and a pair of Master’s degrees. I saw a kid who seemed ready to take on any challenge thrown his way, even if that challenge was the upkeep of a glory hole in a Cracker Barrel bathroom off the side of I-95.

Your performance has been subpar at best. The fact is, you knew what this was all about the day we had our interview in this very stall. And I thought we were on the same page. I run the business operations—marketing, financials, accounting, etc.—and you? You take this rag and that spray bottle of disinfectant, and you clean that hole in the wall where strangers stick their genitals.

I guess I could tell early on that your heart wasn’t in this. That you felt somehow above this work just because you can “hear all the noises.” I’ll admit it, sterilizing grimy sex-holes at roadside establishments isn’t the most glamorous job in the world, but it’s a job nonetheless. I’ll never understand you Millennials, with your entitlement, too good to earn a hard day’s pay, too good to clean a carved-out piece of dry wall just because it’s used for depraved sex meet-ups.

Don’t think I haven’t noticed all the goofing off you do in your urinal all day. Playing on your cellphone, texting constantly, scouring LinkedIn for a job that doesn’t require you to wear double-ply latex gloves and protective eyewear. Hell, just the other day you were playing Candy Crush while I was trying to teach you how to properly sand down the inner edges of a circular, three-and-a-quarter-inch, anonymous pleasure-factory. Is that showing me that you want to work here? That you’re ready to run a glory hole of your own one day?

You’re not in college anymore. This isn’t some second-rate internship; this is the real world. And in the real world, people walk into bathrooms and pay good money to insert their private parts into mysterious holes and experience the thrill of what awaits in the darkness. It’s called capitalism, Ethan!

You know what? I don’t want to have this talk again. You’re a smart kid. You’re capable of being a doctor or a lawyer or anything else in the world. But the fact remains; you chose to get two English degrees instead of something with more concrete value. And I’m not saying you won’t ever be a professional writer or even the Poet Laureate of the United States one day. But right now, you’ve only got two jobs: first, lose that smug, Ivy League attitude—it’s bothering the hell out of the regulars; and second, take this mixture of ammonia and clinical-grade hand soap, and scrub the Eastern Seaboard’s highest-grossing glory hole until there’s no trace left of the previous session.

Now, are we clear? Great. Please don’t make me sorry for doing your mother this favor.

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