He Texted After First Date But Not Since? The 230 Detailed Answer

For many people, there is nothing more nerve-wracking than a first date. But even if the date goes well, those dreaded post-date questions can be even worse. did you talk too much Did they laugh at your jokes? And the inevitable: how long should you wait to text them? You may be worried about being held down by the arbitrary “three-day rule,” but luckily it turns out you’re worrying more than you need to. According to experts, the best rule of thumb is that you should text someone within 24 hours of a first date. Read on to find out why a day is the perfect amount of time and for more relationship advice, discover The One Pick-Up Line That Works Every Time, Research Shows.

Send a simple thank you text within the next 24 hours.

“When it comes to texting after a first date, you should text the next day at the latest to say you had a great time or to say thank you for their time,” says Susan Trombetti, Matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking. “Most people text within hours of arriving thanking their date.”ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb

Andrea McGinty, digital dating coach and founder of 33 Thousand Dates, says, “Texting a few hours after the date shows that you value the person’s time and enjoy their company.” And the research backs it up: According to McGinty , out of 752 single men surveyed by 33 Thousand Dates, 84 percent said they like hearing from a woman on the same day as their first date. And if you’re wondering about your date, check out these undeniable signs a first date went well.

But you can wait a few days to ask on a second date.

According to Trombetti, when it comes to sending “the simplest thank you text,” the 24-hour timeline hits the spot. If you’re texting about a second date or just want to flirt, you can wait up to three to five days after your first date. And before you go on a first date, make sure you avoid the worst thing you can do when introducing yourself.

And you can make exceptions for exceptional cases.

McGinty says that 95 percent of the time, texting a few hours after the first date is best. However, there may be instances when you want to wait.

“The only circumstance you wouldn’t want to text soon after is if they tell you something personal is happening later that day, and even then you can build that into your message,” she says. And for useful information delivered straight to your inbox, sign up for our daily newsletter.

If the other person texts you first, you should reply within the same day.

You may not always be the first to text after a first date. And while that may seem like it takes the pressure off you, your reaction time is also important if you’re interested in following things up with this person.

“Not responding to texts is the quickest way to destroy a new relationship before it even begins,” says Trombetti. “When someone texts you, it’s a must to reply on the same day you received the text. If you don’t, your date will think you’re not interested in him.” And to make sure you keep the conversation going, find out which one question you keep asking can end a conversation, say experts.

But avoid late-night texting.

Both Trombetti and McGinty say you should keep late-night texting out of the picture, especially if you’ve only had a first date with that person. McGinty says if it’s after 11pm, it’s best to wait until morning, as texting this late at night “might signal you’re getting too comfortable with your glass of wine.” And if you’re drinking, you should especially wait, as you don’t want to scare your date off with a sloppy text. And for more reasons you might not see someone again, This is the real reason half of men cancel dates, research shows.

No text after the first date?

You went on a date with someone from Tinder and thought you got along well with them. But days go by and they don’t text you. Does that sound all too familiar? Unfortunately, it’s more common than you think. Dating can be very confusing and frustrating, especially when someone ends up making you appear as ghosts. Need help demystifying dating? Here are seven reasons why they didn’t text you after the first date:

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Rejection is one thing, but mixed signals are actually worse.

Let me explain…

When a guy is into you and things are going well, you can see all the signs that a real relationship could happen.

That’s why it can be so upsetting and confusing when he suddenly disappears…

Here are the top reasons why this happens.

16 Reasons Why Guys Look Interested But Then Disappear (Guide To Male Psychology)

1) If they only want sex

The stereotype that most men just want sex isn’t always true. It is obvious that many men have a strong sexual focus and enjoy sex.

Still, the notion that “all” men out there are chasing endless bedfellows is wrong.

What is true, however, is that some men obviously are.

If they weren’t, the stereotype wouldn’t exist.

This list should start with this because it’s definitely one of the most common reasons men seem interested but then disappear:

They just want some nookies.

I’m sorry to say that, but the truth is better than sugarcoating it.

And the fact is, in some cases, the guy who was so “in” her really just put a notch on his bedpost.

2) When they find you boring

This relates to reason one, and it’s actually pretty common.

One of the main reasons guys seem interested but then disappear is that a guy tries to pressure himself into being into you but ultimately just doesn’t feel it.

A good example comes from an episode of the hit comedy Two And a Half Men, in which sex-obsessed bachelor Charlie (played by Charlie Sheen) goes on a date with a gorgeous blonde model because he’s so bored with her.

He recently met another woman who is not as “hot” but who is much more energizing to him in terms of humor and intellect.

And the truth is, a smart and creative guy will lose interest in most women unless they stimulate him emotionally or mentally.

It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re “bored,” but it can definitely mean he’s boring you and feeling like you’re a mismatch.

It sucks, but there’s a lot more going on than most dating guides care to admit.

3) When you didn’t make them feel like a hero

One of the most common reasons men appear interested but then disappear has to do with the deepest roots of male psychology and biology.

There is a little known concept that makes a man commit or crawl and run.

This refers to how you make him feel.

You see, for guys it’s all about unleashing their inner hero.

I learned that from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept is about what really drives men in relationships, which is ingrained in their DNA.

And that’s something most women don’t know about.

Once triggered, these drivers make men heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love more, and commit more when they find someone who knows how to trigger it.

Now you might be wondering why it’s called “the heroic instinct”? Do guys really have to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?

Not at all. Forget Marvel. You don’t have to play damsel in distress or buy your man a cape.

The truth is, it doesn’t cost you anything or make any sacrifices. With just a few small changes in how you approach him, you’ll unlock a part of him that no woman has unlocked before.

The easiest way is to watch James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He gives you some simple tips to get you started, such as: B. Sending a 12-word text message that instantly triggers his hero instinct.

Because that’s the beauty of the heroic instinct.

It’s all about saying the right things so that he realizes that he wants you and only you.

Click here to watch the free video.

4) When they find the sex average

Along with the topic of sex, there is the question of the quality or pleasure a guy gets from having sex with you.

It’s well known that some women fake orgasms, but some men “play it up” when it comes to how much they enjoy having sex with you.

Sometimes they seem very turned on by you at the moment, but in reality they more or less just take what they can get.

As insulting as that sounds, it really isn’t you…

Only a man with low self-esteem and a sleazy attitude treats sex as a commodity to “take” when he can find it.

And only a coward gives a woman hope and feelings when he really only wants to use her physically.

But the fact of the matter is that when a man lines up to have sex with you, he’s going to make a pretty harsh judgment about whether it was worth it for him.

Carlos Cavallo tells the brutal truth without glossing over:

“After that, he checks in on the scale and sees how much effort he’s stacking against the feeling of being in bed with you. “If the effort wasn’t enough and the feeling wasn’t great (one affects the other, by the way) – he knows he’s not coming back. And he’ll just think it’s because he wasn’t that into you.”

A male friend of mine said, “Sex is sex,” and it’s not very different. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth…

5) When he has trouble understanding his own emotions

The idea that all guys are basically simple creatures who want sex and validation may have some roots in truth, but it’s not the whole story.

Creative and intelligent men who know their own worth tend to have a lot more going on beneath the surface than meets the eye.

“I’m one of those guys who would push hard only to get out quickly and unexpectedly later on.

“But if you ask my wife (and most women I’ve dated), I’m not a liar, a gamer, or an idiot. That means there’s a lot going on below the surface – for all of us,” explains Evan Katz.

Katz is right.

Sometimes one of the main reasons guys seem interested but then go away is that they are really interested but then stop being interested.

The question is of course why?

And the answer can only come from him if he is willing to talk to you again.

But the point is that the reason is often on his side as he struggles with his own emotions and finding out how he really feels about you.

It’s not always something big, complex or that he’s a player who just wanted to use you. It may be that he was a bit interested, but then quickly realized that he wasn’t really that into you.

6) When they meet another girl, they are more into it

The simple truth is that sometimes a guy suddenly loses interest in you because he’s met someone else.

As Mark Ballenger says:

“Maybe he started dating someone else because he was flirting with multiple women at once.”

Let’s face it: in the age of Tinder and Bumble, this is extremely common for both men and women.

You open and app and send messages to dozens of people, dating one or two. It’s very common then that he’s interested in you but also has another girl he’s hoping to meet as well.

In some cases, he meets up with her and finds that it doesn’t click… lucky.

But other times, he meets the new woman and suddenly his interest in you is an ancient relic: he’s just not that into you anymore.

If there’s one thing that can quickly drain your attraction to someone, it’s meeting someone you have strong feelings for.

And the simple possibility here is that a guy who’s flirting around and meeting a new girl will suddenly lose all interest in you when he’s dating someone he’s more into.

7) Would you like advice specific to your situation?

While this article explores the top reasons why men act interested but then disappear, it can be helpful to talk to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and experiences…

Relationship Hero is a website where highly qualified relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, e.g. B. when men withdraw. They are a very popular resource for people facing this type of challenge.

how should i know

Well, I reached out to her a few months ago when I was going through a rough patch in my own relationship. After being lost in thought for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it going again.

