Being Fooled By Someone You Trust? Best 75 Answer

Use the following steps and questions to avoid being manipulated, deceived, or taken advantage of by viral rumors, misleading memes, scam news sites, and fake images.

1. Check Your Emotions: What is your first reaction?

Are you mad? Outraged? Curious? Upset?

Misinformation often tries to hijack our rational minds with emotional appeals.

2. Determine the Purpose of What You Read, Watch, or Hear:

Is it a news report? An opinion column? An ad? Satire?

Knowing what it is will help you decide if you can trust it.

Knowing what it is will help you decide if you can trust it. What do you know about the source (news agency, blog, video producer, etc.)?

Does it have an “About Us” (or similar) page?

Does it provide biographical or contact information for its staff and contributors?

3. Be aware of your biases:

Do you assume – or hope – that it is true? Or that it’s wrong?

They tend to be less critical of information that “feels right”.

4. Consider the message:

Is it “too perfect”?

Is it openly or aggressively partisan?

Does it use loaded language, excessive punctuation – !!! – or CAPITAL LETTERS for emphasis?

Does it claim to hold a secret or tell you something “the media” doesn’t want you to know?

5. Look for more information:

Are serious news outlets reporting the same thing?

Have independent fact-checkers challenged or debunked them?

Can you determine where it first appeared?

6. Dig deeper into the source:

Search for his name and then do a WHOIS lookup on his web domain. What do you think?

Is social media responsible? Do his posts and tweets appear reliable?

Does it correct errors promptly and transparently?

Is there evidence that it publishes satire?

Does the site contain silly lines of text or section headings?

Are there disclaimers anywhere on the site labeling them as satirical or fictional?

7. Then delve deeper into the content itself:

Search the byline: is it a real person or a made-up name?

Is the information reported old or outdated?

Can you confirm important details (date, time, location)?

Look for the citations used: are they correct? Are they presented in context?

Do a reverse image search for photos and graphics: do they appear elsewhere on the web? If so, are they shown in a different context? Have they been changed?

REMEMBER:

Be a Stupid Brave Citizen: How to Overcome the Fear of Stupidity and Take the Risks You’ve Always Dreamed of

By Shannon Thompson

Nobody wants to feel stupid. The emotion is uncomfortable and usually consists of some embarrassment and a sense of having been negatively exposed. Encounters with stupidity are usually brief and uncomfortable at worst. However, our fear of being stupid is often exponentially greater than the actual consequences of being stupid. I believe the fear of being stupid is a dangerous mental trap that can undermine the quality of our lives outside of our consciousness. Last week I wrote specifically about the damage a fear of stupidity can do. This affliction can impede innovation, hamper learning, poison achievement, kill individuality, sap hope, and prevent connection. For those of you with raised eyebrows, I am looking straight at you with great sincerity. But there’s good news: you can overcome the fear of being stupid. Read on to learn how.

Unlike many other mental obstacles, I believe that the fear of being stupid can be overcome quickly. The key is to recognize when you are experiencing it and then have strategies in place to apply it. Fear of stupidity manifests itself in a variety of forms such as: confusion about where to start (an artwork, a project proposal, a conversation), rationalization that leads to delays (“It’s just not the time”, “I’m not willing ,”), self-doubt (“I don’t know enough to do this”), and most importantly, concern about what others will think and say (“People might find that strange”, “If I fail, I will be so embarrassing you.”) What piece of art, idea, or conversation have you wished you could start (or continue or complete) for a long time? What have you told yourself that has stopped you from starting it, continuing it or complete?If you can recognize this, you have identified where the fear of stupidity has crept into your life.

My way to overcome the fear of stupidity

The fear of stupidity is felt in the body. I have studied it on myself and asked others about it. Overwhelmingly, I’ve been told (and experienced) that people feel fear under their skin. You feel a tingling in your periphery (arms, legs, fingers, head). Some speak of heart palpitations. When it comes to stage fright, many feel “butterflies” in their stomachs. Conversely, when I talk to people about the deepest issues (what they know to be true, those closest to them, their most stubborn hopes and dreams) and I ask them where they feel them in their body, they always put their hand then her heart. Always.

Try it. Are you wondering who in the world do I love the most? Now notice where do you feel this love? Take a moment, a long moment. If I ask where do you feel that in your body? People often say what do you mean? Just be still and breathe easy. where do you feel this love Next, ask yourself what work over the past five years are you most proud of? Pause again, where do you feel the memory of this work in your body? Often your answer will be in my heart. These are a bit strange questions, I know. As I write this, I feel a slight superficial tingling fear that you will find this approach too strange. But I can also tell you that the need to share this strategy with you comes straight from my heart. I feel it there, like a little burn. So since I can feel both fear on the surface and a deep desire in my heart, I know I must write to you as follows.

A few years ago, someone asked me, “How do I know I’m on the right path?”

“I don’t know for sure,” I said (we can never know for sure), but I believe that following a path where fear and desire collide rarely leads us astray. Go where you feel a tingling in your peripheries and a knowing in your heart. And this, my friends, is one way to overcome the fear of being stupid.

Other ways to overcome the fear of being stupid:

cooperation

Collaborating with other creatives can help reduce the fear of being stupid when it comes to innovation. Additionally, other creators can help predict your project’s likelihood of success. In his book Originals, Adam Grant stated that other developers are the most reliable source of advice when it comes to determining whether a new project will be a success or a flop. “When artists rated each other’s performances, they were about twice as accurate as managers and test audiences … [other creators] lack the risk aversion of managers and test audiences; They are open to seeing the potential in unusual possibilities, which guards against false negatives. At the same time, they have no particular investment in our ideas, which gives them enough distance to give an honest evaluation and protect against false positives.”

Collaborating with other innovators also makes a person feel less alone. In all likelihood, fellow innovators will recall similar feelings of insecurity and fears of stupidity that you experience as a creator. By normalizing these fears, especially in successful YouTubers, you are less likely to be put off by them and more likely to stick with your project.

When working on something innovative, it is important and helpful to remember that you have to think differently than others. By definition, innovation means designing something new. You have to think differently than others to create something new, and that always risks feeling stupid. In his book Wired to Create, psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman explains the need to think differently if you want to innovate:

“The one absolutely essential ingredient of any kind of creative output is thinking differently. By rejecting traditional ways of thinking, successful creative work defies standards and authorities, causes anger, and ultimately paves the way for real change… The history of creative thought and social progress is littered with… tales of banned books, culture wars, persecuted artists, and paradigm shifters Innovations that have changed the way we see the world. Almost every innovation that has really made a difference initially met with mixed resistance, if not outright condemnation.”

In order to create something new and work towards wider acceptance, an innovator almost always faces resistance. Recognizing this fact can help one persevere despite the fear of appearing stupid.

