Looking For A Crossdresser? Quick Answer

Current examples on the web

When a carnival is lined up outside her window in a southern Italian town, 15-year-old Benedetta meets Armando, aka Amanda, a young transvestite who runs the carousel and sells drugs. — Nick Vivarelli, Variety, February 13, 2022

Porter’s work always showcases the transvestite and transgender issues that are now preoccupying Hollywood. – Armond White, National Review, September 15, 2021

Both Moore and Moxley were cast as modern-day incarnations of the late transvestite (terminology used at the time) and gay activist. — Roxanne Robinson, Forbes, June 21, 2021

The show draws heavily on psychedelic writer Grant Morrison’s series such as Danny the Street, a sentient, transvestite street character. – Trevor Fraser, orlandosentinel.com, August 11, 2020

According to the National Observatory of LGBT Hate Crimes, more than half of these were directed against transvestites, transsexuals and transgender women. – NBC News, March 20, 2020

First, Johnson and Rivera were transvestites, not transgender (a term that came up later). – Madeleine Kearns, National Review, July 5, 2019

Hunter had a strange career revival in the ’80s when eccentric indie filmmaker John Waters hired him on a couple of projects alongside transvestite actor Divine, and the films became cult classics. — Scott Feinberg, The Hollywood Reporter, July 11, 2018

Jesus Christ, Harriet Tubman and a transvestite fairy are all involved in the mystery thriller, which opens March 1st. — Sarah Bahr, Indianapolis Star, July 9, 2018

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What is cross-dressing – and why do we do it?

Cross-dressing (and here we’re specifically referring to men who dress up as women) tends to get a bad rap. The idea of ​​a man enjoying putting on a pair of stockings has traditionally been viewed as ridiculous, pathetic – and downright spooky. It was usually assumed that a marriage would almost certainly fall apart the day a woman found her husband in his underwear; and that a manager would lose all authority if his colleagues knew of his enthusiasm for mascara and lipstick. From this perspective, cross-dressing seems like an admission of failure. Rather than living up to an ideal of strength, toughness, and sheer “normalcy,” a man who enjoys slipping into a dress is viewed as a deviant of a particularly alarming sort.

But in truth, cross-dressing is based on a most logical and universal desire: the desire to be the gender you admire, excite—and maybe love, for a while. Dressing like a woman is just a dramatic, but fundamentally sensible, way of approaching the experiences of sex that one is deeply curious about — and yet (somewhat haphazardly) has been sidetracked from. We know cross-dressing in other areas of life well enough and think nothing of it. A five-year-old boy living in a suburb of Copenhagen and interested in the lifestyle and attitudes of cowherders on the Arizona prairies would be wholeheartedly encouraged to dress up in a hat, jeans and vest and point his gun at you imaginary Indian chief – to satisfy his desire to get a little closer to the subject of his fascination.

We should accept that the adult crossdresser is no different. He, too, wants to inhabit the experiences of a group of people he cares about. He wants to know what it would be like to cross his legs in a tight cocktail dress, to walk across a marble floor in high heels, to feel a gray cotton bra strap encircling his back, to put a small silver bracelet around his wrist to feel the breeze on his bare waxed arms and caress his smooth long legs in the bath. He could stretch out to imagine what it would be like to kiss a man as a woman, feeling bristles that are normally his on lips as soft as those of lovers he has known. The crossdresser admires himself in a mirror in black tights and experiences the intense, fascinating satisfaction of being himself and the object of his desire at the same time.

Imaginative cross-dressing

Strange as it may sound, the transvestite in all of this is guided only by the kind of questions we otherwise admire in writing—and reading—novels. What moves Anna Karenina is the intensity with which Tolstoy could imagine the experiences of a glamorous married woman in love with a handsome army officer. To write Mansfield Park, Jane Austen had to learn how to dress not only in the gray simple dresses of an impoverished sixteen-year-old schoolgirl (her heroine, Fanny Price), but also in the plaited jackets of a proud member of the middle-aged aristocracy (Sir Thomas Bertram). and the black slate of a sensitive would-be minister (Edmund Bertram). Bald, heavily moustached, Flaubert famously explained to his friend Louise Colet that his heroine Emma Bovary had become more to him than a woman he described as a dispassionate observer of a fictional landscape: his identification with her was so total that he felt that he had literally done it to become her. It was therefore understandable that he had added to Louise that he had just masturbated at the thought of being Emma, ​​lying with her arms over her head on a bed in a small hotel in Rouen, being powerfully penetrated by the local landowner Rodolphe.

Transvestism is a way of exercising our birthright to universal citizenship: it is the most dramatic protest against the imaginative limitations of the particular gender province into which we happen to be born. Crossdressing implements the great philosophical principle of the Roman playwright Terence: Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto: I am human, nothing human (including miniskirts or a hair band) is alien to me.

The liberation of cross-dressing

Of course, it can be a little disconcerting to feel that you’re not actually so firmly attached to the gender you were born into. It may be confusing to have to accept that in your heart, in your semi-conscious mind, you will always be something far more diverse, multi-faceted, but perhaps also interesting than just a “man” or a “woman”.

