My Best Friend’S Girlfriend Is Jealous Of Me? The 230 Detailed Answer

“Ek ladka aur ek ladki kabhi sirf dost nahi ho sakte!”

-Mohnish Behl, Maine Pyaar Kiya circa 1989

One of Bollywood’s “iconic” (read most testy) dialogues. Also a complete myth.

Although Bhagyashree and Salman Khan end up together in the film (no pity you Mr. Behl), it rarely ends that way in real life.

© Rajshri Productions

Movies have always tried to promote the idea: a lady and a gentleman can never be friends without romance. “Just friends” must end as lovers.

One can’t help but cringe inwardly at the sexism and idiocy it exudes. (That doesn’t stop Bollywood/Hollywood from making film after film on the same subject.)

Nowadays, a girl and a guy can certainly be best friends without having any romantic interest.

Why today? It’s been like that forever!

Haven’t you heard stories about the beautiful friendship between Lord Krishna and Draupadi? The original epitome of friendship regardless of gender: Sakha and Sakhi!

Harry and Hermione: An Iconic Friendship.

Aren’t we all guilty of shedding a few tears over the love Harry and Hermione have for each other?

© Heyday Films/Warner Bros. Pictures

Check out Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman. Even death has not diminished Emma’s love for her dear friend.

Or Taylor Swift and Ryan Reynolds. Alia Bhatt and Ranveer Singh.

Whoever told you that a man and a girl can never be true friends needs to crawl out of the rock they lived under.

As a man, I can attest that one of the best things in life is having a best friend; They inspire you to let go of your rigidity and lead you to new ideas. She is always there for relationship and fashion advice. She makes you a better man.

© Aamir Khan Productions

Just as you have a male best friend, there’s a good chance your girlfriend has a male best friend.

Yes. That dreaded guy who seems to be your nemesis. The guy who seems to hang out with your girlfriend quite often and is her accomplice on many adventures.

the other man The Aman to your Rohit, the Jai Singh Rathore to your Sushant Modi, the Superman to your Batman. i can go on

Sometimes you get jealous of the camaraderie they share or the fact that he knows things about you that you don’t.

©Pinterest

We’ve all seen Ron struggle with the idea of ​​Harry and Hermione, making him do stupid things, say horrible things and basically be an idiot. You don’t want to end up like him, do you?

Here’s how to deal with your girlfriend’s male best friend:

1. The chosen one:

The first thing you should know is that your girlfriend loves YOU.

If she wanted to be with her male BFF, she wouldn’t date you, would she?

Remember, she chose you over everyone else. The fact is, she doesn’t see her boyfriend in a romantic light. Never has and never will. She loves him in a platonic sense, not the way she loves you.

If you think they’ll eventually realize they like them and sail away with them, you’ve watched a lot of cheesy rom-coms or read way too much romantic fiction.

2. Try to empathize:

You choose your friends, not their gender. Friendship is so much more than being a man, woman or queer. It embraces love.

Just like your best friend has you as a male friend, so does your girlfriend. The relationship you have with your best friend is the same as hers. don’t judge it

© Zucker Brothers Productions/TriStar Pictures

We tend not to look at the obvious.

What if your girlfriend questions your relationship with your girlfriend? Aren’t you also a boy’s best friend?

What we expect of others is also expected of us. Expectation is not a one-way street; you cannot want something and give nothing in return.

© Heyday Films/Warner Bros. Pictures

We only look at things from our own, egotistical perspective, not the big picture. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes and you realize how narcissistic one can be.

Even if you don’t have a best friend, think about the situation from the other man’s perspective. Is it really good for you to judge him?

What about your best friend’s boyfriend? Maybe he thinks about you the same way. how would you like it Gives you a different perspective on the whole thing now, doesn’t it?

See we just care and how it feels when it happens to us.

3. Meet Her:

Often we tend to have a preconceived notion of a person we don’t know.

In that case, if you haven’t met your girlfriend’s BFF, meet her.

It’s all in your head; we tend to exaggerate things, inflate them out of proportion, especially when we haven’t tried or experienced them.

© Dharma Productions/Yash Raj Films

Don’t be too harsh or hasty in judging. Get to know him before you judge him.

Instead of getting paranoid and obsessing over the fact that there’s another guy your girlfriend loves (in a whole different way), just meet him and you’re done.

You never know, maybe you will become her best friend after meeting her. At least give the guy a chance.

It’s only cause for concern if your girlfriend won’t let you meet.

4. Jealousy:

It’s common to feel jealous of someone your partner seems to love. Somewhere you feel that their love will be shared and will not be enough for you.

Maybe you are jealous of the time they spend together. Or how easily they seem to talk to each other. How they don’t seem to have any inhibitions when talking or how they complain about someone.

The reason is simple: they crave that intimacy. That makes you more jealous than the guy. But in our eyes, the culprit is the guy, not our feelings.

© Zucker Brothers Productions/TriStar Pictures

Jealousy is a normal emotion. It’s okay to be jealous of your girlfriend’s male sidekick, a little helpful too. A little competition is okay, it keeps you focused on your relationship and pushes you harder.

There’s a chance he’s better looking than you. Don’t let that affect you. You may be thinking, “Why did she choose me when she has a prettier option, a better guy?”

Love doesn’t work like that. We can’t choose the people we fall in love with.

Also, don’t underestimate your worth, you are way better than you think you are. Especially in the eyes of a person who loves you.

5. Livelihood:

Spoilers: they will be in your girlfriend’s life. In fact, their friendship could go back a long way, it could even last longer than your relationship. You just can’t expect them to leave them high and dry for you.

The best thing you can do is try to get along with them.

You both love the same person in different ways, it’s the common thread that you need to connect.

Both of you are there to stand up for her when the need arises. That’s what friends are for.

Meet them, go have a drink with them.

Before you know it, your girlfriend is about to experience some confusion with the bromance you both seem to be having.

Plus, you don’t have to go far to rant about your girlfriend and share it with someone who already understands her.

You might learn a lot about them from them.

6. Coexist:

If you don’t get along, don’t fret.

You don’t have to like everyone. However, it is important to remember that your relationship comes first.

There will be things you don’t like about the guy, that’s okay and your prerogative as a person.

You will not be the best man at your wedding or the lead of your Baarat dance. There’s no need to yell, “This means war!” and cut off their heads.

One thing is certain; you can’t just ignore him.

We are all flawed in some way. Why don’t you look beyond that and try to coexist with this guy?

Think about how you can both enjoy your friend’s company without pulling each other’s hair out.

7. Communicate:

If you feel attacked or vulnerable by your girlfriend’s friend, let her know.

She’s not a mind reader, she can’t know what’s going on in your head.

Don’t chase the idea of ​​having them together, it will only bring you heartbreak.

Tell your girlfriend what bothers you about him and what you want to do about it.

Tell her why you don’t like it when she hangs out with him.

Try to figure out why it bothers you so much.

Tell her you’re uncomfortable if he hangs around with you all the time.

©Pinterest

If you notice your friend’s behavior changing around her, tell her. Try to know their reason.

Actually try to talk to the guy in person. They might have their own problems with you. Try to understand that it’s not always about you.

8. Stop Trading Alpha:

Her love life isn’t “wild, wild west.” You’re not cowboys who can settle scores with gunfights or shooting each other.

Your girlfriend is not a commodity or a prize to be won; stop fighting the other (who you’re not entirely sure is in love with your S.O.)

You cannot and should not control other people’s relationships, no matter how much you love them. Having a significant other does not make them your property, nor does it make you theirs.

Men are competitive by nature, they are territorial. The male psyche is egocentric. They’re trying to build authority.

When another man seems to hurt his ego or tries to be the bigger of the two, that’s when the problems start.

If another man seems to be threatening your love, you must act, but make sure that he is actually doing so.

9. Be reasonable:

“Pyaar dosti hai,” Rahul asserts while twirling a friendship bracelet and trying to impress Tina. What Rahul doesn’t say is “Pyaar sirf dosti nahi hai”.

Love is not limited to friendship; Just because two people are friends doesn’t mean they love each other.

He’s not here to steal them. He will not take her and laugh at your ignorance. Nor is he there to poison her mind against you.

Don’t be the guy who thinks every other guy is in love with his girlfriend.

He’s not in love with her. If he had been, he would have told her. Trust your girlfriend’s loyalty.

Don’t try to make your girlfriend choose between you and him. Don’t be so insecure. If you feel insecure, try to find the reason:

Is it just the guy or do you find other reasons to be suspicious of their friendship?

Or is it just jealousy?

Are you still unsure about your partner?

Security is becoming more and more important in a relationship; If you’re questioning your relationship because a guy shows up, you need to reconsider your stance.

Your relationship should be your first preference here.

You don’t have to argue with the guy just to justify your baseless, speculative ideas.

10. The wrong one:

This is the worst case scenario.

You met the guy. He seems nice, but you get the feeling that he cares about your girlfriend in a different way than a boyfriend. He seems to suffer from the “Nice Guy Syndrome”.

He seems to be trying to impress her and manipulate her into spending time with him. In addition, he tries to hide his feelings under the pretext of friendship.

Then it’s time to confront him about his feelings.

You don’t have to be aggressive, just old talk will do. Ask your friend to accompany you. Let them fix their problems.

Liking someone is not under our control, an attraction is involuntary.

Don’t hate him for it. Just make sure he gets his feelings out of the way. You don’t need to interfere with her friendship, let her think about it.

Love isn’t possible without a few hiccups on the road.

Give the other a chance, a break. He deserves it. Maybe the two of you can tease your girlfriend together and play a prank on her. 😛

Much luck! Just don’t hit him in the face. 😛

It’s normal to be jealous.

Jealousy can be a good thing if it helps you identify what you want, experts say.

If you’re feeling down about your romantic life, experts suggest seeking therapy.

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When your friend tells you about their new relationship, you may be happy for them, but you may also be jealous.

Jealousy is a universal emotion — especially in the age of social media, when everyone is bombarded with images of new relationships, engagements, weddings, and baby announcements.

“I think it’s a pretty common human emotion,” Matt Lundquist, a NYC-based psychotherapist, told Insider.

Given that jealousy is an inevitable part of life, what matters most is how you deal with the feelings associated with it.

Jealousy can inspire a moment of reflection as you realize what you want in life, or it can become toxic when you become obsessed and gossip about a friend’s relationship.

Why are you jealous of a friend’s relationship?

Rachel Sussman, a NYC-based relationship therapist, said there can be a number of reasons why you might be jealous of your boyfriend’s relationship.

One reason is that you are single and want to be in a relationship or are unhappy with your own relationship.

You may also be jealous of other couples’ milestones. A friend of yours becomes pregnant while your partner is uncommitted to starting a family. Or you see a friend get engaged and you find yourself at an impasse.