Understand the human fear of uncertainty

When your new innovation or idea faces resistance, it can help to understand that the resistance may not stem from a flaw in your idea, but rather from the innate human fear of uncertainty. Scott Barry Kaufman writes:

“Why are paradigm-shifting ideas consistently and predictably ridiculed and rejected throughout history? That’s because we, as a culture and as individuals, are deeply biased against creativity. This creativity bias makes sense when we look at how our brains are wired. Humans are inherently risk averse. And when there is a motivation to reduce uncertainty, creativity biases are activated at both the individual and institutional levels… Research by organizational psychologists at Cornell University has found that this implicit creativity bias causes us to resent creative ideas and projects compared to them see negative that is more practical…”

Develop a growth mentality

Learning to adopt a “growth mindset” can help reduce our fear of being stupid. A growth mindset is the belief that our basic skills can be improved—that we can get better. One fixed mindset is the belief that you can’t really change your ability – you either have it or you don’t. For several decades, Dr. Carol Dweck demonstrated that people with a growth mindset tend to try harder, achieve more, and show more resilience than people with a fixed mindset. People with a rigid mindset are more likely to succumb to the fear of stupidity, believing that failure in any pursuit is a permanent indictment of their ultimate abilities. In order to avoid failure, people with fixed mindsets often prefer simple tasks and avoid taking risks.

On the other hand, individuals with a growth mindset understand that human skills are malleable, meaning improvement is always possible through work. Therefore, growth minded individuals are more willing to risk failure (and are less prone to fears of stupidity) because they understand that failure and failure are not permanent measures of their ultimate ability.

Recalibrate your perception of risk

Often the fear of being stupid feels very much like being stressed. Stanford Health Psychologist Kelly McGonigal is a leading expert on stress and how we can turn it to our advantage. McGonigal explains that when we can redefine our attitude towards stress and view it as a challenge rather than a threat, we change the physiological composition of our body’s stress response. When you view stressful situations as challenges and the stress response as an asset to overcome the challenges, the inner chemistry of stress turns into a substance that benefits our bodies and promotes feelings of courage. So the next time you’re feeling stressed out because you’re afraid you’ll seem stupid, try to reframe the situation as a challenge and an opportunity.

Strengthen your connections

Often our deepest fear of being stupid is that taking risks will cost us our relationships. When key social connections are strong, we feel bolder about taking risks: “All the successful people I know surround themselves with positive relationships,” NCAA championship running coach Mike Smith told me. The fear of being stupid is deeply rooted in the fear of being alone. And when a person is in regular contact with loved ones, the fear of being alone has no solid ground to stand on and quickly loses strength.

practice mindfulness

Professor Jon Kabat Zinn, founder of the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, explained: “Mindfulness is paying attention in a certain way: intentionally, in the present moment, without judgment.”

Practiced regularly, mindfulness meditation can strengthen and enlarge the brain structures responsible for attention. Strong control of attention is important for dealing with fears of stupidity for several reasons: Mindfulness can create greater awareness and distance from the thoughts and emotions you are feeling.

The first step to overcoming the fear of being stupid is to recognize that you are experiencing it. Those who practice mindfulness regularly become more aware of the multiple emotions present within them at any given moment. Mindfulness meditation can increase a person’s awareness to notice numerous thoughts and emotions that are present in the conscious mind. Additionally, the mindfulness and attentional control gained through regular mindfulness practice can allow a person to choose to engage with some thoughts and emotions over others.

Finally, just listen to me

you live once Personally, I believe that each of us on Earth has a specific role to play in the unfolding of the future. You are here with your special skills and passions to use in the world. The philosopher Martha Graham puts it beautifully:

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, an acceleration that is translated into action by you, and because there is only one of you at all times, that expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost.”

An interesting pattern I’ve noticed is that we often experience great anxiety (usually fear of stupidity and/or failure) around the project or risk or love that calls us the strongest. Many others have noticed this. Artist Amanda Palmer says, “Whatever that is — wherever you don’t want to go, whatever the risk, whatever the unsafe place is — that’s really the gift you have to give.” I want you encourage, as someone who regularly advises people to walk the path where fear and longing collide, who has seen the joy that comes from walking that path, and who has himself found great fulfillment in following it, let you not to fear stupidity limits your life. Instead, use it as a guide on where to start, and do it today.

“I speak of the happy platform of many years,

I don’t think I ever wasted any of it.

Need a prod?

Need a little darkness to get you going?

let me be as urgent as a knife,

and remember Keats,

so purposeful and thoughtful for a while,

he had a lifetime…”

~ Mary Oliver, “The Three Zodiacs”

About the author

Shannon Thompson is a mental performance consultant specializing in high-performance athletics. Shannon has a Masters of Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania.

The current regulations are crammed with silly details that are unnecessarily onerous

conceived or made without regard to reason or reality

shows or is characterized by a lack of common sense or judgment

a foolish plan designed to make us all rich

Fools who thought the world was going to end in 2000

Frequently asked questions about stupid

How is the word stupid different from other similar adjectives?

Some common synonyms for stupid are dumb, dumb, dumb, and plain. While all of these words mean “actually or apparently lacking in intelligence,” stupidity implies the character of being unable or seemingly unable to exercise judgment, discretion, or common sense.

stupid stunts

Where would stupid be a reasonable alternative to stupid?

The words stupid and dumb are synonyms but differ in nuances. In particular, stupidity indicates a total and contemptible failure to use normal rationality or perception.

a stupid act

When could stupidity be used to replace stupidity?

The words foolish and foolish can be used in similar contexts, but foolish implies stupidity, foolishness, and disregard for reality.

silly conspiracy theories

When does it make sense to use stupid instead of stupid?

Although the words silly and foolish have much in common, silly indicates a failure to act as a rational being, particularly through ridiculous behavior.

the silly antics of the night owls

When is simple a more appropriate choice than stupid?

The meanings of simple and stupid largely overlap; However, simple implies a level of intelligence insufficient to cope with anything complex or with mental effort.

considered easy people who had problems with computers

So you’ve met a guy who you think is super cool, but you don’t know if he really is. Also, you may not even know what kind of relationship the two of you are in. Is that why you chose this blog? Or is it because you’ve never had a boyfriend and want to make sure you’re with the right person?

Don’t worry I’m here to guide you well and make sure you end up finding the right one. Here is the list of some signs to look out for:

15 Signs He’s Just Playing Games With You And Playing Your Emotion Video

Please help our YouTube channel if you like our video. Let’s grow together!

How do you know if a guy is playing with his feelings?

1. Mood swings

He has two sides to himself. Overly moody and overly ecstatic. He never seems to have a normal day with you. There will be days when he just ignores you and gets angry easily over little things and days when he just wants to be with you all day and desperately needs you.

2. He only shows up when you’re needed

Is this guy only there when he needs you, and when he doesn’t, you don’t hear from him for a long time? Then this person is just playing with your emotions.

A real man won’t do that to his one true love. Instead, he will be there all the time and treat you like royalty because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or let you go so easily.

3. You do things according to his time

He gives you so little of his time? He often cancels your plans together? He always forgets you two have something to do because he’s always busy with something else? Not only does it say that you are not his priority, but it is also a sign that he has better things to do than hang out with you.

4. No deep conversations

He always avoids talking about the things you want to do with him in the future and instead just wants to have fun with you. He prefers small talk and flirting to having any of those get-to-know-you conversations. He might even say it casually, “Let’s just have fun today, okay?” and thereby cancel whatever plans you were trying to make with him.

5. No interest in your life

He might have asked you the basic questions like “where do you live” or “how many siblings do you have” on your first date, but he immediately erased them from his mind because you’re not just that important and you take up space in his life .