We shouldn’t be afraid. In a number of important areas of life we ​​can accept that our original identity and status should not be taken as decisive; and know the value of expanding our sympathies through art, travel and the work of the imagination. The transvestite does nothing but practice some basic empathic movements that we are already very comfortable with in many areas. Although we haven’t fully realized it yet, cross-dressing is a perfectly normal thing.

Transvestite disorder is categorized as a paraphilic disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) and is characterized by the sexual arousal people experience when dressing or thinking about people dressed crosswise. Males with transvestites also typically have autogynephilia, or a tendency to become sexually aroused when presenting as a woman. The fantasies that accompany autogynephilia can either focus on imagining having female physiological functions (e.g. menses), engaging in stereotypical female behavior (e.g. wearing pink, sewing, etc.) or a feminine anatomy (e.g. breasts).

Diagnostic criteria and specifications

There are several criteria that a person must meet in order for a diagnosis of transvestic disorder to be completed:

The person experiences intense sexual arousal from cross-dressing for at least 6 months, manifesting as fantasies, urges, or actions.

These fantasies, drives, and actions cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of life.

There are also certain disclosures that should be made about people who have been diagnosed with transvestite disorder. Indicate if:

With Fetishism: The individual is sexually aroused by fabrics and materials. This presence of fetishism reduces the likelihood of gender dysphoria in men who also have transvestic disorder.

The individual is sexually aroused by substances and materials. This presence of fetishism reduces the likelihood of gender dysphoria in men who also have transvestic disorder. Having autogynephilia: The individual is also aroused by thoughts or images of themselves as a woman – the presence of autogynephilia increases the likelihood of gender dysphoria in men who also suffer from transvestic disorder.

The individual is also aroused by thoughts or images of themselves as a woman—the presence of autogynephilia increases the likelihood of gender dysphoria in men who also have transvestite disorder. In a controlled environment: The person lives in a facility or other controlled environment where cross-dressing is not possible or restricted.

The person lives in a facility or other controlled environment where cross-dressing is not possible or restricted. In complete remission: No impairment in social, occupational, or other functioning for at least 5 years in an uncontrolled setting.

Risk factors and development DSM-5 302.3 (F65.1)?

No one is particularly at risk of developing transvestic disorder. And while the exact prevalence of transvestic disorder is unknown, it is rare in males and extremely rare in females. In men, the first signs of the disorder may present as an extreme fascination with a particular object normally only worn by women, such as a B. lipstick or a dress. As it progresses, the idea of ​​cross-dressing excites the child. And when puberty hits, cross-dressing begins to cause penile erection. Typically, this sexual arousal reduces overtime, but the desire to dress in women’s clothing may remain the same or even increase. Sometimes the course of transvestic disorder is continuous while appearing in other episodes.

Is there a treatment for transvestic disorders?

Individuals with transvestic disorder alone typically do not seek treatment. The disorder also does not necessarily require treatment unless the affected person experiences severe shame, fear, or ridicule as a result of their sexual interest in cross-dressing. However, therapy can be used to treat the disorder and its negative effects.

differential diagnosis

Symptoms of transvestic disorder can resemble those of fetishistic disorder and gender dysphoria:

Fetishistic Disorder: In order to distinguish this disorder from a transvestic disorder, one must pay attention to the peculiarities of the individual’s thoughts during sexual acts such as masturbation. For example, are there thoughts about being a woman or dressing like a woman? There must also be an analysis of the presence of other fetishes, such as fabrics and clothing, during sexual acts or the like.

To distinguish this disorder from a transvestic disorder, one must pay attention to the peculiarities of the individual’s thoughts during sexual acts such as masturbation. For example, are there thoughts about being a woman or dressing like a woman? There must also be an analysis of the presence of other fetishes, such as fabrics and clothing, during sexual acts or the like. Gender dysphoria: Unlike gender dysphoria, individuals with transvestic disorder typically do not report a desire to be the opposite sex; They also don’t typically have cross-gender behaviors, just cross-dressing. However, the symptoms can coexist, as can the two conditions.

Criticism of Caitlyn Jenner

Caitlyn Jenner is now a household name. Caitlyn, formerly known as Bruce, the all-American athlete and Olympic gold medalist, has been in the spotlight for a while after deciding to transform into a woman. While she says she’s always more or less identified as a woman, it came as a big surprise to many, including her family, they say.

At some point during Caitlyn’s marriage to Kris Kardashian, one of the youngest daughters reportedly entered Caitlyn dressed as a woman – wearing a dress and heels. Apparently this happened a lot during his and Kris’ marriage and Caitlyn says Kris was aware of it. But Kris says otherwise.

So, is Caitlyn Jenner showing or showing signs of transvestic disorder? While Caitlyn has shown an interest in cross-dressing, it does not appear that it gave her sexual arousal, which is a hallmark of transvestite disorders. Also, Caitlyn wanted to become the opposite sex, which is not typical for people with this disorder. Therefore, it’s safe to say that Caitlyn probably never had a transvestite disorder. Instead, she identified as a woman and set this in motion to become her truest, happiest self.

Transvestic disorder is when a person dresses sideways and this causes them distress. However, if a person dresses without fear or concern, they will not be diagnosed with transvestic disorder. A person with the disorder dresses in the clothing of the opposite sex and becomes sexually aroused, leading to feelings of sadness, despair, humiliation, and self-judgment due to their urge to dress transversely. Often the emotions are the result of a partner’s negative reaction to the behavior or when the person doesn’t feel good about it. Perhaps he is also afraid of rejection in the social and professional sphere.

