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Table of Contents
How do you write a kissing scene?
- Metaphors are key. …
- Build maximum tension before the kiss begins. …
- Pay attention to psychology. …
- Treat the act of kissing as an entire narrative, with a beginning, rising action, and climax. …
- Have your kissing scene be a revelation. …
- Think about the experiences of both your characters.
How would you describe a KISS in writing?
“His lips were warm and soft. They parted slightly, allowing my tongue to slip inside.” If you want something a bit more passionate: “Our bodies pressed together heatedly against the wall, breathing heavily as our lips pressed together.
How do you write a kissing scene on Tumblr?
- Keep things understated (especially in regards to tongues.) “Our tongues tangled and went to war in our locked mouths, battling madly for dominance.” …
- Don’t get overly floral about taste. “Her lips tasted like peaches and honey.” …
- Focus on how the characters are feeling.
How do you describe a tongue kiss?
A French kiss (also called a tongue kiss, a deep kiss, or making out) is a kiss in which one or both partners use their tongues to stimulate each other’s mouths for mutual sexual pleasure.
How do you text a kiss sound?
Mwah, mwa, or muah pronounced moo-waah; like the sound you would make when giving someone a kiss, is a term used online in chat to express a kiss.
Coffee, Books, and the Blood of My Enemies — How To Write A Kiss Scene: An Illustrated Guide
Mwah, mwa or muah pronounced moo-waah; like the sound you would make when kissing someone is a term used in online chat to express a kiss. The following example shows how mwah could be used in chat.
User1: Ok, I have to go later.
User2: Ok, LYL… MWAH!
User1: Ahhh thanks.
Chat Terms, LYL
How does a kiss taste like?
The kissing flavor of love is soft and subtle and has a slight sweet taste to it. When you having a quick tongue-in- kiss, with some one-night stand, it often tasted like boiled potatoes water.
Coffee, Books, and the Blood of My Enemies — How To Write A Kiss Scene: An Illustrated Guide
Are you looking for a man or a woman? men women
What is your gender? men women
Are you older than 18? Yes No
Do you agree to use a condom when having sex with a partner you meet on our site? Yes No
How do you describe a passionate kiss?
A passionate kiss, you can do the single lip kiss by sucking the lower lip and biting it slowly. This kiss mostly means they want you. Couple who have been together for years now will know that a kiss on the neck is one of the most passionate kisses. It usually leads to foreplay and then love making.
Coffee, Books, and the Blood of My Enemies — How To Write A Kiss Scene: An Illustrated Guide
1. The quick kiss Also read – 6 golden rules when looking for a partner
Also Read – Viral Video: Ever seen elephants kissing? This super cute video will make you go wild | watch
True to its name, the quick kiss is not a romantic, passionate kiss. It is usually shared between people who have been in a relationship for a long time. The guy just needs to kiss the girl on the lips. The quick kiss can also be called a tap kiss and should not last longer than 4 seconds. The meaning of fast is that the person likes you but at the same time wants to take things slowly.
2. French kiss
French kissing is the most passionate of all. This kiss does not begin and end with a kiss. It requires a lot of tongue work and it takes time and practice to get it perfect. It is also said that French kissing can help you burn calories. Long, passionate kisses like French kisses will help the couple get closer than ever.
3. The Butterfly Kiss
The fluttering of butterflies and the batting of eyelids are synonymous. The butterfly kiss is sweet and absolutely adorable. There are no lips involved. The woman approaches the man and presses her eyes to his face. The next step is to flap your eyelashes like a butterfly flies. This kiss is more romantic than sexy. You can also blindfold and blink. The touch of the eyelashes makes this gesture adorable.
4. The nose kiss
Kissing the nose is another cute way to express love. The nose kiss means he/she likes you and thinks you are too cute.
5. The drinking kiss
Got a date planned with your special someone? If so, you absolutely must try the drinking kiss. Take a sip of your favorite drink and kiss him to pass the drink from your mouth to his. That’s called a drinking kiss. Unique and exciting, right?
6. Forehead kiss
The forehead kiss comes purely out of respect and caring. When your guys give you kisses on the forehead, it means he really respects you. The forehead kiss is also shared among friends and not just among couples. The forehead kiss also plays an important role in building trust and affection.
7. Eskimo kiss
Rubbing noses is the Eskimo kiss. It’s fun, romantic and downright cute. Couples do the Eskimo kiss when sharing a light moment or just saying how much they love being with each other.
8. A Lip Kiss:
Ask couples and they will tell you that a lip kiss is one of the best ways to kiss. You feel each other and there is no distance at all. In a passionate kiss, you can perform the kiss with a single lip by sucking on the bottom lip and biting it slowly. That kiss mostly means they want you.
9. Kiss on the Neck:
Couples who have been together for years know that a kiss on the neck is one of the most passionate kisses. It usually leads to foreplay and then lovemaking. A kiss on the neck is never done on a first date. This phase comes fairly later when you both share a comfortable sexual and physical chemistry.
10. Kiss On The Cheek:
This is a universal form of kissing. It is shared between couples, friends and families and so on. It defines the liking and affection between two people. This kiss is suitable for people on their first dates. It’s polite while also telling you how you like your date.
11. Spiderman Kiss:
The Spiderman kiss takes its name from the movie. Since then this has become very popular. For those who still don’t know what the Spiderman kiss is – it’s a kiss where the boy’s head is upside down and kisses the girl in that position. You will feel your partner’s breath and that will make the moment romantic and intense.
12. Stop And Go Kiss:
If you’re going to be out for a long time, be sure to try this kiss. If your vehicle stops at a traffic junction on your journey, just make the most of the moment and enjoy a passionate quick kiss. And that’s called the stop-and-go kiss. It’s quite adventurous.
13. Kissing the back:
This kiss means he wants more than just kisses. The back kiss can only be performed in a private room. It heats up the moment and things will quickly escalate. Only attempt this kiss if you are ready to move things forward.
14. The Lizard Kiss:
This kiss is only shared between couples who are really close and intimate. Here you don’t kiss with your lips, but with your tongue. Both partners tongue kiss and therefore it is a very intimate form of kissing.
15. Kissing on the Ears:
Most women say they love it when their partners kiss each other on the ears. Slowly kissing her hard and then kissing her on the ears will surely turn her on. The ears are the most sensitive area for most women. And kisses on the ears mean the love is deep and intense.
So what are you waiting for now? When you have your partner right next to you, kiss them like there’s no tomorrow and bring back the spark.
How do you write a sweet love scene?
- Go deep into the character’s thoughts.
- Show their reactions—physical and verbal.
- Physical description—but use sensual words as much as possible (more about this later).
- Think about the proximity of the characters in relation to their level of intimacy. …
- Use all the senses.
Coffee, Books, and the Blood of My Enemies — How To Write A Kiss Scene: An Illustrated Guide
Many years ago I drove across the country with my husband and we listened to several audio books on the way. One of them was a spy thriller – a genre we like. There was action. Adventure. An alpha spy doing his super spy thing. And a love interest (or at least a sexual interest).
There was banter. There were sparks. And the aim of the story was for the reader to believe that this hero really cares about this woman.
Why?
Because the bad guys end up killing the woman, which makes the hero go off and “do his spy thing” with even greater intensity. Because he’s mad, right?
Of course he is… but it would have been so much more effective for the story if the sex scene wasn’t a sex scene.
It had to be a love scene.
We needed to feel the connection between these characters, and we didn’t. The hero might as well have slept with a plastic doll, despite all the feelings he seemed to have for her. And that meant the ultimate climax of the book — that urge to avenge her — stayed flat.
I’m not saying all this to discredit the author, but to make a couple of points. First of all, every writer needs to understand what makes a love scene compelling. Not just novelists. Second, Tab A/Slot B sex is boring (and often so bad it’s funny and tweeting).
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Are you ready to learn how to create emotionally driven love scenes? Let’s dive in.
It’s all about the characters in emotionally gripping love scenes
Love scenes are all about the characters…not just the sex.
Serious. When you’re writing a love scene, you have to worry less about the choreography and more about the characters—both inside and outside the bedroom. After all, how can it be an emotional experience for the reader if a) the characters themselves don’t feel those emotions and b) the author doesn’t bring those emotions to the page?
That means making sure there’s a connection between the characters before they even get into the bedroom. And please note that this also applies to bad sex. An attack. An awkward affair with an ex. What matters is what comes before the scene informs the scene.
I recently spoke to New York Times bestselling author Tracy Wolff about this (beware: her latest book, Crave, is due out in April 2020!) and she put it beautifully:
“Writing an emotionally compelling love scene is all about the connection between the characters. Whether it’s a kiss in a young adult novel or a very explicit erotic scene, the reader has to repay emotionally. And that payoff comes only when you’ve stoked the flames between your characters – not just sexual tension, although that’s hugely important, but also the emotional connection between the characters and the high stakes that should separate them.”
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New York Times bestselling author Carly Phillips agrees.
“A compelling love scene, even a one-night stand, needs to have an emotional component to keep a reader interested and invested.”
All of that is well and good, but how do you do it?
Honestly, it’s a lot like acting. Just don’t just play a role; you are everyone
You, the writer, need to find a way to “break” your characters. To get inside their head and convey their unique perspective on the world to your audience, the reader.
Sounds a bit overwhelming, but it’s the best thing about writing. You really need to know your characters to be sure where the story is going – because then the characters make the decisions, not you the puppeteer.
To do this, you’ll want to dig deep and use your own experiences to inform your characters’ decisions and emotions.
Your experiences probably won’t directly align with what your character is going through, but you can find an emotional nugget to build on.
So much sexual tension is awareness, physical and emotional. A slow burn, if you will, with characters noticing and reacting to one another at all levels.
What’s your opinion? Maybe you could think of your first crush in high school? How every little movement meant something, and if it happened to catch your eye across the room, it could make your heart pound wildly for hours.
The best love scenes tap into core emotions so just as much heat is generated before each completion, and when you finally get to the love scene the reader is just as distraught as the characters.
Increasing conflicts to build tension
Phillip’s book Dare Me Tonight illustrates this well. In this book, the heroine is younger than the hero and comes from a dysfunctional family. The man she first sleeps with at twenty-four is in business with the heroine’s brother, so the two must keep their night together a secret.
Notice how the heroine’s emotional state – desire mixed with trepidation at her first time, longing for the hero, frustration at the secret she must keep – all help to keep not only the excitement but the reader’s interest to maintain.
In addition, this scene – as any scene in a book should – drives the story forward. In this case, by aggravating the conflict.
This back and forth between what she wants and what she ultimately can’t have. She wants a hero. The right man. But given the parameters they set, how can this man be the right one?