He is reluctant to hang out with your family or friends. He doesn’t even know what flavor of ice cream you like or what type of movies you like. If the person is genuinely interested in you, they’ll know absolutely nothing about you (even the kind of pajamas you wear on the weekends) and spend time with other people around you.

He doesn’t care about you because he’s just playing a game with you, no commitment at all.

6. He hides you

You’ve been together for quite some time now, but he still hasn’t even introduced you to his friends. He always says later, but he never really does. Even if the two of you are out together and a friend he knows approaches you, he doesn’t introduce you as his girlfriend, just a friend (worse, if the boyfriend is a girl, he might be dating her too) .

7. He doesn’t want you to ask questions about him

A good guy will always welcome an opportunity to open up to a woman he cares about. However, if this guy is reluctant to answer your questions, then something is wrong with the situation.

It’s just fun to be mysterious on first dates, but if you’ve both been dating a long time now but still don’t know the tiniest details about him, that’s a sign he doesn’t want you to be deep with him tied together. He may not want you in his life either and only sees you as someone to replace when someone else comes along.

8. He doesn’t want you to meet his friends

If he’s not willing to set you up with his friends, it means he doesn’t want them to know about your relationship. If he’s serious about you, he’ll show you off to his friends and treat you like royalty, or at least try to impress you so they can ask you out later. If this guy doesn’t want that, he’s just playing with your feelings and doesn’t care how he makes you feel.

9. He plays with your feelings and emotions

This guy can be so sweet to you when he wants to get in your pants, but once you just give it up way too soon, he starts treating you like nothing afterwards. He will tell you one thing today and another tomorrow.

So keep in mind that this type of player is dangerous for someone who is looking for a real relationship. If this guy is playing a game with you, don’t let him waste your time!

10. Empty promises

This guy will tell you everything to get the job done. He might even promise to take care of you and your family, but as soon as you’re in bed with him, he’ll tell you that he’s not ready for a relationship after all.

Sometimes this guy doesn’t even show up on time! Remember that actions speak louder than words. His actions tell you that he is only playing with your emotions! Believe me, if this guy cares about how you feel when he acts that way, then he won’t be able to hurt your feelings.

11. He pushes you into bed

This guy is really good at pressuring you into doing things you are not ready for. Then he’ll tell you that you’re no fun if you can’t and that he can “find another girl who will.” This is just another way to give you the idea that if you don’t do something you’re not ready for, other girls will do it.

This guy cares more about how many women he can get and less about making a good girl treat her well. If this guy doesn’t respect your decision, then he probably doesn’t care enough about your feelings at all.

He’s just playing a game with you.

12. He treats other girls badly

If this guy abuses other girls, then he probably does the same to you. You should never stand behind another woman. Of course, he’s probably just an ass in general, but he just hasn’t treated you like that before!

Please don’t play games with your feelings and don’t let this guy play them with yours too. Be careful of these signs because they will show you whether the guy you are messing around with is playing with your emotions or not.

Let him go and find someone who deserves your love.

13. He makes you feel insecure

This guy is just playing the game with your emotions so he can make you think badly about yourself. He will say things that make you wonder if you are good enough for him or not. This type of behavior is another way to use mind games against women to get them into bed.

A real man will respect his woman and never tell her she’s not good enough for him, especially when he knows full well that she really is. So if this guy does this to you then you don’t have to wait any longer for him because he will only hurt your feelings more later!

14. He doesn’t care about you at all

When this guy isn’t doing anything for you, he’s just playing with your emotions. Remember that it takes two people to make a relationship work and if he doesn’t go out of his way to help both of you then there is no reason to stay there.

He probably wants to take advantage of your beauty!

If he was genuinely interested in pursuing something real with you, he would take his time with everything, including the small details, and prove himself to be a good partner.

Don’t waste your time with someone who doesn’t even care about you! You deserve better!

15. You feel it in your stomach

Trust your gut feeling. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t! If you’re walking around feeling like something’s just not right between the two of you, trust your instincts and get out of there fast!

Keep in mind that this type can be a player like the one described above. Don’t let him play with your emotions because nobody deserves to feel bad or have their feelings played around with.

Why do guys sometimes play girls?

Some guys play girls to win them over and get them into bed.

Some guys play girls because they are confused about their own feelings for you.

Some guys play girls because they are afraid of getting serious or intimate with a girl. You’re afraid of getting hurt again. They would rather keep their emotions in check by playing hard to get them than risk themselves again.

Some guys might feel that making a girl fall in love with them and dump them makes them feel good. It’s sort of an ego trip that boosts her confidence through a series of conquests, if you can call it that.

Some guys do things to get admiration and attention from girls just because they like the feeling of being an object of desire.

Just like girls who choose bad boys to be adored by someone with undying love, knowing full well that those bad boys are not going to get attached to a girl.

Some guys would rather play than settle down because playing around is more exciting than a stable relationship. They are just immature and play like a game.

Some don’t see a future with the girl, so they don’t want to settle down. They just want fun while it lasts.

Money is also an issue for some guys. They would play you because they want your money. These guys are just scum to be avoided!

How to know if a guy is toying with you or really liking you?

When a guy likes you, everything about you appeals to him. A girl who knows she has nothing to offer but still makes an effort to make herself pretty because deep down she knows the other person deserves the effort will always eventually get her man’s attention.

There will be no qualms about getting intimate with you if a guy likes you. You won’t have to puzzle over where your relationship stands or what it really means to him.

When a guy doesn’t want anything serious with you, but still wants something from you. He may want your money, your body, your affection, your time, or just the pleasure of your company.

When a guy plays with you, he won’t allow himself to become emotionally attached. Instead, he will hide his feelings behind cold and indifferent behavior that will confuse you.

If a guy is just playing around, the relationship can never last more than three months because by then he would have moved on to playing another girl who interests him more than you already do. That means there are so many other girls out there like you that this one guy only has a limited amount of time to play before it’s time for him to look for something new again!

If a guy doesn’t feel anything for you but still wants your body, he’s only going to mess around with you because his main priority is simply to have fun and enjoy life.

If your man doesn’t want commitment, don’t wait a day because you will spend the rest of your life just realizing that he will never commit!

Read the tips written above. Then take responsibility and move on. You deserve better than a guy who plays with your feelings like that.

bottom line

If you’re wondering if the guy in your life is playing games with you, there are a few signs to look out for! If he doesn’t show up on time or is pressured into doing things that make you uncomfortable and don’t respect your decision.

It can be hard to tell if a guy really cares about you or not, but listen carefully and trust your gut because they never lie. If this sounds like something that’s happened to him more than once, then maybe it’s time to switch to someone who treats them both better.

If he’s one of those, just think about it. Maybe you should reconsider if he’s worth another chance or maybe you’re better off being single. Perhaps you can spend your precious time alone, focus more on improving yourself, and hang out with your friends to avoid the possibility of having your heart played.

ALSO READ: 17 Signs of a Potentially Toxic Relationship

photo of mom Myrelle Montallana

Answering the big question: can you make a player fall in love with you?

The weird thing about gamers is that Hollywood portrays them in a way that makes them charming and “rescuable.” They are portrayed as these charming, mysterious beings. So when we meet them in reality, we automatically have this sympathy for them.