Transvestic disorder is categorized as a paraphilia, a group of disorders characterized by abnormal sexual activity.

Most transvestites are heterosexual and men are more likely than women to have transvestic disorder. Cross-dressing often begins in adolescence or teenage years. In addition, the person with the disorder has long been more likely to assume the role of a person of the opposite sex. In addition, the person may adopt the mannerisms and wear clothing and other items associated with the opposite sex.

Signs and Symptoms of Transvestic Disorder

Feeling the need to dress sexually in order to become sexually aroused.

Using cross-dressing to reduce stress.

Inability to achieve sexual arousal unless the person is wearing clothing, accessories, or other items of the opposite sex.

Playing the role of the opposite sex when cross-dressing.

Continuous and strong sexual feelings arise from imagining or putting on a single or many garments normally intended for the opposite sex. This can be a single item, such as a bra, or multiple items, such as a dress, stockings, and heels.

Buying, wearing, and discarding patterns, clothing, and other items belonging to the opposite sex in order to stop the behavior.

The desires or actions are obvious for at least half a year and lead to serious strains in relationships, careers and exist on a daily basis.

Because of the stress, many people with the disorder are often unable to function in the workplace.

Wearing clothes can lead to sexual gratification when the person is younger. Older people usually postpone acts like masturbation to prolong the dressing process.

People with the disorder who are intimate with a partner often have sex during or after cross-dressing.

Cause of Transvestic Disorder

It is not known exactly what determines transvestic disorder. The disorder has been found in adolescents when they “dress up” before they reach puberty. The activity can remain the same without any change or increase. The desire for sex usually increases during puberty. (In some people, their desires translate into feelings of security, and in men this can lead to a desire to continue the actions for longer periods of time.) As the individual matures and the behavior continues, the desire to wear clothes gives way other sex can become even more powerful.

Transvestic disorders are a rare diagnosis, and the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM)-5* reports that fewer than three percent of men report being sexually aroused by cross-dressing. The disorder is diagnosed almost exclusively in men, and the majority of them are attracted to the opposite sex and sometimes have sex with the same sex.

*The DSM is published by the American Psychiatric Association, which lists all classifications of mental disorders.

Treatment of Transvestic Disorder

Transvestic disorders should be treated by a psychologist or psychiatrist because of the feelings of stress and depression a person experiences. Usually, cognitive behavioral therapy is used to treat individuals with the disorder, with a focus on negative self-perceptions. A therapist can work with people with transvestic disorder to deal with the stress they may be feeling and find strategies to deal with it. (Many people with transvestic disorder do not seek help themselves, but are instead asked by a partner to get help.)

Antidepressants should be considered. It is beneficial for people with the disorder to receive a combination of therapy and medication. When given psychotropic drugs (antidepressants) in combination with antiandrogens (to help minimize desires and their magnitude), people with the disorder may find relief from their psychological desires and fears.

Therapy can be helpful for straight men who have transvestic disorder and want to continue their relationships with women. Their behavior often disrupts partnerships. If people with transvestic disorder are also diagnosed with depression or suicidal thoughts, their participation in therapy is essential.

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Start a relationship with an exceptional advisor

If you see your man walking around your privates or have noticed that he is trying to get out of a dress before you can see it, you may be shocked and confused. Although you might think it’s rare, it’s not uncommon for men to enjoy wearing women’s clothing, and there are a variety of reasons why they do it.

However, it is still one of the taboo subjects and hence you may not know how to react or how to approach the situation because you know very little about it. Don’t panic, because this article aims to help you understand the do’s and don’ts if you find out that your man enjoys crossdressing.

What to do and what not to do

1. Don’t assume your husband is gay

The fact of the matter is that many straight men crossdress and often feel embarrassed because society finds it unacceptable for straight men to do so. So, while your first thought might be that your husband is gay, and while that could possibly be true, it probably isn’t and you shouldn’t assume it.

2. Don’t assume your husband is transgender

Similar to assuming your husband is gay, you can also assume that he is transgender or wants to change gender. As mentioned above, many straight men who like to be labeled as men crossdress. Therefore, do not assume that your man wants to change his gender.

3. Don’t panic and don’t think your relationship is doomed

It’s perfectly normal to panic and get nervous about your marriage, but you need to calm down and realize that this is like any other relationship issue you’ve had before, and you both can work through it — you’re partners for that Life!

4. Don’t tell your friends right away

While confiding in your friends is great, and probably what you usually do when it comes to this matter, for the sake of your partner you’d better not do it. Your partner may not want anyone to know about their cross-dressing and you are not allowed to share it, so it’s best to look elsewhere for advice.

5. Conduct background research on cross-dressing

Before you panic too much or confront your man about it, you really should educate yourself about cross-dressing. This is a touchy subject and something you shouldn’t dwell on blindly, so do your research.

6. Realize that you cannot fix or change this

It’s important to realize that this is a part of your partner that you cannot change or fix. You have to find a way to accept that and work with him instead of against him.