Abstract:
“She hadn’t been prepared for such an intensity, although she should have been. Everything about Ethan Knight was strong. Tonight had the power to change her world, except, as he had reminded her, it was one night. A Night That Should Never Do She’d ignored the dagger she’d experienced when he’d been banished to his dirty secret and told herself she understood. Sometimes there were reasons for discretion, and there for him to come along with everything at stake at Miami Thunder Stadium, his request made perfect sense. Even if it digged at the pieces of her heart she’d glued together over the years.
Internal monologue vs. external dialogue
Here’s another wonderful illustration from Wolff’s book Ruined, featuring two damaged characters who are almost impossible to trust.
“My body lights up like New Year’s Eve, my fear mingling with his anger, my excitement mingling with his desire. And I know – I know – that there’s no longer any reason to fight it. Because this is ethane. He might have torn my heart to pieces, but he still holds me like I’m the most precious thing in his world.”
These scenes work so well because we already know the characters at this point. Despite this, both authors remind us of the core themes of the heroines. Not because the author tells us so, but because the heroine does.
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But please don’t think I’m saying you can’t write an emotionally compelling love scene in chapter one or as a one night stand five minutes after meeting the characters. Of course you can. But I’m saying you still need to set up these characters so we know what’s at stake for them and why they’re so immersed. We have to look into the characters. Otherwise it’s just choreography.
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As you have probably noticed, in the examples above, the heroine “speaks” to us through her inner monologue. But even the actual conversation can do a lot to elucidate the connection between the characters.
As bestselling author Darcy Burke says:
“I write Regency historical romances and often the heroine has either little or no sexual experience. When they first (and even after) get together, the conversation between them can be both informative and arousing, and it absolutely builds the relationship between the characters.”
Check out this excerpt from Burke’s A Duke Is Never Enough, which shows how dialogue can strengthen relationships and add warmth to the scene.
He kissed her cheek, her chin, her ear. “Tell me how you feel.” “I can’t explain it.” Her words were breathless. “Where you touch me… it’s like you’re starting a fire. The flames are there, but I have to catch them.” He grinned. “Let’s see if I can stir it up.”
Make a connection between characters
So we need the connection… how do we make it?
Good question, and again it comes down to knowing your characters. But there are also some techniques you can use to externally reveal what’s going on inside your characters.
It probably goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway.
You have to start with attraction.
Even in a tale of enemies to lovers there is attraction. Maybe it’s physical. Maybe it was even born out of revenge, but something draws these two people together. We’re talking attraction like in your old high school science class — something in these characters that talks to each other and draws them together.
And these are traits that your characters find attractive at the deepest level. That doesn’t mean drooling over six-pack abs or going ga-ga for women in a tight skirt.
Maybe it’s his smile – it’s delicate and sweet with a hint of amusement. Or the way she looks at everyone so directly without ever batting an eyelid. Maybe they’re in a supermarket and she’s arguing with the clerk. She feels like no one is on her side when this sweaty runner, who she wouldn’t normally have noticed, walks in to solve the mystery, and she sees a goodness at its core. He may be her business enemy, but while he’s the bane of her existence, he’s competent and fierce, and exudes all those qualities. A warrior at its core. Not what she told herself, but you can’t hide from your ultimate desire.
So there will be an awareness at that first meeting, but that awareness will change as the story progresses, just like it changes in any relationship – and you as the writer need to show those changes through the emotional responses and also the physical interactions between the characters.
How you do that? Well, you have to get close enough to the characters to see what they see and feel what they feel. Like I said above, it’s like acting. But here I will tell you about the techniques I have mentioned.
Show a connection between characters
1. Go deep into the character’s mind.
2. Show their reactions – physically and verbally.
3. Physical description – but use sensual words as much as possible (more on that later).
4. Consider the closeness of the characters in terms of their intimacy.
Desmond Morris, author of The Naked Ape, describes these stages of intimacy:
awareness of presence
eye level
verbal
from hand to hand
arm to shoulder
arm to waist
mouth to mouth
hand to the head
hand to body
Etc…
As a general rule, most people internalize these stages and don’t plan these steps when they write because they are in character. But if something feels wrong, go back and see if you skipped or rearranged a step. You may find that following the path increases the intensity of your scene.
5. Use all your senses.
Remember, sensuality comes from your senses. Practical… and linguistic!
See: what they see, what that sight evokes, how they react. Pay attention to the words used to describe it. Not just red lips and tanned skin. But lips that reminded him of strawberries and sun-kissed skin that he imagined had absolutely no tan lines.
: what they see, what this sight evokes, how they react. Pay attention to the words used to describe it. Not just red lips and tanned skin. But lips that reminded him of strawberries and sun-kissed skin that he imagined had absolutely no tan lines. Taste : the food, its skin, etc.
Sounds: music, wind, the melody of voices, of words
Touch: the feeling of his skin touching it (and the reaction!!)
Smell: perfume, food (remember, scents can enhance eroticism)
Here is an example from my novel Release Me that illustrates some of the points above.
This is a few moments after they met; At this point, she has already physically described him to the reader:
He steps back and looks me up and down with slow deliberation (noting his confidence and personality). His inspection seems to take hours when it only has to take seconds. The air between us crackles and I want to walk towards him to close the gap between us again. (Awareness of Presence) But I remain rooted in place. (Reaction, informs her character) He lingers on my lips for a moment before finally lifting his head to meet my gaze and then I move. (eye to eye) I can’t help it. I’m drawn to the power and pressure of the storm building in those damn eyes. (Reaction)
The choice of the place of a romantic scene
Pay attention to the locations of your scenes. Surroundings can inform a budding love scene almost as much as a caress.
For example, the setting can reinforce a theme or character trait. In this excerpt from Wanted, the heroine feels suffocated. She wants to “fly” into the world. She wants to let go. In this scene, the hero finds her looking out of a skyscraper window. At this point there is nothing between them but an intense attraction that they both fight because he promised her uncle that he will stay far away from her. The scene clarifies her attraction and subtly shows how much the hero understands her. And how much she wants to surrender to him. To fly.
Abstract:
“It’s not a weakness to want to let go,” he said. “Wanting the thrill of taking a risk. The pleasure of feeling the rush.” I blinked. “How did you…” “Shhh.” His smile was slow and easy, revealing a rarely seen dimple in his cheek. “You need it. You’ve been locked up all night and gone insane. Locked up in your grief. Come on now. Close your eyes and turn around.” “But I…” That finger rose and pressed gently to my lips. “Don’t argue. Just do it.” Unquestioning obedience isn’t normally my practice, but to my surprise, I’ve complied. I closed my eyes, letting the darkness take over me, and then moved so I was looking at the glass again. If I had opened my eyes I would have seen the night sky spread out far in front of me. Instead, all I saw was Evan, larger than life in my head.
The setting can also be enhanced with contrast (a hot kiss in a stinky alley; a romantic ride on a Ferris wheel on a freezing night when she forgot a sweater). It can even be a catalyst for a character’s reflection.
Creating connection… but also conflict
Have you noticed that there are conflicts in most of the examples?
Conflict between the characters or internal conflict where the character is essentially fighting with himself. That’s because conflict is another key component of a compelling love scene.
Because as long as your story is not over, there is still something that separates these two people.
And it will be revealed through intimacy. Conflict can feed sexual attraction – characters pull apart even as chemistry/attraction pulls them together.
Conflict also allows us to maintain sexual tension even after the characters have made love (or gotten damn close). So unless you write a very sweet romance where the only love scene is the climax of the book, you can continue this tension between the characters even after the lovemaking.
Start with conflicts that separate the characters – in “Release Me” the heroine Nikki is an editor. At first she doesn’t want Damien to see her scars, yet she’s very fond of seduction. So there’s an internal push/pull with her, but ultimately the fact that she’s damaged wins… until it’s not.
Later on, it’s his understanding and acceptance that makes the love scene so much sweeter.
But that’s not the end of the book; not even close… so we need more conflict and the story changes.
Now it’s about Damien’s conflict.
In other words, you can resolve some of the conflict that goes into a love scene… but you then have to bring conflict back into the mix if you want to keep the suspense high and the reader turning the pages – and you do!
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Focusing on the sensuality of your language outside of a sex scene also increases the heat and sexual tension, paving the way for an even more compelling love scene.
Why? Because your book is part of a relationship with your readers. You want to annoy them as much as you want the characters to annoy each other. It’s a bit of a foreplay with the readers before it gets to the actual love scene.
So think about the words you use. Are they impressive? Beautiful words that caress the senses or harsher words that talk about the characters?
As much as possible they should be…but not in a way that makes your prose seem pretentious or closely related to a thesaurus. You don’t want to sound like an overbearing catalog of adjectives. And the way to do THAT is to tie it to the characters.
Joining the pieces in a love scene
I said above that love scenes aren’t just about the choreography between characters. In fact, one of the hottest and most emotionally revealing scenes I’ve written is the character’s first sexual encounter in Release Me… and the hero isn’t even there. He’s on the other end of a phone line while she’s in a limousine. And the scene is not only searing but reveals so much character about the hero and heroine.
And the only reason the scene works is because there was so much back and forth between the hero and heroine in the early chapters of the book.
My limousine example is one of the reasons I can confidently say that Tab A/Slot B choreography ranks very low on the list of what makes a scene emotionally compelling. Ultimately, you want to make sure all the different body parts are where they’re supposed to be and nobody has an extra arm, but before you get there you need to make sure the deeper elements of the love scene are addressed.
Dialogue: How much are these characters willing to share with each other at this point in the story, and how comfortably do they communicate?
How much are these characters willing to share with each other at this point in the story, and how comfortably do they communicate? Internal Reactions: How do they both feel when making love and how does it change their perception of their world and their partner?
How do they both feel when making love and how does it change their perception of their world and their partner? Physical Reactions: These can be more detailed depending on the type of story you’re writing (more detailed = more steam). It’s about showing how comfortable (or not) the characters are with each other and how they respond to their lover’s touch so the reader doesn’t get lost in the enactment.
Writing a love scene: putting it on paper
So we went through the components. How do you actually get that down on paper? That’s a trickier question than it seems. The obvious answer is that you write it, but it’s not quite that simple.
Writing physically or emotionally intense scenes (action scenes, fight scenes, love scenes) can be exhausting.
Working to make the scene as intense and rich as possible can be a lot more tiring than other elements of writing a book.
When I started writing, I had to go straight through and edit everything, from the first word to the very last punctuation mark. Every day I read what came before and edited it. When I finished the book it was pretty much ready to go to my editor.
Well, I still tend to write that way… with one exception. love scenes.
I discovered early in my career that I would end up spending a whole day doing a love scene at the expense of story progression. But now I’m finding that the “push through” process just doesn’t work for me.