What they really are are fragile boys who have been hurt once (or more times) and never recovered. They avoid being vulnerable at all costs, so they are insensitive to your feelings. I will explain a player’s warning signs in more detail.

Here’s what you’ll read in this article:

Let’s define what a gambler is – A gambler psychologically explained

A Gambler – A guy, a man, who dates multiple people (with or without your knowledge) who ignores your feelings and tells you whatever it takes to “gamble” you into bed. That said, he’s not looking for attachment, instead he’s playing games to make you believe he is.

According to Psychology Today, the term “gambler” is also used when it isn’t. The term is used quite frequently by women who like to be in control during the dating process.

The truth about players is that they have been emotionally hurt. It is about hurtful past experiences either from their childhood or a past experience with another person with whom they were romantically involved.

When a player was emotionally hurt in childhood, usually by their mother. This can be explained by the mother complex – a theory by Carl Jung that calls this type of dating Don Juanism.

Now, the player who practices Don Juanism subconsciously constantly searches for his mother in the women he sees. Note: in heterosexual unions.

Usually, the mother portrays a caring, caring, and caring character, and in the case of a player who didn’t feel loved by his mother during his childhood, he seeks comfort from other women, not just one, but several women at the same time .

If he was hurt by a past romantic experience with a woman, he will emotionally block himself from opening up to let someone in. Because the thought of fragility scares them now. You have been injured and are constantly trying to avoid it.

So a player in the deep is just as fragile as anyone else. The thing about them is that they consciously and unconsciously deal with problems and try to avoid getting hurt at all costs.

A player can only start working on their problems/demons if they acknowledge them. It’s something they have to solve and manage on their own, not some solid simple thing that someone can provide.

Introduction to a player’s game – How he tricks you

They know exactly what you want to hear and they say it.

We’re talking about a sophisticated game to get you hooked and they do. It’s about studying you, knowing your type, and using it to seduce you.

They make you insecure.

He doesn’t want you to know your worth, nor to be sure of what and who you are/represent. Because when you know your worth, you know you deserve better and have enough courage to speak up about what hurts you and cut it off.

They fake emotions – they don’t care about yours.

Especially during debates, they try to use their looks, their ability to say what hits your vulnerabilities, and use it against you to make you feel insecure and guilty for what you told them, even if it’s their fault to start with .

They create an image of themselves, sell it to you, manipulate you into believing everything they say, just so they get admiration from you (and other people).

They know they are good looking, they use their charm to manipulate you. Especially with the look on her face and her ability to make things sound so real.

They react strangely to rejection.

They will do anything they can to make you feel guilty for rejecting them. They will play the victim, they will do what is necessary.

In some other cases, they don’t accept it and suddenly become rude. Since they don’t deal with “negative emotions” very well.

is he playing you – Sign that he is a player

Now that we have a better understanding of what a player is and why they are the way they are, let’s move on to the signs they emit if you’re already dealing with them.

More tips on how to know if a guy is playing with you and how to get over a player.

Here, here are the signs he’s toying with you:

1. He has this incredible ability to make you feel guilty and insecure

His game is well thought out so he doesn’t get hurt or “humiliated”. You can notice this especially when he’s in an argument trying to turn the situation around and blame you.

Here is a more concrete example:

You feel very self conscious and maybe angry when you tell him something he did that hurt you. you tell him Debate begins, he plays the victim, maybe yells a bit, gets angry and accuses you of accusing him of “something like that”. You feel guilty and sorry that you brought it up. “I could have just shut up instead. I can’t believe I’m so selfish!” End of story.

It didn’t happen once, it didn’t happen twice, it happened more than that.

2. He doesn’t try very hard unless it’s about sex

He doesn’t bother to date you or to “invest” time, money, or emotion in “the relationship.” What he actually does is he’s the nicest and nicest when he’s around but doesn’t notice you when he’s in public.

He starts preparing the bed when it’s time to sleep – he reaches out to you only when you need to meet up, whatever is with him or with you, or anywhere just the two of you are.

Notice how he always finds excuses not to stay after “the fun time” is over.

3. He’s always trying to do it with sex/sexting – He only gets in touch late at night

So he barely reaches you, and when he texts you, you notice that he’s constantly trying to do it with sex. He’s almost desperate to steer the conversation toward sexting. It’s one of the signs he’s not interested by text.

They need attention, affection and love, but being emotionally unavailable they only need the surface. They want sex, sexting, but they don’t want the emotional connection, the bond that sex brings.

4. He plays the victim

every time You’re letting him know that you’re not very comfortable, that he’s only contacting you just before you both go through the baby-making process. He’ll hit you with something like, “Babe, I only have one day off a week, and I choose it to be with you. Now you’re telling me I’m only contacting you for sex? And me? How do you think I feel being alone all week?!”

It gets even more dramatic. But that is not the point. The point is, they play victim to make you feel guilty and question your standards.

5. He doesn’t bother with “the title” – “Babe, you know how I feel about you!”

You ask him the big question:

“What are we? Are we a couple or friends or friends with benefits? What are we really?”

And he goes out of his way not to directly answer your question. He can hit you with something like, “Babe… babe, you know how I feel about you. Labels are not required.”

He might even take it further to make you feel silly and guilty for putting him in such a position.

In short, he wants to be discreet, and he will find his way to do so.

6. He disappears from time to time

He haunts you and comes back. He does this quite often and over and over again – he just stops texting.

Notice how long he’s been gone. It can take weeks or even months; and when he comes back, he starts off with a casual-sounding “Hey stranger!”

I want you to think about it and decide. Do you want to answer or remain a stranger?

7. You feel the pressure to give him space

It’s all those tiring mind games he plays with you and he does it so well. You often feel like giving him the space he so desperately needs because you have smothered him with all your neediness.

We all need something. In your case, he’s too sex-crazy, but you know, it’s the only time you see him, and whenever you bring it up, he starts the drama, so fuck it.

The thing is, he’ll talk about the things and do the things that make you say, “I’m too needy, I need to give him space!”. He knows everything about the games, he will obviously use that knowledge.

8. He gets cold after sex

Yes, he gets cold after sex and you wonder what you did wrong or said wrong.

This can be explained by their inability to connect, their fear of making a connection which then exposes them to vulnerability. Sex is also a way of bonding, it involves a lot of intimacy and vulnerability, and a player won’t be able to handle cuddling and pillow talk well either – they’ll get cold so they can avoid it.

9. He doesn’t trust you – He’s controlling and jealous

His insides are chaotic, so he will wreak havoc on others – he reflects his relationship with himself.

He’s dating other people (he’s most likely hiding this from you), so he’ll doubt you’re doing the same thing behind his back.

He can’t trust anyone because his trust has been tested before and that’s one of the reasons he’s the way he is today. He can’t trust you, that’s why he doesn’t let you in, and that’s why he doesn’t let you see the vulnerability in him.

10. His words don’t match his actions – lies, lies, lies!

You may have caught him lying about more than one thing. He’ll say he’s going to do something, but he’s doing something completely different.

To put it bluntly, he lies to you about things.

11. You never see him on weekends

He uses his weekends for other things. Maybe he’s in a relationship with someone else and spends his weekends with them.

The point is, he will avoid spending time with you.

The reason?

Spending time together can lead to learning more about each other, which then leads to a connection or bond. He will avoid that as much as possible.

