How To Win Every Argument Pdf? Quick Answer

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In the second edition of this witty and infectious book, Madsen Pirie builds on his guide to using – and even abusing – logic to win arguments. With new chapters on how to win arguments in writing, in the pub, with a friend, on Facebook and in 140 Characters (on Twitter), Pirie offers the complete guide to triumphing in arguments ranging from the everyday to the serious. With devastating examples, he identifies all the most common fallacies that are popularly used in argumentation. We all like to think of ourselves as clear-headed and logical—but all readers will find errors in this book of their own making. The author shows you how to simultaneously strengthen your own thinking and recognize the weaknesses in other people’s arguments. And, even more mischievously, Pirie also shows how to be intentionally illogical – and get away with it. This book will drive you insanely smart: your family, friends, and enemies will all wish you had never read it. Editor’s Warning: This book is dangerous in the wrong hands. We recommend that you arm yourself with it and keep away from others. Only buy this book as a gift if you are sure you can trust the recipient.

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Whether it’s the design of the new product, the message of the new advertising campaign or the strategic direction of the company, the hairs on the back of the neck can stand on end – and the feathers can be ruffled. What can you do to convince people of your idea?

Some people love the drama of a good debate, while others avoid conflict at all costs. But as soon as an argument starts, everyone seems to have one thing in common – we all want to win. Winning an argument definitely takes some skill, but getting it right can feel so very satisfying, and it can even help you improve your life.

The world is full of opportunities to argue. You may get into a disagreement with your boss, a heated political debate with friends, an argument with your SO, or even a scuffle with someone in line at the grocery store. It seems everyone gets itchy after a fight, so knowing how to handle yourself is a good idea.

Of course, it’s not about winning for the sake of winning, but it feels good to come out on top after a debate because it means your point of view has been heard. Maybe you convinced your old-fashioned grandfather why choosing the professional is a good thing, or maybe you convinced that person in the grocery store line to stop slicing in front of everyone. See? You can change the world, one winning argument at a time.

The key is to argue effectively. Here are some tips on how to win an argument, or at least help it de-escalate into a more manageable conversation.

1. Be Confident AF

Even if you know you’re right, arguing with someone can raise serious trust issues. This other person doubts you or doesn’t like what you have to say, and now it’s your job to convince them otherwise. It can leave you feeling shaky at best and downright panicky at worst. Being confident can help counteract these jittery feelings, so go into an argument strong behind what you have to say — even if you have to fake it. As Patrick Allan noted at Lifehacker.com, “If you want to be the winner of the argument, act like you are. Speak confidently, be concise and try not to repeat yourself. Appear that you really know what is right at the beginning, even if you don’t have all the facts. Having facts to support your stance certainly helps, but being persuasive matters more.”

2. Make sure you’re listening

It can be easy to shine during an argument and wait your turn to speak, but that’s not the point of a debate, is it? You both have something to say, so take the time to listen to each other. Listening can help resolve an argument and can even help convince the other person that you are right. According to an article by Julie Weingarden in the Huffington Post, if you’re going to convince someone to go your way, you first need to hear what they want. This can facilitate a win-win argument where everyone gets their way.

3. Keep your emotions in check

You may get angry during an argument, but throwing a plate across the room won’t do much to your credibility. When you lose control of your emotions — yelling, swearing, throwing things — it becomes difficult for the other person to take you seriously. As Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., noted in Psychology Today, “If you lose your temper, you will only anger your opponent, which will further increase his or her anger, and the process can only escalate upwards. Don’t worry about coming off as weak if you calm down in the middle of an argument – you’ll win points by showing you can exercise self-control. Who knows, the argument may even end instantly if you’re both taking Have a more sane perspective.” Seems worth it to me.

4. Respect their opinion (or at least pretend)

Nothing silences another person like being treated with disrespect. When you argue with someone, show them that you respect their opinion. As Allan notes, “Listen to what they have to say and absorb it. Don’t shake your head while they’re talking, interrupt them mid-sentence, or look away as if you don’t care what they’re saying. ” When the other person feels respected, they’re less likely to contradict you out of anger, which means you’re more likely to win the fight.

5. Stay on topic

Don’t you hate it when you’re arguing with someone and they bring up something that happened a year ago? It’s annoying because it takes focus away from the actual topic and makes things way too messy. So don’t do it yourself. When you bring up unrelated things from the past, just vent and the argument spirals out of control. According to Allan, “Focus on the topic at hand and keep your emotions away from it.”

6. Know that there is a solution

If you want to win an argument, you need to be able to see a clear ending to a fight. Fighting for the sake of fighting is not good and wastes everyone’s time. Instead, imagine the argument resolving peacefully, and begin to steer the conversation in that direction. According to Krauss Whitbourne, “…you may see a way out of a seemingly locked battle of wills if you believe that a box can help all sides find a solution. Such an aha moment in an argument can lead directly to victory.”

The next time you find yourself in a debate with your partner, an argument with a friend, or even a disagreement with a stranger on the street, keep these tips in mind so you can win (or at least end) the argument in the most peaceful way possible .

Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Giphy (6)

The Road Back to School How we adapt our routines, habits and mindset to a new normal. See More →

How to Argue with Everyone, a guide to getting what you want without making enemies is part of our Back to School series.

In a perfect world, the answer to “How do I argue with a narcissist?” would be…no.

But unfortunately we do not live in this world. Whether the person is a partner, parent, sibling, friend, neighbor, boss, or colleague (or maybe even a stranger), we all have at least one narcissist in our lives — and most of us have several. This is the best way to handle a conflict with them.

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What is a narcissist?

Let’s start with the basics. First, narcissism is not a diagnosis; it is a pattern. And it’s a pattern marked by claims, arrogance, lack of empathy, seeking validation and admiration, sensitivity to criticism, grandiosity, poor insight, and difficulty controlling emotions, especially when frustrated or disappointed.

In some cases, narcissistic individuals can also exist in a chronic state of victimhood and are grumpy, resentful, petty, unruly, and constantly hurt. There are different styles and degrees of narcissism, and it exists on a continuum — from milder, annoying, and arrogant to more threatening, malicious, and dangerous. Narcissists are insecure at their core, and the way they argue serves to protect their fragile ego.

Why does it feel impossible to argue with a narcissist?

First, it’s important to note that fighting in and of itself is not unhealthy; When done right, it resembles a healthy, mutual, respectful debate. An opportunity to disagree, express a position or a feeling and ideally end up with a solution or at least a compromise. None of this will happen to a narcissist.

A major reason is the narcissist’s penchant for gaslighting. Gaslighting is the denial of another person’s reality. In its simplest form, it says things like “That never happened,” “Stop making such a big deal out of it,” or “You have no right to think that way.” Gaslighting is typically part of a larger distraction pattern – you are so confused by the gaslighting that you are pulled away from the initial linear reasoning.

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With healthy arguments, a peaceful conclusion is often achieved simply by a person taking responsibility for their role in a situation. This will not happen to a narcissist. Narcissistic personality styles are also associated with blame. If they’re not trying to blame you for the problem at hand, they’re blaming someone else.

A big part of this is the narcissistic obsession with winning, which can manifest itself in relentless bickering, vindictiveness, deception, manipulation, and taking pleasure in seeing others lose. There are also some unique elements to the narcissistic communication style, most notably something called “word salad,” when the narcissist simply starts coming at you with a series of unrelated statements meant to confuse, exhaust, and confuse you.

Finally, if they don’t like how your argument is going or how it went, they may simply choose to stop talking, in the form of blocking, storming off, and remaining silent (or some variation like just writing) for days or weeks. taking notes, texting you, or speaking through other people).

So how do you argue with a narcissist?

“Choose your battles.

Most arguments with narcissists are a waste of time because it won’t be possible to change their mind or get them to agree with you. Avoid them if possible.

Of course, avoidance isn’t always possible, so it’s important to be aware of the struggles you’re willing to put up with. These may be those pertaining to the welfare of your children, integrity in a professional matter, or finances. It may make sense to endure their psychological beatings for the right problem, but it’s not worth it on a daily basis.

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Keep your voice calm and stay calm.

When the narcissist rages and screams, don’t hit his volume. Instead, keep the calm and steady tone that a person would use when trying to reason with a rampaging child. If you’re so frustrated that you start yelling so loud, you might find that they suddenly stop yelling themselves and calmly say to you, “Hey, you need to calm down – why are you so upset?” ” This leaves you feeling disoriented, defensive, and tempted to argue about whose reality is correct.

Don’t defend or explain yourself.

Trying to explain or defend your point of view in an argument with a narcissist is a waste of time. Remember these simple words every time you argue with a narcissist: THEY DON’T LISTEN. They have something to say and a distorted reality to uphold; Their defenses and explanations will only leave you confused and distracted if they dismiss and deny them.

Your attacks will feel personal, and so will most arguments. But narcissists tend to be equal opportunity offenders, arguing mercilessly with everyone. Make your goal for the argument clear – because some goals are impossible. You won’t get them to your mindset; You won’t convince them to take responsibility; You will not persuade them to do anything. If you keep reminding yourself that all they have to do is win and don’t care what you or anyone else has to say, detaching yourself a little can help keep the conversation from turning into a hurtful and pointless screeching argument to let that end you are upset and unsettled.

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Hold on to your reality.

Gaslighting only works if you doubt your own reality. Hold on to that and don’t doubt yourself. If they say, “You’re too sensitive” or “That didn’t happen,” don’t try to correct them. Smile inside knowing you’re being gasped and don’t let yourself be drawn into their manipulative abyss.

Always bring it back to the original thread.

Distraction and word salad are ways for the narcissist to sidestep and avoid the initial issue raised in an argument. Distraction means talking about something tangential to the initial argument, which may shift the blame to someone else (“I can’t believe you’re making such a big deal about my being late—especially since you always sleep in late at the weekend and it delays everything; the last two weeks we’ve been late all day because you sleep late at the weekend”) Suddenly, an argument about the problems caused by the narcissist’s lateness creeps into yours sleep habits.