What I do instead is yada yada, the sex. For those of you who didn’t see that particular Seinfeld episode, I’ll hit the high notes of the scene and then move on. I’ll add quick notes to the emotional beats and physical choreography myself so I’ll remember what was on my mind when I come back. But I’ll pull through. Very coarse. Very unpolished. Very minimal.
The next day I come back and edit it while layering more as I go. And as I do that, I think about the needs and motivations of the characters. I think about conflicts. I think about the attitude. I think about my choice of words. And yes, I am thinking of choreography. And the scene grows.
And the next day I repeat the process, adding text and cleaning up previous words. And the scene gets even better.
Sometimes I fly through the scene on the second day. But usually it takes several passes. Either way, ultimately the scene is richer for the process. It’s a bit like blocking out a play and then adding the actor’s little nuances and character interpretations.
Then when I type “The End” I have a compelling love scene that is emotionally rich and moves the story forward. Obviously the process isn’t the same for everyone, but if you’re still looking for ways to make your love scenes emotionally richer and more satisfying, I hope you’ve found something useful in this article!
How do you describe making out?
Making out is a term of American origin dating back to at least 1949, and is used to refer to kissing, including extended French kissing or heavy kissing of the neck (called necking), or to acts of non-penetrative sex such as heavy petting.
Coffee, Books, and the Blood of My Enemies — How To Write A Kiss Scene: An Illustrated Guide
“Snog” redirects here. For the band, see Snog (band)
Silhouette of a couple making out
Smooching is a term of American origin, dating back to at least 1949[1], and refers to kissing, including extended French kissing or vigorous kissing of the neck (called necking)[2] or acts involving penetrative sex such as vigorous petting .[2][3] Equivalent terms in other dialects include British English dropping and Hiberno-English shift. When performed in a stationary vehicle, it has been euphemistically referred to as parking, [5] [6] consistent with American car culture.
history [edit]
The sexual connotations of the phrase “making out” seem to have evolved in the 1930s and 1940s from the phrase’s other meaning: “to be successful”. Originally it meant “to seduce” or “to have intercourse.”[7]
“Petting” (“smooching” or foreplay) became popular in the 1920s as youth culture challenged the earlier Victorian era of sexuality[8] with the rising popularity of “petting parties”.[9] At these parties, promiscuity became more common, breaking with the traditions of monogamy or courting their expectations of eventual marriage.[10] This was typical of college campuses, where young people “spent a great deal of unsupervised time in mixed company.”[11][12][13]
In the 1950s, Life magazine called petting parties “that famous and shocking institution of the 1920s” and commented on the “Kinsey Report” that they had been “with us a great deal since.”[14] In the 1950 Kinsey Report there was an indication of an increase in premarital sex for the 1920s generation. Kinsey found that of women born before 1900, 14 percent admitted having had premarital sex before the age of 25, while those born after 1900 were two and a half times more likely (36 percent) to have had premarital sex and experienced orgasm.[15] The continental zeitgeist is amusingly illustrated by a letter Freud wrote to Sándor Ferenczi in 1931, playfully exhorting him to stop kissing his patients; Freud warned that “a number of independent thinkers on technology will say to themselves: why stop at a kiss? And then there will be braver ones who will go further, to the point of looking and pointing – and soon we will have assimilated the whole repertoire of demi-viergerie and petting parties into the technique of analysis.”[16]
In the post-war period, teasing and petting became an accepted behavior in mainstream American culture as long as the partners were together.[17] A 1956 study defined necking as “kissing and lightly stroking the neck” and petting as “more intimate contact with the erogenous zones without intercourse.”[18] Alfred Kinsey’s definition of petting was “deliberate touching of any part of the body above or below the waist,” as compared to teasing, which involved only general physical contact.[19]
Properties[ edit ]
Making out is usually viewed as an expression of romantic affection or sexual attraction. A make-out episode is often referred to as a “make-out session” or simply “make-out snogging,” depending on the slang of the speaker.[20] It covers a wide spectrum of sexual behavior[21] and means different things to different age groups in different parts of the United States.[1] It typically refers to kissing,[2] including prolonged, passionate, open-mouthed kissing (also known as French kissing) and intimate skin-to-skin contact.[1][2] The term can also refer to other forms of foreplay, such as B. Vigorous petting (sometimes simply called petting),[2][3] which typically involves some genital stimulation,[22] but usually not the direct act of penetrative intercourse.[2][3][23]
The perceived importance of the smooch can be influenced by the age and relative sexual experience of the participants. Teens sometimes play party games where the make out is the main activity as an act of exploration. Games in this category include Seven Minutes in Heaven and Spin the Bottle.[24]
Teenagers may have had social gatherings where the snogging was the predominant event. In the United States, these events were known as “make-out parties” and may have been limited to a specific area called the “make-out room”.[25] These smooch parties were not generally considered sex parties, although depending on the group, heavy petting may have occurred.
See also[edit]
How do you end a kissing scene?
- Build to the kiss to create romantic tension. …
- Pick a good scene location. …
- Throw a curveball. …
- Don’t get too mushy. …
- Try not to name too many feelings. …
- Use all your senses. …
- Leave your reader wanting more.
Coffee, Books, and the Blood of My Enemies — How To Write A Kiss Scene: An Illustrated Guide
Build up to the kiss to create romantic tension.
If your characters lock their lips, they definitely should – whether they’re aware of it or not. Any scene that precedes the kissing scene should build on the characters’ burgeoning desire for one another, and the more subtle the better. Ground your character’s reactions in the body (palpitations, stomach flutters, hyper-awareness of the other person’s presence) so your reader knows they want to kiss the romantic interest long before they do.
Pick a good location.
Perhaps your story lends itself naturally to the kiss that takes place in a specific place – writing a fantasy romance with a long journey? You’ll probably just have to kiss on the windswept mountain face—but if you can be flexible, try to change it up. Where is a place where both characters feel comfortable? How about uncomfortable? What about a place they can’t stay long – suspense! Or a place that’s just plain hilarious.
Throw a curve ball.
Likewise, there might be a reason why your characters can—or must—kiss! – who are not motivated by their own desires for each other. A school play, the need for a distraction, a challenge, a few too many beers… Start with a convoluted premise and let your emotions run wild. The suddenness of the kiss will shock the reader… and then please her.
Don’t get too mushy.
“Is that a kissing book?” Well, yes, but that doesn’t mean you have to get sticky with your language. Keep your prose lean and your adjectives to a minimum; Forget all those “clear puddles” and “soft as rose petals” and let your character’s authentic voice shine through. If they’re being sarcastic, let them be a little funny and ironic. If they are anxious, let them battle the onslaught of emotions. Temper romance with reality to keep it grounded and authentic.
Try not to name too many feelings.
Kissing is an overwhelming act of physical affection — so much so that people tend not to verbalize their feelings when doing it. A character won’t think, “I’m so happy!” “This must be love!” when she kisses this cutie for the first time, so don’t take that shortcut to wire the reader how she feels. Instead of this…
Use all your senses.
The great thing about kissing (erm) is that it involves so many physical sensations – touch, of course, but also (erm again) taste. But don’t limit yourself to the obvious: consider what your characters hear, what their kissing partner looks and smells like, and what’s generally going on around them. How does the air around her feel? The couch they’re sitting on? THE smell of the sweaty house party? Don’t edit the kissing scene with too many labels; Just take in every sensation you feel and transfer it to the page.
Make your reader want more.
The first kiss is not the time for everlasting promises. Even though this couple will get the happy ending they deserve, the first kiss isn’t the one when they find out. Ending your first kissing scene with a pledge of allegiance isn’t just too quick—it’s boring. Without the question of whether the couple will end up hanging in the air together, the romance loses all its tension. Writing a good romantic scene at this stage of the manuscript (unless the first kiss is literally the last scene or just before) means you’re giving your reader a reason to keep going – and the only way to do that is is to hold back the dissolution.
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How do you describe someone’s neck kiss?
The neck kiss is exactly what it sounds like — a kiss on the neck. It’s considered a kiss of passion, and shows that you’re really into the lucky person who receives it. Neck kisses are usually around the nape of the neck or right where the shoulders meet the neck. Honestly, anywhere on the neck feels amazing!
Coffee, Books, and the Blood of My Enemies — How To Write A Kiss Scene: An Illustrated Guide
What is a neck kiss?
The neck kiss is exactly what it sounds like – a kiss on the back of the neck. It’s considered the kiss of passion and shows that you’re really into the lucky person receiving it. Neck kisses are usually around the nape of the neck or right where the shoulders meet the nape of the neck. Honestly, it feels amazing all over the neck!
Just take it from the ladies — 96 percent of women love to be kissed on the neck! Aside from the mouth, it is a woman’s favorite place to be kissed. As for men? Only 10 percent prefer the neck, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try it! (Who knows, you might change your mind!)
So what makes the neck kiss so great? The main reason – it’s sexy! When someone starts a hot makeout by kissing your neck, it tingles in all the right places. It gets you down and you want more.
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The neck is also a super sensitive area. The back of your neck is packed with nerve endings, so the slightest touch can drive you insane. It builds anticipation for what’s next. If you’re the one giving the neck kiss, it can also be stimulating to see how your partner responds to it. (Usually a little heavy breathing!) You tease her in the best possible way.
However, the kiss on the neck does not always have to be passionate or pleasurable. It is also considered a romantic gesture for those in long-term relationships. For example, when you get home from work, surprising your partner with a sweet kiss on the back of the neck is the perfect way to say hello.
So, how do you perform the perfect neck kiss? We’ve got 7 tips to get you and your partner in the mood for whatever’s next (wink):
1. Start low
Start just above the shoulder and gently kiss down to the nape of the neck. You can even start with a gentle blow on your throat, which is guaranteed to give you the chills and racing heart.
2. Walk slowly
Slow and steady is the name of the game! There’s no need to approach it like a horny teenager. Go at a snail’s pace and give soft, small kisses while your lips slowly move to the nape of her neck. The slower you drive, the crazier they get!
3. Be gentle
The goal isn’t to leave a hickey, but to get her revved up and ready for more. Be as gentle as possible! Because the neck is so delicate, you can easily injure it if you bite too hard. A little nibble here and there is perfect, but don’t gnaw like a vampire.
4. Keep those lips moisturized
You don’t want your kisses to feel like sandpaper, do you? Lick those lips! You don’t want to kiss someone on the lips who is in dire need of lip balm, and the same goes for the neck.
5. Use some tongue
To really heat things up, alternate between soft kisses, little nibbles, and a bit of tongue. To really get a reaction, blow gently on the spots where your tongue has been. The coolness on their skin makes them weak in the knees!
