Changing Profile Picture After Breakup? The 88 Latest Answer

Getting over a breakup is usually easier said than done. We know we need to move on, but we don’t know how to do it or where to start, so let’s start with the step that makes the most sense: remove all memories of the person, the most tangible of which are usually the pictures we have of them.

Before cell phones started doing a dual job as memory collectors — allowing us to record and photograph precious life moments — taking photos was a lot less harmless. We actually had to buy at least one disposable camera, then take it to a store to have the images developed, then pick them up and finally find frames for them.

Now our pictures are stored on our phones — using the same device we take them with — in the cloud and, when the relationship was particularly important, on our social media accounts. Because of this, taking photos is no longer that easy, and the question of whether we should keep photos of our ex depends entirely on the context.

Here are three suggestions if and when we should delete our ex lovers pictures.

Instagram and Facebook

Have you been in one of those relationships where you took a couple selfie and made it your new Facebook profile picture? Have you felt the need to post a picture of your former cutie cake every Monday or Wednesday for the weekly Instagram celebration that is Man Crush Monday (#MCM) and Woman Crush Wednesday (#WCW)?

Now that it’s over, it probably seems like those were stupid ideas, but just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean those memories are bad. There’s something petty – and even more saddening – about someone taking pictures the second things stop working in IRL. Also, deleting those photos from Facebook and Instagram will not make you feel any better.

Instead, keep them there and treat them the same way you would treat any other pictures you post of your life’s journey—they were good times and you wanted to share them. Plus, social media is fluid, which means you can keep posting new pictures — including those of your hot new single self. Before you know it, those old pictures of your ex, much like the ex, will be a thing of the past.

Framed pictures

Don’t waste time – take these pictures down as soon as possible. But if they’re in nice frames, you might just want to take the photos out and keep the frames for snaps of your future ex. If you’re the sentimental type, feel free to keep the printed copies of the photos in a shoebox or something similar. But of all the pictures that should come down, those that have served a double function as decoration must be removed from your shelves and walls.

hard disk

If you’re the type of guy who hoards outtakes and other images on your phone or computer, go ahead and delete them – there’s no point in leaving them on your device and eating up precious storage space. After all, you probably need to make room for all the sad music you’ll be playing as you get over the end of the relationship. Throw in some breakup jams, pour some wine, and let the soothing “whoosh” of files being deleted soothe your nerves.

Breakups can be one of life’s toughest experiences, especially when you’re the person being left. It can really register in one’s mind as a loss that can bring a lot of heartache. If you’ve experienced a breakup, you may feel urges to harbor feelings of betrayal or disregard. A breakup can challenge a lot of things for most people, things like their worth, attractiveness, and overall self-image. It is important that this loss is not internalized or projected as it is your fault, although it was probably not your fault. By adhering to the no contact rule, a person could manifest their ex back without having to go through the various stages of grief.

Sometimes people break up with their significant other simply out of frustration. It may not even be that they don’t want you anymore. They honestly couldn’t know how to deal with overwhelming emotions. Therefore, escaping seems like the easier option for them. Nevertheless, this is not yet acceptable. A person who claims to appreciate you should be able to communicate their feelings effectively, or at least ask for time to gather their thoughts.

In other scenarios, a person may not yet realize your worth. Or they feel like you will always be an option for them to go back to. This is essentially the point of the no contact rule. Some people may be wondering, “No contact working?”. Although every ex is different, the no contact rule increases the likelihood that your ex will miss you and want to come back. Essentially, it will show them that you are not available to them whenever they want you and that you have your own life to live. This independence will likely ignite a fire among them and make them want you even more.

How does no contact work?

The 30-day no contact rule requires you to stay out of contact with your ex. This means that you cannot answer or send text calls or phone calls to your ex. This disconnect and radio silence can last anywhere from 30 days, 60 days, or a few weeks without contact with your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. If you are away from your ex for a long time, they will miss your presence and long to hear your voice. If an ex contacts you before the 30-day no-contact rule is up, you should still not break the no-contact cold turkey. This could give them the impression that you are always available, even if they decide to leave you. By not being in a hurry to communicate with them, it sends a clear message that you are choosing to spend time doing other things and that you are your top priority.

Should I call my ex?

no As much as it hurts not to communicate with your ex, it’s important not to break this no-contact rule. As time goes by when you don’t talk to your ex, you might feel a little discouraged about whether it’s working or not. You may be thinking in your head, “No contact working?”. However, you should not harbor these doubts. Your ex will probably wonder why you haven’t reached out to them yet and may start to regret their decision. So be strong and hold on while you can.

How to deal with:

Going without contact with an ex can add to the pain of dealing with the initial breakup. Every morsel of your being can be convinced that you should reach or reply to a message or take that call. However, the no-contact rule is all about making a statement. This statement and precedent being set shows others that you value yourself very much. Despite this, it’s still natural to crave attention and lust after your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. To make this process a little bit easier, limit yourself to any interaction with your ex. This includes not obsessing over them. Some people have a habit of stalking their ex’s social media page to see what they’re up to. This secret surveillance can only add to your sense of missing her and also add to resentment. So it’s probably best for you to take a break from social media. Seeing pictures of them online could probably trigger old emotions and nostalgia.

You can also delete pictures you have of them to stop you scrolling through the “good old days”. It’s like opening an old wound while it tries to heal. Therefore, it is best for you to focus only on yourself during this process. This might be easier for those in long distance relationships as they are very unlikely to meet their ex. For those whose ex lives in their neighborhood, you should probably find other businesses to visit to avoid meeting your ex. This gives you the opportunity to broaden your horizons, visit new places and meet new people.

