How To Write Flirting Dialogue? Trust The Answer

1. Make a promise. The viewer needs a reason to stay. Why should they? Promise a benefit for continuing to watch, then deliver. In fact hand down.

Please don’t tease the sport by saying, “Joe will have points and more.” Don’t tease the weather the forecast promises. We expect these things. It’s not much of a promise.

2. Avoid subjective adjectives. Fantastic, huge, incredible, breathtaking, amazing, and other inflated descriptions send the signal that you are exaggerating what you can deliver. Keep the adjectives objective (provable).

3. Get a second opinion. The cooperative process works. Make sure video editors feel fully invested in tease production and give them the power to ask questions and suggest changes for teasers that aren’t working well.

4. Show and tell. Match the words, pictures and sounds. Before you write, watch the video you are teasing. Great teasing requires great sound and video; Be sure crews put in their very best video for teasing. Don’t ignore the power of natural sound in teasing. Consider inserting a nat sound break in a tease to break the usual patterns that stun viewers.

What impact might your production choices have on viewers’ understanding of the story? What is your broadcaster’s policy regarding the use of slow motion, still images, mugshots, music, altered audio or video, or filetape?

5. You are what you tease. When you tease sensational tripe, that’s how viewers will remember you. Tease the voice you want to remember. It’s particularly dangerous to ever tease nonsensical “waterskiing squirrel” foosball stories. You stick in viewers’ minds and define everything you do.

Does this ad present fake questions to evoke the viewer’s emotions? Don’t suggest by innuendo that something is harmful when it isn’t. For example, could this tip sheet make you sick? Do socks/bras/grading meters cause cancer?

6. Teasing is not a story. Don’t tell me too much, don’t make me want to keep watching. Teases aren’t mini stories.

7. Teasing is a priority. They shouldn’t be the last thing you write when you’re pressed for time. Teasing tells the viewer how your news show is different from any other news show. Big producers ask reporters—teach reporters—to help write teases. Standup teases should not be filmed after you have finished the story. Remember: Don’t wait until the end of the day to shoot your standup tease. Do your standup teases while you’re at the most visually interesting places during your reporting day.

8. Find the focus. Can the reporter tell you the story in three words? Can they tell you

What surprised you the most?

What is your best sound and pictures?

What is the “connecting tissue” between this story and the viewer? How can this story reach the widest possible audience?

The two biggest problems tease writers face are (1) they don’t understand the story and (2) the story isn’t focused enough yet.

9. Avoid big “if you” teasing. “If you like Jell-O, you’ll enjoy this next story. Or, “If you have kids, then…” What if I don’t like jelly or don’t have kids, then I have no reason to watch. Big teases avoid the word “next.” That something goes on is not new; it is a continuation of what we already know. Great teasing avoids conditional words like might, might, and likely. Viewers see through these “snake oil” terms.

10. Tease a story that the viewer will see as soon as you come back from the break. Big teases often involve immediate gratification in addition to delayed gratification. Be careful not to tease too much. Pick a few stories; don’t compress tons of them into one tease break. spectators are lost. Each time you tease a story, the teasing becomes progressively less effective.

11. Teasing, no information. If the viewer needs to know the information now, give them that information now. Don’t frustrate the viewer by withholding information. Keep angles, not information. This reminds me of a Saturday Night Live sketch about a deadly virus. The SNL “reporter” says: “Later we will tell you how to minimize the deaths you make over time and lose overnight in your family.” PLEASE tell me now!

Don’t tease the coverage that everyone else will be providing as well. Tease what the viewer doesn’t expect of you. For example, don’t say, “Five people died in a fire, we’ll tell you where it happened at 10 p.m.” contributed to the deaths of five local firefighters.”

This is especially important when teasing a story from one newscast to the next.

12. Respect your viewers. Teasing should not fool viewers. Don’t bait and switch. You build your reputation over time and you lose it overnight.

Social behavior that suggests interest in a deeper relationship with the other person

For other uses of “flirt”, “flirt”, and “flirt”, see Flirt (disambiguation)

“Sweet nothings” redirects here. For other uses, see Sweet Nothings

A poster by Henri Gerbault depicting flirtation between a man and a woman

Flirting or flirting is social and sexual behavior that involves verbal or written communication, as well as body language, from one person to another, either to suggest interest in a deeper relationship with the other person or, if done playfully, for entertainment.

Flirting usually involves speaking and acting in a manner that suggests a little greater intimacy than the actual relationship between the parties would warrant, although this is within the rules of social etiquette, which generally involves direct utterance sexual interest in the given environment. This can be accomplished by conveying a sense of playfulness or irony. Ambiguities (one meaning being more formally appropriate and another being more suggestive) can be used. Body language can include stroking hair, eye contact, brief touches, open postures, closeness, and other gestures. Flirting can be done in an understated, shy, or frivolous style. Linguistic communications of interest may include, for example:

Changes in vocal tone (such as tempo, volume and intonation),

Challenges (including teasing, questioning, qualifying, and feigning disinterest) that can serve to increase tension and test intent and congruence

Worship that includes offerings, assent and tact, knowledge and demonstration of poise, self-assurance, prudence and style, a commanding attitude.

Flirting behavior varies across cultures due to different types of social etiquette, such as B. how close people should stand (proxemics), how long to maintain eye contact, how much touch is appropriate, and so on.[1] Still, some behaviors may be more universal. Behavioral scientist Irenäus Eibl-Eibesfeldt, for example, found that women in places as different as Africa and North America exhibit similar flirting behaviors, such as B. A long stare followed by a casual pause in the gaze, along with a small smile.[2]

Etymology[ edit ]

The origin of the word flirt is unclear. The Oxford English Dictionary (first edition) associates it with onomatopoeic words like flit and flick, emphasizing a lack of sincerity; on the other hand, it has been ascribed to the Old French conter fleurette, meaning “to ‘tempt (tempt)’ by dropping petals,” i. H. “speak sweet nothings”. Although old-fashioned, this expression is still used in French, often mockingly, but English flirtatious Gallicism caught on and has now become an Anglicism.[3]

The word fleurette was used in some sonnets[4] and some other texts in the 16th century.[5][6][7] The French word fleurette (little flower) and the Old South French word flouretas (from the Latin flora (for flower)) are related to some little proverbs in which flowers are both a pretext and a comparative term. In southern France, some usages were still in use in 1484. [8] [9] In French, some other more or less related words derive from the word fleur: for example effleurer (English: lightly touch) from the 13th century esflourée; déflorer (English: deflorer) from the 13th century desflorer or (fleuret (Engl. Foil)) from the 18th century.

The association of flowers, spring, youth and women is not modern and was already considered in ancient culture, such as the Chloris in ancient Greece or the Flora (deity) in the ancient Roman Empire, including the Floralia festival, and in other older poems , like the song of songs.[10][11]

history [edit]

During World War II, anthropologist Margaret Mead worked in Britain for the British Ministry of Information and later for the U.S. Office of War Information[12][13], gave speeches and wrote articles to help American soldiers better understand British civilians. [14] and vice versa.[15] She observed a pattern of misunderstandings about who should take what initiative in the flirtations between American soldiers and British women. She wrote of the Americans: “The boy learns to make progress, relying on the girl to reject them when they are inappropriate to the emotional state between the two,” in contrast to the British, where “the girl is brought up to do so , to rely on a slight barrier of cold … which the boys learn to respect and, moreover, can rely on the men to approach or advance as the situation warrants.This led, for example, to that British women interpreted an American soldier’s socializing as something more intimate or serious than he intended.[12]

Communications theorist Paul Watzlawick used this situation, in which “both American soldiers and British girls accused each other of being sexually bold”, as an example of differences in “punctuation” in interpersonal communication. He wrote that in both cultures courtship required approximately 30 steps from “first eye contact to final completion”, but the order of the steps differed. For example, kissing might be an early step in the American pattern but a relatively intimate act in the English pattern.[16]

Japanese courtesans had a different form of flirting, emphasizing non-verbal relationships by hiding the lips and showing the eyes, as depicted in much shunga artwork, the most popular print media of the time, up to the late 19th century.

European hand fans[ edit ]

The fan was used extensively in some European societies, particularly England and Spain, from the 16th century onwards as a means of communication and thus as a means of flirtation. An entire sign language was developed using the fan, and even label books and magazines were published. Charles Francis Badini created the Original Fanology, or Ladies’ Conversation Fan, published by William Cock in London in 1797. The use of the fan was not limited to women, as men also wore fans and learned to convey messages with them. For example, placing the fan near the heart meant “I love you,” while opening a fan meant “Wait for me.”[17]

In Spain, where the use of fans (called “abanicos”) is still very popular today, [when?] ladies used them to communicate with suitors or potential suitors without attracting the attention of their families or companions. This usage was very popular in the 19th and early 20th centuries.[18]

Purpose [edit]

A woman flirts with a soldier by tickling him with a feather.

People flirt for different reasons. According to social anthropologist Kate Fox, there are two main types of flirting: flirting just for fun and flirting with a purpose.[19]

In a 2014 review, Henningsen made a further distinction, identifying six main motivations for flirting: sex, relationship development, exploration, fun, self-esteem, and instrumental.[20] Henningsen found that many flirting interactions often involve more than one of these motives. There also appear to be gender differences in flirting motivation.

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Many people flirt as an initiation method for courtship, with the aim of entering into a sexual relationship with another person. In this sense, flirting plays a role in partner choice. The person flirting sends out signals of sexual availability to another and expects interest to return in order to continue flirting. Flirting can include non-verbal signs, such as B. Glance, hand touch and hair touch; or verbal signals such as chatting, flattering remarks, and exchanging phone numbers to initiate further contact.

Many studies have confirmed that sex is a driving motivation for flirting. Furthermore, the study by Messman and colleagues supported this hypothesis; it turned out that the more physically attracted you were to a person, the more likely you were to flirt with them.

Flirting with the aim of signaling interest seems a puzzling phenomenon when you consider that flirting is often done in very subtle ways. In fact, evidence shows that people often get it wrong when interpreting flirtatious behavior.[21] If the main purpose of flirting is to signal interest to the other person, then logically the signaling would be loud and clear. A possible explanation for the ambiguous nature of human flirting lies in the costs associated with courtship signals. According to Gersick and colleagues, signaling interest can be costly because it can disrupt the nature of a relationship.[22] For example, signaling sexual interest to a friend risks introducing insecurity into the friendship, especially if the romantic advance is rejected by the recipient. Because of this, individuals prefer to engage in a more subtle flirting interaction to limit the risks associated with expressing sexual interest.

In general, human relationships are governed by social norms, and whenever these are broken, there can be significant costs that can be social, economic, and even legal. For example, a manager’s flirtation with his subordinate can result in high costs, e.g. B. Being accused of sexual harassment, which can potentially lead to job loss.

In addition, third parties may impose costs on someone who expresses sexual interest.[23] Expressing sexual interest in another person’s romantic partner is a highly criminal offense. This often leads to partner jealousy, which can trigger anger and (possibly) corporal punishment, especially in men.[24] Third parties can also incur costs by eavesdropping. These can lead to reputational damage, which can lead to potential social, economic and legal costs.