7. Talk openly with your husband

You need to talk to your partner about their cross dressing habits as it is something that affects both of you. Both of you must have clear, honest communication without judgment or prejudice.

8. Make sure he feels in an emotionally safe space

You should always try to make sure your partner feels safe both emotionally and physically, and to talk to them about this matter you need to be sure they feel they can be open and honest with you . For example, confront him at home, not when you’re out with people.

9. Don’t judge him

Imagine if you were feeling vulnerable in a personal matter, would you want to be judged by your partner? Of course not, so make sure you don’t judge him when you discuss cross-dressing with your husband. Instead, listen and be open.

10. Show empathy and try to understand

While you may not fully understand why your partner wears clothes designed for women, you need to try to understand why they do it and show empathy towards them. It’s probably a really big deal for him to even talk to you about it, so try to be understanding and nonjudgmental.

11. Don’t push him to tell you anything

You may want to rack your husband’s head on this subject, but it will be really overwhelming for him when you do. Instead, let him tell you things in his own time and don’t put any extra pressure on him.

12. Ask if he questions his sexuality

Your husband may be straight, as many straight men crossdress, but it’s always worth asking him (in a calm, honest, and open way) if he’s questioning his sexuality. If so, it’s important that you know.

13. Ask how often and where does he transvest himself

You should ask your partner how often and where they transvestate so you can gauge how much time they want to spend looking like the opposite sex and whether they want to do it exclusively at home or in public.

14. Remember your own limitations

Of course, it’s important to practice compassion and understanding, but you should also set your own boundaries. If you’re glad he crossdresses at home but definitely not in public, tell him. If you don’t want him to wear your clothes and would rather he buy his own, tell him.

15. Establish ground rules that you are both comfortable with

As a couple, you need to establish solid ground rules so you’re both happy knowing that no boundaries are being crossed.

16. Support him

A lot of men really struggle with their emotions when it comes to cross-dressing, so make sure you’re supportive of your partner. After all, you are a team and he will support you right away.

17. Make sure there’s always an open conversation about it

If either of you crosses boundaries or breaks common ground rules, it is precisely in this situation that you must work to maintain open and honest communication.

18. Get the help of a therapist if necessary

Some couples in this situation find it valuable to spend time speaking with a therapist and communicating with a local mediator. If you find it difficult to communicate with your partner about their cross-dressing, this is a good idea.

19. Focus on the love you share

We all have things we’d rather keep secret, or parts of ourselves that make us feel vulnerable and condemned, so try not to get too caught up in the fact that your partner is cross-dressing . You love each other and that is what matters in life.

frequently asked Questions

Why does my husband want to wear women’s clothes? There are a number of reasons why your partner might want to wear women’s clothing. Some guys like to dress up in clothes designed for women because they prefer them, because they want to impersonate a female figure for a moment, or because they actually want to change gender. It’s important to remember that cross-dressing doesn’t always mean a man is gay or transgender. Should I let my husband wear my clothes? It’s entirely up to you whether you want your man to wear things from your closet or not. When their husbands are cross-dressing, some women prefer to share their closet with them rather than let them go and buy an entire second wardrobe. Other women, on the other hand, feel uneasy about the idea of ​​their husbands sharing their closet. What outfits do boys find most attractive? It really comes down to personal preference as to which outfit a man finds most attractive to the opposite sex. Some guys are turned on by short dresses and mini skirts, while others prefer long skirts and sweaters – beauty really is in the eye of the beholder here! Frustrated that he’s not paying you as much attention as he used to?

This is one of the most common problems faced by our female readers.

The #1 factor that makes men behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can tell him today. Check out this free video (click the link to watch) my friend recorded that explains how you can become his priority! Should a man tell a woman what to wear? A man should never tell a woman how to dress as it is entirely her choice. Many men feel intimidated when women wear more revealing clothing, but how someone should dress is not their choice. If a guy tries to tell you how to dress and how not, ignore him and dress how you want. What do you call a man who dresses like a woman? Typically, a man who dresses like a woman is called a crossdresser. Cross-dressing usually starts at a young age, and while gay men and transgender people are known to do it, many cross-dressing men are straight and don’t want to change their gender.

Finally

When your husband dresses up as the opposite sex, it can come as a shock and you may find it difficult to deal with at first. Hopefully after reading this article you will be ready to deal with this situation so that you can support your husband and set your own boundaries in a healthy way.

QMy husband likes to cross dress. We have been married for 15 years, have two children and a comfortable home. My husband and I have a very good relationship and I have always known about his desire to dress in women’s clothes.

Sometimes he wears lingerie. And he’s asked me many times to allow him to dress up as a woman when we’re alone, but I’ve always resisted, fearing it might harm our marriage. He never insisted on doing this, he just asked me if he could.

In the past year, however, his work has taken a toll on him. Occasionally he stays out an extra night, and I know that’s the case to fully disguise himself – to do what I won’t allow him to do to me.

He is a great husband and father – we are soul mates and we have a very good sex life. But his desire to dress up worries me, and the fact that his need to dress up is becoming more intense worries me even more. I don’t know how I would deal with seeing him dressed entirely as a woman. I also fear that he might end up living a double life.

A MODERN society sees cross-dressing as an easy choice, even as a whim or just a form of fun. That definitely misses the point. Many crossdressers are driven by addiction. A man who dresses in women’s clothing seeks and receives emotional comfort—very often the deepest emotional comfort.