“These are reasons people get jealous, usually when they think someone has something they want,” Sussman said.

Lundquist said you might also be jealous because you’re worried about losing your boyfriend or worried that your friendship will change.

Here’s what you can do if you’re jealous of a friend’s relationship

Have a conversation with yourself

“By far the most important thing is not to lie to yourself,” Lundquist said. Lundquist suggests that you find out why your boyfriend’s relationship is bothering you.

Sussman said to overcome jealousy by asking yourself questions like: Am I attracted to the wrong people? Why aren’t my relationships working? If I want what my boyfriend has, what’s stopping me from getting it?

Talk to your friend if you’re worried about your friendship

Lundquist said if you’re concerned that your friendship will change because of your new partner, voice your concerns.

“You have to find ways to share those fears with your friend and communicate with your friend,” Lundquist said.

Act if you want to be in a relationship

Sussman said if your jealousy has taught you that you want a relationship like your boyfriend, take action. She suggests trying online dating or hiring a dating coach.

If possible, see a therapist

Lundquist said if you’re jealous of your boyfriend’s relationship because you’re feeling bad about your own romantic life, you see therapy to resolve the issue. Or if you’re attracted to unhealthy relationships, a therapist can help you make healthier dating decisions.

Sussman agreed that a therapist could help, but most importantly, “Find out what the problem is and find a solution.”

“Is it normal to be jealous of my boyfriend’s relationships with other people? My best friend has another best friend that she spends more time with and I worry that she likes her more than me. Should I talk to her about it or do I have to get through this on my own?”

Jealousy is a normal emotion you experience when someone (or something) feels like it could come between you and someone you care about. Feeling insecure or threatened can lead to jealousy even among friends.[1][2] Because jealousy is an intense emotion, it can be difficult to overcome and can lead people to say or do things that damage their friendship.

In this article, you’ll learn more about jealousy in friendships, when and why it occurs, and how to overcome it.

10 ways to overcome jealousy in a friendship

Experiencing jealousy in a friendship is normal, especially in close friendships that you really care about. What you do when jealous thoughts and feelings arise can determine how intense your jealousy is, how long it lasts, and the damage it does to your friendship. Below are 10 tips on how to deal with jealousy and prevent it from getting between you and your boyfriend.

1. Accept your jealous thoughts and feelings

Trying to stop, change, or suppress a negative thought or feeling doesn’t usually work. These efforts can leave you feeling frustrated, exhausted, and sometimes even more emotional. Blaming yourself for being jealous can also make things worse by throwing shame, guilt, and anger into the mix.

Research shows that being willing to accept and experience difficult emotions, such as anger, jealousy, or sadness, is the best way to overcome them. People who accept negative emotions describe being able to process them more quickly and are less likely to make bad decisions when upset.[7][8] The next time you feel jealous, remind yourself that those feelings are normal, valid, and okay, rather than fighting them.

2. Don’t feed the jealous feeling

Rumination is one of the bad habits that increases jealousy and can also make you more likely to do or say something you regret.[7] Repeating and focusing on angry, jealous, negative thoughts is one of the main ways you can make your jealousy worse. Thoughts like these feed negative emotions and make them bigger, stronger, and more enduring.[8]

Some of the thoughts that can lead to jealousy are:

Compare between you and your friend

Ponder your insecurities, mistakes, or shortcomings

Suppose a friend likes someone else more than you

Play out fights or arguments with a friend in your mind

Being overly critical of someone your friend likes

When these types of thoughts arise, shift your attention back to something else by focusing on your body, your surroundings, or using your 5 senses to become more present. These simple mindfulness skills can break the rumination cycle and help you calm down faster.[7]

3. Identify your underlying fears and insecurities

Jealousy is usually associated with fears and insecurities you have about yourself or your friendship. By identifying these, you can better understand your jealousy, where it’s coming from, and why it’s appearing in this situation.

Some examples of common underlying issues that can cause jealousy include:

Fear of being replaced

fear of being abandoned

Fear of being betrayed or hurt

Uncertainty about the strength of your friendship

Feeling unworthy, unlovable, or less than

Not feeling valued or prioritized by a friend

Concerns about loss of trust or closeness

Often these insecurities have more to do with how you think and feel about yourself or your friendship than what your friend thinks. In some cases, your fears relate more to past betrayals in other relationships than to your current friendship. When jealousy stems from past issues or personal insecurities, it may be necessary to boost your self-esteem or deal with your own insecurities to overcome those feelings.

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4. Separate real and imaginary threats

Sometimes jealousy arises in response to real threats. In other cases, the threat is imaginary. Real threats can indicate a trust issue or conflict in your friendship and may need to be addressed openly and resolved with your friend. Imaginary threats tend to reflect personal issues and insecurities and should often be worked through on your own.

Questions to consider when assessing whether or not a threat is real include:

How do I feel threatened?

Is this really a threat to me or my friendship?

Do I have evidence that this is a threat?

What role do my own fears and insecurities play?

Would an outsider agree with my assessment?

5. Stabilize your emotions

Acting on jealous thoughts and feelings can lead you to say or do things that damage your friendship.[5][6] You will most likely say or do something hurtful when your feelings are at their strongest and most intense, so learning ways to calm yourself is important.

These strategies can prepare you for a calm, productive conversation with a friend, but they can also be used to overcome your feelings of jealousy on your own:

Breathe in slowly and deeply, and imagine yourself releasing tension as you exhale

Use one or more of your 5 senses to bring your attention to your surroundings

Use a journal or talk to someone you trust to vent your feelings

Take some time and space to let the feelings pass before you call or meet your friend

6. Talk openly with your friend

Open conversations are necessary when there’s a real problem, threat, or issue in a friendship, but it’s important to approach that conversation the right way.

The best way to approach difficult conversations is:

Take the time and space to calm yourself before having the conversation. Wait until the most intense feelings have passed and you feel able to speak calmly.

Think about the main points you want to bring up in the conversation. Think about the specific things you want your friend to know about how you’re feeling.

Identify a “goal” for the conversation that is within your control. Consider the goal of communicating your feelings or needs rather than getting them to agree or apologize.

Use “I” statements to let your friend know how you feel and what you expect from them. Use the template “I felt _______ when you _______ and I would really like it when you ______.”

Be willing to forgive your friend, let go, and move on after the conversation, even if it didn’t go perfectly.

7. Develop a realistic but positive attitude

Jealousy often arises from negative thoughts about yourself, another person, or your friendship. Intentionally focusing on the positive instead of the negative can create a positive emotional shift.[8]

Feelings of anger, fear, and jealousy can often be overcome by focusing on positive thoughts like these:

List your personal strengths, achievements, and talents

Identify the things you admire, respect, and like most about your friend

Finding similarities with other people instead of focusing on differences

Remember good times and happy memories with your boyfriend

Think about times when your friend was there for you when you needed him

8. Be nice to yourself

Research shows that people with self-compassion are less prone to jealousy and also less likely to struggle with anxiety, depression, and insecurities. People who are kind to themselves also have higher levels of self-esteem and tend to have healthier relationships.[8][9]

Self-compassion is something you can learn and practice by making small changes like these:

Become more aware of your feelings, wants and needs and prioritize them

Retreat from negative or self-critical thoughts instead of thinking about them

Make time for self-care, relaxation, and activities you enjoy in your schedule

Get rid of flaws and flaws and remember that all human beings are imperfect

Stand up for yourself and set boundaries when you’re not being respected

9. Focus on self-improvement

If you are jealous of a friend’s success or happiness, it may be an indication that you are unhappy with your own circumstances. If you were truly happy with yourself and your life, it would be easier to be genuinely happy for a friend who is doing well than to be jealous or insecure.

Jealousy can uncover areas of you and your life that need attention and improvement. Focusing on setting goals that improve the way you feel about yourself and your life can boost your self-esteem and make you less prone to jealousy.[9]

10. Strengthen your friendship

Jealousy comes up at times when you feel threatened or worried about being replaced, hurt, or betrayed by a friend. For this reason, if you are particularly afraid of losing someone, you may be particularly jealous. There are many ways to strengthen a friendship, and these often make you feel more secure (and less jealous).

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Here are some ideas on how to strengthen a friendship:[10]

Express out loud how much you care for her and appreciate her friendship

Send a thoughtful card, message, or text to let her know you’re thinking of her

Offer to help them with a project they are working on

Tell them you miss them and suggest ideas for seeing each other more often

Sign up more often and offer support when they’re going through a tough time

Address sensitive, personal, or emotional issues to build trust and closeness

Show interest in things they like and care about

Spend quality time together and do fun things that you both enjoy

jealousy in friendships

Jealousy is an emotional response that occurs when a person believes that a relationship is threatened by an outside person, activity, or situation. Jealousy often involves a mixture of anger at the “rival” or threat, personal insecurity and self-doubt, and fear of being replaced.[1][2] Jealousy can arise when a friendship is actually threatened, but it can also be an irrational response to a perceived threat.

Some of the most common triggers for jealousy in friendships are:[3]

A friend who has other friends or close ties with their partner or family member

A friend starting a new romantic relationship

A new activity, hobby, or job that takes up a lot of your time

Any person who seems to have a lot of influence or importance to a friend

Comparisons between a person and their friend (e.g. how popular/attractive/successful their friend is compared to them)

Jealousy is more likely to occur in close friendships and also in new friendships where trust and closeness are still developing.[4] Unlike many romantic or sexual relationships, friendships are not expected to be exclusive, meaning that it’s okay for friends to have other friends. This can leave people confused, angry, and even embarrassed when they are jealous of a friend.[2]

Destructive reactions to jealousy

Jealousy can be an indication that you genuinely care about someone and value your friendship with them. Still, some of the ways you react to jealous thoughts and feelings can negatively affect you, the other person, and your friendship.

If you allow jealousy to change the way you interact with a friend, it can lead you to say or do things that repel your friend or damage the relationship. Using healthy coping skills and direct communication protects against this harm and can even lead to conversations and actions that strengthen a friendship.[1]

Some common reactions to jealousy that damage trust and closeness in a friendship are:[5][6]

Avoidance: Pushing your friend away, distancing you, or shutting down

Threats: Threaten to end the friendship or do something to hurt your friend

Ultimates: Requiring your friend to choose between you and someone else

Passive aggression: You refuse to talk openly about how you’re feeling, instead expressing it indirectly through your mood or behavior

Denial: Pretending everything is fine, ignoring the problem, not addressing it

Control: Gaining ownership or control over your friend’s other relationships, schedule, or decisions

Manipulation: Blaming or trying to make your friend feel guilty about hanging out with other friends or spending time away from you

Talking bad: Talking bad about other people or activities that are important to your friend

Reversal: Trying to make your friend feel threatened, insecure, or jealous in order to get back at them or make them feel like you do

Final Thoughts

Most people assume that jealousy only occurs in romantic relationships, but it’s also very common in friendships.[1][2] Jealousy usually shows up when a person feels insecure, threatened, or worried about losing a friend. Learning how to manage jealousy and talk openly with friends can help you overcome jealousy and not hurt your friendships.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Here are answers to some of the most common questions about jealousy in friendships and ways to overcome it.