A final point to consider is that the costs associated with interest signaling are increased in the case of humans compared to wildlife. In fact, the existence of language means that information can circulate much faster. For example, in the case of eavesdropping, the eavesdropper’s information effort can be spread across very large social networks, driving up social costs.[25]

Other motivations[edit]

Another reason people flirt is to cement or maintain a romantic relationship with their partner. They will engage in flirty behaviors to help their relationship with their partner thrive. People will also flirt with the goal of “exploring.” In this sense, the goal isn’t necessarily to express sexual or romantic interest, but simply to assess whether the other might be interested in you before making a decision about what to expect from that person.

Henningsen and Fox also demonstrated that flirting can sometimes be used just for fun. For example, studies have shown that flirting in the workplace was primarily used for fun purposes.[20]

Another motive that drives flirting is to develop one’s self-esteem. People often feel valued when someone flirts with them. Therefore, people often flirt to encourage reciprocation and thereby increase their self-esteem.

As a final point, people might flirt for instrumental reasons. For example, they flirt to get something out of the other person, such as a drink at a nightclub or a promotion at work.

Gender differences in motivation[edit]

Certain types of flirting seem to be more common among men than women and vice versa.

First of all, the study by Henningsen and colleagues showed that flirting with sexual intent was more common among men. On the other hand, flirting for the purpose of relationship development was used more often by women.[20]

These results are not surprising given parental investment theory. First, it states that women are more selective and men are more competitive, which is why it is predicted that flirting as a courtship introduction will be used more frequently among men. The theory also predicts that women invest more in their offspring, making them more likely to invest in their relationship as it can provide resources that can help their offspring survive. On the other hand, men have no guarantee that their partner’s offspring will be theirs and therefore have less incentive to seek long-term relationships. which explains why men care less about flirting for relationship development.[26]

In addition, Henningsen found that flirting for fun was more common among women than men. A possible explanation for this could be that women engage in what he calls “practice flirting”. Since women are more selective and want to attract the best partner to take care of their offspring, they may flirt for fun to practice and evaluate what flirting behaviors work best.[20]

Examples[edit]

Flirting can consist of stylized gestures, language, body language, postures, and physiological signs that serve as cues to another person. These include, at least in Western society:

The effectiveness of many of these interactions has been analyzed in detail by behavioral psychologists[28] and advice on their use is available from dating coaches.[29]

Cultural variations[edit]

Flirting varies greatly from culture to culture. For example, a very common flirting strategy for many western cultures involves eye contact. However, eye contact can have a very different meaning in some Asian countries, where women could get into trouble if they return a glance at men who are staring at them [citation needed]. Also, Chinese and Japanese women are sometimes not expected to make eye contact as it could be seen as rude and disrespectful.[30]

The flirt of Eugene de Blaas. A study of body language: a flirty man

The distance between two people is also important when flirting. People from the “contact cultures”, such as those in the Mediterranean or Latin America, may feel comfortable close by, while a British or Northern European person will usually need more space. Although touching, particularly of the hand or arm, can be a form of flirting, touching is often performed without the intention of flirting, particularly in contact cultures where it is a natural part of communication.[31]

In Japan, flirting on the street or in public places is known as nanpa.

See also[edit]

Any tips for writing a flirtatious character? Just someone who says flirtatious/racy things to their friends as their sense of humor, but without being shabby or perverted. Sorry if it’s vague but I’m struggling lol. Thanks very much! 🙂

Whoo yeah flirty characters! Okay, firstly I know how hard it is to make it flirty and not kinky, and damn it is hard! You could write it that way, but the reader could take it the other way around, so that’s a very valid question.

My biggest answer to this would be fluff, but since your characters might be meeting each other for the first time, that might be difficult. I have a few ideas:

Don’t use pick-up lines! Unless your character is particularly eye-roll worthy.

Try swapping the roles of the character who is more flirty. For example – guys are stereotypically the flirtatious ones, why not switch if you are in a straight relationship?

Don’t overdo your character’s confidence. They can also have shy and flirtatious characters!

Maybe you have an outsider watching your relationship. It can be handy not just to use the two main characters, but to have a best friend or acquaintance tease a bit!

Try not to make her flirtatious at every available point in the story – Be unpredictable! Crisis? Add a silly comment from one of them.

Actions speak louder than words!

Think about whether your characters yearn for each other or it’s just going in one direction. When person A flirts with person B, how does person B react? Are they confident and flirting back, or are they uncomfortable and won’t back down when Person A gets his way? Are they both flirting non-stop, but neither will give in to the thought of asking the other out, thinking it’s a sign of giving up? Is it almost like a competition in that fact? I’m a fan of stories like this…

Flirting can all depend on age, maturity, and upbringing depending on how your character is portrayed in the story. Don’t feel obligated to make your character polite when flirting just because they grew up in a middle-class household. This could lead to your character being rebellious with little awareness of people’s personal space or what is acceptable. Your flirtation can range from anything small like, “I see you at the train station every morning, where are you going?” “None of your business…” to something quite obvious like, “Can I buy you a drink, pretty?” Yes you can”. Having your characters of similar ages or having mutual friends will ensure they aren’t perceived as shabby. If they have something or someone in common, it will be a lot easier to get the story going than a book with bad pick up lines!

It’s really hard, but just be careful not to overdo it! Sometimes taking action can be better than always using dialogue, like finding the girl who left her phone behind and running after her to return it when he could have and would have stolen it easily. Or maybe it’s his brother’s best friend and they’re watching a movie, he finds her asleep leaning on his shoulder and decides to grab her a blanket? Actions speak louder than words and so on…

Keep at it and you will get it, you can make it. Hope this maybe, somehow, somehow, helped! Good luck, much love from Yasmine xox

Flirt – a smile, a joke, a quick touch that’s so much more than it seems.

It can instantly create a connection between two strangers or escalate a friendship. For some, their insane attraction gives them room choice, while others break out in hives at the thought of conversing with someone of the opposite sex. And let’s not forget the person who leans in a little too quickly and touches a little too much. Instead of luring in a potential partner, the person they’re flirting with runs for the door, concerned that the next step might involve chloroform.

Fact: Flirting is individual. It’s unique. There is no one method that guarantees success, and as writers we need to know our characters well to find a flirting style that feels authentic to the reader and gets the results we need to make our story work.

How a character flirts depends on these things:

Attitude – where the character is plays a role in how they flirt. Humans naturally adapt to their surroundings and will behave differently at a church picnic than at a soccer game. Think about the environment and how it can define boundaries, affect mood, and dictate appropriate behavior.

Confidence Level – A girl or guy who is socially active and used to interacting with the opposite sex will be much more confident than someone who is inexperienced. The way a character sees themselves will also come into play. Someone who is aware of their strengths and assets will have more self-confidence than a person who doubts their self-worth. Always consider your character’s background, personality, and confidence level before deciding how far you want to go in flirting.

Audience – as people observe the exchange, the awareness of potential observers will either increase or decrease the flirting, depending on the parties involved. Is your character flashy or not? Do you have something to prove? Does an audience provide the energy they need to get what they want, or does it throw them out of the game altogether?

Goals – If your character is trying to determine if there is mutual attraction, flirting will be less direct and more timid than when attraction is obvious. When the goal of flirting is to get the emotions pumped to the breaking point, the moves become much more intense and aggressive. Think about what the goal behind flirting is to make sure the level of playfulness matches.

Receptivity – The interest or emotional attachment may not be the same for both parties. If one character’s body language suggests they aren’t as engaged (backward, looking away, fidgeting) as the other is hoping, then the flirting style and intensity must change to maintain a connection.

Flirting is all about body language and knowing how to read it. Here are some flirty moves to get you started!

For him

Smile (is there anything more attractive than a smile?)

Eye contact (not constant or scary, more like a magnet for repeated contact)

come closer

Light and short touches

A slight squeeze of her hand

Runs down a forearm with one knuckle

Puts an arm around her shoulders

Puts a hand on her cross

Controls/leads with light touches, arm pulls, playful nudges

Touches an object she is holding (tugs, taps her notebook with his pencil, etc.)

Notices and verbalizes approval of what she is wearing or how her hair is styled

Offers flattery, compliments

Suggests doing something good together (have a drink, walk in the same direction, find a place to sit, study some time together, get some fresh air, etc.)

Shows sincerity

Jokes, teasing, small talk, banter

is attentive

Agrees with her opinion

Downplays her compliments to him (shows modesty)

Duplicates her to “get caught looking” (but doesn’t stare like she’s meat)

Asks questions

Maintains eye contact a little longer than usual

“Accidental touches” (knocks her leg with his, brushes against her hand, shoulder, etc. while reaching for something)

Mentions something he noticed/remembers about her (something from their past together, something he saw approaching her, etc. This is to show that she remembers her)

Watch her lips

Says things that have double meaning/suggestiveness

For her

Passes by more than once

Turns her head to look at him

Moves closer to him in the room/area

Shakes back hair

Laugh

Uses the eyes and eyelashes to express and communicate

Asks questions about his interests

Gossip to friends, but eyes are on him

Touches lips (lips are sensual) IE: Bite while smiling, wet lips, apply gloss, bring drinking cup/glass to lips with eye contact

Either leave friends alone and offer an opportunity to be approached, or reach out to them directly

Playful touches (fumbling with the zipper, twisting his wrist to pretend to be interested in the time, etc.)

Shows interest or cares about something of theirs (asks about their playlist, asks for their phone, pushes a book out of their hands to look at, etc.)

Plays with her hair during the conversation and draws his attention to it

Lets him know that something he’s saying is new/interesting/unusual/or positive in some way

Agrees with his opinions, thoughts, observations

Vary the timbre of her voice to make him listen (whisper, suggestive tone)

Uses hands to accentuate facial features (a small waist, long hair pulled over one shoulder, toying with the necklace to draw attention to the cleavage, etc.)

Lean or step closer

Puts a hand on his arm

giggles

Asks about his friends, job, talents (if she knows about him)

Ask for his opinion or for help with something

Flowing movements/gestures

Exudes a lot of energy, is fun

Acts shy, coy, or playful by tilting the head, applying side glances, and using different types of smiles

Accepts compliments gracefully

Listens carefully and acts in conversation for cues about his likes, dislikes, interests, beliefs, etc

Touches his knee or arm to emphasize a point or while he is laughing

When wearing a skirt, she puts a hand on her knee or slowly crosses her legs to draw attention to her

Compliments his scent by leaning in with a smile and asking what cologne he’s wearing

Gets “caught” looking at him and enjoying the view

Mirror his movements (when he leans forward, she does the same, etc.)

Points her body towards him (sitting or standing)

So… what are your character’s favorite moves?

Click here for FLIRT BODY LANGUAGE #FAILS!

Angela is a writing coach, international speaker and bestselling author who loves to travel, teach, empower writers and engage. She is also the founder of One Stop For Writers, a portal to powerful, innovative tools to help writers improve their storytelling. authorshelpingwriters.net/

It is sometimes difficult to tell how you feel in unexpected situations like natural disasters, especially when you are sad. Here is a list of common expressions to help you express shock and disbelief.

shock

I was shocked to hear…

The news came as a complete shock.

We are all completely shocked.

Everyone staggers from the shock…

It happened out of the blue.

Who could have predicted that?

I can’t (just) get over it…

We were totally surprised by…

I was just stunned…

unbelief

I just can’t believe…

It’s incredible.

I / you can not imagine …

Words cannot describe… (how I feel about / the terrible devastation etc.)

There’s no way it could have happened.

Saying how bad something is

It’s so terrible.

It’s terrible / What terrible news.

It’s a tragedy.

It’s a disaster (pronounced “ca – tas – tra – fee” with the stress on “-tas”)

That’s the worst thing that could have happened.

