Is My Ex Girlfriend Leading Me On? The 199 New Answer

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Today we’re going to talk about how you can know if your ex is breading you, but we’re specifically looking at the real-life tactics exes have used for breading.

The important things first,

What is breadcrumbs?

Breadcrumbing often occurs when an ex does just enough to make you think they’re interested in “re-pursuing” a relationship with you. So that you stay on the hook, so to speak. Usually, however, that ex hasn’t made a decision on whether they want to pursue you romantically. You keep your options open.

It’s never fun to be on the receiving end of such behavior, but in this article I’ll show you some of the most common signs breadcrumb exes are involved in, and after that I’ll psychologically unravel the layers to help you understand why exes breadcrumb.

Let’s start!

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The most common signs of breadcrumbs that we see in real life

I wanted this to be the most comprehensive guide to breakup breadcrumbing in the world and I thought to help achieve that it would be good to ask real people going through a breakup what kind of breadcrumbing behavior their exes are doing. actually show friends.

As always, our private Facebook support group is perfect for this, so I asked them:

Here are the signs that really caught my eye

Asking a favor or doing you a favor They make an appointment to see you and then line you up at the last minute, repeating your requests directly to you but never enforcing them. They talk to you a lot while they have someone else they are dating Engage in pogo sticking behaviors

As always, I will provide evidence of my findings and comment a little. Let’s start!

Sign #1: Asking a favor or doing yourself a favor

This is probably the only addition to this list that kind of shocked me, but in hindsight it makes perfect sense. It’s just often overlooked.

So, I got supplement from this comment,

“When he asked me if I had some clothes for a funeral (of course I had) and then talked about his family drama throughout the conversation, he said he’s hesitant, don’t worry about the clothes he’s going to buy .”

So what we have here is an ex who is going through some emotional things and usually the person he would vent to is no longer in the picture so he makes up an excuse to talk to her so he can vent can make.

The excuse was the favor of renting clothes.

But our member probably doesn’t take it that way. Due to the emotional nature of the conversation, it is likely perceived as opening up to her again in the same way as if he were in a relationship with her.

Let’s move on to our next sign.

Sign #2: They make an appointment to see you and then put you up at the last minute

I’ve redacted the rest of the comment for the privacy of the commenters as it shared personal information that I was sure they wouldn’t release to the public, but it doesn’t really address the point I’m making here make attempts.

This character is perhaps the most common example of breadcrumbing I’ve seen in comments.

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Essentially, an ex acts like they really want to see you in person and then, at the last moment, never goes through with those plans.

Being classified as a dismissive avoidance type myself, I’ll admit that this is my go-to tactic.

I can’t tell you how many dates I’ve literally gotten up this way just because I was scared of losing my independence. I made plans, and then about a day or two before the plans were going to go into effect, I suddenly canceled.

However, this all stemmed from my insecurities and had nothing to do with the women I was dating. It’s important to remember.

I think when we look at the breakup path, that loss of independence that an ex may have feels amplified because they already felt a loss of independence at one point when they were dating you.

It causes them to relive the trauma, even if you weren’t the one who triggered their offer to meet.

Sign #3: Repeating your wishes directly to yourself, but never going through with them

My favorite comment of all was this,

“He knew the right words, which always got through to me. Marriage, Love, Bonding. He would drop her and knew I would come back to him. Pooh.”

This one caught my eye because it’s important for an ex to use tactical empathy for their own evil purposes.

If you are unfamiliar with tactical empathy, you are essentially repeating a person’s worldview. Your hopes, dreams and desires. As long as you show that you have empathy for these things and give it back to them literally, that person is much more likely to get what they want.

When I get to the psychology section of this article, I’m going to talk about doll relationships, and I have a feeling that’s what’s happening here.

The avoidant ex-breadcrumbs because they want that “love adrenaline rush” from you and know exactly which buttons to press to get it.

Sign #4: Talk to you a lot while they have someone else they are dating

This wasn’t so much a specific sign as just an observation by one of the commenters. But they kinda got a point

For reference, BTM is synonymous with the being-there method, a strategy we teach people who have ex-boyfriends who switched to someone else.

What’s interesting about the data I received in the post is that there were many mentions of “the other person.” That means a lot of the breadcrumbing happens while the ex is dating someone new.

Keep in mind that these are real life people giving up these stories and I would say there was a good five or six comments out of the 20 I looked through that mentioned “the other woman”.

This type of behavior is consistent with what we know about the avoidant attachment style. Specifically, Phantom Ex Syndrome, which I’ve talked about a lot in the past.

Sign #5: They exhibit pogo-sticking behavior

This is my own late addition because I know it happens, although no one immediately said they experienced it in the post.

When I’m usually referring to pogo sticking behavior, I’m usually referring to an ex who blocks you and then unblocks you on social media.

Which I think could be argued to be some sort of breadcrumb sign.

What are your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back? take the quiz

Still, I’m looking for a lot of hot and cold behaviors here. One day your ex is having an emotional conversation with you and the next he is nowhere to be found.

They stay across the spectrum in terms of hot and cold.

This is a type of insecurity consistent with breadcrumbing.

Why Exe’s Breadcrumb?

Perhaps the best starting point for psychoanalyzing ex-partners like this is attachment theory. Really, 2022 was the year of avoidance.

Not only have I written an insane amount of articles about them, but I’ve also made dozens of videos about them this way.

The reason I’m overly focused on avoidant individuals is because I think understanding the nuances of their specific attachment style can teach us about breadcrumbs because you’ll find it’s very popular with avoidant individuals.

First things first, did you know that most people reading this site will have an avoidant ex?

According to WebMD,

Avoidant attachment is an attachment style that a child develops when their parents or primary caregivers fail to show caring or responsiveness after they provide basic necessities such as food and shelter. The child disregards their own struggles and needs in order to keep the peace and keep their caregiver close. They still struggle and feel fear or sadness but do so alone and deny the meaning of those feelings. This attachment style often stays with a person into adulthood and may affect their romantic relationships, friendships, and other connections.

However, some interesting things happen with the avoidant attachment style, especially when it comes to breakups. Today I want to talk about two of those things because it really helps explain breadcrumbing behavior.

The Core Wound of Independence The Nostalgia Weakness

Let’s dive into these for a moment.

The Core Wound of Independence

I can’t really appreciate this concept as one of the ex-recovery coaches first brought it to my attention in this interview.

Every core insecure attachment style is believed to have a core wound. A unique fact that can explain most of their unsafe behaviors.

For example,

Anxious Attachment – The fear of being alone Avoidant Attachment – The fear of losing independence Anxious Attachment – Both core wounds are present

Of course, we are interested in the avoidable core wound of the loss of independence. So, here’s an interesting thing. The avoidant values ​​independence at such a high level that they literally prefer puppet relationships.

Puppet relationships = relationships where they can be in control and hold you by their strings like a puppeteer.

Here is an example of how this works. An avoidance like the initial feeling of being in a relationship but not the strings attached to a commitment. So what they often do is set up this scenario where they “semi-commit” but never actually follow through with it.

Sounds familiar?

Well, it gets even better. They even know what to say and do to keep the puppet relationship going so you don’t leave.

Their end goal is always the same, to keep a relationship going for as long as possible without actually having to commit. One of their tactics to achieve this effect is breadcrumbs.

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Of course, there’s another interesting thing we learned about avoidance.

They almost always fall victim to a lack of nostalgia

To me, this is perhaps the most interesting thing about the avoidant attachment style. You see, whenever I think of an evader, I don’t really think of them as nostalgic creatures.

I think that’s rather cold and calculating.

They get what they want, someone else’s affection, and then, after their “cup is full,” so to speak, they leave.

Technically, avoiding is very similar, but there’s a bit more nuance than you’d expect.

A nuance is an intriguing find we found in her psychology regarding nostalgia.

i talk a lot about it in this video,

So here it goes

If you give an evasive enough time, they are bound to fall prey to that time of nostalgia. Of course, this only happens if they’ve been left alone long enough, a mistake our clients often make.

As most of our customers tend towards the anxious side,

And her core wound is essentially a fear of abandonment. We find that many of our clients don’t leave their ex-boyfriends alone long enough for their ex-partners to feel the period of nostalgia.

Well, the reason I’m making a big deal out of this is because I think a lot of breadcrumbs happen because an ex becomes the victim of a period of nostalgia and then is initially authentic with their intentions.

So suddenly the ex goes from cold to hot and you start thinking, ‘Wow, they’re really interested in me. That’s great.”

But it’s a flash in the pan. Lightning in a bottle. Finally, that Core Wound will freak out an Evasive. “Relive the past” is enough to re-engage their core wound and they disappear.

I think this often happens with breadcrumbs. So I think it’s important to study avoidance nature to understand how to deal with it.

Regardless of whether it was you who ended your relationship or your ex who initiated the breakup, the hard truth is that a breakup is hard to pull off.

You might be over her, or you might wish you were back together.

However, our relationships can be as complicated as our emotions.

For a number of reasons — and whether it’s been a week or a decade since you broke up — you might be wondering how to tell if your ex misses you.

Does my ex miss me? 25 Sure Signs He’s Doing

While it can be difficult to decipher the meaning behind your ex’s actions, there are indications that he may miss you.

Every person and relationship is different, so try to be objective. There is no guarantee that these signs your ex misses will apply to your situation.

You haven’t heard from them since you broke up — no calls, messages, or sightings. And then, all of a sudden, they casually reach out to say hello. They let you know they thought of you or bring up memories with you.

2. They show remorse.

What ends relationships is rarely one-sided. Regardless of who is most to blame or who ended it, expressing regret can signal that your ex is still into you.

They admit guilt and apologize for past events, whether sincere or manipulative. They assure you that they have changed.

If your ex contacts important dates, he may still have feelings for you.

Do they send you birthday or Christmas cards, send you a message on the anniversary of your grandmother’s death, or congratulate you on life events? They could just be a nice person – or they could have ulterior motives.

4. They say it is so.

The best way to find out if your ex is missing you is to hear it straight from the source. Whether it’s a sweeping gesture or something more subtle, when your ex tells you they miss you, aren’t over you, or still love you, it’s probably safe to believe them.

5. Social media says it is.

If you’re still friends on social media, they might check in on you. Maybe they like or comment on your posts, or their profile picture still shows you. If they post things about you or share things that they know might interest you, it could be a sign that they’re still into you.

6. You receive gifts from them.

People generally send gifts to those they care about. If your ex brings you a souvenir from their trip to Hawaii, sends you a bottle of your favorite wine on your birthday, or brings you coffee to work, it can mean that they miss you very much.

7. You hear it from other people.

Your ex may still be in touch with a family member or mutual friend. If they’re having trouble moving on, they may ask about you or even openly say they miss you. And they probably recognize – and hope – that the information will come back to you.

8. They offer and seek help.

It’s natural to help a romantic partner when and how they need you. But your relationship is over, and you both have other people on your support systems. If your ex offers to help you move or asks you for a ride to work, you may be missed.

9. You meet her often.

It’s not uncommon to run into your ex every now and then. But if it’s a frequent occurrence — especially at times or places they know you’ll be there — they might coordinate it that way. Beware if it happens too often or feels scary.

10. They want to spend time with you.

If your ex suggests getting drinks or coffee to catch up, it could mean he misses you. They might even test the waters for a reunion.

A purer possibility is that they miss your company and just want to know how you are doing.

11. Openly remembers the past.

They feel nostalgic and may try to make you feel the same way. Reminiscing about good times from your past or expressing how much your relationship meant to her could be an attempt to rekindle a flame.

Maybe they remind you of a road trip you took together or an inside joke you share.

12. Jealousy is their target.

It can be difficult seeing an ex with someone new for the first time — or always. But if they’re really jealous when they see you with someone new, that’s a sign they’re not over you.

Or maybe they are flaunting their new love interest in front of you to get your attention or to hurt you.

13. You have a strong feeling.

Intuition is a real, powerful thing. If you have a gut feeling that your ex is thinking about you or longing for the past, don’t automatically assume that your imagination will run wild. Maybe they think of you and you absorb their energy.

14. You are still single.

Your ex may be reluctant to date someone because they enjoy being single. Or it could be because they miss you. Taking time to recover from a breakup doesn’t automatically mean they want to get back together. Maybe they just need more time to adjust to a new normal, one without you.

15. They are happy to see you.

It can be uncomfortable being around your ex, no matter how much you used to enjoy their company. But if yours is looking forward to seeing you and seems happy because you’re there, they might have a hard time letting you go.

16. They jumped into a new relationship.

Your relationship barely ended before your ex created his new online dating profile. They started dating freely or jumped straight into a new relationship.

In this case, your ex may be trying to get your attention. Or they’re trying to avoid feeling hurt, so they’re on the rebound.

More related articles

11 key signs you met the right person at the wrong time

37 of the best ways to tell someone how much you miss them

45 questions you’re dying to ask your ex

17. They’re still mad at you.

Emotions are powerful things, and our behaviors don’t always coincide. Your ex can miss you and be mad at you at the same time. Perhaps chance encounters tend to get ugly.

They might even spread rumors about you or play the victim card to anyone who will listen.

18. They have quick response times.

People tend to make time for the things that matter most to them. If you notice that your ex is always quick to respond when you reach out, or it’s clear that communicating with you is important, it could mean he still thinks you’re special and isn’t over you.

19. You seem depressed.

Maybe you see your ex every day at work or at the gym and they just seem absent. If they look sad or down, it could be a sign that they’re not over you yet. Note that it is equally possible that there is something else going on in their lives that has nothing to do with you.

Alcohol tends to bring emotions to the surface. If your ex contacts you after a long night and sounds drunk, maybe he misses you.

The subtext of the message could even be a booty call. Use extreme caution here – and consider ignoring their nightly attempts to contact you.

21. They justify interactions with you.

Finding ways to talk to you and see you in person could be a sign. They might send you messages with information important to you, like newly released tour dates about a band you both like. Or they keep finding your stuff on them or asking for stuff they left with you.

22. They want to be friends.

It’s not uncommon to be friends with an ex, but it’s more common to stay apart — at least while the breakup is fresh. When your ex proposes friendship, they may be trying to reignite the flame. Of course, it is also possible that they sincerely miss your presence and your friendship.

23. You think openly about what could have been.

Instead of focusing on the future, your ex thinks about alternative paths your relationship could have taken – ones that keep you together. Perhaps they express thoughts about what it would be like if you had achieved a jointly defined goal or taken the vacation that had begun.

Talking about the what-if questions may indicate that your ex isn’t over you yet.

24. They want to discuss what happened.

The relationship is over and you’ve both said your peace. You move on — and then your ex says he wants to talk about what went wrong. It’s possible they’re trying to learn from their mistakes and find some closure — or they might want a chance to show you that they’ve changed.

25. They make sure you know they’ve changed.

Your ex is probably aware of some of the opinions you held about her. Well they have changed for the better and make sure you know.

Whether they’ve changed a habit you didn’t like or picked up a hobby you’d like to have, they want you to know they’ve grown.

Why doesn’t my ex miss me?

Maybe you got on just fine, and then bam! – you realize that they have already done it. It can hurt a bit when you realize your ex is over you, but know that it doesn’t affect your worth or attractiveness.

As Lalla said, “The hardest part of letting go is realizing that the other person has already done it.”

Here are a few possible reasons why your ex doesn’t miss you.

Someone cheated. You might feel ashamed or upset. Either way, they want to put it behind them.

. You might feel ashamed or upset. Either way, they want to put it behind them. You contact her too often. You might feel suffocated.

. You might feel suffocated. You are in a new relationship. You see someone new and happy.

You see someone new and happy. You are busy. Maybe they’ve gotten engrossed in school, work, self-improvement, or a new hobby.

. Maybe they’ve gotten engrossed in school, work, self-improvement, or a new hobby. It’s just not meant to be. heartbreak sucks But relationships end for a reason, and yours shouldn’t be.

. heartbreak sucks But relationships end for a reason, and yours shouldn’t be. They’ve moved on – plain and simple. They have processed their emotions and let go of the past.

So, what’s the verdict — does your ex miss you?

Either way, here’s some advice:

Instead of focusing on your past relationship and asking, “Will my ex miss me if I (fill in the blank)?”—learn from your mistakes and use them to grow and discover the bigger and better things that are expect you in life!

Mixed signals in a new relationship.

The early stages of a new relationship can be full of passion and curiosity, but they can also be filled with mixed signals. Until you understand the ins and outs of your partner’s behavior and communication patterns, you may not be able to guess what he’s thinking. Below are six mixed signals a partner can give at the beginning of a relationship, according to experts:

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1. They write to you often but make no plans to meet up with them.

Let’s say you meet someone at a party and you two get along really well. They exchange numbers and start texting back and forth (sometimes even flirtatious), but they never ask you out or distract you by mentioning that you personally spend time together. “If he tells you he had a good time and really likes you but takes a week to contact you, it would make sense if you were confused,” says Chamin Ajjan, M.S., LCSW, A-CBT, sex therapist and author of Seeking Soulmate: Ditch the Dating Game and Find a Real Connection. This type of pattern can also play out on dating apps, where it’s even harder to know where the person stands since you’ve never actually met them.

2. They are inconsistent and unavailable.

Sometimes you spend time together in person but otherwise never hear from the person unless you’re physically together, which is another example of receiving mixed signals, according to Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Weena Cullins, LCMFT. The only reassurance you get in this scenario is the rare time you spend together in person. Aside from that, “They fail to initiate meetings, calls, or texts with any consistency,” she explains, “which can make one person feel insecure about what the other person really wants.”

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3. They say they want an emotional connection but don’t go deeper.

Some people send mixed signals about how deep they want the relationship to get. They could verbally promise or signal a desire to go below the surface, Cullins explains, but then they don’t actually conduct those deeper conversations as a couple. “When it comes time to answer questions that may require vulnerability or disclosure, they decline to participate,” she explains. “It can create confusion for the other person as to where the relationship is going.”

4. They are only present when it suits them.

When a new partner talks about wanting to be in a relationship but only shows up when it suits them, they’re sending mixed signals. For example, they tell you that they can always listen to you when you need them, but will avoid you in difficult times. “They can also limit their talk time to situations where they need help or are looking for company,” adds Cullins. “This can make the other person feel manipulated and unsupported.”

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5. They are all-in for a while and then drastically change their behavior.

This mixed signal is essentially an agglomeration of the various mixed signals mentioned above, and it can also be a form of breadcrumbing. It happens when someone texts you often, talking about a future together, sharing personal information and asking you to do the same, couples therapist Alicia Muñoz, LPC, tells mbg. “And then, for no particular reason, [they] change their behavior, ghost you, avoid you for a period of time, change their tone, or act with restraint,” she says.