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Is Jealousy Normal in a Friendship?

Jealousy is a normal emotion that people can feel in any close relationship, including friendships. Jealousy is more common in close friendships, new friendships, and in situations where a person feels threatened or unsafe.[1][2]

Why am I so jealous of my friends?

Personal insecurities can make people jealous of their friends. Insecurities about money, your job, your relationship status, or your looks can cause you to become jealous of other people, including friends.[3]

What are the signs of a jealous boyfriend?

Because people deal with jealousy differently, the signs of jealousy are not the same for everyone. Some jealous friends will withdraw or distance themselves from you, while others will become competitive, defensive, or even mean.[5]

Why do I attract jealous friends?

Having a lot of jealous friends can mean you have a lot of insecure friends, since people with low self-esteem are more prone to jealousy.[9] Not setting good boundaries with friends can also lead to unbalanced, codependent relationships where jealousy is more likely.

What causes jealousy among friends?

Insecurity is usually the reason for jealousy. A jealous person may struggle with personal insecurities and low self-esteem, or they may have insecurities in relationships that make them jealous.[1][2][9]

There’s nothing worse than meeting your awesome friend’s new significant other and realizing that you…DO NOT like him or her. But there’s a big difference between thinking Hmmm, definitely not good enough for my BFF and having a legitimate reason not to like the person, so before you panic, think about these.

1. Be honest with yourself.

Ok, so you’re thinking your boyfriend’s mistress is a total jerk, but check yourself – is it really about her? Or is it about you?

While it’s hard to admit, it may be a small case of jealousy in the sense that their relationship is taking up space that used to be reserved for just the two of you. Maybe Thursday night drinks have always been your thing and now it’s her night of Netflix and chilling together and you’re feeling a little left out.

If so, that’s fine. Admit it, and then redirect your gross feelings to focus on what’s actually bugging you, which is wanting to remain a priority for your boyfriend. Reach out to him or her, say you love seeing him happy but you hope to have a 1:1 time to keep in touch because he or she is important to you.

2. Give grace after a first impression.

Yes, first impressions can be a source of truth, but they can also be completely wrong. Case in point: I’m often super shy and quiet when I first meet people because I get nervous and want to say the right thing. (Introverts, do you feel me?) I am fully aware that someone might look at me as snooty for this reason, which is not correct or fair. So again, I’m trying to remind myself that not all first impressions are fair.

This also applies to your boyfriend’s boyfriend or girlfriend. Sometimes people behave strangely when they’re feeling insecure as a new person in a group dynamic: they tell silly jokes, they come off too strong to make a good impression, they sit in silence with a drink in their hand without one time to smile. But for the sake of your friend, give that boy or girl some grace in the beginning. Increase your efforts to make him or her feel welcome and try to see the good.

3. Make peace with small things. . .

One of my best friends dated a guy for five years who was always arguing with her about splitting the bill. Was it annoying to listen to? um, yes Did I think he was an asshole who relied too heavily on her financially? Yes indeed. Have I ever said anything to her? No, because by and large his tightrope tendencies weren’t an all-or-nothing problem.

As the protector of your friend’s heart, you can get angry, roll your eyes, or have an opinion about:

Likes – like his fondness for crumpled band t-shirts or her insistence on expensive whiskey drinks

— like his fondness for crumpled band t-shirts or her insistence on expensive whiskey drinks (your fight)

– even if you’re wondering how the heck these two are supposed to make it when they’re on opposite sides, dude, it’s not your fight) Personality Traits – laughs too loud, tells boring stories, always looks for a good moment to gram, hard to talk

– laughs too loud, tells boring stories, always looks for a good moment to study, has trouble communicating with lifestyle choices – can’t hold a 9-5 against a complete workaholic, for example

BUT: If your boyfriend is happy and the relationship is relatively healthy, cut that shit. It’s likely that you’ll have opinions about most of the people your friends date, meet, or marry. Not all of these opinions will be good, and in time some will even prove correct. But along the way, recognize what’s shallow, what’s insignificant, and what just goes against what you think your boyfriend should want in a person — and then remember that it’s their relationship, not yours.

4. …but address red flags.

Then again, there’s a time and place to talk about your friend’s partner, and sometimes you just have to say something.

Warning signs of an unhealthy relationship

controlling behavior

Massive changes in your friend’s personality (usually for the worse)

The presence of addiction for both parties

Extreme Jealousy

Repeated cheating or disregarding boundaries

Does not endorse his or her activities, interests, or dreams

Emotional, verbal, or physical abuse of any type or level

If any of these are present, talk to your friend right away. You may be tempted to be completely therapeutic with your friend (and I’m not saying that’s necessarily wrong), but be careful how you go about it to avoid angering your friend and making him/her defensive . Bring up the issue once and phrase it in terms of an observation or based on what you’ve been told and see how it goes.

Examples of what to say

“Hey, the other day when John/Jane ________ [insert negative said/done here] you seemed like you were quite upset. It worried me too. Can we talk about this?”

“You know I care about your well-being, don’t you? I want you to be happy with John/Jane, of course, but I’m concerned that if he/she ______ [insert bad action], it will hurt you on more than one level. What do you think?”

“Wow, a comment like that would make me feel awful. Did you tell him/her that’s not okay?”

Then see how the conversation goes. Even if the issue is SO clear to you, your boyfriend will have to manage the relationship on his own timeline, so don’t overdo it with a laundry list of all the reasons they need to break up. Offer your friend support and encourage him/her to make changes. Also, there’s a good chance he/she will switch off, so try to be respectful while emphasizing that you want what’s best for him. And be patient as he/she may take forever to see the light, if at all.

5. Give advice when he/she asks for it.

Raise your hand if unsolicited advice immediately pisses you off. I usually do too. While it’s fantastic advice, part of me doesn’t like being pushed around, especially on a sensitive topic. The same goes for your friend. Wait until he/she asks you what you think of their new love or a specific situation in their relationship before sharing your thoughts. Think about how you would feel if your roles were reversed and resist the temptation to jump straight into, “Oh my god, he/she is the worst, I don’t even know what you see in him/her .” Instead, express your concern, back it up with evidence of things he/she has already told you (right now or before), and position it in a way that you want your friend to be happy and healthy .

Sometimes people literally just want to vent, and other times they want help finding solutions.

Another option is to ask your friend what he/she wants from you before responding with your advice. Sometimes people literally just want to vent, and other times they want help finding solutions. Ask, “What do you want to do here?” and then help him/her to think about the issues and a way to move forward.

And if you really, really hate your friend’s significant other and it’s too hard to shut up, decline. Say you’re uncomfortable talking about him/her and don’t think you’re the best person to be a good listener. Suggest she talks to another friend or family member, or even a counselor or life coach who can take an unbiased approach. (But don’t be a fool by going to a mutual friend’s house to vent your frustration afterwards; it never ends well.)

6. Be honest about how you feel.

Yes, really. Do not lie; Your friend will know. When they say, “So what do you think of him/her?” Don’t jump in with an eager, fake, nice, “He/she’s awesome!” Gently tell the truth or adopt a general stance such as, “Well, I don’t know him/her that well yet, but I fully support you in any healthy relationship that makes you happy.” Or, “I am not sure if you’re right for each other as you’re usually into his/her opposites, but you’re definitely in love, so enlighten me!” Or, like my friend Cassie, break the chase with a, “Girl, I love you, but let me be 100% honest with you for just a minute…”

Remember, at the end of the day, it’s their relationship. No matter how much you love your boyfriend, it’s not your job to “fix” what’s going on.

Of course, if you honestly say how you feel, your boyfriend might be defensive or get angry when he hears what you have to say, but here’s a gentle way to remind him/her that you love him/her, that You want the best for him and you are here whenever they need you. Also, know that your girlfriend probably won’t switch her love life because of you, and hell, she might not do anything about it at all. Detach from the outcomes, as your goal isn’t necessarily to “get her to break up” but to encourage him/her to enter into a partnership that brings out the best in her. Nor is your goal to force him/her into a position of choosing between the two of you.

Remember, at the end of the day, it’s their relationship. No matter how much you love your boyfriend, it’s not your job to “fix” what’s going on. (Again, all of this assumes that the issues at stake are not major red flags of abuse of any kind.)

7. Decide how important the friendship is to you.

During high school and college, I had two best friends from home. We were tough as thieves until one started dating the other’s longtime ex-boyfriend. I remember talking to her about it, and she basically said, “I don’t care, I like him,” and as a result, our friendship slowly disintegrated. I realized that I didn’t care about being friends with someone who would make that choice, and she unashamedly wanted to follow her own heart with no consequences (although they broke up shortly after, like I knew they would Ok, I’ll stop.) Turns out our friendship wasn’t made to last.

You see, people and circumstances change – and not always for the better. If your friend insists on hanging out with assholes but complains about it all the time without changing anything, you may find that you see or talk to them less. Distance can help you stay friends in a way that doesn’t make you scream. Or maybe you were trying to talk to your friend about concerns and your friend shared this with the significant other in question and now he/she is backing out across the board due to bad blood.

You know it’s time to distance yourself when you’re ready to lose friendship. Even if it makes you very, very sad. Because it’s sad, but sometimes necessary.

8. Check what you can and then move on.

Even if your boyfriend’s relationship keeps you up at night, it won’t affect you in the long run. i know hard But people will make mistakes, and experiences in love often teach us the most useful (if painful) lessons. Your boyfriend will inevitably fall in love with someone who doesn’t meet your standards or what you expected them to be.

In addition, you are under no obligation to maintain a relationship with the significant other. After all, you are not with him/her. But you can certainly be pleasant, polite, and grown-up when you’re around him — and then focus on being a good listener, keeping the doors of communication open, and giving your friend loving guidance and support.

What do you do when you don’t like your boyfriend’s significant other? How did the situation develop?

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This is the ultimate how-to of how-tos. We’ve either been there or hope we don’t have to be there, but telling your girlfriend that you don’t like her beau, boyf, bae—whatever she wants to call him—is really fucking hard. It’s like telling someone they have food stuck in their teeth – you have to tell them something is wrong and you’re just trying to help, but it might be insulting… well, it’s like saying tell someone that food is stuck in their teeth their teeth?

Regardless, we’ve found the best, most considerate way to tell your girlfriend that you don’t like her less-than-boyfriend. How could you ask?! Well, you just have to approach the situation in a loving, non-judgmental way.

