Long Distance Ds Relationships? The 127 Detailed Answer

I am dating a boy who is a year older than me and starting college. We’ve known each other for four months, two months together.

But now that he’s going to another city for college, I’m wondering how it’s all going to play out.

He will only be an hour away, but I was a bit confused because it’s the city where his ex-girlfriend lives.

He was with her just before he started dating me.

I heard it didn’t work out because she wasn’t very nice. But I worry it might be because the relationship was long distance and too difficult to maintain.

I met his family – we even spent a day at the beach with them – and have been friends with his brother for a while.

We definitely seem to be connecting, but the relationship has been low-key. He never posted a prom photo with me, which I initially didn’t think was a big deal, but my friends think otherwise.

Does my relationship seem rocky or can it last the distance?

worries ahead

An hour’s drive or bus hour is not a “long distance”.

Even if he were studying in your city, he would be busy studying many nights a week and you could only get together on weekends.

But given the short distance, that shouldn’t be difficult too often.

They’re both young and it’s still a very early two-month relationship, although obviously it was an easy one involving his family.

Relax. Being “irritated” about your ex will only irritate you, which will not make your relationship comfortable.

If you show your concern, check on him, become suspicious, etc., you create a negative vibe between you.

Instead, be optimistic and encouraging about this new experience of beginning higher education. Be understanding when he gets overwhelmed with work assignments and settling in.

Most importantly, be positive – plan visits to him, make it easy for him to visit you, be open to meeting his new friends and classmates when possible, etc.

Not all early romances last at this stage. It’s natural considering your age on both sides.

But “worrying” with no evidence of anything wrong is a setup to push him away.

I’m a gay man who travels with most of my friends. One person I’m not after is a close friend who has asked me to sponsor one of her children as I have a great relationship with her children.

She has mentioned more than once that she accepts and is okay with gay people.

However, I never felt the need to reveal it to her.

But if I’m going to be their child’s godparent, I feel like I need to reveal that part of me, but I don’t want to.

Is this a situation where I need to disclose my sexuality or not?

hold back

Being a godparent is a relationship of trust and commitment.

You may never actually have to become a parent because of a major crisis…but it can be a possibility.

I’d be surprised if your “close friend” doesn’t actually know you’re gay and mentions your general acceptance to make you feel safe to reveal it to her.

What’s more interesting is why you “don’t want” that.

She obviously trusts you in this honorable position of responsibility. Don’t accept being a godparent unless you have confidence in her and are willing to commit to your child long-term.

Advice of the day

Don’t worry about a relationship based on fears you build when nothing goes wrong. Instead, be positive.

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How long long distance relationships really last?

Long distance relationships are tough. You meet, you fall in love, and you decide to try a relationship with the hopes of building a future together sometime in the future. But then new career opportunities or family commitments arise, and suddenly you’re thinking about the possibility of spending the next few months – or even years – apart.

It helps to know that long-distance relationships aren’t necessarily doomed to fail. The clinical psychologist Dr. Joshua Klapow told Elite Daily that while long-distance relationships can be difficult, they are absolutely doable. “Despite the challenges, there are successful long-distance relationships every day,” he said. “When there is a strong emotional bond, effort, and dedication to helping each partner feel secure, connected, and independent, long-distance relationships are realistic.”

Attitudes towards long-distance relationships also seem to be changing. According to data from dating site OKCupid, 46 percent of women and 45 percent of men are now open to the idea of ​​a long-distance relationship if it’s with the “right person,” as reported by Refinery29, and another survey found that 58 percent of Americans in long-term relationships are more likely to stay together (via Page Six).

Long distance relationships fail for a number of reasons. But there are ways to bypass most of them.

Long-distance relationships fail because couples don’t plan how long the distance will last and how to manage their relationship in the meantime. If your long-distance relationship lasts too long, your feelings will change and may fade. If you don’t know how to solve the problems, they will pile up and ruin your relationship.

Long distance relationships fail for many different reasons. In many cases, a lack of physical intimacy can be too much to bear. Sometimes it can be so simple that a couple decides that they are not a good match. But I wouldn’t say it’s a failure.

In this article, we take a look at the top reasons why long-distance relationships fail. We’ll see how a few basic things can make or break your relationship.

The #1 reason long distance relationships fail

While there are many reasons for your long distance relationship to end, there is only one reason for it to fail. Every healthy relationship needs a couple who communicate well and get along well.

Likewise, guilt, blame, shame, and ignorance are destructive to any relationship. And a long-distance relationship is no exception.

If you understand each other as a couple, then you would like to make an effort to make your relationship joyful and exciting.

If your circumstances change or you no longer feel attraction, it is best to end your relationship. And if you get along well but don’t feel the romance, you can remain friends.

In order to have a successful relationship, you need to understand each other. You must also be able to identify and fix the problems. You can achieve this with effective communication.

If you don’t know where to start, this workbook will guide you and your partner step by step to improve your communication.

What separates a long distance relationship from any other is the distance. If you’re starting a long-distance relationship, find out how distance is affecting your relationship.

A long-distance relationship is an imperfect romantic relationship, so don’t expect it to meet your needs for physical affection. This expectation is the number one reason long-distance relationships fail.

Since this is such an important aspect of a long-distance relationship, this guide is definitely worth reading.

While apart, expect your need for physical intimacy to go unmet. Without physical closeness, you may feel sad or frustrated. But at least you won’t feel lost and confused.

When you know the reason for your sadness or frustration, you can find a way to deal with it.

Do long-distance relationships always fail?

According to statistics, it is not very likely that you will succeed in your long-distance relationship. But the real reason long distance relationships fail are the same reasons you can’t make your relationship work.

Many couples approach a long-distance relationship the same way they approach a regular one. But a long distance relationship is not a full romantic relationship because most of the time you are separated from your romantic partner.

Being separated from your partner means you lack physical intimacy while living apart.

This means that you can have a long-distance relationship for a short period of time. However, in the long term, it can lead to sexual frustration, loneliness, anxiety, and depression.

Your long-distance relationship may begin because you met someone special while you were on vacation or maybe you met online. When you meet someone new, it’s a clean slate apart from a ton of luggage each of you carries around. Over time, you get to know that baggage, and that can make you love it or reject it.

Anyway, you’ve tried and hopefully you’ve enjoyed the journey of getting to know them. If not, here is an article on how to meet someone in a long distance relationship.

Your long-distance relationship is more likely to fail if you don’t deal with the baggage you bring to your relationship from past experiences. If you have specific problems that you want to solve, talk about them with your partner to see if they can help you.

Be open to learning everything there is to know about your special someone.

Also, make sure you’re happy to share your story, your values, and your passions. If you find that you can’t express yourself freely and share it, maybe it’s not the right person to share it with. Or you need to practice sharing.

When do long-distance relationships fail?

Long distance relationships fail when a couple doesn’t have a plan for how long the distance will last. Without a plan and schedule, your long-distance relationship becomes an ongoing experience. And that alone is enough to ruin your relationship.

If you haven’t planned your long-distance relationship yet, this workbook is a must.

Having a plan for how long your long-distance relationship will last will help you know when you can move in together. When times get tough, this will give you peace of mind knowing that long-distance relationships aren’t all that bad, and actually have many benefits.

Clear goals are an essential part of a successful relationship. If you need help, our step-by-step guide will help you set clear and specific personal and relationship goals.

While you can view the extra time you can spend alone as loneliness, it can also be an opportunity for you to do the things you enjoy with people you love.