6. You’re flirting with someone else.

When someone who shows interest in you flirts with others, it can send mixed signals. This may not apply to everyone as different people have different levels of tolerance for sociosexuality, but the typical monogamous dater will likely be confused upon observing this behavior in a potential mate. “If you’re on a date with your new prospect and she’s flirting with the waitress, you might not realize where you stand,” Ajjan explains as an example.

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Mixed signals with an ex.

Ending a relationship can be complicated, possibly even more complicated when it ends well. When you choose to stay friends or keep in touch with your ex, mixed signals can become incredibly prevalent and confusing. Here are a few common mixed signals you may get from an ex:

1. Making contact frequently with no intention of getting back together.

If you or your ex frequently text, call, DM, or spend time together but say you don’t see a future together, it can sometimes send mixed signals. Not only can that be confusing, but it can also make it difficult to truly move on from the relationship, Cullins says. (That’s why some experts recommend the no-contact rule after a breakup.)

2. Acting like they’re okay with moving on and then meddling in new relationships.

Sometimes an ex will say they’re okay with you moving on, but then they’ll make comments, show up at your dates, or do anything to disrupt your new life or relationship. They say one thing (they don’t want to be with you), but their actions say another thing (they don’t want you to be with anyone else). “This can damage any connection they may still have with their ex as well as their new relationship,” Cullins says.

3. Continuing to have sex after the breakup.

Sometimes an ex gives up on the emotional aspect of the relationship, but they may try to hold on to the physical aspects under the guise of “friends with benefits,” Muñoz says. While there are healthy ways to approach an FWB relationship, it can be confusing after a breakup — and especially unfair when one partner is still hoping for a long-term commitment.

4. Connecting on social media but nowhere else.

It can be confusing when an ex regularly interacts with you on social media, whether it’s liking an old photo, commenting on a new one, or DMing you funny memes. These gestures may give the impression that they’re interested in staying connected, but they’re not calling, texting, or scheduling a face-to-face meeting.

How to interpret mixed signals.

Mixed signals are naturally difficult to interpret. “What we can interpret from mixed signals is that the other person hasn’t officially made a choice to be consistent or committed to you,” Cullins says. “Once you decide that consistency or commitment is what you need, then it will be easier to determine how you are progressing in the relationship.” Staying in relationships like this can lead to emotional distress. “If their behavior is negatively affecting your mental, emotional, or physical stability, or your overall sense of peace and self-worth, then it’s time to assess the value of staying in the situation,” says Cullins.

Why do people send mixed signals?

When a person behaves like this, Muñoz says, it’s usually a sign that they’re dealing with their own inner conflict. “They may want opposite or contradictory things, like absolute freedom and safety and security.” If you see these mixed signals as a sign of inner conflict, you can become more compassionate toward them rather than taking it personally, she says. Overall, mixed signals are not an indication that you need to change, rather the person sending the signals has some inner work to do. Mixed signals can also be the result of an avoidant attachment style, Ajjan adds. That said, they tend to withdraw when a relationship gets intimate because those feelings of closeness make them nervous.

The final result.

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After all, the good guy gets the girl.

In the movies, the main character – we call him Fred – is underrated, unlucky and annoyingly nice. A bombastic blonde moves in next door and Fred inevitably starts courting her. He is taunted by his friends for trying to woo a woman who is clearly out of his league.

He stands in front of her window and plays the song he heard her sing the day she moved in, writes her poems in the style of Florentino Ariza, and confronts her new boyfriend, Brody, the school athlete, for treating her badly. In the end he gets the girl.

You thought this was how your rags to riches love story would end.

Though you may be relieved that you don’t have to physically challenge the dumbass, you’re uncomfortable with the straightforwardness of your romantic conquest. How could the woman who captures the imagination of every man she walks past choose you? Well, my friend, you may have underestimated your magnificence.

That you are indeed the trophy husband every woman wants to shine on her mantelpiece. That could be true. Or the worst happened and you were duped by a Jezebel.

Women don’t always date someone because we see a romantic future with them. Maybe you let yourself be seduced. Maybe she just wants to date you because you keep inviting her to Zagat rated restaurants or because you look good on her IG. It may be that she really cared about you at first.

That your courtship worked and that what she felt for you was real and genuine. But after each appointment you slipped closer and closer to the relegation zone. You were soon booted into the friend zone, but she was too shy to end it. My friend, there are more reasons why a woman would take you further than there are women.

In this article we will not attempt to dissect the spirit of the Jezebel archetype. Instead, we’ll introduce you to the most popular signs you’ve come across and help you identify them. You will also learn about preventive measures you can take to not get carried on.

9 Signs You’re Being Led By A Woman You’re Dating

1. She’s new in town

We were all in their shoes.

You’re moving to a new city, alone but full of energy and ready to explore your new garden. But you’re not embarking on this expedition alone, so enlist the help of whoever is most willing to lend it. It doesn’t matter if that person is a woman, a guy, or something in between. It doesn’t matter if you are close to them or think you have a social future with them.

You decide to go downtown with your new mate for the simple reason that you don’t know anyone else and the person you just toasted with doesn’t seem like an asshole.

So did she just leave her life behind, packed her bags and settled in a new city where she has no friends or even acquaintances?

If that’s the case, she might consider you more of a tour guide than a romantic something.

For now, she won’t be picky about who she dates. The first person (male or female) to raise their hand and not have a mustard stain on their shirt will be approached on the first few weekends to explore the city.

Just because you’re dating a woman doesn’t mean you’re both dating. This isn’t the ’50s where if you asked a woman to hang out in a public place, the dynamic automatically meant it was a date. In today’s egalitarian social world, it’s not surprising that a guy and a woman sipping drinks and giggling in a dimly lit bar in the wee hours of the morning are nothing more than platonic buds cracking jokes about how cruel the newest Star Wars film was .

And no. Just because she didn’t explain it to you doesn’t mean she moved you on. Your expectations led you to more than your actions. If you want clarification on the dynamics, ask her.

2. She takes more than she gives

A greedy Jezebel manifests in a way that takes more than she gives, in ways that may not be as obvious as snatching $20 out of your wallet.

This can be difficult to identify. Gender norms – whatever they are – typically mean that a man gives more than a woman, especially in the early stages of the courtship phase. The norms of men paying to date won’t die until men and women are both paid equally, and even then, who knows.

Until that norm is abolished, you will give more than they do in certain contexts. Because of this, it can be difficult to tell when you’re exploiting something.

Taking more than she gives could come in the form of:

Repeatedly asking to sleep with you (but not with you)

ask for money

To make you their chauffeur

Ask to fix their house

Using her as an emotional crutch by talking about ex-boyfriends, guys she djed with who rejected her, other men she was dating, etc.

Just because you’re doing her laundry and walking her dog doesn’t necessarily mean she’s guiding you. Maybe she’s just needy. This is still an issue, just not the one we are currently dealing with.

3. She doesn’t answer you with urgency

Then, after receiving a gift, open it. It’s a gift after all, why on earth would anyone put it away, go about their lives and open it six hours later?

Text messages, phone calls, emails and FB messages are generally not considered gifts. Unless, of course, the sender is your new friend. Infatuation turns every SMS notification from your new lover into a digital gift. After receiving it, open it immediately and return it with a gift of your own. That’s what two people who are in love with each other do. But emotional connections aren’t always balanced.

The longer it takes her to reply, the less interested she is in you. There are of course exceptions. She might have forgotten to reply to a message or two, or have a personal policy of turning off her phone for a few hours every day after work. But if not responding in a timely manner becomes a habit, it’s clear that she’s not that into you.

If she texts every now and then to keep you interested, she could be crushing you. She will leave a crumb or two of social interaction to keep you with her until she needs you. This is a newer form of citing, but it’s all the rage right now.

4. She always tells you what you want to hear

There are three types of dates that will do this to you.

The first is the one who really enjoys you. She keeps complimenting you because she thinks you are worthy of such praise. The second type of dating feels too awkward to say anything bad about you, so it reflects your high self-esteem by agreeing with your high self-praise. Then there’s the woman you’re dating who uses her cunning to get something out of you.

She tells you what your ego wants to hear because later she will manipulate you to get what she wants. What she wants could be professional contacts so that you can pay the bill or let off steam quickly in the sack.

Dating an ego sweetheart can do your mental health some good for a few dates. But once your self-esteem is restored, let go of the toady for a woman who isn’t such a crowd-pleaser.

5. She always uses the restroom when the bill comes

George Costanza would argue that this is a real disease affecting both men and women across the country. But don’t let his many aliases fool you, George Constanza is not a real doctor.

Surely we all need to relieve ourselves a few times a day. But isn’t it a bit too convenient that she apologizes every time the bill comes? Could she be so smart that she has conditioned her body to answer nature’s call when the bill is called? Pavlov would certainly like to date this woman, but she might not be the right one for you.

You will be expected to foot the bill for the first few appointments. But an expectation and an obligation are distinctions she may not be familiar with. Evading because she doesn’t want to pay the bill is just embarrassing. If she liked you, she would be willing to at least split the check.

There are women who are more interested in the food than in the date. Studies say that up to 33% of women have dated a man because of access to free food.

Catch these hungry women in the act by setting a trap. When she comes back from the bathroom, she will have expected you to have already paid the bill. Instead, wait for her to come back and assess her willingness to pay the check. Even go so far as to ask them to share it. You’ll know she was only there for the food if she fights back or refuses to see you again.

6. She doesn’t kiss or have sex with you (always an excuse)

Does trying to kiss your date feel like trying to win at a rigged carnival game? No matter how much finesse is used, you still can’t seem to get the ball through the hoop. It makes the game look easier than it really is.

If you get rejected, it usually means she doesn’t like you. She will confirm this to you when she refuses to see you again. But what if she keeps dumping you despite your best efforts to encourage a physical romance?

This is a case of romantic dissonance. Her willingness to accept your date requests is inconsistent with her actions on the date. Find out why she’s not ready for a quick kiss. If she can’t give you a solid answer, ask why does she want to keep dating you? Is she using you or is she just not ready to be left out?

7. She flops at all the plans you try and make

Women (I include myself in this generalization) are naturally scaly, especially when it comes to men. Guys, especially the ones we don’t know very well, can be scary. They’re bigger and stronger, which is certainly stimulating, but also makes us easy targets. If we come up with a better plan than hanging out with a strange man we met online, we’ll bolt.

But therein lies the key. If your TDL/Date activity makes us feel safe and spiced up, then you can guarantee we will be there. If the date doesn’t sound convincing and she gets a better offer, she’ll flake off.

In this case, she might use you as a “warm body” to avoid being alone. That means you’re probably the last guy on the list she’ll hang out with, and when something better comes along, she’ll quickly flake off. If you find yourself in this position, I would strongly encourage you to make yourself less available on MegaDating.

It can help you control your mindset while showing her that you’re valuable because your time is hard to come by. That way you don’t play games by pretending not to be available, you really won’t be available because you’re going to have a great ol’ time with other babes. See you, fluffy chick.

8. She is a work colleague or in a student group with you

Do my homework and I’ll go out with you. Those are their terms. Maybe she didn’t spell them out as explicitly as I did, but we all know the deal.

You will never be equal to anyone if you start the relationship as their servant. Don’t exchange favors for a date. She is your business partner, not a prostitute. Just because you’re doing a take-home exam for her doesn’t mean she’s going to freak out.

Agreeing to such terms is only intended to diminish your perceived value. Just doing your professional and academic work will give you more time to search for a deserving wife.

9. She’s a friend of a friend

Telling someone you don’t want to go out can get awkward. This is why so many people resort to ghosting these days. But what if you can’t ghost?

If you both run in the same social circles, ghosting is out of the question. That means breaking the heart of a guy you’re going to see on game night next Thursday. But to avoid any embarrassment, some women will continue to date the guy while making subtle insinuations that she doesn’t want.

She’ll likely try to drop the hint by making up detailed excuses for why she can’t go out. A few excuses in a row and maybe you’ll get the hint. women do this. how should i know My friends did it, my cousins ​​did it, my mom did it and so did I. Dropping a guy can get awkward.

Increase your worth while getting over this woman from MegaDating. MD makes you less available to spend time with. It will in turn increase your value. Dating multiple women will mean you have to wait longer to text her back, write shorter messages, and stop asking her out as often as before.

What you can do to avoid being hit on by a woman you are dating

Use a TDL that contains the word “Date”.

A TDL stands for time, date, location. Using it when asking a woman out will make your intentions clear.

If she rejects your TDL or tries to change it, you’ll know she’s not that into you. If she rejects you, be thankful. Why invest time and money in a woman who doesn’t see a romantic future with you?

MegaDating

A MegaDater dates women at the same time. They’re productive dates, dating different people at once because they’re tired of waiting for “the one”. Paradoxically, people who go on MegaDate do so because they don’t want to date multiple women at the same time.

MegaDating decreases the likelihood of continuing to date a woman you know will carry you on.

Don’t spend more than $10 on the first two dates

Most women lead guys because they enjoy the lavish life that dating this guy gives them.

Let her earn this life. Weed out women with ulterior motives by spending no more than a whopping $10 on the first two dates combined. If she’s into your money, this frugal dating lifestyle will quickly push her in the opposite direction.

Just be direct with her

It’s sexy when a man knows what he wants and says it explicitly.

Examples: “I want to take you on a date”, “I want to kiss you”, “I want to see what you look like in a dress”, etc.

Being specific about your desires is not only attractive, it also clarifies your intentions. If she doesn’t feel you, she will also answer clearly. Telling someone you want to kiss them requires a response that reveals their feelings. It will reflect your direct style. Either she gives an answer that is clearly to be understood as negative or positive, or she distracts. Distraction can be understood as rejection if it consistently delays returning affection.

Hire a coach

Sometimes it’s hard to tell when you’re going to continue, especially when you’re in the middle of it. Talking to an outside observer who has no personal interest in the outcome can provide a helpful perspective.

If uncertainty is killing you, then it’s time to talk to a dating coach. Book a 1 to 1 Skype session with me today to find out if she’s taking you further or if she just likes to take things slow.

Through my 3 month Signature program I will teach you what you need to know to not repeat past mistakes. You’ll learn how to prospect for dates, how to flirt, how to ask a woman out, how to find your ideal next partner, and more.

The no contact rule after a relationship states that two ex-boyfriends should stay away from each other after a breakup so that both can deal with the reality of the breakup. That means no texting, no phone calls, no social media interaction, and no face-to-face contact.

Men and women tend to deal with being disconnected differently after a breakup, and they may have different expectations based on how things ended. Here’s more about the female psychology of the no-contact rule and how to make the most of it.

Female psychology after a breakup says that a woman wants a man to pursue her, especially when you were both unsure whether to end things or take a break.

She will be heartbroken at the beginning of the no contact period, but she will be desperate for you to chase after her. She will constantly be hoping for a call or text message.

You may be wondering, “Will she miss me if I’m out of touch?” and the answer is that she probably will in the early stages. She may be confused because on the one hand she thinks the breakup was necessary, on the other hand she will wonder if it was the right thing to do.

Being “out of touch” with someone you’ve spent a lot of time with and planned a future with can be painful. A woman going through periods of non-contact is likely to feel angry, sad, and lonely.

While a woman is likely to feel sadness in the early stages of the lack of contact, she will quickly get over her ex over time. Which brings us to another frequently asked question about the female psychology of the no-contact rule: “Does no-contact work for women?”

The answer to this question is a resounding yes. If you want to end a relationship and convince your ex to move on, no contact will definitely work. Your ex girlfriend will quickly forget the relationship after getting over her initial sadness and anger, your ex girlfriend will quickly forget the relationship.

No contact can also be helpful if she needs some time away from you to get over the pain you’ve caused her. In this case, time apart can give her the rest she needs to work things out and get back together with you.

It is helpful to understand what happens in the female mind when there is no contact. Since no contact begins, chances are your ex is quite upset.

Female psychology after a breakup has shown that women tend to have a more intense emotional response than men after a breakup.

She is likely to experience significant grief during this out of touch period. She will also have countless thoughts running through her head. She will wonder if you’re thinking about her or if you’re taking the time to think about your role in the breakup.

She will also wonder if you ever really loved her or miss her. During this time, she will have a deep sense of confusion as she tries to decide if the breakup was right.

She will also remember the good times in the relationship and she will probably miss you as she is reminded of the time you spent together.

So what is she thinking while out of touch? To understand what she thinks, you need to know the stages of non-contact for a woman.

Right after the breakup, she’s probably thinking about why you’re not reaching out to her. She may think you’re avoiding contact to be angry or to have the “upper hand.” At some point she will worry about why you decided not to keep in touch.

She will also reflect on whether the split was the right choice. If she’s the one who initiated the breakup, chances are she’s incredibly angry and repeating everything you did wrong.

She cannot get over her resentment towards you because she is so hurt and her pain is so strong.

On the other hand, if you initiated the breakup, she will experience intense grief during the initial non-contact periods. She will blame herself for the breakup and wonder what was wrong with her.

She will reflect intensely on herself and think about what she could have done differently.

Over time, her emotions will become less intense and she will be able to see the situation more objectively.

If the two of you are not socializing, she will spend less time thinking about you and more time thinking about herself and her hopes and dreams.

When the focus shifts away from you, she will consider moving on with life. She will connect with friends and loved ones and focus on becoming the best version of herself.

She may occasionally think about missing you or wonder what could have been, but once she gets over her initial pain and starts moving on, she will realize that she can be happy without you.

That’s what’s so significant about the female psychology of the no-contact rule: women feel an initial period of grief and then move on. Men, on the other hand, begin the period of moving on immediately after the breakup.

They can hook up with other people right away, or they can put aside all thoughts of their ex, only to be hit like a brick wall by grief a few weeks later.

If you’re going through a breakup and have lost touch with your ex, you’re likely to have a lot of questions running through your mind, such as: B. “Does she miss me when we’re not in touch?” and “Does she think about me when we’re not in touch?”

You may also feel anxious, wondering if you will ever get back together or if this is the end.

The 16 truths about the female psychology of the social distancing rule may provide some answers to your questions.

Related reading: Getting Back With Your Ex Using The No Contact Rule

1. Your feelings are strong

While going through the stages of non-contact, a woman is likely to have strong emotions. If things went badly or you’ve hurt her deeply, her feelings are likely to cause her to form strong negative opinions of you.