Speaking of new people, another way to deal with this is to date someone new. Just because things aren’t working out with someone else doesn’t mean you’re not wanted. You don’t have to date with the intention of entering into another relationship. However, they meet to simply enjoy someone else’s company and have fun! You still owe it to yourself to live your life. That’s why it’s a perfect time to pursue new hobbies and focus on your personal goals. The more you focus on yourself, the easier it becomes to successfully break the no contact rule.

Does no contact work after a breakup?

Does No Contact Work After You and Your Ex Breakup? Well, the answer is that this varies from person to person. However, it shows the other party that you are not ready to be the pursuer in this scenario. This can frustrate the other person, who may have been expecting you to chase them, to the point where they start chasing you. It may take a little longer for the person to come right back after a breakup if they have high hopes that you’ll be the first to reach out. Then it becomes a waiting game. However, you don’t have to attend or wait for them to contact you. You should intentionally give them more time before responding to them.

Does he miss me when there is no contact?

Your absence will speak volumes as your ex faces the reality of their decision to break up with you. Some people break up because they feel like you’re a convenience to them since you seem like they’re always available. If you’ve broken up with this person in the past, they may see a pattern in your willingness to accept them back. Some people subconsciously take love or forgiveness for granted. If you don’t communicate with your ex, they will miss you even more because it’s like going off the grid. Suddenly, they realize that they can’t come back into your life as easily as before, which will make them appreciate your presence and contribution to the relationship that much more. Unfortunately, some people don’t see what they have until it’s gone, or at least looks like it.

Signs that the 30-day no-contact rule is working

If you’re wondering whether or not the no contact rule is working, then there are some telltale signs to look out for. Your ex might start acting differently towards you, or you might find out from mutual friends that they miss you. Here are some things to look out for to know if the no contact rule is working and if your ex is missing you.

1.) Obsessive

You get dozens of text messages from your ex wondering what you’re up to and if the two of you can talk. They might send you a long paragraph expressing their deepest feelings and desires for you. Obsessive behavior can also occur online if you have a social media account. You may subscribe one day and find that they like all your recent pictures. Or you may also get frequent back-to-back calls from them, with voice messages insisting on working things out.

2.) Fear

They can be a bit more moderate in communication when they approach you. This shows that they get the message and value you more. If they seem to walk on eggshells when it comes to communicating, it’s because they don’t want to miss an opportunity with you and want to play it safe. They’re afraid of losing you again. Fear can also cause them to rush back to you as over time they can see you entertaining other suitors.

3.) Sincerity

Your ex will be more open about their feelings. You don’t have to strain yourself to get information out of them. They will be willing to let you get closer.

4.) Reciprocity

Because they value you more, they will make sure they reciprocate the time and energy you give them. You see that you are not co-dependent, nor are you willing to overwhelm yourself with them. So now they face the situation and make sure the relationship is give and take.

Need help with your ex? Contact me for one to one coaching or check out this online course The No Contact Contract.

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8 Social Media Hints That The Girl You Like Is Single

There is a saying among men that all great girls are always taken. Many men have crushes on women who already have boyfriends and this is a source of great frustration. An amazing catch will have many other guys who want to be with her and therefore will almost always be in a relationship. Unless they’re in the “I just want to be single and free” state of mind that deserves the utmost respect. Do not forget that. Respect this stage in everyone’s life.

How do you find out if a girl is single without being upfront and letting everyone know you’re going to be dating? Here are 8 signs that will help you figure it out.

8. She’s starting to change her profile picture more often

A girl in a relationship rarely changes her profile picture and when she does it is often a picture of her and her man. A recently single girl will change her profile picture quite often. It’s not that she’s trying to get people’s attention – she’s just trying to re-establish within herself that she has an identity outside of her previous relationship.

7. She unblocks her Instagram

Usually a girl keeps her Instagram locked either to protect her privacy or not to upset her boyfriend. Now that she is single, she wants to open up more to the world and even to new people.

6. She starts sharing many posts from the Berlin-artparasites Facebook page

You’ve seen this many times. As in, a lot. I’m not saying ALL the posts in this group are about what people are looking for in partners or relationships, or about being alone. What I’m saying is that it’s very common.

By reposting from this page, she may be subconsciously telling people what she’s looking for.

5. She posts very loaded tweets

Why are girls like “Oh it’s December I need a boyfriend to keep me warm” no you can buy a coat like the rest of the singles — Typical White Girl (@TypicalGirI) September 3, 2013

From passive-aggressive tweets to downright funny but self-deprecating ones. Any person with a girlfriend who recently broke up will often see this on their feed. There is nothing wrong with that as posting on social media has been found to be therapeutic for people. This is also an excellent measure of their current state of overcoming the relationship. So if the tweets are angry, back off. For now.

4. You unexpectedly see her profile on Tinder

Many singles long for that one person they like and are realistic enough to know they might not stand a chance, so try to keep their options open by exploring social media dating like Tinder. There may be a point where you mindlessly swipe prospects away when you come across their Tinder profile. Girls in relationships very rarely have accounts on dating sites. They will even go out of their way to delete their profile. When you see the profile of the one you like on Tinder, that’s confirmation right there.

Now the next important question is, do you swipe right or just leave it there on their profile?

3. She shares pictures and posts about relationships

9gags. Reddit. buzz feed. thought catalogue. elite daily. These sites do a lot of pictures or posts about relationships, mostly related to goals or their downsides. If the girl you like is single, you will see a lot of them. Sometimes she actually throws in a caption. Something like “HAHAHA”, “Yes!”, “THAT!” or the scariest: “When will I ever get something like that?”

However, any girl sharing EVERYTHING from Elite Daily and Thought Catalog should be avoided at all costs.