The psychological steps leading to this are complex and we may return to them, but the rationale is simple. Wearing women’s clothes fills a deep need. And the individual feels a strong urge to dress laterally and to meet this need. He feels compelled. He doesn’t act on a whim. It seems terribly necessary to him.

Of course, different men talk about different sensations — like feeling relaxed, de-stressing, or being whole. But these are just words. There is often a serious psychological burden behind cross-dressing.

I don’t know if your husband falls into that category, although I suspect he does. Otherwise, why would he pursue something that makes you unhappy? He loves you, why would he jeopardize your relationship? Yeah, I know he might not see things that way. Society tells him that he is fine. You’ve sealed off your marriage by setting clear boundaries about his disguise, which he respects. And he thinks he’s found the solution – to pursue his addiction elsewhere. His new job, he feels, has given him an “off”. Unless, of course, that’s not the case. Not really. Otherwise you wouldn’t be concerned enough to seek help.

The reality is that your man is walking a dangerous tightrope in your relationship, a tightrope that is so obvious precisely because you love him, because you are so close as a couple, because of your emotional intimacy.

Of course, what you’re really asking me is whether you can rein your man or whether it would be wise to try. What you’re thinking is if you allowed him to dress up as a woman while he’s with you, then maybe he wouldn’t stay away extra nights and live this de facto double life.

Several answers are required. First of all, you should not do anything that makes you deeply uncomfortable. That would indeed signal the end of your luck. Doing something that deeply offends us doesn’t help a relationship, no matter how well intentioned, because it damages emotional intimacy.

That being said, there’s no reason to assume your man would be content just getting dressed at home. Addiction inherently tends to erupt no matter what controls are in place. If he chooses to dress as a woman, he may also want to appear as a woman, and the privacy of your bedroom may not be enough, especially if he’s already developed a taste for public appearances while away.

Addictive cross-dressing is in some ways just like addictive drinking. You can’t curb it by having a drink together. Of course, many wives gave it a try, thinking that drinking with their husbands would somehow limit their drinking. It doesn’t.

I’m not sure your husband’s need to cross-dress is increasing. It may just be that he has opportunities now that he didn’t have in the past. Because, of course, I’m not suggesting that he—or any other compulsive crossdresser—just gives in to the craving whenever it arises. On the contrary, he’s probably quite struggling with it. In other words, addiction can be fought both by limiting one’s options and by one’s conscience.

Your husband respects your wishes. He also doesn’t disguise himself where his children might see him. So he is not a slave to his addiction. Being away from home makes it easy and seemingly safe.

Your husband’s behavior is ultimately his fault. All you can do is be clear about where you stand. Doing something you fundamentally dislike will not help you. More importantly, you are aware of the limits of your influence. You cannot curb, much less cure, your husband’s behavior by giving him the freedom to take it into your bedroom, living room, or kitchen.

All you can do is inform your man of the risk he is taking. Let him know how desperate you are, how worried you are, and how damaging it could be to your marriage. After that, you have to trust that it’s his fault. Your husband can address his need for cross-dressing if he chooses. There are many therapists out there who know the score. It is his decision. It’s difficult, but he has a choice, not an easy one, but a choice.

Transvestism involves recurrent and intense sexual arousal from cross-dressing, which may be manifested in fantasies, drives, or behaviors. A transvestic disorder is transvestism that causes significant distress or functional impairment.

Transvestism is a form of paraphilia, but most crossdressers do not meet clinical criteria for a paraphilic disorder; These criteria require that the person’s fantasies, intense drives, or behaviors cause stress, interfere with functioning, or harm others. The condition must also have been present for ≥ 6 months.

“Crossdresser” is a more common and acceptable term than “transvestite”. Cross-dressing and transvestic disorders are extremely rare in congenital women.

Heterosexual men who dress in women’s clothing typically begin such behavior in late childhood. Up to 3% of men have cross-dressed at least once and been sexually stimulated as a result, but far fewer report regular cross-dressing. Cross-dressing, at least initially, is associated with intense sexual arousal. Sexual arousal generated by the clothing itself is considered a form of fetishism. However, in common usage, the word is often used to describe certain sexual… read more and can occur with or independently of cross-dressing.

Personality profiles of cross-dressed men generally resemble age- and race-based norms.

If their partner is cooperative or willing to participate, cross-dressed men may engage in sexual activity in partially or fully feminine clothing. If their partner is uncooperative, they may feel anxiety, depression, guilt and shame due to their desire to dress sideways, and experience sexual dysfunction in their relationship. In response to these feelings, these men often declutter their wardrobes from female clothing. This purge may be followed by other cycles of accumulating women’s clothing, wigs and makeup, with more shame and guilt, followed by purges.

Diagnosis of Transvestic Disorder Specific Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) Criteria Diagnosis of transvestic disorder requires the following: Patients have been repeatedly and intensely aroused by cross-dressing; Arousal is expressed in fantasies, intense urges, or behaviors.

These fantasies, intense urges, or behaviors cause significant distress or interfere with functioning at work, in social situations, or in other important areas.

The disease has been present for ≥ 6 months.

Key Points Most crossdressers do not meet the clinical criteria for a transvestic disorder.