2. She will hold a grudge

Women experience intense emotional pain after a breakup. Even if she misses you, she will have a hard time letting go of her sadness. If you had wronged her, she would probably be mad at you for quite a while.

3. She misses you

If you spend time with someone in a committed relationship, you will miss them after you cut ties with them. Finally, when you implement the no contact rule, if you talk to your significant other on a daily basis, assume that you are breaking up and having no communication.

Of course she will miss you, but being angry with you and working through her pain will likely override her feelings of missing you.

4. She doesn’t forget anything

Women tend to have strong emotional memories, which means they won’t forget things that happened during the relationship. This has both advantages and disadvantages.

During the non-contact periods, your ex will remember both the positive and negative aspects of the relationship. If there were more positives than negatives, this can help her forgive you and reconcile the relationship, which will be to your advantage if you decide to get back together.

On the other hand, if the relationship was filled with hurt and pain, she will remember the negative emotions associated with the relationship and will have a hard time forgiving you.

5. She may go through withdrawal

There is evidence that romantic relationships affect the brain in a similar way to drug addiction. That is, when a relationship ends, the brain goes through detox. No contact allows her to get through the withdrawal phase rather than remain hooked.

Not maintaining contact allows her to “get off the drug” that was your relationship. On the other hand, keeping in touch, whether it’s through a random text message or accidentally bumping into each other, makes her feel “high” again and makes it harder for her to move on.

Watch this video to learn more about how a breakup is similar to drug rehab:

6. If done right, it could help her stop getting angry at you

We’ve found that women experience emotional memories very intensely, which means she can hold on to negative things you’ve done because she’s in so much pain. While this is the case, being distant from you might help those negative memories fade over time.

It doesn’t necessarily mean the two of you will get back together, nor does it mean she’s forgotten, but having time away from you will relieve her of the intense pain you’ve caused, potentially allowing her to heal. so feelings of love can surface again.

7. She won’t wallow forever

If you’re the one who’s not sure what you want, remember that one of the effects of lack of contact on women is that it can allow them to move away from the relationship. Don’t expect her to wait forever for you to make up your mind.

Women are resilient, and if you go away from contact for more than a few weeks, she will realize that she needs to move on and she will turn her attention to becoming the best version of herself without you.

8. Begging and pleading don’t work

If she hasn’t initiated contact, begging and asking her to reconsider or take you back probably won’t work. At this point, she’s probably given you so many chances to change your behavior, and she’s ready to step on the gas.

The best thing you can do if you want a chance at reconciliation is to respect her wishes and give her some space. She probably won’t reach out to you because she wants you to charge, so you should ask her if she’s ready to talk again after you’ve given her some time.

9. She’ll probably question herself

Even if she wanted the breakup, she’ll likely doubt herself. She can use the phases of non-contact as an opportunity for self-reflection.

During this time she was able to realize that there were some things she could have done differently. She may feel guilty and may just be making a subtle attempt to contact you at this point. It can be as simple as “liking” a photo on your Instagram or asking a friend about you.

10. She will work hard to convince herself that she made the right choice

A woman may guess herself, but she will likely deal with those feelings by convincing herself that she did the right thing. She can tell friends and family that she made the right choice, and she will try to work toward moving on, even if she’s a little insecure inside.

Despite her efforts to move on, she’ll likely still feel torn. She will vacillate between feeling good about her decision not to initiate contact and feeling sad about leaving the relationship because she isn’t sure she can live without you.

Also try: Was Separation the Right Choice Quiz?

11. She finally accepts it

The key to social distancing for women is that they eventually come to a state of acceptance, even if they didn’t want the breakup. This means that if you choose to remain contactless forever, you’d better be sure that’s what you want.

You can’t wait to move on and live your life only to decide a year later that you do want to be with her after all. It’s probably too late and she’ll probably thrive without you.

Related Reading: Developing Acceptance Skills in a Relationship

12. There is no magic solution to get them back

If no contact wasn’t what you wanted, maybe you’re looking for a magic solution to get them back. Unfortunately, nothing can be said or done.

The best you can hope for is that by giving her space and time, she will eventually move to a place where she can forgive your mistakes.

13. Remember that it is a healing process before anything else

Regardless of whether the two of you get back together, no contact rule in female psychology says the primary purpose of this stage is healing. This could mean healing from pain so the two of you can reconcile, or healing to the point where you can leave the relationship and find happiness without each other.

That said, the best thing you can do is work on yourself. Try setting new goals, exploring your hobbies and interests, taking care of yourself, and working on some of your shortcomings. Whether you get back together or not, you’ll be better off after this healing process.

14. No contact means no contact

If you want non-contact to be successful, whether it’s helping you move on permanently or giving you time to work on yourself so you can eventually make up, you need to commit to absolutely no contact.

That means you have to refrain, even if you’re tempted to text, search her social media, or show up at a place she goes frequently. Even if it’s just for a week or two, no contact really has to mean absolutely no contact if you want it to be effective.

15. Chasing you isn’t the answer

While she may want you to be the one who doesn’t reach out after no contact, pursuing her further when she’s actively asking for distance isn’t the answer. If she has indicated that she wishes to take a break or go through a no-contact period, you must comply.

You may be tempted to chase her even harder if she doesn’t want contact, but this will have the opposite effect as it will push her farther away.

If you decide to reach out down the road (which may be exactly what she wants), you’ll have to wait until you’ve gone through at least a short period of no contact.

Also try: Are you a Persecutor or a Persecuted?

16. When she’s done, she’s done

While a woman is likely to feel some uncertainty about a breakup, once she’s decided that she’s 100% done and has made that clear, she means it. There are some instances where no contact is short-lived, but if she tells you she never wants to hear from you again, you can be pretty sure she’s done.

If you’ve hurt a woman so badly that she decides to move on once and for all, it’s not a decision she made lightly. She probably gave too many second chances, and she decided she deserved better.

A strong woman who has decided to keep going permanently is unlikely to change her mind.

When you reach this level of no-contact female psychology, you’ll know because she won’t sugarcoat anything: she’s done!

Women experience intense emotions when they are hurt, and they may take longer than men to move on when they have been wronged. Your ex probably won’t forget your mistakes during dating, but the time between them might give her time to forgive you, meaning reconciliation is possible.

Female dumper psychology says that if she wasn’t sure if breaking up was the right choice, she’s more likely to forgive you and give you a second chance.

For example, if you made mistakes but there were many good aspects to your relationship, she may not have been sure about breaking up with you.

In this case, she’s rather confused about the breakup, which means she might be persuaded to reconsider and get back together. Research has shown that couples who are ambivalent about the decision to separate are more likely to reconcile.

If she was unsure about forgiving you for your mistakes, staying away can give her the space to process her feelings and realize that forgiving you and making up is the best choice.

That doesn’t mean she will forget your mistakes, and if you want the relationship to last this time, you have to show that you’ve changed.

How to properly apply the no-contact rule for women depends on your goals. If you have initiated the breakup and want her to heal and move on with life, you should not keep in touch.

Don’t try to offer friendship or suggest that the two of you talk; this will only make things more confusing and painful for them.

On the other hand, if the goal of no contact was to give you both a break to process your feelings and figure out how to make up, you can use the no contact rule to your advantage by giving her time to cool down and then apologize after she has had some time to process her feelings.

Similarly, if she initiated the breakup but you feel like you can make things work, you need to take the pursuit and convince her to give you a second chance.

Keep in mind that many women want to be followed even if they initiated the breakup. If she’s banning you because she’s angry or hurt by something you did, give her a few weeks and then reach out.

Offer to meet and talk and apologize. When you reach out to her to tell her how much you’ve missed her and to reignite the relationship, her anger and pain can gradually fade away.

take that away

Breakups are challenging, and one way to deal with them is with the no-contact rule. The Female Psychology of the No Contact Rule says that cutting off all contact after a breakup is the best decision.

So you can both clear your mind and either end the relationship or decide to work things out and get back together.

If no contact persists and you don’t chase after her, a woman is likely to drop out of the relationship. She will be able to turn her attention to herself as she will learn that she can be happy without you.

On the other hand, the contact ban for women is not always permanent. If your relationship has had more good than bad, she may not want the breakup to be permanent.

Unfortunately, what happens during lockdown isn’t always to your advantage. Maybe you’re dying to get back together, but she just doesn’t see a future with you. In this case, you may need to keep going, even if it’s very painful.

If you’re struggling to deal with the grief that occurs after a breakup, you may benefit from seeking therapy. A therapist can help you process your emotions and develop coping strategies to keep sadness from taking over everything.

You broke up with your partner, but he won’t leave you alone.

Or maybe they left you, but now they suddenly have an extreme interest in you and won’t stop texting.

So what’s up?

Most likely, your ex still sees potential in the two of you as a couple and is trying to gauge your interest.

If your ex keeps coming back into your life, they’re testing the waters to see if there’s a chance of reviving your relationship.

Why is my ex checking me out?

Having an ex checking on you all the time can be confusing and even annoying.

You’re trying to recover from the breakup, but how are you supposed to do that when your ex won’t leave you alone?

You may be wondering, “Is my ex girlfriend testing me or my ex boyfriend?” If so, the following reasons will help you better understand your ex’s behavior:

Your ex is trying to get back with you. This is the most common reason he or she checks on you. However, be careful if you don’t get back together too soon. If unsuccessful, it could set back your healing and leave you in an even worse position than you were before.

Your ex just wants to see what you’re up to. He or she is just curious, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they want to get back together. After being a part of their life for so long, they just want to see how you are.

Your ex wants to make you jealous. Sometimes an ex will check on you just to get your attention. Because they’re still bitter about the breakup, your ex wants you to notice how great they are to make you feel worse.

Your ex is trying to see if you’ve changed. If the breakup was your fault, your ex may check you in to see if your behavior has improved. They want to get back together but aren’t sure if they can fully trust you.

Your ex is playing with you. Unfortunately, some people are just idiots. Maybe they are upset after the breakup and want revenge on you. So they check you out to play around with your feelings and stop you from moving on.

17 Signs Your Ex Is Testing You To See If You’re Still Interested

So how do you know if your ex is still interested in you? Here are 17 signs they’re testing you to get your attention.

1. They ask how you are.

If you’re asking yourself, “Why is my ex asking how I’m doing?” they’re probably trying to get you to think about the breakup. Your ex asks you to think back on the relationship in hopes that you will realize how much you love and miss him.

They think that if they can get you to feel your feelings about the breakup and remember your good memories together, you will decide that your relationship deserves another chance.

2. They ignore you.

You break up and the next thing you know, you’re completely cut off! Maybe you’re trying to close the deal or just make an appointment to get your stuff back – but the only response you get is radio silence.

You start thinking, “Is my ex testing me by ignoring me?” Chances are they’re ignoring you because they know it will upset you. They want you back, but they don’t want to admit it. If you give in and text them first, they’ll know you’re still interested.

3. They will not return your stuff.

If your ex is reluctant to give things back, it’s a sure sign that he’s still interested in you. Your ex believes they can delay the inevitable by making excuses not to return your possessions. Because the more they falter, the longer they have before you cut them off.

This behavior also forces you to contact her regularly, which is exactly what your ex wants. Keeping your stuff gives them the leverage they need to keep in touch while they try to figure out if you’re still interested.

4. They lurk on your social media.

Maybe your ex hasn’t tried to reach you since the breakup, but you notice that they’re lurking on your social media profiles — looking at your stories, liking your old posts, or even unfollowing “-game is playing with you.

This action is an indicator that your ex is trying to get your attention. They don’t want to contact you directly, so instead they use subtle social media behaviors to see if you’re still interested in them.

5. They’re trying to get a reaction out of you.

Your ex knows you well — which means they know what will set you off. Don’t be surprised if they do things that get under your skin on purpose. It may seem cold hearted, but they probably aren’t trying to hurt you. They’re just trying to get a reaction.

If you react negatively and get upset about their actions, it is an indication that you are still interested in them. If you don’t seem bothered, your ex will know the ship has sailed.

6. You find reasons to show up where you are.

There’s a knock on your door late at night and it’s your ex with a lousy excuse for having to come by. Or maybe they show up at your job. Whatever it may be, an ex who tests the waters will find the smallest of reasons to show up where you are.

They’ll pay close attention to your initial reunion reaction and will use that to determine whether or not you might still be interested.

7. You check in randomly.

If your ex often sends you short texts out of the blue, it is a clear sign that he is testing you. They might show up to ask how you’re doing or just say “hey.”

It’s not like they’re trying to talk to you. Your ex throws the ball in your field to see how you react or if you even answer him. They also do this to stay in the back of their minds.

8. They try to make you jealous.

This is one of the most common and most painful indicators that your ex is testing you. It’s a surefire way to tell if you still have feelings for her. If you still want to be with them, you will be devastated to find out that they have been seeing someone else.

Your ex is likely to exaggerate how great their dating life is or post mysterious things on social media that lead you to believe they are in a new relationship. Texting them to find out what’s going on (or asking mutual friends) tells them you’re still interested.

9. They chat casually.

Whether it’s chatting about the weather or the new restaurant that just opened in town, your ex always seems to have something to talk to you about. It could be because they want you back, but they’re too scared to say it outright.

Instead, they keep talking to you casually. Whether you engage with your ex and how engaged you appear in the conversation tells him or her everything they need to know about whether or not you’re still into them.

More related articles

45 probing questions to ask your ex

You need to know these 11 things in a relationship that are non-negotiable

21 examples of healthy boundaries in relationships

10. They lean on you for support.

Of all the people they have in their life, your ex always comes to you when they need a shoulder to lean on. It can be confusing at first, but it’s a useful testing technique they can use to see if you still care.

You might offer to bring them dinner or come over to see their favorite movie to cheer them up. If you are always there for your ex, it is a sign that you still have feelings for your ex.

11. You ponder “what ifs”.

If your ex seems overly interested in your opinion on the breakup and what went wrong, this is probably a tactic to test your interest.

They’ll ask you hypothetical questions like, “Do you think we would have broken up if…?” or “How do you think it would have turned out if…?” Your ex wants you to talk so he can gauge your reaction, um determine if your relationship still has a chance.

12. They ask you questions.

Asking you questions is a tactic your ex might use if they’re feeling brave. They might ask you directly how you feel about the breakup and if you still think there’s a chance it could work out.

The questions could also be more subtle. For example, if your ex asks how your dating life is going, they’re trying to figure out if you’ve moved on without asking you directly.

13. They’re trying to make up with you.

If your ex wants to see if you’re still interested in him, chances are he’s trying to make up with you. Maybe the breakup was their fault and they apologize for hurting you hoping you will forgive them.

Or maybe you ended up on a sour note and they are approaching you to try to clear the air. By breaking down the barriers that are preventing you from having a successful relationship, your ex hopes that you are ready to try again.

14. They become vulnerable with you.

A less common tactic your ex might use to gauge your interest is honesty. They get straight to the point and aren’t afraid to open up. They miss you and want you back, so they spell it out clearly.

It can come as a surprise when your ex lays his cards on the table like this. However, it’s often a good sign that they’ve worked on their mistakes and your relationship deserves a second chance.

15. You make the desired changes.

Maybe you broke up with your ex because they didn’t meet your needs. But now that you’ve broken up, they’re suddenly making all the changes you’ve previously asked them to make.

Your ex is trying to show you that he has changed in hopes that you will get back to him. Don’t be fooled, however, as this is often just an act. Once you show that you’re still interested in fixing your relationship, they’ll go back to their old ways.

16. You jump to conclusions.

Another strategy your ex might use to test you is to make intentional assumptions to see how you react. Maybe they joke about how fast you’ve gotten on or how great your dating life must be to see what you’re saying.

If you state that you’ve moved on, your ex can just dismiss the questions as a light-hearted joke. But when you give them the answer they were hoping for, it gives them the green light that you’re interested in getting back together.

17. They walk back and forth.

If your ex is giving you mixed signals, it’s another clear sign that he’s testing you. In a minute they’ll profess their love and beg for you back. Then it’s like they don’t even care about you.

They get hot and cold with you to see how you react. Are you becoming more clingy or are you withdrawing? How you react will tell your ex a lot about how you feel about them. It’s a cruel game to see if their confusing behavior hurts you or not.

What to do if you see signs your ex is trying to get your attention

If you notice signs that your ex is testing the waters, what should you do? The truth is that there is no right answer to this question. It all depends on why you broke up and whether or not you left on good terms.

Below are some ideas on how to handle the situation.

Put your healing first.

Being single is the perfect time to discover yourself and cultivate self-love. Just because your ex is reaching out and trying to get your attention doesn’t mean you should give it to them. Breakups are painful, so make sure to protect your heart. Put yourself and your healing first.

Decide if you want to reply.

You might feel pressured to answer because it’s about someone you used to care about. But you’re not obligated to provide an answer just because it’s your ex. Decide whether you want to strike up a conversation with them or whether you should ignore their attempts.

get degree.

Instead of getting upset that your ex keeps calling, see the situation as an opportunity to find closure. Talk about your relationship and what led to the breakup. This conversation can give you peace of mind that you made the right decision and help you grow so you don’t make the same mistakes in future relationships.

Decide if you want to get back together.

Maybe your ex is trying to get your attention because he wants to get back together. So decide if resuming your relationship is a possibility. You may have broken up over trifles, but other than that your relationship has been strong. If so, you might find yourself ready to try again.

Consider cutting off all contact.

If you see signs that your ex is testing the waters and you don’t feel ready to talk again, don’t feel bad about breaking it off entirely. Your ex doesn’t deserve your attention and your healing should come first. So don’t hesitate to block and move on if that’s what’s best for you.

If your ex keeps showing up in your life after the breakup, it’s a strong indicator that he’s testing you. They are still interested in you and want to see if you feel the same way.

Share on Pinterest damircudic/Getty Images Dating today often means dating online. And being able to connect with others online is certainly an advantage right now. Still, as you cycle through OKCupid, Tinder, and Bumble, you’ll likely encounter some frustrations as well. Along with fake photos, inaccurate relationship statuses, and offensive messages, you may encounter other less salient behaviors — and lots of new jargon that goes with it. Are you already familiar with ghosting, banking and slow fading? Here’s another term you should know: breadcrumbing. Someone who leads breadcrumbs leads you further by dropping small tidbits of interest — the occasional text, call, schedule, or social media interaction. These occur sporadically and are usually of no consequence. When they sense you’re ready to throw in the towel, they’ll follow you a little more closely. But once you devour the breadcrumbs they drop and wait for more, you realize the trail has stopped once again. Why do people do this? More importantly, how can you sweep away the crumbs once and for all?