Word salad is even more confusing – they hit you with a bunch of words, e.g. B. “I may be late, but time isn’t money, time with me is money, and I make money by showing up for important things.” And I do important things, important things that change lives. It makes money and it changes lives. And when you think about it that way, the issue isn’t that I’m late, it’s that you’re making a living.” You’re so confused that the initial argument is lost.

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Nod politely after most portions of word salad. And then back to the original topic, the importance of being on time for certain appointments. When you’re fighting for something you care about, keep bringing it back to that point. It will enrage the narcissist, but that’s okay — it means you don’t fall for their distraction and confusion.

Don’t bring up old grievances (even if they do).

Narcissists are masters of grievances and old grudges. They’ll dust off crimes committed years ago or words spoken months ago. They are very sensitive and hold onto their hurt feelings from the past, which they weaponize in the present. If they address a previous complaint, don’t fall into the trap of doing the same. Replies with: “Oh yeah? Well I remember when you said blah blah blah blah allows them to steer you into their distracted and confused narrative. Redirect or just stop engaging.

In such a situation, that might mean saying something like, “Okay, to keep things going, let’s focus on the problem at hand…”. When things are spinning in an endless loop, try empathy and ownership: “Yes, I said that, and I know it was difficult back then…and I want us to resolve what’s happening right now.” , so we can continue.”

Know that it’s okay to physically withdraw (just don’t rush away).

When the argument escalates into shouting, false accusations, gaslighting, and verbiage, it’s okay to calm down. Don’t rush away and don’t slam doors. Feel free to say something like, “This isn’t productive for either of us, so I’ll take a moment,” and then gently step back. This can be a way to de-escalate and save you from getting stuck in an exhausting loop. If you have a strong feeling that the conversation needs to be continued later, perhaps approach it when you’re recharged and more resilient and when you both have the bandwidth to revisit the topic. But be aware that it can end up in the exact same place

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Get boring by not arguing with them.

Narcissists love arguments. They will bait you, push you and goad you. They will drop politically polarizing comments and insults. If you don’t take the bait, it’s actually frustrating for them. When you stop being a source of narcissistic supply that gives them the satisfaction of an argument, they first become angry, then bored, and then (at least for you) let go. Eventually, they will find a new target and quarrel with him.

Bring it to a soft landing.

synonyms

argumentative adjective showing disapproval Someone who is argumentative often argues or contradicts others

contrary adjective someone who is contrary enjoys contradicting others and doing the opposite of what is expected or required

combative adjective, willing to fight, argue, or oppose someone

confrontational adjective showing that you argue or want to argue with someone

quarrelsome adjective tending to quarrel with people

grumpy adjective, always complaining or arguing and easily annoyed

argumentative adjective enjoys arguing with other people

volatile adjective someone who is volatile can become angry or violent easily

truculent adjective formally easily angered and always ready to argue or fight

argumentative adjective formally quick to argue or fight with people

5 ways to end an argument in less than a minute

Pat LaDouceur, PhD, helps people struggling with anxiety, panic, and relationship stress who want to feel more focused and confident. She has a private practice…Read more

The problem with arguments is that they don’t work.

I’m not talking about a good debate where you have some great ideas and they collide and you start a healthy back and forth that feels funny. I mean arguments – where the tension starts to build, the answers get personal, and you go in circles without getting anywhere.

Often this type of conflict takes on a life of its own, where you end up arguing about who does most of the chores or what time you got home last night, while larger issues like caring, teamwork, and appreciation lie beneath the surface.

This is what many of the couples I work with mean when they say, “We can’t communicate.” They start what seems like a simple conversation that escalates within minutes to criticism, blame, hostility, or blockages.

It’s not just couples either – unwanted fights happen in families, between friends and at work. However, with some skill, you can learn to stop them so you can move on to solving the real problems.

What is not working

Have you ever felt like you’re right but the other person doesn’t get it? Or maybe you just need to get something done your way every now and then? For some people, a sense of urgency leads them to use some of these tactics:

speak louder

provide evidence

speak with a tone of urgency

refuse to drop the subject

follow the other person from room to room

However, these strategies create problems. A raised voice can sound like an attack. Evidence provides an opportunity to get distracted by discussing the evidence. Urgency often comes across as impatience or frustration.

If the conversation stays on track, you can keep trying to resolve the issue. If it turns into an argument, you might need a different strategy.

A groundbreaking strategy

One of the kids in our neighborhood has a great way of dealing with frustration when he can’t get his way. Like many six-year-olds, he loves to win. Little kids this age are often obsessed with winning, losing, and rules. If there’s a competition, Frankie obviously wants to win.

Of course, the ball doesn’t always bounce like that. When Frankie plays Four Square with his family, he sometimes misses a few returns. He doesn’t want to jeopardize his victory and his general good mood, so he just announces some new rules and does it with such humor that everyone laughs. This game – the one where Frankie always wins – is known as “Frankieball”.

Adults, or natural, need to apply more finesse. The game of “I win no matter what” isn’t so endearing when you’re twenty or maybe fifty.