Diagnose transvestic disorder only if cross-dressing causes significant discomfort or interferes with functioning and the disorder has been present for ≥ 6 mo.

Crossdressers presenting for treatment are usually brought in by an unhappy spouse, referred by courts, or referred themselves because they are concerned about experiencing negative social and professional consequences of their behavior.

No drugs are reliably effective; Psychotherapy and support groups can help.

Dear Kristin,

As a therapist, what do you think of little boys dressing up as girls? Sometimes my 5 year old son wants to dress up my daughter’s princess costumes and it really bothers my husband. Do we need to worry?

– Stacy

Children dressing up as the opposite sex are very common (almost as common as parents concerned about this behavior). But rest assured, it’s perfectly normal.

Dressing up and pretending is the activity of choice for children this age. In fact, role-playing is considered a sign of healthy development. Children this age should engage in a variety of imaginative play, and pretending to be a different sex is just one variation. Children are exploring who they are, but at this age they are also very clear on the gender differences between girls and boys. It’s natural that they might want to experiment with being a different gender, just as they might want to pretend they’re a puppy. (Which I doubt an adult would be paralyzed in fear of their child wanting to become a dog).

Case in point: When my son Jafta was in preschool, he especially loved the Snow White costume in the roleplay section. At the end of the year, the preschool sent home a photo album from the children and there were numerous photos of my son in this dress. Now as a 6 year old he is obsessed with his Spiderman costume and would probably die of embarrassment if I showed him the pictures of his princess phase. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that).

Our society seems to have a certain unease about boys dressing up as girls, and part of that has to do with fears surrounding gender identity and sexual orientation. These are two separate factors of a person’s identity, but dressing up as the opposite sex as a child is unlikely to affect either, nor is it likely a predictor of either.

I will briefly mention gender identity disorder because it can be very annoying for some children. This disorder is characterized by a persistent desire to be the opposite sex—not a desire to occasionally dress as the opposite sex. If a parent has a child who consistently expresses a desire to be the opposite sex, it would be good for them to see a therapist who specializes in this disorder. HOWEVER, I feel compelled to point out that while gender identity disorder affects less than 1% of the population, transient cross-dressing likely affects every child at some point. (You tell your husband to relax).

The best reaction to a boy dressing up as a girl is not to make a big deal out of it – either way. How would you act if your child dressed up as a firefighter? Because that’s about the same level of interest that cross-dressing should generate. Shrinking in horror or showering your child with praise will only send a message that something is wrong.

The only consideration I would make as a parent is to help your child make informed decisions when leaving the house. Children can be cruel, and you might want to leave the princess dress at home if you know you’re going to be in an environment where teasing is likely. Currently, my four-year-old loves wearing his sister’s princess shoes. His favorite dress-up outfit is a Jedi Knight costume with pink heels. I’m guessing he’s enjoying the shoe-knocking, but who knows? Maybe he just likes that they glitter. However, when we pick up his older brother from school, I remind him that children might make fun of him if he wears the shoes. Usually he decides to switch.

The best thing we can do to encourage healthy gender identity in our children is to make them feel like they have a variety of interests to choose from without gender confusion. We should help our boys understand that being sensitive, caring, or artistic doesn’t compromise their masculinity. We should help our daughters feel free to be athletic or ambitious without threatening their femininity. And we should talk off the edge if our boys want to dress up as girls, because really… it’s no big deal.

Tell me: have you struggled with your children’s interest in things that are specific to the opposite sex? Leave your answer in the comments below.

Take It or Leave It is an advice column by Kristen Howerton, family therapist, mother of four and author of Rage Against the Minivan. Kristen lives in Costa Mesa, where she spends her days strategizing on how to keep her family of six happy, healthy, and chaos-free. She rarely succeeds in the latter, but enjoys the journey. Here she shares her best parenting hacks and invites readers to get involved in common parenting issues. If you have a parenting question for Kristen, email her at [email protected].

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QMy husband likes to cross dress. We have been married for 15 years, have two children and a comfortable home. My husband and I have a very good relationship and I have always known about his desire to dress in women’s clothes.

Sometimes he wears lingerie. And he’s asked me many times to allow him to dress up as a woman when we’re alone, but I’ve always resisted, fearing it might harm our marriage. He never insisted on doing this, he just asked me if he could.

In the past year, however, his work has taken a toll on him. Occasionally he stays out an extra night, and I know that’s the case to fully disguise himself – to do what I won’t allow him to do to me.

He is a great husband and father – we are soul mates and we have a very good sex life. But his desire to dress up worries me, and the fact that his need to dress up is becoming more intense worries me even more. I don’t know how I would deal with seeing him dressed entirely as a woman. I also fear that he might end up living a double life.

A MODERN society sees cross-dressing as an easy choice, even as a whim or just a form of fun. That definitely misses the point. Many crossdressers are driven by addiction. A man who dresses in women’s clothing seeks and receives emotional comfort—very often the deepest emotional comfort.

The psychological steps leading to this are complex and we may return to them, but the rationale is simple. Wearing women’s clothes fills a deep need. And the individual feels a strong urge to dress laterally and to meet this need. He feels compelled. He doesn’t act on a whim. It seems terribly necessary to him.