Signs you’re getting crumbled. Get to know someone who seems a little noncommittal? Maybe enough messages are leaking onto your phone that you’re sure they’re still interested. If they didn’t like you, they would eventually stop texting, right? In reality, people who work with breadcrumbs want to keep you interested, even if they have no real plans to start a relationship. Breadcrumbing Signs A typical breadcrumber might: not respond to texts or chats for several days or weeks, and then send a few long messages without explaining why they temporarily disappeared

Mention common interests or experiences to strengthen the bond

Let vague statements like “Let’s fill this in” glimpse you into the future

imply they would like to see you but ignore your requests to make an actual plan

Keep messages superficial and general rather than offering specific details or showing an interest in your daily life

View or like your social media posts without replying while still ignoring the actual messages you sent

communicate mainly with photos, memes or emojis

Show an interest in dating but not spending non-physical time together. Usually someone who drops breadcrumbs doesn’t feel quite ready to write off the possibility of seeing you again. As soon as you stop responding or indicate that you are losing interest, they might step up their efforts by suddenly maintaining regular contact, making specific plans, and following through with them. This seemingly renewed interest could reinforce your original attraction and give you renewed hope of forming a real, lasting connection. After a short time, however, they drift off the track again and the pattern begins again. They reach for your phone with every notification, but you can’t get them to respond with more than a late-night text message or two.

Why People Do It Breadcrumbing can feel confusing, frustrating, and bloody painful. It also wastes your time. If you like someone who drops those crumbs of interest, you might think they want to get to know you and start a relationship — that is, once their schedule is clear. In other words, it gives you hope for something that is unlikely to happen. Some people may realize that their communication tactics leave something to be desired, but they may be less aware of how much their vague, sporadic messages annoy them. Breadcrumbing can certainly be intentional, but more indirect motives can also drive this behavior. They like you but don’t want to commit. Many people find the idea of ​​commitment in a relationship more than they can handle. They want to connect but lack the interest or emotional availability to sustain a deeper involvement. They find you attractive and enjoy talking to you, so they keep the connection going. But they’re not willing to work toward a meaningful relationship, so they hold back just enough to prevent things from progressing. This doesn’t do you any favors if you want a long-term commitment and feel perfectly capable of building one. You’re not ready to say goodbye. You can also crumble ex-partners. They’ve agreed to end the relationship and move on, but they keep sending the occasional text or photo along with a “I thought of you” or “Miss you today.” These mixed signals can confuse you, especially if you have some lingering feelings. Do you want to try again? Do they hope to keep in touch as friends? Or do you test the water for a no-obligation fling? They might have an innocent reason, like a desire for friendship, that they’re not quite sure how to communicate. Sometimes, breadcrumbs from an ex can also indicate an attempt to maintain control or rekindle your interest, especially after you’ve ended the relationship. You’re Lonely Someone who lacks healthy friendships and relationships and has trouble connecting with others may find it easier to maintain multiple shallow connections. They may recognize that they are struggling to form healthy relationships, but don’t know how to productively address the problem. Breadcrumbing can thus become a way of satisfying social needs. They drop enough crumbs so that they always have someone to talk to, without realizing that superficial relationships won’t necessarily alleviate loneliness in the way they hope. Friendly and romantic connections are certainly important, but a close friendship or two generally prove more fulfilling than a series of casual friendships. Someone in a committed relationship with a busy or distant partner might even use breadcrumbs to find emotional and social fulfillment where they can, even though they know they won’t go as far as dating someone. (This still generally counts as a micro-fraud.) They see you as a backup plan. People can also use breadcrumbing as a tactic to keep your connection alive in case their current relationship isn’t working out. They make vague plans and put you off because they really don’t have any free time since they already have a partner. Still, they’ll let you simmer on the back burner, stirring the pot every now and then with a “You’ve been on my mind lately” or “Let’s get together soon.” There’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to get to know a lot of people in order to find the best match. But it becomes problematic (and painful) when people don’t talk openly about their motivations and relationship status, or when they intentionally deceive you to keep you interested.

Is it breadcrumbs or bad communication? In some cases, breadcrumbing may not be intentional. Good communication skills don’t come naturally to everyone, and some people struggle to convey interest and romantic feelings in a way that’s easy to understand. Also keep in mind that the text lacks sound. It’s pretty easy to get the wrong impression or misinterpret someone’s words, especially if that’s your primary method of communication. Let’s say you just found someone you really want to meet. You don’t want to seem too brash, so ask a few questions and then give them time to respond. If their answers don’t steer the conversation in a new direction, take a day or two to think about what you want to say next. They also don’t say anything, making you wonder if they’re really into you. After a few days of debate, send another message to show you’re still interested. You reply and you exchange a few more messages. However, they still can’t tell if they have a genuine interest and you back off again. Experiences like these are fairly common when dating online, especially among people who fear rejection or worry about how they will come across to others. You could also unintentionally get into breadcrumbing if you don’t know what you want. Maybe you have a lot of fun on your casual dates or date nights. Some days you think you’d like to move on, but other times you doubt you’re ready for the commitment that a relationship requires. While it’s perfectly fine to have unclear or uncertain relationship goals, it’s also important to make sure you share them with potential dating partners. Breadcrumbing doesn’t just cause people heartache – it also keeps them from finding someone who knows what they want.

How to Respond to It Recent research examining breadcrumbing (yes, it’s a thing) in dating suggests that it often contributes to feelings of loneliness and helplessness. Experiencing breadcrumbs can also make you less satisfied with life in general, and no wonder — you put your life on hold for someone who shows just enough interest to fuel your sense of hope, but not enough to get the one you want to establish connection. Try these strategies instead of picking up the crumbs they scatter. Give them a call If you think someone is crushing you, demonstrating the behavior can do two things: It shows your awareness of any attempts to direct you.

It gives them an opportunity to share personal concerns like health or family issues that might get in the way of more regular communication and dating. Try this: “I get frustrated when I don’t hear from you for several days, especially since I see you’ve read my messages. I totally understand that life is complicated, but I’m looking for someone who will keep in touch regularly and let me know if anything comes up.” Strike up a conversation about relationship goals. People want different things from their relationships. These needs may not remain static over time, especially when you consider the various complications of everyday life. Maybe they wanted to pursue a relationship when you first met, but things have changed since then and they’re not sure how to address it. It never hurts to check in and provide a reminder of what you’re looking for. Try this: “I feel like we have different relationship goals right now. I want to work on building a stable relationship. How about you?” Suggest a specific date and time for the meeting. You know the, “We should definitely go back to that park soon.”

“Let’s plan that in the near future.”

“I look forward to seeing you again.” Counter this behavior by being specific instead. “Yes, we should. How about a picnic on Saturday lunchtime?”

“I have next weekend and the weekend after next free. What suits you best?”

“My schedule is pretty open. What nights do you have off?” Offering specific times can lead to an actual meeting if they’re not intentionally trying to crumble you. If they don’t really want to meet up, they’re likely to avoid committing to a date or canceling plans at the last minute. In this case, you can try, “You seem pretty busy, so I’ll let you make an appointment when you’re free.” Respect your own needs. You might notice that they have no intention of getting serious, but they do you don’t really care. They may feel totally okay with casually meeting up when they have time, or seeing them when they’re between partners. That’s absolutely fine as long as you know what you want for yourself. If you want more regular communication and an established relationship, make it clear that you’re not willing to wait around.

Most guys who try to make their ex girlfriends miss them end up looking like idiots.

The reason is simple, her ex girlfriend sees through their manipulation or lie they used to make her miss her.

And sometimes your ex girlfriend will dupe you with the manipulation and the lies. She’s going to give you a shit test and if you fail that test, you’ll end up looking like an idiot. A fucking idiot who ends up calling her and begging her to take you back.

In this article I am going to teach you how to make your ex girlfriend really miss you. And I’ll teach you how to pass shit tests and not look like an idiot when she tries to outdo you.

The big picture

Now I assume you want your ex girlfriend to miss you because eventually you want to get her back.

Finally, if that’s not what you want; then you’re just wasting your precious mental energy trying to make someone miss you who you don’t even want in your life.

If your ultimate goal is to get her back, then I want you to read this article.

How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back – 5 Steps (FREE)

It might be the best article on the web about it. Here’s what one of my readers emailed me about this article.

Does it matter that your ex girlfriend misses you while you’re out of touch?

If you have read the article above, you know that making your ex girlfriend miss you while out of contact is only optional. That means you don’t have to make her miss you to get her back.

wait what

The truth is, just because your ex girlfriend misses you doesn’t mean she wants to be with you again in the future. It’s normal for a girl to miss you when she’s been with you for a long time (more than 3 months) and was attached to you throughout the relationship.

But just because she misses you doesn’t mean she wants you back. This doesn’t mean that she will forget the reasons for your breakup.

And just because she misses you doesn’t mean she thinks you two have a future as a couple or that things will change when you get back together.

Making her miss you is just a small part of a bigger picture if you want to get her back and keep her.

And if you don’t understand this picture, if you don’t have a game plan; You are only preparing for disappointment.

Because even if you do manage to make her miss you, if you don’t play your cards right, you may lose her forever.

Read this article again to get the big picture and learn how to get and keep them back.

On the other hand, she might not miss you when there is no contact, and you might still be able to get her back if you make the right moves and follow the game plan in the article above.

What about her missing you after being out of touch?

It’s important that she misses you after you’re no longer in touch. Once you get to level 3 and level 4 to get her back, you’ll want her to miss you when she’s not talking to you.

If you follow everything in this damn article I keep talking about, you will automatically make her miss you. But in this article, we will discuss a few more strategies to make her miss you after no contact.

But before we do that, let’s talk a little bit about what actually happens inside us when we miss something or someone. Understanding this emotion is important if you want to make your ex miss you.

How do we miss someone or something?

Have you ever thought about how suddenly you’re missing something? It’s not like you make a conscious choice to miss out.

Do you ever think I want to miss the cake my mom used to bake every Sunday?

No one ever makes a conscious choice to evoke a feeling of missing out.

In order to evoke this feeling of missing, it takes two things

A Stimulus – Something that triggers a thought in your mind related to the thing or person you miss. Absence – You need the absence of the thing or person you are missing in your life.

Let’s go back to this cake example. Why do you miss your mother’s cake?

Stimulus: You smelled a delicious cake while walking past a bakery. The smell acted as a stimulus. It reminded you of all the delicious cakes your mom used to bake for you. Absence: The fact that you haven’t visited your mother in over six months and you haven’t tried that delicious apple pie since your last visit. Add in the fact that you skipped breakfast because you were late for the office in the morning. And now you have a strong absence of what you miss.

Well, here’s the tricky part. To evoke the feeling of missing, you need both stimulus and absence. It’s not possible to miss someone just by their absence or just by an attraction.

But the amount of stimulus you need is in turn conducive to the amount of absence you need. And vice versa.

Confused?

let me explain.

If the absence of the thing or person is quite large at this point, you may not need a very direct stimulus to evoke the emotion of missing.

From here we speak of absence and stimulus quantity in percent. We assume that you need a total of 100% for the emotion of missing to arise. Note that these percentages are approximate in each case and I’m only using numbers to illustrate my point.

Let’s go back to this cake example.

Absence: You didn’t have breakfast. You’re late for lunch. And you haven’t eaten your mother’s delicious food in over a year. (about 70% absent) Stimulus: You walk past a group of kids playing baseball in the park. It reminds you of how you used to play baseball with your buddies in high school. Then it reminds you of how you used to go home and have that apple pie your mom used to make for all your friends. Before you know it, you’re missing the cake. (approx. 30% stimulus)

In the scenario above, the stimulus is not directly related to pies. But you have a strong absence of something you value. It is reinforced by the fact that you are hungry. So your mind finds a way to associate something not even cake related with cake.

The converse can also be true.

Absence: Suppose you had a decent lunch and a great dessert. You just got back from visiting your mother a month ago and ate some cakes while you were there. (30% Absence) Stimulus: But literally everything around you is screaming for cake. Your friend is talking about the amazing raspberry cake at the new cafe. Your buddies call you and talk about the good old days when you played and ate cake. You even see a cake commercial on TV. (70% excitation)

At this point, although there is no strong absence of the thing in your life, the extreme stimulus will likely cause you to miss the cake.

How do you make your ex girlfriend miss you?

Now that we understand the importance of making them miss you (not really important during no contact, extremely important after no contact) and the basics of missing (stimulus and absence); We’re going to go over some tactics on how to use it with your ex girlfriend and how to avoid it exploding in your face.

Tactic #1: No Contact

One of the most obvious ways to make your ex girlfriend miss you is to stay away from it. I’m sure you’ve come across this term hundreds of times when searching for breakups online.

No contact means stop contacting your ex girlfriend. It’s very important that you do this if you want to win her back. In Phase 1 of this article I will go into detail on how no contact affects you and your ex girlfriend.

Here I will explain why no contact is one of the most effective strategies to make your ex girlfriend miss you.

How No Contact Makes Your Ex Girlfriend Miss You?

You and your ex probably spoke to each other almost every day while you were together. I’m assuming you’ve been together for quite a while. Let’s say you’ve been together for a year or even longer.

Your ex girlfriend is used to talking to you about her day, her feelings, her likes, dislikes and everything in between for almost a year.

After the breakup, she still has the desire to talk to you about these things. But she will probably stop herself because she decided to break up with you and move on.

However, they (going through grief and denial) choose to contact her every day in any way they can. You text her, call her, message her on Facebook.

Many men do this to remind them of the good times. They do it to try and create a stimulus in her mind to make her remember the good times and miss them.

But they forget that the “missing” emotion cannot possibly arise unless there is both a stimulus and an absence.

If you continue to contact her, tell her indirectly

“Hey, even though you broke up with me, I still love you and I’m still waiting for you. And you don’t have to worry about anything because I will always love you and will continue to wait for you.”

By contacting them, you are conveying the above message to their subconscious. Essentially, you are telling her that you are still present in her life and will always be present in her life.

And when you are present in their life, YOU ARE NOT ABSENT.

So she won’t miss you no matter how much appeal you try to give.

By not making contact, you completely reverse the equation.

If you stop contacting her, you suddenly become absent from her life. If she doesn’t hear from you for a week, she will start to feel a strong absence of you in her life.

And here’s the great part, since you both just broke up, the absence she’ll feel for you will be through the roof. I would say the absence she will feel will be around 90%.

When she’s going through grief, everything acts as a stimulus to remind her of you.

The sofa you used to sit and snuggle up on and watch Netflix.

The computer on which you installed Windows for them.

The new iPhone game you taught her how to play.

The café where you first met.

The lingerie she was wearing the first time you had sex.

Everything will remind her of you. This is the power of non-contact.

But remember, just because she misses you doesn’t mean she automatically wants you back. If she has decided to break up with you, she will want to stick with it.

How to avoid looking like a fool by not using contact

Not keeping in touch can backfire if you don’t do it for the right reasons with the right attitude. Again, I want you to read this article on how to get your ex girlfriend back to have a bigger picture in your mind.

You don’t make contact to focus on yourself and become a better version of yourself. Missing you from your ex is a great side benefit, but don’t count on it.

Sometimes your ex girlfriend will test you when you start dating. If you are not making contact for the wrong reasons (to make her miss you, to make her feel unhappy, or to make her contact you first); you’ll end up looking like an idiot.

Here’s an example of a shit test some ex-girlfriends do when their ex-boyfriends stop dating.

Example shit test 1

She will call you and tell you something that will give you hope. She might say something like

“I thought of you.”

“I wanted to speak to you.”

“I wanted you to know something”

And sometimes she will even tell you straight away that she still loves you and has feelings for you.

Some guys take this bait and end up declaring their undying love for their ex-girlfriend.

“I love you too. I can’t live without you. Let’s get back together tonight.”

Only to get stabbed in the back by their ex-girlfriends.

“I have feelings for you, but that doesn’t mean we should get back together. It’s over and I want you to accept it. Honestly, I want you to stop hoping that we can ever get back together in the future.”

Cruel, isn’t it?

Trust me, it breaks my heart every time I hear about a poor guy going through that shit that their ex girlfriends did to them.

But that is life. And you have to learn to live with it. And you have to learn to win at it.

So what are you doing in this shittest?

If you’re not making contact for the right reasons, you probably know how to handle this situation yourself. Here’s a response that shows honesty, vulnerability, and confidence.

“I have feelings for you too, but I don’t think we should talk now. I need some time to come to terms with the breakup and do some soul searching. I hope you understand.”

That’s it. After that, stop contacting her and stop replying to her if she contacts you first. I can guarantee that she will respect you more for it and start missing you like crazy.

Tactic #2: While out of touch

If you are out of touch, there are a few things you can do to make your ex girlfriend miss you. As I mentioned earlier, trying to make your ex miss you while out of touch is only optional. You don’t have to do this to get them back permanently.

Simply not being in touch should be enough to make her miss you. After all, it increases your absence to about 90% and even a small stimulus will make them miss you.

Everything you do during the lockdown should aim to reinforce your absence from her life. That means you shouldn’t try to create a stimulus by reminding her of good no-contact times.

The reason is simple, as long as the absence is fairly high, everything acts as a stimulus.

As you both move forward with your life, your ex girlfriend will slowly get used to the idea of ​​not having you in her life. The amount of absence she feels in your life will diminish.

In my experience it takes around 14-21 days for this to happen. So let’s assume that after 21 days from the time you start no contact, your level of absence from her life is about 70%. Here are a few tactics you can use after 21 days to make her miss you.

social media

Social media is a double-edged sword. Using it to miss your ex can be a disaster if you are not ready for it. So if at any point you feel the following tactics are backfiring, stop immediately and go completely contactless.

As I said above, your goal is to create more absences in their lives instead of doing things that remind them of the good times.

At this point, there are a few tactics you can use to increase the absence she feels for you.

Post pictures of you living your life

The fact that you are living life is a strong signal that you are no longer living your life with her.

You can do this by posting pictures of yourself doing things you enjoy. It could be,

Hanging out with friends

Do a sport that you enjoy

Travel

Or just eat at your favorite restaurant

If she sees pictures of you living your life, her subconscious will take it as a sign that you’ve moved on and make her panic.

This will create a strong absence of you in their subconscious. As a percentage I would say it will go from 70% to 90% if you get this right.

Add new friends (especially girls)

Adding new girls as your friends on Facebook is a strong indicator that you are living your life and chances are you are moving on. This creates jealousy as well as absence in their mind for you.