The Aftermath

Here are some words and phrases we often use to talk about the immediate or long-term effects of a natural disaster or other sad event.

come to terms with it = accept: “It will take us a few months to come to terms with what happened.”

assess the damage = determine the extent of the damage: “Experts assess the damage to buildings.”

Emergency aid / provide emergency aid: “International organizations provide emergency aid.”

morally support = sympathize with the victims: “We can only give them our moral support.”

learn the lessons = learn from something: “We hope that the government will learn the lessons from the earthquake and spend more money on research.”

to be better prepared: “Monitoring will help us to be better prepared in the future.”

Also see Talking about the news in English for other useful phrases for commenting on news stories.

I have to say, without suspense there is no romance. There is tension in love. The word attraction in physics is a force that pulls objects together. a power. an interest. evoke desire. Being attracted to someone implies a desire or need to be with that person. That is, whenever they are not around that person they desire. THIS is the magic touch to making a romance novel a great novel: showing romantic tension even when they’re not on the scene together

How do we show romantic tensions even when they’re apart?

There shouldn’t be a scene in which the lovers don’t think about the other after getting to know each other. Or if they have not met yet, is there an opening in your life that could be enriched by someone. I prefer not to go to a single page where there is no reference to the character’s need for the relationship.

It follows from what is true of any novel that the main character has a goal. In romance, there’s both an external goal for the character (that’s for another article), but there’s also an inherent need to love and be loved. That is human nature. In romance, it only takes the form of romantic love.

The trick is that every time you mention tension, it has to be different. It can never be the same. Also, as the novel progresses, the tension must increase with frequency and intensity until they temporarily let go of their outer goal in favor of the relationship. There is also the complicated difference between emotional and physical tension.

Each of them deserves their own article, so I’ll go for this one on how to do it when they’re apart. And it should be different every time. Diversity! No repetition. Make it fresh and let each mention flow into the character’s plot and internal dialogue as organically as possible.

Expressing tension or the character’s need for a lover can be expressed in a number of ways. How it’s done is unique to each writer, character, series, and subgenre.

1) dialogue:

This is easy to do in the mundane and obvious way: “Oh my god, I haven’t laid down that long.” Or: “You need a woman in your life.” But when done subtly, it can be very beautiful. People have conversations about their desire or need for a relationship all the time. Expression of dissatisfaction with one’s own life or the desire for change. “How the hell am I going to get through this?” Or, “Having the courage to find someone new would be a start.” The emphasis on need, the person’s longing for change — that’s where the fleshy good comes in tension.

2) Inner thinking

This is the most common. Often a character doesn’t want to admit how badly they experience loneliness or how attracted they are to a person. Leaving it out of the dialogue can make it even stronger. It creates conflict when the character thinks and feels things that are too strong to even express. It also creates a need for an intimate partner in their life with whom they can express these things. Thoughts that care about the person, just wonder about that person, and remind the reader that they are never far from their spirit are essential. Because it’s true. Once you meet someone you’re attracted to at some sort of HEA potential level, it’s nearly impossible to stop thinking about them.

3) Action or plot points

Characters make different choices than normal when attracted to a person. Go out with friends or not, have a drink or two, discover something new or sulk and stay at home. Demonstrate a need for a relationship or growing attachment to a person in every aspect of the character’s life. Once they meet someone they want to fall in love with, their life is never the same.

4) resistance

Tension can be expressed through wanting, but it can also be expressed through resistance. Often times a character will resist the romantic relationship that seems very obvious to the rest of us. This can also come in the form of insecurity or pride. “I do not need him. My life is perfectly fine without him.”

5) Something is missing

My favorite way to show tension in relationships is to show that their personal lives aren’t quite as full as they’d like. Making a character realize that something isn’t the same without the other person being there. Or it feels anticlimactic to pursue your personal goals without having the other person to talk to about it.

6) Make it unique to the character

No two characters will do these things the same way. There are variations in tone, in language, in substance. It changes with her personal interests, her intimate flaws, and her unique story.

I could go on. The variety of ways to express tension is endless.

Don’t do it right away. Otherwise the reader will get bored. But captivate the reader with little drops and suspense drops on every page. That makes for a book that readers can’t get enough of and are dying to bring to the HEA they know is coming.

Robin Lovett is a romance novelist whose first series of dark romances was published by St. Martin’s Press Swerve in the summer of 2017. Her next series is an erotic sci-fi romance with Entangled Publishing. She loves to chat on Twitter at @LovettRomance and can be found with other romance novelists every Sunday night at #RWChat. She is represented by Rachel Brooks of BookEnds Literary Agency.

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What was once a love letter has now become flirtatious text messages for them, what was once a brief face-to-face meeting has now become a Skype or Facetime call.

In this era where technology has taken over and is constantly evolving, so have our methods of communication with our loved ones.

Finding a man to write and deliver or post handwritten love letters is rare at this age, but that doesn’t mean flirting and romance is over.

Sending flirt texts for her is a great way to spice things up in an ongoing relationship or to reignite the flame with your crush.

Knowing how to flirt with a girl has always been one of the keys to successful relationships or dating in general.

However, knowing how to flirt with a girl via text message is a skill that all men must master in this century, especially since much of our communication is done with technology like phones and laptops.

Whether you are a man who is already in a relationship or you are at a stage where you are still wondering how to find a girlfriend, know what to text a girl or how to text her masters should flirt.

Women like to flirt, whether harmlessly or on purpose. It makes them feel valued and wanted, and it can boost their confidence. It also gives them a direct signal that you are interested in being more than just friends and want to pursue them romantically.

67 Best Flirty Texts For Her – How To Flirt Over Text And Win Her Over (Animated Story)

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The 7 best flirty texts

Maybe you’ve been texting her for a few days and now you’re wondering how to improve your game. And based on her reactions, it’s probably becoming increasingly clear that regular texting from you doesn’t definitely show your interest in her.

So here’s the thing, in order to show interest you need to start sending flirtatious messages for her.

This lets her know that you’re interested in being more than just friends and want to pursue her romantically.

This is not the time to be shy or to hide your personality. Now is the time to use your character, humor, and every ounce of personality you possess in messages to signal your intent.

Flirty texts can be romantic, humorous, simple, or a combination of these.

Here are 7 of the best flirting texts for her to use:

1. No matter how awful my day was, if you smile, you just made everything right.

If you’re looking for a way to let her know that whenever she’s around, she’ll lift your spirits, this is it.

2. You are like a twister, you just blow my mind.

This might come off as “cheesy,” but it will make her smile.

3. Could you stop being so beautiful? You drive Me crazy.

Every girl wants to know that they drive someone crazy. Sprinkle in the compliment of how beautiful or pretty she is and it’s a combination she can’t resist.

4. I wonder how my life would have been if I hadn’t met you.

This is a really easy and great way to say how thankful you are to have her in your life.

5. There isn’t a word in the dictionary that could explain your kind of beauty.

If there’s a way to say you’re at a loss for words without actually saying you’re at a loss for words; Here it is.

6. Of all your beautiful curves, your smile is my favorite.

This directly complements her smile but indirectly lets her know that you notice other things about her.

7. Why are you still single?

Indirectly wondering why someone else hasn’t noticed all of her great qualities and followed her.

5 flirty texts for your conversation starters

Starting a conversation with a woman via text message is similar to approaching her in real life. You have to be interesting from the start or you can be sure the conversation will be short.

It’s important that you know great text conversation starters that will engage their interest, grab their attention, and get them responding so a great conversation can start.

Starting the conversation with a flirty message is risky, but it also shows that you’re confident. Women tend to respond well to confidence.

Here are 5 great flirt texts for her conversation starters to use:

8. I try my best to fall asleep but I just can’t stop thinking about you.

If you let her know that you get restless and can’t sleep when she’s on your thoughts, it will make her feel special and wanted.

She will be interested in learning more about how you feel about her.

9. I just saw the new picture you uploaded. Looking hotter than ever I see.

This is a great conversation starter. Women are proud of their pictures. So acknowledging how amazing she looks earns you some extra points.

10. When I see your name on my phone screen I have to grin like an idiot.

Let her know how great it feels to hear from her. It will make her feel wanted because she knows you value and value her time and company.

11. I have so much to do but I keep getting distracted when I think about you.

Acknowledging the fact that you have things to do but she’s the one on your mind will definitely make her smile.

It’s a great way to get things started.

12. I can’t believe what’s happening right now.

This is clearly a vague phrase, but it’s great for piquing curiosity. She’ll definitely want to know what you’re referring to, and you can take it from there.

Follow her by telling her exactly how she makes you feel.

7 Flirty Good Morning Texts

If you want to put a smile on her face at the start of the day, sending her a good morning text message is certainly a good option. Doing it in a flirty way will be even more impressive.

If you text her a flirtatious good morning, she’ll know she’s the first thing you think of when you wake up.

Here are 7 flirty good morning texts for her to use:

13. Ugh I got a problem, I can’t stop thinking about you.

This paints you as frustrated because she’s constantly on your mind.

Every girl wants to know that someone is always thinking of her. It makes them feel needed.

14. How is the most beautiful woman in the world this morning?

So you’ve complimented her before, but now you’re about to take her to a new level.

She’s not just beautiful. Now she is the most beautiful woman in the world.

15. I hope your day is as beautiful as you are.

It’s a well-known fact that compliments are the norm. Wishing her a great day while complimenting her is a great way to make her blush.

16. You were the first thing that came to my mind when I woke up this morning.

The general idea of ​​sending a good morning text is to let her know you’ll be thinking of her when you wake up, but make it clear that she’s the first thing on your mind.

It will feel like a priority in your life and will rule the rest of the day.

17. Just thinking about you brightens my morning.

Let her know that she’s the one responsible for the wonderful mood you’ll be in for the rest of the morning.

18. I wish I would wake up with your smile.

This indicates that you really appreciate her smile and would like to see it often.

19. I bet you look beautiful already.

Here you indicate that it is never too early for her to look beautiful in your eyes.

13 flirty bedtime texts

Whether you’ve been communicating with her throughout the day or not, goodnight texts can go a long way. It can be used to signal that you acknowledge them before going to bed after a long day.

Even if you’ve been talking for a while and it’s getting late, it may indicate that you’re considerate enough to give her a break, so end the conversation and say goodbye to her.

Flirty bedtime texts add a bit of excitement to the conversation or end it on a high note so she looks forward to talking to you again.

Here are 13 great good night texts for her to use:

20. I hate goodnights because it means I’m praising the time you spend without me. What I really want to say is that I can’t wait to see you again.

Let her know that you don’t like her being apart and that you will see her again.

21. I will dream of you if you dream of me. Act?

A dream is a big deal. Knowing that you want to dream about her will make her feel special.

22. I wish you were here so I could hug/kiss you goodnight.

Girls like hugs and kisses from their significant other. Saying that lets her know that you’re willing to give her the affection she needs when you get the chance.

23. You are the last thing on my mind before I go to sleep.

The next best thing to being the first thing you think about when you wake up is this.

24. I wish I was there to hold you instead of just sending you that loving good night.

Desires show that you long for something that you cannot have in that moment.

25. I think about you so much I thought I’d text you to say goodnight.

This is a good way to let her know that the reason for the text is that she will definitely make you smile.

26. My face hurts from all the smiles I did when I thought of YOU. Good night.

This emphasizes how often you smile when she comes to mind.

27. You make me an insomniac!

She keeps you up at night. She will be curious to learn more.