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6. Switch position up
One of the best things about the neck kiss is that you can do it from almost any position. Stand behind her and kiss the side of her neck or have her lie on her back while you start your smooch on top with some gentle neck kisses.
7. Use it during intercourse
Because the neck kiss can be used in almost any position, it’s the perfect way to take sex up a notch! Whether missionary or from behind, you can sneak in some sensual neck kisses to take your lovemaking to a whole new level.
The neck kiss is popular for a reason! The sensitive areas along the neck create an exciting experience, making it the perfect way to get you both in the mood. Whether you choose soft kisses, soft nibbles, or a little tongue, it’s sure to arouse you and your partner and get you ready for some sexy action.
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How do you describe a French kiss?
But what specifically makes a kiss french is the tongue. It occurs when you’re kissing someone with your mouth open, and your tongues are involved in the action. So, next time someone says, “did you kiss with tongue?” you can respond by saying, “yup, we frenched.”
Coffee, Books, and the Blood of My Enemies — How To Write A Kiss Scene: An Illustrated Guide
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What is French kissing?
A kiss can be anything from a little kiss to a full blown make out session (depending on your definition). But what makes a kiss extra French is the tongue. It occurs when you kiss someone with your mouth open and your tongues are involved in the action. So the next time someone says, “Did you tongue kiss?” You can respond by saying, “Yup, we Frenched.”
Giphy
What is the history of French kissing?
The term French kissing is believed to have originated with Americans and English in the early 20th century. Back then, the French apparently had a reputation for being very adventurous and passionate when it came to having sex. So if you kissed passionately with your tongue, they said you were doing it like the French.
How do you French kiss?
The thought of touching someone’s tongue with your own tongue can be frightening. What if you push it in too hard? What do you do with it once it’s in? Don’t worry, french kissing honestly comes pretty naturally, and while it may take you a few rounds to get the hang of it, you’ll be a pro in no time. But just in case you want to take a short walk, here are some steps you should take.
Go for a kiss first and close your eyes. Part your lips slightly and maybe start by placing your lips so that they are almost on top of your partners
Then enjoy a light kissing and sucking for a moment. When you are ready to insert your tongue, do so slowly and gently. Maybe try touching her tongue and then wiggle it around a bit. Have fun with it. I once had a friend named Zoe who traced the letters of her name with her tongue when she French kissed her. There’s nothing specific you have to do with it, just what feels good and right.
Don’t stick your tongue in or use so much that you feel like a dog. Keep it soft and subtle. Make them want more.
Once you start French kissing more, you will start to realize certain things that you enjoy doing. You might want to tease your tongue a little before going full steam ahead. Or you like running your tongue over her lips. As with dancing, you can also follow your partner. See what they do and give it a try. If they use a lot of tongue, try tossing yours in there too. That being said, if they ever do something you don’t like or are uncomfortable with, let them know. You can French kiss all you want, but the most important factor is that it feels good.
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What kissing does to a man?
Kissing causes a chemical reaction in your brain, including a burst of the hormone oxytocin. It’s often referred to as the “love hormone,” because it stirs up feelings of affection and attachment. According to a 2013 study, oxytocin is particularly important in helping men bond with a partner and stay monogamous.
Coffee, Books, and the Blood of My Enemies — How To Write A Kiss Scene: An Illustrated Guide
Some kisses have their roots in bonding Kissing triggers a chemical reaction in your brain, including a burst of the hormone oxytocin. It is often referred to as the “love hormone” because it evokes feelings of affection and attachment. According to a 2013 study, oxytocin is particularly important in helping men bond with a partner and remain monogamous. Women experience a rush of oxytocin during childbirth and breastfeeding, which strengthens the mother-child bond. Speaking of feeding, many believe kissing originated from the practice of kiss-feeding. Much like birds feed worms to their little chicks, mothers used to—and some still do—feed their children their chewed food.
Some kisses are rooted in romantic love. Do you know how high you feel when you fall head over heels for a new love and spend time cuddling with her? This is the action of dopamine in your brain’s reward pathway. Dopamine is released when you do something that feels good, like kissing and spending time with someone you’re attracted to. This and other “happy hormones” make you dizzy and euphoric. The more of these hormones you get, the more your body wants them. For some, this might be more obvious early in a relationship—especially if you spend most of your time in a lip lock. If you can maintain a steady pace of kissing after that initial spark, you can continue to reap the benefits of these happy hormones. You may even have a more satisfying relationship. In a 2013 study, couples in long-term relationships who kissed frequently reported increased relationship satisfaction.
And some kisses are fueled by your sex drive. It’s no secret that some kisses are downright sex-driven and far from platonic. Older research shows that kissing is a way for women to assess a potential partner. It also plays an important part in their decision to hit the sheets. Female participants indicated that they were less likely to have sex with someone without first kissing. They also reported that how well someone kisses can make or break their partner’s chances of reaching third base. Men have also been shown to kiss to introduce sex hormones and proteins that make their partner more sexually receptive. Open mouths and French kissing are particularly effective at increasing sexual arousal as they increase the amount of saliva produced and exchanged. The more spit you trade, the more you get turned on.
Also, kissing (of any kind) just feels good. You can thank the many nerve endings in your lips for helping make kissing feel so good. Your lips have more nerve endings than any other part of your body. When you press them against another set of lips or even warm skin, it just feels good. Combine that with the chemical cocktail released when you kiss, and you have a recipe that’s sure to get you all the feelings. Along with oxytocin and dopamine, which make you feel affection and euphoria, kissing releases serotonin—another feel-good chemical. It also lowers cortisol levels, making you feel more relaxed and making for an all-around good time.
How do you write a romantic scene?
- Go deep into the character’s thoughts.
- Show their reactions—physical and verbal.
- Physical description—but use sensual words as much as possible (more about this later).
- Think about the proximity of the characters in relation to their level of intimacy. …
- Use all the senses.
Coffee, Books, and the Blood of My Enemies — How To Write A Kiss Scene: An Illustrated Guide
Many years ago I drove across the country with my husband and we listened to several audio books on the way. One of them was a spy thriller – a genre we like. There was action. Adventure. An alpha spy doing his super spy thing. And a love interest (or at least a sexual interest).
There was banter. There were sparks. And the aim of the story was for the reader to believe that this hero really cares about this woman.
Why?
Because the bad guys end up killing the woman, which makes the hero go off and “do his spy thing” with even greater intensity. Because he’s mad, right?
Of course he is… but it would have been so much more effective for the story if the sex scene wasn’t a sex scene.
It had to be a love scene.
We needed to feel the connection between these characters, and we didn’t. The hero might as well have slept with a plastic doll, despite all the feelings he seemed to have for her. And that meant the ultimate climax of the book — that urge to avenge her — stayed flat.
I’m not saying all this to discredit the author, but to make a couple of points. First of all, every writer needs to understand what makes a love scene compelling. Not just novelists. Second, Tab A/Slot B sex is boring (and often so bad it’s funny and tweeting).
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Are you ready to learn how to create emotionally driven love scenes? Let’s dive in.
It’s all about the characters in emotionally gripping love scenes
Love scenes are all about the characters…not just the sex.
Serious. When you’re writing a love scene, you have to worry less about the choreography and more about the characters—both inside and outside the bedroom. After all, how can it be an emotional experience for the reader if a) the characters themselves don’t feel those emotions and b) the author doesn’t bring those emotions to the page?
That means making sure there’s a connection between the characters before they even get into the bedroom. And please note that this also applies to bad sex. An attack. An awkward affair with an ex. What matters is what comes before the scene informs the scene.
I recently spoke to New York Times bestselling author Tracy Wolff about this (beware: her latest book, Crave, is due out in April 2020!) and she put it beautifully:
“Writing an emotionally compelling love scene is all about the connection between the characters. Whether it’s a kiss in a young adult novel or a very explicit erotic scene, the reader has to repay emotionally. And that payoff comes only when you’ve stoked the flames between your characters – not just sexual tension, although that’s hugely important, but also the emotional connection between the characters and the high stakes that should separate them.”
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New York Times bestselling author Carly Phillips agrees.
“A compelling love scene, even a one-night stand, needs to have an emotional component to keep a reader interested and invested.”
All of that is well and good, but how do you do it?
Honestly, it’s a lot like acting. Just don’t just play a role; you are everyone
You, the writer, need to find a way to “break” your characters. To get inside their head and convey their unique perspective on the world to your audience, the reader.
Sounds a bit overwhelming, but it’s the best thing about writing. You really need to know your characters to be sure where the story is going – because then the characters make the decisions, not you the puppeteer.
To do this, you’ll want to dig deep and use your own experiences to inform your characters’ decisions and emotions.
Your experiences probably won’t directly align with what your character is going through, but you can find an emotional nugget to build on.
So much sexual tension is awareness, physical and emotional. A slow burn, if you will, with characters noticing and reacting to one another at all levels.
What’s your opinion? Maybe you could think of your first crush in high school? How every little movement meant something, and if it happened to catch your eye across the room, it could make your heart pound wildly for hours.
The best love scenes tap into core emotions so just as much heat is generated before each completion, and when you finally get to the love scene the reader is just as distraught as the characters.
Increasing conflicts to build tension
Phillip’s book Dare Me Tonight illustrates this well. In this book, the heroine is younger than the hero and comes from a dysfunctional family. The man she first sleeps with at twenty-four is in business with the heroine’s brother, so the two must keep their night together a secret.
Notice how the heroine’s emotional state – desire mixed with trepidation at her first time, longing for the hero, frustration at the secret she must keep – all help to keep not only the excitement but the reader’s interest to maintain.
In addition, this scene – as any scene in a book should – drives the story forward. In this case, by aggravating the conflict.
This back and forth between what she wants and what she ultimately can’t have. She wants a hero. The right man. But given the parameters they set, how can this man be the right one?
Abstract:
“She hadn’t been prepared for such an intensity, although she should have been. Everything about Ethan Knight was strong. Tonight had the power to change her world, except, as he had reminded her, it was one night. A Night That Should Never Do She’d ignored the dagger she’d experienced when he’d been banished to his dirty secret and told herself she understood. Sometimes there were reasons for discretion, and there for him to come along with everything at stake at Miami Thunder Stadium, his request made perfect sense. Even if it digged at the pieces of her heart she’d glued together over the years.
Internal monologue vs. external dialogue
Here’s another wonderful illustration from Wolff’s book Ruined, featuring two damaged characters who are almost impossible to trust.
“My body lights up like New Year’s Eve, my fear mingling with his anger, my excitement mingling with his desire. And I know – I know – that there’s no longer any reason to fight it. Because this is ethane. He might have torn my heart to pieces, but he still holds me like I’m the most precious thing in his world.”