But eventually you will want to be with your partner. Having a plan and schedule will help make sure you’re going in the right direction. And that your long distance relationship is temporary and at some point you will move in together and live with the person you love.

Long distance relationships also fail if you don’t have a strategy for solving problems. The clarity of your communication with your long-distance partner can help you maintain understanding and emotional connection. It will also help you solve problems.

Without effective communication, you cannot express yourself clearly, leading to confusion and misunderstandings. Constant misunderstandings lead to unnecessary fights and arguments that ruin your relationship or at least make it very uncomfortable.

If you are serious about making your relationship work, communication is the very first thing to focus on. While it may be difficult to know where to start, this workbook can provide guidance and walk you through the necessary steps.

How do long distance relationships fail?

Usually, long-distance relationships fail slowly over time. You share intimate things with someone who is part of your life, even if they are not always physically present.

However, there comes a time in a long distance relationship when it lasts too long. You might want to be with your partner for the first few months, but there are things you can do with people around you and fun things you can do online with your partner.

But after a while you naturally wonder what kind of relationship that is. You have a romantic partner while deprived of sexual intimacy and on the verge of entering into another romantic relationship. It can be confusing for your body and mind.

Feeling deprived and frustrated can lead to increased arguments and negative feelings. The worse you feel, the more you fight, and the more you fight, the worse you feel. At this point, you enter a never-ending cycle of things getting worse and worse.

Depending on your bond and commitment, you can get stuck in this cycle for months and even years. The constant struggle and suffering you end up experiencing is the real reason long distance relationships get a bad rap.

To check how healthy your long-distance relationship really is, check out this step-by-step guide. It’s designed for you and your partner, but if your partner doesn’t want to work with you, going through it alone can be just as informative for you.

Signs your long distance relationship is failing

Here are some signs that your long-distance relationship is failing:

You feel sad, angry, and miserable more often than happy and fulfilled.

You or your partner have lost interest in your long-distance relationship.

You rarely talk to your long-distance partner.

Your partner makes no effort to come to you.

They rarely visit each other.

They have no plan to move in together.

You don’t share your feelings or intimate things.

You feel confused about why you are in this relationship.

They tried to fix the problems but nothing works.

Your feelings have changed or you have developed feelings for someone else.

The sexual frustration becomes too great.

You’ve been in a long-distance relationship for a long time, now you’ve drifted apart.

How to fix long distance relationship failure?

If you feel like your long distance relationship is failing, you can try to fix the issues that caused this failure.

Many long-distance relationships fail because couples fail to recognize that a long-distance relationship can only function healthily for a short period of time. When you are in a romantic relationship, you must have your partner by your side. Otherwise your relationship is friendship.

In order to solve problems in a long-distance relationship, you must at least be willing to examine the problems and make some changes. Both you and your partner need to be interested in this relationship and making it work.

While you can try to work on some issues, sometimes the relationship is dead.

For example, if you are arguing over misunderstandings, you need to work on your communication. If you’re struggling with the lack of physical intimacy, you can visit more often.

However, if your feelings have changed and you’ve grown apart, it’s time to reevaluate your relationship and consider moving on.

Before you make important decisions that you may later regret, give this workbook a chance to help you! This is our most comprehensive guide, covering all aspects of a long distance relationship so you can be sure no stone is left unturned.

Conclusion

A common problem that long-distance couples face is the lack or decrease in intimacy. A reduced frequency of physical contact and especially sex is often mentioned. There is also an expectation of emotional fulfillment.

Long distance relationships fail when a couple treats them as a full love relationship. The romantic relationship involves physical affection, closeness, intimacy. Without her, it’s not a complete relationship. While it’s okay for a short period of time, it can hurt your relationship if it goes on for a longer period of time.

Physical touch reassures you that your relationship is going well and lets you know whenever there is a problem. The lack of physical contact makes your long-distance relationship difficult to navigate. The only way to maintain emotional connection and understanding is through effective communication.

Long distance relationships fail because couples struggle with circumstances instead of understanding them. If you see your circumstances as obstacles to your happiness, it’s a struggle. And you can choose to fight for a short time to reach your goal. Just remember that every moment you spend ‘surviving’ your relationship is one less moment to enjoy.

The key to long distance relationship success is knowing how to manage the distance. If you are serious about your relationship and want to do your best, this workbook will help you address the issues that come with the breakup.

How Healthy is Your Long Distance Relationship?

If you’re having doubts about your long-distance relationship and aren’t sure whether you should try to fix it or let go, here’s our step-by-step guide to help you and your partner reevaluate your relationship and making an informed decision that works for both of you.

Relationship coaching for long distance couples

Long distance relationships are difficult to sustain without knowing exactly what they entail.

However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they aren’t, and how to deal with them, it’s much more likely to work.

We specialize in helping long-distance couples build and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust, and effective communication.

If you are starting or already in a long distance relationship, send us a message to book individual coaching for yourself or couples coaching for you and your partner.

frequently asked Questions

If your long distance call isn’t working or you’ve grown apart, it might be time to let it go.

It’s time to let go of your long-distance relationship when it’s no longer bringing you happiness and fulfillment. Unresolved issues accumulate over time, slowly destroying the loving relationship you once had. If you find yourself in a relationship that isn’t working, you can try to fix it or let go.

In this article, we’ll examine the signs that will help you decide when it’s time to break up with your long-distance relationship. You can gain insight into how you view your breakup by identifying with one of the following: ending, giving up, or ending your long-distance relationship.

How to know when to let go of a long distance relationship?

It’s hard to pinpoint the exact moment when you should let go of your long-distance relationship.

When relationships don’t work, they tend to deteriorate over time. One moment you are happy and in love and the next you are in a relationship full of fights. At this point, you can either try to fix your relationship or let it go and move on.

Letting go of someone you shared a part of your life with is not easy. Because of this, you can choose to stay together even if your relationship is no longer working for you.

You can try to make your relationship work even if you don’t feel it anymore. Maybe you are afraid of being alone or you don’t know how to deal with the gap your partner will leave in your life.

If your feelings change, express them to your partner and make a decision together.

When you’ve had enough and just want to break up, there’s a right way and a wrong way to do it.

In short, it’s time to let go of your long-distance relationship when it no longer contributes to your life and well-being.

When you feel at a crossroads with your relationship, the first step is to figure out what’s going wrong!

To understand what is and isn’t working in your relationship, check out this workbook.

Once you identify the problems in your relationship, you will be able to find the best way forward.

When should you stop in a long distance relationship?

It’s time to end your long-distance relationship when your relationship is dysfunctional, unresolved issues are piling up, and you’re feeling emotionally overwhelmed. When your long-distance relationship becomes toxic, it’s best to let it go.

If you’re thinking of ending your long-distance relationship, don’t rush it.

Take about a week to get in touch with your thoughts and feelings. When you have thought about your relationship, talk to your partner.

Express your thoughts, doubts, and concerns as clearly and honestly as possible. Give your partner some time to process what you said and listen to them.

Being open about everything can help you make a better decision that works for both of you.

Whatever you decide, you will know that you are not the type of person to run away from problems. Instead, you are the one who faces them and learns how best to handle the situation.

This approach will help you in your future relationships as well as your life in general.

If you are desperate to end your relationship, all you can think about is breaking up and moving on. You no longer have the ability to consider your partner’s feelings. And while it’s understandable, you risk leaving your partner hurt, unheard, and insecure.

After a broken heart, it’s hard to get back up and be ready for a new relationship.

If you don’t realize what went wrong, chances are you’ll invite similar problems into your next relationship.