Of course, different men talk about different sensations — like feeling relaxed, de-stressing, or being whole. But these are just words. There is often a serious psychological burden behind cross-dressing.

I don’t know if your husband falls into that category, although I suspect he does. Otherwise, why would he pursue something that makes you unhappy? He loves you, why would he jeopardize your relationship? Yeah, I know he might not see things that way. Society tells him that he is fine. You’ve sealed off your marriage by setting clear boundaries about his disguise, which he respects. And he thinks he’s found the solution – to pursue his addiction elsewhere. His new job, he feels, has given him an “off”. Unless, of course, that’s not the case. Not really. Otherwise you wouldn’t be concerned enough to seek help.

The reality is that your man is walking a dangerous tightrope in your relationship, a tightrope that is so obvious precisely because you love him, because you are so close as a couple, because of your emotional intimacy.

Of course, what you’re really asking me is whether you can rein your man or whether it would be wise to try. What you’re thinking is if you allowed him to dress up as a woman while he’s with you, then maybe he wouldn’t stay away extra nights and live this de facto double life.

Several answers are required. First of all, you should not do anything that makes you deeply uncomfortable. That would indeed signal the end of your luck. Doing something that deeply offends us doesn’t help a relationship, no matter how well intentioned, because it damages emotional intimacy.

That being said, there’s no reason to assume your man would be content just getting dressed at home. Addiction inherently tends to erupt no matter what controls are in place. If he chooses to dress as a woman, he may also want to appear as a woman, and the privacy of your bedroom may not be enough, especially if he’s already developed a taste for public appearances while away.

Addictive cross-dressing is in some ways just like addictive drinking. You can’t curb it by having a drink together. Of course, many wives gave it a try, thinking that drinking with their husbands would somehow limit their drinking. It doesn’t.

I’m not sure your husband’s need to cross-dress is increasing. It may just be that he has opportunities now that he didn’t have in the past. Because, of course, I’m not suggesting that he—or any other compulsive crossdresser—just gives in to the craving whenever it arises. On the contrary, he’s probably quite struggling with it. In other words, addiction can be fought both by limiting one’s options and by one’s conscience.

Your husband respects your wishes. He also doesn’t disguise himself where his children might see him. So he is not a slave to his addiction. Being away from home makes it easy and seemingly safe.

Your husband’s behavior is ultimately his fault. All you can do is be clear about where you stand. Doing something you fundamentally dislike will not help you. More importantly, you are aware of the limits of your influence. You cannot curb, much less cure, your husband’s behavior by giving him the freedom to take it into your bedroom, living room, or kitchen.

All you can do is inform your man of the risk he is taking. Let him know how desperate you are, how worried you are, and how damaging it could be to your marriage. After that, you have to trust that it’s his fault. Your husband can address his need for cross-dressing if he chooses. There are many therapists out there who know the score. It is his decision. It’s difficult, but he has a choice, not an easy one, but a choice.

Dressing and behaving in a style or manner traditionally associated with the opposite sex

An Italian Sicilian man disguising himself as a Spaniard photographed by Wilhelm von Gloeden in the late 19th century

Jogappa of South India are associated with Goddess Theof South India with Goddess Yellamma

Transvestism is the practice of dressing in ways traditionally associated with the opposite sex. In some cultures, transvestism is practiced for religious, traditional, or ceremonial reasons.[1] The term is considered obsolete in Western cultures, particularly when used to describe a transgender or gender-sensitive person.[2]

history [edit]

Although the term was not coined until the 1910s by Magnus Hirschfeld, the phenomenon is not new. It was mentioned in the Hebrew Bible.[3] Initially part of the homosexual movement of the Weimar Republic, the first independent transvestite movement developed in the mid-1920s, which led to the founding of the first organizations and the first transvestite magazine Das 3. Sex. The rise of National Socialism stopped this movement from 1933.[4]

Terminology[edit]

The word has undergone several changes in meaning since it was first coined and is still used in different meanings. Today, the term transvestite is generally considered obsolete and derogatory, with the term crossdresser being used as a more appropriate substitute.[2][5][6] This is because the term transvestite was historically used to diagnose medical disorders, including mental health disorders, and transvestism was considered a disorder, but the term crossdresser was coined by the transgender community.[2][7] In some cases, however, the term transvestite is considered more appropriate for use by members of the transgender community than by those outside the transgender community, and some have reclaimed the word.[8][9]

Etymology[ edit ]

In 1910, Magnus Hirschfeld coined the word transvestite (from Latin trans-, “over, over” and vestitus, “clothed”) to refer to the sexual interest in cross-dressing.[10] He used it to describe people who habitually and voluntarily wore clothing of the opposite sex. Hirschfeld’s group of transvestites consisted of both men and women of heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and asexual orientation.[11]

Hirschfeld himself was not happy with the term: he believed that clothing was just an external symbol chosen based on various internal psychological situations.[10] In fact, Hirschfeld helped people achieve the first name changes (legal first names had to be gender-specific in Germany) and performed the first reported sex reassignment surgery. According to today’s understanding, Hirschfeld’s transvestites were not just transvestites, but a large number of people from the transgender spectrum.[10]