I was blown away by how nice, empathetic and really helpful my coach was.

In just minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get advice tailored to your situation.

Click here to start.

8) When it’s all about her ego

Some guys aren’t that into sex or thrills in their dating lives. They want to satisfy their bottomless need for validation and ego stretching.

(I wish I could say only boys suffered from this, but let’s face it…)

The point is that this very human trait of seeking connections just to have your ego massaged and showered with praise and affection is very common.

When it’s all about his ego and feeling important and liked, you can be sure a guy will quickly lose attention and become distracted:

That’s because, to begin with, he was never that into you, just the attention and validation you gave him.

Once that fades, a bright shiny thing catches his eye (a job, a girl, a new hobby) and he disappears from view.

That’s a big reason why some guys seem interested and then disappear: They’ve only ever been interested in making you feel nice, not in having an actual relationship.

9) When they have a personal crisis

One of the most common reasons a guy falls off the map is because he’s going through a personal crisis or doesn’t feel like he’s right for you.

Whether you just started dating, are new to dating, or are in a serious relationship, it works more or less the same.

He begins going through a rough time mentally or emotionally and begins to isolate himself.

He will then respond less to your messages and will not reply to you in any way, even if he is physically near you.

This is a very difficult problem to overcome as you cannot force anyone to come out of their shell.

Really, the best thing you can do is show him that you’re there for him and going about your life and meeting someone new if and when he doesn’t open up again.

10) When they feel like you’re not good enough for them

The idea of ​​being “good enough” for someone is primarily a very codependent idea.

It is on this concept that we somehow compete with other potential rivals for the affections of a romantic partner…

And that if we “fall short” enough, we’ll be left at the side of the road.

The reality of love is that the right person will push you to be stronger and realize your potential, rather than pricing you like a product in a grocery store.

Nonetheless, some guys who think highly of themselves definitely engage in this type of mindset.

And for a variety of reasons, they may decide that you’re just not “good enough” for them.

The most common reasons include:

They think you’re not physically attractive enough

They don’t find you interesting or funny enough

You believe that your emotional or mental health baggage is spoiling you

You view your life challenges, financial situation, or reputation as evidence that you are not a very good catch

11) When they think you’re incompatible

One of the main reasons guys act interested but then disappear is because they think you’re incompatible.

That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you (or with them).

It just means that for some reason, right or wrong, they’ve decided you’re not a good fit.

When this is the case, the sense of rejection and personalization can be overwhelming.

But it is actually an opportunity to work on another relationship that will improve your life immeasurably.

The truth is that most of us overlook an incredibly important element in our lives:

The relationship we have with ourselves.

I learned about it from the shaman Rudá Iandê. In his candid, free video on nurturing healthy relationships, he gives you the tools to put yourself at the center of your world.

It covers some of the biggest mistakes most of us make in our relationships, like codependency habits and unhealthy expectations. Mistakes most of us make without realizing it.

So why am I recommending Rudá’s life-changing advice?

Well, he uses techniques derived from ancient shamanic teachings, but he puts his own modern twist on them. He may be a shaman, but his love experiences were not much different from yours and mine.

Until he found a way to overcome these common problems. And he wants to share that with you.

So if you’re ready to make that change today and start cultivating healthy, loving relationships, relationships you know you deserve, check out his simple, genuine advice.

Click here to watch the free video.

12) When they don’t feel good enough for you

On the other hand, some guys go to the mountains because they feel like they’re not good enough for you.

Whether in their own imagination or because of real challenges or shortcomings, they embrace this idea that they are inadequate or flawed and not what you need.

Dating coach Mat Boggs talks about this in a really insightful video that I recommend. As he states, “A man’s self-esteem comes from his purpose and his ability to bring you happiness.”

When a guy feels like he can’t do it, he gets a hole in his stomach.

Whatever the reason a man decides he’s not good enough for you, it can be almost impossible to change his mind. Once he gets it in his head that he doesn’t meet your standards, it can be very difficult to get him to see his own worth.

13) When friends and family warn them about you

Another big reason men act interested but then disappear is because their friends or family tell them they have bad news.

Advice from those close to a man can have a really powerful influence on him, especially when it’s his parents or close “brothers” who are giving him their opinions about you.

If they sort of tell him that getting involved with you isn’t a good idea, it can really make him feel scared and hesitant.

Even if he was very interested up to a point, negative input from people he trusts and cares about can make him lose interest in you.

That seems really unfair, and often it is.

However, it is important to keep this in mind as one of the options as it is very common.

14) When they just want the thrill of the chase

There’s a certain type of guy who just loves the thrill of the chase.

It’s not so much the sex itself, but the pursuit and seduction of you that he craves.

But as soon as he knows you’re interested or want more with him, he turns off like a stage light and disappears…

The show is over…

If a guy just wants the thrill of the chase, that’s his own business.

There’s really nothing like falling completely in love or solving his own problems to solve this for him…

As Adam Lodolce writes:

“It’s the worst thing to find out — after you’ve started liking a guy — that he’s dating because it’s his hobby and he has very little interest in pursuing anything more serious.”

15) When your behavior or values ​​conflict with them

Sometimes you think things are going really well with a guy, but he has a very different experience.

One of the most common reasons is that he feels your values ​​clash but doesn’t think it’s worth confronting or arguing about.

He sees subtle or specific things about how you act and what you believe that are a deal breaker for him, but for you it’s just small details about your life…

For example maybe you:

Smoke and drink occasionally

love pop music

Support gay rights

Do you have a desire to live in a modern big city?

And he feels very strongly about one or more of these issues in different ways, in a way that directly clashes with you.

Even if he’s not showing it outwardly or arguing with you, he may be evasive and wanting to move on from the relationship with as little drama as possible because he feels like your values ​​are just so different that he can’t decide.

16) When they have bonding issues

Some guys want to get serious but they have serious commitment issues.

As Justin Brown writes in his epic apology to women, there are some things men feel in relationships that can be difficult to talk about.

There are people who are genuinely interested in something serious, but as soon as it gets close, they push it away and react anxiously…

And some men just don’t know what they want.

There just seems to be something missing and they don’t feel right.

This also relates to the unique concept I mentioned earlier: the heroic instinct.

When a man feels respected, useful, and needed, he’s more likely to commit to you and want something serious.

And the best part is that triggering your hero instinct can be as easy as knowing what to say about a text correctly.

This simple and authentic video by James Bauer shows you exactly what to do.

How to avoid the bait and switch?

After reading this guide, you’re probably a little scared.

After all, with so many reasons guys drop out of a budding relationship, how can you count on not smiling today and bursting into tears tomorrow?

You can not.

This is why love is scary and always involves some risk.

But the only protection you can have from having your heart shattered into a thousand pieces is to work on your own foundation.

You cannot control how others treat you, but you can control how you treat yourself.

The search for true love and intimacy begins with a rock-solid certainty of your own worth and enjoying your own company.

When you’re struggling with a situation where you’re at your wit’s end, rest assured that things will get better and that you won’t be to blame for other people’s bad decisions.

Many people have conflicting feelings about first dates. There may be nervousness, excitement, or even a sense of fear.

Part of what can make the dating process disappointing is that you want a relationship but end up spending a lot of time with people who are ultimately incompatible with you and don’t want the same things. It’s difficult to stay committed if you feel you’re not getting the results you want.

This is part of the dating process. However, the quicker you can determine if someone isn’t right for you, the quicker you can make room for the right person. The less tiring the process is for you, the more fun you’ll have with it.

While you can’t necessarily determine right off the bat where a relationship will lead, here are some initial warning signs that can help you weed out those who are clearly not right for you on a first date:

1. They don’t respect your boundaries. Notice how your date reacts when they don’t get what they want or when you prefer something they don’t agree with. The way someone else reacts to your boundaries is very revealing: are they treating you with respect or are they violating your boundaries, regardless of how you’re feeling?

Here are some examples of what it can look like when someone doesn’t respect your boundaries on a first date:

You say you don’t want another drink and they order you one anyway.

They say you have to go home because tomorrow is an early day and they are trying to convince you to stay longer.

They try to kiss you and you express that you don’t like it. They react by getting defensive, angry, or trying to make you feel guilty about your reaction.

2. You are rude to others. It doesn’t matter how nice your date is to you if they treat the people around them badly. Do they complain that the service is bad, say they don’t want to tip, or are they condescending to the bartender or waiter? You get a front row glimpse of how that person treats others, and if it’s not done with kindness, chances are you’ll be affected by that behavior soon enough.

3. They label one or more of their exes as “crazy.” Discussions about ex-partners aren’t generally a great first-date topic, but when it comes up and your date calls an ex-partner “crazy” or talks about them in a derogatory way, it shows that they’re unlikely to be responsible for theirs Actions take over and wouldn’t do it with you either.

