My Boyfriend Wants To Go On Vacation Without Me? Best 173 Answer

You see, he didn’t feel like traveling. Sure, we took weekend trips to the mountains or the beach, but he really couldn’t have cared less about learning about new cultures, languages, and food—all of the things I was really passionate about. We were young and naive and thought we would get through these 18 months abroad. I figured long-distance travel wouldn’t be a problem, my travel bug would die and I’d return home satisfied when my service ended. Although I didn’t think of breaking up before a trip, we broke up during that time. Now let me tell you our relationship ended because I was wrong about all these things, long distance was just one of them.

Back to 2012 and that was me. I was in a serious relationship with my college friend and honestly thought he was the “one”. *Spoilers – it wasn’t him. He wasn’t even close to * I had just been inducted into the Peace Corps after graduation and was counting down the days until I left. So was he, but for different reasons.

We all know this story. Whether we’ve lived there, heard about it, or maybe we’re stuck in it now, it’s a pretty common situation for travel lovers. When you’re in a relationship and one wants to leave and the other doesn’t, what do you do? You probably have thoughts like: How do I convince my boyfriend to go on vacation with me? Or add girlfriend, husband or wife into the mix and it’s all the same messy concoction.

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You’ve seen how I’ve handled the situation in the past, and I vowed never to date anyone who doesn’t share that view. But that doesn’t mean it should be like that for every one of us.

I see posts daily about various tour groups I’m part of and ask strangers for tips on what to do in this situation. Typically, they want to travel, but their S/O isn’t in on it, or worse, they blame them for their desire.

‍There are many well-functioning, happy and supportive relationships out there that are capable of making it work. But how?

You have chosen: your partner or your spirit. It might seem dramatic to some, but that’s how it felt to me. Travel drives me more than most things and I just wasn’t ready to swallow it. *Spoiler 2- I met and married a wonderful man while we were both working abroad in Panama who enjoys travel and adventure as much as I do. And he’s sexy, smart, and kind. So it exists!*

My time abroad didn’t kill my bug, it grew him into an all consuming monster (but a really cute monster that I continue to love and nurture every day).

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I recently connected with Mara, a really awesome girl who joined our community and reached out for a chat. Mara (say hello to her on Insta!) is a nomad at heart, but her partner is more risk-averse and not so keen on the unknown.

Here are some highlights from our conversation and chat with some other travel-loving friends. *For length’s sake, I only focus on when a person in the relationship is looking to move abroad or travel extensively, not just a small trip or weekend getaway.*

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Experience new cultures, languages ​​and food… together

Tips to inspire your partner to travel:

1. Take small steps

Before you take the plunge, try taking a shorter trip to acclimate your partner to the lifestyle. Take a road trip in your home country or take a week-long trip abroad. Stay in accommodation you can afford for your long journey. Don’t go to a resort if you plan on backpacking and staying in hostels during the real thing. Give your partner a real sense of what the experience will be like. You could talk about something for hours, but to really get a feel for it, just do it. The idea of ​​this could be a lot more intimidating than the reality.

Also, make sure that the first flight, especially if it is long, is comfortable. Show your partner that a long flight doesn’t have to be something you dread but instead can be a platform to build up excitement and rest for the journey. Find out some of my flight essentials that I never travel without!

2. Plan your work

If you plan to work online, prepare for it. Learn a skill, build your brand, and even find some customers. If your partner is nervous about the travel life, don’t add a new job at the same time. On the other hand, if you prefer to work in person, find out what kind of job you are suited for. While it is a more difficult path than opting to work online, it is possible to land your dream job abroad. There are so many opportunities out there and many will hire you before you even set foot in the country. Alleviate some of the anxiety and at least know where your paychecks will come from.

Use your LinkedIn account to connect with companies in countries that interest you. Get some tips from someone who’s worked around the world thanks to LinkedIn.

3. Have a home base

Regardless of what job you have chosen, you should consider building a home base. Traveling for a long period of time is exciting, but also exhausting. After years of backpacking life, I was getting tired. My husband and I still love planning trips, but we have chosen to have a “home base” to travel from. A few years ago we lived in Seoul, last year we went to Ho Chi Minh and then we moved to Da Nang before fully committing to nomadism.

‍HCMC is a fantastic base for travellers. It’s centrally located in Southeast Asia, so flights are short and cheap. Rent and living are also affordable, so even if you only use it for a few breaks between trips, it won’t break your budget. It’s really nice to come home from a long vacation, kick off your pants, lie on a couch (which you know is yours) and just not think about your next move for a while. Your partner gets the convenience he/she desires while you’re actually still abroad, which piques your curiosity right at your doorstep.