28. I’m trying to fall asleep…can’t stop thinking about you.

Let her know that you can’t fall asleep because she’s on your mind all the time. she will love it

29. If I were there, you would find out what it really means to be cozy under the covers, sweet dreams.

This suggests that if you had the opportunity to be with her in that moment, you would be willing to hold her.

30. I’m still working away, but I wanted to take a break to say goodnight to the prettiest girl of my life.

Lets her know that even though you’re busy, you’re still thinking of her (plus a compliment).

31. Having trouble sleeping because I have to tell you that I miss and love you.

A girl will surely notice someone telling her they are troubled or restless to the point of saying they love and miss her.

32. You are my everything, never forget that. Good night.

A simple way to tell her she’s a priority.

11 flirty love messages for her

Love text messages are typically used by people who have already shown an interest in each other and are either in a relationship or on the way to one.

Love messages for her aren’t necessarily directly filled with the word “love,” but they can be messages showing how grateful you are to your significant other or a reminder of how committed you feel to the relationship.

Flirty love messages are simply love messages with added spice. They add sparks to an already existing flame.

Here are 11 great flirty love messages for her to use:

33. Flirt with you via text is always fun, but it makes it hard for me to lean in and kiss you.

This clearly states your intention to start a romantic relationship with her, and not only on the phone or in conversation, but also physically.

34. Send me a picture so I can send Santa my wish list.

It’s a smart way of saying you value her and that you want her.

35. People around me must think I’m really drunk right now because I’m so high on you.

This is a creative way of saying she’s seductive.

36. I don’t think you understand how important it is for me to hear the sound of your voice every day.

You tell her that she is more important to your life than she knows.

37. I may not be a photographer, but I sure can imagine us together forever.

You say that you want her to be in your future in a simple way.

38. Your hand fits in mine like it was made just for me.

Using something you did together to suggest that you two belong together will always make her smile.

39. I never thought I would like you so much and I never intended to think about you so often.

It’s a good way of saying that she had a bigger impact on your life than you expected.

40. My life is perfect but that’s because I’m with you.

If you credit her for your happiness, she will definitely smile.

41. When words aren’t enough to tell you how amazing you were, remind me to come and kiss you.

It’s a clear way of saying you’re always awesome, and sometimes words aren’t enough to express my gratitude.

42. I feel comfortable being myself when I’m around you.

This lets her know that you trust her enough to open up.

43. You’ve seen me at my best and my worst, but still love me.

A great way to thank her for appreciating her no matter your circumstances.

11 Flirty Texts for Her to Ask a Girl to Text

Knowing how to text a girl on a date is key if you want to be successful at dating, because not every time your first few conversations with a woman are face-to-face.

Girls like exertion, so it’s important to think about how you ask her out — even if it’s via text.

Whether it’s asking her out on a first date, or even if you’ve been seeing each other for a while and just want to make it official, it’s always a good idea to put some effort into asking her out.

She will appreciate your efforts. The more creative and exciting it is, the better.

Here are 11 great flirting texts to ask a girl out:

44. I really like our friendship, but I thought… do you want to make more of it?

This is a clear way of saying that you intend to pursue her romantically.

45. Wish you were here. Next to me.

A simple way of saying you want to be around her.

46. ​​Are you ready to be swept off your feet anytime soon?

If she answers affirmatively, you better have a broom!

47. If I was the last man alive, would you date me?

It’s risky to take things to the extreme to know where you stand, but luck favors the brave.

48. If I take you on a date, which place should I choose?

This is a great way to test the water and understand what their taste is like.

49. Would you let me be your genie in a bottle for one night?

Interesting question that has the potential for an epic follow-up conversation.

50. I was going to ask you out but thought I’d start by texting you.

Indirectly stating your intentions so she knows what to expect.

51. Last night was fun. I can’t wait to see you again.

Giving feedback from your time with her and then letting her know you plan on seeing her again is always a good move.

52. Can you sneak away for a coffee?

Sounds like a spontaneous date. As soon as she is available, she will be ready for it.

53. Any plans tomorrow after work? I might just have a little idea up my sleeve that I’m sure you’d like… a lot.

Pointing out the possibility of a surprise is a great option. Women love surprises.

54. I can’t think of a good reason to go out for a celebratory drink. . . but I’m sure it’s someone’s birthday right now, so let’s toast it.

This is a great and humorous way of saying you’re looking for an excuse to meet up for a drink.

13 Flirty Texts She Can Send After Not Sending Back

Here’s the thing, the majority of people who have conversations over text messages do so while doing another task at the same time. This means there’s a good chance they’ll sometimes take a little longer than usual to respond.

Therefore, we should have an attitude that she may not reply as soon as expected. Or she might even get carried away with her daily routine and even forget to reply!

A lot of guys get angry and ask themselves “She didn’t text back, what did I do wrong?” or “Maybe she doesn’t care about me as much as I thought”.

Sending a message is a great way to remind them that you’re still on the other end of the line.

Additionally, sending a flirtatious text message to remind her can spark some excitement and breathe new life into the conversation.

Here are 13 great flirty messages to send after she doesn’t text back:

55. Would you like to hear a question?

You will definitely get an answer to that. She either wants to be asked a question or she doesn’t, and she will let you know.

Your response to this will determine which direction the conversation takes from here.

56. Do you miss me? Enter “Y” for yes.

Questions are generally a good way to get answers. Giving only one answer option is a great way to move the conversation forward, as she might ask why you didn’t offer another answer option.

57. I like you. What are you going to do about it?

Straightforwardness is always appreciated. This takes it a bit further by not only stating your intentions but also seeking an answer from her.

58. I’m so bored! Fancy an adventure?

Everyone likes a great adventure. That should pique their curiosity. She will want to know what you are up to and will reply.

59. “(insert song) just came on my Spotify radio…thinking of you :)”

It gives her some music to try (in case she doesn’t already know the song). She will then have an idea of ​​how you feel about her and every time she hears the song she will think of you.

60. I can’t believe I tormented you with such a boring conversation. Let’s change that with a smiley.

Throwing herself under the bus might be a good idea if she stops answering.

She might agree that you’re boring, or she might want to reassure you by telling you the reason she’s stopped responding (e.g., she’s been busy at work).

61. Whoa! Already playing hard to get? Aren’t we moving a little too fast, lady? We haven’t even made a date yet!

This is a great way to use sarcastic humor when she stops responding. Humor goes a long way in sparking conversations and she will definitely appreciate it.

62. Stop sending me mixed signals and start sending me memes.

Who doesn’t like a good meme? Memes are great tools for adding humor to conversations.

63. My dog ​​wanted you to know that he misses you.

This works well whether she likes dogs or not. It’s an indirect way of saying you miss her.

Plus, it’s a great way to get her interested, as she’ll want to learn more about your dog and if you have any other pets or animals in your life.

64. I hope you find my willingness to text first attractive.

Here you say you throw my pride out the window because you’re interested in talking to her.

65. Now that I’ve officially texted you I’ll be staring at my phone obsessively waiting for it to beep, so don’t make me wait.

This is a no-fuss and great way to let her know you’re interested in talking and make it clear that you want some of her attention.

66. Would you rather… put your foot in a bear trap or hang out with me this weekend?

You can use one of the classic “would you rather” questions to test how much she likes you or your business.

The idea is to offer an outrageous choice instead of spending time with you.

If she decides to use the bear trap, you know where you stand. Plus, it can open the door for a great conversation no matter which option she chooses.

67. Hello! Stop thinking about me so much!

This will either be seen as cocky and might seem off-putting, or it will make her smile because it’s the truth. Whatever it is, you’re sure to get an answer from her.

How to flirt over text: 3 steps

1. Be natural

Even if sending SMS is done through a virtual platform, always remember that this is just another way of communication.

It’s not a way to try to be someone you’re not or to hide your personality. This way you can let your personality shine even through an inanimate platform.

2. Be mysterious

It’s okay to dodge some details or answers. This is not a license to secrecy, however some things may be hidden or delayed to create intrigue.

Also, promise to reveal some things in person and it can help increase their interest in meeting and spending time with you.

3. Write correctly

Make sure to check your spelling and grammar. Everyone makes mistakes, but there’s nothing worse than sending a flirt message and then realizing you’ve misspelled a few simple words or made unforced mistakes.

Good communication is a big part of flirting, whether it’s via text message or in person.

Also, always remember that each person you interact with is different, so the flirting style used may vary from person to person.

More steps to talk to girls

If you want to learn more about how to talk to girls, check out these other helpful articles:

Finally

Knowing how to flirt with a girl face to face is definitely a great skill to master. Especially when you think about how to find a girlfriend. However, knowing how to flirt with a girl via SMS and send her flirty texts is necessary for this generation as well.

Flirting goes a long way with women. It can be helpful in thinking about what to text a girl you’re interested in, and it can pique her interest in you.

Knowing how to flirt over text isn’t always easy. Am I going to come off cheesy? Will the person I’m texting misinterpret what I mean? Trying to flirt with someone who can’t hear your tone or see your facial expressions can make things difficult. That said, there are plenty of simple solutions that can make flirting over text that much smoother.

Knowing how to flirt over text can be a great way to let someone know they’re on your mind. Connecting with someone new sparks conversation and ideally gets you on the road to an easy first date. And for those who are already in an established relationship, flirty texts can spice things up and reclaim the romance!

But where do you start when it comes to figuring out how to flirt over text? Below we’ve delved into this topic and outlined some examples of flirty his and hers texts that you can try!

How to Flirt Over Text: 6 Things to Consider

Knowing what to say in a flirty text is one thing. But how exactly do you go about it? Creating subtle flirty text is an art. It requires the sender to show confidence and intrigue while avoiding the danger of coming across as too strong.

This might sound a bit daunting, but knowing how to subtly flirt over text is easier than you might think. Below we have compiled some important points that you should consider before you start writing your flirting texts.

1. Be brief

When it comes to knowing how to flirt over text messages, there’s one tip we can’t stress enough: keep it short and sweet. Think of it this way: if someone walked up to you in a bar and talked to you non-stop for 10 minutes to try and approach you, would you be interested? Probably not.

The same goes for a flirty text. It should be concise, engaging and attention-grabbing. The recipient should be able to send back a similarly short and sweet reply that will kickstart the flirting back-and-forth.

2. Try to avoid overdoing it

Flirting over text always involves walking a fine line. Subtlety is key here, so try not to get too carried away when crafting your message. That doesn’t mean you can’t be sure of what you’re saying, but try to avoid overdoing it. The same applies when you receive a flirt text message. Watch out for these subtle signs of flirting to find the perfect match.

3. Ask open-ended, playful questions

When figuring out how to flirt over text, open-ended, playful questions are a good place to start. Whether you come up with some flirty questions to ask a girl or flirty questions to ask the guy you have a crush on, they will help engage the person you’re texting and to show her that you have a genuine interest in her. Again, keep things simple and make the question as engaging as possible to encourage an answer.

4. Make it positive

Positive vibes are key when it comes to flirting over text. It should be optimistic, cheerful and light-hearted. So, when crafting your message, avoid talking about heavy subjects that might spoil the mood.

Along with positivity, compliments are the key component of subtle, flirty text. Whether it’s compliments for a girlfriend or boyfriend, think about the things you like most about your partner. If you’re flirting with someone you’ve only recently connected with, pick something that immediately drew you to them and use that as a starting point for your message.