So, if you think your BFF’s boyfriend isn’t making enough money to have your amazing girlfriend, here’s the best way to tell her that you think she needs to reevaluate and reconsider her relationship.

1) Ask questions. Ask your best friend some open-ended questions just to see what she thinks. Ask about her feelings, how she thinks things are going, funny things they’ve done… By asking her questions about her relationship, you get her thinking about different aspects that she might not have thought of before . Make sure you don’t ask her negatively, just ask openly and curiously.

2) Share! People love to connect with others. So if you share stories about annoying things your boyfriend has done in the past, she might feel more comfortable sharing some less than perfect moments with her. Making herself vulnerable will help her open up!

3) reassurance. Reassure your BFF that you’re there, no. Matter. What. Just say you checked in, wanted to see how things are going and glad you caught up! Don’t put too much pressure on the conversation, just make sure she knows you were happy to hear about her life.

4) Leave it. Leave the conversation the way it ended. You never want to overdo it or just look like you’re fishing for gossip. If you end the conversation where it naturally left off, your friend will know that your conversation was genuine.

5) Wait. If your girlfriend wants to talk more, she will know that you are there for her. Since she knows you have this great friendship, she will talk to you about any issues she is having when she is ready.

6) Tear off the patch. If it’s gotten to the point where you’ve been talking a lot with your girlfriend about it and she just doesn’t realize it on her own, maybe it’s time you tell her yourself that you think she can do better. Make sure to phrase it in an “I’m-just-looking-out-of-you” sort of way and hope for the best!

Just remember that there are sides of relationships that are “secret” – you never really know the connection between two people, so if your girlfriend doesn’t back down, fingers crossed that she’s right!

Be sure to check out these onscreen BFFs who are best friends in real life and perfect gifts for your best friend

[Photo: Shutterstock]

Usually, best friends just get along. They exchange articles, books, films and many, many opinions. And while your values ​​and preferences don’t always exactly align (I mean, how boring would that be?), you know how to discuss your differing viewpoints with animation, kindness, and honesty—and usually a bit of good humor. But sometimes, when a new guy enters the picture and becomes part of their routine, all that matters is a giant question mark. Why him? Of all people! Him?!

“You’re much better at this!” you might want to say to her – no, scream. You think back to the hundreds of conversations you’ve had about romance, love, and men. Together you may even have sketched the ideal man for your personality at one point. Maybe even Pinterest boards were involved, or at least some wine-induced heart-to-heart conversations.

So, after all this, all the talks, is this the guy she thinks is worthy of her time?

When one of my friends started dating this guy, I tried to keep an open mind. Still, I couldn’t help but think she was making a mistake. He wasn’t a bad person, but where she was funny and friendly, he was serious and, quite frankly, a spoilsport. While she worked ambitiously for a bright future, he was content with his impasse. Although she had myriad goals and interests, we realized that she was the most interesting thing in his life.

Recently, my concerns were heightened when we found out they were talking about marriage. I wasn’t the only person who flinched when I heard the news – all of our friends were stunned by this new development.

That is – what is a girl supposed to do?

“It’s always a risk to stick your head out unless a friend brings it up first,” shares Rachel Sussman, a licensed clinical social worker. “You have to remember that as soon as you say something negative about the person he or she might marry [eventually], your friend might still marry that person and it might negatively impact your friendship.”

As Sussman says, “If you feel the relationship is dangerous or abusive, take action. If you feel the person is abusing drugs or alcohol – yes, intervene. If the person is cheating, intervene. If your friend seems unhappy – intervene.”

But if you just have a general feeling of dislike or just a constant “meh” towards your significant other and she seems oddly very happy and giggly about him, there’s no straight answer as to what you should do. But what you can do is look carefully and decide what’s worth addressing. Here are a few things to consider.

Listen: what does she say about him?

Aside from describing that initial romantic attraction – He’s absolutely amazing! I’m on cloud nine! – how does she describe his personality? Does she provide anecdotal stories that actually describe his character? And when she utters blushing admiration, does that go beyond superficial appreciation?

If your general descriptions of him portray an upstanding man who seems dependable, friendly, and willing to communicate and compromise — and you trust your boyfriend enough to make those kinds of assessments — those are all good signs, whether you’re handling it personally or not not him.

However, if her admiration seems superficial and she seems fixated on the wrong qualities or solely focused on how he makes her feel without any objectivity, don’t be afraid to gently address those concerns. While these red flags may be obvious to you, remember that you are not the one to be swept up in the winds of romance — which can cloud all of our judgments.

Watch: How do they relate to each other?

Sure, he might not win points with you, but how well does he fit her? If you’re hanging out with both, pay attention to how they interact. Do they respect each other? Do they laugh and tease? Do they challenge each other, but in a good mood? Does she bring out the best in him and as well?

Although you may not necessarily like his jokes, try to observe how they get along – as objectively as possible. Do they seem like they are generally happy together, or do you notice anything odd or unusual about their relationship? Are you uncomfortable with anything about their interactions?

For example, if you feel like she’s not being herself around him, or if he seems like he’s draining her or making her feel insecure, then by all means take note — and consider telling her. While it might seem like a small thing, if you see it, chances are it’s not a rare occurrence.

Interaction: How does he treat others?

Obviously, men treat women they love very differently than the rest of the world. While that’s definitely a good thing (and an odd red flag when he treats everyone like she does!), pay attention to how he interacts with others—including yourself. While the two of you may not necessarily get along, he respects your thoughts ? Sure, he might disagree with your politics or opinions on heated issues, is he listening to you openly? Do you think he’s at least polite?

If he’s being downright disrespectful to you or anyone else, you should mention it to your girlfriend when you find time to talk, as it could be a sign of how he treats her later after the initial romance has died down.

Rating: Remember that she is not you.

While it may seem obvious, when it comes to those closest to us, it can be really difficult not to project our own feelings onto the relationship. After all, everyone only sees the world from their individual perspective.

If you do decide to talk to your friend, remember to voice your concerns and illustrate why they’re important—but don’t overdo it. The most important thing is to be friendly. I will never forget a friend of mine who vehemently disapproved of a previous relationship (and, in hindsight, rightly so). In a heart-to-heart conversation, she once openly shared her opinion with me – and was factual and friendly. While I didn’t really understand that information at the time, later, when I complained about my relationship with the man, she simply said, “Well, you know my opinion on the matter.”

This was extremely powerful for me – and made me feel like my friend was letting me take control of my own life and not trying to run it for me.

So what do I do with my friend? With concern, some of our friends are planning to visit her in the coming weeks. But before we say anything about the huge, awkward turtle in the room, we’ll let her talk, we’ll ask her exactly what she sees about him, and we’ll hear what she says. If her answers concern us, it is our duty as friends to let her know what we think in the most friendly manner possible.

I realize that this is ultimately her decision. We as friends can only do so much. Doing what’s best for your friend could mean an awkward and possibly even painful conversation. But remember, it could also mean smiling and happy for her, even if her type isn’t your thing.

Photo credit: Xavier Navarro

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You probably don’t think you have a personality that intimidates people. But there are certain circumstances in life when you might notice someone around you acting a little strangely, almost as if they feel threatened.

How a woman responds to intimidation depends not only on the context, but also on the woman herself.

When another woman is intimidated by you, she can either put you on a pedestal and show signs of nervousness, or become more aggressive towards you and believe that offense is the best form of defence.

If you have a sneaking suspicion that someone you know is feeling intimidated by you, here are the clear signs to look out for.

How do you tell if a woman is intimidated by you?

1) She avoids looking at you

When someone is feeling intimidated, we often find the first clue in their body language.

A lack of eye contact says a lot. In fact, you can often tell when someone is intimidated by their eyes alone.

She may find it very difficult to make direct eye contact with you. Instead, their eyes may naturally find the ground or nervously stray from objects in the room. Either way, she will most likely avoid looking at you face to face.

It’s a very primal instinct, because in the animal kingdom direct eye contact can be an aggressive or threatening act that symbolizes social dominance.

For example, dogs perceive direct eye contact as a sign of challenge, and similar behavior has also been observed in bears and primates. In this way, diverting your gaze becomes an act of submission to someone.

Looking away also contributes to a feeling of psychological distance. When you make a woman intimate, she can avoid eye contact to feel shielded from the intensity of the situation.

2) She is calm around you

Does this woman always seem speechless when you’re around? Another strong sign of intimidation is being quieter than normal.

This may mean speaking less overall. One girl admitted in a Reddit discussion that her intimidation usually translates into speechlessness:

“Unfortunately, I’m intimidated by women who are prettier than me. And no, I’m not being caustic or gossipy about her or anything. My anxiety usually manifests itself in not being able to talk to them or feel comfortable around them.”

It can also mean someone close to you audibly softening their voice instead of speaking loudly. Voices change when you’re talking to someone who intimidates you.

That’s why even the pitch of the voice can provide clues as to how someone is feeling—with higher pitches associated with nervousness, fear, and intimidation.

One study found that men and women tend to speak in higher-pitched voices to interviewers they believe have high social status. Apparently using a higher pitched voice could signal that you are not a threat.

3) She doesn’t ask you questions

Asking people questions when we have a conversation is one of those social skills we’ve all learned.

It shows the other person that we are interested in them and are trying to find out more about them. It’s essentially a way of keeping a discussion going. If nobody asks questions, the chat dies down pretty quickly.

Of course, selfish people might not ask questions either, but it can also be a sign of intimidation.

If someone feels insecure or nervous when talking to you, chances are they are actively trying not to prolong the conversation any longer than necessary.

In short, if you scare them, they want out of there as soon as possible, and not asking questions is one way to encourage that.

4) She fidgets nervously

You’ll find that many of the signs of intimidation on this list are physical cues in addition to emotional cues.

Our body language is often far more revealing about our subconscious feelings about a situation than anything we say.

Anxious fidgeting is a habit many people unknowingly engage in to get rid of a buildup of nervous energy.

According to BBC Science Focus Magazine, “Fidgeting occurs because the body has elevated levels of stress hormones, which prime your muscles for sudden exertion. If you don’t have tigers to run from at that moment, all that energy has nowhere to go, and wiggling your leg or biting your nails is a way to partially alleviate this.

If she’s fidgeting, a little flighty, or nervous, it’s a signal that her body is having trouble relaxing around you. This is probably directly because she doesn’t feel comfortable around you.

5) She keeps her physical distance

As a general rule, the closer we let someone into our personal space, the more comfortable we feel around them.

Personal space is the area surrounding a person that they psychologically consider their own. Most people value personal space and are uncomfortable with it being “occupied”.

Unless we feel intimately connected to someone, we don’t like it when that line is crossed. The brain uses personal space to protect us.