Trust me when I say there are so many female expats out there. What you propose to your partner might not be the typical path, but you are absolutely not the only people embracing this lifestyle.

4. A break from “normal” is a good thing

Maybe you want to move abroad permanently, but maybe you’re just trying to convince your partner to go out in the world for a year or so. Remind them that professionally it’s a good thing!

‍Some people fear that a year off will destroy them on the job when they return. I have yet to meet anyone who has come back and felt disabled. All your hard work doesn’t go out the window when you leave.

On the contrary, travel is something that is easy to market. It shows that you are open minded and willing to adapt and likely have a different point of view than those who have never got out. Sell ​​it! Also, I guarantee you will learn more about yourself abroad than you would ever learn in your routine.

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Take your relationship to new heights

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5. Express your opinion

Don’t be shy around your partner. Tell them openly and honestly how important travel is to you. Most partners want to make their S/O happy, so tell them how. Don’t suppress your desire or build up resentment. At the same time, ask them to share their fears or insecurities with you, and LISTEN.

6. Compromises are key

If you start the conversation at point 5, be willing to compromise. And I’m sorry, but if compromise isn’t an option, your relationship has a bigger problem than travel. Work with your partner to see what they are willing to do. They may not want to move abroad but are willing to take longer trips. Is that enough for you? This is something no one can tell you how to deal with. It’s so personal and depends a lot on your personality and priorities.

7. Doing things alone is okay

If there’s something you can’t agree on or solve together, as part of the compromise, it’s possible to do something alone, in a way that respects your life together.

I believe you can travel alone if required if you are part of a couple as long as you do so with respect to and for your partner.

‍A few examples: When you save for destinations together, you want to be aware that the money for your trip won’t be deducted from those destinations. Your partner may be okay with you being away for a month or two, but a year may not be an option. Maybe your partner needs a daily check-in or photos, or maybe he’s okay with checking in less often. Setting those rules and making compromises where you can will ensure you have a great trip while keeping your S/O happy.

Solo travel is just as rewarding as traveling as a couple, just in a very different way. I think it’s an experience that people both have in relationships and can’t gain much by traveling alone. Check out the 10 Most Important Things Solo Travel Taught Me to see what you can learn too.

8. At least you tried

Before you leave, let your partner know that nothing has to last. Listen and after a few months see if you are both happy with your current situation abroad. Realize that you can change your travel plans, move to a new city, or even return home. It’s not a failure if it just isn’t for you. But give him an honest chance. Be open to new experiences, roll the punches and get ready for the ride of your life!

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I’m enjoying a short vacation in Vietnam with my S/O

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Now when your S/O gets home, open a bottle of wine, break up the conversation, and start the class. Is moving abroad right for you? to find out where you two stand. It will help you understand what will work for both of you and the steps you need to take to get there. You can do it!

Don’t hesitate to contact me, I’m always available for a chat. Email me!

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Why a dose of solo travel won’t bring about the apocalypse or murder your relationship in your sleep, but could actually strengthen your bond

When you are in a relationship it can sometimes feel like there is an inherent pressure to do anything with your significant other.

This pressure doesn’t necessarily come from the relationship (although some people tend to want to do everything with their partner more than others); Rather, it comes from society, which seems to encourage the idea that if couples aren’t doing everything from shopping to traveling the world, it must mean a breakup is imminent.

Of course, we all logically know that separate lives and hobbies are integral parts of a healthy relationship and that it’s unfair to expect your partner to share the same interests as you, but you can’t deny seeing a friend traveling alone while together were in a long-term relationship would make you question whether or not you were still with your significant other.

However, according to some relationship experts, this is a thought process we should all move away from. Traveling alone, without your significant other, can be extremely healthy for your relationship — in fact, according to Dr. Miro Gudelsky, a sex therapist, relationship counselor, and intimacy expert based in Los Angeles, California, Strengthening Your Bond with Your Partner.

“Solo travel can be so good for the soul!” he says. “You really get a chance to find out who you are and what you like and don’t like. This, in turn, can definitely make your relationships stronger and more satisfying.”

Of course, traveling alone without your significant other — and your significant other alone without you — is something both partners should discuss at length before making any plans. But there are a few reasons solo travel might strengthen your relationship, and they make it worth the effort.