These scenes work so well because we already know the characters at this point. Despite this, both authors remind us of the core themes of the heroines. Not because the author tells us so, but because the heroine does.
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But please don’t think I’m saying you can’t write an emotionally compelling love scene in chapter one or as a one night stand five minutes after meeting the characters. Of course you can. But I’m saying you still need to set up these characters so we know what’s at stake for them and why they’re so immersed. We have to look into the characters. Otherwise it’s just choreography.
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As you have probably noticed, in the examples above, the heroine “speaks” to us through her inner monologue. But even the actual conversation can do a lot to elucidate the connection between the characters.
As bestselling author Darcy Burke says:
“I write Regency historical romances and often the heroine has either little or no sexual experience. When they first (and even after) get together, the conversation between them can be both informative and arousing, and it absolutely builds the relationship between the characters.”
Check out this excerpt from Burke’s A Duke Is Never Enough, which shows how dialogue can strengthen relationships and add warmth to the scene.
He kissed her cheek, her chin, her ear. “Tell me how you feel.” “I can’t explain it.” Her words were breathless. “Where you touch me… it’s like you’re starting a fire. The flames are there, but I have to catch them.” He grinned. “Let’s see if I can stir it up.”
Make a connection between characters
So we need the connection… how do we make it?
Good question, and again it comes down to knowing your characters. But there are also some techniques you can use to externally reveal what’s going on inside your characters.
It probably goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway.
You have to start with attraction.
Even in a tale of enemies to lovers there is attraction. Maybe it’s physical. Maybe it was even born out of revenge, but something draws these two people together. We’re talking attraction like in your old high school science class — something in these characters that talks to each other and draws them together.
And these are traits that your characters find attractive at the deepest level. That doesn’t mean drooling over six-pack abs or going ga-ga for women in a tight skirt.
Maybe it’s his smile – it’s delicate and sweet with a hint of amusement. Or the way she looks at everyone so directly without ever batting an eyelid. Maybe they’re in a supermarket and she’s arguing with the clerk. She feels like no one is on her side when this sweaty runner, who she wouldn’t normally have noticed, walks in to solve the mystery, and she sees a goodness at its core. He may be her business enemy, but while he’s the bane of her existence, he’s competent and fierce, and exudes all those qualities. A warrior at its core. Not what she told herself, but you can’t hide from your ultimate desire.
So there will be an awareness at that first meeting, but that awareness will change as the story progresses, just like it changes in any relationship – and you as the writer need to show those changes through the emotional responses and also the physical interactions between the characters.
How you do that? Well, you have to get close enough to the characters to see what they see and feel what they feel. Like I said above, it’s like acting. But here I will tell you about the techniques I have mentioned.
Show a connection between characters
1. Go deep into the character’s mind.
2. Show their reactions – physically and verbally.
3. Physical description – but use sensual words as much as possible (more on that later).
4. Consider the closeness of the characters in terms of their intimacy.
Desmond Morris, author of The Naked Ape, describes these stages of intimacy:
awareness of presence
eye level
verbal
from hand to hand
arm to shoulder
arm to waist
mouth to mouth
hand to the head
hand to body
Etc…
As a general rule, most people internalize these stages and don’t plan these steps when they write because they are in character. But if something feels wrong, go back and see if you skipped or rearranged a step. You may find that following the path increases the intensity of your scene.
5. Use all your senses.
Remember, sensuality comes from your senses. Practical… and linguistic!
See: what they see, what that sight evokes, how they react. Pay attention to the words used to describe it. Not just red lips and tanned skin. But lips that reminded him of strawberries and sun-kissed skin that he imagined had absolutely no tan lines.
: what they see, what this sight evokes, how they react. Pay attention to the words used to describe it. Not just red lips and tanned skin. But lips that reminded him of strawberries and sun-kissed skin that he imagined had absolutely no tan lines. Taste : the food, its skin, etc.
Sounds: music, wind, the melody of voices, of words
Touch: the feeling of his skin touching it (and the reaction!!)
Smell: perfume, food (remember, scents can enhance eroticism)
Here is an example from my novel Release Me that illustrates some of the points above.
This is a few moments after they met; At this point, she has already physically described him to the reader:
He steps back and looks me up and down with slow deliberation (noting his confidence and personality). His inspection seems to take hours when it only has to take seconds. The air between us crackles and I want to walk towards him to close the gap between us again. (Awareness of Presence) But I remain rooted in place. (Reaction, informs her character) He lingers on my lips for a moment before finally lifting his head to meet my gaze and then I move. (eye to eye) I can’t help it. I’m drawn to the power and pressure of the storm building in those damn eyes. (Reaction)
The choice of the place of a romantic scene
Pay attention to the locations of your scenes. Surroundings can inform a budding love scene almost as much as a caress.
For example, the setting can reinforce a theme or character trait. In this excerpt from Wanted, the heroine feels suffocated. She wants to “fly” into the world. She wants to let go. In this scene, the hero finds her looking out of a skyscraper window. At this point there is nothing between them but an intense attraction that they both fight because he promised her uncle that he will stay far away from her. The scene clarifies her attraction and subtly shows how much the hero understands her. And how much she wants to surrender to him. To fly.
Abstract:
“It’s not a weakness to want to let go,” he said. “Wanting the thrill of taking a risk. The pleasure of feeling the rush.” I blinked. “How did you…” “Shhh.” His smile was slow and easy, revealing a rarely seen dimple in his cheek. “You need it. You’ve been locked up all night and gone insane. Locked up in your grief. Come on now. Close your eyes and turn around.” “But I…” That finger rose and pressed gently to my lips. “Don’t argue. Just do it.” Unquestioning obedience isn’t normally my practice, but to my surprise, I’ve complied. I closed my eyes, letting the darkness take over me, and then moved so I was looking at the glass again. If I had opened my eyes I would have seen the night sky spread out far in front of me. Instead, all I saw was Evan, larger than life in my head.
The setting can also be enhanced with contrast (a hot kiss in a stinky alley; a romantic ride on a Ferris wheel on a freezing night when she forgot a sweater). It can even be a catalyst for a character’s reflection.
Creating connection… but also conflict
Have you noticed that there are conflicts in most of the examples?
Conflict between the characters or internal conflict where the character is essentially fighting with himself. That’s because conflict is another key component of a compelling love scene.
Because as long as your story is not over, there is still something that separates these two people.
And it will be revealed through intimacy. Conflict can feed sexual attraction – characters pull apart even as chemistry/attraction pulls them together.
Conflict also allows us to maintain sexual tension even after the characters have made love (or gotten damn close). So unless you write a very sweet romance where the only love scene is the climax of the book, you can continue this tension between the characters even after the lovemaking.
Start with conflicts that separate the characters – in “Release Me” the heroine Nikki is an editor. At first she doesn’t want Damien to see her scars, yet she’s very fond of seduction. So there’s an internal push/pull with her, but ultimately the fact that she’s damaged wins… until it’s not.
Later on, it’s his understanding and acceptance that makes the love scene so much sweeter.
But that’s not the end of the book; not even close… so we need more conflict and the story changes.
Now it’s about Damien’s conflict.
In other words, you can resolve some of the conflict that goes into a love scene… but you then have to bring conflict back into the mix if you want to keep the suspense high and the reader turning the pages – and you do!
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Focusing on the sensuality of your language outside of a sex scene also increases the heat and sexual tension, paving the way for an even more compelling love scene.
Why? Because your book is part of a relationship with your readers. You want to annoy them as much as you want the characters to annoy each other. It’s a bit of a foreplay with the readers before it gets to the actual love scene.
So think about the words you use. Are they impressive? Beautiful words that caress the senses or harsher words that talk about the characters?
As much as possible they should be…but not in a way that makes your prose seem pretentious or closely related to a thesaurus. You don’t want to sound like an overbearing catalog of adjectives. And the way to do THAT is to tie it to the characters.
Joining the pieces in a love scene
I said above that love scenes aren’t just about the choreography between characters. In fact, one of the hottest and most emotionally revealing scenes I’ve written is the character’s first sexual encounter in Release Me… and the hero isn’t even there. He’s on the other end of a phone line while she’s in a limousine. And the scene is not only searing but reveals so much character about the hero and heroine.
And the only reason the scene works is because there was so much back and forth between the hero and heroine in the early chapters of the book.
My limousine example is one of the reasons I can confidently say that Tab A/Slot B choreography ranks very low on the list of what makes a scene emotionally compelling. Ultimately, you want to make sure all the different body parts are where they’re supposed to be and nobody has an extra arm, but before you get there you need to make sure the deeper elements of the love scene are addressed.
Dialogue: How much are these characters willing to share with each other at this point in the story, and how comfortably do they communicate?
How much are these characters willing to share with each other at this point in the story, and how comfortably do they communicate? Internal Reactions: How do they both feel when making love and how does it change their perception of their world and their partner?
How do they both feel when making love and how does it change their perception of their world and their partner? Physical Reactions: These can be more detailed depending on the type of story you’re writing (more detailed = more steam). It’s about showing how comfortable (or not) the characters are with each other and how they respond to their lover’s touch so the reader doesn’t get lost in the enactment.
Writing a love scene: putting it on paper
So we went through the components. How do you actually get that down on paper? That’s a trickier question than it seems. The obvious answer is that you write it, but it’s not quite that simple.
Writing physically or emotionally intense scenes (action scenes, fight scenes, love scenes) can be exhausting.
Working to make the scene as intense and rich as possible can be a lot more tiring than other elements of writing a book.
When I started writing, I had to go straight through and edit everything, from the first word to the very last punctuation mark. Every day I read what came before and edited it. When I finished the book it was pretty much ready to go to my editor.
Well, I still tend to write that way… with one exception. love scenes.
I discovered early in my career that I would end up spending a whole day doing a love scene at the expense of story progression. But now I’m finding that the “push through” process just doesn’t work for me.
What I do instead is yada yada, the sex. For those of you who didn’t see that particular Seinfeld episode, I’ll hit the high notes of the scene and then move on. I’ll add quick notes to the emotional beats and physical choreography myself so I’ll remember what was on my mind when I come back. But I’ll pull through. Very coarse. Very unpolished. Very minimal.
The next day I come back and edit it while layering more as I go. And as I do that, I think about the needs and motivations of the characters. I think about conflicts. I think about the attitude. I think about my choice of words. And yes, I am thinking of choreography. And the scene grows.
And the next day I repeat the process, adding text and cleaning up previous words. And the scene gets even better.
Sometimes I fly through the scene on the second day. But usually it takes several passes. Either way, ultimately the scene is richer for the process. It’s a bit like blocking out a play and then adding the actor’s little nuances and character interpretations.