According to National Geographic:

“We have firmly anchored this “second skin” in our DNA. The brain calculates a buffer zone around the body that is very flexible. It changes size depending on the context and is largely calculated unconsciously. Its not our fault. It is part of the framework of our social interactions upon which all our social interactions are built. “It has a huge impact on how we react to each other, understand each other and feel about each other.”

The more she withdraws and avoids coming into your space, the less comfortable she is likely to be in your company.

Maybe she avoids getting close enough to touch you, or you notice that she always backs away from you when you’re talking.

6) She is holding back or being passive around you

You just get the impression that she isn’t her authentic self around you.

This can mean that she acts very shy and is never forthcoming in a conversation. She doesn’t seem to be honest with you about certain things. She may avoid giving constructive feedback, especially in a work context.

If you seem to have some sort of position of power over her and she’s feeling intimidated, she may be becoming overly pleasant.

Rather than voicing her opinions or offering her own perspective, thoughts, and ideas on a topic, she is more of a “yes woman” and just goes with whatever you say.

A refusal to give feedback or criticize someone can be a sign of intimidation. For example, they might be afraid of your reaction.

It can be helpful to ask yourself if there is any justification for another’s fears of doing this. Could your own body language, demeanor, or way of speaking come across negatively?

7) She’s paranoid about what you’re thinking

When we’re comfortable with someone, we tend not to seek the worst.

So if she seems to be overly interpreting everything you say (no matter how innocently meant) or thinks you’re trying to get her somehow, that’s one of those signs that someone is being threatened by you.

When we fear being attacked, it’s natural to become more vigilant. But your heightened sense of wakefulness around you may have led to paranoid beliefs that you don’t have your best interests at heart.

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8) She turns her body away from you

Turning away from someone physically is our way of shielding. The threat in this case is not physical, but emotional.

It is an indication that interpersonal contact feels unsafe and undesirable. Turning away from you in conversation, or perhaps in a group, is a sign that she is uncomfortable with your presence.

Turning the body away is like creating a literal escape route. This sign of closed body language is aloof or detached, as highlighted by Forbes:

“When people are busy, they will look straight at you and ‘point’ at you with their torso. However, as soon as they feel uncomfortable, they will turn away – and give you the “cold shoulder”. And if your colleague is feeling defensive, you may see an attempt to protect the torso with a purse, briefcase, laptop, etc.

9) She decided she didn’t like you without even getting to know you.

We are all guilty of making quick decisions about someone without having enough information. But when someone develops an instant dislike for you, it can often be more because of them than you.

The assumptions we make about others usually reflect something more about ourselves than about others.

While it’s reasonable for someone not to particularly like you if you make them obnoxious, rude, or slightly insulting when they first meet you, it’s more suspicious if their apparent dislike for you has little basis.

It could be that certain traits and qualities you have make them feel insecure. Without the confidence to think about what motivates her emotions, she could misinterpret this uneasiness within herself as dislike for you.

10) She seems to avoid or exclude you

What’s the easiest way to avoid feeling intimidated by someone threatening us? It’s likely to try to avoid being around her as much as possible.

Ok, this might not be the most sophisticated or sane way to deal with the discomfort of intimidation, but there’s no denying that it’s the simplest solution.

She may disappear when you’re around or find excuses to leave the conversation or the situation.

She may even exclude you on purpose. If it seems like everyone else you know is on the invite list besides you, this charisma can be conscious.

Maybe ignoring you is more subtle. It may feel like she responds positively when other people are speaking, but when you speak, she seems to ignore you.

Of course, this can also be a sign that someone doesn’t like you, not that you’re intimidating them. But if you pick up other cues from the list as well, she might just give you the cold shoulder because she’s uncomfortable around you.

11) It seems like she is judging or judging you

Whenever a woman looks another woman up and down, she is silently evaluating her.

It’s natural to scrutinize someone and we all do it, some are just more obvious than others.

There are also different ways to do this, and it’s certainly not always negative. However, we can usually sense when this is being done judgmentally rather than curiously.

Have you ever had the impression that someone’s cogs turn when they speak? That they spend most of their time and energy scouting you out instead of listening to you?

If she feels threatened by you, she may try to figure out where she stands, if she can trust you, and how she feels about you.

12) She is constantly trying to find fault with you

As I said in the introduction to this article, everyone reacts differently when they feel threatened by someone else.

How we behave when we feel physically threatened is also often very different from how we behave when we feel emotionally threatened.

Some women, when intimidated, instead of retreating into themselves, try to find subtle ways to calm themselves.

For example, if a girl is intimidated by your looks, she may try to validate herself by trying to find flaws in you.

And how do you know if a girl is jealous of your relationship? She may dismiss his merits or be passive aggressively picky about your relationship or partner.

Aside from being overly critical of you, she may have a hard time acknowledging and giving you credit, even when it’s clear that you did well or that you’re right.

She can crack cutting “jokes” that are a little too close to the bone. When it comes to the mean girl, it’s the age old tale of tearing others down so we can feel better about ourselves.

13) She’s bragging about you

Bragging is usually due to some form of insecurity. If someone feels threatened by certain aspects of you, they may try to enter competitions.

Therefore, bragging is not only a sign of intimidation, but also one of the subtle signs that another woman is jealous of you.

dr Susan Whitbourne, professor emeritus of psychology and neuroscience at the University of Massachusetts, says bragging insecurity typically works in four ways:

She tries to make you insecure because she is projecting her own insecurities onto you.

She tries to showcase her accomplishments to deal with her own feelings of inferiority and to convince herself that she is worth it.

She makes “humble boasts” far too often, but these self-deprecating remarks are actually a subtle way of showing off.

She complains about low standards around her, concluding that her standards are much higher than everyone else’s.

14) She is defensive

When we feel intimidated by someone else, we are on guard. Whenever we’re on the alert, there’s a chance we’ll get defensive.

Defensive behaviors are common responses when people feel personally attacked, even if that perception exists in their minds rather than in reality.

This may result in harsh, unreasonable or unfair behavior towards you. For example, you may find that she suddenly becomes annoyed or angry with you quite randomly.

If you’re having a discussion about something and your opinions differ, you may feel like she’s ignoring or deflecting your point of view.

You may find that she uses certain dismissive terms or phrases to shut you up – “what a bunch of junk” or “you clearly don’t know what you’re talking about”.

Getting defensive always happens when we feel backed into a corner. Your intimidation could create this effect.

15) She tries to persuade you

Superiority is another clear sign of a person’s ingrained insecurity—an insecurity that can arise from intimidation.

No matter what you do, is she always trying to surpass it and go one step further?

As the Stereophonics song says, “If I had a flying giraffe. You would have one in a box with a window.”

Even if she acts like she doesn’t care, the fact that she’s always trying to outshine you suggests otherwise.

If she feels like she can’t hit you, she may try to hit you instead.

Talking negatively about you behind your back or trying to undermine you in any way shows that she sees you as a threat. If she can’t surpass you, she will try to put you down in the eyes of others instead.

You may have heard people describe someone as “green with envy.” This phrase dates back to the ancient Greeks, who believed that jealousy could trigger bile production and turn the skin slightly green, a sign of illness. Jealousy is sometimes referred to as “a green-eyed monster.” It was Shakespeare’s character Iago who first murmured the phrase in Othello. Although many people use the words “jealousy” and “envy” interchangeably, there is a difference between them. What is the difference and how can you tell if it affects you or someone you know? Learn the differences and steps to take when you find yourself in a situation involving jealousy or envy.

What is jealousy and envy? Envy is wanting what someone else has. You might see a neighbor with a new car or a colleague who gets a new job and they want the same thing. You might feel a sense of resentment towards the person for achieving something you want but haven’t achieved yet. Jealousy is more about holding on to something you already have. You may feel jealous in a relationship when you perceive a threat or worry that the relationship is changing for the worse. While these emotions are easy to define and often easy to spot, they can be difficult to control.

A woman in your life whose behavior strikes you as odd or rude can make you feel angry or even disturbed.

To find out the cause of her behavior, you might want to watch her for signs of jealousy in a woman.

She may have decided that you are jeopardizing one of her relationships or her position in life.

When this is the case, their insecurity may prompt vindictive or passive-aggressive behavior.

Why would a girl be jealous of another girl?

Everyone is prone to jealousy when they perceive that a person can take away something or someone important to them. Romantic relationships are a classic example of jealousy between women.

A woman realizes that another woman has caught the attention of her boyfriend. The competition from the other woman makes her jealous and fears that her boyfriend will leave her for a more attractive partner.

Common situations that provoke female jealousy are:

She catches the attention of your romantic partner.

She spends more time with your best friend.

She develops a strong friendship with your sister.

She outperforms you in the workplace.

She beats you in a competition.

A woman doesn’t have to be successful or even want to break up your marriage, take your best friend, or get the promotion instead of you. She just needs to be perceived as capable and likely to do those things.

A girl about to dethrone another woman from an esteemed position or status could be showing overt or covert signs of female jealousy.

15 signs a woman is jealous of another woman

1. Act defensively

Few people will readily admit to being jealous when asked about it.

The jealous woman will deny that she was thinking of the other person or motivated by insecure feelings. She will insist that only innocent reasons motivated her actions or comments made to the other woman.

2. Phone snooping

A jealous woman may not be able to resist snooping on someone’s phone when the opportunity presents itself.

She wants to know if her boyfriend or best friend is communicating with the woman she considers a rival. Her suspicions drive her to violate the privacy of the person whose relationship she is trying to defend.

If you’re trying to figure out how to tell if a girl is being intimidated by another girl, pay close attention to what she says about the other woman’s looks.

Jealousy can make her feel intimidated because she fears she won’t be able to keep up.

As a result, she may try to belittle other people’s opinions of the girl by saying negative things about her appearance. The intense emotions triggered by jealousy can lead to sarcastic or critical remarks about a person’s appearance.

4. Applaud failures

If she is jealous, she will really enjoy it when the other woman makes a mistake or fails in some way.

She’ll be sure to gossip about her unhappiness and strive to undermine how other people see her.

5. Feigning physical or emotional distress

In trying to keep a boyfriend, sister, or girlfriend away from another woman, she may find reasons to keep someone close to her. She can invent reasons like:

“You have to go with me because I get restless in large groups.”

“We can’t go to this party because my stomach hurts.”

“I sprained my ankle and need you to drive me today.”

6. Debt Release

A jealous girl may openly confront the boyfriend’s interest in spending time with the other girl.

She wants that person to feel bad about taking the attention away from them. She will remind her boyfriend that he should value her over others because of all the nice things she does for him.

She may complain to her best friend about being left out, which hurts her feelings.

7. Disparaging success

This is a behavior that is common in the workplace when a woman is jealous of another woman.