4. There is an issue where you talk bad about others. In your first few conversations, do you put people down behind their backs? Does everyone seem to have something wrong in their life? When your date has a problem with so many people, they are the common denominator and that should give you food for thought.

5. They don’t answer sensible questions directly or try to make you feel guilty if you ask one. If you ask sensible first date questions and your date doesn’t answer them directly or answers them judgmentally, proceed with caution. For example, you can learn a lot by asking someone what they are looking for in the dating process. It’s a fairly simple question and can easily be answered honestly. If the answer to a question like this is, “Why would you ask me that? I don’t know you”, “Let’s just go with the flow” or “You’re overdoing it” are signs that the person is judging you for asking a reasonable question and that you are not on the same page.

6. They frequently check their phone or answer calls. Unless the situation is urgent, if your date is distracted and frequently checks their phone or answers calls during your date, it shows that they are not considering your feelings and may have difficulty being fully present when you are decide to continue.

7. You talk about yourself all the time. Is your date talking to you or to you? There’s a difference. When someone talks to you, they talk about themselves and don’t ask you questions or give you space to tell more about yourself. It almost feels like it doesn’t matter if you’ve been there or not. It’s difficult to make an emotional connection or feel close to someone when you don’t feel seen or heard.

On the other hand, if someone talks to you instead of addressing you, it’s similar to a ping-pong ball being hit back and forth. Your date asks you a question and then sends the ball to you, you answer and ask your date a question, then hit the ball back, and so on.

8. They try to speed up the pace of getting to know each other quickly. Do they talk about the future and all the things you two will do together, events you will go to and places you will visit? It might feel nice and exciting at first, but they don’t really know you. So, talking about all of these plans for the future can give you a false sense of security that you are likely to overlook other red flags.

9. They pay you insidious compliments. “Negging” is another term for an insidious compliment. You may feel confused at first when hearing a negative, not sure if you just received a compliment or an insult. Denial is often used as a tactic to induce self-doubt in another person so that they’re more likely to want your approval.

Here are some examples of what negging on a first date can look like:

“You look good for your age.”

“You’re cute, but you’d be a lot hotter if you let your hair grow out.”

“I’m not usually into curvy women, but you’re attractive.”

10. You bring up the subject of sex. The issue will come up eventually when you start a relationship, but when it comes up this early, it usually doesn’t bode well. It’s not so much about sex; It’s like the person decided to bring it up on the date without knowing how you’re comfortable. Someone who cares about getting to know you and considers your well-being is unlikely to talk about sex on a first date.

11. They disregard your comfort and concern for safety. When they insist on picking you up, going for a night walk in a remote area, or meeting you in an area where you would need to use public transportation late at night and you tell them you’d rather try another option , because you feel more secure, but they react defensively or indicate that you are overreacting, this is a warning sign that they will not consider your needs or comfort as you move forward.

Disclaimer: This post is for informational purposes only. This post is not intended as a substitute for professional or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your mental health professional or other qualified healthcare provider with questions about your condition or wellbeing.

Facebook image: New Africa/Shutterstock

1. Your smile. A lady’s mouth is often the very first part of a woman that a man sees. Great lips and teeth are not only sexy, but guys will look to your mouth for social cues as it is the most expressive feature you possess. A warm, welcoming smile might convey, “Here I am, come talk to me.” A sly, seductive grin might convey, “You can try, but you’ll have to work for it.” And a scowl might suggest, “Turn around and go back to your mom’s basement,” or “I’ve got spinach in my teeth.” .

2. Her laugh. When a guy has game, he will immediately try to turn a smile into a laugh. A pretty lady’s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds a single man can hear as he will be excited knowing his charms are working. The laugh itself will help him decide whether to ask the girl out: a sweet, heady giggle might be music to his ears, while a deep, harsh chuckle might remind him too much of his Uncle Morty to proceed .

3. Your sense of humor. As much as any guy would love to make you laugh, your ability to do the same for him is a huge turn on that he’ll notice right away. Your brand might be dry and subtle like Rebel Wilson’s or broad and wacky like Amy Poehler’s, but anything that makes him laugh will give you major points in his book. Just be careful when re-enacting your Will Ferrell “Frank the Tank” part old school: although he’ll surely notice you chugging beers and yelling, “IT’S SO GOOD, ONCE IT HITS YOUR LIPS!” it won’t necessarily be in a good way.

4. Your eyes. Although a less tactful guy might be caught glancing at other assets, your eyes are what a guy should be looking at during a conversation. But any seasoned guy will want to look you in the eye for more than just their beautiful aesthetic qualities. They say “Eyes are the window to the soul,” and as cliché as that sounds, it’s kind of true. A lot of information can be transmitted and received through eye contact, and any guy trying to get to know you will see your gaze as a way to flirt and read signals.

5. Your voice. While it may not be the first thing about you that he talks about with his buddies (“I’m telling you, bro, this chick’s vocal cords have popped!”), a man will surely be aware of the tone of your voice. Especially if that voice is extraordinarily sexy or unusually obnoxious. Your voice can instantly change a person’s perception of you, for better or for worse. I’m not suggesting that you intentionally influence your tone, but you might think twice before starting your famous Gilbert Gottfried impression.

6. Your friends. You spend enough time with some of your friends that you probably share many traits and qualities. Guys know this and will probably judge you by the company you keep. If there’s a member of your crew that you’ve never gotten on well with, do your best to distance yourself from them on singles night. The last thing you want is for Khloé Kardashian Jr. to have your new potential suitor’s ear wailing about her lifelong “struggle” to find a handbag bling-y enough to properly complement her “natural swag.” .

7. Your body type. No one likes to admit it, but your physique is as much a part of you as any other physical characteristic. For many men, a woman’s weight is a rather superficial attribute that is less important to them than other factors when choosing a partner. But some men are specifically looking for the Olive Oyl type, while others would rather date a woman who has curves. If he hits on you, he’s interested in you.

8. Your smell. Your smell is often the only thing about you that a guy will remember most vividly long after your paths have parted. It can linger on clothes, hands or bedding, gently reminding the man of the amazing woman he just met. Always use soaps or perfumes that you like, but perhaps not something that would likely be worn by an old lady who collects antiques and shares an attic with 14 cats. (Thirteen is OK.)

9. Your six inch heels. With the exception of foot fetishists and women’s shoe designers (in the latter case, are you sure he’s romantically interested?) — the vast majority of the men you date have little to no taste when it comes to women’s shoes. Unfortunately, however, guys tend to notice shoes when they obviously look uncomfortable or when you’re uncomfortable in them. Luckily, you have a dozen other assets for him to work with before he looks at your feet, so just wear what makes you feel good.

10. Your personal style. While men may have no idea who designed your dress or how to pronounce “louboutin,” men believe they are perfectly capable of observing and interpreting a woman’s personal style. Are you a hipster like Hannah? A free-spirited Jessa? Fashion conscious like Marnie? Or are you a total shosh? While you may not identify with any character from Girls, the typical guy will inevitably (unconsciously, at least) categorize your style the moment he first meets you. Hopefully he’s evolved enough to know that you are more than what you wear, but your style will definitely influence his first impression.

11. Your boobs. See, unless they’re hidden and veiled like King Tutankhamun, your breasts will catch the eye of any warm-blooded man who meets you for the first time. Men are just biologically programmed to track them down like pigs looking for truffles. Whether you proudly display your breasts like trophies or secure them conservatively to keep some secret is entirely up to you—but you have to know that guys are looking. And evaluate. And talk.

12. Your butt. In another unfortunate (but inevitable) instance of objectification, this guy will likely (hopefully, at least discreetly) take a peek at your loot as you leave as well. Most gentlemen fall into the “chest” or “butt” camp and claim connoisseurship of one part of the body over the other. But identifying a guy who doesn’t notice either would be like discovering and proving the existence of the Loch Ness Monster.

13. Your trust. The most important thing for a man who meets you for the first time is the energy you exude. There is absolutely nothing (and I mean nothing) that a man finds more attractive than confidence. If you can appear confident and have a strong sense of self, a guy will immediately take notice of you no matter what your other qualities are. Well, that’s sexy in general.

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It’s a universally accepted truth: dating is the worst. You may think you know a man’s true feelings toward you, but then… they go and do something hurtful that leaves you in the dust. That’s why figuring out exactly how to tell if a guy likes you can help you read between the lines and figure out exactly where you both stand.

However, knowing if a boy likes you isn’t always as easy as we’d like it to be, which is why knowing how to spot the subtle signs a boy likes is a must – especially if you want to navigate the dating game with finesse or in search of true love.

So how do you know if a boy likes you enough to possibly become someone special? Here are some surefire signs he likes you that can help you decipher how he really feels.

How to tell if a guy likes you

1. He touches you.

Men are usually a bit more physical than women. So when a guy tries to touch you when he doesn’t need to, that’s usually a great way to show if he likes you. When he wants to emphasize something and he touches your hand or accidentally touches you with his knee, these are usually small signals to show you his true feelings.