12. He’s very protective of his cell phone

He has all these girlfriends that he doesn’t want you to know about (maybe his social media is full of them). He also has contacts and messages and all those things that you shouldn’t see, so he’s touchy when it comes to the phone – He’ll do his best not to let you see his phone.

13. It’s been a while and he hasn’t introduced you to anyone

I was in doubt as to whether or not to include this character. But I did because when combined with the other signs, this one can be a pretty big indicator.

I’m not talking about 3 months that I’ve known him, I’m talking about a year and more since you met. If he hasn’t introduced you to anyone close to him, then he’s most likely playing games.

Note: Don’t take this sign alone as there can be many other reasons besides gambling why they don’t introduce someone to their close ones (friends or family or someone close to them).

How do you know he’s a player? – Discover a player before you get too involved with them

This is for those who haven’t done too much yet. Maybe you only text or talk every now and then (although most players don’t “play” that way), whichever the case is, you haven’t kissed him, had sex with him, or penetrated him too deeply, here learn how to tell if a guy is a player:

1. “I don’t want anything serious, but I want to get to know you better”

He tells you similar things at the very beginning. He doesn’t want anything serious, but he wants to get to know you better.

Okay sir, then what’s the point of knowing me better? Kiss? To have sex? And then leave without explanation?

You know your own standards, but I would choose not to let him “get to know him better” unless you’re not interested in anything serious either.

2. Everything about him is so perfect, but something just doesn’t feel right

You hear everything you always wanted to hear – it’s too good to be true. That’s because he knows exactly what you want to hear, and he’ll use exactly that to get you hooked. you discovered him

3. He’s super confident – almost cocky

Maybe not even cocky, but he knows when he’s crossing the line, so he won’t. Back to the point:

He’s super confident and it’s intimidating. He’s got the looks and he knows it. He’s got the charm, he’s got the words – he’s fully armed with what it takes to get someone hooked.

4. He comes off too strongly when he first knows you

You just introduced yourself and he’s already talking to you about how many children he wants to have in the future. But trust me, when it comes to really talking about it, he’ll pull away, and you’ll notice.

Or maybe he just got out of a relationship and is already walking with the “babe,” “you’re so important to me,” and other similar lines that take time to feel to say.

5. He tries to move things too quickly

The thing is, he’ll make sure everything goes fast so you don’t assume much, waste your time and get straight to the point, which is: sex.

That’s why he starts off with words like “babe” or “sexy” and you can tell that from the first day you meet him. You met him today and you already feel like you are in a relationship. Girl, boy, whatever you are, run!

6. He only texts you late at night

Maybe you haven’t met yet, you’re just in the texting phase (which doesn’t last long with gamers), but when he texts, he only does it late at night.

The reason for this? He wants to get into sexting so he makes room to kiss or even have sex if you meet. He’s smart, but not too smart!

7. He tells you all about his crazy exes

He wants you to feel sorry for him because he was mistreated by some crazy girls who didn’t know his worth. Well, if he doesn’t respect his time with them, he won’t respect his time with you either.

He already talks bad about people, what can you expect from him?

8. He doesn’t pay attention to what you say and forgets every time

Maybe he’s asking things, but he’s not listening, he’s not heeding the wisdom you preach. That’s why he says “What?” or is surprised when you mention something you’ve said to him before.

Girl boy, whatever you are, run before you get too involved with him.

9. He says “I’m not a player” without asking him

Yeah, so he’s trying to sell you this picture. You know that feeling when you’re guilty of something and get suspicious that everyone will know what you’ve done, so try to keep it casual? Same with our boy.

You didn’t even ask, you didn’t say a damn thing about “play” or “player”, he just kept talking about it, oh he’s talking the talk!!

10. He dated a lot of people you know

Look, if a lot of friends in your circle of friends have stories about him, that’s not a very good sign. Sure, the world is small sometimes, but if it’s more than one friend telling you they’ve been involved with them, then maybe you should think a little longer before jumping into it.

Find out if you’re dating the right person or the wrong person

is he a player – FAQs

There were so many questions on this topic, some of which were already expected of you! Here you are:

“What are the signs a player is falling in love with you?”

Okay, so a player is human first, then man, then player, right? So he’s a man who falls in love with you unless you don’t think he’s a male human. However, here are a few things to focus on a little more:

He doesn’t play games anymore – That’s why they call them players, they play games. But he can’t do them with someone he’s in love with. It’s just love

He’ll want to spend time outside of the bedroom – He’ll want to take you out. He finds time for you no matter what.

He will start opening up – about the daily things in his life, his problems and his past. This is one of the hardest things a player can do. It has a lot to do with intimacy and I’m not talking about sex, I’m talking about closeness and vulnerability with another.

He will keep in touch regularly – he will reach out to you and keep you close to him and update you on what he is doing. And he won’t tell you things to make you feel sorry for him, he will tell you things that are genuine and pure. You will know when he does.

“Do players fall in love?”

Of course they fall in love. As I said above, he’s human first, then he’s a man, THEN he’s a player. It’s made of bones, flesh, feelings, emotions, hormones, problems and everything that makes up a human being. He may try to deny it, but he’s showing signs that he loves you. Of course he falls in love.

“Can I change a player?”

Not really. However, if he decides to change

If you want to be with him (as he is), know that there will be challenges. Especially if YOU try to change him. A good approach to the situation would help him. You can be there and stand by his side on his journey to healing rather than trying to change him to help you yourself.

He has to make the decision he wants to change. There’s not much you can do about it unless you stay by his side and help him.

“I want a player to fall in love with me. How can I do that?”

There are no tips or tricks to make someone fall in love, forget the “steps”, the “free excellent videos”, the “this will make him fall in love with you”!

What makes a player fall in love depends entirely on their type, personality, preferences, the social environment they grew up in, and many other factors. Players have and can develop feelings regardless of how they are judged. The problem is that they can’t commit and have trouble being intimate and showing their vulnerability.

“I fell in love with a player, now he ignores me. What do I do about it?

Just as he needs to acknowledge his inner problems in order to work on them, so must you. Look deep within yourself and see what draws you to this man, what made you fall in love with him.

Usually, girls who fall in love and become attached to these men have the father complex or also known in society as “father problems”. They unconsciously see their father figure in him and cling to him.

Concentrate on yourself and your well-being. Try to let go of your attachment with him and be open to working on yourself.

“Can a player commit to a relationship?”

In most cases, a player cannot commit to a relationship. Because that is the main problem why they are called players. You are not interested in a relationship.

However, if they choose to acknowledge their inner issues and work to figure out what’s troubling them, they might as well commit to a relationship. Many people struggling with this turn to therapy and find it helpful to resolve the things that are troubling them.

Conclusion – what we learned

One of the reasons why so many girls fall in love with guys like this is because they firmly believe they can change them. This is because of this combination:

They are these boys, these men, who are constantly struggling with problems, which is enticing to women, since we are, so to speak, designed to be the carers and healers. They are incredibly good at playing mind games that get the person addicted just so they can leave when the bond starts to form.

Lesson: Don’t get involved unless you’re looking for drama or if you think he’s ready to start healing and [you] want to stay and help in his journey.