2. She posts a lot of pictures of her reinvention

If she posts a lot of pictures of herself playing with her hair or trying on different clothes and asking everyone for recommendations, it’s definitely a very loud signal that she’s single. A girl in a relationship could just ask her boyfriend or send a private group message to all her friends to get an opinion. When she does it so publicly, she is indirectly telling people that she is free and wants to meet new people.

1. She starts posting about traveling alone

This is probably the most obvious sign. She will post lots of pictures of herself doing things by herself, usually activities done by a couple, like going out to eat, going on trips, or other couple-related things. You know what we mean. There will always be either a caption about how awesome it is to do it alone or cryptic hashtags like #happiness #thisisreal #whydidiwaitsolongtodothis.

Well, mind you, these characters are only about 85-90% accurate. Just remember two things: first, never assume that you’re the only one trying to find out if she’s single; If she’s as great as you think there will be other guys who will be interested too. Second, if you feel like she’s not ready or still enjoying being single, leave her alone.

What are your other telltale signs on social media that a girl is single? Leave a comment and share it with us!

It turns out the old “a picture is worth a thousand words” cliché is true, at least when it comes to your Facebook profile picture. A University of Pennsylvania study reveals what your Facebook profile picture says about you and your personality. Are you extraverted, conscientious or neurotic? It turns out that — just like the Magic 8 Ball — your social media profile picture knows everything.

“Extraverts enjoy interacting with others, have high group visibility, and are perceived as energetic. This could lead to extraverts using profile pictures involving other people or where they express more positive emotions,” said the study, titled Analyzing Personality through Social Media Profile Picture Choice. “Users who are high in conscientiousness tend to be more orderly and prefer planned behaviors. This could result in users conforming to norms expected from a profile picture, e.g. B. a frontal photo of yourself.”

The study analyzes a wide range of interpretable image characteristics of profile pictures such as colors, aesthetics, facial presentation and emotions. By working with these traits, the researchers uncovered their relationships to personality attributes from the Big Five model of personality traits – extraversion, agreeableness, openness, conscientiousness, and neuroticism.

Using a large sample of more than 60,000 people and existing state-of-the-art text prediction methods, the study attempts to present a psychological profiling technique that will help users better match their images to their online persona, which in person feels a little like the spooky season 3 premiere by Black Mirror.

“Conversely, users with high openness to experience may be more likely to choose unconventional imagery and poses, as these types of people exhibit a general inclination towards art and novelty,” the study states. “Neuroticism is associated with negative emotions, which may also be reflected in users’ choice of profile pictures.”

The researchers chose to focus their efforts on studying profile pictures because they reflect the impressions we want to convey to others. And if you think you can fool people into thinking you’re easygoing when you’re actually neurotic, then I have bad news. You can not.

“Although social media allows a user to shape their own personality and idealized outlook (the ‘idealized virtual identity hypothesis’), evidence shows that social media behavior is usually an extension of one’s self (the ‘extended real life hypothesis’), ‘ claim researchers of the study, adding that algorithms are able to correctly assess the personality of users 65 percent of the time. The good news is that you still have a 35 percent chance of fooling us.

Here’s the quick and dirty question of what your Facebook profile picture says about your personality. According to a study:

Conscientiousness is the personality trait associated with order, planned behavior, and self-discipline. Conscientious people choose colorful, natural and bright images in which they appear smiling and generally happy. Extraversion is a trait characterized by exposure to the outside world. Extraverts often choose a sharp, colorful profile picture that includes several young-looking people who don’t generally wear glasses (which is associated with introverts). Agreeableness is characterized by social harmony and cooperation. Pleasant people choose soft, cluttered, less aesthetically pleasing images than their counterparts, even though they show positive emotions like joy. Neuroticism is associated with experiencing negative emotions and emotional instability, and thus neurotic people generally display plain, uncolored images of negative color emotions. Facial expressions often lack frankness and include glasses, although neurotic people often choose profile pictures with no visible faces. Openness is broken down into the sub-traits Intellect and Openness to Experience. Open-minded people tend to choose appealing, if less colorful, images with increased contrast, sharpness, saturation, and less blur. Additionally, open-minded people tend to show a wider range of emotions in their profile pictures.

The University of Pennsylvania study concludes that open or neurotic users tend to post fewer photos of people and tend not to express positive emotions when people are present, although the aesthetic quality of the photos is higher when open and lower when neurotic.

Conscientious, pleasant and extraverted users generally prefer pictures with at least one face and conveying positive emotions through their facial expressions, but conscientious users seem to stick to the rules and post the general definition of a profile picture: pictures of a face that expresses of all characteristics the most positive emotion.

Now that you know who you are (I’m neurotic), is your trait the most or least likely to attract friends? Another study from York University in Toronto found that people are more interested in being friends with those whose pictures showed open eyes, an oval face, a smile and brown hair, according to the Washington Post. Also, people interpreted those who wore sweaters as more approachable – maybe it reminds them of Mister Rogers.

People with a neutral or negative facial expression, black or short hair, and a hat or sunglasses were less attracted, variables that account for introversion, neuroticism, and unsympathy.

If you’re not thrilled with your trait, now that you understand the algorithm, you can consciously buck the trend because why should Facebook know everything about you?

Amy Chan, a former relationship advice columnist, felt lost when her eight-year relationship suddenly ended after her partner cheated on her.

She ended up rediscovering herself and writing Breakup Bootcamp, which offers advice based on her experience, the experiences of her newly single clients, and research on relationships.

Chan said she’s 100% in favor of deleting all trace of your ex from social media after a breakup because it helps your brain heal.