Nevertheless, there is a middle way. When the game isn’t working—when discussions veer into contention—it helps to pause and consider some new rules. Sometimes it’s better not to play at all.

New plays

There are many ways to graciously step back from an argument. Here are four simple statements you can use to end an argument 99 percent of the time.

1. “Let me think about it.”

This works partly because it buys time. When you argue, your body prepares itself for a fight: your heart rate increases, your blood pressure increases, you might start sweating. In short, you fall into fight-or-flight mode. Marriage researcher John Gottman calls this “flooding”. Your mental focus narrows, so you think more about the danger ahead than about nuances and opportunities. Because of this, the ability to solve problems decreases.

If no lion is ready to pounce, floods will stand in your way. Taking time to think can help your body calm down. It also sends a message that you care enough to at least consider someone else’s point of view, which is comforting to the other person in the argument.

2. “Maybe you’re right.”

This works because it shows a willingness to compromise. This signal is enough to soften most people’s position and also allow them to step back.

Yet it’s hard to do. Sometimes my clients fear that tact is very close to yielding. From my point of view it’s mostly the opposite: acknowledging someone else’s point of view usually leads to softening. Check out some examples:

Comment: Blue jeans are not suitable for work.

Answer: You may be right.

Comment: This project will be delayed.

Answer: I’m working on it, but you might be right.

Comment: You didn’t handle that very well.

Answer: You may be right.

Note that with this Aikido-like fling, you are not agreeing that the other person is right. They are just acknowledging that there might be something to their point of view and implying that you will consider what they have said.

3. “I see.”

Those are powerful words. They work because they offer empathy. You end an argument by changing its direction—trying to get someone else’s point of view isn’t an argument. They are sometimes difficult to say because pausing to understand can sometimes feel like giving in. It is important to remember:

Understanding doesn’t mean you agree.

Understanding does not mean having to solve the problem.

With the pressure to get your way or get it out of the way, you can just listen.

4. “I’m sorry.”

These words are perhaps the most powerful in the English language. One admin I know says half his job is apologizing to people.

Many people hesitate to apologize because they fear that apologizing is an admission of guilt and acceptance of full responsibility. Unfortunately, this view often makes the problem worse.

Apologies sometimes just express sympathy and caring: “I’m sorry you didn’t get this job.”

More often, however, an apology means taking some responsibility: “I’m sorry my comment came out that way. I did not mean that.”

Sometimes an apology is an admission of full responsibility, and that’s when a heartfelt expression of regret becomes all the more important: “You’re right, I didn’t make it in time. I will do everything I can to ensure that this doesn’t happen again.” Apologies change the game from “It’s not my fault” to “I understand”. Apologies are powerful; They have averted lawsuits, improved business communications and closed personal rifts.

home run

Of course, avoiding an argument is only the first step in sorting out an emotionally charged topic. Sometimes you have to dig beneath the surface to be able to talk about the beliefs and feelings beneath. Then there is work to negotiate a compromise or reach an agreement. However, arguments go in circles and usually make the problem worse.

Sometimes the only way not to lose is to finish the game. Like Frankie, you can change the rules. Instead of “One of us has to win” you can play “Let’s take some time with this”. With a simple statement, you can buy time, show compromise, offer empathy, or take part in the problem. These strategies are the basis of good communication. If the object of the game is to stop arguing, both players can win.

Read on from author Pat LaDouceur, Ph.D.

Read in order of publication

Arguing is never fun, but dealing with a stubborn person can be even more frustrating.

It can feel like you’re talking to a wall when trying to explain your position to a stubborn person. They just don’t seem to be listening.

For stressed-out emotional eaters, binge-eaters, and people trying to lose weight, interacting with stubborn people can cause cravings and binge eating. This week’s newsletter has six tips to help you get through an argument with a stubborn person. You can finally get your point across and resolve the conflict by following these simple rules.

1. Don’t be confrontational from the start

If you come out with a bang, the other person will build up their defense and it will be even harder to get them to see your point. Instead, try to start the conversation in a friendly way. Make small talk before getting into the meat of the argument.

2. Agree with them on some points to gain their trust

When you find common ground, it’s easier to get them to see your page. Once they realize that you’re not just trying to disagree with them, they may be more open to hearing what you have to say.

3. Use logic and reason to make your arguments

A piece of advice here on using logic. Use logic based on how they reason. As? Listen to the stubborn person speaking. If the stubborn person mentions how much they “feel” about something, present your case from that perspective.

For example, you could say, “You said you would definitely take this approach. I think we should take a different approach for the following reasons…”

4. Appeal to her emotions sparingly

In some cases, you may need to appeal to the other person’s emotions to get them to see your point. However, be careful with this approach. If you use it too much, you will be hidden and you will lose all credibility.

If you can find a way to relate your argument to something the other person cares about, you’ll be more likely to get them to see things your way. Use specific examples to get your point across and help the other person understand why you’re right.

5. Don’t get emotional yourself

If you find yourself getting emotional during the argument, take a step back and try to calm down. Being angry or upset will only make the other person push harder. They will likely see you as irrational and unreasonable when you lose your cool, making them even more difficult to win over.