The thought of you moving on to someone else will create a strong absence in their mind for you. Again, this can increase the sense of absence to around 95% if done correctly.

Social media shit test

Sometimes your ex girlfriend will try to call you by going the extra mile to post pictures of her.

It’s very common for girls to post pictures of themselves partying with a caption that says something like

“Single and enjoying life to the fullest”

Or they could post a picture of them hugging another man with the caption

“Had a blast with this guy last night”

If you don’t have the right mindset to get them back, there’s a good chance you’ll panic.

Your mind will go berserk and think you’ve lost her forever. In some cases, it can make you feel almost 99% absent from her. So much so that you can’t stop thinking about her for even a second. This is your opinion in red alert mode.

And there’s a good chance you’ll contact them and ask them to take you back.

At other extremes, some guys respond by trying to compete with her and posting pictures with other girls. This confirms her belief that you are doing things on social media for her to see.

But I want to remind you that this is a shit test. That means she did it to get a reaction from you. To challenge your bluff.

And of course if you’re bluffing, you’re going to panic and do something stupid.

What to do to pass this shit test?

The easiest way to pass this shitty test is to do nothing. If seeing their pictures or their social media status makes you panic, you should block them everywhere or delete your social media profiles.

Remember, your priority is to heal without contact and focus on yourself. If anything interferes with that, you need to cut it off. And that includes social media.

Common friends

If you and your ex-girlfriend have mutual friends, there’s a good chance they’ll pass information about you to her. You can use this to your advantage.

If you really work on yourself and recover from the breakup, it will show. You can just ask your mutual friends to hang out with you, and they’ll notice everything that’s changed about you.

If you’re healthier, you’ll notice. If you’re happier, they’ll notice. If you’re more confident, they’ll notice.

And they will tell all this to your ex-girlfriend.

Joint Friends Shit Test

Often your ex girlfriend will use her friends against you. She could ask her to call you and tell you things about her. stuff like,

“She’s dating another guy. I think you should move on.”

“She is much happier than before. I don’t think she’ll ever come back to you.”

Just the fact that she’s using her friends to tell you that means she’s thinking about you.

How guys fail that shit test?

They panic and try to use logic with their friends. You will try to convince her and say things like:

“Can you try talking to her and tell her I’ve changed?”

“I really love her. You know I love her too much. You know she’ll never find someone like me. Can’t you do something for me?”

By saying something like this, you reassure her girlfriend that you’re still there for your ex. You’re still waiting for her. And you are still present in her life.

And when you’re present in her life, you’re not absent. And when there is no absence, there is no absence.

How can you pass this shit test?

The easiest way to pass this shitty test is to stop acknowledging your girlfriend (or even her) as a reliable source of information about your feelings.

The truth is that most people are not that in touch with their feelings. She may be going through terrible grief, but she pretends to herself that she’s happy. She may have doubts, but she’s trying to be consistent in her decision.

The easiest way to respond is to be honest, be vulnerable, and only talk about yourself. For example,

“Oh ok. The breakup was tough for me and I’m still trying to recover from it. So I’ll appreciate if we don’t talk about my ex.”

Tactics Part 3: After no contact

Once you are done with no contact, you will want to get back into your ex girlfriend’s life. You want her to talk to you regularly.

That means you won’t be completely absent from her life. But you still want her to miss you.

Because the more she thinks about you, the more she will feel attracted and connected to you.

If you’ve been following this article up to now, you know that the emotion of missing is generated by a stimulus and an absence.

Since you will be speaking to her, your away level will go down.

So how do you create the emotion of missing?

By creating a stimulus.

Plant a seed in their mind

When you contact your ex for the first time after no contact, you want to plant a seed in her mind. A notion that things are different now. that you are different now That if she ever gets back together with you, the new relationship has the potential to be amazing.

You want to be as subtle as possible when planting this idea. Do you remember the movie Inception? It’s something like that. Except it’s real life and not directed by Christopher Nolan, so it doesn’t have to be very complicated.

Basically, you don’t even want to talk about getting back together. You just want to give her an indication of how much you’ve grown as an out of touch person.

Planting a seed in their mind will work doubly in your favor. It will create a stimulus in their mind and will also create absence.

The best way to do this is to use the elephant in space text that I talk about in this article about texting your ex. You can also download some examples of elephants in the room texts here.

Sending her this text will work by creating both a stimulus and an absence for you in her mind. Here’s how.

Stimulus: If you successfully plant the idea in her head, she won’t be able to stop thinking about the kind of relationship she always wanted to have with you. The kind of relationship she expected you to have when you both started dating. The thought process will constantly remind her of you. Every time she thinks about her future romantic life, she will picture the life she could have with you. Absence: If you have read my article on getting your ex girlfriend back, I suggest you hold off for a while after sending the first contact message. This is to help that idea grow in her head. At the same time, she will feel absent for you because she will fear that you will move on and have that amazing relationship with someone else.

Needless to say, planting that seed in her mind is the single most important step in bringing her back. If you need help composing this message, check out our coaching packages.

Shit test for planting a seed

If you try to plant a seed in her head, the biggest resistance she will have in her head will be you saying anything to get her back. She will think you are manipulative and just try to get her back with reverse psychology.

If you use the right message, she probably won’t defend herself and might even open up to you about how she’s feeling. I can’t stress the importance of using the right message when you get back in touch.

But if she’s still skeptical, she could give you a shit test to see how you react. For example,

She might tell you she’s glad you’re moving on, and she’s moving on too. That she’s dating someone new and he’s amazing.

Maybe she doesn’t react at all. I think you will keep contacting them if you are still desperate and needy.

She might tell you it’s too late and that she doesn’t want you to contact her again.

How do I pass this shit test?

The key to making an idea grow is LETTING IT GROW. If you try to keep digging to see if the seed you planted is growing, it won’t.

No matter what she does after you send this message, you should back off. No matter what feelings she’s feeling at the moment, they will all subside and the seed you planted will begin to grow. You just have to be patient.

Write her and use past memories.

Talking to your ex about past memories can be a great incentive. It is very useful if you and your ex talk to each other regularly.

I have some examples of past reminder texts in this article about texting your ex. How to create a charm and absence so you can use these texts to make her miss you.

Stimulus:

Ideally, use these texts once you and your ex have started talking to each other. Maybe a week or two after you sent the elephant-in-the-room text. But since you started talking to her, you will not be able to create a strong absence in her life. Because of this, you need to create a strong incentive to make her miss you.

The best way to create a powerful stimulus is to be as descriptive as possible. Make your text a story. Paint a picture in their mind with words. Write her a script so she can see the movie in her head.

If she can clearly imagine what you wrote, she will have almost the same feelings as she felt at that moment. And when she feels the same positive emotion, she will want what she had then. And that’s you. You beside her as her lover.

Here is an example of non-descriptive text versus descriptive text.

Non-descriptive text

Do you remember the time we went hiking? That was fun. I’m right?

descriptive text

I thought about the time we went hiking. You woke me up at 5am and it was like we both went on an epic adventure together. There were obstacles in the way like when we just dodged that brown bear and you almost fell down that ditch. I remember my heart skipping a beat for a second thinking I’d lost you. And then when we got to the top we had a little picnic and ate these amazing sandwiches. Damn, those were the best sandwiches ever. I can taste the pickles just thinking about them. And the best? It just sat with you on the edge of the cliff and your head rested on my shoulder. I think it was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.

Of course, this does not necessarily have to be said in the text. You can even say that over the phone to make it more intimate.

If you want to say that in one text, it’s better if you don’t say everything at once. It is better if you send each sentence as a new text. If she’s online at the same time, she’ll await your next text while continuing the story.

SMS services like iMessage and Whatsapp show someone when the other person is typing. If she sees you typing, she’ll let you continue the story you’re playing out in her head. And she will enjoy every bit of it.

Absence:

One of the ways to create absence in her mind is to give her a little space after you’ve had a good conversation with her. Wenn du ihr einen Samen in den Kopf gesetzt hast und nicht immer unbedingt mit ihr sprechen willst, wird sie dich irgendwann vermissen und mit dir sprechen wollen.

Aber Sie können in ihrem Kopf auch Abwesenheit erzeugen, indem Sie die Angst, etwas zu verpassen, erzeugen. Das kannst du tun, indem du ihr von etwas erzählst, das du in deinem Leben tust, und es mit einer großartigen Erinnerung in Verbindung bringst, die ihr beide zusammen hattet.

Here is an example,

„Hey, ich war gerade wieder mit einem Freund in diesem kleinen armenischen Café. Es erinnerte mich an unser zweites Date und dieses wunderschöne rote Kleid, das du getragen hast. Du sahst heiß aus.“

Sehen Sie, wie Sie nicht sehr beschreibend sind, aber Sie bringen sie immer noch dazu, ihre Vorstellungskraft zu nutzen. Sie wird anfangen, darüber nachzudenken, wie sie dieses rote Kleid trägt und wie sie sich dabei gefühlt hat. Du wirst sie dazu bringen, darüber nachzudenken, wie du sie bei ihrem zweiten Date angesehen hast. Du wirst sie dazu bringen, sich an die Schmetterlinge zu erinnern, die sie bei diesem zweiten Date in ihrem Bauch gespürt hat. All dies wird einen starken Stimulus in ihrem Geist erzeugen.

Und um das Ganze abzurunden, wird die Tatsache, dass du alleine an diesen Ort gehst, ihr Angst machen, etwas zu verpassen. Die Tatsache, dass du mit jemand anderem dorthin gehst, wird sie eifersüchtig machen. Diese beiden Gedanken erzeugen eine starke Abwesenheit in ihrem Kopf, selbst wenn Sie regelmäßig mit ihr sprechen.

Shit-Test bei der Verwendung von Texten

Eine der häufigsten Methoden, die Shittest-Girls verwenden, ist, einfach nicht auf deine Nachricht zu antworten. Manchmal sehen sie Ihre Nachricht und antworten stundenlang nicht. Manchmal entscheiden sie sich, Ihre Nachricht stundenlang nicht zu sehen, selbst wenn Sie sie online sehen können.

Wie bestehe ich diesen Shittest?

Die Wahrheit ist, dass die SMS-Kultur im Laufe der Jahre wirklich manipulativ geworden ist. Ich empfehle Ihnen, nicht in diese Manipulation hineinzuspielen. Wenn Sie das tun, besteht eine gute Chance, dass Sie Ihre neue Beziehung auf der Grundlage eines Machtkampfes aufbauen.

Wenn Sie es ernst meinen, eine lang anhaltende und gesunde Beziehung zu diesem Mädchen aufzubauen, sollten Sie sicherstellen, dass Sie in allem ehrlich und wahrhaftig sind.

Wenn du merkst, dass sie zu lange braucht, um zu antworten, versuche nicht, sie aufzumuntern, indem du noch länger brauchst, um zu antworten. Antworten Sie stattdessen einfach, wenn Sie ihre Nachricht sehen.

Wenn sie weiterhin versucht, dich zu meiden, höre für eine Weile auf, sie zu kontaktieren. Gib ihr etwas Raum und lass die Idee, die du in ihren Kopf gepflanzt hast, ein bisschen mehr wachsen.

Sometimes we include products that we think will be useful to our readers. If you make a purchase through links on this site, we may receive a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

Regret after a breakup can eat away at you.

It’s actually pretty normal to wonder if it was for the best or if you made a big mistake. But does your ex regret leaving you?

When dealing with the pain of a breakup, you want to know what’s on your ex’s mind.

If you’re wondering if your ex regrets breaking up, then you’ve come to the right place.

Here are 25 clear signs your ex regrets losing you and wants you back.

1) They talk about how great things were when you first met

Reminiscing about the good old days of your relationship is a strong sign that your ex regrets it.

They may talk about the times you spent together as a couple and the feelings you once had.

It could mean that they miss out on their life with you. Nostalgia suggests that they now look back on their time together with rose-colored glasses.

They may also try to get you to remember the good times in hopes that you’ll want to take them back.

2) They try to find excuses to see you and hang out again

No matter how casual they try to make it sound, wanting to hang out with them shows they are thinking of you.

Maybe they’re trying to find innocent reasons for the two of you to get together. But it’s likely that your ex wants to see you again because he still has feelings for you.

They may feel conflicted about leaving you. If it’s been long enough since they’ve missed you, then asking to see you obviously means they want to spend more time with you.

3) Would you like advice specific to your situation?

While this article explores the top signs that the dumper wants you back and regrets what they did, it can be helpful to talk to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and experiences…

Relationship Hero is a website where highly qualified relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations such as: B. reconciliation with an ex. They are a very popular resource for people facing this type of challenge.

how should i know

Well, I reached out to her a few months ago when I was going through a rough patch in my own relationship. After being lost in thought for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it going again.

I was blown away by how nice, empathetic and really helpful my coach was.

In just minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get advice tailored to your situation.

Click here to start.

4) They’re still looking at your social media stories

When your ex regrets losing you, they want to know what you’re up to. Social media stalking is the ideal way to do this.

They’re still curious about what’s going on in your life, so clearly they still care. If they were serious about a clean break, they’d avoid you on social media (at least for a while).

They’ll see that they’ve checked out your stories on social media, but they don’t care. They don’t try to keep their distance or act aloof.

They are more interested in keeping track of you.

5) They still text you random things

Whether it’s a funny meme they’ve seen, a random thing that happened in their day, or something seemingly unimportant, they’ll message you just to say hello and reach out.

The reason is that they want to keep in touch with you.

It shows that you were an important person in their life and they find it difficult to break ties, which can also mean they regret ending things.

6) You seem quite depressed

When you realize that you’re really gone, maybe that’s when your ex starts to really feel the sadness of the breakup.

This is a signal that they are beginning to realize what they lost by breaking up with you.

How do you know if your ex is unhappy?

He or she may seem to be depressed, withdrawn, or maybe they seem quite lonely. This can especially happen if you’ve both been close and they have no one to turn to.

Look for signs that your ex is unhappy without letting you know they regret it.

7) They try very hard to remain friends

Some couples manage to salvage a friendship after breaking up. But it can be incredibly challenging and usually only works in certain circumstances.

You both need to 100% get over any romantic feelings you’ve ever had before you start a friendship. And it’s pretty rare to drop loving feelings overnight.

Because of this, a strong urge to be friends after a breakup usually signals that one or both of you just aren’t ready to give up on the relationship just yet.

8) They’re showing romantic interest in you again

In the early days of dating, you probably felt those butterflies in your stomach when you were together. Well, so did they.

That romantic spark you feel during your honeymoon is hard to beat. It casts a warm glow and fluffy feelings about everything you do together.

It’s hard to describe, but you know it when you feel it. How can you make your ex regret leaving you?

In this situation, there’s only one thing to do—rekindle her romantic interest in you.

I learned about this from Brad Browning who has helped thousands of men and women get their exes back. He’s nicknamed “the relationship freak” for a reason.

In this free video, he shows you exactly what you can do to make your ex want you back.

No matter what your situation, he will give you a number of useful tips that you can apply immediately.

Here is a link to his free video again. If you really want your ex back, this video will help you.

9) They say they want to talk

If your ex contacts you and asks if you can talk, then you clearly have work to do.

Being willing to talk about things shows that your relationship is still salvageable. Maybe they had time to think and realized they gave up on you too soon.

It’s important to keep the lines of dialogue open. There’s still something to talk about, so maybe it’s not over in their eyes.

You may regret the breakup and wonder if you can find a solution to what went wrong between the two of you.

10) They show signs of jealousy

Jealousy is a sign that your ex is still attracted to you and feels possessive.

If your ex is showing signs of jealousy, then it’s clear he still has feelings for you and he or she may want to get back together.

Your ex is probably feeling insecure and worried that you’ve found someone new.

It’s natural to still feel a bond with someone you’ve broken up with, even after you’ve broken up with them. But acting jealous suggests that those emotions run much deeper than that.

Nothing makes an ex regret the breakup like losing you to someone else.

11) They’re sending you mixed signals

Mixed signals are confusing as hell, but it probably means your ex isn’t sure how to act around you, or is confused about their feelings, too.

They might appear hot one day and cold another. They might text you a lot one day and then disappear for the rest of the week.

Maybe they don’t know whether to be friendly with you or keep their distance. They may try to behave in a certain way, but their emotions keep overwhelming them. Or maybe they’re still trying to figure out if they made a mistake by ending things entirely.

12) They ask other people about you

If you’re out of touch right now, you might have heard they’ve been asking about you.

This could mean that they are curious about what’s going on in your life, how you’re feeling, and how you’ve been doing since the breakup.

It could also mean they’re interested in getting details on who else you might have noticed and if you’ve moved on.

Either way, it’s a good thing! It means they still care enough about you and might regret it.

13) They call you late at night

Calling you at odd hours is a big sign that they’re regretting their decision to break up.

If they call you late at night, they’re probably thinking about you and regretting the breakup. It’s also the classic booty call time of the day.

No one calls innocently after 11pm at night.

They’re alone late at night, they’re thinking about the good times, they miss talking to you… and probably other things too (wink, wink).

14) They tell you they still love you

At first you would assume that saying you still love someone must mean you want them back.

However, this does not always mean. After all, we can still love someone but still not want a relationship with them.

But if your ex admits to you that he still has strong feelings for you, it’s much more likely that he regrets leaving you and wants to make up.

15) They say they miss you

When your ex says he misses you, that’s a pretty easy sign.

Even if they don’t admit it, they might pretend they miss the old days. You may be wondering why things didn’t work out between the two of you.

You may wish they had given him another chance instead of calling it quits.

Either way, it can be a way of letting them know they miss you to test the waters. They’re probably checking if you miss them too, hoping you’ll get back together.

16) They are physically affectionate with you

To be clear, friends don’t usually cuddle, hold hands, or show other signs of physical affection like this. And certainly not friends who are also exes.

If your ex is still very touchy with you, then it indicates that there is still something romantic left between you.

Notice that they lean toward you, reach forward to make gentle contact with you (like touching your arm), or remove physical barriers that get in the way (like pillows on the couch when you’re sitting together).

If your ex still wants to give you a hug or even a cuddle, it’s a sign that they’re still in the relationship and probably regret the breakup.

17) You are flirtatious

That is a big problem. Flirting is an important part of what makes friendship romantic.

Flirting is a way of showing someone that we are sexually attracted to them.

They may tease you or act playful and small jokes around you. They might compliment you. Or maybe, as I mentioned above, they’re still very touchy about you.

Flirting with you means your ex is still trying to create or maintain that chemistry between you.

So if your ex is suddenly flirting with you, it is definitely a sign that he might get back together.