She will try to tone down how people view the other woman’s success. She can encourage the idea that her rival has not achieved success through hard work and skill.

Instead, she was only successful because of her good looks, sexual behavior, or appreciation for the work of others. The jealous actions are designed to defend their position in the workplace hierarchy or win a promotion.

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8. Upping their game

How can you tell if a girl is jealous? You will see how she changes some things about herself. Jealousy might inspire a woman to suddenly improve herself, like wearing nicer clothes or getting a new haircut.

She may be taking a dance class, feigning an interest in a hobby, or doing whatever is necessary to improve her ability to compete against the other woman.

9. Exaggerate your success

Jealousy can make her try to win back the limelight from her rival. She will put a fantastic twist on her achievements to make them seem like a lot more than they are.

Suddenly she tells everyone that her boyfriend loves her and buys her nice gifts. Mothers can brag about their children.

Obvious lying can occur even when trying to appear superior to a rival. She can work hard to stage stunning photos for social media.

10. Abruptly changing moods

If there are no other signs of jealousy in a woman, she can instantly become sulky in the presence of the girl who makes her jealous.

Even if she doesn’t say or do anything hostile, or treat a friend suspiciously, she can’t hide the fact that she’s officially in a bad mood the moment the other girl shows up.

She can get angry about something trivial and use that as an excuse to stomp away.

11. Without the woman

When a jealous woman is planning an event or organizing work assignments, she may banish her rival. She won’t invite you to the party at all.

She will give her the thankless tasks at work that limit her ability to win praise.

12. Giving sneaky compliments

She may try to act normal around the woman who makes her jealous, but she still hopes to tone it down a bit.

She may start by saying something nice on the surface and then completely undermine the compliment. “You look great in that dress. Designers are doing such great things with plus size fashion these days.”

13. Expressing open dislike

Not everyone is subtle. Sometimes a jealous woman decides to make it clear that she hates someone. She will say mean things about her rival and try to sabotage her every step.

14. Getting clingy

She can monopolize the time of a romantic partner, sibling, or friend. She wants to get together every day and do things as “just the two of us.”

She remains physically close and maintains frequent telephone contact when she is unable to be present. Her plan boils down to making it impossible for the object of her affection to interact with her rival.

15. Trying to find allies

Some women are very adept at manipulating social forces. A jealous woman might spend her social capital on a campaign to isolate and expel her female rival.

To achieve this, she can persuade other people to share her negative opinions about the other person. She may ask them to exclude her from social or professional functions.

Adaptation to the jealous woman

Learning how to tell when another woman is jealous of you can end your confusion about her bad behavior. Like many people, you might not think that anyone would have any reason to be jealous of you.

The ball isn’t really in your hands in that regard. Jealousy is a natural human reaction when people feel like you can come between them and something they value or want.

Being aware of the jealousy can help you not trigger the person as much. You need to think about whether you’ve crossed a line and should adjust your behavior.

In the future you may need to act with more sensitivity. Of course, if the jealous person is being unreasonable, you deserve to move on with your life as you normally would. Just pay attention to the moves the jealous saboteur might be making in your life.

Sometimes when people enter into a relationship they put on blinders and cannot separate reality from fantasy. Thankfully, most people have friends who can see the relationship clearly and aren’t afraid to speak up when things get toxic. If you know someone in an abusive, unfaithful, or otherwise unhealthy relationship and want to help them discover the truth, there are many subtle and dramatic ways to end the relationship.

Go Heart to Heart If you have a healthy, close relationship with one or both members of the couple, try an honest conversation. Sit down face to face and voice your concerns. To make the information less harsh: use facts, not opinions, like this three times in the last month that she had to stay at your house because she didn’t feel safe with him.

Emphasize the good with the bad to show you have a balanced view of the relationship, and be sure to emphasize more of the bad than the good.

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How long is a long-term relationship? This conversation probably won’t be easy for either of you and might take some time to internalize. Suggest she take an online quiz or look for signs of bad relationships to prove your point after the call. To really show what you’re saying, keep a file of all the messages she’s sent you about the relationship or her social media posts and present the document as evidence. Share your concerns, and then give your friend some time to think about it. If she still doesn’t want to leave the boy, try a different technique or be content with just being her friend despite her bad decisions. If the relationship is bad enough, it will eventually fizzle out on its own.

Uncovering lies Most people have secrets, even if they’re little white lies. Use any means necessary to find out what kind of secrets your boyfriend’s significant other is hiding and reveal them. Scour social media from before their date, ask his drunk friends at a party for embarrassing stories, or search his name online to see what comes up. If you can find a lie, you have a weapon to use. For example, maybe your girlfriend has no interest in ever having children, but her husband has a Pinterest list of baby names. That might be enough to show her that he’s not on the same page and is therefore not a good choice. When snooping around, keep this in mind: Be inconspicuous so your invasion of privacy can’t come back and hurt you later.

Make sure the information you find actually relates to the right person and not someone else with the same name.

Find an anonymous way to get this information into your friend’s hands.

Overdramatize Flaws Everyone has weaknesses and unattractive traits, find out what they are and start bringing them up all the time. If your friend really wants to get married and have children, but her husband is fifty and already has grown children, let her know about it at every opportunity. Find magazines with related articles to leave with her, share stories online about similar situations, and find unique ways to leave one-liners about his downfall every time you’re with your boyfriend. The key here is that his lack has to be the opposite of something she desires in her future. It doesn’t seem like a big deal when she first hears about it, and she’ll probably be able to forget it because she’s not thinking straight. But if you keep reminding her about it, there’s no way she can pretend it’s not a problem.

Present a Better Option If your boyfriend is a nice guy, he won’t see other women as viable options while he’s in a relationship. However, if Ms. Right plops onto his lap, he probably won’t be able to dismiss her without further thought. Whether it’s an ex who’s been talking about missing or a new girl who you know is everything she wants, find a way to make your boyfriend that newer one to introduce better partner. If possible, set up multiple instances where they cross paths, especially if he and his girl don’t get along. Let the new girl know where you’ll be hanging out so she can stop by her friends, or bring her with you if you know you’ll see him. If he sees that there are other girls out there who are interested in him, it might not seem that difficult to move on.

Be a time filler Relationships thrive on the time you spend together, so separate them by literally taking them away from each other. Make yourself super needy and reach out to the person in your couple who is closest to you. Tell them about your real or imagined depressing scenario and express your need for them to support you as much as possible. Call her every day and engage her in long conversations. Ask them to join you on everything from morning workouts to prime-time TV binge sessions. Play the friendship card and make them feel bad for not giving you the attention you need during this difficult time. If it makes sense, address times when you put everything on hold for her. If you’re lucky, all the time your boyfriend spends with you turns into a real nuisance for his partner.

Plan Cheating If you’re bold and cunning, create elaborate setups designed to trap the unwanted partner in situations that look bad for their relationship. This technique requires a lot more planning and time than others and puts you in a riskier position of getting caught. If you’ve exhausted all other attempts or are sure you can stay hidden, try one of these ideas. Create a fake profile on social media and make friends with him. Try to get him involved in an inappropriate secret relationship that you can exploit later.

Use anonymous texting app to send him fake messages from fake lover or ex girlfriend.

Place incriminating evidence on his phone, computer, or in his spaces in their place, like his clothes drawers or desk.

Hire an actor to hit him up in a bar and be prepared to take bad-looking pictures nearby.

Encouraging Jealousy For some people, jealousy can feel like reality when it comes to their romantic partner. Look at what is most important to both people in the relationship, like time together, activities with family members, or frequent phone calls. Once you know what drives her, you’ll know which area to use to fuel jealousy. If he wants nothing more than to spend all his free time with his girlfriend, find ways to monopolize his free time or encourage her to spend more time with her friends. If you’re all out together, encourage other women to hit on him in front of her to make her feel insecure. The key here is finding out what makes both people jealous and using that feeling whenever possible. The more frequently you make one or both people jealous, the more likely they are to perceive these situations as genuine betrayal.

Request Assistance Sometimes you can’t separate a couple on your own. If you feel that the relationship is unhealthy, chances are others do too. Look for allies who might feel the same as you. If your friend is in a bad relationship, maybe her mom, sister, or co-workers know what you know. Engage them in conversations and sneak in comments about your friend’s husband. If they have a similar attitude towards him, ask for their help in implementing a plan to break up the couple. Actions as simple as working together to continually bring up one of his or her weaknesses have a greater impact when they come from multiple sources.

Get Too Close With this technique, you could get too close to your boyfriend or get brave and get too close to his girl. Either way, you need to become a level five appendage and an eyesore. Get invited to everything they do, or stop by regularly unannounced. While you’re with them, start deep conversations about yourself to get them to open up about their inner workings. You either get so annoying to one half of the couple that they break up, or you learn enough personal information to come up with an approach you can use to break them up.

Provide Valuable Resources Some people in codependent, unhealthy relationships may not see how they could move on, literally and figuratively, without their partner. Share resources like job listings, housing listings, help lines like the one for depression, free workout videos or apps, or information on any aspect of life that they find difficult to imagine doing on their own. People in relationships find comfort and a sense of ease in familiarity. Help them see what else is reasonably available if they need help getting back on their feet.

As a neuroscientist, I am fascinated by mental health, consciousness and cognition, and the psychology behind human relationships.

Having trouble cutting someone off? Read on to learn 5 helpful mental tricks to help you remove someone from your life without hurting them. Toa Heftiba | Unsplash

How to cut someone off without being rude

It happens to all of us at some point – we start to drift away from someone who is still very interested in being our friend. Their subtle cues don’t seem to work very well, but you just don’t know how to directly tell them you want to move on. Believe it or not, it is possible to painlessly remove that friend from your life without them even realizing it.

In this article, we cover the following 5 mind tricks that will help you slowly and naturally get rid of that boyfriend you’ve gotten over without hurting them:

Act like you’re embarrassed to accept anything from them. Casually reveal something important that you must have forgotten to tell them. Give extremely general compliments. Really deal with doing things they don’t do

1. Act like you’re embarrassed about accepting anything from them

This is an enormously powerful psychological trick; it will lead someone to conclude that you must not like them without seeing that you are actively trying to turn them off.

What you need to do is slowly stop accepting things that you used to take willingly from your boyfriend. If they’ve been driving you to and from work for months and you suddenly refuse to go, they’ll naturally suspect you’re angry or upset. This tactic needs to be executed subtly and repeatedly to work.

You must slowly start to seem embarrassed and unwilling to accept things from them until you end up accepting less and less. The goal is to covertly lower the intimacy and comfort level in the friendship so they feel like you’re both “naturally drifting.”

Why is this trick so effective?

Friendship is an exchange; It includes transactions involving kind words, support, and even physical things, including food, with both parties happy to share and accept.