But remember, compliments only work if they’re sincere. If you try to create something that’s not so real, chances are the person you’re texting will get noticed pretty quickly and the flirtatious vibes will quickly go away.

5. Keep cool

This ties back to our previous point about not overdoing it. A key part of knowing how to flirt over text is resisting the temptation to send multiple messages. It’s understandable, especially if you’re really excited about texting the person. But nothing spoils the mood like sending multiple answered messages in a row.

Try to make sure you’re texting about the same amount as your partner. For example, you probably don’t want to send five texts to each of them. Also, try to avoid texting back once you get a reply. Keep your cool and take your time to come up with the perfect flirty response.

6. Consider their love language

This may not be as relevant if you’re flirting with someone you’ve only recently connected with online. But for those wondering how to flirt with a girlfriend via text message or boyfriend, considering different love languages ​​can be of great help when trying to decide on the right approach.

If you haven’t already, find out your partner’s love language before you compose your flirtatious text. For example, if they resonate more with physical touch, subtly seductive text might be the best way to go.

Flirty texts for him and her: 67 flirty text examples to try

Now that we have the basics of how to flirt over text, you might be wondering what that actually looks like. In short, there is no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to flirting text. What the message looks like depends on your strategy and approach.

To get you started, we’ve compiled 67 flirty text examples below and categorized them into eight different strategies. Whether you’re trying to find some flirty texts for him or creating the perfect flirty texts for her, we’ve got you covered!

Flirty text strategy #1: Ask a cheeky question

Asking a cheeky question is a great way to kickstart any flirty text conversation. Below we’ve selected 11 of our favorite examples to get you started!

1. Do you want to hear a secret?

2. Why are you so cute?

3. Do you miss me? Enter “Y” for Yes.

4. Want to have fun?

5. Do you like it when someone makes the first move?

6. Our first kiss is going to be epic, don’t you think?

7. What would you say if I asked you to come over?

8. Which emoji makes you think of me?

9. Did I tell you that I want to kiss you today? Because I seriously want to kiss you.

10. I like you. What are you going to do about it?

11. Would you like to have this conversation personally?

Flirty text strategy #2: Be bold in showing how much you like her

When contemplating how to flirt with a guy via text message, it’s often a good start to be brave about how much you resemble him. When the guy texts back in a similar way, it can be one of the clearest signs he’s into you. Below we’ve put together some examples of how you can incorporate this approach into your flirting texts.

1. I’m not too keen on the whole “wait three days” thing, so I’m going to text you now.

2. When I see your name on my phone screen I have to grin like an idiot.

3. I don’t have anything interesting to tell you, but I really wanted to talk to you.

4. You are damn good!

5. Everything makes me think of you.

6. You are pretty much my dream man.

7. You never fail to give me butterflies.

8. The more time I spend with you, the more I want to keep spending time with you!

9. Even when I’m with you, I can’t seem to get close enough to you.

10. I’ve dreamed of you even when I’m wide awake.

11. You have been on my mind many times today. And it’s only 8:30.

12. I can’t sleep. i blame you

13. You make my heart happy!

Flirty Text Strategy #3: Talk about the last time you were together

One of the best ways to conjure up a flirty vibe over text is to talk about the time you’ve spent together. Remind them how special the experience you shared was and add some cheeky references to keep things fun and flirty!

1. Our last date was really fun. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun.

2. It’s impossible to get anything done today because I can’t stop thinking about our night together.

3. You looked really cute last night.

4. I keep thinking about how good you looked the last time we were together.

5. I hope my roommate is gone tonight so we have as good a night as we did last night.

6. I’ve been daydreaming about our day at work all day.

Flirty Texting Strategy #4: Mention when you’re next dating

A big part of knowing how to flirt over text is building anticipation. Talking about the next time you and your partner are together is a great way to create engaging and memorable flirting text. Check out some of our examples below!

1. I wish you were here next to me right now.

2. What is your week like? any place for me

3. We should probably have another date soon.

4. You’re going to love the outfit I’m going to wear tonight.

5. If you want to make a difference, today would be the perfect time to do so.

Flirty text strategy #5: Use emojis

When it comes to flirting over text, emojis can be a great way to get your intentions across. And yes, there’s a lot more to it than just the eggplant and peach! Check out our emoji based flirt text examples below.

1. [burger emoji], [pizza emoji] or [taco emoji] tonight?

2. Surprise! I got you flowers: [bouquet emoji]

3. I’m coming home from work this morning… [eyeballs emoji]

4. [office building] arrow] [beer clink]

5. I had a really great time last night. [do not see evil monkey face emoji]

6. Me when I get a text from you: [heart eyes]

7. You are [Honey Pot] with a side of [Flame].

Flirty Text Strategy #6: Make plans

Often the best flirting texts come from taking the lead. Making plans with your partner over a naughty message is a great way to achieve this and build tension between the two of you. Side note: This approach can work especially well when your partner’s love language is quality time!

1. Do you have any plans for this weekend? Because I don’t. let’s make some

2. This is me asking you out. Do you want to drink coffee on Saturday?

3. Let’s go for a drink tomorrow after work.

4. Any lunch plans for today? Thought I could stop by and we could have dinner together!

5. I crave sushi. We should get something for dinner this week.

6. I wanted to see [insert movie name here]. Do you want to see it together?

7. Let’s go on an adventure together. Want to try a new hike this weekend?

Flirty Text Strategy #7: When you’re ready, get a little cheeky

To really know how to flirt over text, you also need to consider getting a bit of PG-13. As long as you and your partner have the same vibes, subtle and alluring messages for him or her are a great way to spice things up. Check out our list below for inspiration…

1. I’m not wearing any underwear right now. Just say.

2. I can’t wait to be alone with you again.

3. If you send me a sexy selfie, I might send one back.

4. If you kiss my neck, I will do whatever you say. Knowledge is power, so use it wisely.

5. I just wanted to let you know that I just got out of the shower.

6. I had a dream that we were sexting. It was so good that I woke up and decided to make it a reality.

7. This text entitles you to a kiss on the body part of your choice. Choose wise…

8. My thoughts of you today are particularly R-rated.

9. I just think of all the things we could do if we were with me right now.

10. I can’t wait to be by your side again. Or on top if you prefer.

11. I’m sooo hungry right now…the thing is…I don’t want to eat anything.

Flirty Text Strategy #8: Speak Your Mind

If you’re struggling to figure out how to flirt over text messages, a good way to start is by saying what’s on your mind. Being honest and transparent can be romantic – and really sexy! So if you find the idea of ​​flirting over text a bit difficult, check out these seven examples below to get you started.

1. This song I just heard really reminds me of you.

2. I was talking about you the other day.

3. I’m using my last 2% battery to text you thinking of you.

4. You look so good right now. I can’t actually see you, but I suppose you look good because you always do.

5. Hello! Stop thinking about me so much!

6. I had a nice dream about you last night.

7. Everything about you makes me smile.

Flirt via SMS: Practice makes perfect!

When it comes to knowing how to flirt over text, practice is everything. Use this guide as a starting point and try out our flirty text examples word for word or use them as inspiration for your own cheeky jokes!

Whether you’re in an exclusive relationship or have only been chatting for a few weeks, experiment with a few different approaches to see what sparks the best vibes between the two of you. Relax, have fun and get ready to take your flirtatious texting game to the next level!

Here’s your totally relaxed, no embarrassment, easy-to-learn guide to flirting.

1. Like their Instagrams and check out their Snapchats. Likening a photo doesn’t really prove anything, but if you consistently double-tap most of their Instagrams (read: not every single one), they’ll get the hint sooner or later.

2. Make eye contact. You don’t have to get into a creepy staring contest, but looking your crush in the eye when you’re talking is a subtle way of showing your confident side.

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3. Let your emojis do the talking. Imagine a kissable face strategically placed, less 10 zillion heart eyes.

4. Wave and say hello as they pass. Shy girls, this train is for you! One second of standing out there and you’re done. You will get the message.

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5. Invite your crush to hang out as part of a group. If you’re hosting a party, study group, or movie night, invite your crush. The group setting is a lot less pressure than a one-on-one date, but the fact that you even thought about including your crush lets her know you’re thinking about her.

6. Say something simple and then continue the conversation. You, um, totally “forgot” to write down your English homework, so you send your crush a casual Facebook message. Once you’ve received the homework, continue the conversation – you already have their attention, so why not? The more you two talk, the more you can show your personality (and learn about hers).

7. Remember what they tell you and bring it up later. If you weren’t interested in them, you wouldn’t bother to memorize this detail about their family vacation to the Grand Canyon. So if you bring it up two weeks later, a lightbulb will go on in your crush’s head. Suddenly they’re like, wait, woah, she remembered I told her that! Brilliant.

8. Give them a sincere compliment. Go ahead, make ’em all glow and blush and smile.

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9. Casually touch her arm when you’re talking. This is a classic dating tip for a reason: Even if your crush isn’t great at picking up signals, they’ll definitely appreciate a little physical contact. It’s juuust enough to get their attention.

10. Offer them a frying pan. If you’re at the coffee shop and they comment that your lunch looks good, say, “Would you like some?” You wouldn’t share your fries with just anyone, would you? So it’s a clear signal that you’re into her without looking over the top.

11. Give them something thoughtful. Let’s say her favorite candy bar. You just, um, happened to see it at CVS and knew they would like it. It’s okay to play it out casually, like you happen to have an extra one in your pocket.

12. Tease her. It’s just like your mom told you back in first grade when that bad guy made fun of you — that bad guy secretly liked you. All these years later, the same logic applies. Remember – you want to be playful, not hurtful.

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13. Steal her hat and put it on your head. You’ll look gorgeous, plus you can tell a lot by how your crush reacts: is he smiling and letting you hold him for a while, or is he just looking annoyed and telling you to give him back?

14. Tousle her hair. It’s a goofy, bold, loving move that makes you feel a little touchy without being overpowering. Your crush will definitely get the hint that you think they’re cute, but it’s not like yelling “I LOVE YOU!”, you know?

15. Sit on her lap. It’s a super bold move, but it says it all — “Hi, you’re hot and smart and funny and I have a huge crush on you” — without you saying a word.

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If you want to know how to create lively lively pranks, you’ve come to the right place. Whether you’re writing a novel or creating a screenplay, it’s important to have characters that convey a sense of depth when they speak, and banter is a great way to do that. In this article, we’re going to break down the different ways you can compose great quips while also providing some guides on how to use these skills. We’ll also include and break down some joke examples to give you a feel for how to practice funny jokes in your writing.

One of the hardest scenes to write is a kissing scene, or really any scene that gets hot and intense.

Writers worry about being too obscene (will my mom read this?) or worse, not being vulgar enough (no one wants to be called a prude).

Humans are private creatures when it comes to lust, and illustrating an intimate scene can still make the most experienced writer nervous.

The perfect kissing scene sits right between those two adjectives in the title – steamy and sophisticated – as it’s the balance between shy and rough that can create a beautiful scene.

To create the perfect kissing scene, it’s important to look back at the work of others to see what’s working. I’ll give you two examples and explain why both work.

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Dolphin-Slippery Kissing in Sophie’s Choice

Considered by many to be William Styron’s magnum opus, this story chronicles the friendship between a young Southern writer and a Polish Auschwitz survivor. In this scene, the young writer, affectionately known as Stingo, looks at a painting next to a young Jewish girl named Leslie.