18) They are always there to help if you need them

Typically, when you break up with someone, you are no longer available to them in the same way. You cannot be as you have to get on with your life.

Even if you still talk to each other every now and then, you’re not helping out like you used to.

So if your ex is still there for you whenever you need something, it doesn’t sound like he’s moved on.

19) They apologize

After your breakup, your ex may have tried to explain themselves.

They can apologize for how things happened or apologize for hurting you. They may say things like how much they care about you and how they wish things had been different.

Regret is a good indicator of regret. It shows that they have thought.

So when your ex-partner apologizes to you, it is a strong indication that they still have feelings for you and want to work things out.

20) They stare at you lovingly

Our eyes reveal a lot, even when we hide our feelings.

I once knew an ex regretted breaking up with me just by the way he looked at me. We got back together shortly after he told me he still had feelings for me.

Although it’s hard to explain, when we look at someone, we have romantic feelings because our eyes shine.

It’s like there’s a sparkle in them that you can’t hide.

If you notice that dog eyes and loving looks are still coming your way, then you probably feel remorse.

21) They make a point of letting you know that no one else is around

Technically, once you break up, your current dating status is really none of your business.

So if your ex makes it a point to tell you that he is not dating anyone else right now, he obviously wants you to know.

It’s a way of telling you they haven’t moved on yet.

22) They are trying to impress you

Showing off is always a way to get someone’s attention.

When they start doing things to try to impress you—whether it’s dressing to impress, bragging about certain things in their life, or showing off—it’s to your advantage.

We don’t feel the need to impress people we no longer care about. So assume that they still harbor feelings.

23) They call or text when drunk

When we’ve had a drink, our inhibitions relax.

Sometimes true feelings come out. If your ex has been trying to stay away from you, he may start blowing up your phone and reaching out when he’s had one too many.

They reveal to you that no matter how much they protest soberly, they are clearly thinking of you.

24) They’re trying to show you that they’ve changed

She may have decided to go back to school, change jobs, or tell you that she is working on herself.

Whatever they do, they make sure you know they’ve made some changes.

This could be because they want to prove to you that they’ve grown as a person or that they’re better than before.

Either way, they show you that they’ve learned something new about themselves. This could be a sign of their regret and they are trying to make you realize that they have changed.

25) They call you out of the blue

When an ex goes missing from the field for some time only to reappear on the radar — then something gives way.

How long does it take for an ex to regret a breakup?

For some people, it can take a while for the loss to really sink in. This may be the case when they finally come to their senses.

I once had an ex who broke up with me only a few months later (after no contact) so he would call me crying and tell me he misses me and wants me back.

Phone calls out of the blue are a big sign that an ex is regretting the decisions they’ve made.

How to make your ex regret leaving you

Let’s face it, most of us want our ex to feel remorse, remorse, and the pain we feel once we’ve been dumped.

We can be plagued with thoughts like, “Will my ex regret leaving me?”

Because deep down we want them to regret it, whether it’s because we want them back or simply because the rejection we’re feeling hurts us.

How do you make your ex regret breaking up with you?

Here are 3 simple but effective tips…

1) Show them what’s missing

As hard as it is, the best revenge is often to move on and live the good life.

That doesn’t mean that you won’t be sad and still mourn the breakup. But it’s also important to take good care of yourself, do fun things to cheer yourself up, and spend quality time with friends and family.

Try to go outside and distract yourself. Gather your friends and spend a night out.

The more your ex thinks you’re out there living your best life, the more he’s likely to regret losing you.

2) Make yourself unavailable

The reason many experts recommend the no contact rule after a breakup is because not only is it the best way for you to heal, but it also gives you and your ex time and space to think.

This can be the case when your ex finally realizes the reality of the breakup and really misses you.

The less available you seem to them now, the more likely they will regret losing you.

3) Renew their interest

I mentioned Brad Browning earlier – he’s an expert on relationships and reconciliation. He says the best way to get an ex’s attention back is to do the things that reignite those passions.

After all, they fell for you once. So you want them to feel those same initial sparks to make them fall in love with you all over again.

But instead of leaving it to fate, why not take matters into your own hands and find a way to get through to your ex?

If you really want to get your ex back, you need a little help (and the best person to turn to is Brad Browning).

No matter how ugly the breakup was, no matter how hurtful the arguments were, he’s developed a few unique techniques to not only get your ex back, but to keep him forever.

So if you’re tired of missing your ex and want to start fresh with them, I highly recommend checking out his incredible advice.

Here is the link to his free video again.

In the video above, relationship expert Coach Lee discusses a common concern among his coaching clients.

Be sure to watch this important video in full before or after reading this article.

Get Your Ex Back With Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit!

Their concern is whether their ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend will move on if they use the no contact rule after a breakup.

If you don’t have headphones right now or don’t have the privacy to listen to a video, the following article accompanies the video above, and Coach Lee recommends that you both watch the video and read his article on the subject.

Your understanding is the key to getting your ex back.

Will your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend move on if you don’t use contact?

The worst has happened.

Your boyfriend or girlfriend has told you that they are breaking up and no longer want to be in a relationship with you.

What now?

Chances are you found this website by looking for information on how to get your ex back or by watching one of my videos on YouTube.

You’ve gone to war to get your ex back and you’ve probably read or heard how I recommend the no contact rule.

However, the concept of staying away from your ex may have struck you as something that could repel your ex or even push them to move on by seeking a relationship with someone else.

If that’s your concern, then you’ve come to the right place!

Get Your Ex Back With Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit!

Here’s the deal:

While enforcing the no contact rule would have pushed your ex away while the two of you were together, it very, very often has the opposite effect after a breakup.

There’s a reason for that.

While the two of you were together and happy, you found yourself in a position known in the world of relationship studies as interdependence.

You may even have found yourself codependent, which is similar but not the healthiest condition for your relationship.

However, many relationship educators exaggerate codependency as the boogeyman of relationships.

It is not.

Sure, being codependent isn’t ideal, but many couples go through it to some degree while in the early honeymoon phase of a relationship (known as limerence) and become just fine or even great.

So I skip the lecture.

While you are interdependent (or co-dependent), you are both in the same place by desire and choice.

See the diagram below:

The opposite of interdependence is independence.

The polar tails of the diagram above would show independence.

So after a split the diagram would look like this:

Get Your Ex Back With Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit!

The chart above is actually what a boyfriend is trying to do when he breaks up with his girlfriend.

He has moved into self-employment.

If she then also moves into her own independence, the separation has actually happened, with consequences for everyone.

But if, instead of moving towards independence, they remain interdependent, the diagram would look something like this:

At this point, she interferes and fights against his decision.

Their state of mind often becomes, or at least appears to be, obsessive and emotionally weak.

While fighting and chasing might seem like the right thing to do, it’s mostly futile and only pushes him further away.

Obviously, the gender of the individual is not important to this concept, it is only used in this example.

The reason stalking someone after a breakup doesn’t work is because of the dumper’s state of mind and emotions.

Your ex doesn’t want what you want or he/she wouldn’t have broken up with you.

Unless there was an extremely bad act on your part such as cheating or violence, your ex did not make their decision overnight and as such it is highly unlikely that they will be won back overnight.

It could have started out logically, as in the case of the challenges of a long-distance relationship, and then turned into a sense of emotional detachment.

It could have been other reasons that turned into emotional detachment or, more specifically, a drop in emotional attraction.

Whatever the reason, the reason for the breakup is their emotional attraction to you and it’s not something that can be resolved by talking to your ex, telling them how you feel, or begging.

In fact, these things only make them feel trapped because they are seeking independence, but the pursuer denies that.

People who feel trapped want to escape.

Why talking doesn’t work

With your back against the wall, they stare at you as a different person than you used to know.

You can’t look them in the eye and find the person who was dependent or co-dependent on you.

You forgot it emotionally.

As you can see from the chart above, the only way back to being interdependent is for your ex to move towards it and towards you.

Your movement toward your ex through pursuit in some form may temporarily feel good, but it will be an illusion. (Also see my article: Does Your Ex Want You To Chase Him?)

You can’t feel it for her.

Moving toward them, as illustrated in our diagram above, may feel like the two of you are once again in the same place, but it’s artificial and off-putting.

No contact sends a clear message to your ex that you are going back to independence.

When your ex first became attracted to you, you were independent of him/her. So don’t be afraid of this position.

At this point, it’s your strongest and most attractive strategy.

Why is independence and no contact attractive (and effective)?

Right now you feel the loss of separation.

I don’t have to tell you it’s an emotionally distressing experience.

The reason I strongly advise you not to contact your ex is that he or she needs to feel motivated.

Your ex must really want you back, and for that to happen, something must be missing.

Your ex needs to feel the loss you are feeling.

You feel lost because your ex has taken away from you. you lost her

And look how motivated you are.

Your ex must be motivated to get you back. He or she must fear losing you to have a desire to reclaim what he or she had.

Your ex must be missing you and that can take time.

Especially when you consider the stages a non-contact ex goes through.

People often ask me what their ex thinks when they aren’t dating and although I suggest you avoid analyzing or overthinking it too much, I can tell you that if you don’t follow them and don’t contact, you can actually really feel the breakup and realize they don’t want it.

Instead of helping your ex move on, no contact will slow that down or potentially reverse it.

Pursuing and reaching out to your ex will actually make them move on — and they will run away.

Staying out of touch won’t be easy.

But if you really love that person, you are willing to do something difficult to get them back. Right?

Do it. trust.

Learn more about my Emergency Breakup Kit.

– Coach Lee

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One of the hardest parts of dealing with the ex-boyfriend recovery process is dealing with an ex who is distant. It’s hurtful – one day you two share everything and he’s your best friend, and the next it’s like he’s a total stranger.

There are a number of reasons why your ex-boyfriend may be acting distant and we’ll explore them in a moment, but first I wanted to remind you that distance is a good thing immediately after a breakup. You both need it to reflect and try to process the new changes in your life now that you are single again.

And when you know you want your ex-boyfriend back, distance is absolutely necessary to set the stage back for the rest of the process of getting him back. No contact lays the foundation for you to build on throughout the time you are building a relationship and trying to win your ex back as your friend.

While it’s hurtful to see your ex keep their distance, there are benefits too.

Reason 1: He’s keeping his distance so he can get used to a new pattern of not being with you

People are habit forming. So when someone disappears from your life, it packs a big punch and (as mentioned earlier on this page) is similar to the feelings of an addict going through withdrawal. This is one of the things that makes No Contact so effective.

Men tend to process things logically rather than emotionally. They tend to experience traumatic events by looking at things through a logical lens and trying to suppress emotional responses.

After we broke up, my ex immediately started hanging out with his friends. He was so busy that he didn’t have time to think about our breakup or be emotional about it. He did something a lot of guys do after a breakup and that was to distance himself from me emotionally so he could get used to a new pattern of not being with me. I was a part of his life every day for a long time, and suddenly he changed the terms of our relationship and had to face the repercussions.

Guys also hurt after breakups, albeit in different ways, and they’re not always as open about it. In fact, they rarely do.

Some signs of this could be the reason for his distance: when it’s pretty close to the time you broke up, when he seems to be having problems, or when he’s nice when you interact but tries to keep that to a minimum to restrict.

If that distance occurs immediately or within a month or so of the breakup, that’s normal and you should emulate his actions yourself because you need some distance too. Do not embrace any contact. Throw yourself into activities to keep you focused. Take the time to regain some self-esteem that was lost in the course of your lovesickness.

Early distance is good. I know it hurts to see your ex pull away from you when you’ve been so close before, but trust me he needs that distance to see the value you brought to his life and you need the distance to see your worth again.

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Reason 2: He cares and he doesn’t want to be taken care of

It’s very unlikely that your ex’s feelings for you will go away overnight and he just won’t care about you anymore. It’s more likely that he still cares about you on some level.

But maybe there are reasons why the two of you have broken up in his mind (validly or not) and he is stubborn and sticking to his decision. He might be distant because it hurts not to be distant.

Think Buffy and Angel in Season 3 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Their relationship in Season 2 didn’t exactly work out for the best. They try to maintain a friendship, but both still care deeply for each other. After some time in this gray area and back and forth in Lover’s Walk, Buffy sets some boundaries and they have this exchange:

Angel: Hey. I was wondering when you’re coming.

Buffy: I’m not coming back. We are not friends. We never were. And I can fool Giles, and I can fool my friends, but I can’t fool myself. Or Spike, for whatever reason. I can never have what I want from you. You don’t need me to take care of you anymore. So I’ll go

Angel: I don’t accept that.

Buffy: You have to.

Angel: How can… There has to be a way we can still see each other.

Buffy: There’s tell me you don’t love me.

(He is silent and looks at her in pain. She walks away).

Ouch. But do you know what I mean? There are very important reasons why they can’t be together (I could go on but I won’t because – spoilers). They love each other very much, but fundamentally they are too different and ultimately their lives don’t fit together.

The same could be true for your ex (although I’m sure it’s not that life and death/end of the world issue). It may very well be that he still cares about you, but can’t reconcile the idea of ​​trying again with the logical decision he’s already made, so he backs off instead.

This could happen immediately after the breakup, but it could also happen when you’re texting, dating, and building a general relationship.

As I mentioned earlier, men are logical, and when he feels like he cares about you again, or maybe part of him is wondering if he made a mistake, he might be trying to shut off his feelings. And an easy way to do that is to keep your distance.

This is fairly typical of rubberbanding (a theory that you should definitely google once you’re done with this article). When men feel like they’re becoming emotional or clingy, it scares them, and that’s why they withdraw out of fear.

give him the space Don’t drive yourself crazy by texting him and asking him why he’s ignoring you. Give him the time and space to process his emotions.

He will be back. They always fight back.

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Reason 3: Trying to protect your feelings

Your ex knows he hurt you when he broke up with you. It’s likely that he has, and will continue to experience, a lot of guilt as a result.

There are always power dynamics involved in relationships, and this is true even after a breakup. When your ex ended things with you, he took over. Good guys are aware of this shift in the power dynamic and will try to give you both space – so you can both heal.

In the Facebook support group, I see many situations where men break up with their girlfriends and then try to start a friend-to-friends situation with social benefits. This always makes me angry, and my advice is usually to let this guy go.

These men do not understand the changing dynamics of power. Or worse, they don’t care.

If your ex is distant and you sense (or he may have even told you) that it was for your emotional protection, he’s a good, sensitive guy who understands that he hurt you and is keeping his distance for you.

Reason 4: He’s dating someone else

Ah yes, the dreaded “other woman” scenario.

Yes. It could be that your ex has switched to someone new and is therefore keeping his distance.

It could be something he chooses out of respect for his new relationship, or maybe even respect for yourself (if he’s a good guy and doesn’t want to hurt you. See the point above).

Or it could be that this distance is something his new girlfriend asked of him. That means she’s threatened.

As I recommend in any other woman situation, use the Being There method. If possible, stay in his life and try to stay in a position where you’re still a confidant — someone he’s comfortable around when he’s vulnerable.

This isn’t the ideal situation, but assuming it hasn’t been a long time since the breakup, take comfort in the fact that your ex is very likely in a rebound relationship.

Reason 5: He’s nervous about how your interactions might go

Maybe your breakup was messy. Most breakups are messy, but yours may have involved lots of screaming, fighting, and tears. Cruel things may have been said.

If that’s the case, it could very well be the reason for your ex’s distance. He may want to keep in touch with you (whether that’s to get back together or form a friendship), but he may be nervous about how your interactions will go. He might be nervous that if he starts talking to you, you want to rehash the relationship, emotionally blow up, or make him feel guilty.

If this is the case, you have some serious damage control to do. When you interact with him, make those interactions as easy and fun as possible. Under no circumstances bring up the relationship or other emotionally charged topics.

This will be a slow process, but if you can control your emotions and be patient, it will prove to him that you are safe to talk to and that distance will decrease.

Reason 6: It has nothing to do with you

I know this is hard to believe, but it’s very possible that the reason your ex is being distant in your communication has absolutely nothing to do with you.

This is something I always have to remind myself of as I re-enter the dating scene and also when speaking to new guys.

Reasons why your ex (or anyone else really) may respond to notes or come across as distant include: They’re busy, they’re distracted, they’re hungry, they’re upset about something unrelated to you, or they i’m having a bad day And I’m sure I could think of a thousand other reasons.

People are busy. They have lives outside of their relationships with us. I myself am guilty of speculating as to why people are short on me, and I’m usually way off base.

If you and your ex are developing a relationship and things have been going well, take a deep breath and calm down. It’s likely he has other things on his mind. Or he could possibly do a rubber band, but even if that’s the case, don’t worry because he’ll definitely be back.

What are your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back? take the quiz

What are your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back? take the quiz

Keep the focus on you

If your ex is distant, the first step is to give them space. Constantly calling and texting him will only drive him further away. Embrace your alone time by focusing on self-improvement.

There could be a number of reasons why your ex is distant, and I’m sure I haven’t even come close to covering them all here. But the main thing to remember is that you cannot control your ex. You can only control yourself and how you react to situations.

Keep your cool as you try to manage this stressful area with your ex. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Consider a push/pull theory. If your ex is distant and withdrawn, do the same. I know our impulse is to push instead, but because men are logical, they also process things differently, and that often means they process things on their own.

Remember, distance doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It can absolutely be good if you stay calm and use it to your advantage.

(Written by Rachel)

When a relationship ends, you can go through a lot of pain. A breakup can produce a mix of emotions such as anger, sadness, feelings of betrayal, and confusion. While it’s hard to forget the past and move on, what if you start noticing signs that your ex wants you back? How Can You Know If Your Ex Misses You? They can text you, ask for help, or try to keep in touch. But how can you know for sure if they want you back in their life? These 20 signs can help you understand if your ex really wants you to come back. Just look.

20 signs your ex wants you back

1. They try to keep in touch

If your ex is still texting you or calling you to see how you are, it could be a sign that he misses you. While it’s always a good idea to have your own space right after a breakup, your ex’s constant attempts to keep in touch with you shows that he cares and hasn’t moved on.

If they continue to reach out to you to have a proper conversation about what’s going on in your life and are genuinely interested in what you have to say, that’s a sign your ex wants you back.

2. They keep you informed

Did your ex text you that he has a new pet? Or calling to discuss seeing the movie you always recommended? Do they continue to share personal details and open up about their lives? If so, chances are they are trying to reconnect with you romantically. This means that they have not moved on and are thinking of you and want you in their life.