To better understand yourself and find out who might be the right person for you, check out this workbook.

Reasons to end it in your long distance relationship

You feel emotionally overwhelmed.

You no longer enjoy being with or talking to your partner.

You and your partner have different goals in life.

You don’t see that moving in together is realistic given your current circumstances.

Your long distance relationship has been going on for a long time and you are tired of being apart.

While it’s okay to end a relationship, you should do it right.

You started your relationship together so you are both responsible for making it work or break up.

This article will show you how to end your relationship with dignity and respect for yourself and your partner.

When should you end a long-distance relationship?

The idea of ​​giving up implies failure, and no one likes to fail. Giving up on a long-distance relationship suggests walking away from it because you don’t know what else you can do to make it work.

If you want to end your long-distance relationship, it could mean one of three things:

You don’t think you have the power to do anything about it. Not sure how to go about a long distance relationship. You don’t know how to fix the problems that arise.

Facing problems in a long-distance relationship is not easy. But if you want it to work, you have to face the problems and find a solution together with your partner. Your only other option is to break up.

As you discuss your relationship issues with your partner, you may find that some of them are not that difficult to resolve. All it takes is your willingness and your partner’s cooperation and support.

As long as your partner is willing to work with you, the only thing standing in the way of your success is poor communication. To help you with this important area of ​​a relationship, we’ve put together a step-by-step guide to help you find understanding and talk about your struggles.

You may also find that some issues depend on the circumstances and are beyond your control. In this case, you need to face your reality and discuss everything openly and honestly. It will help you find the best way for both of you. Either way, effective communication is key.

When should you end a long-distance relationship?

You should end a long-distance relationship when it’s no longer working for you and you can’t find a way to fix it.

Couples in long-distance relationships share similar common problems. Fortunately, with good communication and understanding, most issues can be addressed and resolved relatively quickly.

Effective communication also helps build trust and understanding, allowing you to talk about whatever distance throws in your way.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you manage the distance and make the most of your relationship.

However, if your communication is not great, you will find it difficult to solve the problems you are facing.

Every little problem has a chance to turn into a big problem that can eventually ruin your relationship.

If you’re in a long-distance relationship for a long time, chances are you’re drifting apart. Your feelings may change or you may develop feelings for someone else.

In a long-distance relationship, you are separated from your partner for a long time. This means that you must experience life separately from each other.

As a result, you will have separate experiences that will shape you in different ways. Over time, you will both change and not be the same people you were when you started your long-distance relationship.

When this happens, you can talk about your options and reevaluate your relationship to see if it’s worth moving on or if it’s better to end it.

As long as you are in a relationship, try to avoid making one-sided decisions.

Signs your long distance relationship is over

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when to let go of your long-distance relationship. Distance brings a lot of insecurities into a relationship. If you don’t address your doubts, they can become problems.

You can spot several signs that can tell you your relationship might be over:

You tried to have a romantic relationship with someone far away, but it didn’t work.

You argue with your partner more and more often.

They don’t see each other often, and their sexual frustration is only getting more intense.

You don’t talk as much as you used to.

They schedule a talk to visit each other, but they get canceled.

You no longer talk about your feelings, your relationship, or plans for the future.

Your feelings have changed and you have grown apart.

You have developed feelings for someone else.

Your doubts about your long-distance relationship are growing and you don’t have the certainty that it will work out.

When is a long distance relationship over?

You may have doubts whether your relationship is over or not. It is best to talk to your partner about things that are bothering you.

Being aware of what’s really going on in your relationship will help you make better decisions.

Doubts can arise from uncertainties and insecurities. But they can also arise from your partner’s behavior or certain circumstances.

Unresolved doubts can make you feel stressed and anxious, and you are more likely to make bad decisions. Instead, share your doubts and concerns with your partner and let them help you.

When you talk to your partner about your concerns, you can differentiate what’s really going on from what you think is happening.

If you don’t share your feelings and struggles with your partner, they won’t know how to help you.

After discussing your struggles with your partner, you have a better chance of resolving things together. When you’ve considered all aspects of your long-distance relationship, you can decide it’s really over.

Sharing your thoughts and feelings with your partner does not guarantee that they can help you. But at least you would have done yourself a favor by being honest and open with yourself and your partner.

If you and your partner decide to break up, knowing why your long-distance relationship didn’t work will help you build healthier relationships in the future.

So if you have doubts about your relationship and want to make sure you are doing everything you can to make it work, this is the workbook for you.

This guide will take you step-by-step through every aspect of your long-distance relationship. In doing so, you will identify the areas of your relationship that need some work.

You might discover a way to repair your relationship and enjoy being together.

You may also realize that it would be best for both of you to end this relationship and move on. If you know what didn’t work, in this case you can agree on why it is better to break up so that you can do it in a loving way with understanding and mutual support.

How to let go of a long distance relationship

Once you get used to having someone in your life, letting them go can be difficult. Some couples choose to stay together even if their long-distance relationship isn’t working out.

An unhealthy relationship brings a lot of suffering.

Some people make a unilateral decision to end a relationship. Then they inform their partner about this decision. It’s not a healthy way to break up as it guarantees that one of you will get hurt.

If your relationship isn’t working out, avoid making a unilateral decision to end it!

A better way is to share your doubts and concerns with your partner. It will allow your partner to see your doubts, address your concerns, and help you repair your long-distance relationship.

After talking to your partner, you may realize that the time has come to end your relationship.

In this case, if both you and your partner decide it’s best for both of you, it’s perfectly fine to break up.

Before you speak to your partner, think about your feelings, doubts, and concerns so you can communicate them clearly.

Once you’ve disclosed everything, you have a better chance of making your long-distance relationship work or ending it the right way.

When you decide it’s time to let go of your long-distance relationship, here’s how to do it right:

Think about how you feel about yourself and your relationship. Identify the main issues in your long-distance relationship. Share your feelings, doubts and concerns with your partner. Together with your partner, you can try to fix your relationship, or you can choose to let it go.

When one of you wants to break up and the other doesn’t, couples coaching can really help you gain clarity and understanding. You can book an introductory event here.

Conclusion

When you’re in a long-distance relationship, the problems slowly pile up over time. Rarely does a moment destroy a healthy relationship built on trust and effective communication.

Paying attention to what’s going on in your long-distance relationship can help you pick up when things go wrong. The sooner you can spot the problems, the better your chances of repairing your long-distance relationship.

If you’re having issues in your long-distance relationship, it’s a good idea to discuss those concerns with your partner first.

The history you have shared and the bond you may have with your partner make it difficult to end your relationship.

However, try to avoid one-sided decisions. Instead, talk to your partner about your thoughts and feelings, and together you can decide what’s best for both of you.

If you still have feelings for each other, you can try to work things out. However, if your feelings have subsided, it’s probably time to move on.

frequently asked Questions

If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you’ve most likely considered the possibility that your long-distance partner might be cheating on you, or you might have been tempted to cheat.

Cheating in a long-distance relationship is something you or your partner do outside of your agreement. When you start a relationship, you make promises and set boundaries. To prevent and avoid cheating, give your partner clear freedoms and limits. If either of you cheated, try to avoid judgment and try to understand the reasons behind the cheating.

While there is a specific definition of cheating, the practical meaning varies from person to person and couple to couple.

Here we talk about common reasons for cheating, how to avoid it and what to do if you or your partner has cheated.

What is cheating in a long distance relationship?

Cheating is something you do outside of the agreement with your partner. When you start a relationship, you make promises and set boundaries.