She suggested telling your ex about your plan in advance so he doesn’t think you have ill will or did something wrong.

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In our social media age, breaking up with an ex and moving on is not easy. After the relationship ends, you likely have a shared archive of memories on Facebook and Instagram, and unless you unfriend your ex, you’ll see them pop up in your feed at the worst times.

That’s why Amy Chan, a relationship advice columnist for more than a decade and author of Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart, thinks it’s always a good idea to delete your ex from all of your social media .

Chan drew on her own experience of a tough breakup, her work with hundreds of clients who attended her seven-day Renew Breakup Bootcamp retreat, and psychological and neuroscience research into how the brain and body respond to relationship breakups.

“One hundred percent detox from your ex,” Chan, who wrote her book after her boyfriend of eight cheated on her and ended their relationship, told Insider.

“And it’s not because they’re a bad person. Detoxing from your ex doesn’t mean you hate the person or it ended in a bad relationship. It also doesn’t mean you can’t be friends in the future, but it does take some time for your mind, body, heart and soul to transition from one intimate or romantic relationship to something else,” she said.

Deleting your ex can help your brain get out of the relationship

Even if you’re not mad at a past lover, getting him out of your social media feeds and out of your head is the best way to train your brain to move forward, Chan said.

When you are in a relationship with a friend, lover, or someone else, your brain forms neural pathways that are linked to memories you had with that person. When they disappear from your life due to a breakup, your brain creates a breakup response that evokes heartbreak, sadness, and grief, according to a 2015 Nature journal blog.

Chan pored over research studies, chatted with psychologists, and analyzed the results of hundreds of participants from her breakup boot camp retreat. In doing so, she concluded that images, videos, and other memories of that person popping up on social media could remind your brain of that loss and make it harder to “cut away” the neural pathways you’ve built up over the months ‘ or years you were together.

But removing memories of your ex by deleting photos from your phone and profile together and blocking them on all social media accounts can give your brain a breather so it builds new neural pathways and essentially rewires itself to To help you heal from the breakup.

Chan suggested taking at least 30 days to detox after seeing his ex on social media, but said 60 days is ideal.

You can give your ex a heads up

If you’re worried about how your ex might react when you find out you’ve blocked them, Chan recommends letting them know about your plan beforehand.

She suggested saying something like, “Hey, it’s not that I don’t care about you or that I have bad feelings for you, but I need this time to heal, to take care of myself and take care of myself to focus my self-care For the next 60 days I will remove you from social media and no longer be in touch. Please respect my wishes.”

Once you and your partner decide to go your separate ways, figuring out what to do with your relationship memories — both physical and digital — can be quite a dilemma. Should you make a campfire and burn everything? Are you doing an Instagram clean? Or maybe just tuck them away in case you want to reminisce? The importance of the relationship and the reasons why you decided to end things are two of the most common factors to consider when discussing whether to delete the photos you have with your ex or not Not.

If you were both college buddies who had plans to spend your life together, but the timing or circumstances that drew you apart were beyond your control, the thought of digitally erasing them from your past might be something feel too hard. After all, pictures are about preserving memories. On the other hand, if things ended on bad terms due to infidelity or some other form of recklessness, sticking with photos could definitely delay your recovery period from the breakup.

To get a better idea of ​​when it’s okay to keep pictures of an ex and when it’s not, Elite Daily spoke to dating and etiquette expert April Masini of the Relationship Advice Forum.

If you’re the one who left

If you’re the one who decided to put an end to things and there’s no bad blood between the two of you, then Masini says there’s nothing wrong with archiving the pictures of you and an old lover. But it’s still a good idea to think twice about displaying them openly.

“You shouldn’t put them front and center — don’t have them prominently on your social media pages or in frames on your dresser or bedside table,” Masini suggests.

If your new partner is a little unsure

Assuming you’ve moved in with someone new, chances are your new sweetheart isn’t thrilled that you still have pictures lying around with an ex. They can even find it a bit menacing, especially when they’re a little insecure.

“If the pictures you have of your ex make a new partner uncomfortable, throw them out. Your future is more important than your past,” says Masini.

However, at the end of the day, remember what you do with your past is up to you. If you want to be sensitive to your new partner’s feelings regarding photos with your ex, then that’s fine. But if you feel uncomfortable deleting those photos, let your partner know.

If you try to play the field

“Having pictures of your ex on social media and in your house signals that you’re not serious about dating someone else because your heart is still with your ex,” says Masini.

If you’re just playing on the field and want to keep things as casual as possible, then this might be the exact message you want to send out to let people know you’re not ready for another big signing just yet.

If you’re having trouble moving on

If you’re struggling to move on after a breakup, you should definitely keep the evidence photo as far away from you as possible.

“If you have your ex around – even if only in pictures – always think of that person when you see these photos. And that makes it a lot harder to get over the pain of a breakup,” Masini explains. She goes on to say that while destroying or permanently deleting the photos may not be necessary, you should keep them in a place where you can’t readily view them so you don’t face constant emotional pain.

Ultimately, the ball is entirely up to you when it comes to how to handle pictures of you and your ex. But if their presence is negatively affecting your healing process or upsetting a current partner, then it’s best to put the past in the past for now.

This post was originally published on December 11, 2017. It was updated on August 19, 2019.

Delete or not delete?

If you still have photos of you and your ex on social media and haven’t thought to remove them, no big deal. After all, they are part of your past that arguably shaped you into the person you are today, blah blah blah.

And whether the photos are still there or have been removed often has a lot to do with whether the breakup was amicable, right?

Although for some people, a breakup is literally the first thing they do.