1. It helps you become more confident and prevents you from relying on your partner in unhealthy ways.

like dr Patrick Wanis, a behavior and relationship expert and author of Get Over Your Ex Now, tells us the key to maintaining a healthy, long-lasting relationship is learning your own interests and allowing your partner to learn theirs.

“First and foremost, traveling alone is potentially extremely healthy for you, depending on how you do it. When you travel alone, you have the opportunity to discover yourself,” he says. “Travelling solo gives you both time for yourself in a new environment and the opportunity to experience a new culture outside of your comfort zone – both things that teach you more about yourself and who you are than anything else. ”

This is important because you can’t rely on your partner to be everything to you – you have to be everything to you.

Read more: Is traveling alone okay if you’re not single?

“What a lot of people expect from their partner isn’t just perfection, they expect their partner to be everything to them,” he continues, “and that’s not possible. [Your partner] can be your best friend, your partner can be your companion, but it’s very unfair to say to your partner, ‘You have to be my best friend, you have to be my traveling companion, you have to like everything I do like, and to do whatever I like.’”

The more you know about yourself and the more confident you are, the less you will feel that your partner has to be a copy of you in order to be a perfect match.

2. It allows you to travel the way you want, even if your partner has different interests than you.

According to Wanis, there are often two types of travel, and people generally fall into one category or the other: the tourist and the traveler.

“The tourists are the people who just want to come in and do the basic sightseeing,” he says. “They want to see all the typical hot spots, say they’ve been to this museum and this particular bridge, etc. A traveler is that person who walks in and wants to spend a few days in a city and they want to really get to know and feel the city ​​and connect with its people.

“The tourist is interested in the hotspots, the traveler is really interested in immersing themselves in the culture of the place. So find out what really interests your partner, because maybe he wants to be a tourist and you a traveler or vice versa.”

If you find that your partner has a different travel style than you, a solo trip can allow both of you to have the experiences you want without having to agree on how your time should be spent during your trip .

Similarly, Christine Scott-Hudson, a licensed psychotherapist, marriage/family therapist and owner of Create Your Life Studio, says taking separate trips with a partner who has a different travel style than you can just be a practical solution.

“It’s actually a common thing I hear in couples therapy — couples have very different ideas about the perfect vacation,” she tells Flash Pack. “Separate leave can be a practical solution for everyone. You can hike Machu Picchu with your sister and let your significant other relax with a good book by the hotel pool.”

As both experts note, it’s a healthy strategy as long as both partners are respectful about what the other wants.

3. It will help build the trust you have in each other.

Being separated from your significant other, whether you’re in a long-term relationship or a new one, can be stressful. This is why trusting your partner is so important: Otherwise, you’re just wondering if your partner respects you while they’re gone.

When it comes to traveling alone without your partner, trust between important people couldn’t be more important – things just won’t work if both partners don’t make an effort to make sure the other is comfortable, especially when those solo Travel is where you are or your partner has limited access to phone service or Wi-Fi.

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However, if that deep trust is built while one or both partners are traveling alone, it will be absolutely maintained when the couple gets back together. So how do you maintain or build that kind of trust in your partner while traveling alone, sometimes literally around the world?

According to Michelle Baxo, a love coach with a Masters in Counseling Psychology and founder of Power Love Programs, she has three recommendations for couples who decide to travel separately.

“Call at the end of the day to share. Make sure you both share about your day. However, I do not recommend that you do more,” she says. “It’s important that you both live independently during this time, so don’t text all day.

“{Second,] don’t let your experiences seem more important than the other person’s life at home. Envy may be inevitable as you are doing something exciting and out of the ordinary, but an interest in the person’s life at home is essential.

“[Third] don’t make the person at home feel like they should be worried that you’re cheating on them or that you want to leave them. Let her know you love her and look forward to getting back together soon.”

Wanis recommends discussing expectations about how often you’ll be communicating with your partner while you’re away.

“The frequency of communication with your partner depends on how often you both communicate,” he says. “Find out what frequency of communication your partner needs and what frequency of communication you need. Because you may be traveling to a place where there are big differences in time zones and you may need your partner to get in touch with you. Set that up in advance.”

4. Absence really makes the heart beat faster.

The phrase “absence makes your heart beat faster” is a pop culture staple for a reason: It’s actually true. “Traveling alone can be an excellent practice in a relationship,” Baxo tells Flash Pack. “It allows both people to build their self-esteem and feel more secure as a whole and as a complete, individual person. This is also an opportunity to experience the joy of missing someone. Absence makes the heart stronger.”