“In the shadows her face was so close to mine I could smell the sweet scent of the sherry she had been drinking and then her tongue was in my mouth. In truth, I had not invited this prodigy of the tongue; Turning, I had only wanted to look at her face, only expecting that the expression of aesthetic delight I might find there would match what I knew was my own. But I didn’t even catch a glimpse of her face, so instant and insistent was that tongue. Plunging into my gaping maw like a writhing sea figure, it overwhelmed my senses as it sought an unreachable terminus near my uvula; it wobbled, it pulsed and made contorted movements across the arch of my mouth: I’m sure it was turned upside down at least once. Dolphin slippery, less wet than deliciously slimy and flavored with amontillado, it had the power to force me against a doorpost or somehow bring me back, where I lolled helplessly, eyes clenched in a tongue trance.”

In this selection, Styron’s masterful description keeps the reader glued to the page for every vertebra of young Leslie’s tongue. So let’s analyze what exactly worked…

Styron uses the element of surprise to initiate this kissing scene. The main character is still describing Ms. Leslie’s smell when she startles him with a kiss. By abruptly starting the kiss mid-sentence, Styron is able to catch his readers off guard. This helps the reader experience the shock of an unexpected kiss.

Another use of Styron’s unpredictable writing style focuses on the metaphors and similes that surprise the reader with their effectiveness.

Who would have guessed that describing a tongue as a “squirming sea shape” trying to wriggle out of the back of the head would actually work? Or that, to follow the nautical theme, Styron would be able to make it sound natural when depicting a tongue as “dolphin slippery”?

Yet these depictions are such colorful, unconventional ways of describing the act of kissing that they actually work, despite their less than arousing sound.

Let’s take a look at another iconic kissing scene.

Star Strruck Kissing in The Great Gatsby

In The Great Gatsby, Fitzgerald’s tale of rich Jay Gatsby’s tragic love affair with the already married Daisy Buchanan, this scene depicts a kiss between the two on a cool moonlit night.

“His heart was beating faster and faster as Daisy’s white face approached his own. He knew that if he kissed that girl and bound his unspeakable visions forever to her ephemeral breath, his spirit would never rage like the Spirit of God again. So he waited and listened a moment longer to the tuning fork that had been struck on a star. Then he kissed her. At the touch of his lips she blossomed like a flower and the incarnation was complete.”

What makes this scene so compelling is the stark and bizarre analogy Fitzgerald uses to describe the moment. A tuning fork hitting a star? This is absolutely unique.

But remember that most of this kissing scene is the anticipation of the kiss. This is what writers tend to forget. They go straight to the physical action, forgetting that literary foreplay is the bulk of the fun.

His figurative language in the second movement makes the process of leaning on that kiss almost metaphysical as the speaker explains how that kiss will act as a therapeutic act to heal any fears that plagued his mind.

With Fitzgerald, a kiss is never just a kiss.

It can be a healing, a revelation, a catastrophe, a transformation.

Kiss & Tell: 7 takeaways from these kisses

So what did we learn from analyzing these two scenes side-by-side?

Metaphors are key. Spend some time describing what is happening in simple language, but don’t be afraid to use weird and unusual metaphors for a kissing scene.

Build maximum tension before the kiss begins. No rush. Only bad writers treat a kissing scene as just the physical action between two pairs of lips. A real kissing scene is the tension between two people before the kiss, the psychology during the kiss, and the reactions afterwards.

Pay attention to the psychology. A kissing scene isn’t just about the physical act of kissing. It’s really about the relationship between these two characters. What do you think? What do they really want (and it’s not always sex. It could be a connection, it could avoid the feeling of loneliness).

Treat the act of kissing as a whole narrative with a beginning, a rising plot, and a climax. There’s the early sexual tension, the physical meeting of lips, and the climax can come either in the character’s thoughts about the kiss or in what they do after they break up (like the flash in Jane’s example eyes below). ).

Let your kissing scene be a revelation. In both Gatsby and the Siddhartha example below, the act of kissing becomes something more: it becomes a kind of revelation, an epiphany. Don’t be afraid that your kissing scene will lead your character to a profound realization.

Think about the experiences of your two characters. Does one enjoy it and the other hate it? Does one think too much and is the other carried away by passion?

Let the kisser be an unreliable narrator In the Lolita example below is an example of a kissing scene where you don’t trust the person describing the kiss. In Humbert Humbert’s version of the kiss, 12-year-old Lolita is the instigator of the kiss. But can we really trust his version of events?

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5 bonus kissing scenes

Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

Before she could withdraw her spirit from its far places, his arms were as secure and hard around her as they were on the dark road to Tara so long ago. She felt the rush of helplessness again, the sinking yielding, the surging tide of warmth that left her limp. And the calm face of Ashley Wilkes was blurred and drowned out. He bent her head back over his arm and kissed her, first gently and then with a rapid gradation of intensity that made her cling to him as the only solid thing in a dizzying, swaying world. His insistent mouth parted her trembling lips, sending wild tremors through her nerves and making her feel sensations she had never known she could feel. And before a dizzy spell spun her around, she knew she was kissing him back.

Siddhartha, by Hermann Hesse

She drew him to her with her eyes, he tilted his face to hers and placed his mouth on her mouth, which was like a freshly split fig. He kissed Kamala for a long time, and Siddhartha was filled with deep astonishment when she taught him how wise she was, how she controlled him, deterred him, lured him back … everyone different from the other, still waiting for him. Taking a deep breath, he stopped and at that moment was amazed like a child at the wealth of knowledge and things worth knowing that opened up before his eyes.

Middlesex, by Jeffrey Eugenides

The rims of Clementine’s eyes were sore. she yawned. She rubbed her nose with the heel of her hand. And then she asked, “Do you want to practice kissing?”

I didn’t know what to answer. I already knew how to kiss, didn’t I? Was there anything else to learn? But while I was pondering these questions, Clementine continued with the lesson. She came around to look at me. She put her arms around my neck with a serious expression.

I don’t have the necessary special effects, but I want you to imagine Clementine’s white face drawing close to mine, her sleepy eyes closing, her medicinally sweet lips curling, and all the other sounds of the world stopped – the rustle of our clothes , her mother counting leg raises below, the plane outside drawing an exclamation mark in the sky—all silent as Clementine’s highly educated eight-year-old lips met mine.

And then, somewhere below, my heart reacts.

Not exactly a hit. Not even a jump. But a kind of murmur, like a frog emerging from a muddy shore. My heart, this amphibian, moves between two elements at this moment: first, excitement; the other fear. I tried to pay attention. I tried to maintain my end of things. But Clementine was way ahead of me. She turned her head from side to side like actresses did in movies. I started to do the same, but out of the corner of her mouth she scolded, “You’re the man.” So I stopped. I stood stiffly with my arms at my sides. Finally, Clementine broke the kiss. She looked at me blankly for a moment, then replied, “Not bad for your first time.”

Lolita, by Vladimir Nabokov

As soon as the car came to a stop, Lolita literally flowed into my arms. Not daring, not daring to let me go – not even daring to let me realize that this (sweet wetness and trembling fire) was the beginning of the unspeakable life I, with the cunning help of fate, I had finally wanted to be – not daring, actually kissing her I touched her hot parting lips with utter devotion, tiny sips, nothing lewd; but she pressed her mouth against mine with an impatient fidgeting so hard that I felt her large front teeth and shared the minty taste of her saliva. I knew, of course, that it was just an innocent game on her part, a bit of chick stupidity along the lines of some fake romance simulacrum, and there (as both the psychotherapist and the rapist will tell you) the limits and the rules of such girly games are fluent, or at least too childishly subtle for the elderly woman to comprehend – I was terrified I would go too far and make her recoil in disgust and terror.

Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte

The rain fell down. He rushed me up the path, through the grounds, and into the house; but we were quite wet before we could cross the threshold. He was taking off my scarf in the hallway and shaking the water out of my loose hair when Mrs. Fairfax came out of her room. I didn’t watch her at first, neither did Mr. Rochester. The lamp was lit. The clock struck twelve.

“Hurry to take off your wet clothes,” he said; “And before you go, good night – good night, my darling!”

He kissed me repeatedly. Looking up as I left his arms, the widow stood pale, grave, and amazed. I just smiled at her and ran upstairs. “An explanation will suffice another time,” I thought. By the time I reached my room, however, I felt a pang at the thought of her misunderstanding, even momentarily, what she had seen. But joy soon crowded out every other feeling; and loud as the wind blew, near and low as the thunder cracked, fierce and frequent as the lightning shone, cataract-like as the rain fell during a two-hour storm, I felt no fear and little awe. Mr. Rochester came to my door three times to ask if I was safe and quiet: and that was comfort, that was strength for all.

Before I left my bed in the morning, little Adele ran in to tell me that the big horse chestnut tree at the end of the orchard had been struck by lightning during the night and half of it had splintered off.

Emotion-driven love scenes can be a powerful part of any story in any genre. And in a romance novel, they’re even more important, because the love scenes can and should affect the arcs of both the characters and their relationship, allowing the reader to understand more deeply what draws these characters together… and also what separates them. How do you achieve this?

Many years ago I drove across the country with my husband and we listened to several audio books on the way. One of them was a spy thriller – a genre we like. There was action. Adventure. An alpha spy doing his super spy thing. And a love interest (or at least a sexual interest).

There was banter. There were sparks. And the aim of the story was for the reader to believe that this hero really cares about this woman.

Why?

Because the bad guys end up killing the woman, which makes the hero go off and “do his spy thing” with even greater intensity. Because he’s mad, right?

Of course he is… but it would have been so much more effective for the story if the sex scene wasn’t a sex scene.

It had to be a love scene.

We needed to feel the connection between these characters, and we didn’t. The hero might as well have slept with a plastic doll, despite all the feelings he seemed to have for her. And that meant the ultimate climax of the book — that urge to avenge her — stayed flat.

I’m not saying all this to discredit the author, but to make a couple of points. First of all, every writer needs to understand what makes a love scene compelling. Not just novelists. Second, Tab A/Slot B sex is boring (and often so bad it’s funny and tweeting).

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Are you ready to learn how to create emotionally driven love scenes? Let’s dive in.

It’s all about the characters in emotionally gripping love scenes

Love scenes are all about the characters…not just the sex.

Serious. When you’re writing a love scene, you have to worry less about the choreography and more about the characters—both inside and outside the bedroom. After all, how can it be an emotional experience for the reader if a) the characters themselves don’t feel those emotions and b) the author doesn’t bring those emotions to the page?

That means making sure there’s a connection between the characters before they even get into the bedroom. And please note that this also applies to bad sex. An attack. An awkward affair with an ex. What matters is what comes before the scene informs the scene.

I recently spoke to New York Times bestselling author Tracy Wolff about this (beware: her latest book, Crave, is due out in April 2020!) and she put it beautifully:

“Writing an emotionally compelling love scene is all about the connection between the characters. Whether it’s a kiss in a young adult novel or a very explicit erotic scene, the reader has to repay emotionally. And that payoff comes only when you’ve stoked the flames between your characters – not just sexual tension, although that’s hugely important, but also the emotional connection between the characters and the high stakes that should separate them.”

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New York Times bestselling author Carly Phillips agrees.

“A compelling love scene, even a one-night stand, needs to have an emotional component to keep a reader interested and invested.”

All of that is well and good, but how do you do it?

Honestly, it’s a lot like acting. Just don’t just play a role; you are everyone

You, the writer, need to find a way to “break” your characters. To get inside their head and convey their unique perspective on the world to your audience, the reader.