2. He remembers little details about you.

If you met him a couple of times and he remembered some details of your previous conversation, it’s not in vain. If he likes you, he will pay more attention to what you say because he may be trying to find a deeper meaning and connection.

3. You two are social media friends.

Guys don’t send friend requests to girls who aren’t them, their friends, family or they don’t like them. More accurate social media signs that he wants to take it to the next level are liking your photo or sliding into your DMs.

Your new crush may try to make direct eye contact with you to indirectly tell you that they like you. If he keeps eye contact with you, he’s definitely interested. On the other hand, if he breaks eye contact with you and keeps looking around the room, then he may not be interested in you anymore and you can start texting other people again.

5. He makes an effort in the conversations you have.

If a guy likes you, he will make an effort to talk to you. What may start as an awkward conversation can turn into a great opportunity to get to know each other. Sometimes guys don’t know what to add to the conversation but in the end they show you that they are interested with their listening skills and tone of voice. If his voice seems to trail off when the two of you speak, it’s unlikely he’s interested in you. But if his voice is deep and present, asking questions about what you’re saying; he probably has a crush on you too.

6. He uses “alpha” body language.

Your new man wants to show you that he is the leader of the pack who can take care of you. If he stands taller, sucks in his stomach and pulls his shoulders back, and walks confidently, then that’s a good sign that he likes you.

See also: 13 ways to become stronger as a couple — following advice from relationship expert Dr. John Gottman

7. He asks if you have a boyfriend.

Now it’s pretty obvious that when he asks you, “Do you have a boyfriend?” then he is clearly interested in being your friend. However, not many men will be so direct. Instead, they will ask indirect questions to find out. Maybe he’ll mention he’s single hoping you’ll say “me too.”

8. He gets jealous when you talk to other guys.

When you start talking to other guys, whether online or in person, your crush might start looking at you and wondering what’s going on. A guy who isn’t interested in you wouldn’t bother looking when you’re talking to other guys. Don’t worry, once you show that you only have eyes for him with a nice, beautiful smile, he’s sure to be all yours again.

9. He wants to help you with your problems.

Boys are natural problem solvers. And when it comes to the person they fall in love with, they want a solution to every problem they hear about. If you bring up a problem you’re having and he likes you, he’ll likely scan his brain for solutions. A guy who likes you will go the extra mile. You’ll want to be your knight in shining armor to save the day.

Signs a guy likes you

This tip is great if you’re in a group of friends. If he makes a comment to the group or tries to tell a joke, and then looks at you to see your reaction, that’s a good sign he’s into you! It shows that he is seeking your approval or trying to impress you.

11. He lets you know about his future plans.

When he talks about his future plans beyond a mere promotion, chances are he really likes you for you! Why? Because he could possibly see you in his future and he’s trying to figure out if you fit into his plans.

Related: Dating Advice from the Cast of the Hit Broadway Show, Significant Other

12. He called you drunk.

You know the saying, “The words of a drunk are the thoughts of a sober.” It definitely applies here! Alcohol makes you honest with your feelings. So if they call or text you when they’re drunk, that’s a great sign that they like you (watch out for those 2am booty calls though!).

13. He changes his behavior when you’re around.

Boys react differently to stress than girls. But if they act a little different than usual, like talking more or less, it’s possible that he likes you but doesn’t know how to show it.

14. He dresses to impress.

It’s easy. No girl wants to date a guy who looks like a slob. If he puts a little extra effort into his looks or wears fancy perfume when you’re around, it’s a fair guess that a guy likes you!

15. He offers to buy you stuff.

A great way to show if a guy likes you is by offering to buy you dinner or giving you support when you’re going through a financial crisis. He wants to take care of his girl and make her happy!

How do you know if a boy likes you?

16. His friends leave both of you alone.

If you come to his house and his friends leave you both alone, there is a high chance that he likes you. Why? Because he’s obviously told his friends about his feelings for you and he’s looking for some alone time.

17. He defends you when someone insults you.

Like women, men are usually quite territorial when it comes to their partner. If a guy is acting up at a bar or his friends won’t stop teasing you, don’t be surprised if your crush comes to your defense. Not only is it super cute, but it’s also a great sign of his true feelings.

18. He is your best companion when you are sick or not feeling well.

Biologically, men have always wanted to help those closest to them. If your new man offers to bring you some soup, ginger ale, or other treats when you have a cold, it’s a surefire way to show that he likes you.

See Also: 250 Questions To Ask A Guy The Next Time You’re Feeling Stuck

Put your best foot forward on your next date by following this smart dating advice from the experts at Project Soulmate.

When it comes to love, Millennials are a confusing bunch. We’re more interested in buying a house than paying for a wedding, and we’re quick to quit our jobs to travel and see the world with a partner we’ll never marry (and never divorce). We’ve probably met our significant other on a dating app or followed their social media before we’ve ever hooked up IRL, and we tag our platonic friends in wacky relationship memes by saying “Soo we!”

So how do old-school dating rules apply to a generation that’s dramatically changing romance? For example, let’s say the three-day rule. The three-day dating rule popularized by Romcom insists that a person must wait three full days before contacting a potential suitor. A text or phone call on the first day is too eager, a contact on the second day seems planned, but three days is somehow the perfect amount of time.

Related Story I got hit by a bike on our first date

Once a tried-and-true strategy for guys to find the sweet spot between interested but not desperate, does that still apply when we’re carrying around a tiny machine with 6,000 different ways to interact with people? What, if anything, does the three-day dating rule mean for younger millennials? I turned to real millennial dates to find out how they tackle this potentially archaic rule.

More from ELLE

I have no idea what you’re talking about, you old, old girl.

Millennials Kristina, 26, and Emily, 26, both answered my question with one question, “Is that a thing?” They also told me they’d never heard of the three-day texting rule.

Both Kristina and Emily were behind a play-no-games dating methodology. “If you like someone, show them, tell them, kiss them,” explains Kristina. “It’s silly to do anything else, and while I understand the fun of playing up sexual tension and arousal, who has time to worry about what it means if he texts you right away or an hour later?” That’s reasonable logic. Why not communicate your feelings like an adult?

“If you like someone, show them, tell them, kiss them. It’s stupid to do anything else.”

Kristina adds that with apps and dating profiles, prospective suitors’ names, ages, hometowns, and occupations are always at their fingertips. With that kind of access, it makes sense to speed things up. Three days may just be too long, when you may have found the one (and google images of their childhood home). And if you’re the one, you probably had a great date too and would want to tell your suitor about it. “I’d like to know that you’re thinking of me,” says Emily.

Yes, I’ve heard about it, but it’s not for me

Three learned youth, Alyssa (27), Sarah (23), and Nerisha (24), all confirmed they had heard of the Rule, but it was not for them. “Waiting for a text just to make them want me more seems like a psychological warfare that a healthy relationship doesn’t need,” explains Alyssa. Alyssa noted that she would never date anyone who is interested in the three-day rule and the strategy behind it. Nerisha felt the same way. “If you’ve felt her enough to ask for her number and the vibe is all there, why wait?” she says. “This could be the woman of your dreams, but you’re acting.” For Sarah, she doesn’t have time to wait when she can literally swipe and find a new you in an instant.

Getty Images

Nerisha leaves a final word for the rule-bound potential suitors of her world: “You’re sitting on your couch, playing NBA 2K18, and your life is flashing past you.”

I did it, but no more!

“I’m Eric (28) and ruler for three days.” Hello, Erich. Eric was the only man to answer our question and the first to admit that waiting three days to text someone wasn’t the “2018” way. His decision to hold off on texting potential mates stemmed from his own desire not to be too early and too strong. “When you meet someone in a casual setting, it can sometimes seem crazy to immediately text them to set up the next hangout,” says Eric.

“You’re sitting on your couch, playing NBA 2K18 and your life is passing you by.”

“If you wait a few days instead, you can look like you have a life and figure out if you can spend more time with a future guy.” Three-day texting can sometimes just be a logistical hassle. We’re busy and we’re all moving fast, all participants agree on that. So why not make sure you’re ready to add a new element to your world and give yourself three days, for example. Eric admits that when he goes on a date with someone and they have a good time, he probably texts quickly afterwards because they probably texted before. “It’s one thing, I’ve both sent and received messages that fall under the three day rule but the world is garbage so I think I’ll just text a guy before the world ends.”

In a digital age where we move at the speed of light, we don’t have time to wait for those three days of agony. When you’ve found love, the advice of youngsters (aka the future) is to jump on it.

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After a great first date with someone, how important is it to keep the momentum going from that point on? Enter the momentum theory of dating.

Momentum theory suggests that the first few dates should be close together to improve your chances of the relationship thriving.

Not only does this mentality improve your chances of getting a prospect, but it’s also the best way to really get to know someone.

This means that we should not wait too long to plan the next appointment and also aim to maintain consistent contact with a prospect between appointments. Slow progress or intermittent lulls of no contact between dates can potentially ruin your chances of dating someone. If you want anything to come of this, you need to keep the momentum going from the start. That doesn’t mean you have to rush things – you just want to take things at a steady pace.