Take Selena Gomez and The Weeknd, for example. We crossed our fingers and thought their relationship had long-term potential, but after just ten months of dating, things fell apart and they both started deleting posts from the two faster than I untagged myself from an ugly photo.

And then others only delete the photos or posts if Facebook happens to decide to display them as reminders on their timelines.

READ MORE: Why You Shouldn’t Share These 6 Things About Your Relationship With Others

However, when it comes to your partner, they may worry that not taking the time to remove them means you still remember your distant past, or worse, that you still do have feelings for your ex

Or is the bottom line that they are insecure and setting a little red flag? Or, just maybe, her request is perfectly justified.

Yes, they were once a part of your life journey, so you may not be okay with them “disappearing” entirely. These are your memories and you have a right to them.

It really isn’t a big deal and shouldn’t be a problem, says Louis Venter, intense relationship specialist and founder of Couple’s Help.

…couldn’t hurt to delete it for their sanity and sense of belonging.

“We meet at a point in our lives and we accept everything about each other, including our past experiences.

“So I think it’s very unreasonable for a partner to want to ‘erase’ their partner’s past,” adds Venter.

However, Venter also goes on to say that there may be a time when it is probably best to consider your partner’s request or discomfort.

“I know some partners struggle with trust issues and anxiety. If a partner asks for images to be removed, I don’t think there’s any harm in deleting them for the sake of sanity and a sense of belonging.

“If I love someone, I would make their journey with me as smooth as possible, even if it means deleting pictures of my ex-partner. After all, it’s an ex and shouldn’t be a problem,” he adds.

Is it something worth arguing about? Certainly not, explains Venter.

“It’s not something that should end a relationship before it even begins. Communicate your needs and feelings to each other. It becomes problematic when one unconsciously controls and the other does not feel important enough.

“Cease the blame and shame and communicate your thoughts, needs, and desires with love and kindness.”

READ MORE: 5 reasons why the ‘honeymoon phase’ is actually the worst

We asked readers to share their thoughts, and interestingly, many had conflicting opinions on the subject.

You shouldn’t have to delete photos because that was once a part of your life that you can’t delete. However, I personally delete the photos from my previous relationship when they pop up in my memories – but that’s my personal preference. It’s only insensitive if they’re very recent or you’re still interacting with the images, for example by sharing them. It would take me days to get rid of all my photos with my exes; I’ve had Facebook since 2012. Anonymous

I am divorced so it will be a bit difficult as I have kids with social media accounts. I have family photos and couple photos and then photos of him and the kids on Facebook. It was a part of my life that happened and I loved it. And the parts I didn’t love are still a testament to strength and endurance. He is happily remarried and I am in a relationship. I’m not emotionally attached to my ex, but my kids can look at these photos as a reminder of when we were one and loved each other and them. I think it’s healthy not to want to erase the past. It is what it is and cannot be undone. Having pictures neither adds nor takes away from the timeline that is your life. Fazlin Hendricks

Photos are memories that shape us. I never post my “cherished” photos on social media, so I never have to worry about it. I keep it on my computer so no one will see it. To answer, flaunting it is insensitive. Would you print it out and hang it on your wall at home for your current partner, visitors, family and friends to see? I guess not. Anonymous

No, it’s not insensitive at all if you haven’t deleted the photos. If your new partner has a problem with that, then they need to deal with it. Everyone has a past and had previous partners. That is reality. Tracy McWilliams

I usually set all photos of my ex and I together so that they are only visible to me, and I would delete most photos of just him. But I could take a group photo there if it was a great occasion with friends. I think nobody wants to look at old photos of their partner with their ex. Anonymous

To be honest I delete mine when they come up as memories. I won’t go through hundreds of pictures to delete them, but I have no reason to keep pictures of my ex and me. If it’s a photo of me somewhere we’ve been together, like on a road trip, I keep it, but if it’s him in the photo, I delete it. I don’t need reminders of a toxic relationship. Emil Walker

We suspect it boils down to this: you might not feel a dark cloud of misery as you see these photos, but it would be nice to be considerate of your S/O. If you care about your relationship, ask yourself: is it really worth fighting over?

Do you find it insensitive if your partner doesn’t remove photos of their ex from social media? Let us know here.

WATCH: Why you should delete pictures of your ex-boyfriends

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My friend still has his ex-girlfriend’s photos

Question:

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for more than 3 years. He still has his ex’s photos and refuses to remove them. They were together for 5 years. He says he has no feeling for her or her pictures, but these photos need to be saved because they are his memories and remind him of his past. He also mentions that I’ll never see them, but maybe in 20 years or so we’ll watch them together and have a laugh. I say why should he have those photos of him holding, hugging, or kissing, or their portraits. I can not understand. Please help me…

This disclaimer applies to the following response. dr Schwartz answers questions about psychotherapy and mental health issues from the perspective of his clinical psychology training.

dr Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information for the readership of this site; The answers should not be construed as specific advice for any particular person.

to the readership of this website; The answers should not be construed as specific advice for any particular person. Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive any answers.

There is no correspondence.

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Answers:

I honestly can’t understand it either. I know you are not alone with this problem. Some people actually keep in touch with their ex lovers through Facebook, phone and even meet ups. Research shows that these behaviors weaken relationships and lead to their destruction.

What you need to understand is that there is nothing wrong with you. Everyone has previous relationships. However, for lovers to trust and trust each other, they need to know that the past is over and done with. How can you be confident about your boyfriend when he’s sticking to photos of his ex-girlfriend? You can not.

Sometimes people keep old photos or keep in touch with their ex because they are unhappy with their current lover. It’s usually the most recent ex that catches her eye. There’s an old saying that you should never get involved with someone who is recovering from a failed relationship. In other cases, people cannot let go of the feelings they had for their former lover. This does not bode well for the success of the next relationship.