6. Be willing to compromise

In some cases, the best way to win an argument with a stubborn person is to be willing to accommodate them. If you find a solution that satisfies both of you, it’s worth considering. Remember, the goal is to resolve the conflict, not to prove you are right.

Wrap up

If you’ve ever argued with a stubborn person, you know it can be frustrating—especially when they’re right. But don’t give up! There are ways to reach them. Start by being non-confrontational from the start and agree with them on a few points. Then use logic and reason to make your point. Appeal to their emotions sparingly and don’t get emotional yourself. Be willing to compromise and you will eventually find a solution. Need help getting started? Arrange a free introductory meeting today! We would love to hear from you and increase your productivity!

How did you navigate stubborn people? Comment below!

With much love,

dr Kirsten Grant

Lifestyle • ★★★★☆ How to win an argument with someone who’s never wrong… By Allison

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1 Keep Calm and Strong Keep your confidence when you firmly believe in your case. If you’re like me, I avoid conflict at all costs. But if it’s something I firmly believe in, I will stand my ground and stand up for my beliefs. Allowing emotion to enter the equation can be seen as a weakness, and your challenger most likely prides himself on being rational. Don’t get angry or desperate. Instead, approach the situation with a clear head and a calm demeanor. 93 Add comment…

2 Claims of Support with Evidence Clear evidence for each point you raise is key. I make a mental list of everything that might support my claim so I can remember what I want to discuss. Once you’ve built up strong defenses, it will be difficult for your challenger to take you down. 67 Add comment…

3 Facts vs Opinions You need all the power you can get. Facts are powerful and cannot be disputed. I always kindly ask for evidence from the opposing team. They will give in if they cannot support their claim the way you can. Add 0 comment…

4 Choose your battles wisely If you don’t see a solution and the matter is trivial, just drop it. Skip the argument and focus on things that will affect your life. I could argue all day about who is the best Kardashian, but convincing someone that Kylie is the best would not affect my life in any way. 94 Add comment…

5 Stay away from sarcasm Sarcasm can be offensive and hurtful. It’s really easy to resort to a sarcastic remark when you think your opponent is making a fool of himself, but stay away from those cheeky comments that can make any argument sooo much worse. Take the main road. 64 Add comment…

6 Considering Alternatives It’s hard to admit, but this opponent might even be right at times. Think about their side of things. Is there any truth in what they say? Venture into the dark side and you may be surprised at what’s in store for you. It will surely make you more empathetic. 35 Add comment…

7 Let It Go It’s not just about winning. Focus your energy on future situations and don’t feel bad if things didn’t turn out the way you wanted. Take a step back and ask if the outcome affects you at all. I tell myself to just breathe and keep my head up. With these tips, you will surely win the battle – and the war. How do you argue with someone who has this character flaw? Post in the comments below! 23

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In college, I heard about a teacher who gave out a bulletin called How to Fail This Class. His hope was that students would read it, learn to spot common pitfalls, and do the opposite. I hope you will use this post in a similar way. All elements are common sense. Yet people continue to fall into these traps on a daily basis. I’m guilty of making some of these myself and I bet you are too. If you’ve had an inordinate amount of disagreements this week, you can use this list to make sure you’re not part of the problem.

Here are five quick and easy ways to start a fight:

1. Take a unified approach.

Imagine walking into your favorite department store and finding that all the clothes are exactly the same size. When you ask the clerk about it, he says, “Yes, that’s a very popular size, so it’s the only one we stock now.” If you stayed in this department store long enough, you’d probably hear a number of arguments. In fact, you might even get into a disagreement with the manager yourself.

Of course, department stores don’t take a one-size-fits-all approach. You value our business way too much. Yet people take a consistent approach to problem solving every day. In consulting, it is common for people to recommend their solution as “the right way”. As you can imagine, a rigid approach to problem solving is an excellent way to start a fight.

2. Use the words “always” and “never”.

Use the words “always” and “never” and you’ll get caught up in an argument before you finish your sentence. These words lead to answers like, “I don’t always ________ (fill in the blank with the topic you want to argue about). Do you remember two years ago? I didn’t do that back then!” “Always” and “never” are strong words that invite you to find an exception to the rule.

3. Say, “You’re wrong.”

Dale Carnagie’s book How to Win Friends and Influence People suggests eliminating the words “You’re wrong” from the vocabulary. These words are difficult to accept and lead to defensiveness. Saying “You’re wrong” is another easy way to start a heated conversation.

4. Don’t listen in a way that makes the other person feel heard.

Have you ever told someone, “You’re not listening to me,” just to get him or her to parrot your exact words? This can be incredibly frustrating. There’s a big difference between listening to what you’re saying and thinking about what you’re saying. Avoiding eye contact, rolling your eyes, and speaking eagerly are all ways to communicate, “I’ve made a decision. I don’t care what you have to say and I’m only interested in convincing you that I’m right.”