While walking slowly is acceptable, moving too slowly can have detrimental effects.

Vancouver is a city known for its abundance of beautiful and intelligent singles. What goes along with that is a lot of nonchalant attitudes. In other words, Vancouver residents lack urgency in their dating behavior. They often don’t see the need for momentum and progression due to the impact of a plethora of options. However, if you want to make sure you don’t lose the person you’re interested in, follow these tips to keep the momentum going in your dating life:

A sense of urgency

A “sense of urgency” when applied to dating means you are acting with the understanding that progress in the relationship is critical to the success of that relationship. Because Vancouverites are often very focused on advancing their careers, they simply need to show the same drive when it comes to their romantic relationships or romantic prospects.

Instead of assuming that it doesn’t take effort to keep someone’s interest, let’s instead assume the opposite: Not being on the ball can get you thrown off the field.

The first appointments should be close together

The first few dates should be close together to keep the momentum going. The second date should be no later than two weeks after the first date. If the first date went exceptionally well, it’s best to secure a second date soon after. The following dates should all be as close together as possible.

If we don’t keep up the momentum, the initial butterflies we felt can lose their impact. The chemistry we feel on the first date needs to be maintained with a second date, third date, fourth date, and fifth date in close succession.

Once we start scheduling our dates with a prospect two weeks apart or more, momentum with that person can be lost and sometimes never restored. If we’re lucky enough to be able to pick up where we left off, that’s great – and it’s great when you’re able to revive that chemistry – but you make it a lot harder for yourself when you slow down the momentum.

Secure your next date in good time

We all have busy schedules, and sometimes not anticipating how busy a person’s schedule might be can be the cause of momentum slowing down.

The best thing to do is take the initiative and say, “Do you have next Saturday night off?” Giving someone a week’s notice means they can likely save that night for you. This is much more effective than passively waiting until the weekend is over and finding out he or she already has plans. Women definitely appreciate it when a man takes the initiative like this, but women shouldn’t hesitate to take that initiative themselves from time to time.

Keep the momentum going with text messages

Sending a text message every few days to check in and say hello is a great way to keep the momentum going, thereby keeping a prospect interested between appointments.

Just like waiting too long longer to set up your next date is harmful, waiting too long between text messages can also damage the relationship.

Moving too fast is not the goal. The goal is simply not to move too slowly. There is a happy medium that will be different for everyone. However, the standard rule is that it sends the wrong message of staying more than 5-7 days without texting someone you are interested in and raising a bright red flag.

Keep the momentum going with online dating too

Momentum is also important for your success on dating apps like PlentyOfFish or Tinder. Leaving a message unanswered or texting someone back and forth for too long without asking them on a first date can lose momentum. When it comes to online dating, it’s usually quite difficult to regain momentum when it’s lost.

Remember: if you take a nap, you may lose. Nothing good ever comes our way so put some effort into your dating life!

Featured Image: Woman waiting for the phone to ring via Shutterstock

Knowing how to ask on a second date is all a matter of timing. You may have an instinctive feeling, or you may want to use a few helpful tips to gauge when is the right time to ask on a second date.

Confidence to Win a Second Date Being a confident person will put your date at ease. Self-confidence conveys an individual strength of character, which coupled with modesty is always an attractive attribute. A few examples of confidently asking out on a second date are, “I like that you’re adventurous and that you like to have fun. I think we would have a lot of fun at the water park on Saturday. What do you think?”

“I had a lot of fun with you the other night. Maybe we could do it again on Friday night.

“It was great fun to see the film with you. There’s no sequel yet, but while we wait we might try something else, like the Saturday afternoon town festival.”

Be funny and joke around Humor is a great icebreaker and puts the other person at ease instantly. Humor telegraphs you accept and open. If humor isn’t a natural trait, you can tell a funny story or even a joke. However, you should use a little finesse so it doesn’t appear like you’re just inserting a joke into the conversation. You can get a little giggle with a one-liner or a joke, like, “I have something to confess to you. I was the one who let the dogs out.”

“I thought we might go to a new restaurant called Karma. But they don’t give you a menu.

“I have to warn you about something I’ve discovered about atoms. You can’t trust them. They make everything up.”

Keep things light-hearted Keep the conversation light-hearted and avoid any kind of controversial topic. You want a pleasant, easy exchange to ask on a second date. Talk about the things you have in common to set up a second date. “You mentioned that you like art. Do you have a favorite artist or style? I’m asking because there’s a new show at the Downtown Gallery and I thought we might go see it this weekend.”

“So you told me about your favorite team and I have some tickets to their next game and thought you might like to go.”

“You said you love food and are learning to cook, so I saw this ad for a one night cooking class on Saturday afternoon and thought it would be fun to try. Do you think you would like to cook a special dish together?”

Always be yourself The number one approach when asking on a second date is to be yourself. Do not play games or pretend to be something you are not. Such games and tricks do not fool anyone for very long. Just be open and act natural.

When to Ask for a Second Date The timing of asking for a second date is a tight window of opportunity. If you hesitate too long, you will lose the opportunity. Ask too soon and you may be rejected right away. Play games and your first date will be your last date.

When to ask for a second date You should ask for a second date within two to five days of your first date. This time frame shows genuine interest in the person and conveys that you enjoy their company enough to ask on a second date.

How to Get a Second Date Within Days of the First Date If you decide to wait to ask for the second date, it’s best if you can ask for your first date the following afternoon or evening. This gives your date enough time to check if you both have a connection and if they want to go on a second date. You may want to wait until the second day after your first date to build up the excitement and not seem too eager.

Ask Between Two and Five Days After the First Date It’s much more polite to ask for that second date within the first two days if you’re genuinely interested in the person. This length of time easily conveys your genuine interest in the person.

Should you wait five days to ask on a second date? If the person you’re dating is popular, you probably shouldn’t wait five days to ask on a second date; they will most likely have moved on by now. Waiting five days just doesn’t show much interest in the person. They might perceive that it means you think they’re just hanging around so you ask them out on a second date. They might feel offended and reject you for being too slow to ask.

Dating Cultural and Social Dynamics The time frame for asking for a second date can also be influenced by your culture, region, social circles, and the dynamics within your own peer group. Consider these influences when planning to ask on a second date.

Upcoming Event or Celebration One thing to keep in mind when planning to ask on a second date is any upcoming community or event/celebration. If there’s a community event or festival happening within a few days or a week of your first date, you might want to ask about that second date sooner than usual. You should be aware that other people may also ask for your date for the event/party and you could lose your chance of a second date.

Sometimes we include products that we think will be useful to our readers. If you make a purchase through links on this site, we may receive a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

Dating a guy you like is a refreshing and romantic experience.

It’s hard to make meaningful connections these days, and finding someone to click with is a great thing.

But what if he doesn’t feel what you did?

Then you ask yourself: will he ask me out on a second date or not? Here are the signs that he…

Will he ask me on a second date? 16 surprising signs to look out for

1) He’s shy about asking you out the first time

Will he ask me on a second date?

It’s something you might be wondering about, first date wasn’t so bad, but wasn’t a home run either.

One of the best ways to find out is if he was shy about asking you out the first time.

The reason this can be a surprising signal that he’s interested in more than one date is that guys who are very smooth at asking you out can turn out to be gamers.

Confidence is great and all, but a guy who flawlessly asks you out might think more of a physical encounter.

That’s why sometimes it’s even a good sign if he’s a bit nervous when he asks you out for the first time.

It means he genuinely wants to date you and is probably interested in more than just sex.

2) He will tell you his schedule in advance

Guys aren’t always the most subtle of creatures, and sometimes he’ll just blurt out his schedule on your date.

This is basically the male equivalent of telling you he wants to see you again.

Is it a bit overzealous in some cases? Honestly yes.

But it can also be warm and sweet.

By pointing you to what he’s up to, he sets the stage for more to happen in the future and basically gives you a preview of his commitments.

As dating coach Ronnie Ryan writes:

“The right man for you will want to get to know you. He will be happy to spend time with you and will do anything to make that time. “You would never wonder how long you have to wait for a second date as he will be the one to make the move. He keeps in touch every few days. “He will text and call. He’ll ask ahead of time even if he’s driving out of town so he knows he can see you when he gets back. “His consistency is a true sign of his intent.”

3) He will make you feel that what is supposed to happen will happen

One of the strongest signs that a second date is coming doesn’t come from him.

It comes from you

When you leave the first date with a strong intuition that there will be another date, it’s often because you’ve worked on your relationship with yourself and it’s strong.

You are not dependent on his interest, and that tends to make him all the more interested.

The truth is that most of us overlook an incredibly important element in our lives:

The relationship we have with ourselves.

I learned about it from the shaman Rudá Iandê. In his candid, free video on nurturing healthy relationships, he gives you the tools to put yourself at the center of your world.

It covers some of the biggest mistakes most of us make in our relationships, like codependency habits and unhealthy expectations. Mistakes most of us make without realizing it.