Take care,

Callisto

20 ways to restore trust in a relationship

The good news is that even after a devastating betrayal like cheating, trust can be rebuilt.5 Not only that, betrayal is often the catalyst for reviving a relationship that was in serious trouble long before the betrayal. Healing is a journey, but when two people are deeply committed to understanding, making amends, and recommitting, magic can happen.

Here are twenty ways to restore trust in a relationship:

1. Make a commitment

Both partners must devote 100% to the work involved in healing after betrayal. It’s a long-term investment, depending on the type of betrayal, but feeling that the relationship is worth fighting for is the commitment both partners must make.

2. Both partners take responsibility

Traitor engagement means proving to your partner that you are truly sorry and willing to work to regain trust no matter what the cost. Engaging the betrayer involves actively listening to the betrayer, as well as exploring any of their own behaviors that may have contributed to the strain on the relationship prior to the betrayal.5

3. Refine your communication style

Asking your partner open-ended questions is a great way to increase emotional closeness and rebuild trust. It encourages intimate dialogue as these questions cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”. What matters is how you express complaints. Learning how to soothe yourself can allow both the speaker and the listener to withstand the tension to process the betrayal.

4. Accept repair attempts

Rebuilding trust depends largely on deciding whether you want revenge or a relationship. After a sincere apology, international marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman that there is an increased risk of divorce when betrayed partners do not accept these repair attempts.6

5. Set a time to talk about the betrayal

It is important to set a daily time (15-20 minutes) to talk about the betrayal; Otherwise, it can be a 24/7 discussion. This allows each partner to prepare for a productive discussion and gain control over emotions that arise unexpectedly. Evaluate progress weekly to know when to reduce meeting frequency.

6. Set the time for a non-negotiable weekly marriage meeting

A weekly marriage reunion is a great ritual for strengthening a partnership. This is a special time to be honest and communicate about important issues in the relationship. Good topics of conversation are appreciation, things that went well/not well during the week (in a non-critical and non-defensive way), chores, finances, outside commitments, dating, etc.

7. Redefine new marriage rules

Having self-imposed rules can help the cheating partner feel a sense of control while rebuilding trust. Self-imposed rules are liberating because they are non-negotiable and developed together. This can include setting boundaries and daily checks to prevent problems from escalating.

8. Create a culture of appreciation

Couples who find ways to express appreciation for one another often have a better chance of repairing broken trust. This is about sharing a “we” or togetherness vs. separateness.8

9. Glorify the fight

Glorifying the struggle means expressing pride in overcoming major difficulties in your relationship. Speaking actively about your commitment to one another, rather than questioning whether you made the right choice, is critical to restoring trust.8

10. Cease all contact with the affair partner

If there is still contact with the affair partner, the recovery is greatly delayed. That means ending all physical, emotional, and verbal intimacy. If the affair partner is an employee, the contact must be of a purely business nature.4

11. Share any necessary or unplanned encounters with the affair partner

This means that there is an environment of full transparency when there is an unavoidable contact to be made with the affair partner. This goes hand in hand with a willingness to openly answer any of your partner’s questions.

12. Don’t gossip about your partner and don’t talk to others about your partner

Gossip creates additional stress, especially when the goal is to work on your relationship. It can be tempting to vent or want to, but it boils down to knowing that what you focus on expands. So choose wisely who you talk to and how you talk about your partner.

13. Tell the true story of betrayal

Telling the story of the affair isn’t easy for either partner, but it gives you and your partner a chance to understand what happened and why. It is important that the injured partner not engage in a destructive process of questioning and defense that never promotes healing, even when the answers are truthful. Instead, start by looking at the simple facts.7

14. Create an environment of proactive transparency

Our emotions can prevent us from telling the truth and hearing the truth. Transparency keeps everything open to foster trust and limit overthinking in the relationship. Proactive transparency involves extra effort to highlight important things about the betrayal without waiting to be investigated or asked. This builds trust and shows a willingness to be held accountable.8

15. Understand the power of vulnerability

By being vulnerable, you can create a level of emotional security with your partner. It is the most important way to strengthen a marital bond and keep love alive. This is how you can reestablish a secure emotional bond and maintain intimacy in your marriage. This goes hand in hand with proactive transparency.

16. Rate your questions

To ask constructive questions, the betrayed partner needs to stop and think. According to infidelity expert Dr. Talal H. Alsaleem, PsyD, LMFT, good questions include considering how your question will help to understand what happened and why it happened. The goal is to ask thoughtful questions that elicit constructive responses.9

Possible questions to ask yourself before asking your partner:

Is the answer something I really need to know?

Is the answer something that will aid in my recovery?

Is this question something that will not be helpful?

Will it fuel intrusive thoughts and triggers?

17. Rate your answers

The traitor must answer all questions truthfully, but also in as much detail as possible. The aim is to avoid disturbing images that the deceived will have to deal with later. Cheating is associated with symptoms similar to those of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), so too much graphic detail can strain the healing process.

18. Take time to forgive

It takes time to truly understand why a betrayal occurred, so interrupting the healing process will not allow for effective recovery. In other words, avoidance is never a healing strategy, nor is forgiveness too early. Building a secure bond with your partner means taking as much time as possible to fully process the relationship and working on better coping strategies to rebuild the relationship.10

19. Seek professional help

Often a couple is so overwhelmed that they don’t know where to start. This is where a couples counselor can be helpful. You can guide both the betrayed and the traitor to ask and answer questions in ways that will facilitate recovery. You can guide couples with structure and a plan of action to slow the healing process to a constructive pace.

20. Plan, plan, plan

Work together on a plan to prevent further breaches of trust. Be open to identifying areas that may have created suspicions (withholding financial information, not sharing information in your daily life, spending too much time outside of the relationship, etc.). Plan to strengthen friendship, create connection rituals, and build a new relationship.

Share on Pinterest Trust is an essential part of a strong relationship, but it doesn’t happen quickly. And once it’s broken, it’s hard to rebuild. When you think of circumstances that could cause you to lose trust in your partner, infidelity may immediately come to mind. But cheating isn’t the only way to break trust in a relationship. Other possibilities include: a pattern of breaking your word or breaking promises

Not being there for your partner in times of need

withhold or withhold something

lies or manipulation

a pattern of not sharing feelings openly

What does trust actually mean? Before we talk about how to restore trust, it’s important to understand exactly what trust is. To begin with, it might be helpful to think of trust as a choice someone has to make. You can’t get anyone to trust you. You may not decide to trust someone until they show they are worth it. Signs of Trust in a Relationship Trust can mean different things to different people. In a romantic relationship, trust can mean: You feel committed to the relationship and your partner.

You feel safe with your partner and know that they will respect physical and emotional boundaries.

You know that when you share your needs and feelings, your partner is listening.

You don’t feel the need to hide things from your partner.

You and your partner respect each other.

You can be vulnerable together.

They support each other. It is also important to understand what trust is not. In a relationship, for example, trust doesn’t necessarily mean that you tell your partner everything that’s on your mind. It’s perfectly normal to have personal thoughts that you keep to yourself. Trust also doesn’t mean giving each other access to: Bank accounts (unless it’s a joint account)

personal computers

cell phones

Social Media Accounts You might not mind sharing this information, especially in an emergency. But the presence of trust in a relationship generally means that you don’t have to check your partner. You have confidence in her and feel able to speak up about any concerns you might have.