Hirschfeld also noted that sexual arousal was often associated with transvestism.[10] In recent terminology this is sometimes referred to as transvestite fetishism.[13] Hirschfeld also clearly distinguished between transvestism, as an expression of a person’s “contrasexual” (transgender) feelings, and fetishistic behavior, even when the latter involved wearing clothing of the opposite sex.[10]

One of the most outspoken activists to emerge from the Stonewall Riots was Sylvia Rivera, who founded Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries. In a 1971 essay, “Transvestites: Your Half Sisters and Half Brothers of the Revolution,” Rivera wrote, “Transvestites are homosexual men and women who dress in clothing of the opposite sex.”[14]

After all the changes that took place in the 1970s, a large group was left with no words to describe themselves: straight males dressed in traditional female clothing. This group was not particularly comfortable with the term “transvestism” and so adopted the term “crossdressers.”[15] Crossdressers are men who wear women’s clothing and often both admire and imitate women, but identify themselves as different from gay men and transgender people and generally deny having any fetishistic intentions.

When cross-dressing for erotic purposes occurs for a period of at least six months and also causes significant distress or impairment, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders considers the behavior a mental disorder and uses the psychiatric diagnosis of transvestite fetishism.[ 16]

culture [edit]

In some cultures, transvestism is practiced for religious, traditional, or ceremonial reasons. For example, in India, some male devotees of the Hindu god Krishna, particularly in Mathura and Vrindavan, dress in female clothing as an act of devotion to pose as his consort, the goddess Radha.[17] In Italy, the Neapolitan Femminielli wear wedding dresses, called Matrimonio dei Femminielli (wedding of the female men), a procession takes place through the streets, a tradition apparently of pagan origin.[18]

Image gallery[edit]

See also[edit]

Notes [edit]

References[edit]

Further Reading[edit]

The dictionary definition of transvestite at Wiktionary

According to newspaper reports, in the early hours of a Sunday morning in December 1890, Oscar Johnson was arrested on Kearny Street in San Francisco. The crime? To be dressed in “a complete woman’s outfit”. Upon her arrest, Johnson, who would now be considered a transgender woman, gave her name as Bettie Portel and was given the maximum sentence – six months in prison.

Many may be surprised to learn that in San Francisco, now recognized as a stronghold of LGBT rights, it was illegal to dress sideways in public for more than 100 years. In 1863, as part of a broader campaign against indecency, the city passed a law criminalizing a person who showed up in “clothes not of their sex.”

A new book, Arresting Dress: Cross-Dressing, Law, and Fascination in Nineteenth-Century San Francisco, examines the stories behind this law, its meaning, and the culture it reflects and influences. The work is the result of 10 years of research by Clare Sears, Associate Professor of Sociology and Sexuality Studies at San Francisco State University.

San Francisco was not alone in criminalizing non-normative gender expression, Sears said. Between 1848 and 1900, 34 cities enacted bans against cross-dressing, followed by 11 more in the years leading up to World War I. The San Francisco law remained in effect until July 1974. Arrests were not made until May 1974, when 10 men were arrested in the tenderloin for wearing women’s clothing.

According to Sears, the laws were typically passed in growing border towns that sought to attract middle-class families by cultivating a respectable image — with the primary goal of cracking down on prostitution.

“At the time, many cross-dressing practices were associated with prostitution,” Sears explained. “For a woman to dress like a man communicates to other people that she is more adventurous and sexually available.”

The police did not consistently enforce the law. Women who dressed casually in drag for a night on the town, a popular fashion at the time, were not usually prosecuted. But those whose behavior was deemed more problematic faced harsh consequences, including police harassment, public shaming, hefty fines and jail time.

“It wasn’t really about the clothes,” Sears said. “The laws were enacted against police indecency and trying to create a more sexually respectable city, and clothing was just one way to achieve that.”

The laws had a broader impact than expected. Sears describes a case where a suspected male crossdresser was taken into police custody and subjected to an invasive medical exam – which revealed she was in fact a woman. The police even sent her home with a certificate stating her gender to help her avoid future arrests.

“The law required anyone who didn’t quite fit the narrow definitions of a man’s or woman’s physical appearance to be vigilant,” Sears said.

As well as chronicling injustice, Arresting Dress also contains inspiring tales of resilience and unflinching individuality. In the 1870s, for example, after being arrested more than 20 times for wearing male clothing, a woman said in court: “You can send me to prison as many times as you like, but you can never make me do it again, to wear women’s clothing. ”

Sears was deeply moved by the actions of the people who stayed true to themselves despite the consequences. “It blew my mind that people resisted and protested in this way at the time,” she said. “Today we know that people collectively stand up against this kind of injustice, but back then people were isolated from each other and stood up for themselves individually.”

As a sociologist, Sears did not originally intend to write a history of 19th-century law. She stumbled upon information about the laws while researching how police were targeting gay and lesbian communities and decided this little-known story needed to be shared.

“Transgender communities are becoming more visible, and I think sometimes people think it’s a new phenomenon,” Sears said. “Through these stories, we can learn that people have been dressing and living as the opposite gender for a very long time – and actively fighting for the right to do so. It’s an important part of transgender history. ”

Arresting Dress: Cross-Dressing, Law, and Fascination in Nineteenth-Century San Francisco was published by Duke University Press in December 2014.

– Beth Tagawa