So why am I recommending Rudá’s life-changing advice?

Well, he uses techniques derived from ancient shamanic teachings, but he puts his own modern twist on them. He may be a shaman, but his love experiences were not much different from yours and mine.

Until he found a way to overcome these common problems. And he wants to share that with you.

So if you’re ready to make that change today and start cultivating healthy, loving relationships, relationships you know you deserve, check out his simple, genuine advice.

Click here to watch the free video.

4) He was nervous and awkward on the first date

Pay attention not only to his behavior when he asked you out, but also to how he acted on the first date.

Was he Mr. Cool putting his arm around you and wanting a kiss at just the right moment?

Or was he more of a Mr. Bumble, tripping over his own shoelaces trying to open the door on your way to the restaurant for dinner?

There’s nothing wrong if he’s been pretty confident, after all, that can be attractive.

But one of the main signs he’s more of a romantic is that he’s not fully composed.

He has some loose ends and takes things as they come and still finds his feet.

On the other hand, if the first date was basically one-sided, don’t wait a second.

As Ni’Kesia Pannell puts it:

“If you’ve approached your date with an inviting sense of apprehension and expectation, only to be disinterested by them, perhaps you should prepare yourself for this to be your only date with them.”

5) He will be a gentleman when it comes to money

Guys looking for a quick fling or cheap entertainment often turn out to be quite stingy.

A friend of mine ended up with a guy who refused to pay $5 for her drink and a slice of pizza after their date.

Needless to say, she didn’t go home with him that night.

This despicable behavior is more common than many people realize and I know as a guy I was shocked too.

Even if he was only interested in something short-term, why wouldn’t this fairly wealthy middle-aged guy spend $5 after a night out?

Well, besides being a sign of a selfish guy you want to avoid, not paying usually means he doesn’t value you at heart.

If you’re looking for a sign that he’s asking you out again, look at his behavior around money and be a gentleman.

Does he at least offer to pay for your date, or dodge the subject?

This can tell you a lot about whether a second date is on the horizon.

6) He will compliment you, but not in a shabby way

Another good sign that there’s going to be a second date is if he actually says nice things to you that aren’t just sexual or lead to sex.

It’s okay if some of those compliments are about being attractive, fascinating, or sexy.

It’s all about how he delivers them and what kind of response he’s hoping for.

If he’s pushy and classless, then you have a good sign he’s looking for a one nighter.

But if his compliments are thoughtful and genuine, then it’s more likely that he’s hoping to get to know you better and date you again in the future.

“You can be sure that he will tell you how beautiful you are.

“But the manner will be more admiring than the slightly horny compliment at the end of the date that’s triggered by accidentally touching your hand,” explains Vasundara R.

sharp observation.

7) The first date doesn’t end with sex or physical intimacy

If you have sex on your first date, that’s up to you.

I’m not here to monitor your private life.

But what I’m trying to say is that sex too quickly can be one of the biggest things that leads to going on just one date.

Or have future dates that are…not dates…but are actually booty calls.

If the first date goes a little slower, it’s much more likely that it’ll have time to evolve into something that’s less about sex and more about getting to know each other better.

Could you have wild sex and also develop a deep connection leading to date two?

Of course.

I’m just saying that overall, if you jump into bed on the first, you’re less likely to have a second date worth talking about.

8) Would you like to know more about your situation?

While this article explores the top signs that he’s about to ask you out on a second date, it can be helpful to talk to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you’ll get the advice that fits your life and experiences…

Relationship Hero is a website where highly qualified relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations. They are a very popular resource for people with love troubles.

how should i know

Well, I turned to her a few months ago while going through my own crisis. After being lost in thought for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it going again.

My coach was very nice, sensitive and really helpful!

In just minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get advice specific to your situation.

Click here to start.

9) He forgets his phone on his first date with you

My dad once joked that in the future our phones would be hardwired to us or part of our biology.

I’m sure that day isn’t too far off or already here with biohacking technology, but the irony is that it’s not necessary anyway.

Almost everyone I know under the age of 60 never goes anywhere without their cell phone.

It doesn’t have to be surgically implanted, they’re already hooked anyway.

That’s why it’s really important for him to put his phone down and not look at it on the first date.

“Putting the phone on silent during a date is a big deal. This means that you give this one person your full attention without any interest in interrupting or interfering with your time together.

“If a guy is with you and doesn’t itch to check your score on a sports game (or text another girl), feel lucky.

“He’s probably into you and wants to see you again,” writes Sean Abrams.

10) You two can’t shut up on the first date

Another big sign that a second date is coming is when you both can’t shut up on the first date.

The conversation flows like a wild river and time flies by.

It doesn’t matter what the topic is.

What matters is whether you really want to talk to him and whether you find him interesting to be with.

Whatever the reason you want to speak, the most important thing is that you do it.

As Jillian Kramer notes:

“Fluent conversation without awkward silences, one that focuses on shared interests and lively debate is also a great indicator that you’re headed for Date #2.”

11) His eye contact with you is extraordinary

Eyes are the window to the soul, and sometimes they’re a crystal ball for a second date.

If he’s staring at you regularly, then chances are he’s feeling the connection to you.

This is his way of looking into your soul and also finding out the emotional connection.

He wants to get to know you better and is physically and personally attracted to you.

Eye contact is one of those things that really gets underestimated.

It can be the beginning of a lifelong love, or it can be unsatisfactory, strange, and wrong.

Look at the story his eyes tell. It can tell you a lot.

12) He is looking for something more serious

One of the biggest signs that you’re being asked out on a second date is when he’s looking for something more serious.

Even if sparks didn’t fly on the first date, his intentions have a lot to do with whether he asks you out.

If he’s looking for something more serious, he’ll be much more likely to ask you out on a second date in the near future and see if you have something between the two of you.

Carina Hsieh and Emily Johnson have a good article on this:

“According to data from Match.com’s 2015 survey of more than 5,500 people, single men and women who are actively seeking commitment are 74 percent more likely to give a date a second chance. “Also, a whole half of men and women believe that going from a pretty okay first date can help someone grow on them, and when you think about it, they’re right.”

13) He wants to know your story – even the bad parts

Another sign that there will be a second date is when this guy is very curious on the first date.

Does he want to know every part of your story, including the bad parts?

This is a sign that he not only wants to get under your skirt, but also in your heart.

As Marissa writes:

“Guys don’t devote themselves to getting to know those details for anybody. “If a guy doesn’t commit to the date, he won’t waste as much time getting to know you better, and he definitely won’t seem really interested in what you have to say. “You should be able to tell if he’s interested in your story.”

14) He’s trying to see if you’re interested in someone else

Another sign that he wants a second date is that he’s trying to peek into your own dating life.

If you are a private individual or feel that you are in need, it may be inconvenient.

But you can be sure that he wouldn’t care if you hooked up with someone else if he wasn’t potentially interested.

It’s not what a guy just cruising for a few kicks asks for.

It’s what a guy who has a potentially deeper interest and is already thinking about asking you out on a second date asks.

15) He talks about past bad dates

Sometimes guys will talk about bad past dates to contrast how they feel about you.

They probably wouldn’t tell you if they hated dating you too.

They share war stories to relate to you.

And it’s a good sign that they will enjoy the date and try to ask you out on a second date.

16) Your sides hurt after the first date

Lastly—and very importantly—if the first date was full of laughs, a big sign that there’s going to be a second date is.

If your sides hurt from laughing after the first date, then that’s a strong indicator that he had a great time too and wants to see you again.

There’s no way to laugh too much these days, so if he breaks out and you do too, it could definitely be the first phase of a real romance.

As Tanya Harell says:

“Laughing with someone is a surefire way to tell if you’re having a good time. “Maybe it’s laughing at dad jokes or funny work stories. The content doesn’t matter. “What matters is that you’re comfortable enough to let go and have a laugh together. “That’s why one of those subtle, super-fast ways to build attraction between the two of you is making people laugh — even if his joke wasn’t the funniest.”

When will he make his move?

When a guy asks you out on a second date, how long does he usually wait?

It depends on the man, but a day or two to a week is standard.

But if you really want to find out if he’s interested in seeing you again, don’t leave it to chance.

Instead, talk to a relationship coach who can give you the answers you’re looking for.

I mentioned Relationship Hero earlier, it’s the best resource I’ve found for love coaches. They have seen it all and know how to deal with all the complicated love situations.

In just minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get customized solutions to your problems.

Click here to check them out.

Can a relationship coach help you too? If you want specific advice about your situation, speaking to a relationship coach can be very helpful. I know this from my own experience… I contacted Relationship Hero a few months ago when I was going through a rough patch in my relationship. After being lost in thought for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it going again. If you have never heard of Relationship Hero, it is a site where highly qualified relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations. In just minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get advice tailored to your situation. I was blown away by how nice, empathetic and really helpful my coach was. Click here to start.

It’s not always obvious how the person is on the first date…

…or is it?