3. You get jealous

If your ex wants to stay friends with you, he wouldn’t be affected if he sees that you’ve moved on and are dating someone else. Instead, they will support you and maybe wish you well in the future. But if they are jealous or jealous, chances are she still has feelings for you and maybe even hopes to get back together.

If your ex bombards their social media with their busy life or nights out and pretends to be happy without you, they may be trying to make you jealous. This is one of the main signs that your ex wants to get back together.

4. They pretend they need your help

Just asking an ex for help shouldn’t be taken as a sign that he wants to be with you again after a breakup. However, if your ex seems to make excuses to see you and pretends to ask for help about silly things, confront him and ask him what he wants – he might say he misses you badly and wants you back.

5. You keep bringing your memories up together

If they find every possible opportunity to talk about the happy memories they created together in the past, it could be a sign that your ex wants you back and is giving clues. For example, if they text you, especially late at night, reminiscing about the good times together, that’s a sign they’re definitely thinking of you. They have not moved on emotionally and have become nostalgic.

Apart from that, they would also like to share things with you. Whether you need a spare phone, a book, or your car for an emergency trip, they’re here to help. This way you could feel like a couple again.

However, it’s entirely up to you how close you want to get to them. So think about how talking about your memories makes you feel as you decide how to navigate this new dynamic.

6. They tell you how far they’ve come

There’s nothing wrong with an ex confessing how far they’ve come in life and as a person. However, if they do this by dropping subtle cues, they may be trying to tell you that they have matured, evolved into a better person, and are doing well in all aspects as well. This could indicate their desire to let you know how they would prove to be a stronger and healthier partner if the relationship were revived.

7. You keep asking mutual friends about your well-being

If your ex is still interested in how you are doing and is constantly checking in with your mutual friends for updates, consider this another important sign that he may be looking to make up. This is especially true if the two of you have been together for a long time and share a common inner circle of people.

While these close bonds may last for some time, anyone who’s moved on may not want to revisit them. If your ex still keeps in touch with your closest circle of friends, it means they are having a hard time letting go. Even if they don’t explicitly mention your name, they secretly hope to learn more about your whereabouts.

Regardless of what the conversation is like, if they are persistent in keeping in touch with loved ones, it is a sign that they want to rekindle the romance.

8. They acknowledge their role in the breakup

If your ex admits his mistake and what he did wrong, it could be because he’s not over the relationship and doesn’t want things to end. It could also mean that they are still looking forward to a future where the two of you can get back together.

9. They still have their things with you

If they ended the relationship, they would have come to get the things they left with you. However, if they haven’t, this could be an excuse to keep in touch with you and not end the relationship entirely.

10. They find random excuses to contact you

When your ex wants to talk to you and makes up random excuses to contact you, it clearly shows his intention to get back to you. You might get weird text messages from them asking you for the names of random places you’ve been to together, or for grocery shopping tips and so on.

The way you react to these messages can tell you how you feel about your ex. You might be happy to receive these messages, or you might be annoyed. So it’s always good to decide how you feel about her after your relationship ends.

11. You show too much interest in your love life

Generally, when ex-boyfriends meet, they spend most of their time catching up on important life events or reminiscing about the time they spent together rather than discussing new love interests. But if they’re showing a little too much interest in your love life or in the new person in your life, it could be because they want to find out how you feel about your new love interest. It could also mean that they are trying to find out if they still have a chance to get in touch with you.

One of the most important signs that your ex wants you back is that he is denouncing the fact that he is single. They never forget to explicitly mention their relationship status during your conversations and texts to show they are available.

12. They are drunk and call you

Alcohol is believed to make you more honest about your feelings and words. So if your ex texts you and calls you when he’s drunk, he probably wants to get back to you. If this happens frequently, you can be sure that they want you back but can’t tell you when they’re sober.

If you get drunk texts from your ex with all sorts of love messages, he secretly misses you and chances are he wants you back but isn’t ready to admit it.

13. They still compliment you

Falling in love with an ex again makes a person develop a soft corner for them. You may often see your ex complimenting you on subtle things. It could be anything from your clothing style, subtle changes in your hairstyle, or unique details about your personality. If they notice such things and compliment them, it means they pay attention to you and still care about you.

14. You haven’t dated anyone since you broke up

A breakup can be tough, and everyone needs a breather after going through this rough patch. While it’s quite difficult to move on immediately with a new partner, avoiding dating entirely is also a sign of trouble.

If it’s been a long time since you broke up and your ex has avoided dating anyone since then, that’s a sign he still misses you. This generally happens when they have experienced what they believe to be the ideal relationship with you and it becomes difficult for them to open up to starting over. It could also mean that your ex is hoping to rekindle your relationship.

15. You apologize too much

Some people don’t take responsibility for their actions, especially after a breakup. They either don’t care about you or blame you for everything that went wrong in the relationship. But if your partner apologizes and feels guilty about their actions, they probably want to get back together at all costs.

16. You are not happy after the breakup

If your ex is struggling to get back to normal even after a long time, chances are he’s still thinking about you and denying that you broke up. Some of the signs that they aren’t happy could be somber social media posts, mutual friends approaching you and asking you to talk to them, or their loved ones calling you saying how much you are Missing your ex.

If their family or close friends come up to you to tell you how miserable they are without you, chances are your ex will reach out to you if you give them a chance.

17. You come across them frequently

The chances of you meeting your ex are reduced unless you are in the same college, workplace or location. But if your ex is still holding on to you, chances are he’s asking your friends about the places you go or the events you attend.

If you find yourself seeing your ex often, understand that it’s probably planned and they might be looking for a way to reconcile. While it’s not a bad thing to have similar feelings, trying to move away from them could get complex.

18. You work on yourself a little too much

If they suddenly become relentless in working on themselves, it’s a sign that your ex wants to get back together and is focused on becoming a better person. It also means that they have recognized their mistakes, regret them, and want to make sure not to repeat them.

If there were some troubles or mistakes that they never apologized to you for, now your ex can. They will try to address any of your concerns and resolve any of your complaints or queries that you had earlier when you were together.

19. They suddenly bring up a future with you in every conversation

This is probably one of the biggest signs that your ex wants to get back together with you. If they keep talking to you about their future, it means they’re still in the mood and want to get back together.

20. They’re all over your social media

They may have broken up on good terms and continue to follow each other on social media. However, if you notice them all over your social media accounts, chances are they want you back.

Unlike the times when you were with your ex, when you get too many likes, comments on each of your posts, see them checking all your Instagram stories, or see your ex constantly appearing in your notifications, it clearly means they are trying to connect and want to get in touch with you.

While rekindling a romantic relationship is never easy, there’s nothing wrong with giving your ex another chance if they’re making a genuine attempt and you still care about them. The signs that your ex wants you back can be as subtle as checking on your wellbeing with mutual friends, trying to keep in touch without crossing borders, asking for your help, and on your social media to be. But first, think about how the relationship ended. It will help you determine if they are just trying to contact you to ease their sudden loneliness or if their efforts are genuine. The important thing is that you don’t subject yourself to the same trauma again.

frequently asked Questions

What brings an ex back?

Your ex probably wants to get back because they’re feeling lonely, jealous of your new relationship, romanticizing the past, or realizing they made a mistake in ending things with you.

What to say to make your ex want you back

Here are a few things you can say to make your ex want you back:

• I think about you all the time.

• I want to apologize for my mistakes.

• I should have fought harder and never given up for us.

However, remember that you can hurt them and interrupt their healing process by trying to get back to them.

KEY FINDINGS While breaking up can be difficult, especially after spending so much time together, it’s understandable that your ex might want to get back together at some point.

Keeping in touch, highlighting personal memories you’ve shared, or showing them all over your social media can mean your ex is trying to rekindle the romance and wants you back.

The signs you observe may also give you time to think about the direction your relationship with your ex might be taking.

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Today we’re going to talk about why ex-boyfriends suddenly turn cold after things seem to be going so well.

We’re going to hear from a listener named Lauren who is going through a really, really difficult situation where that’s exactly what’s happening to her.

Before we hear Lauren’s situation, the first thing I want to say is that as you listen to this podcast and decide whether you should try to get your ex back or just move away from your ex, the best thing you can do for yourself is our ex- Take the chances of recovery quiz.

The quiz is literally there for you, and take it easy. It takes two minutes and your answers are right there for you. You can get an idea of ​​where you are right now. With the personal plug out of the way, let’s hear from Lauren.

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She wonders why her ex suddenly turned cold after everything was going so well

“Hi Chris. My name is Lauren. I’m going to try to summarize everything real quick and then ask my question. My ex and I have been together for 10 months. We are both 20. We were both each other’s first serious relationships. We are alive for the semester in different states, across the country, and doing internships.

He broke up with me at the beginning of the semester. I don’t think it was the long distance because I was quite clingy. I had no contact for 22 days. It went really well. When I contacted him again, it was going really well. I ended up making a call and hung up midway through. He said, “Oh, text me tomorrow.”

Then he texted me the next day. Everything was going really well until I pushed him to FaceTime with me and kind of told him I miss him. I could tell he was uncomfortable with that. I haven’t made contact again. I saw on your site that this may not be as effective now. We texted a bit the other day. In the end he broke up. Then he got back to me today. I do not know. Should I just wait until next semester? Should I try to be friends now? Because I know he’s lonely in his internship and hasn’t made many friends. I don’t really know what to do. Many Thanks.”

A summary of Lauren’s situation

Lauren finds herself in a really interesting situation.

It looks like her ex broke up with her after 10 months of relationship.

You are in this long distance relationship situation.

He’s the one who broke up with her.

She thinks it’s not because of the long distance but because she was clingy.

They started talking again after she tried to comply with a no-contact rule.

It lasted more like 21-22 days.

It looks like things were going really well, but she went a little too fast, too soon.

He was hot one minute, cold the next, which is a really common behavior we see in exes where they just get hot and cold.

What I’d like to do today is talk to you and Lauren personally about why ex-boyfriends are cold to you.

There are four really common reasons we see this.

Also, what to do if they get you cold, assuming you want them back. Or what should you do even if you don’t want them back?

How should one approach this situation?

The Four Reasons Why Ex-Boyfriends Suddenly Turn Cold

First things first, let’s take a look at the many reasons why an ex will dump you.

There’s really four main reasons we’ve seen ex-boyfriends get cold.

We think, or rather I think Lauren fell into the trap of reason number one.

Reason #1: Too early, too fast

Reason number one is going too fast, too soon.

This is a really common thing that we see after the no contact rule.

The no contact rule dictates that you ignore your ex. Lauren lasted 22 days. She probably should have lasted 30 days, but 22 days is more than 21 days, which I think is about three weeks.

What happens during that three-week period of not speaking to your ex is that you think about them constantly. What happens when you actually talk to them again, you want to speed up the process.

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This is a process that doesn’t work well if you rush it.

I’ll get to that in a moment, but one of the main reasons that acting too fast and too soon doesn’t work is that it’s almost like trying to force your ex to do what you do want from him without letting them make their own decisions or come to their own conclusions. You kind of force them on their way.

You can’t do it that way.

We don’t normally consider this a sprint. We consider this a marathon. Ironically, those who think of it as a sprint fail. The people who see it like a marathon usually have much more success. The first reason an ex suddenly turns cold after they seem kind of hot for you at first is that you’re moving too fast, too soon.

Reason #2: Your ex found a new alternative

The second reason is a bit scarier. The second reason is that they found a new alternative.

I’ve long been a proponent of interdependence theory, which holds that people make attachment decisions based on costs and benefits. Essentially, they create a pros and cons list in their head and use that pros and cons list to compare you to other applicants.

The pros and cons list usually consists of three main factors: how invested they are in the relationship with you, how many alternatives they feel are suitable, and how satisfied they were with the relationship with you.

You’re pretty much on a rating scale throughout your relationship where they have these internal ways of marking you, like, “Hey, she was an 8 out of 10 with satisfaction, but I have a feeling there’s someone out there.” who is better than me.”

What we find is one reason why an ex may cold you because they find a new alternative. Well, you’d often be so surprised at how often new alternatives turn out to be more of a grass-is-greener situation where they say, “Oh, I thought this person would be better,” and then they’re no better.

We can’t deny the fact that sometimes an ex reacts coldly to you for finding these new alternatives. That’s reason number two.

Reason #3: Your ex thinks he has you

Reason number three is something I actually see a lot more than going too fast and too soon and finding a new alternative.

Reason number three is to think they have you. There is no more challenge.

Play hard to get works. I hate to tell you, but it does.

One of the reasons it works is because men like to hunt. When the hunt isn’t there anymore, when they feel like they have you, y’all… That’s a really tough thing for women trying to get their exes back because a lot of times, you know what? they already had you You know how that is.

You need to bring something new to the table, a new facet of yourself, a new aspect of yourself that you haven’t shown them before.

Maybe it’s a bit more disciplined with how you end conversations, end conversations at peak and things like that. The moment an ex thinks they have you, there is no longer a challenge.

The kind of excitement of trying to date you gets a little boring. It’s tough because they’ve already dated you, so you’ve got that against you almost all the time. It’s difficult when they already feel like they know everything about you.

What I usually say to my clients is, “Don’t try to reinforce some of the normal dating behaviors that you enjoy. Try to push through the good points, of course, but also try to bring something new to the table that you don’t recognise.”

I’ll actually talk about that a little later when I talk about what you can do when an ex leaves you cold.

Reason #4: Overly emotional texting

We still have one reason why an ex leaves you cold, and that is over-emotional texting. Now I have a really funny acronym for it too, and it’s called gnating. G-N-A-T… Crazy when texting.

When we’re extremely emotional after a breakup, we tend to just freak out and want answers and closure and get angry when we don’t get immediate answers. Sometimes when an ex is engaging with you, you can be a little too emotional, a little too overwhelmed with texting.

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It becomes a bit of a burden and a bit of an annoyance to them.

They say, “Ah. Every time I talk to this girl, she always brings it up.” Or, “Every time I talk to this girl, she gets so tense.”

These are not attractive behaviors for men when making decisions about whether or not to come back with you.

Well, Lauren, I’m not saying you did any of that. I’m just showing you. I think one thing we can agree on is that you went too fast, too soon. That’s the only reason I think your ex is starting to get cold on you. It scares him a little.

What can you do for people like you Lauren who are in a situation where an ex is kinda playing the mixed signals hot and cold and they are in the cold aspect what can you do to heat them up?

OK. That’s great. I’ll use a cooking analogy. First time I did this on Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast but here we go. I’ll try it. You freeze something in the freezer. You decide it’s time to cook up that bad boy. Let’s say it’s meat or something. After all, men are nothing but hunks of meat, right? You decided you’re going to try to cook this frozen thing. How would you thaw this bad boy?

Would you leave it outside and wait for it to melt? Or would you heat it up slowly? Or would you put it in the microwave and heat it up as fast as possible? What do you think is the way this food would taste best? Well I think the best way is probably to heat it up slowly. It’s a slow burn. This is how you need to look at your situation with your ex.

The importance of the slow burn strategy

Also, I admit that this was an absolutely cruel analogy. Sometimes in my head when I’m making these things up I’m like, ‘Oh, that sounds really cool. It’s a new way of saying things. Maybe some lightbulbs will come on here for the audience.” Then when I say it, it just didn’t work. I think you got the point I’m trying to make here.

When trying to get an ex back or dealing with a situation like this, “it’s almost always better to think of your entire approach as a slow strategy. In fact, your strategy when it comes to getting him back has to be so gradual that they don’t even realize it’s happening to them.

This requires a lot of patience on your part. That’s why walking too fast, too early, doesn’t work so well.

The analogy I often give when it comes to texting is that a lot of people say, “Hey, how many text messages should I send? How many text messages are right for my situation?” My answer to that lately has been, “I don’t know. It depends on.”

I’ll teach them my tidal theory. If you’ve ever walked the beach in the morning, the tide, the way the waves come out on the beach have a certain level. If you stay in the same place on the beach for 24 hours, you will see that this level changes.

It gets closer and closer and closer to where you laid out your towel, for example. Do you notice that all at once? Is it like, hey, you close your eyes and next thing is water ruining your stuff? no It’s such a gradual process. You don’t even see it happening. This is how you need to approach to get your ex back.

Don’t think of this as a sprint. Like I said, look at it like a marathon. what should you do Well, I can’t help but notice, Lauren. In your situation, you complied with a 22-day no-contact rule and then you really left too fast, too soon. One thing that I think many people have missed is some of the aspects they should fulfill during the no-contact rule. The No Contact Rule… Most people see it this way, is this a way to play tough and make your ex want you? This is actually one of the worst ways to approach the no-contact rule. I’ll just say that now. One of the best ways to approach the no-contact rule is to understand, yes, it will do that. This can help you. You make an ex miss you.

The unbearable mindset

What you use with that time apart from your ex, how you transform your life, how you add that new aspect of yourself that intrigues him is almost as important as willingly ignoring your ex. I talked a lot about this in a book I was writing called Ungettable. I was talking about… What’s an unsaleable girl? Because one thing I always talk about during the no contact rule is that you have to try and grab that adamant mindset.

You must feel unreachable. What’s really fascinating is when I went to our private Facebook group for anyone who has access to the ex-boyfriend recovery program, I polled the women there to see what “Ungettable” means to you? Here were some of their answers. I’m actually going to pull it up here. It’s really fascinating because they’re all pretty much the same thing.

Anyway, here’s what women had to say about what it looked like when you couldn’t be reached:

be confident

love yourself

carry a big stick and scare away men

be treated with respect

not be a second choice

set and achieve goals

Somehow the song can’t touch the one playing in my head.

Have confidence in the decisions you make

live your best life

Be cool in every situation

be positive

no matter what life throws in your way

be true to yourself

upset other people’s expectations of you

Be the best version of yourself

be independent

Upgrade your life in all areas

being happy and doing things for you, not for him

find inner peace, be okay with doing things alone

not easy to catch

play hard to get

Finding joy in life no matter what

every thought and action of mine, or just celebrating the fact that I’m amazing.

Why did I do this exercise in particular? Because the things, those adjectives that I just described that become unattainable are the things that you have to try during lockdown. The two I really want to point out here are to throw off other people’s expectations of you and have a positive attitude no matter what life throws your way. Let’s start with the first one: overturning other people’s expectations of you.

I’ve said several times that when you’re fitting back in and trying to get your ex back, you need to present this new aspect of yourself that’s like, ‘Oh, I didn’t know that about her. Maybe I misjudged her.” People, especially your ex, will have certain expectations of you, but if you could find a way to add a new facet, you can find a way to add a new version of what you’re implying Table can bring, that will fascinate your ex.