Psychologically, every time you pretend to be embarrassed and uncomfortable when your friend offers you very cheap things or small favors, you are acting like you don’t really like them or are uncomfortable with them.

Think about it: you’re acting in this overly polite way to 1) people you just met who you don’t know/like yet, and 2) people you don’t want to bond with. You will hijack your friend’s brain and make him see you as a mere acquaintance because only his acquaintances treat him with such stilted politeness.

It will mimic a natural breakup between two people and the friendship will magically end.

Having direct conversations about why you started disliking someone’s company is very difficult. You may like the person enough to stay acquainted and worry that they may misunderstand the confrontation. More subtle mental methods can help. Photography by Sarah Bahbah

2. Casually reveal something important that you must have forgotten to tell them

This is another sneaky way of hacking someone’s brain, and psychologically it works similar to method 1. It requires some thought: next time something important happens in your life, good or bad, don’t tell that friend .

Let a few weeks pass. Finally, slip into the middle of a conversation with your news and pretend to be completely emotionless and casual, like you’re unaware you didn’t tell them (z see Freddie, remember?”)

When they appear shocked and ask, “What, who is Freddie? You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend,” this is your chance to make them feel unimportant. Look them in the eye in a way that exudes disinterest (although you remain polite, of course) and nonchalantly mumble something along the lines of, “Oh – um, I thought I told you? Well anyway I’m not free but enjoy tonight…”

The trick here is to move on as if you really forgot to tell your friend this news, but that you don’t feel bad about it; Don’t stop explaining your life update or apologize for not telling them as it will defeat what you are trying to achieve. They will come to their own conclusions and assume that you are telling other friends things that you are not telling them.

This revelation can hit your friend like a cold blizzard, forcing them to consciously acknowledge that you don’t really like them. If you sense this happening, don’t fret; they still won’t suspect that you’re planning/trying to turn them off in any way, and their sadness at the loss of friendship shouldn’t turn to resentment.

Do you feel like your boyfriend is romantically interested in you? Is that the last thing you want? Try some gentle and elusive ways to create distance without hurting her. Photography by Sarah Bahbah

3. Make extremely general compliments

You shouldn’t come across as overtly cold, as your friend will think you’re mad at him; The goal is to make them unaware of your desire to cut them off. Would you like your friend to think that friendship comes naturally but you are a nice person trying to make things better? There is no better way to do this than to compliment them every now and then, but in a very impersonal, general, even subtly insulting way.

There are two ways to use compliments to subtly upset someone:

Instead of giving them heartfelt comments that hit them on a personal level and make you seem caring, you want to give them the kind of meaningless compliment someone would give an acquaintance when the social situation calls for it. If you would normally tell them that their top matches their hair color and looks pretty and brimming with enthusiasm, go for this supplement format, but make it generic. Say “cool top – everyone seems to be wearing red this season!”

Alternatively, as I mentioned above, you can go further and give a super subtle compliment that you know will offend her a little. If you know they’ve always loved writing and think it’s their best subject, tell them, “You know, I could really see you working as a nurse…you’re so handy.” Since the word ” practical” isn’t usually associated with being an avid writer, you’ll think, “Wow… maybe she doesn’t even really know me. I’m not practical, I’m dreamy and creative!”

The goal here isn’t to hurt her — it’s to make her question the friendship and your shared intimacy. Done occasionally, these compliments will create a feeling of great confusion in them. Something will seem wrong, but they’ll never suspect you’re leaking them (because you’re actively cajoling). Just be careful not to sound cutting or derogatory.

Do you have a friend who wants to be best friends and hang out all the time, but you don’t really feel it? It happens to most of us at some point. Don’t hurt her – instead, try to quietly create space with tactful psychological tricks. Photography by Sarah Bahbah

4. Get really busy doing things they don’t do

Not only must you use effective strategies to make your interactions seem less than friendly, but you must also practice physical distancing. By engaging in activities they dislike and connecting with other people, you are taking small steps toward creating a new life for yourself that doesn’t include that person.

I have personally done this in the past with great success. If you and your boyfriend have always enjoyed getting drunk, partying, and acting self-destructively together, show them that you’re moving to new horizons. For example, start going out and start running. If you’ve been trying new burger dishes with them for years, transition to a vegan lifestyle and start seeming disinterested in their lifestyle.

They should believe that you are busy with things that are none of their business. Whether it’s taking up a sport, a drastic lifestyle change, or making friends with new people that that friend isn’t associated with, it has to seem like a natural, genuine change. If you really enjoy this new thing, you will spend your time happily; Not only will you be less available as a result, but you will also be doing something that person doesn’t understand.

Hopefully they’ll find you a little boring and start looking for new, like-minded friends… without ever realizing you’re planning to choke them off in the first place!

Are you trying to break away from a friend or casual love affair without doing any harm? Two easy ways are to really get involved with things they’re not interested in, and also become less active online. Photography by Sarah Bahbah

5. Start being less available on social media

Social media has its pros and cons; It makes it easier to communicate with close friends, but also makes it easy for follower friends to overly contact us. Unfortunately, some clingy people are unable to see that you find their constant messages irritating, especially if you dislike ignoring others and tend to reply to them politely.

Facebook introduces the artificial concept of someone being available 24/7; Many of us scroll through our feed late at night and forget that the little green “Active” button appears next to our name for all to see. Emotionally smart people will realize that you’re probably lying in bed looking at the app on your phone, and won’t be bombarding you with messages at 4:00 a.m. demanding support.

However, someone who is isolated and vulnerable might subconsciously take this as a sign that your availability knows no bounds. When they’re bored, sad, or generally struggling, their brain will direct them to your profile and they’ll message you. This becomes a learned behavior (and obviously applies to other apps, including Snapchat). This situation rarely improves on its own; You need to take action to make you appear less “present” and available.

Facebook allows you to hide your active status from certain people, and I strongly encourage you to do so. Don’t underestimate how effective this can be for slowly cutting someone off; If your friend doesn’t see you online in the chat section, he’s focused on bothering other people and assumes you have better things to do than sit on Facebook.

Consider this before letting someone leak

While it’s true that you don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why you no longer want to be friends with them, you should try to treat others as you would like to be treated yourself. While it may be easier to subtly cut someone out of your life than a direct confrontation, under certain circumstances it might be good for you to just stand up and tell the person as honestly and clearly as possible.

Of course, there are situations where you should avoid this. For example, if you think the person might be dangerous. But in general, it’s always worth thinking about being clean and direct. While uncomfortable, it’s often the more mature course of action, and it can help you handle confrontations better!

Consultation with a Marriage and Family Therapist

© 2018 Lucy

If your partner is pushing you for specific reasons for breaking up, you can acknowledge that you fully understand why they want more detail and maybe provide a reason or two that frames it from a “first-person” perspective, says Hendrix.

In general, you should echo the general feeling that you just don’t think you’re a good fit. “The only reason to really get into all those little details is if you want to work on the relationship,” adds Hendrix.

13. Focus on the relationship.

Address the breakup as a problem in the relationship, not a flaw in your partner, says Porter. “Couples break up for a myriad of reasons, but ultimately it’s the relationship that runs its course, and relationships always last two, so acknowledge that your role in it isn’t working,” he says.

As Hendrix puts it, “The relationship is that unity that you created that doesn’t work,” she says. “You’re not a bad person, she’s not a bad person, but it’s the combination of the two of you that makes you less happy and less fulfilled.”

14. Prepare to listen.

Although you’re the one having the conversation, you should also be willing to listen — and listen carefully, says Porter. “Maybe you don’t like what you’re hearing. Your partner can respond in a variety of ways, but they probably want to be heard, if not have the final say,” he says. “Think about what your partners need in this moment and be prepared to respond and act accordingly.”

15. Plan a series of responses.

There is no sure way to predict how your partner will react to the breakup, but you should prepare for a range of reactions.

When they get angry. “Understand that comes with the territory,” says Porter. Both Porter and Hendrix suggest confirming their feelings. You can say something like, “I understand you’re angry; You have every right to be angry.” This can help diffuse some of the tension, Hendrix says. At the same time, stay calm and don’t rise up to meet their anger with your anger, she says. It can also be helpful to ask: Can you keep talking? Want to take a break and talk again in a few minutes? Of course, if the anger is abusive (or otherwise threatening), you should say “that’s not okay or appropriate” and end the conversation, Hendrix advises. Remember that staying in relationships is never okay because you are afraid of how the other person will react.

When they get sad “Promote empathy as you did before the breakup — through a hug or other affectionate gesture, while being prepared and accepting that it will be rejected,” says Porter.

When they promise to change. Let her know that while you appreciate the offer, the breakup is because the relationship isn’t a good fit, and even if they change, it won’t affect your feelings on the matter, Hendrix says. Also acknowledge that you don’t want them to change for you, and only for themselves if they feel like they need it, adds Porter.

15. Don’t leave things open.

Right now you may feel tempted to soften the blow of a breakup by hinting at the chance of a future reconciliation, but don’t say so if there isn’t a chance; Otherwise, you give your partner false hope. “If you say maybe after I pass the bar exam, wait for your phone to ring after you pass the bar exam,” says Hendrix. “If you know that person isn’t a good life partner for you and there’s a 99 percent chance you’ll never spark anything again, then you just want to tell the truth.”

17. Share some positive feelings.

Although you should focus the conversation on the breakup, it’s also nice to think about what you like about your partner. “You honestly want to say why your life is better because that person was a part of it,” says Hendrix. These thoughts might be well placed as the conversation winds down. “Regardless of your partner’s reaction, at the end of the conversation, say thank you for all the good times,” says Porter. “Express appreciation and regret that it didn’t work out.”

18. Check in with yourself.

After the interview, do a little debriefing with yourself, Hendrix suggests. Ask: How was that for me? How am I feeling right now?

Remind yourself that there is nothing wrong with breaking up with someone, and while you may feel bad now, the feeling is temporary.

Also acknowledge the fact that you just did something really hard. Although you were the one who made the decision to break up, “You’re not clear about feelings,” says Hendrix. When you’re working through difficult emotions, be really gentle with yourself and practice self-care, says Hendrix. Do nice things for yourself: go to the movies, take a nap, cook a healthy meal.

A woman in your life whose behavior strikes you as odd or rude can make you feel angry or even disturbed.

To find out the cause of her behavior, you might want to watch her for signs of jealousy in a woman.

She may have decided that you are jeopardizing one of her relationships or her position in life.

When this is the case, their insecurity may prompt vindictive or passive-aggressive behavior.

Why would a girl be jealous of another girl?

Everyone is prone to jealousy when they perceive that a person can take away something or someone important to them. Romantic relationships are a classic example of jealousy between women.