You must both be willing to keep those promises and stay within those boundaries. The moment you feel limited, unhappy, or unwilling to maintain that agreement, you should talk to your long-distance partner about it.

It’s normal for feelings to change. It’s also okay to change your mind about your relationship or to realize that you no longer have the same feelings for your partner.

It’s not okay to suppress your feelings, nor is it okay to act on them without telling your partner. As long as you’re honest with your partner, there’s always a chance you can work things out. The moment you break that trust, your relationship is over. You can try to make it work, but it will never be the same.

The clearer you are with your long-distance partner about your agreement, the easier it will be for you to maintain a healthy relationship based on trust and understanding.

Is a long-distance relationship possible without cheating?

While it is possible to have a long-distance relationship without cheating, you should keep in mind that cheating is possible in your relationship.

One of the ways you can minimize the likelihood of cheating in a long-distance relationship is to always be open and honest about your feelings. The reason partners cheat is because some of their needs are unmet in their current relationship.

For example, in a long distance relationship you may have excellent communication and strong and healthy emotional connection and intimacy. However, there is a lack of physical intimacy in a long-distance relationship.

While it’s relatively easy to go without physical intimacy for some time, a lack of physical intimacy can become a problem if your long-distance relationship lasts longer than a few months, at least for one of you. Click here to learn more about intimacy issues in a long distance relationship.

Let’s say you are very much in love with your long distance partner and you have complete trust and understanding. At the same time, you have a clear unmet need for physical intimacy. They want to experience physical closeness with another person. After all, it is the reason you are in a romantic relationship.

Now you face a dilemma. You love your partner, but you also need physical closeness. So what are your options? Well, you can stick to the plan and try to keep your long-distance relationship going for a while longer until you move in together. By the way, if you don’t have a plan and schedule for your long distance relationship, you better make one yourself.

A healthy option is to share your feelings and needs with your partner. If they know how you’re feeling, they can try to help you meet your needs one way or another. That way your decision is fair and you don’t have to cheat. One of the options is an open long-distance relationship.

You may choose to suppress your feelings, needs, and desires for sexual intimacy. It might seem like a good idea at this point, but it will only lead to increased sexual frustration and put more strain on your relationship.

Finally, you can fulfill your need for physical intimacy with someone else without telling your partner. Assuming you are in a committed monogamous relationship; that would be cheating.

The problem with cheating isn’t the sexual act itself. The problem is jeopardizing the trust you’ve built your relationship on. Even if you don’t tell your partner about your ventures, you will know that your long-distance relationship has run out of trust.

Learn more about trust in a long distance relationship in this article.

Over time, you can feel guilty and working overtime can lead to depression and anxiety that puts your relationship at risk again.

Fear of cheating in a long-distance relationship

When you are in a long distance relationship, sometimes weeks go by without seeing your partner. All the time, you can’t help but have doubts about whether your long-distance relationship is going to work or not.

At some point you start to wonder if your partner is cheating on you. The more afraid you are of this idea, the more it bothers you. Suppose you keep letting it fester in your head. It will affect your behavior. Before you know it, you start distrusting your long-distance partner and try to control what they do and with whom.

Putting enough pressure on your long-distance partner will strain your relationship, and it may be the very thing that will make your partner cheat on you.

If you are alone with your fear of cheating, talk to your partner about it. The moment you bring it out, it won’t hold as much power over you. And if there’s a real reason why cheating is an option, it gives you a chance to discuss those issues with your partner.

When fear of cheating is not based on objective behaviors, it may be the result of personal insecurities. Click here to find out more.

Temptation to cheat in a long distance relationship

When you are in a romantic relationship, you expect physical intimacy. In long-distance relationships, a lack of physical intimacy is one of the main problems. For all the common issues that long distance couples face, take a look at this article.

Of course, if you cannot be physically intimate with your romantic partner, you will try to find someone else who fulfills your need. While it’s okay to recognize that you have a strong need to be sexually intimate with someone, you should talk to your partner about it before acting on it.

You can try to find a solution together with your long-distance partner.

This solution can move in together earlier, or you may consider an open long-distance relationship.

Being separated from your partner means none of your physical/sexual needs are being met. One way to manage this is to be open and honest about all of your feelings and desires. Once you make it public, the two of you can get on the same page and together make the best decisions that work for both of you.

To achieve this, you must have amazing communication skills and the ability to bring up sensitive issues. As this is not always an easy task, this workbook can be of great help in becoming familiar with talking about different things. It’s also a guide to help you have important conversations.

Emotional cheating in a long distance relationship

Emotional cheating is a term used to describe emotional intimacy with someone outside of your monogamous relationship.

If you look beyond the judgment of wrongdoing, you can see the reason someone opens up emotionally to someone outside of the relationship.

Suppose you don’t feel emotionally connected to your partner because they’ve been away for a long time. In this case, you need to share your feelings and find an emotional connection with someone else. That’s why effective and honest communication is key to a successful long-distance relationship.

If you’re struggling to maintain intimacy in your long-distance relationship, use this workbook as a guide to creating and maintaining a physical and emotional connection.

What if your long-distance partner cheated on you?

Suppose your long-distance partner cheated on you. Try to understand their reasons for cheating. Avoid making up an argument and judging them for it. All it will do is make your partner avoid saying things to you.

If you approach the situation with understanding, your partner will feel more comfortable telling you what happened and why. In turn, it gives you the opportunity to understand the problem and decide how best to move forward.

What if you cheated on your long distance relationship?

If you have cheated on your long-distance partner, first try to understand why. If it was a spontaneous moment, then there is still room in your life for your relationship. If you cheated because you can’t meet your needs in your relationship, then maybe it’s time to break up.

How do you know if your partner is cheating on you in a long distance relationship?

In a long-distance relationship, it’s hard to tell when your partner is cheating. For example, just because they spend less time talking to you doesn’t necessarily mean they’re cheating. Maybe your partner is just very busy with things in their life.

At the same time, a few things can indicate that your partner may be cheating. One of those things is an apparent disinterest in you or your relationship. If your partner tries to avoid meaningful conversations or to share their feelings, it’s a sign that they’re moving away from you.

If you feel that distance is growing between the two of you, you should talk about it with your partner. Even if you love her, you’re better off knowing the hard truth than living a lie.

Signs of cheating in a long-distance relationship

In a long distance relationship, it’s hard to tell if your partner is cheating on you. If you live together, you can notice the slightest differences in your partner’s behavior. When you are separated from your romantic partner, all you know is what they say in text messages, phone calls, or video calls.

Here are some signs that your long-distance partner might be cheating:

Your partner spends significantly less time talking to you.

Your partner avoids meaningful conversations.

Your partner is uncomfortable talking about their feelings.

Your partner is unwilling to make an effort to solve problems or arrange visits.

If your long-distance partner behaves differently, it could be for a number of reasons and doesn’t necessarily mean they’re cheating on you. That’s why trust is even more important in a long-distance relationship than in a relationship where you live with your romantic partner.

Cheating husband or wife in a long distance relationship

Long-distance marriage can be very difficult for both partners. When you are married, you are committed to each other and to your relationship.

However, a long-distance relationship works regardless of whether you are married or not. If you don’t see your romantic partner for a long time at the end of the day, you have an unmet need for physical intimacy.

The best thing you can do is discuss your feelings and needs with your spouse. Until you find yourself in the awkward position of being separated from your husband or wife, you might think that a long distance relationship is something you can handle. However, at some point you may find that you are no longer ready to enter into a long-distance relationship.