Sounds a bit overwhelming, but it’s the best thing about writing. You really need to know your characters to be sure where the story is going – because then the characters make the decisions, not you the puppeteer.

To do this, you’ll want to dig deep and use your own experiences to inform your characters’ decisions and emotions.

Your experiences probably won’t directly align with what your character is going through, but you can find an emotional nugget to build on.

So much sexual tension is awareness, physical and emotional. A slow burn, if you will, with characters noticing and reacting to one another at all levels.

What’s your opinion? Maybe you could think of your first crush in high school? How every little movement meant something, and if it happened to catch your eye across the room, it could make your heart pound wildly for hours.

The best love scenes tap into core emotions so just as much heat is generated before each completion, and when you finally get to the love scene the reader is just as distraught as the characters.

Increasing conflicts to build tension

Phillip’s book Dare Me Tonight illustrates this well. In this book, the heroine is younger than the hero and comes from a dysfunctional family. The man she first sleeps with at twenty-four is in business with the heroine’s brother, so the two must keep their night together a secret.

Notice how the heroine’s emotional state – desire mixed with trepidation at her first time, longing for the hero, frustration at the secret she must keep – all help to keep not only the excitement but the reader’s interest to maintain.

In addition, this scene – as any scene in a book should – drives the story forward. In this case, by aggravating the conflict.

This back and forth between what she wants and what she ultimately can’t have. She wants a hero. The right man. But given the parameters they set, how can this man be the right one?

Abstract:

“She hadn’t been prepared for such an intensity, although she should have been. Everything about Ethan Knight was strong. Tonight had the power to change her world, except, as he had reminded her, it was one night. A Night That Should Never Do She’d ignored the dagger she’d experienced when he’d been banished to his dirty secret and told herself she understood. Sometimes there were reasons for discretion, and there for him to come along with everything at stake at Miami Thunder Stadium, his request made perfect sense. Even if it digged at the pieces of her heart she’d glued together over the years.

Internal monologue vs. external dialogue

Here’s another wonderful illustration from Wolff’s book Ruined, featuring two damaged characters who are almost impossible to trust.

“My body lights up like New Year’s Eve, my fear mingling with his anger, my excitement mingling with his desire. And I know – I know – that there’s no longer any reason to fight it. Because this is ethane. He might have torn my heart to pieces, but he still holds me like I’m the most precious thing in his world.”

These scenes work so well because we already know the characters at this point. Despite this, both authors remind us of the core themes of the heroines. Not because the author tells us so, but because the heroine does.

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But please don’t think I’m saying you can’t write an emotionally compelling love scene in chapter one or as a one night stand five minutes after meeting the characters. Of course you can. But I’m saying you still need to set up these characters so we know what’s at stake for them and why they’re so immersed. We have to look into the characters. Otherwise it’s just choreography.

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As you have probably noticed, in the examples above, the heroine “speaks” to us through her inner monologue. But even the actual conversation can do a lot to elucidate the connection between the characters.

As bestselling author Darcy Burke says:

“I write Regency historical romances and often the heroine has either little or no sexual experience. When they first (and even after) get together, the conversation between them can be both informative and arousing, and it absolutely builds the relationship between the characters.”

Check out this excerpt from Burke’s A Duke Is Never Enough, which shows how dialogue can strengthen relationships and add warmth to the scene.

He kissed her cheek, her chin, her ear. “Tell me how you feel.” “I can’t explain it.” Her words were breathless. “Where you touch me… it’s like you’re starting a fire. The flames are there, but I have to catch them.” He grinned. “Let’s see if I can stir it up.”

Make a connection between characters

So we need the connection… how do we make it?

Good question, and again it comes down to knowing your characters. But there are also some techniques you can use to externally reveal what’s going on inside your characters.

It probably goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway.

You have to start with attraction.

Even in a tale of enemies to lovers there is attraction. Maybe it’s physical. Maybe it was even born out of revenge, but something draws these two people together. We’re talking attraction like in your old high school science class — something in these characters that talks to each other and draws them together.

And these are traits that your characters find attractive at the deepest level. That doesn’t mean drooling over six-pack abs or going ga-ga for women in a tight skirt.

Maybe it’s his smile – it’s delicate and sweet with a hint of amusement. Or the way she looks at everyone so directly without ever batting an eyelid. Maybe they’re in a supermarket and she’s arguing with the clerk. She feels like no one is on her side when this sweaty runner, who she wouldn’t normally have noticed, walks in to solve the mystery, and she sees a goodness at its core. He may be her business enemy, but while he’s the bane of her existence, he’s competent and fierce, and exudes all those qualities. A warrior at its core. Not what she told herself, but you can’t hide from your ultimate desire.

So there will be an awareness at that first meeting, but that awareness will change as the story progresses, just like it changes in any relationship – and you as the writer need to show those changes through the emotional responses and also the physical interactions between the characters.

How you do that? Well, you have to get close enough to the characters to see what they see and feel what they feel. Like I said above, it’s like acting. But here I will tell you about the techniques I have mentioned.

Show a connection between characters

1. Go deep into the character’s mind.

2. Show their reactions – physically and verbally.

3. Physical description – but use sensual words as much as possible (more on that later).

4. Consider the closeness of the characters in terms of their intimacy.

Desmond Morris, author of The Naked Ape, describes these stages of intimacy:

awareness of presence

eye level

verbal

from hand to hand

arm to shoulder

arm to waist

mouth to mouth

hand to the head

hand to body

Etc…

As a general rule, most people internalize these stages and don’t plan these steps when they write because they are in character. But if something feels wrong, go back and see if you skipped or rearranged a step. You may find that following the path increases the intensity of your scene.

5. Use all your senses.

Remember, sensuality comes from your senses. Practical… and linguistic!

See: what they see, what that sight evokes, how they react. Pay attention to the words used to describe it. Not just red lips and tanned skin. But lips that reminded him of strawberries and sun-kissed skin that he imagined had absolutely no tan lines.

: what they see, what this sight evokes, how they react. Pay attention to the words used to describe it. Not just red lips and tanned skin. But lips that reminded him of strawberries and sun-kissed skin that he imagined had absolutely no tan lines. Taste : the food, its skin, etc.

Sounds: music, wind, the melody of voices, of words

Touch: the feeling of his skin touching it (and the reaction!!)

Smell: perfume, food (remember, scents can enhance eroticism)

Here is an example from my novel Release Me that illustrates some of the points above.

This is a few moments after they met; At this point, she has already physically described him to the reader:

He steps back and looks me up and down with slow deliberation (noting his confidence and personality). His inspection seems to take hours when it only has to take seconds. The air between us crackles and I want to walk towards him to close the gap between us again. (Awareness of Presence) But I remain rooted in place. (Reaction, informs her character) He lingers on my lips for a moment before finally lifting his head to meet my gaze and then I move. (eye to eye) I can’t help it. I’m drawn to the power and pressure of the storm building in those damn eyes. (Reaction)

The choice of the place of a romantic scene

Pay attention to the locations of your scenes. Surroundings can inform a budding love scene almost as much as a caress.

For example, the setting can reinforce a theme or character trait. In this excerpt from Wanted, the heroine feels suffocated. She wants to “fly” into the world. She wants to let go. In this scene, the hero finds her looking out of a skyscraper window. At this point there is nothing between them but an intense attraction that they both fight because he promised her uncle that he will stay far away from her. The scene clarifies her attraction and subtly shows how much the hero understands her. And how much she wants to surrender to him. To fly.

Abstract:

“It’s not a weakness to want to let go,” he said. “Wanting the thrill of taking a risk. The pleasure of feeling the rush.” I blinked. “How did you…” “Shhh.” His smile was slow and easy, revealing a rarely seen dimple in his cheek. “You need it. You’ve been locked up all night and gone insane. Locked up in your grief. Come on now. Close your eyes and turn around.” “But I…” That finger rose and pressed gently to my lips. “Don’t argue. Just do it.” Unquestioning obedience isn’t normally my practice, but to my surprise, I’ve complied. I closed my eyes, letting the darkness take over me, and then moved so I was looking at the glass again. If I had opened my eyes I would have seen the night sky spread out far in front of me. Instead, all I saw was Evan, larger than life in my head.

The setting can also be enhanced with contrast (a hot kiss in a stinky alley; a romantic ride on a Ferris wheel on a freezing night when she forgot a sweater). It can even be a catalyst for a character’s reflection.

Creating connection… but also conflict

Have you noticed that there are conflicts in most of the examples?

Conflict between the characters or internal conflict where the character is essentially fighting with himself. That’s because conflict is another key component of a compelling love scene.

Because as long as your story is not over, there is still something that separates these two people.

And it will be revealed through intimacy. Conflict can feed sexual attraction – characters pull apart even as chemistry/attraction pulls them together.

Conflict also allows us to maintain sexual tension even after the characters have made love (or gotten damn close). So unless you write a very sweet romance where the only love scene is the climax of the book, you can continue this tension between the characters even after the lovemaking.

Start with conflicts that separate the characters – in “Release Me” the heroine Nikki is an editor. At first she doesn’t want Damien to see her scars, yet she’s very fond of seduction. So there’s an internal push/pull with her, but ultimately the fact that she’s damaged wins… until it’s not.

Later on, it’s his understanding and acceptance that makes the love scene so much sweeter.

But that’s not the end of the book; not even close… so we need more conflict and the story changes.

Now it’s about Damien’s conflict.

In other words, you can resolve some of the conflict that goes into a love scene… but you then have to bring conflict back into the mix if you want to keep the suspense high and the reader turning the pages – and you do!

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Focusing on the sensuality of your language outside of a sex scene also increases the heat and sexual tension, paving the way for an even more compelling love scene.

Why? Because your book is part of a relationship with your readers. You want to annoy them as much as you want the characters to annoy each other. It’s a bit of a foreplay with the readers before it gets to the actual love scene.

So think about the words you use. Are they impressive? Beautiful words that caress the senses or harsher words that talk about the characters?

As much as possible they should be…but not in a way that makes your prose seem pretentious or closely related to a thesaurus. You don’t want to sound like an overbearing catalog of adjectives. And the way to do THAT is to tie it to the characters.

Joining the pieces in a love scene

I said above that love scenes aren’t just about the choreography between characters. In fact, one of the hottest and most emotionally revealing scenes I’ve written is the character’s first sexual encounter in Release Me… and the hero isn’t even there. He’s on the other end of a phone line while she’s in a limousine. And the scene is not only searing but reveals so much character about the hero and heroine.

And the only reason the scene works is because there was so much back and forth between the hero and heroine in the early chapters of the book.

My limousine example is one of the reasons I can confidently say that Tab A/Slot B choreography ranks very low on the list of what makes a scene emotionally compelling. Ultimately, you want to make sure all the different body parts are where they’re supposed to be and nobody has an extra arm, but before you get there you need to make sure the deeper elements of the love scene are addressed.

Dialogue: How much are these characters willing to share with each other at this point in the story, and how comfortably do they communicate?

How much are these characters willing to share with each other at this point in the story, and how comfortably do they communicate? Internal Reactions: How do they both feel when making love and how does it change their perception of their world and their partner?

How do they both feel when making love and how does it change their perception of their world and their partner? Physical Reactions: These can be more detailed depending on the type of story you’re writing (more detailed = more steam). It’s about showing how comfortable (or not) the characters are with each other and how they respond to their lover’s touch so the reader doesn’t get lost in the enactment.