A woman realizes that another woman has caught the attention of her boyfriend. The competition from the other woman makes her jealous and fears that her boyfriend will leave her for a more attractive partner.

Common situations that provoke female jealousy are:

She catches the attention of your romantic partner.

She spends more time with your best friend.

She develops a strong friendship with your sister.

She outperforms you in the workplace.

She beats you in a competition.

A woman doesn’t have to be successful or even want to break up your marriage, take your best friend, or get the promotion instead of you. She just needs to be perceived as capable and likely to do those things.

A girl about to dethrone another woman from an esteemed position or status could be showing overt or covert signs of female jealousy.

15 signs a woman is jealous of another woman

1. Act defensively

Few people will readily admit to being jealous when asked about it.

The jealous woman will deny that she was thinking of the other person or motivated by insecure feelings. She will insist that only innocent reasons motivated her actions or comments made to the other woman.

2. Phone snooping

A jealous woman may not be able to resist snooping on someone’s phone when the opportunity presents itself.

She wants to know if her boyfriend or best friend is communicating with the woman she considers a rival. Her suspicions drive her to violate the privacy of the person whose relationship she is trying to defend.

If you’re trying to figure out how to tell if a girl is being intimidated by another girl, pay close attention to what she says about the other woman’s looks.

Jealousy can make her feel intimidated because she fears she won’t be able to keep up.

As a result, she may try to belittle other people’s opinions of the girl by saying negative things about her appearance. The intense emotions triggered by jealousy can lead to sarcastic or critical remarks about a person’s appearance.

4. Applaud failures

If she is jealous, she will really enjoy it when the other woman makes a mistake or fails in some way.

She’ll be sure to gossip about her unhappiness and strive to undermine how other people see her.

5. Feigning physical or emotional distress

In trying to keep a boyfriend, sister, or girlfriend away from another woman, she may find reasons to keep someone close to her. She can invent reasons like:

“You have to go with me because I get restless in large groups.”

“We can’t go to this party because my stomach hurts.”

“I sprained my ankle and need you to drive me today.”

6. Debt Release

A jealous girl may openly confront the boyfriend’s interest in spending time with the other girl.

She wants that person to feel bad about taking the attention away from them. She will remind her boyfriend that he should value her over others because of all the nice things she does for him.

She may complain to her best friend about being left out, which hurts her feelings.

7. Disparaging success

This is a behavior that is common in the workplace when a woman is jealous of another woman.

She will try to tone down how people view the other woman’s success. She can encourage the idea that her rival has not achieved success through hard work and skill.

Instead, she was only successful because of her good looks, sexual behavior, or appreciation for the work of others. The jealous actions are designed to defend their position in the workplace hierarchy or win a promotion.

More related articles

13 top reasons you’re still single

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8. Upping their game

How can you tell if a girl is jealous? You will see how she changes some things about herself. Jealousy might inspire a woman to suddenly improve herself, like wearing nicer clothes or getting a new haircut.

She may be taking a dance class, feigning an interest in a hobby, or doing whatever is necessary to improve her ability to compete against the other woman.

9. Exaggerate your success

Jealousy can make her try to win back the limelight from her rival. She will put a fantastic twist on her achievements to make them seem like a lot more than they are.

Suddenly she tells everyone that her boyfriend loves her and buys her nice gifts. Mothers can brag about their children.

Obvious lying can occur even when trying to appear superior to a rival. She can work hard to stage stunning photos for social media.

10. Abruptly changing moods

If there are no other signs of jealousy in a woman, she can instantly become sulky in the presence of the girl who makes her jealous.

Even if she doesn’t say or do anything hostile, or treat a friend suspiciously, she can’t hide the fact that she’s officially in a bad mood the moment the other girl shows up.

She can get angry about something trivial and use that as an excuse to stomp away.

11. Without the woman

When a jealous woman is planning an event or organizing work assignments, she may banish her rival. She won’t invite you to the party at all.

She will give her the thankless tasks at work that limit her ability to win praise.

12. Giving sneaky compliments

She may try to act normal around the woman who makes her jealous, but she still hopes to tone it down a bit.

She may start by saying something nice on the surface and then completely undermine the compliment. “You look great in that dress. Designers are doing such great things with plus size fashion these days.”

13. Expressing open dislike

Not everyone is subtle. Sometimes a jealous woman decides to make it clear that she hates someone. She will say mean things about her rival and try to sabotage her every step.

14. Getting clingy

She can monopolize the time of a romantic partner, sibling, or friend. She wants to get together every day and do things as “just the two of us.”

She remains physically close and maintains frequent telephone contact when she is unable to be present. Her plan boils down to making it impossible for the object of her affection to interact with her rival.

15. Trying to find allies

Some women are very adept at manipulating social forces. A jealous woman might spend her social capital on a campaign to isolate and expel her female rival.

To achieve this, she can persuade other people to share her negative opinions about the other person. She may ask them to exclude her from social or professional functions.

Adaptation to the jealous woman

Learning how to tell when another woman is jealous of you can end your confusion about her bad behavior. Like many people, you might not think that anyone would have any reason to be jealous of you.

The ball isn’t really in your hands in that regard. Jealousy is a natural human reaction when people feel like you can come between them and something they value or want.

Being aware of the jealousy can help you not trigger the person as much. You need to think about whether you’ve crossed a line and should adjust your behavior.

In the future you may need to act with more sensitivity. Of course, if the jealous person is being unreasonable, you deserve to move on with your life as you normally would. Just pay attention to the moves the jealous saboteur might be making in your life.

This article was co-authored by Lisa Shield. Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She holds a Master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in the Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times and Cosmopolitan. This article has been viewed 236,915 times.

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To calm your jealous friend, try to show that you get her point by saying something like, “I understand that you may feel a little threatened by my close friendship with Melissa.” Or if her reaction confuses you , feel free to ask her to explain her feelings so she knows you want to understand her. Once she’s calmed down a bit, let her know how her jealousy makes you feel so you both understand each other. Try to use first person statements so she doesn’t feel like you’re attacking her. For example, say, “I get a little upset when you ask me out about hanging out with Melissa because it feels like you don’t trust me.” You can also reassure her that you love her and with nobody want to be with other people to give her peace of mind. For more tips from our co-author, including how to encourage your jealous girlfriend to work on her self-esteem, read on!

You may have heard people describe someone as “green with envy.” This phrase dates back to the ancient Greeks, who believed that jealousy could trigger bile production and turn the skin slightly green, a sign of illness. Jealousy is sometimes referred to as “a green-eyed monster.” It was Shakespeare’s character Iago who first murmured the phrase in Othello. Although many people use the words “jealousy” and “envy” interchangeably, there is a difference between them. What is the difference and how can you tell if it affects you or someone you know? Learn the differences and steps to take when you find yourself in a situation involving jealousy or envy.

What is jealousy and envy? Envy is wanting what someone else has. You might see a neighbor with a new car or a colleague who gets a new job and they want the same thing. You might feel a sense of resentment towards the person for achieving something you want but haven’t achieved yet. Jealousy is more about holding on to something you already have. You may feel jealous in a relationship when you perceive a threat or worry that the relationship is changing for the worse. While these emotions are easy to define and often easy to spot, they can be difficult to control.

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The saying goes, “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family,” but the truth is that your friends should be an extension of your family, which means the people you call friends are people are whose support and love you can count on unconditionally. While we all know that our social circles are made up of friends, acquaintances, co-workers, and many other groupings, someone classified as a friend should never be part of your “haters” group. If you feel like one of your friends is beginning to fall into this category, check out this list of telltale signs he or she is a hater and make sure you understand their behavior — or their position in your life – get in touch as soon as possible. They are always in competition with you. This is one of the easiest and most reliable ways to tell if your friend is really a friend or just a hater in disguise. Constantly feeling the need to compete with you, no matter how big or small the reason, is not what a true friend does. Rather than compete, it’s okay for a true friend to insist on their own accomplishments rather than trying to piggyback on yours to trump you. They want friendship, not a little competition to see who’s the best.

They Belittle Your Accomplishments and Accomplishments Checking achievements and achievements off your wish list is one of the best things about growing up because it shows the results of your hard work and dedication. However, if your so-called friend always finds a way to downplay your achievements and achievements instead of just being happy for you… Newsflash, they are not your friends. What us to…

It Kills Them To Congratulate You Pay very close attention to who genuinely agrees and congratulates you at times of celebration, these are the people who are your friends, not the haters who sit on the sidelines. When you can see the pain it takes for your friend to just congratulate you, you really need to step back and ask yourself why you have this person in your life in the first place.

They like to make fun of you in front of others This is unacceptable behavior that haters use to make themselves feel better, belittling you to lower your shine and uplifting themselves. You should never accept a friend making fun of you in front of others and writing it off as a joke because it goes much deeper. The way to deal with this is to call them right away while they are doing it. That way, it will scare them beyond denying what they are doing and get your point across.

They Reveal All Your Secrets When you truly trust your boyfriend, you feel comfortable and vulnerable enough to share some (or all) of your deepest secrets, but what happens when that boyfriend carelessly spills all your tea? It means you are not the friend you need. There is a certain level of unforgivable betrayal that occurs when you find that your boyfriend has been telling all your affairs, affairs you thought you were sharing with someone who genuinely cares.

You never share secrets about yourself. While you share all your secrets with them, your friend never tells you about their tea. This is a classic case of someone collecting receipts about you to use against you at a later date, usually when you first piss them off. That’s not how a friendship should work. It should be about love and support and not listening to me give away my secrets for you to use against me for future ammunition.

You get into your feelings when you give advice. Some people have a hard time taking advice, and that’s okay, isn’t it? However, if you notice that whenever you give advice to a certain friend, they take an important stance, you probably already know why. When people do this, it’s because they’re so jealous and envious of you that they interpret your advice, while you look down on them and think you’re superior to what they’re going through.

You Can’t Count On Them Reliability is one of the greatest qualities of a good friend. So if your friend is sorely lacking in this area (and several others), it may be time to re-evaluate what is called friendship. Being able to call your friend when you really need them is very important, it shows that they have your priority and have your back when it matters most. If reliability is lacking, chances are there are many other important things to friendship as well.

They live for drama but hate happiness We’re all guilty of our small moments, but there’s a limit to how far a friendship should go. If your friend is the first to run to receive some drama you’re having but is completely absent when you’re happy, he’s definitely not someone to call a friend. Your happiness is something any real friend would enjoy, not go away or secretly hate that it’s happening. This is incredibly toxic behavior and you should quickly remove this person from your inner circle.

They can’t remember when they actually acted as a friend. It’s that simple. If you can’t easily remember when that person actually acted as a friend, you already know what to do. Unless they’re actively a friend, you don’t need them around, especially if they’re just trying to trip you up on a regular basis.