What are your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back? take the quiz

Usually the best way to do this is to get other people to take notice of you. That’s why I always talk about social media and why is it so important. Doing things to seem unattainable or trying to achieve that unattainable mindset will not only interest your ex, but all sorts of other men out there as well. The more men you find fascinating and interesting, the less afraid of loss when it comes to making a commitment decision. The second thing I think is to have a positive attitude no matter what life throws your way.

Success is not linear

I was in the facebook group yesterday trying to reply to some people’s comments. It was very interesting.

There was a woman in there who was really struggling with the daily process of going through a no contact rule and obsessing over what her ex is saying and doing and whatnot. I told her. I said, “A lot of people have this misconception that success is linear, but that’s not what success looks like.” Success often means three steps forward, four steps back, two steps forward, one step back, two steps forward, two steps go back, five steps forward, two steps back. you get the picture Often it’s not just, hey, I’ll just move on. It’s also understandable that there will be setbacks along the way. I think if you can have a positive attitude no matter what setbacks are thrown your way it is a really great job for your overall mentality, attitude and also just plain you will do really well in life.

One of my favorite quotes is “this too shall pass” because no matter what, it applies to almost anything. The good times won’t last forever and the bad times won’t last forever. This too shall pass. The last thing I want to leave you with, Lauren, is a quote from The Way of the Samurai. In case you don’t know, I’m kind of a nerd. i like philosophy I love the way of the samurai because I think the life of the samurai was really set. Samurai would live their lives in such a way that they would achieve or try to achieve total perfection, knowing that total perfection is impossible. What matters is not the fact that you achieve perfection, but the fact that you strive to achieve perfection every day. I think we only live a fulfilling life when, at the end of the day, we are constantly pushing ourselves and fulfilling our potential.

Here is the quote I want to leave you with: “One should spend one’s whole life studying hard as much as one can. In this way you become a more evolved and fully realized human being with each passing day. The goal of total perfection has no end.” I think what I’m trying to say about this, and how it relates to you, Lauren, is that you should try to achieve that unattainable mindset, that unattainable status, not for your ex or to get your next friend back, but because it’s you reaching your maximum potential. Just understand that one symptom of becoming unsaleable is that your ex finds you more intriguing and interesting. That goes for everyone here. You should always strive to improve yourself no matter what. You should always try to step back, look at your situation and say, “How can I do better?” No matter how perfect it is, you’re never satisfied. Always further forward.

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Do you feel like your ex girlfriend wants you back?

You could be right. In fact, if she shows any of these 22 signs, there’s a good chance she wants you back.

These signs are subtle, but they all point to a single conclusion — that she wants you back. She just doesn’t want to admit it yet.

Let’s get to the signs!

1) She hasn’t dated since you broke up

A subtle sign that your ex girlfriend wants you back (she may not be aware of it) is if she hasn’t dated anyone since you broke up.

This sign is proof that she might want you back, but it could mean other things as well.

For example, she might have decided to stay single to heal her wounds. Or she may have decided to focus on something else entirely; something related to their career or other goals.

The truth is; one cannot know exactly. However, you can take this as an indication that at least she wasn’t, and still is, not interested in another guy.

2) Your ex girlfriend pays a lot of attention to your social media.

Another subtle sign your ex wants you back is if they pay a lot of attention to your social media.

For example, if she wants you back but won’t admit it, she’ll start keeping tabs on you and checking out things you’re doing. This can include monitoring all of your social media accounts.

But how can you tell if this is happening? Well… the most common things she might do is like your posts or react to your stories.

Also, she might start commenting on your posts and complimenting you, among other things. In this way, she might be trying to subtly let you know that she’s interested in seeing you again.

3) Would you like advice specific to your situation?

While the signs in this article will help you figure out if she wants you back, talking to a relationship coach about your situation can help.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you are facing in your love life.

Relationship Hero is a website where highly qualified relationship coaches help people overcome complex and difficult love situations, e.g. B. Getting back together with someone. They are popular because they really help people solve problems.

Why do I recommend them?

Well after having difficulties in my own love life I turned to her a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.

I was blown away by how genuine, understanding and professional they were.

In just minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and receive tailored advice specific to your situation.

Click here to start.

4) Your ex girlfriend innocently calls or texts you after weeks or months

Have you ever received a random call or text message from your ex girlfriend after weeks or even months? If so, then you might come across something here.

If your ex girlfriend contacts you out of the blue, she might want to see if there is anything left between the two of you. However, she probably doesn’t want to admit that to herself (or you) by talking about it directly and openly.

Therefore, she might innocently turn to you instead.

Surprisingly, this can be a subtle sign that she wants you back.

5) She appears unexpectedly in places where you usually hang out

Another subtle sign that your ex wants you back is when she unexpectedly shows up at places where you usually hang out.

It’s not that she doesn’t know that you usually hang out in places like this. The point is, she might be doing this on purpose, even if she doesn’t admit it.

That way she would have a chance to see you again without having to be the one who initiated it. That’s very handy, isn’t it?

If you think about it, it’s pretty creative of her to find ways to see you without actually asking you out.

6) She posts a lot of pictures of you two on social media

A subtle sign that your ex girlfriend wants you back is when she posts pictures of you both on social media.

This is her way of letting others know that the two of you were once together. And maybe a part of her still wishes that were the case today.

Also, she could be subtly implying that she wants you back by posting pictures like this.

But one thing is for sure: she won’t admit it!

But why? you might ask. Well, she probably doesn’t want to seem desperate by coming out and telling everyone she wants you back. That’s why she finds subtle and less forward-looking ways to let you know.

7) She’s still attracted to your trust

Confidence in men is very attractive. So, if you’re a confident man, she might still be attracted to your confidence and feel like she wants you back.

how should i know I learned this from relationship expert Kate Spring.

As she taught me, confidence triggers something deep within women that instantly triggers attraction.

If you want to boost your confidence towards women and your ex girlfriend in particular, watch Kate’s excellent free video here.

Watching Kate’s videos was a turning point for me. Because I know exactly what it feels like to not be able to get dates… searching for “the right one”… being stuck in a relationship that just isn’t working… wondering if my ex wants me back.

However, with Kate’s help, I’ve been with the kind of high-profile women I never thought possible. The trust she gave me has also helped me to be successful in other areas of my life.

Here’s a link to Kate’s free video again.

8) She wants to spend as much time with you as she used to

Let’s say you and your ex-girlfriend are talking to each other. If so, have you noticed that your ex girlfriend wants to hang out with you just as much as she used to?

I’m asking you this because if so, there’s a good chance she wants you back.

When two people are into each other, they want to spend time together. Also, they like being together and they want that bonding experience to continue in the future.

So, if your ex girlfriend wants to spend as much time with you as before, it could be a subtle sign that she wants you back.

9) She tries to get your attention in various subtle ways

If your ex girlfriend is trying to get your attention in a variety of subtle ways, it could be a sign that she wants you back.

For real? As?

A subtle sign of this is when she starts doing things that seem like nothing more than coincidence, or things that have absolutely nothing to do with you but still seem like they are about you.

For example, she suddenly starts playing your favorite video game and starts posting on her social media about how you play it. Or she shows up at your gym and says you’ve always loved this place and she wanted to try it.

10) Your ex girlfriend often gets hot and cold

This girl drives you crazy because you never know what to expect from her. She’ll be cold and distant one minute, and the next she’ll be telling you she misses you.

It’s really confusing, isn’t it?

Well…if that seems like she’s going to do that, then it could be a sign that she wants you back.

It’s definitely not easy dealing with someone who wants to confuse you. But if your ex girlfriend does things like this on purpose, I would say that it is a sign that she still has feelings for you.

But what should you do? The best thing you can do is withdraw yourself a little.

It’s a psychological fact that when we fear losing something, we want it ten times more.

This is where “nice guys” get it wrong. Women aren’t “fearful of losing” a nice guy… and that makes them pretty unattractive.

I learned this from my session with my Relationship Hero coach.

They are an extremely popular relationship coaching site because they offer solutions, not just talk.

In just minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and receive tailored advice specific to your situation.

Click here to check them out.

⌄ Scroll down to continue reading the article ⌄ Do you suffer from empty and draining relationships? Legendary shaman Rudá Iandê reveals the 3 most important factors for healthy and loving relationships (and experiencing them now). Watch the free video now ⌄ Scroll down to continue reading the article ⌄

11) Your ex-girlfriend is still in contact with your friends

While it’s not uncommon for an ex and her ex’s boyfriend to hook up, it can be a sign that she wants you back.

If she’s still in touch with your friends and wants to see them regularly, it could be because she wants to keep an eye on you, so to speak.

And if that’s the case, maybe she’s doing it to see if she still has a chance of getting back together with you. That’s because she might need some kind of validation from your friends.

12) She says things that make you feel like she still has feelings for you

Let me ask you: do you think your ex girlfriend ever tries to compliment you or let you know how much she still has feelings for you?

If so, then it could be a sign that she wants you back.

For example, she might say things like, “You’re still my favorite person. I wish we could start over” or “I’d like to see you soon”.

Of course, these are just examples, so you might not get such compliments from her. But if you think she does, then that could be a sign that she still has feelings for you.

13) Your ex-girlfriend wants to talk to you about the breakup

Another sign that she wants you back but won’t admit it? The fact that she wants to talk to you about the breakup.

If she wants to talk about the breakup, she may want to do so because she feels she has to, or because she hopes you’ll say things like, “Why didn’t you tell me how you felt?”

Regardless of the reason, if your ex girlfriend wants to talk about the breakup in this way, it could be a subtle sign that she wants you back.

Why doesn’t she admit it? Because it would feel weird to her.

14) You feel like your friends are spying on you

If someone is spying on you, that’s definitely not good news. However, if you’re hoping to get your ex girlfriend back, this could be a good thing!

Since she can’t spy on you directly because she probably isn’t that desperate or a stalker, she asks her friends to tell her what you’re up to.

At first it was thought to be a coincidence that we saw them so frequently. But now you’re wondering if that’s a subtle sign that your ex girlfriend wants you back.

Well… it could be, especially if their friends have been asking you lots of questions about the breakup or talking to you about how they’ve seen you more often.

15) She is happy to help you with anything you need

Listen: some people can really become friends even if they were previously involved in a relationship. However, these cases are really rare.

In most cases, when two people were in a relationship, they didn’t become friends outside of the relationship.

So if you are hoping to get your ex girlfriend back, this could be a good sign that she is just helping you to get your attention and spend more time with you.

16) You notice many positive changes in her

A subtle sign that she wants you back but won’t admit it when she starts to improve inside and out. In other words, you notice a change in her personality and appearance.

For example, she becomes less negative, less selfish, and more mature. It could be because she’s embarrassed about the breakup and wants to make things better for some reason.

She’s probably not hoping to catch your attention with this change in behavior and looks like some of the other signs on this list.

But if you think she’s making these changes on purpose and that they might have something to do with catching your attention, that’s another sign that she might want you back.

17) She calls you sometimes when she is drunk

This girl sometimes calls you when she is drunk or she calls you and says that she called you by mistake. She then walks normally again and remains relatively calm.

Why is she doing this? Maybe she’s doing it because she’s still in love with you and she wants to know how you feel about her. Maybe she’s doing it because she wants to apologize for the breakup and get your attention with those calls.

It could be that this is a sign that there is still something between the two of you and you should try to get her back (if that’s what you want)!

18) Your ex girlfriend is suddenly super nice to you

What’s wrong with being super nice, anyway? Nothing if you are hoping to get your ex girlfriend back and she is still interested in you.

Because if she’s suddenly super nice to you, it could be a sign that she’s really trying to get your attention. Maybe she wants to make sure you know she’s changed and that the breakup wasn’t her fault.

She may just be trying very hard to make amends with her “new” nice behavior, all of which are signs that she wants you back but won’t admit it.

19) She is still very angry with you and responds accordingly

Look: whatever happened between the two of you, she is still very angry with you, and when you try to contact her, she responds accordingly.

What do I mean? For example, she might respond brusquely to everything you say. Or she could be very rude and abusive to you, even if you’re not doing anything wrong.

Why would she do that? Maybe she’s still so mad at you that she can’t reply nicely.

Or maybe she’s trying to get your attention in a very cynical way. Nonetheless, these are signs that she still has feelings for you.

Even if they seem negative at the moment, they are still feelings.

20) Your ex girlfriend is subtly flirting with you

You know this woman, so you should be able to discern her intentions. At the very least, you should find out if she’s really flirting with you or if it’s your imagination trying to prank you.

So is she flirting with you? If she is, that’s a sign that there might be something else between the two of you, or at least that she wants to make out with you.

This doesn’t necessarily mean she wants your relationship back to how it was before the breakup, but it’s a good start!

21) She replies quickly when you text her

That’s a big sign that she wants you back, but she won’t admit it! You keep in touch with your ex-girlfriend regularly, and sometimes you text her asking if she wants to talk.

If you send her a message, she replies quickly!

Why is she reacting so quickly? Because she doesn’t want to play games and makes you think she’s really busy. She just doesn’t want to give the wrong impression.

If she replies quickly, it could also be because she wants you to know that she is available for you.

Again, this doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to get your relationship back to how it was before, but it could be a good start!

22) Your ex girlfriend seems to agree with you more than ever

The last sign you can use to tell if your ex girlfriend wants you back is if she seems to agree with you more than ever.

You two don’t talk much, but when you do, she seems to agree with almost anything you have to say. This could be because she’s trying very hard to appear confident or mature when in reality she can’t admit that she wants you back.

Why is that? Well, it could be because she thinks that knowing that you won’t take her back. Or she doesn’t want to admit that she wants you back because it seems too easy.

Body language signs that my ex wants me back

You and your ex girlfriend don’t speak to each other but see each other often?

In that case, I have amazing news for you: You can tell if she wants you back but not admit it if you pay close attention to her body language when you’re around.

What do I mean?

My advice is to ask yourself these questions:

is she looking at you

Does she seem uncomfortable?

Does she look nervous?

Does she look away when you look at her?

Are your cheeks getting red?

Just keep these questions in mind and pay attention to your ex-girlfriend’s body language. You will immediately notice how she changes!

Take matters into your own hands

Having many of these signs on your side can help you figure out your ex-girlfriend’s intentions. However, if you want her back, you must act!

It all ties to the incredible advice I learned from Kate Spring.

I mentioned them before; She changed dating and relationships for thousands of men.

One of the most valuable things she taught me was this:

Women don’t choose the guy who treats them best. They choose guys that they are very biologically attracted to.

Women don’t like assholes because they are assholes. They like assholes because these guys are confident and give them the right signals. The kind of signals a woman can’t resist.

What if I told you that you could quickly learn the right signals to give to your ex and women in general — and you absolutely don’t have to be an asshole about it?

Check out this free video by Kate Spring.

She reveals the most effective method I’ve come across for attracting and keeping women (while still being a good guy).

It’s tough being hung around by someone who doesn’t actually care about you, but unfortunately that happens all the time.

It’s my fault. I hit on a lot of guys. And honestly, I do that when I’m bored.

Out of sheer boredom, I start toying with the idea of ​​dating a guy who makes me gouge my eyes out instead of having a five-minute conversation with him.

And before you judge me (or that girl who’s tutoring you right now), I’d bet a significant amount of money that you’re probably guilty of infecting someone at some point in your life.

So, does this girl you dated like you or is she just bored?

Read along and see for yourself.

She’s not that into you, but she keeps you around because she gets bored when…

1. She comes up to you more often than she actually shows up.

To them, you’re not even plan B. You’re plan Z.

When literally EVERYTHING else fails, she will hang out with you. You are their safety net, their backup plan.

2. She has no problem texting you first…like always.

Obviously you don’t want a girl obsessed with playing games to the point where you feel like you’re the one doing all the trouble. But it’s almost a little flattering to know that she cares enough about playing them.

Not this girl. She texts you first when she feels like it because she really doesn’t care what you think of her.

3. She rarely replies to your messages.

Their relationship is entirely on their terms.

Sure, she can text you back and probably expect an almost immediate response, but what happens when you reach out to her?

Oh, it could be weeks before you hear from her again.

4. She only invites you to do last-minute things.

Again, that’s because you’re their Plan Z.

She’s already spent the rest of the week inviting literally everyone else she can think of, and she only settled on you an hour before the actual event.

You are their safety net, their backup plan.

5. She’s on the phone most of the time when you’re out.

This is because she has no real interest in anything you have to say.

6. Apart from over-the-top flirtations, she doesn’t talk much.

You two have nothing in common. This means that no real connection can be established.

All you really get from her end when you’re together is obnoxious flirting that she could do with any other guy.

7. She doesn’t really try to introduce you to her friends.

If you ever had the chance to meet her friends, it was pure coincidence.

Maybe they were walking out of her apartment when you walked in, or maybe they were at the bar with her when she texted you to meet her at 4am.

Regardless of how you met her, it took her a while to figure out who you are (you know because she RARELY mentions you).

8. She has no real desire to meet your friends.

Aside from not introducing you to any of her friends, she couldn’t care less about meeting your friends either.

9. She’s quick to jump off at the slightest sign of trouble.

Well, she’s not invested in this relationship (or whatever it is) at all, so even the slightest misunderstanding can be enough to piss her off for good.

Why? Well, who has the energy to fight for a relationship they don’t care about?

You two have nothing in common. This means that no real connection can be established.

10. She literally makes no effort to be her best self around you.

In other words, she’ll openly fart in front of you and not feel even the slightest bit embarrassed about it.

11. She can go weeks without communicating with you in any shape or form.

Weeks, maybe even months, can go by and nothing is heard from her. There are several occasions when you wonder if she is dead or alive.

But if it weren’t for all the social media updates about her having the time of her life elsewhere (without you, I must add), you’d actually be worried.

But all this happens because she doesn’t worry about you, lest you forget.

12. She will text you, “What are you up to?” then stop answering.

Not on purpose, just because she literally didn’t care enough to answer.

Or she forgot. Possibly both.

13. She never wants to cuddle.

She sleeps perfectly comfortably on opposite sides of the bed.

14. She never sleeps over unless absolutely necessary.

It’s usually gone when you open your eyes in the morning.

15. She didn’t save your number on her phone.

Even though you met years ago.

Who has the energy to fight for a relationship they don’t care about?

16. She doesn’t seem happy with her life.

And that is what it is about.

Maybe she’s still not over her ex. Maybe she’s afraid of being alone. Maybe she has problems with her friends.

Whatever the case, she needs you as some kind of comfort.