If your feelings or thoughts about a long-distance relationship change, talk about it with your partner as honestly and openly as possible. As long as your partner knows what’s going on with you, there are things they can do to help.

If you don’t share your feelings with your husband or wife, they don’t know what’s going on inside you. Even if your partner wants to help, they won’t know what to do.

One thing you shouldn’t do is pursue your desires without first talking to your husband or wife. This deprives your partner of the opportunity to participate in solving the problem.

If you find yourself in a long distance relationship, your first step is to learn to manage the distance. This step-by-step guide will help you get started.

Cheating in college during a long distance relationship

Long-distance relationships during college are very difficult. College is the time to meet new people, study, and explore different relationships.

Having a romantic relationship with someone who isn’t around while you have many like-minded people around can be stressful and even unnecessary.

The fact that the partner who goes to college has so many opportunities to be with different people makes cheating even more likely than in other types of long-distance relationships, such as marriage. B. in a long-distance marriage.

It’s hard, and sometimes even unhealthy, to try to restrain yourself from all the temptations around you while you’re in college.

A good option for a long-distance college relationship is to stay friends or have an open long-distance relationship. That way, you can continue to maintain trust and respect for one another without sacrificing a fun experience.

Learn more about long distance relationships in college in this article.

How to deal with a cheating partner in a long distance relationship?

Try to understand why your partner is cheating. Talk about the reasons your partner is cheating. When it comes to satisfying sexual needs, you can try visiting each other more often. However, when it comes to lies, you may need to end your relationship.

Cheating is a combination of lying and satisfying sexual needs. When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you lack physical intimacy. After a while, this can become very significant, and if you don’t talk about it and try to fix it, chances are one of you might end up sleeping with someone else.

Without trust, you cannot have a healthy and successful relationship of any kind.

While you can discuss your relationship after a one-off cheating, if this is a repetitive behavior it is a strong sign of an unhealthy relationship.

It may be best for both of you to end this relationship and find someone you can have trust and understanding with. This workbook will help you think about what you want and who might be the right partner for you.

Is Taking a Break from a Long Distance Relationship Cheating?

Once you’ve agreed to break up with your long-distance partner, you should discuss whether the breakup will be temporary or a full breakup.

When a person no longer wants to be together, but the partner wants to keep the hope of seeing each other again. This can lead to confusion about what is and isn’t cheating.

Talk to your partner to agree on the boundaries and freedoms of your relationship.

If you are no longer happy in your relationship, consider changing your agreement or breaking up entirely.

To be on the safe side, before you do anything, check with your partner if this is what you want to do and see what they say. This way you always know where you are and avoid confusion and fraud.

Sometimes when you have doubts about your relationship, it helps to re-evaluate your situation to see if your relationship is healthy. This clarity will help you make a more informed decision.

If you need help and guidance, this step-by-step guide will help you reflect on all aspects of your long-distance relationship.

How to Forgive Cheating in a Long Distance Relationship

If your long-distance partner has cheated on you, understanding is more important than forgiveness. If you just forgive your partner for cheating, you don’t know why they did it, so chances are they’ll do it again.

So instead of judging and forgiving, try to listen and understand. It will no doubt be a difficult thing considering how many emotions are pouring through you at this point. However, this approach gives you more clarity about your situation, your partner’s perspective, and the state of your long-distance relationship.

Your understanding of your situation will give you the strength to make a healthy decision and avoid future heartache and pain.

How to Fix Long Distance Relationship After Cheating?

You can only repair a long-distance relationship after cheating if you understand what you need to change.

If either of you cheated, you had your reasons. In the long-distance relationship, you likely have an unmet need for physical intimacy. If you don’t have effective communication with trust and openness, you may lose an emotional connection, which can also be a reason for cheating.

Once you understand why the cheating happened, you can try to fix your relationship if it was a one-time situation. For example, if cheating is due to a lack of physical intimacy, moving in together or visiting more often could be a solution.

However, if you have lost interest in your long-distance partner, ending your relationship might be a better solution.

Whatever you choose, it is always better to make a rational decision based on understanding than one based on your emotions and judgments about wrongdoing. The moment emotions subside, you may regret making that decision.

One of the most common problems in a long distance relationship is the lack of physical intimacy. Failure to properly manage this issue will result in sexual frustration.

If you’re struggling to maintain intimacy in your long-distance relationship, this step-by-step guide will help you create and maintain a physical and emotional connection when you’re together or apart.

Without addressing these issues, you might be tempted to sleep with someone else. While sleeping with someone else is only half the problem, lying about it is what ruins trust and destroys the relationship.

If you’re in a long-distance relationship, it helps to be honest about your feelings and frustrations with your partner. If you don’t share your thoughts, your partner won’t be able to help you.

Once you can clearly articulate your feelings and needs to your long-distance partner, they will be able to help you find a solution that works for both of you.

If you are in dire need of sexual satisfaction, it is understandable that you would make a mistake and have a sexual encounter with someone else. In this case, however, you should immediately discuss this with your partner. When it comes to sexual needs, you can try to address them by seeing each other more often or by contracting.

But if the cheating keeps happening and you are unable to fix it, then this relationship is toxic for both of you and you might want to call it quits.

If you need guidance on how to fix trust issues in your relationship, take a look at this workbook.

How to make a long distance relationship work after cheating

Cheating is a combination of having sex and lying about it. With a lack of physical intimacy in a long-distance relationship, you can almost expect one of you to become sexually involved with someone else.

When that happens, it comes down to trust. If your bond with your long-distance partner is strong enough, you can talk about what happened, the reasons why, and what you can do to prevent it from happening again.

If you don’t solve the needs behind the scam, chances are it will happen again. Repeated cheating is unhealthy and a sign that you’re in a toxic long-distance relationship.

If your long-distance partner cheated on you, you can talk about it or end your relationship. In any case, try to understand what happened and why so that you can do better next time.

If you and your partner are open and willing to put an end to the past and do whatever it takes to make your long-distance relationship work, this complete guide will walk you step-by-step through every aspect of your relationship so you can identify and address any that may arise problems one.

Cheat advice for a long distance relationship

The best way to avoid cheating in a long-distance relationship is to talk about it with your partner when you start a long-distance relationship. The moment you decide your long distance relationship is serious, you need a plan and a schedule to make it work.

Here’s an in-depth article on how to make your long-distance relationship work.

Likewise, you need an agreement about freedoms and boundaries that you are both comfortable with. You can expect these freedoms and boundaries to change over time, so be prepared and agree on how best to communicate with your partner when that happens.

One way to manage your need for physical intimacy is to visit each other regularly. This workbook will help you prepare for your visits and make the most of your time together.

Conclusion

Trust and understanding are the key aspects of a healthy and successful long distance relationship. The chances of cheating in a long-distance relationship increase when you don’t trust each other or think your openness isn’t welcome.

For a long distance relationship to work, you need to maintain emotional and physical intimacy. You can maintain emotional intimacy through open and honest communication.

Physical intimacy can be a little harder to maintain. Maintaining your physical intimacy requires scheduling regular visits and having a plan for when to move in together if you are in a serious long-distance relationship.

This workbook will help you create a plan for your long-distance relationship if you don’t already have one.

Without effective communication, there is a possibility of emotional betrayal. Either you or your long-distance partner is trying to find an emotional connection with someone outside of your relationship.

If you don’t have the means to visit each other often enough, or don’t plan on moving in together anytime soon, you risk one of you cheating by having physical intimacy with someone else.