5. Keep engaging with an angry person.

Arguments have secondary benefits. They are exciting, engaging and attract attention. Therapists use the word “maladaptive” to describe these behaviors. Frequent arguments are harmful, but they also serve a purpose. If you seek out an angry person and engage with him or her long enough, an argument is bound to ensue.

Understanding why arguments start is a good first step to reducing them. While not all disagreements are bad, frequent arguments are stressful and unhealthy.

What do you think? Are you guilty of doing any of these things? If you have any additional strategies to add to this list, feel free to leave them in the comments below.

Have you ever heard an argument or statement presented as fact that just didn’t ring true?

Perhaps the statement seemed to come to a wild conclusion, or the argument put forward was based on evidence that could not be easily validated or was taken out of context.

These kinds of statements are often referred to as logical fallacies. Essentially, an argument built on flawed reasoning that – if you apply logic – turns out to be wrong.

Logical fallacies can be persuasive and are often used in rhetoric to encourage people to think a certain way or to believe certain things. So we have to be careful and question the things we hear that don’t quite “ring true”.

In this article, we’ll learn about the different types of fallacies that can be used, what they are, and how to spot them.

Don’t be fooled by logical fallacies! View the transcript for this video here.

What are logical fallacies?

A logical fallacy is a statement that appears to be true until you apply the rules of logic. Then you realize that’s not the case. Logical fallacies can often be used to mislead people – to make them believe something they would not otherwise believe.

For example, consider the following statement:

“In a study designed by a famous scientist to test the effect of pleasant images on motivation, employees were shown images of baby animals and beautiful natural scenes for the first five minutes at work.

“Amazingly, the results showed a 10 percent jump in profits in the first quarter and record revenue for the year. So, showing people pleasant images is a great way to motivate them and increase productivity.”

What do you think of the argument you just read? do you believe the conclusion

You shouldn’t.

The argument contains a number of logical fallacies. But don’t worry if you believe the conclusion: the passage contains some very common (and effective) tactics for manipulating reason and logic.

The ability to distinguish a valid argument from a false one is an important skill. This is a key aspect of critical thinking and can help you avoid falling for fake news.

If you’ve fallen for a logical fallacy, wrong conclusions could lead you to make decisions you later regret. And using a logical fallacy in your own arguments can make you appear gullible or uninformed. Worse, it can make you appear dishonest.

Note: Logical fallacies are sometimes confused with cognitive biases, but they are not the same. A cognitive bias is a tendency to make decisions or act in illogical ways caused by our values, memory, socialization, and other personal characteristics.

Now let’s examine some of the most common logical fallacies people use so you can spot them and understand how to challenge them when you encounter them.

Examples of logical fallacies

Do you remember the example above? It relied on two of the most common fallacies in logic: appeals to authority and false inductions. Let’s take a closer look at both.

appeals to authority

Here you are relying on an “expert” source to form the basis of your argument. In the example above, the source that appears to be knowledgeable is “a famous academic”. Mention of an academic usually implies authority and expertise, and that your argument is supported by rigorous research. The effect is even stronger if you use a real name.

But attribution alone is not enough to “prove” your case. Even if the academic is genuine and their research is genuine, it may not necessarily support your argument — it may be misquoted, misunderstood, taken out of context, or contain important caveats that undermine the point you are trying to make.

Try not to rely too heavily on the authority of a single expert or on a single source of data.

Wrong inductions

False induction is often referred to as “non sequitur”, which translates from Latin as “it does not follow”. This fallacy leads you to infer a causal relationship where none is obvious. Just because something happened before something else doesn’t mean there’s a logical, causal connection between the two.

In our example, showing employees pleasant images may or may not be associated with improved company performance. Many other factors could have played a role.

It also concludes that improved productivity is the result of increased motivation. This is another wrong induction. The example does not show at all whether the pleasant images had a direct effect on motivation and thus productivity.

Other common logical fallacies

The example above uses two types of fallacies, but there are many other logical fallacies that you may have encountered in your workplace or more generally. Here are six other common logical fallacies.

The slippery slope

The inclined plane argument rests on your thinking that the worst that can happen will actually happen if you choose a certain course of action. Of course, this is not necessarily the case.

Example “If we allow Susan to leave earlier, we will soon be freeing up all Friday afternoons.”

Such arguments come up often. But if you examine the example more closely, you can see that it’s illogical to conclude that you really have to give everyone an afternoon off each week just by allowing one employee to leave early one time.

The bandwagon fallacy

This is where you are tricked into believing in an idea or suggestion simply because it is popular or has a lot of support. But the fact that many people agree with something doesn’t make it true or right.

Example “We surveyed all the customers in the store and everyone agreed that it would be a good idea to be open 24 hours a day. We need to create a 24-hour schedule as soon as possible.”

In fact, you need to ask a few more questions before you can draw any conclusion from an informal survey like this one.

For example: Who were these people? Would you actually buy something in the store at 2 a.m.? If yes, how often? What are the costs compared to the benefits of such a plan?

At the same time, remember that just because many people believe something doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Always try to think critically and don’t be guided by forceful arguments.