As painful as this is, you may have to let your friend choose between you or the pictures. I doubt you’ll ever look back at the photos with a laugh in the future. It’s no laughing matter.

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Coming to terms with a breakup can be an ongoing and painful process. Unfortunately, sooner or later the relationship has to be let go in order to break away from an ex completely. For some people, part of the detachment process is deleting all traces of them from social media, but that’s easier said than done. If you can’t bring yourself to delete photos of your ex, or you’re wondering, should I delete photos of my ex?, the first thing to do is know that you’re not alone. Digitally erasing an ex from your past is far from easy, especially when the relationship was particularly momentous.

“Getting over a breakup is hard enough on its own,” NYC-based relationship expert and love coach Susan Winter tells Elite Daily. “Erasing your past adds another layer of uneasiness to the process. Not surprisingly, according to Dr. Gary Brown, a celebrity dating and relationship therapist in Los Angeles, it’s perfectly normal to struggle to erase any trace of an ex from your life. “It’s perfectly normal to have a bit of trouble deleting pictures of your ex,” says Dr. Brown to Elite Daily. “One of the obvious reasons is that acknowledging the end of your relationship is another step.”

You should delete pictures of your ex if you are having trouble moving on

Catherine Falls Advertisement/Moment/Getty Images

If you’re wondering whether to delete pictures of your ex, consider this: “The frequent memories of the person [and] the tracing of their life keep us from grieving the loss of the relationship,” explains clinical psychologist Dr. Joshua Klapow, Ph.D. “The result is being stuck between being together and moving forward.”

As hard as it may be to completely cut the umbilical cord, avoiding it in the hopes that you and your partner will reunite in the future could set you up for a much longer and more difficult recovery.

“[Deleting photos of an ex] can be even harder if you’re holding onto hope that the two of you can get back together,” agrees Dr. Brown to. “It could also mean that you’re unintentionally setting yourself up for even more emotional pain, like prolonged sadness and even depression.”

You should delete pictures of your ex if it makes you feel worse

Both Winter and Dr. Brown believe there are definitely some situations where keeping pictures of an ex is perfectly fine, with one caveat. “Every time you see a picture of your ex, ask yourself this question: Do I feel better when I see the picture, or do I feel worse when I see his picture?” recommends Dr. Brown. “The answer to that may be the key to answering the question of whether or not to delete the images.”

Not everyone is negatively influenced by sticking to photos of previous partners. For some people, keeping pictures of an ex can actually give them a positive boost and bring back fond memories. If seeing your ex’s face doesn’t particularly bother you, Winter says it’s perfectly fine to assume it.

For example, “I recently met a woman who was happy to show me photos of her former lovers,” says Winter. “Rather than feel sadness at the end of a relationship, she chose to pivot her story around ‘desirability.’ As in: “Look at the kind of men I attract.” It’s a different angle of interpretation for a different type of individual.”

Ultimately, both Winter and Dr. Brown agrees that it’s important to minimize your exposure when it comes to photos or anything else that reminds you of your ex (even posting it on social media) if it makes you feel bad. That said, if you feel like you can heal without completely disconnecting, then that’s totally valid too. “Photos are tangible evidence of happier times,” Winter explains. “That can be an important reality to remember in the dark days after the breakup.”

You should delete the pictures if you’re tempted to keep an eye on your ex’s social media

Martin-dm/E+/Getty Images

You should also consider whether keeping photos of your ex on your page is a goal to keep an eye on his social media presence as well. “If you’re checking your activity several times a week, then you’re probably engaged in an unhealthy pattern of behavior that’s preventing you from moving forward with your life,” emphasizes Dr. Kaplow. “False hope, obsession, wanting to stay relevant in their lives are all the deeper, more honest answers. It’s hard to get over an ex, but staying connected on social media only prolongs the transition period.”

If you’re still unsure which decision is best for you, Dr. Brown encourages people to face the situation honestly. “It’s time to let go of everything that connects you to your past love if you’re going to stay at home and skim over pictures of them or memorabilia that remind you of them,” he says. “If you find yourself in this situation after more than a week to 10 days, it’s time to do something to avoid falling into a deep depression.”

Healing from a breakup can get a lot out of someone, so try to remember that there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. Someday it will get better. In the meantime, try not to let your aching heart convince you to give up on love. And in the end, if images are what stands between you and your progress, then it’s probably time to let them go.

Experts:

dr Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Susan Winter, relationship expert and love coach

dr Gary Brown, dating and relationship therapist

Hi all, I have something on my mind that I hope you can help me with.

I’ve been with my current girlfriend for about 9 months now, I’m 20, she’s 25.

A few months ago she was cleaning her room and I noticed some photos of her with her ex boyfriend of 3 years. I didn’t say anything to her at the time, but the photos have stuck in my mind for some reason ever since. Today I decided to ask her about it, I asked her if she still had pictures of her ex and she said yes, then I asked why and she said because of the memories and that she does this part don’t want to throw away their life. Still sounds weird to me as I can’t figure out why anyone would want to keep photos of an ex boyfriend when 1…you are dating someone else and 2…the ex left them. She then got mad that I kept asking her why she kept them and told me to fuck off.

I have since texted her and said I’m sorry for asking about the photos but I can’t understand why she has them and that she wouldn’t be too happy if she were me. She replied and said that I don’t have to worry, nothing will come between us and that she loves me.

Even so, it plays in my mind that she still has pictures of her ex-boyfriend, does anyone think I’m stupid? and could anyone give me some advice because i know for sure i don’t want and don’t want to keep pictures of exes once in a new relationship especially not 9 months into it.

Thanks very much!