The best way to avoid cheating in a long distance relationship is to keep an eye on your communications. Try to make an effort to see each other often and have a clear plan on how you’re going to make your long-distance relationship work. Also, consider setting a specific date for moving in.

If one of you has cheated, the best thing you can do is talk about it rationally to identify the reasons behind the cheating. If you can address the reasons for the scam, it doesn’t need to happen again. If you don’t solve the issues that led to the scam in the first place, chances are it will happen again.

How Healthy is Your Long Distance Relationship?

If you’re having doubts about your long-distance relationship and aren’t sure whether you should try to fix it or let go, here’s our step-by-step guide to help you and your partner reevaluate your relationship and making an informed decision that works for both of you.

Relationship coaching for long distance couples

Long distance relationships are difficult to sustain without knowing exactly what they entail.

However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they aren’t, and how to deal with them, it’s much more likely to work.

We specialize in helping long-distance couples build and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust, and effective communication.

If you are starting or already in a long distance relationship, send us a message to book individual coaching for yourself or couples coaching for you and your partner.

frequently asked Questions

Text frequently

Everyone has different feelings about how much communication is too much, so it’s important that both you and your partner respect each other’s boundaries when texting. A warning sign of an unhealthy relationship and controlling behavior is when your partner is constantly texting you, asking where you are, or demanding that you send pictures of people you are with. They might say, “I want to make sure you’re not with anyone I don’t like,” or “I’m just looking out for you.” Healthy relationships are built on trust, and everyone deserves freedom in their relationship without fearing theirs to upset partners. It’s okay to make impromptu plans with friends while you’re in a long-distance relationship, and you shouldn’t be punished or racked with guilt if it takes you a while to reply or hang out with other people.

digital surveillance

Many couples use digital means of communication in their long-distance relationship to feel closer. Tools like WhatsApp or FaceTime can be a great way to catch up on each other’s day! The problem we hear about love is that these tools can sometimes lead to intense digital surveillance. It’s normal to feel some insecurities during a long-distance relationship, but those feelings need to be managed in a healthy way, with lots of communication and respect for each other’s feelings. Unhealthy behaviors include your partner asking you to give them password access to social media accounts, keeping FaceTime on so they can see you doing your homework, or checking if you’re watching a TV show at the same time, or even yourself upset when you don’t Don’t keep your video chat on while you sleep.

sexual assault

Feeling pressure from your partner to send explicit photos or participate in filmed sex acts during chat hangouts is also a warning sign of abuse. In healthy relationships, partners don’t push the other to do something they aren’t comfortable with; You always have the right to protect both your privacy and your body. If you feel like a limit is being crossed, go with your gut. Digital abuse is never okay.

Visits planned too long

Nothing beats a long distance relationship like finally being able to spend quality time with your significant other! So why aren’t you excited to give up another weekend? A tightly controlled visitation schedule in a long-distance relationship can be exhausting, especially when you’re forced to sacrifice ALL your weekends or free time to see your partner. You can get burned out if you’re not allowed to relax or hang out with friends and family. Visits not only cost time, but also money for travel expenses! It’s important that you and your partner are comfortable with the amount of time you are spending together, and that neither of you feels pressured to sacrifice study time, family time, or other important things to please your partner.

excuses

The idea of ​​long-distance relationships opens up a debate between those who believe it’s possible to pull through and those who think it’s only a matter of time before a partner drops out. From a psychological point of view, chances of success and chances of failure are pretty much balanced. Depending on various factors, long-distance relationships can work just as well as ones in which the partners live close together. In fact, recent studies have shown that between people with strong emotional attachments, the longer the distance, the better the relationship.

However, this depends on how committed both sides are to the common goal of keeping the relationship alive. Some aspects like commitment, trust, and loyalty have a major psychological impact on the success of a relationship. While all three aspects are also relevant for close geographical relationships, in long-distance relationships things need to be taken to another level.

The psychological effects of a long-distance relationship

The main reason everyone assumes LDRs will fail is a lack of confidence in the certainty that the person will remain loyal to you. This is a common, natural reaction because the first thing that comes to mind when you’re separated from someone is being replaced. Our thoughts are influenced by a high level of anxiety, which we feel when we realize that someone else could easily take our place. In trying to protect ourselves from harm, our brain tends to highlight all the negative aspects to prepare us for the worst.

This is an inevitable process, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be controlled. In almost every case, at some point a person will feel insecure and insecure about the long-distance relationship. This depends on how strong the foundations of the relationship itself are. Couples who have developed strong bonds over time are less likely to have these problems than couples who have not been together that long.

The way around this problem is constant reassurance. It is necessary that both sides show interest in maintaining the relationship. The key to building trust in a long-distance relationship is keeping your partner up to date with everything that’s going on in your life. They themselves are a part of your life, which is reason enough to include them in everything else.

By simply letting your partner know your plans and being open with them about your whereabouts, you will build trust between you. The way to build intimacy over a long distance is to show your partner parts of your day by taking photos or short videos. Sharing this makes them feel included in your daily life, which greatly improves the relationship and communication. Thankfully, today’s technology has made this far too easy for couples around the world with numerous communication options like video chat and voice messaging.

No matter how much two people trust each other, when they start a long-distance relationship, trust becomes thin ice. When a person gets caught in even the smallest, most irrelevant lie, it triggers a series of thoughts and insecurities that cause the other person to question the entire relationship. Again, this is our brain’s self-defense system, which is a natural response that cannot be turned off. No matter how insignificant the lie, it can shake the entire foundation and cause serious damage to the entire relationship. It is important that no uncertainty arises in any way. On the contrary, the key to a successful long-distance relationship is trust. Being confident that you will and want to spend your life with this person will also make them feel confident and that alone will resolve most of the insecurities caused by distance.

Studies have shown that staying positive and avoiding negative thoughts almost always produces positive results. This applies to every aspect of life, not just relationships. So instead of counting the days you’ve been apart, count the days left until you reunite with your partner. See things on the bright side, instead of seeing each day as another day without them, see them as one day closer to seeing them. A positive attitude will make you stress free and allow you to enjoy your relationship and perform better in other areas of life like work or study.

A 2007 study by Katherine Maguire shows that couples who remain positive and view their long-distance relationship as temporary because they know they will see each other again soon are generally much happier and less distressed. To keep a long-distance relationship healthy and satisfying, it’s important to constantly show your partner that you care about them and want to keep them in your life, no matter how difficult the circumstances. Surprising her with old-school love letters or even a visit here and then will greatly improve the quality of the relationship. Understanding the psychology of trust issues will help you stay in a long distance relationship much, much longer.

In many ways, long-distance relationships tend to be stronger than geographically close ones. According to a 2013 study by researchers at Cornell University and the City University of Hong Kong, people who are separated from their partners tend to idealize them much more than those who are constantly surrounded by their presence. The reason is that due to the distance, we miss the person close to us so much that we often dream about them.

When daydreaming, our brain wanders around imagining that person exactly as we want them to be. This often involves a lot of exaggeration, but studies have confirmed that it has a major impact on the quality of the relationship. Another reason long-distance relationships can be stronger than geographically close ones is because of better communication. If both are willing to put in the effort to keep the relationship going, they will find ways to communicate more effectively and avoid arguments as much as possible.

When reuniting, long-distance couples focus on making every second count, so they do their best not to waste time fighting. This is something other couples overlook because they have enough quality time together, but what they don’t realize is that they are still negatively affecting their relationship.