Rebuilding Trust When You’ve Been Cheated When someone breaks your trust, you can feel hurt, shocked, and even physically ill. It might make you look at your relationship — and your partner — differently. If you want to try to restore trust, here are some good starting points. Consider the reason behind the lie or betrayal If you’ve been lied to, you may not care much about the reasons behind it. But people sometimes lie when they just don’t know what else to do. That doesn’t make their choice right, but it can help to think about how you would have reacted in their place. Sure, your partner may have cheated on you to protect themselves, but they may have had a different motive. Did they want to protect you from bad news? Making the best of a bad money situation? Help a family member? Perhaps the breach of trust resulted from a miscommunication or misunderstanding. Whatever happened, it’s important to make it clear that what they did was wrong. But knowing the reasons for their actions can help you decide if you are capable of rebuilding the trust you once shared. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate It may be painful or uncomfortable, but one of the most important parts of rebuilding trust after a betrayal is talking to your partner about the situation. Take some time to tell them clearly how the situation makes you feel

why the breach of trust hurt you

What you need from them to rebuild trust Give them a chance to talk, but be aware of their sincerity. Do they apologize and really seem to regret it? Or are they defensive and unwilling to admit their betrayal? You may feel emotional or upset during this conversation. These feelings are perfectly valid. If you feel like you’re too agitated to continue communicating in a productive way, take a break and come back to the topic later. Talking about what happened is just the beginning. It’s totally fine and totally normal if you can’t work through it all in a night or two. Practice Forgiveness When it comes to repairing a relationship after a betrayal, forgiveness is key. Not only do you need to forgive your partner, you may need to forgive yourself as well. Blaming yourself in any way for what happened can leave you stuck in self-doubt. This can affect the chances of your relationship recovering. Depending on the betrayal, it can be difficult to forgive your partner and move on. But try to remind yourself that forgiving your partner doesn’t mean that what they did was okay. Rather, you empower yourself to come to terms with what happened and leave it in the past. You also give your partner the chance to learn from their mistakes and grow from them. Avoid Dwelling in the Past Once you’ve fully discussed the betrayal, it’s generally best to end the issue. That means you don’t want to bring it up in future arguments. You should also avoid constantly checking on your partner to make sure they don’t lie to you again. It’s not always easy, especially in the beginning. You may find it difficult to let go of the betrayal and find it difficult to trust your partner, especially if you are concerned about another betrayal. But when you decide to give the relationship a second chance, you are also choosing to trust your partner again. You may not be able to fully trust them right away, but you imply that you are giving the trust a chance to grow back. If you can’t continue to think about what happened or have concerns about your partner’s future honesty or fidelity, couples counseling can help. But these signs could also indicate that you may not be ready to work on the relationship.

Restoring trust when you’ve hurt someone you screwed up. Perhaps you lied and hurt your partner, or withheld information that you thought would hurt them. Whatever the reason, you know you caused them pain and you feel terrible. You may feel like you would do anything to show them that they can trust you again. First, it is important to understand that broken trust can be irreparable. But if both of you aren’t working to fix the relationship, there are a few helpful steps you can take. Think about why you did it Before you begin the process of restoring trust, you should first check with yourself to understand why you did it. Is it possible that you wanted to end the relationship but didn’t know how? Or were there certain needs that were not met by your partner? Or was it just a silly mistake? It can be difficult to understand the motives behind your behavior, but it is a crucial part of restoring trust. Apologize Sincerely If you’ve lied, cheated, or otherwise damaged your partner’s trust in you, a sincere apology is a good way to make amends. It’s important to admit that you made a mistake. Just remember that your apology is not the right time to justify your actions or explain the situation. If some factors influenced your actions, you can always share them with your partner after apologizing and admitting your part in the situation. Be specific When apologizing, be specific to show you know what you did wrong. Use “I” statements. Avoid blaming your partner. For example, instead of “I’m sorry I hurt you,” try “I’m sorry I lied to you about where I’m going. I know I should have told you the truth and I’m sorry for causing you pain. I want you to know I’ll never do it again.” Make sure you follow up by telling them how you want to avoid making the same mistake again. If you’re not sure what they need from you to work on the relationship, you can ask. Just make sure you’re ready and willing to actively listen to their response. Give Your Partner Time Even when you’re ready to apologize, talk about what happened, and work things out, your partner may not feel ready. Coming to terms with a betrayal or a broken trust can take time. People also process things in different ways. Your partner may want to talk right away. However, it can also take days or weeks before they can address the issue with you. It’s important not to pressure them into having a discussion before they’re ready. Apologize and let your partner know you’re ready when they are. If you are struggling in the meantime, you should speak to an advisor who can provide you with unbiased and supportive advice. Let Your Needs Guide You Your partner may need space and time before they can talk about what happened. And often this can affect the physical space. This might be hard to take, but respecting your partner’s boundaries and needs can go a long way toward showing them that they can count on you again. Your partner may want more transparency and communication from you in the future. This is common after a breach of trust. You may even willingly share your phone and computer with your partner to prove your honesty. But if you’ve made some progress in healing your relationship and your partner continues to monitor your activities and communication with others, speaking to a couples counselor may help. Make a Commitment to Clear Communication Immediately after betraying your trust, answer your partner’s questions honestly and commit to being completely open with them in the future. In order to do this, you need to make sure you are clear about what level of communication they require. Let’s say you broke their trust by withholding some information that you didn’t really think was important and you didn’t understand why they felt so betrayed. This may indicate that there is a deeper problem with communication in your relationship. If you want to mend your relationship and avoid hurting your partner again in the future, you need to reach a shared understanding of what good communication looks like. Miscommunication or misunderstandings can sometimes cause as much pain as willful dishonesty. What about the details of an affair? Relationship counselors often advise against giving specific details about a sexual encounter with someone else. If you have cheated, your partner may have many questions about what exactly happened. And you might want to answer them to be transparent. But talking about the details of an encounter can cause further pain that isn’t very productive. If your partner wants details, ask them to wait until you can see a therapist together. The therapist can help you find the healthiest way to answer these questions. In the meantime, you can always answer their questions honestly without giving explicit details.

How long it will take? Being in a broken trust relationship can be extremely uncomfortable. Both sides could aim to get the whole reconstruction process over with as quickly as possible. But realistically, that takes time. How much time exactly? It depends on many factors, especially the event that broke the trust. Longstanding patterns of infidelity or dishonesty take longer to resolve. A single lie, based on a misunderstanding or a desire for protection, may be more easily addressed, especially when the partner who lied shows sincere regret and a renewed commitment to the communication. Have patience with yourself. Don’t let your partner push you. A partner who genuinely regrets hurting you may also be hurt, but if they genuinely care about you and want to make things right, they should also understand that getting back that way right away isn’t helpful how things were.