Note: The “Appeal to Tradition” fallacy is similar to the train wagon fallacy. Here the argument focuses on something that has “always” been done or is a widely accepted practice. For example: “We’ve always hired the CEO from among the ranks. When we look outward, there’s too much disagreement and discord.”

The Fallacy of the False Dichotomy

The fallacy of the false dichotomy relies on an “either/or” argument: you only offer two options and force people to choose between them. In fact, neither option can be the best, and many other options may be available. But the argument makes it seem like the proposed option is the only viable one.

Example “We as a board can either choose to approve this IPO or we can be slowly annihilated by our competitors.”

In this example, there are almost certainly other options that the Board might consider. And is raising capital even the answer to improving or maintaining the company’s competitive position?

The strawman fallacy

The strawman fallacy is about making up a false argument and then refuting it. The counter-argument is then taken to be true. By misrepresenting an opponent’s position (and then knocking it down), your own preferred position appears stronger.

Example A local politician plans to expand the community’s cycling network and add several new speed cameras in densely populated areas. Her opponent says: “They want us all to give up driving forever. They are punishing the honest car owners and commuters who help pay these politicians’ salaries.”

By arguing that the proposed changes were an attack on motorists, opponents slammed the position much more easily than if they had tried to address the real concerns the proposal addresses – in this case, an increase in deaths from traffic accidents and degree of pollution.

Note: Do not confuse a strawman argument with a strawman proposal. A strawman suggestion is a popular problem-solving concept where you start with a half-finished idea and intentionally poke “holes” in it to arrive at a better end product. Unlike a strawman argument, a strawman suggestion is an effective process when used with clear and honest intentions.

The No True Scotsman fallacy

Sometimes referred to as an “appeal to purity,” this is a way of dismissing flaws in or criticism of an argument.

No matter how persuasive the counterargument may be, the person making the fallacy “moves the goalposts” and shifts the terms of the argument so that the contradictory evidence does not hold.

Example Andy says a Scot would never put sugar on his porridge. Dougal replies that he’s Scottish and puts sugar on his porridge. Andy replies that no true Scotsman puts sugar on their porridge. Andy therefore changes the terms of the argument, implying that Dougal is not a “true” Scotsman, to support his own position.

observation selection

That means emphasizing the positive aspects of an idea and ignoring the negative ones. You try to make your argument more convincing by only telling half the truth.

Example “I know that our TV advertising is more effective than radio. The numbers show that we reach twice as many viewers with TV, and our focus groups remember the TV commercial 38 percent better than the radio show.”

What this argument doesn’t address is the cost and return on investment of television advertising compared to radio. Does the 38% increase in customer retention translate to sales conversions? What percentage of radio listeners versus TV viewers actually buy the product?

It’s easy to fall into observational selection when you’re attached to an idea, especially if you helped generate it.

The fallacy of “statistics of small numbers” is a similar concept. This is where you take an observation and draw a general conclusion from it.

For example: “I would never use Gaudi Brothers to supply our paper products.

This opinion is based on a bad experience and does not necessarily mean that the company is always unreliable. Perhaps the purchasing company was late in placing orders or late in paying its bills.

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How to avoid logical fallacies

To spot logical fallacies, you need a basic understanding of how an argument works. In logic, an argument is a set of propositions where one proposition is derived from the other (or others). There are two types of statements:

Premises are statements offered to provide evidence for the conclusion of an argument.

are statements offered to provide evidence for the conclusion of an argument. Conclusions are statements derived from the evidence presented.

For an argument to be valid or logical, the premises must fully support the conclusion. You do this in one of two ways:

1. With deductive reasoning

Here you start from general premises and come to a concrete, safe conclusion.

Example Premise 1: Trucan Supply decided it would limit its layoffs to just the New York facility to minimize redundancy costs. Premise 2: Trucan employee Tom received a notice of termination. Conclusion: Tom works at the facility in New York.

2. Use of inductive reasoning

Here one starts from concrete premises and comes to a generalized conclusion. This “bottom-up” logic uses premises to arrive at a conclusion that is probable but not certain. (Read our article on inductive reasoning to learn more about it.)

Example premise 1: April promotions in the last five years have increased sales by an average of 15 percent. Premise 2: Summer campaigns did not lead to any measurable increase in sales during this period. Conclusion: In order to increase sales, this year’s campaign should better take place in April instead of in the summer.

To check that an argument presented to you has solid logical basis, apply these two tests. If it does, you can rest assured that the argument has merit. If not, request more information and supporting evidence.

infographic

You can see our fallacies infographic here:

People argue to defend their points of view, while showing that their opponent’s argument is in some way flawed. To win arguments, be willing to use evidence to show why you are right. You must also uncover the weaknesses in your opponent’s argument. As you collect evidence for arguments, you will find credible sources that will give you access to solid facts and relevant examples. Also remember that getting emotional is a surefire way to lose during an argument! Always try to keep your cool.

6 / 8 Dmytro Zinkevych/shutterstock Avoid sarcasm Sarcasm is widely considered the lowest form of humor and is often used to hurt or offend someone. It can be easy to resort to sarcasm during an argument, but it doesn’t often strengthen your case. Sarcasm only makes you seem petty and opposite. At every encounter, take the main road. At least it makes you feel better. These phrases can make any argument worse.