Then when I type “The End” I have a compelling love scene that is emotionally rich and moves the story forward. Obviously the process isn’t the same for everyone, but if you’re still looking for ways to make your love scenes emotionally richer and more satisfying, I hope you’ve found something useful in this article!
How do you end a kissing scene?
- Build to the kiss to create romantic tension. …
- Pick a good scene location. …
- Throw a curveball. …
- Don’t get too mushy. …
- Try not to name too many feelings. …
- Use all your senses. …
- Leave your reader wanting more.
Coffee, Books, and the Blood of My Enemies — How To Write A Kiss Scene: An Illustrated Guide
Build up to the kiss to create romantic tension.
If your characters lock their lips, they definitely should – whether they’re aware of it or not. Any scene that precedes the kissing scene should build on the characters’ burgeoning desire for one another, and the more subtle the better. Ground your character’s reactions in the body (palpitations, stomach flutters, hyper-awareness of the other person’s presence) so your reader knows they want to kiss the romantic interest long before they do.
Pick a good location.
Perhaps your story lends itself naturally to the kiss that takes place in a specific place – writing a fantasy romance with a long journey? You’ll probably just have to kiss on the windswept mountain face—but if you can be flexible, try to change it up. Where is a place where both characters feel comfortable? How about uncomfortable? What about a place they can’t stay long – suspense! Or a place that’s just plain hilarious.
Throw a curve ball.
Likewise, there might be a reason why your characters can—or must—kiss! – who are not motivated by their own desires for each other. A school play, the need for a distraction, a challenge, a few too many beers… Start with a convoluted premise and let your emotions run wild. The suddenness of the kiss will shock the reader… and then please her.
Don’t get too mushy.
“Is that a kissing book?” Well, yes, but that doesn’t mean you have to get sticky with your language. Keep your prose lean and your adjectives to a minimum; Forget all those “clear puddles” and “soft as rose petals” and let your character’s authentic voice shine through. If they’re being sarcastic, let them be a little funny and ironic. If they are anxious, let them battle the onslaught of emotions. Temper romance with reality to keep it grounded and authentic.
Try not to name too many feelings.
Kissing is an overwhelming act of physical affection — so much so that people tend not to verbalize their feelings when doing it. A character won’t think, “I’m so happy!” “This must be love!” when she kisses this cutie for the first time, so don’t take that shortcut to wire the reader how she feels. Instead of this…
Use all your senses.
The great thing about kissing (erm) is that it involves so many physical sensations – touch, of course, but also (erm again) taste. But don’t limit yourself to the obvious: consider what your characters hear, what their kissing partner looks and smells like, and what’s generally going on around them. How does the air around her feel? The couch they’re sitting on? THE smell of the sweaty house party? Don’t edit the kissing scene with too many labels; Just take in every sensation you feel and transfer it to the page.
Make your reader want more.
The first kiss is not the time for everlasting promises. Even though this couple will get the happy ending they deserve, the first kiss isn’t the one when they find out. Ending your first kissing scene with a pledge of allegiance isn’t just too quick—it’s boring. Without the question of whether the couple will end up hanging in the air together, the romance loses all its tension. Writing a good romantic scene at this stage of the manuscript (unless the first kiss is literally the last scene or just before) means you’re giving your reader a reason to keep going – and the only way to do that is is to hold back the dissolution.
Get our ultimate novel revision checklist and make sure your revision doesn’t leave anything out, from plot to character to proofreading.
How do you describe someone’s neck kiss?
The neck kiss is exactly what it sounds like — a kiss on the neck. It’s considered a kiss of passion, and shows that you’re really into the lucky person who receives it. Neck kisses are usually around the nape of the neck or right where the shoulders meet the neck. Honestly, anywhere on the neck feels amazing!
Coffee, Books, and the Blood of My Enemies — How To Write A Kiss Scene: An Illustrated Guide
What is a neck kiss?
The neck kiss is exactly what it sounds like – a kiss on the back of the neck. It’s considered the kiss of passion and shows that you’re really into the lucky person receiving it. Neck kisses are usually around the nape of the neck or right where the shoulders meet the nape of the neck. Honestly, it feels amazing all over the neck!
Just take it from the ladies — 96 percent of women love to be kissed on the neck! Aside from the mouth, it is a woman’s favorite place to be kissed. As for men? Only 10 percent prefer the neck, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try it! (Who knows, you might change your mind!)
So what makes the neck kiss so great? The main reason – it’s sexy! When someone starts a hot makeout by kissing your neck, it tingles in all the right places. It gets you down and you want more.
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The neck is also a super sensitive area. The back of your neck is packed with nerve endings, so the slightest touch can drive you insane. It builds anticipation for what’s next. If you’re the one giving the neck kiss, it can also be stimulating to see how your partner responds to it. (Usually a little heavy breathing!) You tease her in the best possible way.
However, the kiss on the neck does not always have to be passionate or pleasurable. It is also considered a romantic gesture for those in long-term relationships. For example, when you get home from work, surprising your partner with a sweet kiss on the back of the neck is the perfect way to say hello.
So, how do you perform the perfect neck kiss? We’ve got 7 tips to get you and your partner in the mood for whatever’s next (wink):
1. Start low
Start just above the shoulder and gently kiss down to the nape of the neck. You can even start with a gentle blow on your throat, which is guaranteed to give you the chills and racing heart.
2. Walk slowly
Slow and steady is the name of the game! There’s no need to approach it like a horny teenager. Go at a snail’s pace and give soft, small kisses while your lips slowly move to the nape of her neck. The slower you drive, the crazier they get!
3. Be gentle
The goal isn’t to leave a hickey, but to get her revved up and ready for more. Be as gentle as possible! Because the neck is so delicate, you can easily injure it if you bite too hard. A little nibble here and there is perfect, but don’t gnaw like a vampire.
4. Keep those lips moisturized
You don’t want your kisses to feel like sandpaper, do you? Lick those lips! You don’t want to kiss someone on the lips who is in dire need of lip balm, and the same goes for the neck.
5. Use some tongue
To really heat things up, alternate between soft kisses, little nibbles, and a bit of tongue. To really get a reaction, blow gently on the spots where your tongue has been. The coolness on their skin makes them weak in the knees!
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6. Switch position up
One of the best things about the neck kiss is that you can do it from almost any position. Stand behind her and kiss the side of her neck or have her lie on her back while you start your smooch on top with some gentle neck kisses.
7. Use it during intercourse
Because the neck kiss can be used in almost any position, it’s the perfect way to take sex up a notch! Whether missionary or from behind, you can sneak in some sensual neck kisses to take your lovemaking to a whole new level.
The neck kiss is popular for a reason! The sensitive areas along the neck create an exciting experience, making it the perfect way to get you both in the mood. Whether you choose soft kisses, soft nibbles, or a little tongue, it’s sure to arouse you and your partner and get you ready for some sexy action.
Are you ready to make your bedroom fun even better? Pleasure can help! Download our relationship coaching app and you and your partner can get insights, quizzes and advice from a real relationship expert, tailored to your specific needs. Try your first 7 days for free!
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See some more details on the topic kissing writing masterpost tumblr here:
How To Write A Kiss Scene: An Illustrated Guide
My advice with kissing scenes is to focus predominantly on lips, and maybe add a little tongue as an afterthought. Like so: “His lips were warm …
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Date Published: 6/10/2022
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#writing kisses on Tumblr
Write what your characters feel when they kiss! A lot of novels will begin describing the physical contact of the kiss with sentence starters like, “their lips …
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Date Published: 2/25/2022
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How to write a kiss scene – You need some prompts?
What goes into the writing of a kiss scene? details to incorporate: the sensations in their stomach, their chest, and their knees …
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Date Published: 10/26/2022
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How To Write A Kiss Scene: An Illustrated Guide
thecaffeinebookwarrior, a blog on Tumblr. Never miss a post from thecaffeinebookwarrior. Make gifs, find your community. Only in the app. Get …
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Date Published: 4/3/2022
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I Love You 3000 — Kiss Prompts Masterpost – winteriron-trash
Kiss prompts are officially closed! Yes, I know, very sad, but as I promised, here’s a master list of all the ones I wrote in case you …
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Date Published: 4/5/2021
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How to write a story? – Silver Moon Crystal Power Kiss! – Tumblr
Masterpost: How to write a story? creativepromptsforwriting: “Compilation of writing advice for some aspects of the writing process.
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Date Published: 3/2/2021
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aschenputtel. — How to write a kiss – Tumblr baskervillelily
Valentine Edition • How to write a kiss (1) • NaNoWriMo Expert: How To… … writing ref masterpost · 23,788 notes. 23,788 notes.
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Writing Questions Answered — Tips on writing a kissing scene?
Kissing Scene Tips. 1) Don’t neglect the lead up. I think one of the most important tips I’ve ever seen for writing kissing scenes …
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Date Published: 8/20/2021
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Steamy yet Sophisticated: How to Write the Perfect Kissing Scene
One of the hardest scenes to write is a kissing scene, or really any scene that gets hot and intense.
Writers worry about being too obscene (will my mom read this?) or worse, not being vulgar enough (no one wants to be called a prude).
Humans are private creatures when it comes to lust, and illustrating an intimate scene can still make the most experienced writer nervous.
The perfect kissing scene sits right between those two adjectives in the title – steamy and sophisticated – as it’s the balance between shy and rough that can create a beautiful scene.
To create the perfect kissing scene, it’s important to look back at the work of others to see what’s working. I’ll give you two examples and explain why both work.
Wait a second:
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Break your obsession with kissing and dive headfirst into the best guide to novel writing.
You will not regret it.
Dolphin-Slippery Kissing in Sophie’s Choice
Considered by many to be William Styron’s magnum opus, this story chronicles the friendship between a young Southern writer and a Polish Auschwitz survivor. In this scene, the young writer, affectionately known as Stingo, looks at a painting next to a young Jewish girl named Leslie.
“In the shadows her face was so close to mine I could smell the sweet scent of the sherry she had been drinking and then her tongue was in my mouth. In truth, I had not invited this prodigy of the tongue; Turning, I had only wanted to look at her face, only expecting that the expression of aesthetic delight I might find there would match what I knew was my own. But I didn’t even catch a glimpse of her face, so instant and insistent was that tongue. Plunging into my gaping maw like a writhing sea figure, it overwhelmed my senses as it sought an unreachable terminus near my uvula; it wobbled, it pulsed and made contorted movements across the arch of my mouth: I’m sure it was turned upside down at least once. Dolphin slippery, less wet than deliciously slimy and flavored with amontillado, it had the power to force me against a doorpost or somehow bring me back, where I lolled helplessly, eyes clenched in a tongue trance.”