There are many red flags that will appear if you pay attention. These bad first date signs are like a window into the person’s soul. They’ll make you think, “Ohhhh boy, this isn’t going to end well”. You want to give them a chance, you really do! But… these characters are just too bright.

What are you?

1. They were late

Sometimes there’s traffic and sometimes things pop up.

But:

You must be wondering how committed they are to sticking to the date when they are late on the first one.

If they’re late on a first date, then they’re probably sluggish with other things. This can be a warning sign, such as when they’re pursuing goals – if they’re often late, they’re probably not as ambitious as you expected.

2. You are fortunately unaware of things

Things like:

Order large meals

Being rude to people

Don’t be careful

Have you ever gone on a dinner date where they ordered something stupidly expensive? It’s like, come on.

There’s a kind of unspoken amount that we all have in our heads and for some reason they don’t realize it.

This could be a sign that they will be awkward about many things.

Being rude is also a bad sign, because who honestly verbally abuses someone, especially on a date? Plus when they’re way too focused on something else, like you’re a third wheel for their outing.

3. They take out their phone

Look… You can take a quick peek at your phone when you go to the bathroom or when you have downtime.

But:

Don’t have your phone out

Don’t have your phone out

Don’t have your phone out

It’s just rude.

You seem too busy doing something else. They don’t respect your time, so why should you respect theirs? It’s time to get out of there.

4. You become too pushy

We’ve all had bad dates. That’s fact.

The worse types are the ones that try to get you home as soon as possible.

No thank you.

That they are aggressively pushy is a bit creepy.

Plus:

You probably won’t listen or engage for the rest of the first date anyway. You have one thing in mind.

5. They talk about their ex over and over again

Some people get along well with their exes. That’s cool.

But this is a date night… come on, really?

You can’t talk about your ex or compare things like a broken record. You are hung.

Do you think they are that interested or committed to you when they can’t move on with their ex? It’s time to run.

6. You just don’t feel it

That feeling you get when you misjudged her.

You seemed cool when you started talking.

But now?

They’re really boring when you finally get together.

Or they’re super edgy or overly bold – not like you’ve met/know them every day.

This is one of those good dating signs gone bad:

At least you can be honest that they’re not your type

You can stop things now before they feel too serious

Tell them you don’t feel it. That’s the honest and mature thing.

You’ll save everyone a lot of heartache and money by breaking it off early rather than trying to make something of it.

7. There’s a fight…already

Can’t figure out where to eat?

Are you arguing about splitting the bill?

Can’t you get them to agree on things because they’ve already ghosted you in their mind?

uh-oh

There’s really no reason to go a minute further when you’re arguing or fighting on a first date.

Go out. Out now.

8. You keep bringing up sensitive issues

I would chalk this up as ignorance, but this needs its own subject.

If they keep talking about a topic you’re not comfortable with.

Or worse:

They beat you up for doing something or telling them something.

It’s a bad sign if they attack you. This is a sign that you might be a manipulative guy and you don’t want any of it.

9. They try to “play” you.

That pickup artistry crap.

Read this up if you haven’t because it’s goofy and hilarious.

Basically, they are trying to “play” you using pseudo-psychology. They take jabs to get up from you or wear something weird. The only thing you probably need to know is that they’re trying to hook up – because that’s what the “game” is about. That’s manipulative. Have none of it.

10. There is a lot of stillness… like… a lot

It’s okay to have an awkward silence.

We do it because we’re nervous.

But it’s disconcerting when they’re struggling to hold a conversation.

You ask a generally good question or have a nice comment and they’re like a wall… just blank and not all there. That spark is not there.

Some people are better speakers online, over text messages, or on the phone. I can’t fault them for being quiet during the date.

You have to think long-term with this person.

Could you handle not speaking out loud about things? What if things get tough and they close? Bad omens.

11. There is nothing physical going on

You don’t want someone overly aggressive and pushy…

…but you don’t want a dead fish either.

Some physical contact is nice, whether it’s something very simple like holding hands or a goodnight hug.

Hell, even brushing close together is all good.

If they avoid your hug, then something is wrong and it may not be worth going to the follow-up appointment.

12. They’re really sloppy

It all depends on where you are going.

You don’t have to go wild with an arcade date. You don’t even have to be decent for dinner when you’re both like that.

If they look smelly, unkempt, and just plain ragged, then they probably aren’t thinking much about the date. Maybe they don’t think much about you either.

Being a slob can also be when they get too stuffed… drink or do things to the point of embarrassment. Or even if they’re gross when they eat or behave, which makes you wonder how much they really care about themselves, you know?

13. They’re boring as hell

Dating is about getting to know each other.

When they come back with lazy replies, it’s like getting a text message back that says “k.”

Boring, lame and going nowhere.

The same is true when they are lazy and seem bored with the questions they are asking you.

If they can’t be disturbed, then why bother with them?

14. You are directionless

There are good date questions like:

What have you always wanted to do?

Where do you see yourself in the coming years?

What is something that got you particularly excited about the future?

You know… those questions that help you see if they’re going in the same direction. Or at least do you have similar goals that the two of you could work on together.

Buuuut:

If they can’t think of answers or you hit back with some semblance of direction, you probably shouldn’t expect much progress by dating them.

Add to Bad Date Signs list!

I’ll leave the comments open if you have other first date warning signs. I could continue this list endlessly and will likely add to it over time. But I think that gives more than enough to work with.

Feel free to share a story about a date gone wrong or the bad signs you notice and what you did.

It’s perfectly normal to show up on a date with the highest hopes. Maybe that person will end up being a good friend, a fun date, or something more. So, whether you like it or not, you’re probably on the lookout for subtle signs that your date isn’t going well. You know, as a sneaky way of checking your odds.

Of course, it’s better to try to relax and have fun. And don’t worry too much about the future. (I can’t stress this enough.) But it’s always easier said than done. When you do find yourself chatting, it’s next to impossible not to read your date for signs of interest and compatibility.

When things are going well, you can probably tell by their body language. “The body language is enormous. It makes up 97 percent of communication [while] verbal communication makes up just 3 percent,” psychologist Nicole Martinez, Psy.D., LCPC, said in an email to Bustle. “Do they look you in the eye, do they touch you often, do they lean in your direction? This is a clear sign of interest and a desire to be close to you.”

But what if there’s no compatibility or hope for a second date? Read on for some subtle signs your date isn’t going well.

1. You do not appear to be present

Your first dates should be completely phone-free, especially since you both can’t stop talking or staring deep into each other’s eyes. (Okay, maybe nothing too dramatic, but you get my meaning.) However, when things aren’t going well, one of you might be looking for a breather. “Distractions like texting, talking on the phone, or taking long bathroom breaks are surefire cues, both of which you don’t click on,” Victoria Vogt told HowStuffWorks.com. If that’s the case, it’s probably best to call it a night.

2. They lean away

Back to body language and how it’s pretty much a dead sign. As I said above, when you’re standing on top of each other, there’s going to be a lot of leaning forward, eye contact, and “accidental” hand touches. You know, cute, touchy stuff like that. But if you’re not into each other, there’s going to be a total lack of physical connection. Maybe the worst of all? As Martinez says, “The date [will] lean away from you instead of towards you.” Definitely not a good sign.

3. They talk about their ex all the time

Not only is it not fun to hear your date gossiping about his or her ex, but it’s usually a sign of something deeper. They’re either still clinging to their past love, or they’re still furious about the breakup — and may even share some less than glowing reviews. These are two things you definitely don’t want to deal with, so maybe it’s best to move on.

4. They won’t let you speak

Talking could be a delightful sign that your date is nervous. However, it could also mean that they are not interested in getting to know you as a person. “They don’t ask questions to get to know you and don’t pretend to be very interested,” says Martinez. If they want to go on and on about their life and ignore the fact that you exist, then let them — they probably aren’t someone you want to be with anyway.

5. Or they’re ridiculously quiet

On the other hand is a date that is painfully quiet. It could be nerves again. And yet two people who are comfortable and happy will eventually find something to talk about. “Communication is key to healthy personal relationships, but like many things in life, there has to be a balance,” Vogt said. And I couldn’t agree more.

6. One or both of you throw back the drinks

Pretty much everyone drinks on a first date. Alcohol is a social lubricant, after all, so don’t judge yourself at all if alcohol is involved in your night out. However, judge the night when it appears alcohol is being used as a coping mechanism. You might both throw them back because there is nothing interesting to say. And of course that’s not a good sign.

7. You are rude to the server

According to Patrick Allan at Lifehacker.com, if your date is at a restaurant, as many do, acknowledging how your partner treats the server can be very helpful. If he or she is nice and polite, then everything is fine. But if not? It can be a sign that they’re kind of awful. It’s best to get away from them as soon as possible.

8. They don’t point to the future

As I said above, please don’t sweat your future, especially on the first date. This is a time to get to know the other person; not the time to mentally choose your wedding colors. However, you should be on the lookout for signs that your date is looking to the future. As Martinez says, “The future may be another date.” Basically, you’re looking for clues that this person wants to see you again, even if it’s just for another round of drinks.