0

In this video, Coach Lee explains why your ex is keeping quiet after breaking up with you.

Be sure to watch the video in full.

Your understanding and application will be critical as you reattract your ex, so it’s important that you take your time on this page and absorb all of the information that Coach Lee provides.

Didn’t hear from your ex after the breakup?

If your ex hasn’t contacted you after the breakup and you’re wondering what that means, this post should help you.

Coach Lee explains several reasons why your ex isn’t reaching out right now in the video above and in this post.

Get Your Ex Back With Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit!

Take the time to read (and watch).

Don’t just skim the titles, it’s important to reinforce what you’ve learned.

If it can help you get your ex back, don’t skip anything that might be important to the process!

If you haven’t heard from your ex after he/she broke up with you, it shouldn’t surprise you.

Why?

Because when your ex broke up with you, that’s exactly what he wanted to do.

That doesn’t mean they were 100% sure they wanted you out of their lives.

It just means that the majority of their heart felt like there was no future with you.

This was mainly felt because the attraction to you had diminished.

That is why there are separations.

Get Your Ex Back With Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit!

That’s the bad news, but you probably already knew that to some extent.

You already knew your ex’s heart wasn’t where you wanted it to be or they wouldn’t have broken up with you.

So your ex is not contacting you right now for a few different possibilities:

First, your ex is still going through the relief phase that usually follows breaking up with you (see my post “Phases Your Ex Goes Through While Out of Contact”).

Second, your ex is hurting and missing you but won’t step in again because he doesn’t trust himself.

In other words, your ex broke up with you but misses you now and wants you back but doesn’t want to continue with you if his feelings change again.

So he/she waits to see how he/she feels in the coming days/weeks/months to avoid making a potentially bad decision.

Third, your ex is doubting his/her decision to break up with you, but thinks some distance and time from each other would be best for now.

I want you to conclude from these three possibilities I’ve mentioned (which aren’t the only possibilities) that just because you’re not hearing from your ex right now doesn’t necessarily mean the end of your chances of getting back together /She.

Just because you haven’t heard from your ex doesn’t mean your ex is living happily ever after without you, convinced that breaking up with you was the right thing to do.

Your ex might be watching you

Sometimes silence means the other person is heavily influenced by what is going on.

For example, if your ex was just cool and easygoing with this breakup and life in general, it wouldn’t be a big deal for him to reach out to you.

But your ex may be facing some difficulties.

He/she may feel reluctant to interact with you because of intense feelings of loss and regret that he/she broke up with you.

The reason they may struggle to interact with you is because as I mentioned above, your ex may remain silent because he/she wants to wait and see how he/she is at some point in the future feels instead of risking breaking up with you again.

Get Your Ex Back With Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit!

That’s why it’s important right now to keep drama and anger out of the picture.

If your ex is thinking of getting back together with you, the last thing you want is for him/her to think that if he/she gets back with you he/she would have to go through everything but their feelings go back and they get back with you The drama, the anger, and all that puts an end to them.

You want to have as few hurdles as possible for your ex to get back together with you.

Keeping your ex silent actually improves your chances

You wonder why your ex isn’t texting or calling you.

It hurts.

However, keeping your ex silent actually helps your chances of getting back together with him/her.

As?

Every silent day that goes by is another day for your ex to witness.

So at some point your ex looks at his phone and sees that it’s been 35 days.

42 days.

And your ex gets that sense of loss.

That fear that you might move on or at least be strong enough to stay away from them.

Keeping your ex silent makes the no contact rule even stronger.

If they have reached out to you, it can dilute the situation, although I do not recommend that you ignore your ex as there is some relief when he/she interacts with you.

Again, you’d rather have that than what can happen if you ignore her.

So be sure to watch the video above if you haven’t, and remember that just because your ex is silent doesn’t mean all hope is lost.

Get my Emergency Breakup Kit or my Emergency Marriage Kit to help you get your ex back based on my two decades in relationship recovery ministry.

– Coach Lee

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Depending on how a breakup went, it’s pretty normal for exes to unfollow each other on social media. It’s normal not to want to see your ex’s posts if you’re having a hard time getting over it, and vice versa. But if your ex still follows you on Instagram, don’t freak out. Experts say it probably doesn’t mean anything too deep.

If you scroll down to ‘Gram after the breakup and find that your ex is still following you even after you’ve unfollowed them, you might be a little surprised — especially if you’ve both agreed to unfollow each other. But if neither of you mentioned anything about social media and what those platforms would look like to you after your relationship ended, then any unexpected behavior from them can be hard to read.

Regarding social media behavior after a breakup, celebrity relationship therapist Dr. Gary Brown told Elite Daily: “A lot of it depends on why and how the relationship ended.” For example, if the breakup was messy, then following each other on social media might not be the best idea.

According to Brown, having an ex following you on Instagram could mean he either misses you romantically or just as a friend. “Maybe they’re really over the romantic aspects of your relationship, but they value your friendship and want to continue including you in their lives,” Brown explains. “It could also mean that they’re not over you and maybe still holding on to the hope that the two of you get back together.” Yikes. If you are sure that there is no future for you and your ex, it could become very uncomfortable.

But don’t freak out because it really isn’t always that deep. As Brown says, “If you and your ex haven’t talked about it beforehand, it can be difficult to know what it really means.” Sure, it could mean they’re still interested in seeing you and your life , but “it could also mean they forgot to unfollow you,” as Brown points out. “It’s not always easy to know.”

In short, an ex following you on Instagram doesn’t necessarily mean anything other than the fact that they forgot to unfollow you. If you are uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to click the “Block” button. After all, that’s what it’s there for. According to Brown, it’s usually best not to follow an ex on social media in general, and for them to unfollow you. “Give yourself some time to recover from the loss, no matter how it ended. Holding on to each other will only hamper your ability to mourn your loss and move on with your life.”