Writing a love scene: putting it on paper

So we went through the components. How do you actually get that down on paper? That’s a trickier question than it seems. The obvious answer is that you write it, but it’s not quite that simple.

Writing physically or emotionally intense scenes (action scenes, fight scenes, love scenes) can be exhausting.

Working to make the scene as intense and rich as possible can be a lot more tiring than other elements of writing a book.

When I started writing, I had to go straight through and edit everything, from the first word to the very last punctuation mark. Every day I read what came before and edited it. When I finished the book it was pretty much ready to go to my editor.

Well, I still tend to write that way… with one exception. love scenes.

I discovered early in my career that I would end up spending a whole day doing a love scene at the expense of story progression. But now I’m finding that the “push through” process just doesn’t work for me.

What I do instead is yada yada, the sex. For those of you who didn’t see that particular Seinfeld episode, I’ll hit the high notes of the scene and then move on. I’ll add quick notes to the emotional beats and physical choreography myself so I’ll remember what was on my mind when I come back. But I’ll pull through. Very coarse. Very unpolished. Very minimal.

The next day I come back and edit it while layering more as I go. And as I do that, I think about the needs and motivations of the characters. I think about conflicts. I think about the attitude. I think about my choice of words. And yes, I am thinking of choreography. And the scene grows.

And the next day I repeat the process, adding text and cleaning up previous words. And the scene gets even better.

Sometimes I fly through the scene on the second day. But usually it takes several passes. Either way, ultimately the scene is richer for the process. It’s a bit like blocking out a play and then adding the actor’s little nuances and character interpretations.

Then when I type “The End” I have a compelling love scene that is emotionally rich and moves the story forward. Obviously the process isn’t the same for everyone, but if you’re still looking for ways to make your love scenes emotionally richer and more satisfying, I hope you’ve found something useful in this article!

What is chemistry? Well, if you ask my two high school students, chemistry is a really hard subject that mom the writer can’t help them at all with. And according to Dictionary.com, chemistry is the branch of science concerned with identifying the substances that make up matter; the study of their properties and the way they interact, combine and change; and the use of these processes to form new substances, and the complex emotional or psychological interaction between two people.

(Michelle Major: The Meat of History)

Despite my children’s doubts, I have a lot of experience with chemistry – at least as far as creating it on paper. The chemistry between the hero and heroine in romance is at the heart of the story. It’s both that undefinable spark and deep emotional connection that makes readers turn pages instead of turning off the lights and going to bed. Here are three keys to making sure your book is binge-worthy.

Three keys to creating chemistry between characters

1. Get readers’ attention. The love genre gets a bad reputation with clichés like “corset rippers” or “women’s porn”. But the best romance books draw readers into the stories with details that make them care about the hero and heroine. Elements such as strong motivations, actions toward a visible goal, and a journey of transformation help readers identify with and relate to your characters. The reader feels what the characters feel for each other through witty jokes or the uncovering of weaknesses. There might be a moment of surprise that changes the dynamic – a back and forth of answers that give readers glimpses of the hero and heroine they might not already have. Watching them fall in love and at the same time falling in love ourselves is a magical moment.

(5 Tips for Writing Captivating Romance Novels)

2. Tension and Stakes. Will they or won’t they? It’s a timeless question that keeps readers in suspense. Whether it’s in books, movies, or starring fan-favorite TV couples, seeing or reading a love story on the page or screen is an investment. We feel those emotions directly with them, and when a writer ups the ante, the reader goes with them for the ride. Make your characters messy and human. They make mistakes and keep pushing, both with their individual goals and in terms of romance. Motivate them because the more there is to lose, the hotter the chemistry gets and the better the payoff for the reader.

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3. Intimacy at the Essence level. Chemistry is more than a physical connection, although that physical spark can play a huge role in bringing two people together. But it can just as easily push them apart. What if your hero falls in love with his boss? What if the heroine can’t stop the butterflies that flutter over her stomach at the sight of the man who once broke her heart? Find out why your characters are a perfect match for each other and at the same time exactly the wrong choice for what they think they want. Then use that to create intimacy. Not just the mechanics of sex, but how they uncover the vulnerabilities behind their sheltered hearts. When you allow them to connect on that deep level, the reader has the authenticity of it. This is how you create characters that will live on in our hearts beyond “the end”.

Every reader wants to feel something as they delve into the pages of a book. It’s our job to give them that emotional heartbeat. No matter how heatedly you write or whether you add a little mystery or paranormal to your romance, the chemistry between your characters makes the book memorable.

Do you long to write a romantic story? If so, you need to know what makes romance writing different from other types of fiction. This workshop will help you understand the specific factors that make up the specialized world of romantic fiction.

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Today’s guest post is from Editor Jessi Rita Hoffman (@JRHwords).

One of the most difficult scenes to write successfully is the love scene. In your head you may envision a moving, romantic interlude, but on paper you read it like melodrama – or worse. This can spell disaster for your novel, especially when the whole book is built around that scene and it needs to be great to convey the story.

In my work as a book editor and writing coach, I see a lot of limping love scenes. Some of the problems are those of amateur literary writing in general: too much clutter, repetition of details, and inconsistent spatial narrative (e.g. one minute he’s holding her hand and the next minute he’s taking her hand).

Stereotypes are another issue, and they really stand out in a love scene. Lines like “kiss the tears away, taste her salt” or “she was surprised by the sweetness of his kiss” or “I think of you day and night” can spoil a tender moment with their staleness.

Chauvinism is another common problem – along with what I call “slutification”. Lines like “there was still so much pure and innocent about her” may offend female readers, as may exaggerated descriptions of the heroine.

But the biggest flaw I often see in love scenes written by aspiring writers is the flaw of excess. For a love scene to move the reader, it must embody the principle of restraint – in the dialogue, in the description and in the actions of the characters.

A lesson from the Victorians

Have you ever wondered why Victorian novels are so popular? We live in an age of connections and friends with benefits, when romance and sex are about as complicated as taking off your shoes. In contrast, the Victorians lived in an age of restraint, when numerous flirtations, intrigues, courtship, and opposition were part of the mating ritual. There was tension and intensity in old-fashioned courtship, and that’s the stuff of great fiction.

Her writing teacher called this tension “conflict.” Interesting fiction is built on conflict. If a scene has no suspense, it dies on the vine. It puts us to sleep. But a scene where two forces pull in opposite directions fascinates us. We don’t know what will happen or who will win. The tension is taut like a fishing line with a 40 pounder pulling on the end. In a love scene, this means a tension between boy and girl, between felt love and forbidden or impossible expression, between what the characters want and what they can have. Restraint and tension are the order of the day. Make it too easy for your characters, and your love scene will have as much power as a deflated balloon.

One of the best examples I know of of the power of restraint in a love story is Emma Thompson’s film adaptation of Jane Austin’s classic Sense and Sensibility. Eleanor and Edward are so determined to do what’s right, despite the personal cost, that their words are charged with subtext and power every time they meet. The greatest power is in what they don’t say, in what they withhold. In the end, when Edward is free to speak about his love, Eleanor breaks into uncontrollable sobs at his explanation. It’s one of the most touching moments in film history – not because of what’s being said, but because of all the unsaid feelings that the characters and audience carry and build throughout the narrative. When I first saw this scene in a theater, I had to cover my mouth with my hand to keep from bursting into sobs myself. There is nothing accidental, easy, or self-evident about Victorian or Edwardian love. And it’s this intensity, built through restraint, that makes a powerful love story – and the powerful scenes that combine to create it.

The Secrets of Writing with Romantic Restraint

So how does one write a love story or love scene that incorporates the secrets of reticence of Victorian authors while writing about people in modern times? Here is the advice I give my clients.

Find believable reasons why your characters fall in love

Many amateur love stories fail because the writer expects us to automatically understand why two people care about each other. Of course, we know that sexual attraction is part of it, but for a relationship to move us, you have to find believable reasons for the characters’ attraction — something more timeless and tender than mere animal instinct. Think about this before you start writing. The reason for their feelings must be believable and clear. If not, you’re building a flimsy foundation for the love story, and readers will have a “so what?” Attitude towards romance rather than the engaging involvement you seek. Think about your favorite love stories. What makes the two people interested? What restraint do they have to exercise, what problems do they have to overcome on the way to true love?

Give the characters something other than themselves to talk about with each other

One way to avoid the pitfalls of writing corny dialogue is to give your lovers something important to talk about — a problem unrelated to their relationship that they need to resolve. In Sense and Sensibility, this happens when Edward is disenfranchised by his mother. Eleanor is asked by a benefactor to give Edward helpful information, forcing the two – who have been avoiding each other – to talk to each other. The encounter is charged with unforgettable emotions and romantic excitement.

Limit dialogue – the power is in what they do NOT say

In real life, people rarely say exactly what they’re feeling, especially when they’re feeling vulnerable. They can mask emotion, speak insincerely, or bypass what they mean and take a sideways approach. Your story should reflect this human behavior. There should be a lot of hide and seek in love scenes. In the climax scene, the lovers’ true feelings will come out, but even then, the power lies more in what they hold back than what they say. The deepest feelings in life can never be fully expressed in words. Trying to spell it all out detracts from the sacredness—the depth—of the emotion. The principle of “less is more” applies perhaps more to writing love scenes than anywhere else. Hold back on what your lovers say, or risk writing sob dialogue.

Don’t overdo the description

Often new writers are so determined to convey passion in their love scene that they fill it with exaggerated descriptions, usually in the form of too many adjectives and adverbs. Instead of “a slight tremor of nervousness in his voice,” just say “a tremor in his voice.” Instead of “looking into his sincere deep blue eyes filled with unspoken undying love,” just write “looking into his sincere blue eyes filled with unspoken love.” Overdo it with the description and you lose your restraint: the writing starts to sound cheesy. Not only do your characters have to show restraint in dialogue with each other, you as the narrator must also be restrained in your descriptions. Let the meaning of the scene depend on what we know about the characters, their situation and their past, rather than overuse of descriptions. Just as in real life too many words spoil the most important moments, so it is in fiction.

Go cosmic

The best love scenes often contain a cosmic element, adding a sense of connectedness to the universe to the character’s personal experience. In life’s loftiest moments, people often report feeling one with something greater or with all of creation. Think about incorporating that kind of cosmic consciousness into what your character is feeling.

Examples of “going cosmic”: “She felt like they kissed here a long time ago, by this creek”… “He felt the kiss extend beyond their bodies, spinning them around, spinning them into the stars .”

delay the kiss

Romance takes place in the space between attraction and fulfillment. The longer you spread this space out, the more romantic your scene or story will be. Just as real-life sex disappoints without sufficient foreplay, a love scene disappoints when it bangs the characters together without enough romance leading to their union. Give your characters a believable reason to fall in love and slowly build on that long-awaited kiss. Delay fulfillment to deepen it.

The poet John Keats wrote a famous poem about a Greek urn depicting two lovers just before they kiss. Their bliss would never be reached, he said, but their love would endure through the ages, their longing preserved forever in this work of art. This is the spirit of romance. Delay sex. delay the kiss

If you’ve written a love scene that you know won’t work, go back and review it with these points in mind. Experiment to see how it reads when you apply them. If you like the results, incorporate them into your story.

And one last tip: think of novels you have read that contain unforgettable love scenes. Read these passages again. Do you find these principles expressed there? What else do you notice the writer does that makes these scenes a success? Consider and apply what you find in your own writing, and you’ll be well on your way to creating fictional love affairs that deeply touch your readers.