9. They don’t ask follow-up questions

If your date is interested in getting to know you, he or she will focus entirely on these follow-up questions to keep the conversation going. A lack of follow-up questions is a sign your conversation (and your date) is going downhill fast, according to a video posted by Kevin McShane on Buzzfeed. They might respond with something super interesting like “That’s cool” or just stare blankly. However, zero attempts to get to know you does not bode well.

10. You just don’t feel it

Signs or no signs, it’s okay to just not be interested in your date. If you have a nagging sense of boredom or an incredible desire to check your phone every five seconds, so be it. This person isn’t for you, and that’s totally fine.

11. The date ends early

If the two of you are meant to be together, chances are you’ll be laughing and drinking and telling stories late into the evening. Unless? Well, it might be an early night. According to McShane, keep an open ear for things like, “Well, I’m having a busy day tomorrow.” It’s the classic get me out of here line and a sign that the first date was probably the last.

Keep in mind that this isn’t heartbreaking news and the interest (or disinterest) obviously goes both ways. Remember that dating is supposed to be fun and light-hearted. However, knowing a few signs that the date isn’t going well can help, if only to keep you from getting bored of a completely pointless second date.

Images: Pexels (12)

Get expert help if you’re having trouble figuring out if he’s interested. Click here to chat with someone online now.

When we desperately want something to be true, it can be very easy to convince ourselves that it is true.

When you like a guy, there are always little things here and there that you can take as a sign he likes you, too…

…although there are far more warning signs telling you the opposite!

And you probably have some nice, supportive friends who will tell you that you are right.

If you tell your buddies about a conversation you had with a guy you like, they’ll probably tell you that yes, that eye contact he gave you means there’s something between you.

Mainly because your friends think you’re great and can’t understand why others see it differently.

With the help of our friends, we’re pretty good at convincing ourselves that there’s something about a guy, even when it’s obvious he’s not into you.

It’s our way of staying firmly in our hopeful bubble because we think that’s the best place to be.

Things are pretty exciting while we’re there, if a bit stressful and very up and down.

And we think that holding on to hope means there’s still a chance something could happen to the guy we like.

But I’m here to tell you that this bubble is not the best place for you.

In fact, the sooner you burst that bubble and get back to earth, the more likely it is that you’ll open your eyes to the other awesome guys around you and stop wasting your time and energy worrying about a guy who isn’t interested.

So if you’re looking for a wake-up call, you’ve found it.

This might sound like tough love at some points, but this is exactly what you need to stop spending hours analyzing his text messages and get on with your life.

Read on for 18 clear signs he’s not into you and it’s time to say goodbye.

1. He never contacts you first.

When we like someone we all try to keep our cool, but most of us fail, male or female.

If he likes you, he will be very interested in talking to you whenever he has a free minute.

If he likes you, he will think of you and he will want to know if he is interested in you.

But if you always make contact first, that’s a sign that while he’s happy to chat with you when you initiate something, he’s not keen enough to reach out to you.

2. He makes you wait.

Okay, so there’s always a chance he’s so deluded that he thinks “keeping cool” will work and you can’t resist his charm if he waits three days before texting you back .

And there could be all sorts of other excuses.

But basically, if he’s constantly trying to play hard to wait hours or days before replying to your messages even if he’s read them, he probably just doesn’t want to talk to you that much.

3. He repeatedly breaks off.

If the two of you are together, then one or the other rejection is legitimate.

When he tells you his parrot died or his grandmother is sick or he has a cold, believe him.

Sometimes life gets crazy and we don’t have the time to see people no matter how much we would like to.

But if he repeatedly cancels you out and isn’t careful to reschedule for the next possible opportunity, that’s a big warning sign that you should be running for the hills.

One minute he seems super interested in you and really clingy, and the next he just isn’t.

Chances are the sharp moments will come when he’s feeling lonely or insecure, and when he’s back on a balanced keel you’ll have served your purpose until the next time his ego needs a massage.

If he keeps trying to pick you up and drop you off, he’s not the one for you.

5. You’re always the one making plans.

Just like you always text him first, you’re always the one who suggests that you two should do something together.

He’s happy to agree when he has no other plans, but he won’t make an effort to organize things with you or think of any date ideas that you might enjoy.

6. He’s a flirt.

If he charmed you with his flirting skills and confidence, he probably wouldn’t be shy about asking you out or telling you how he feels about you.

So if he doesn’t do any of these things, you can assume he was just flirting with you with no intention of taking it further.

7. He has never shown a hint of jealousy.

Now, of course, the last thing you want is to get involved with a jealous and possessive man. The guy who will try to control you or who can’t trust you. Just no.

But a little jealousy here and there is a very good sign.

If you see a guy you’re dating talking to another woman, or hear him mention an ex, chances are you’ll be at least a little jealous.

If you want to test whether or not he’s into you, you could try mentioning that you’re going to lunch with your best friend and see what his reaction is.

We really encourage you to seek professional help from one of Relationship Hero’s experts as counseling can be very effective in helping you understand this whole situation so you can do what is right for you.

8. He breads you.

Breadcrumbing is when a person doesn’t really like you but still wants someone around when they need company. They want someone on the back burner.

A great example of this is when he tends to check out your Instagram stories or like your posts online to make sure you’re still thinking about him with minimal effort on his part while he never really gets in touch with you .

9. You don’t get his full attention.

When you’re together, he always keeps an eye on his cell phone or looks over the shoulder of the pretty waitress.

Everyone can seem distracted at times when something big is going on in their life that is taking up their headspace.

But if they constantly don’t really seem to be in the room when you’re together, you can safely conclude that you’re not a priority for him.

10. They haven’t met each other’s friends yet.

He hasn’t bothered to introduce you to anyone he cares about, nor has he bothered to meet any of your best friends.

If he seems to be trying hard to keep you away from his friends and hasn’t shown any curiosity about meeting the buddies you keep telling stories about, he probably has no plans to get serious.

11. You can’t think of nice things he’s done for you.

If you like him, I’m willing to bet you’ve already made countless small gestures that would prove it to him if he were open about it.

But he isn’t and he hasn’t reciprocated. When you sit down and think about it, you can’t think of a nice thing he’s ever done for you.

12. You don’t really know anything about him.

If he hasn’t opened up to you at all, that’s not a good sign. He keeps the conversation superficial and there are no cracks in his armor yet.

13. And he doesn’t really know anything about you.

He doesn’t know about you because he didn’t ask. Because he doesn’t care.

He also doesn’t remember the things you’ve voluntarily shared about yourself.

Conversations tend to be quite mundane and centered on him, showing no interest in your day or life events.

14. He asked you for dating advice about other women.

This one should be pretty self-explanatory, but if he’s asking you for tips about his love life, he’s not interested in you.

Trust me, he’s not just trying to make you jealous. You really are in the friend zone.

15. He told you he’s not looking for a relationship.

Yes, I know sometimes people don’t seek relationships but suddenly they meet one and fall in love anyway.

But that doesn’t happen very often. Most of the time, if he’s not looking for a relationship, it doesn’t matter how amazing you are, you’re not going to change his mind.

Other warning signs are when he tells you he just wants to see where things are going, or that he is currently concentrating on his career, or that he wants to work on your friendship before he takes things to the next level, blah, blah blah

He might even believe this stuff to be true, but if he really likes you then none of that matters.

16. Your relationship is based almost entirely on sex.

They never see each other unless sex is involved. Most of your interactions happen late at night. And the sex is pretty much focused on his needs, not yours.

17. You couldn’t turn to him when you needed help.

You would not feel comfortable reaching out to him when you are in a difficult situation and need a helping hand.

18. You just know.

If something deep down tells you that he doesn’t like you like that, then he probably doesn’t like you like that.

Don’t crush those feelings. Listen to what your gut is trying to tell you and move on before you get hurt.

It probably won’t be easy, but in a few months you’ll look back and thank god you won’t have wasted your energy on him anymore, and you’ll have a hard time remembering what you ever liked about him anyway.

Still not sure if he likes you or not? It’s not an easy situation to be in and it could be even more difficult when you don’t have anyone to talk to about it. Talking to someone is a great way to get your thoughts and worries out of your head so you can process them.

We really encourage you to speak to an experienced relationship professional and not a friend or family member. Why? Because they are trained to help people in situations like yours. You can be the ear that listens and the voice that gives you thoughtful advice that will help you decipher his behavior and the signals he is sending you.

A good place to get help is the Relationship Hero website – this is where you can connect with a relationship counselor by phone, video or instant message.

While you can try to handle this situation yourself, asking for help will make it much easier to get the best outcome for you. And if it’s affecting your mental well-being, it’s an important matter to resolve.

Too many people try to muddle through and try their best to solve problems they never really get a handle on. If at all possible in your circumstances, speaking to a relationship professional is 100% the best way forward.

Click here to learn more about Relationship Hero’s service and the onboarding process.

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