In this selection, Styron’s masterful description keeps the reader glued to the page for every vertebra of young Leslie’s tongue. So let’s analyze what exactly worked…
Styron uses the element of surprise to initiate this kissing scene. The main character is still describing Ms. Leslie’s smell when she startles him with a kiss. By abruptly starting the kiss mid-sentence, Styron is able to catch his readers off guard. This helps the reader experience the shock of an unexpected kiss.
Another use of Styron’s unpredictable writing style focuses on the metaphors and similes that surprise the reader with their effectiveness.
Who would have guessed that describing a tongue as a “squirming sea shape” trying to wriggle out of the back of the head would actually work? Or that, to follow the nautical theme, Styron would be able to make it sound natural when depicting a tongue as “dolphin slippery”?
Yet these depictions are such colorful, unconventional ways of describing the act of kissing that they actually work, despite their less than arousing sound.
Let’s take a look at another iconic kissing scene.
Star Strruck Kissing in The Great Gatsby
In The Great Gatsby, Fitzgerald’s tale of rich Jay Gatsby’s tragic love affair with the already married Daisy Buchanan, this scene depicts a kiss between the two on a cool moonlit night.
“His heart was beating faster and faster as Daisy’s white face approached his own. He knew that if he kissed that girl and bound his unspeakable visions forever to her ephemeral breath, his spirit would never rage like the Spirit of God again. So he waited and listened a moment longer to the tuning fork that had been struck on a star. Then he kissed her. At the touch of his lips she blossomed like a flower and the incarnation was complete.”
What makes this scene so compelling is the stark and bizarre analogy Fitzgerald uses to describe the moment. A tuning fork hitting a star? This is absolutely unique.
But remember that most of this kissing scene is the anticipation of the kiss. This is what writers tend to forget. They go straight to the physical action, forgetting that literary foreplay is the bulk of the fun.
His figurative language in the second movement makes the process of leaning on that kiss almost metaphysical as the speaker explains how that kiss will act as a therapeutic act to heal any fears that plagued his mind.
With Fitzgerald, a kiss is never just a kiss.
It can be a healing, a revelation, a catastrophe, a transformation.
Kiss & Tell: 7 takeaways from these kisses
So what did we learn from analyzing these two scenes side-by-side?
Metaphors are key. Spend some time describing what is happening in simple language, but don’t be afraid to use weird and unusual metaphors for a kissing scene.
Build maximum tension before the kiss begins. No rush. Only bad writers treat a kissing scene as just the physical action between two pairs of lips. A real kissing scene is the tension between two people before the kiss, the psychology during the kiss, and the reactions afterwards.
Pay attention to the psychology. A kissing scene isn’t just about the physical act of kissing. It’s really about the relationship between these two characters. What do you think? What do they really want (and it’s not always sex. It could be a connection, it could avoid the feeling of loneliness).
Treat the act of kissing as a whole narrative with a beginning, a rising plot, and a climax. There’s the early sexual tension, the physical meeting of lips, and the climax can come either in the character’s thoughts about the kiss or in what they do after they break up (like the flash in Jane’s example eyes below). ).
Let your kissing scene be a revelation. In both Gatsby and the Siddhartha example below, the act of kissing becomes something more: it becomes a kind of revelation, an epiphany. Don’t be afraid that your kissing scene will lead your character to a profound realization.
Think about the experiences of your two characters. Does one enjoy it and the other hate it? Does one think too much and is the other carried away by passion?
Let the kisser be an unreliable narrator In the Lolita example below is an example of a kissing scene where you don’t trust the person describing the kiss. In Humbert Humbert’s version of the kiss, 12-year-old Lolita is the instigator of the kiss. But can we really trust his version of events?
ALARM:
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5 bonus kissing scenes
Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
Before she could withdraw her spirit from its far places, his arms were as secure and hard around her as they were on the dark road to Tara so long ago. She felt the rush of helplessness again, the sinking yielding, the surging tide of warmth that left her limp. And the calm face of Ashley Wilkes was blurred and drowned out. He bent her head back over his arm and kissed her, first gently and then with a rapid gradation of intensity that made her cling to him as the only solid thing in a dizzying, swaying world. His insistent mouth parted her trembling lips, sending wild tremors through her nerves and making her feel sensations she had never known she could feel. And before a dizzy spell spun her around, she knew she was kissing him back.
Siddhartha, by Hermann Hesse
She drew him to her with her eyes, he tilted his face to hers and placed his mouth on her mouth, which was like a freshly split fig. He kissed Kamala for a long time, and Siddhartha was filled with deep astonishment when she taught him how wise she was, how she controlled him, deterred him, lured him back … everyone different from the other, still waiting for him. Taking a deep breath, he stopped and at that moment was amazed like a child at the wealth of knowledge and things worth knowing that opened up before his eyes.
Middlesex, by Jeffrey Eugenides
The rims of Clementine’s eyes were sore. she yawned. She rubbed her nose with the heel of her hand. And then she asked, “Do you want to practice kissing?”
I didn’t know what to answer. I already knew how to kiss, didn’t I? Was there anything else to learn? But while I was pondering these questions, Clementine continued with the lesson. She came around to look at me. She put her arms around my neck with a serious expression.
I don’t have the necessary special effects, but I want you to imagine Clementine’s white face drawing close to mine, her sleepy eyes closing, her medicinally sweet lips curling, and all the other sounds of the world stopped – the rustle of our clothes , her mother counting leg raises below, the plane outside drawing an exclamation mark in the sky—all silent as Clementine’s highly educated eight-year-old lips met mine.
And then, somewhere below, my heart reacts.
Not exactly a hit. Not even a jump. But a kind of murmur, like a frog emerging from a muddy shore. My heart, this amphibian, moves between two elements at this moment: first, excitement; the other fear. I tried to pay attention. I tried to maintain my end of things. But Clementine was way ahead of me. She turned her head from side to side like actresses did in movies. I started to do the same, but out of the corner of her mouth she scolded, “You’re the man.” So I stopped. I stood stiffly with my arms at my sides. Finally, Clementine broke the kiss. She looked at me blankly for a moment, then replied, “Not bad for your first time.”
Lolita, by Vladimir Nabokov
As soon as the car came to a stop, Lolita literally flowed into my arms. Not daring, not daring to let me go – not even daring to let me realize that this (sweet wetness and trembling fire) was the beginning of the unspeakable life I, with the cunning help of fate, I had finally wanted to be – not daring, actually kissing her I touched her hot parting lips with utter devotion, tiny sips, nothing lewd; but she pressed her mouth against mine with an impatient fidgeting so hard that I felt her large front teeth and shared the minty taste of her saliva. I knew, of course, that it was just an innocent game on her part, a bit of chick stupidity along the lines of some fake romance simulacrum, and there (as both the psychotherapist and the rapist will tell you) the limits and the rules of such girly games are fluent, or at least too childishly subtle for the elderly woman to comprehend – I was terrified I would go too far and make her recoil in disgust and terror.
Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte
The rain fell down. He rushed me up the path, through the grounds, and into the house; but we were quite wet before we could cross the threshold. He was taking off my scarf in the hallway and shaking the water out of my loose hair when Mrs. Fairfax came out of her room. I didn’t watch her at first, neither did Mr. Rochester. The lamp was lit. The clock struck twelve.
“Hurry to take off your wet clothes,” he said; “And before you go, good night – good night, my darling!”
He kissed me repeatedly. Looking up as I left his arms, the widow stood pale, grave, and amazed. I just smiled at her and ran upstairs. “An explanation will suffice another time,” I thought. By the time I reached my room, however, I felt a pang at the thought of her misunderstanding, even momentarily, what she had seen. But joy soon crowded out every other feeling; and loud as the wind blew, near and low as the thunder cracked, fierce and frequent as the lightning shone, cataract-like as the rain fell during a two-hour storm, I felt no fear and little awe. Mr. Rochester came to my door three times to ask if I was safe and quiet: and that was comfort, that was strength for all.
Before I left my bed in the morning, little Adele ran in to tell me that the big horse chestnut tree at the end of the orchard had been struck by lightning during the night and half of it had splintered off.
Let’s Fix Your Fics — How To Write A Kiss Scene: An Illustrated Guide
Asked anonymously:
Can you maybe make a post on the elements of a kissing scene?
Of course, and I’m sorry it’s taken so long – I have several post requests I’m working on and luckily I finally have some free time to answer them.
If you want my tips on writing a healthy romance or writing a killer sex scene, just click on the links here.
Here it goes for the time being!
1. Keep things low-key (especially when it comes to tongues.)
“Our tongues tangled and went to war in our locked mouths as they fought madly for supremacy.”
no OK? Just no. The thought of my tongue “tangling” with someone else’s is an image I’d really rather not see, but I’ve seen it and countless variants in both published literature and fiction.
Similarly, ask anyone who has ever had an uninvited tongue stuck down their throat: It is not pleasant, and readers should not be fooled into believing so.
My advice for kissing scenes is to focus mostly on the lips and maybe add a little bit of tongue. So:
“His lips were warm and soft. They parted easily and let my tongue slip inside.”
If you want something more passionate:
“Our bodies pressed against the wall, heated, breathing heavily as our lips tightened. I could taste our breath together, feel the beat of our combined heartbeat as we fumbled to undress each other.”
You could even try “squeezing his tongue between parted lips in ticklish kitty licks,” which admittedly sounds a little awkward out of context, but isn’t nearly as wince as the image of being pinched like a tongue depressor.
Literally and metaphorically, mute your tongue.
2. Don’t get too floral on the taste.
“Her lips tasted like peaches and honey.”
No, they do not have. And her pussy didn’t taste like coconut cream pie, either, or anything else your typical underperforming male author or teenage dirt-writer could dream up.
Unless she literally just ate peaches and honey or uses some fancy lube, her lips will taste like lips and her pussy will taste like pussy. Point.
Admittedly, it’s not very romantic, which is why I like to focus on other sensations besides the taste. For example:
“Her lips were soft, almost silky, and pressed against my own. I could feel the gentle tickle of her breath under my nose, fingers stroking her hair as we inhaled each other.”
I also occasionally have my characters eat or drink something beforehand just to add an extra layer of sensational play to the scene.
For example:
“His lips were still sweet from the milk and honey from his afternoon tea when Alexander kissed his husband goodbye.”
But my advice is to keep these cases short and sweet: nothing quite breaks the mood like a good dose of purple prose.
3. Focus on how the characters are feeling.
Here’s the thing: As I understand it, kissing someone you’re not into at the moment is uncomfortable.
You don’t know what to do with your hands, you’re conscious of everything your body is doing, and you’re really worried about how you might taste. You are also much more prone to noticing unseemly things about your partner like bad morning breath, bad skin, weird grunting breathing and so on.