As Brown says, depending on how your relationship ended, it might be best not to follow each other on social media. But if your ex is still following you, don’t try to twist it — it might mean nothing. Worst comes with worst, block ’em! Thanks, next.

Your profile picture tells people more about your personality than you thought

2 months ago

The social media profile picture could be the window to your soul.

That’s the finding of a group of researchers studying the connection between people’s profile pictures and their personality traits.

According to the study, social media users can be classified into one of the Big Five model personality traits – openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness and neuroticism – based on their profile picture alone.

(Jonathan Brady/PA)

For example, extraverts are more likely to have a profile picture with multiple faces on them. They’re also likely to convey a younger image, either by using a picture from years ago or by posing with younger people.

The study used the Twitter profiles of more than 66,000 people — making it larger than most psychological studies — while 429 users completed a standard personality questionnaire and found “significant differences in profile picture selection between personality traits.”

So the question is, what category does your profile picture fall into and how much does it give away to other social media users, let alone future employers or advertisers?

openness

(Jasmaine Mathews/Thinkstock)

The analysis revealed that these users “are likely to have profile pictures other than faces, indicating that they do not live up to expectations.”

Photos are also likely to be more aesthetically pleasing, using an artistic quality such as grayscale. Users are often seen wearing glasses but not sunglasses, show less emotion, and the face size ratio is usually larger than others.

conscientiousness

The study describes conscientiousness as the personality trait associated with order, planned behavior, and self-discipline, which is why these users “prefer expected behavior.” An image that only shows the user’s face is therefore expected the most, and they are more likely to appear happy, smiling, or positive than any other characteristic.

They don’t usually use grayscale images, they rarely wear glasses, and the face size is usually smaller. The images also make users appear older than they actually are.

extraversion

(ViewApart/Thinkstock)

Extraversion is a trait characterized by engagement with the outside world, and “of all traits, these types of users correlate most strongly with colorful imagery.” An extravert’s image tends to have many faces – which is different from all personalities – and they usually present themselves at a younger age, using an image of when they were younger or were surrounded by younger people.

The strongest correlation compared to other features is that the ratio of their faces is smaller – although that may be because they tend to have more people in the picture.

compatibility

This trait is described as “characterized by social harmony and cooperation”. These users like profile pictures with faces and the correlation to color is opposite to openness. This means they usually present colorful profiles, but the images are usually fuzzy, blurry, bright and tend to be cluttered and not that aesthetically pleasing.

neuroticism

(Design Images/Thinkstock)

Profile pictures for neurotic users, perhaps unsurprisingly, are anti-correlated with colorfulness and contrast with the traits displayed by users with agreeableness and extraversion. The study found that “neurotic people generally present plain, uncolored images with negative color feelings.”

It has also been found that neurotic users tend not to use faces as their profile picture, and when they do they have the strongest correlation to people viewed with reading glasses. If there is a face in the image, it is also “significantly larger” than other users’ images.

We’re all guilty of checking out our exes on social media, especially right after a breakup.

Even though we’re not interested in ever seeing that person again, curiosity gets the better of us and we can’t help but stop by from time to time. After all, that person may have been in your life for quite some time.

Maybe we want to see if we’re really better off without them, if they’re dating someone else and have been “downgraded,” or maybe deep down we’re hoping for a reconciliation.

We might even rack our brains looking for answers as to why the relationship ended.

Was it mutual, or did actions by one or both parties create a schism? Is our ex emotionally okay? Do you have a new girlfriend or boyfriend in your life?

But why do we need to know these things? Why do we stalk our ex after a breakup? Well, science has the answer.

A University of Western Ontario study found that 88 percent of Facebook users tend to check in with their ex-boyfriends.

Considering the time it takes to get over a breakup, that shouldn’t seem too shocking.

And while we might feel weird browsing her social media, it’s actually a very natural thing to do.

“We’re programmed to pay attention to other people,” revealed media psychologist Pamela Rutledge, who studies the impact of media and technology on our lives.

“Basically, even if we broke something, we want to believe that nobody can replace us. We want reassurance that we are valued or a good person, so we hope that without us they will be a little sad or a little suffering,” she continued.

Rutledge also said that looking at your ex’s side can help you stop feeling guilty.

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“You’re not endangering anyone, you’re just really curious,” she added.

“Obviously, there’s a fine line to walk. If you’re putting in a lot of time following someone, you probably should evaluate how you’re spending your time. At this point it’s all about you. It’s not about the other person at all.”

While checking in on our exes via social media is normal and expected after a breakup, there is a point when we need to take a break and focus on our own spiritual recoupling.

At the end of the day, we’re the most important person in our lives, and we don’t need to waste a ridiculous amount of time looking at what could have been. Why devote all the time in the world to someone who probably isn’t doing the same for you?

In addition, the study found that there is a correlation between jealousy and time spent on Facebook.

The more information people find, the more they will want. And because of this cycle, you can end up hurting yourself worse than after a broken heart.

The study also found that women are more likely to be jealous than men. But really, don’t beat yourself up if you tend to linger on your ex-boyfriend’s social media, ladies.

In the end, it seems like it’s human nature to want to know what our exes are up to after a breakup.

But instead of dwelling on the past, let’s look to a brand new future for ourselves. Because no matter how devastated we are, this too will pass.

Nicole Weaver is a senior writer for Showbiz Cheat Sheet whose work has been published in New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, and others.

Editor’s Note: This article was originally published in June 2015 and has been updated with the latest information.