7 / 8 fizkes/Shutterstock Consider Alternatives Just because your opponent always thinks they’re right doesn’t mean they’re always wrong. The truth is that they can occasionally be on the winning side. Consider her point of view for a moment. Could they really be right this time? Has her penchant for never giving in caused you to become so defensive in her presence that you can no longer see the other side? Take a minute to explore the dark side and you’ll be amazed at what you discover. These exercises can help increase your empathy and help you see the other side better.

Lifestyle • ★★★★☆ How to win an argument with someone who’s never wrong… By Allison

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1 Keep Calm and Strong Keep your confidence when you firmly believe in your case. If you’re like me, I avoid conflict at all costs. But if it’s something I firmly believe in, I will stand my ground and stand up for my beliefs. Allowing emotion to enter the equation can be seen as a weakness, and your challenger most likely prides himself on being rational. Don’t get angry or desperate. Instead, approach the situation with a clear head and a calm demeanor. 93 Add comment…

2 Claims of Support with Evidence Clear evidence for each point you raise is key. I make a mental list of everything that might support my claim so I can remember what I want to discuss. Once you’ve built up strong defenses, it will be difficult for your challenger to take you down. 67 Add comment…

3 Facts vs Opinions You need all the power you can get. Facts are powerful and cannot be disputed. I always kindly ask for evidence from the opposing team. They will give in if they cannot support their claim the way you can. Add 0 comment…

4 Choose your battles wisely If you don’t see a solution and the matter is trivial, just drop it. Skip the argument and focus on things that will affect your life. I could argue all day about who is the best Kardashian, but convincing someone that Kylie is the best would not affect my life in any way. 94 Add comment…

5 Stay away from sarcasm Sarcasm can be offensive and hurtful. It’s really easy to resort to a sarcastic remark when you think your opponent is making a fool of himself, but stay away from those cheeky comments that can make any argument sooo much worse. Take the main road. 64 Add comment…

6 Considering Alternatives It’s hard to admit, but this opponent might even be right at times. Think about their side of things. Is there any truth in what they say? Venture into the dark side and you may be surprised at what’s in store for you. It will surely make you more empathetic. 35 Add comment…

7 Let It Go It’s not just about winning. Focus your energy on future situations and don’t feel bad if things didn’t turn out the way you wanted. Take a step back and ask if the outcome affects you at all. I tell myself to just breathe and keep my head up. With these tips, you will surely win the battle – and the war. How do you argue with someone who has this character flaw? Post in the comments below! 23

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Arguing is never fun, but dealing with a stubborn person can be even more frustrating.

It can feel like you’re talking to a wall when trying to explain your position to a stubborn person. They just don’t seem to be listening.

For stressed-out emotional eaters, binge-eaters, and people trying to lose weight, interacting with stubborn people can cause cravings and binge eating. This week’s newsletter has six tips to help you get through an argument with a stubborn person. You can finally get your point across and resolve the conflict by following these simple rules.

1. Don’t be confrontational from the start

If you come out with a bang, the other person will build up their defense and it will be even harder to get them to see your point. Instead, try to start the conversation in a friendly way. Make small talk before getting into the meat of the argument.

2. Agree with them on some points to gain their trust

When you find common ground, it’s easier to get them to see your page. Once they realize that you’re not just trying to disagree with them, they may be more open to hearing what you have to say.

3. Use logic and reason to make your arguments

A piece of advice here on using logic. Use logic based on how they reason. As? Listen to the stubborn person speaking. If the stubborn person mentions how much they “feel” about something, present your case from that perspective.

For example, you could say, “You said you would definitely take this approach. I think we should take a different approach for the following reasons…”

4. Appeal to her emotions sparingly

In some cases, you may need to appeal to the other person’s emotions to get them to see your point. However, be careful with this approach. If you use it too much, you will be hidden and you will lose all credibility.

If you can find a way to relate your argument to something the other person cares about, you’ll be more likely to get them to see things your way. Use specific examples to get your point across and help the other person understand why you’re right.

5. Don’t get emotional yourself

If you find yourself getting emotional during the argument, take a step back and try to calm down. Being angry or upset will only make the other person push harder. They will likely see you as irrational and unreasonable when you lose your cool, making them even more difficult to win over.

6. Be willing to compromise

In some cases, the best way to win an argument with a stubborn person is to be willing to accommodate them. If you find a solution that satisfies both of you, it’s worth considering. Remember, the goal is to resolve the conflict, not to prove you are right.

Wrap up

If you’ve ever argued with a stubborn person, you know it can be frustrating—especially when they’re right. But don’t give up! There are ways to reach them. Start by being non-confrontational from the start and agree with them on a few points. Then use logic and reason to make your point. Appeal to their emotions sparingly and don’t get emotional yourself. Be willing to compromise and you will eventually find a solution. Need help getting started? Arrange a free introductory meeting today! We would love to hear from you and increase your productivity!

How did you navigate stubborn people? Comment below!

With much love,

dr Kirsten Grant