As much as LDRs can be tiring and mentally draining, they can positively impact the way we think and live in general. As long as there is the right level of trust and commitment from both sides equally in the relationship, the chances of success are greatly increased. What affects the relationship most positively psychologically is knowing that both partners are equally committed and loyal to each other. Staying positive about the distance and knowing it’s not forever will help you deal with the situation more easily.

Trying to distract yourself from the fact that you are physically separated from your significant other is very important. You can do this by finding a hobby or TV show that you both enjoy. Sharing these little things with them will make you feel closer and even forget the distance for a bit.

In a 2012 University of Denver study, researchers followed 870 people in the United States who were in long-distance relationships. Most of them stated with certainty that they will continue to date this person in the next year and eventually marry them. However, after receiving a follow-up questionnaire about five months later, a fifth of them had parted ways. This shows how confident people are in long-distance relationships without realizing how much patience and understanding it takes.

In fact, the hardest part is maintaining that trust throughout the relationship. After not seeing your partner for months, chances are you’re growing apart. However, those who are committed and willing to do whatever it takes to keep the relationship going are sure to thrive. When in love, people don’t allow themselves to see perfection in anyone other than their chosen one. This mindset is the one that will surely make it through the long distance relationship.

To summarize our analysis of the psychological aspects of long-distance relationships, it is important to make three main points. The topic of trust, the topic of commitment and the topic of mindset. The issue of trust is an inevitable part of any long-distance relationship, especially if the couple hasn’t been together long. It’s important to remember that it takes time to build trust and only two seconds to destroy it. The question of commitment is about how much effort you are willing to put into the relationship. If you don’t give it your all, it’s not worth it. Last but not least, the topic of mindset. Mindset has been shown to affect your relationship as well as your performance at work. These are aspects of life that reflect your thoughts. Positive thoughts lead to positive outcomes and less stress, which is the key to a happy life.

There are misconduct that will destroy any relationship, and then there are crimes that only happen in long-distance relationships. Some of these I had to learn the hard way: My first relationship was long-distance, but thankfully we’re here three and a half years later.

Having distance in my first relationship wasn’t easy. It was like skipping the tutorial and all the levels in a video game to face off against the boss. A long distance relationship requires 10 times more effort, trust and communication than a regular relationship. I wish I had had someone give me advice on what to do and not do in a relationship, let alone a long distance one.

That’s why I’m here: to give you the basics of what I’ve learned about the seven deadly mistakes that could potentially end your long-distance relationship.

1 Compare your relationship to other people’s relationships. Compare your relationship

Constantly comparing your relationship to other people’s relationships only makes your partner feel terrible about not being able to give you what you want in the relationship. Be thankful for what you have and understand that you are not the only one struggling with distance – your partner is too.

2 Being intimate with another person Being intimate with another person

“Netflix and chill” of course not with another person. But what might not be so obvious is that you can cheat by being emotionally intimate with someone. There will be times when you might not have much time to spend romantic Skype dates with your significant other. But that’s no excuse for filling that void with the attention of another potential love interest. Your significant other might still see it as cheating even if there was nothing sexual involved.

3 Let your relationship get boring Let your relationship get boring

With oceans between you and only technology to bridge the gap, boredom can quietly creep into a long-distance relationship. Sure, the first few weeks were nice — you had so much to talk about when you first met — but a common problem people in long-distance relationships face is running out of things to say. Don’t limit your relationship to just texting. Be creative and find new ways to spend time together.

4 Does not communicate or listen properly Does not communicate or listen properly

When faced with conflict, some people pucker and don’t listen, while others remain silent and don’t talk at all. Both are bad. For one, if everything you do is in your mouth, then you are not respecting your significant other’s feelings and what they have to say. On the other hand, if you just sit there and don’t express your feelings, then not only will nothing get resolved, but those feelings will likely get bottled up and explode another day. Learn how to deal with conflict even when you’re 1,000 miles apart.

5 Being in love with the idea of ​​love Being in love with the idea of ​​love

You need to know that there will be ups and downs in your relationship. You are both people with your own personalities and flaws. There will be times when you screw up and other times when they screw up. Also, there will be times when your significant other is going through a rough time so he cannot be as romantic or attentive to you. It is important that you are in love with them and not just the idea of ​​them.

6. Don’t give your partner enough time – or give them too much time. Don’t give your partner enough time — or give them too much time

Why bother being in a relationship if you’re not willing to put the time into it? A relationship is a commitment and you cannot neglect it and expect your relationship to live. On the other hand, you can’t spend every hour, minute, or second with your significant other – no matter how much some of us would like to. Make sure you talk to each other at least once every few days, and plan your Skype appointments in advance so you’re on the same page.

7 Deny the mistake and take no responsibility Deny the mistake and take no responsibility

Deny you are wrong and take no responsibility

Nobody said it was easy to swallow your pride. But think of it this way: is protecting your own pride worth losing your relationship? By repeatedly denying that what you did to your significant other was wrong, you belittle them and invalidate their feelings. Acknowledge that you hurt her and apologize. (Your apology should not contain the word “but”.

Long distance relationships can feel very lonely.

You might not have expected this when you first started dating. I know I didn’t do it. I expected to be sad and miss my friend. But the loneliness surprised me.

If you’re feeling lonely right now, you’re not alone. Below are three reasons I think long distance relationships can be lonely, as well as encouragement for who to reach out to in each situation.

1. Missing someone is lonely

Loneliness is the sadness you feel when you don’t have an emotional connection with other people.

Then how could a healthy dating relationship be lonely? In a long-distance relationship, emotional connection and commitment are the only things that hold you together.

The reason for this is that in some ways you may find a strong resonance with your friend, but in other ways you may feel distant from them.

You could connect deeply about your personalities, your passions, and your values. But as much as you want to, you can’t connect through the concrete context of your everyday life when you’re in two different places.

turn to your friend

dr Stephanie Cacioppo defines loneliness as “a disconnect between what a person wants or expects from a relationship and what that person is experiencing in that relationship.”

I think that’s a really interesting way of looking at loneliness. If you’re feeling lonely in your relationship with your boyfriend, it may be because your relationship isn’t going the way you expected.

Sometimes you might expect too much from a relationship, like being able to call your boyfriend every day. If you’re feeling lonely because of this, have a conversation about setting more realistic expectations.

But if you are lonely because you expected or wanted to live in the same place now, your desire to be together is fine. You don’t have to let go of that desire, you just have to learn to move on when it goes unfulfilled.

So, reach out to your friend and be honest about how you feel. Focus on maintaining that emotional connection even when you lack context.

2. Long-distance relationships are not that common

I could quote stats and show you how much traffic this site gets to prove that long distance relationships are more common than you think.

But that won’t change the fact that you don’t have many (or any) close friends who are long-distance dating. Why is this so difficult?

I think that’s because every dating relationship, as it grows, becomes a very important part of your life. And whenever other people don’t understand a significant part of your life, you feel lonely.

I can compare it to the experience of moving to another country with my husband. For seven months, my life was different in almost every way from the lives of my friends and family back home.

Whenever someone called me to catch up, I knew they cared. But I also knew that she had no idea what to ask me. This part of my life was a mystery to her because she had no experience with it.

In the same way, your friends may want to sympathize with you, but all they can do is show sympathy.

Turn to Jesus.

When do you think you won’t feel lonely anymore?

I hoped the loneliness would end when the distance ended. Then I hoped it would fade when I got married. Then I hoped that it would finally end when I got to know my friends better.

You can and should try to deepen your relationships, but there is a level of love, understanding, and attention that other people cannot give you. Not even your spouse.