Is it worth? Rebuilding trust is no easy task. It’s normal to wonder if it’s even worth it before you decide to work on your relationship. If your partner makes a mistake or two over the course of a long relationship and owns it, working on trust issues can be the right move. As long as there is still love and bonding between the two of you, working on trust issues will only strengthen your relationship. But if you know that you can never fully trust your partner again, no matter what they do, it’s generally best to make that clear right away so the two of you can start moving forward separately. It’s also worth considering your options if you’ve discovered years of infidelity, financial dishonesty, manipulation, or other serious breaches of trust. Other red flags that might signal it’s time to throw in the towel are: continued deception or manipulation

an insincere apology

Behavior that doesn’t match their words

You don’t have to do it alone Every relationship goes through a rough patch. There’s no shame in getting help. Couples counseling can be a great resource when it comes to trust issues, especially when it comes to infidelity. A counselor can offer an unbiased view of your relationship and help both partners resolve underlying issues. Difficult conversations about betrayal and trust can also cause painful emotions on both sides. A trusted advisor can also help you deal with the difficult feelings when they arise.

Dealing with a dishonest partner can be incredibly emotionally draining. Yes, self-esteem issues can affect a relationship. A very codependent partner can also negatively affect the entire relationship. Jealousy can also quickly destroy relationships. However, nothing seems as damaging as experiencing dishonesty in a relationship that you believed was based on trust.

When you become aware that a partner is being dishonest, the initial gut punch can trigger any past traumatic events where trust was broken. Your body may experience pain, shortness of breath, and other symptoms. It’s hard to imagine, however, what applies to many, is the denial that one or both partners can cope with. Even if you manage to recognize dishonesty, how do you deal with it? What are the best ways to communicate with a partner who isn’t being honest? How can you even think about building intimacy in a relationship when the trust has been broken?

There are techniques you can use to spot dishonesty and there are ways to deal with the partner who is lying to you. While it’s always best to seek professional help and consider emotional intimacy coaching, that doesn’t mean you can’t start helping yourself.

How does dishonesty affect relationships?

It hurts to be lied to, and no amount of apology can undo the lie. As soon as your partner lies to you, it seems like a whole mountain of doubts will come crashing down on you.

But unfortunately that’s not all. Dishonesty can undermine a relationship in many ways. Not only do you feel miserable, but after a while you will inevitably start thinking about all the other things the betrayal has affected.

The trust is gone – The solid foundation of any relationship is trust. Without it, there is little to fall back on, which is why dishonesty causes such major problems in relationships. Lying hurts – It doesn’t have to mean that the partner’s intention was to hurt you by telling a lie. Still, they did it because finding out you’ve been lied to is never easy and almost always causes emotional pain. It shows disrespect – When your partner tells you the truth, no matter how difficult it may be for you to hear it, he shows that he respects you enough to be honest with you. On the other hand, if your partner is lying to you, it shows a serious lack of respect for you and your feelings. Lying is selfish – When a partner is dishonest, it shows that they are not willing to take the blame for the greater good of the relationship. Instead of stepping in and taking responsibility, they lie to selfishly save their mercy. Lies breed lies in two ways. For one thing, if their actions are not addressed, dishonest partners will continue to be dishonest. Once you notice all the lies, you will also start thinking that there is no reason for you to be honest. Always try to sort things out, but don’t change the traits of your own personality to make up for your partner’s flaws.

Can a little lie ruin a relationship?

Truthfulness should always be the top priority in a relationship. Even if the truth is uncomfortable, difficult to handle, or just plain painful, it is better than a lie. Lying can affect relationships in many negative ways, no matter how big or small they are.

For individuals raised in an unsafe environment, there may be a learned pattern of not using their voice. This pattern can lead to not wanting to tell the truth when the truth will create conflict. Later in life, a little white lie can build on more.

Even if a lie is white and harmless, you can end up feeling bad just because your partner lied to you. Also, behind every lie there may be other problems waiting to rear their heads. Therefore, you should always think twice before being dishonest.

What harmless lies can ruin a relationship?

Just because you or your partner find a lie harmless doesn’t mean it’s harmless. Every lie has great potential to damage a relationship. Here are the five most common white lies that can cause serious conflict between you and your partner:

“I’m fine” – If something is wrong, if you are angry or sad, you should tell your partner. This can lead to a serious argument that can greatly affect the current state of your relationship. “My credit is OK” – Some of the biggest arguments are about money. While money shouldn’t play such a big role in relationships, it does, and not being honest about possible financial issues can have serious consequences. “I haven’t texted my ex in a long time” – Lying about your ex is certainly a quick way to ruin a relationship. If you’ve heard from your ex, be honest and tell your partner about it. There’s no point in hiding it because if the truth inevitably comes out, it will have a far worse effect than if you were honest to begin with.

What are the 5 signs someone is lying?

Individuals who tend to be frequently dishonest tend to believe that when they lie, they have no reason to “say it.” There are some signs that the person is not telling the truth. Here are 5 signs someone is being dishonest with you – remember that someone who is just plain nervous could be showing these signs as well. Check your gut to tell if someone is lying or just nervous.

Touching Their Neck, Mouth, or Face – If you notice a person excessively touching their body while talking to you, especially if they don’t usually, you could be listening to a lie. You repeat yourself – If a person inexplicably starts stammering or repeating words and phrases while talking to you, it shows that they are not sure what to say next. While that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re lying — maybe they’re just nervous, but if they’re not acting normally, that’s a red flag. You make nervous pauses – When you ask a dishonest person a question, they usually pause before giving you an answer, giving themselves the time to construct a dishonest answer. They look at the door – When a person is uncomfortable in a certain situation, their instinct begins to tell them to leave. If you notice them looking towards the door, it could mean that they are desperately trying to escape the awkward situation of lying to you. You don’t blink – blinking is a reflex. So if you notice a person making eye contact with you without blinking, it may mean they are lying so eagerly that they are actually trying to fake truthful behavior.

How do you deal with a liar in a relationship?

If you find that your partner has lied to you, the only course of action is to confront them. Allowing dishonesty to linger can be more detrimental to your mental health while giving your partner space to go on with their usual routine. Here’s how to confront a dishonest partner: Confront your partner in private This is an uncomfortable topic for both of you, so you don’t have to do it in front of other people unless you have reason to believe that in a confrontation you might not sure are your partner. Give Your Partner a Chance to Explain the Lie Sometimes all it takes for your partner to confess, apologize, and promise that such behavior will not happen again. Keep Calm Don’t let your emotions run wild because that could provoke a bad reaction from your partner. While you have every right to be angry, try not to show it at first – stay curious so you can get the information you’re looking for. Show Your Partner the Evidence If your partner is unwilling to admit what they did, show them the evidence that clearly points to the lies, if you have any. Explain lost trust. Tell your partner how the lies make you feel. Let them know how their lying has negatively impacted your relationship and happiness, and you won’t move on unless they get help. Suggest Relationship Workshop When you are ready to continue working on your relationship, you should suggest relationship coaching to your partner. Nobody can help you as much as qualified professionals.

Join PIVOT Emotional Intimacy Coaching and nurture your relationship

It’s never easy to be lied to. Realizing the emotional trauma that your partner was dishonest is difficult to deal with alone, and even more so when you want to salvage the relationship. Lying can be extremely damaging, but there are relationships that come out all the stronger. However, if you really want to work on it with your partner, you should consider hiring an experienced relationships attorney.

At PIVOT we know how emotionally traumatizing dealing with dishonesty can be, which is why we organize relationship workshops and retreats as well as individual coaching sessions together with our team of experienced lawyers. Contact us today and let the healing begin.