The same goes for writing: too much physicality can make a kissing scene feel painfully awkward, while just like in real life, a good kiss is one where the best part is how your partner makes you feel.
Focus on how your POV character is feeling and add physical details here and there to make the scene feel grounded:
“Warmth spread through Luna’s chest, sparks igniting as Artemis leaned forward and tentatively brushed his lips together for the first time. The smell of her perfume, the soft, peachy scent of her conditioner, was dizzying, butterflies danced in her stomach. But warmth consumed her as she leaned into the kiss, Arty’s lips incredibly soft against her own.”
I find this approach much more effective than painstakingly describing each movement in detail.
Bonus: learn from the masters.
I’m not claiming to be the best expert at writing, kissing, or a combination of both.
So, without further ado, here are some of the best make out scenes in literature for your benefit and inspiration:
“It was like this. Almost the last thing I remember was standing with Daisy and watching the film director and his star. They were still under the white plum tree, their faces touching except for a pale, thin shaft of moonlight between them. It occurred to me that he had been leaning towards her very slowly all evening to achieve that closeness, and even as I watched I saw him lean down a final degree and kiss her on the cheek.”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
“I turned and found her face and her mouth was waiting like a question. I won’t portray it as something it wasn’t: it was perfect — Coley’s soft lips against the bite of the alcohol and the sugary cola still on our tongues. She did more than not stop me. She kissed me back.”
– Emily M. Danforth, The Cameron Post’s Education for Errors
“She drew him towards her with her eyes, he tilted his face to hers and put his mouth on her mouth, which was like a freshly split fig. He kissed Kamala for a long time, and Siddhartha was filled with deep astonishment when she taught him how wise she was, how she controlled him, deterred him, lured him back … everyone different from the other, still waiting for him. Taking a deep breath, he stopped and at that moment was amazed like a child at the wealth of knowledge and things worth knowing that opened up before his eyes.”
– Hermanne Hesse, Siddhartha
“Cath closed the book and dropped it onto Levi’s chest, not sure what happened next. Not sure if she was awake, all things considered. The moment it fell, he pulled her to him. On him. With both arms. Her chest pressed against his and the paperback slipped between their stomachs.
Cath’s eyes were half-closed, as were Levi’s, and his lips only looked small from a distance, she noted, because of their doll-like curl. They were really big now that she looked at them closely. Perfect something. He pressed his nose against hers and their mouths fell sleepily together, already soft and open. When Cath closed her eyes, her eyelids were sticky. She wanted to open it. She wanted to get a better look at Levi’s overly dark eyebrows, she wanted to admire his crazy, vampiric hairline – she had a feeling that that would never happen again and that it could even ruin what was left of her life if she chose open their eyes and bear witness.
But she was so tired. And his mouth was so soft. And nobody had ever kissed Cath like that before. Only Abel had kissed her before, and it was like being poked right in the mouth and pushed back.
Levi’s kisses took everyone. As if he were eliciting something from her with gentle little nudges on the chin. She put her fingers to his hair and couldn’t open her eyes.”
-Rainbow Rowell, fan girl
ROMEO
When I profane with my most unworthy hand
This sacred shrine, the gentle subtle, is this:
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, stand ready
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.
JULIA
Good pilgrim, you wrong your hand too much,
What mannerly devotion is shown in this;
For saints have hands that touch pilgrim hands,
And palm to palm is the kiss of the Sacred Palms.
ROMEO
Don’t you have holy lips and holy palms too?
JULIA
Yes, pilgrims, lips to use in prayer.
ROMEO
Oh then, dear saint, let the lips do what the hands do;
They pray, grant, lest faith turn to despair.
JULIA
Saints do not move but grant for the sake of prayer.
ROMEO
Then don’t move while I take the effect of my prayer.
So my sin is cleansed from my lips by yours.
JULIA
Then my lips have the sin they took.
ROMEO
sin from your lips? O transgression sweetly urged!
give me back my sin
JULIA
You kiss after the book.
– William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
I hope this helps, and happy writing! <3
Coffee, Books, and the Blood of My Enemies — How To Write A Kiss Scene: An Illustrated Guide
Asked anonymously:
Can you maybe make a post on the elements of a kissing scene?
Of course, and I’m sorry it’s taken so long – I have several post requests I’m working on and luckily I finally have some free time to answer them.
If you want my tips on writing a healthy romance or writing a killer sex scene, just click on the links here.
Here it goes for the time being!
1. Keep things low-key (especially when it comes to tongues.)
“Our tongues tangled and went to war in our locked mouths as they fought madly for supremacy.”
no OK? Just no. The thought of my tongue “tangling” with someone else’s is an image I’d really rather not see, but I’ve seen it and countless variants in both published literature and fiction.
Similarly, ask anyone who has ever had an uninvited tongue stuck down their throat: It is not pleasant, and readers should not be fooled into believing so.
My advice for kissing scenes is to focus mostly on the lips and maybe add a little bit of tongue. So:
“His lips were warm and soft. They parted easily and let my tongue slip inside.”
If you want something more passionate:
“Our bodies pressed against the wall, heated, breathing heavily as our lips tightened. I could taste our breath together, feel the beat of our combined heartbeat as we fumbled to undress each other.”
You could even try “squeezing his tongue between parted lips in ticklish kitty licks,” which admittedly sounds a little awkward out of context, but isn’t nearly as wince as the image of being pinched like a tongue depressor.
Literally and metaphorically, mute your tongue.
2. Don’t get too floral on the taste.
“Her lips tasted like peaches and honey.”
No, they do not have. And her pussy didn’t taste like coconut cream pie, either, or anything else your typical underperforming male author or teenage dirt-writer could dream up.
Unless she literally just ate peaches and honey or uses some fancy lube, her lips will taste like lips and her pussy will taste like pussy. Point.
Admittedly, it’s not very romantic, which is why I like to focus on other sensations besides the taste. For example:
“Her lips were soft, almost silky, and pressed against my own. I could feel the gentle tickle of her breath under my nose, fingers stroking her hair as we inhaled each other.”
I also occasionally have my characters eat or drink something beforehand just to add an extra layer of sensational play to the scene.
For example:
“His lips were still sweet from the milk and honey from his afternoon tea when Alexander kissed his husband goodbye.”
But my advice is to keep these cases short and sweet: nothing quite breaks the mood like a good dose of purple prose.
3. Focus on how the characters are feeling.
Here’s the thing: As I understand it, kissing someone you’re not into at the moment is uncomfortable.
You don’t know what to do with your hands, you’re conscious of everything your body is doing, and you’re really worried about how you might taste. You are also much more prone to noticing unseemly things about your partner like bad morning breath, bad skin, weird grunting breathing and so on.
The same goes for writing: too much physicality can make a kissing scene feel painfully awkward, while just like in real life, a good kiss is one where the best part is how your partner makes you feel.
Focus on how your POV character is feeling and add physical details here and there to make the scene feel grounded:
“Warmth spread through Luna’s chest, sparks igniting as Artemis leaned forward and tentatively brushed his lips together for the first time. The smell of her perfume, the soft, peachy scent of her conditioner, was dizzying, butterflies danced in her stomach. But warmth consumed her as she leaned into the kiss, Arty’s lips incredibly soft against her own.”
I find this approach much more effective than painstakingly describing each movement in detail.
Bonus: learn from the masters.
I’m not claiming to be the best expert at writing, kissing, or a combination of both.
So, without further ado, here are some of the best make out scenes in literature for your benefit and inspiration:
“It was like this. Almost the last thing I remember was standing with Daisy and watching the film director and his star. They were still under the white plum tree, their faces touching except for a pale, thin shaft of moonlight between them. It occurred to me that he had been leaning towards her very slowly all evening to achieve that closeness, and even as I watched I saw him lean down a final degree and kiss her on the cheek.”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
“I turned and found her face and her mouth was waiting like a question. I won’t portray it as something it wasn’t: it was perfect — Coley’s soft lips against the bite of the alcohol and the sugary cola still on our tongues. She did more than not stop me. She kissed me back.”
– Emily M. Danforth, The Cameron Post’s Education for Errors
“She drew him towards her with her eyes, he tilted his face to hers and put his mouth on her mouth, which was like a freshly split fig. He kissed Kamala for a long time, and Siddhartha was filled with deep astonishment when she taught him how wise she was, how she controlled him, deterred him, lured him back … everyone different from the other, still waiting for him. Taking a deep breath, he stopped and at that moment was amazed like a child at the wealth of knowledge and things worth knowing that opened up before his eyes.”
– Hermanne Hesse, Siddhartha
“Cath closed the book and dropped it onto Levi’s chest, not sure what happened next. Not sure if she was awake, all things considered. The moment it fell, he pulled her to him. On him. With both arms. Her chest pressed against his and the paperback slipped between their stomachs.
Cath’s eyes were half-closed, as were Levi’s, and his lips only looked small from a distance, she noted, because of their doll-like curl. They were really big now that she looked at them closely. Perfect something. He pressed his nose against hers and their mouths fell sleepily together, already soft and open. When Cath closed her eyes, her eyelids were sticky. She wanted to open it. She wanted to get a better look at Levi’s overly dark eyebrows, she wanted to admire his crazy, vampiric hairline – she had a feeling that that would never happen again and that it could even ruin what was left of her life if she chose open their eyes and bear witness.
But she was so tired. And his mouth was so soft. And nobody had ever kissed Cath like that before. Only Abel had kissed her before, and it was like being poked right in the mouth and pushed back.
Levi’s kisses took everyone. As if he were eliciting something from her with gentle little nudges on the chin. She put her fingers to his hair and couldn’t open her eyes.”
-Rainbow Rowell, fan girl
ROMEO
When I profane with my most unworthy hand
This sacred shrine, the gentle subtle, is this:
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, stand ready
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.
JULIA
Good pilgrim, you wrong your hand too much,
What mannerly devotion is shown in this;
For saints have hands that touch pilgrim hands,
And palm to palm is the kiss of the Sacred Palms.
ROMEO
Don’t you have holy lips and holy palms too?
JULIA
Yes, pilgrims, lips to use in prayer.
ROMEO
Oh then, dear saint, let the lips do what the hands do;
They pray, grant, lest faith turn to despair.
JULIA
Saints do not move but grant for the sake of prayer.
ROMEO
Then don’t move while I take the effect of my prayer.
So my sin is cleansed from my lips by yours.
JULIA
Then my lips have the sin they took.
ROMEO
sin from your lips? O transgression sweetly urged!
give me back my sin
JULIA
You kiss after the book.
– William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
I hope this helps, and happy writing! <3
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