I’m still learning how to trust that Christ is enough for me. To satisfy my deepest need for connection and validation. I want him to be my closest friend, but sometimes I wonder if that’s possible.

But then I think of persecuted believers in solitary confinement, and I know Christ is with them. I think of Christ himself on the cross and I know that he loves me more than anyone else.

Like the friend I would like to have, I know he has reached out to me before I even thought of reaching out to him.

3. Our own struggles consume us

The final reason long distance relationships feel lonely is that we have a hard time seeing beyond our situation.

I don’t want to minimize the pain of distance. I lived and felt this sorrow.

But I also find it sad how easily I forget that other people are lonely too. I’m so consumed by my own struggles that I forget to listen when it’s my friend’s turn to speak. I keep the cycle of caring-but-not-really.

So, my final encouragement to you and me is…

Contact everyone

Really everyone. Show someone you care and there you are. With the love you received from Christ, you can love others.

The beauty is, the more you reach out to people who are different from you, the less you will care that your life isn’t the same.

God’s family is diverse, like a body made up of different parts (1 Corinthians 12:12-14). Because the spine supports our back, our differences actually help us care for one another more humbly than if we were the same.

And even if your caring for someone else is unrequited, just having time to talk about your own problems will bring you perspective on the suffering and understand how your friends are feeling.

Read on: When Others Can’t Relate: 3 Lies Told About Loneliness

There is no doubt that being in a long distance relationship can be difficult. If you’ve been doing it for a while — or if you don’t know when it’s going to end — it can be difficult to maintain that closeness. But when you’re in a long-distance relationship, it’s crucial that you commit to making it work. “The number one rule for a long-distance relationship to work is to believe it’s the right answer,” relationship coach and Maze of Love founder Chris Armstrong tells Bustle. “As simple as it sounds, skepticism is the number one killer in long-distance relationships. Couples who ‘try’ but don’t have much faith in them will turn every snag in the relationship into a reason for skepticism, so the relationship will always be a step ahead.”

So, no matter how hard it can be at times, it’s important to make an effort. When you or your partner start feeling lonely or separated, it’s easy for the relationship to drift or resentment to grow. That means you might need to get a little creative finding ways to show you care — but small gestures can make a big difference. Here are 25 little things you can do to make your partner feel less lonely and keep your relationship strong when you’re in a long distance relationship.

Leave 1 voice memos Ashley Batz/Bustle Obviously, communication is the key to keeping a long distance relationship alive. You should still be texting and WhatsApping, but leaving voice notes can be a more intimate way to say hello. Hearing the voice of someone you love can make a world of difference, especially when your partner is going through a difficult time.

2 Get a Couple’s App Creating a small digital home for the two of you can be a nice touch — and there are plenty of long-distance relationship apps that can help you feel closer together. Couple — aka “App for Two” — is a big deal, but it’s worth shopping around to find one that fits your relationship style.

3 Send Care Packages Care Packages are one of the best surprises you can get – fact. Fill a box with half candy, half sentimentality and you’ll make their day.

4 Leave Surprises When You Visit Ashley Batz/Bustle When you visit each other, make it worthwhile by leaving little surprises in their place for them to find after you leave. Maybe it’s her favorite snack or little notes or pictures of the two of you – just hide a few little things to make her smile.

5 Treat them to their favorite meal Fun Fact: You can order delivery from anywhere. When you know your partner is at home having a boring day or going through a stressful time, having his favorite pizza show up at his door can totally make his day.

6. Send flowers If your partner doesn’t find pizza romantic (because they’re wrong), good old-fashioned flowers and chocolates can be a great treat. A little old-fashioned romance can go a long way when so much of your relationship is happening through technology.

7 Keep Making Future Plans Ashley Batz/Bustle One of the hardest things about long-distance relationships is that they can feel endless, so keep talking about the future and making plans. Even if you don’t know exactly when you’ll be in the same place, talk about trips you’ll take, how you plan to decorate your home, or things you’ll do when you live in the same area. It may only be theoretical for now, but it can help you feel closer.

8 Tag Her on Social Media Posts Social media shout-outs can be a nice little surprise — just be careful when you know it’s not really her style.

9 Give them a subscription box Subscription boxes are amazing. My friend gave me a subscription box of vegan goodies that puts a smile on my face every month. You can get subscription boxes for basically anything and it’s a way to treat your partner each month, whether they like craft whiskeys or sheet masks galore.

10 Plan a surprise visit to Ashley Batz/Bustle The easiest way to make your partner less lonely? Make sure they are not alone. Plan a visit to surprise them – and just hope they didn’t want to surprise you on the same weekend or you’ll end up in opposite cities. But then you’ll basically be in a rom-com, so win-win.

11 Plan a Vacation Browsing Airbnb options and booking flights can actually be a lot of fun if you look forward to it. Send each other links and start planning the vacation of your dreams – building it can be almost as satisfying as the trip itself.

12 Make chores for them It’s amazing what you can organize from another city – or even another time zone. If you know your partner is really stressed, you can organize a cleaner, laundry service, or whatever else they need. It will make their life easier and will be a great reminder that someone is in their corner.

13 Share Photos of Your Location Ashley Batz/Bustle It’s easy to get lazy in a long-distance relationship, but the more of your life you share, the closer you’ll feel. Send small photos as you go about your day so they can feel closer to you.

14 Write a letter Who says the love letter is dead? Some emo lyrics and some snail mail combined will have you playing your own little Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy moments.

15 Play Board Games Together You don’t have to be in the same place for game night. Play a board game together online or use Facetime to play Battleship – this way you can access the competitiveness and combat anywhere.

16 Watch a movie on Skype Ashley Batz/Bustle Go for a classic date night option with a bottle of wine and a parade. Skype always works, but apps like Gaze let you watch movies together in real time, no matter how far apart you are. Plus, you don’t have to fight over popcorn.

17 Start the countdown When will you see each other next? Start a countdown. Send your partner a daily update or mark it on your calendars and build excitement as the day approaches. It gives you something to look forward to and can show your partner how much you can’t wait to see them.

18 Make Up a Routine Ashley Batz/Bustle Rituals are important in a relationship and when you live in the same place they come naturally. Maybe it’s a silly dance you do while brushing your teeth or a routine you have for making breakfast together. If you live far away from each other you can still have routines and rituals, you just have to get a little more creative. Maybe it’s a quick good morning phone call, or something you text every morning or night, or a silly inside joke — whatever works for you.

19 Leave Emergency Notes When you see your partner, leave them a stack of small emergency notes sealed in envelopes. If you’re feeling stressed, down, or really lonely, you have a small stash to pick me up to. It’s a thoughtful gesture and one that helps when they need it most.

20 Get Some Accomplices Involved If you feel like your partner is struggling, try getting other people involved. You can team up with nearby family or friends to organize something nice for them — or even find out their schedule from a colleague so you can one day send them their favorite meal.

21 Send a Cozy Gift Ashley Batz/Bustle We often miss our significant other when we go to sleep and feel like we should be in the same bed. Try sending a blanket or pillow—something snuggly—to have close by at night.

22 Invest in the right sex toys There are many long-distance sex toys out there—toys that you can sync with an app or control remotely. You and your partner can feel closer than ever.

23 Send them your perfume The smell is incredibly impressive. So if you have a signature scent, your partner will recognize it. Leaving a little of your perfume or shower gel behind allows them to feel close to you whenever they want.

24 Sext Ashley Batz/Bustle Yup, don’t underestimate the power of a good old sext. You can get totally dirty — or just a little flirtatious so they remember how much they turn you on.