In other words, when you’re apart from someone you care about, you’ll appreciate and appreciate the things that make them important to you — things you might take for granted if you see someone on a daily, or even just a regular basis . Even when you’re traveling and enjoying new experiences, you’ll no doubt be thinking of your partner – and ideally looking forward to the next time you see them.

5. It can prove that you are with the right person.

Unfortunately, another way of being apart from your partner is that you might find that you don’t really miss them. Of course, travel can be distracting – from kayaking the waters of Croatia to catching the Northern Lights in Finland, you can hardly fault it for being a little aloof as you discover new parts of the world on your travels.

However, if you’re far too distracted from your travels to think about reaching out to your partner at least on a daily basis, it can be a clear indication that you’re not with the right person.

“Sometimes people are surprised when they travel, but they don’t really miss their partner,” says Wanis. “If you travel alone and you’re away long enough, you’ll really be surprised who you think about most of the time and what makes you think about certain people.”

That, says Wanis, is something you can point out when you’re wondering why you want to travel alone. Is it for new experiences and to learn more about who you are? Or should it take up some space for your partner?

“Have an open conversation [with your partner]. That means speak from the heart and tell him or her why do I want to travel alone? The reason I want to travel solo is because I want to challenge myself, I want to feel free and independent, I want to know more about myself… I don’t know if we’re going in the right direction. You need to make sure you are clear about who you are or what you want in your relationship. And don’t play games with your partner. If you really want to travel solo with no commitments, then do so. Don’t be wishy-washy about why you’re going and what you’re going to do.

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Similarly, Erica Rojas, a Columbia University-trained licensed psychologist and founder of Broadway Psychology Associates in New York, NY, tells Flash Pack that traveling without your partner can highlight problems in your relationship — especially if a partner is traveling along the other does not want to travel alone.

“Is one partner itching to travel without the other to ‘escape’ the relationship due to tension?” she says. “Is the dissenting partner insecure or distrustful of the other if he or she were to travel without them? All of these are warning signs of deeper problems that may arise in the relationship. If that’s the case, the desire to travel solo may come from a deeper source.”

6. You develop healthier communication skills with your partner.

When you’re traveling to the other side of the world, away from your partner, communication is key to keeping things healthy and trusting in your relationship – but as Wanis previously explained, this can be difficult when you’re in a completely different one time zones.

However, there are other ways to ensure that you communicate with your partner in a way that both of you need to, and it boils down to both of you understanding each other’s love language (aka your preferred way of getting affection and love from your partner). to show appreciation). .

“Does your partner have a love language that they need verbal confirmation in?” says Wanis. “Does your partner have a love language of affection? Does your partner have a love language of undivided attention? This is important so you can then say my partner really needs validation so I’m going to text him or her or an email or some other form of communication to say I love you I’m reconsidering you, i miss you

“Maybe you have the opportunity to post on social media and say, ‘Here I am in front of the Eiffel Tower and I really miss my boyfriend or girlfriend.'”

Wanis adds that couples should decide how involved they want the other to be in their journey.

“Do you want them to feel like they’re actually traveling with you or not? And if you want them to feel like they’re traveling with you then you send them lots of little updates, you send them photos, you send them little messages and you say I’m in this place and it’s so beautiful and I am i wish you were here with me So the way to keep the relationship going is to keep communicating and sending messages that let your partner know that you are with them in spirit.

Similarly, Gudelsky says communication is key.

“The idea that you can be away from each other, have your own experiences, and get back together and get even better can definitely strengthen a couple’s bond,” she says. “This requires a lot of communication before the trip so that everyone clearly understands what is at stake.”

7. You will both grow as independent people and respect each other’s independence.

According to Rojas, traveling on your own can be a good reminder that you’re no less individual than you were before your relationship.

“Some of us value our independence and the need to still preserve parts of ourselves that were obvious and true before we entered this relationship,” she says. “Let’s assume this independence is marked by a need to travel and reconnect with oneself. Does your partner also appreciate your need for independence? Do they support you if you travel alone? Can you also support their needs for independence, although they may look different than yours?”

If the answers are yes, then rest assured that you are in a strong relationship – one that will be strengthened by the time apart.

“It’s not just a representation of equal give and take in the relationship,” Rojas continues, “but also a sign that each partner supports the other’s needs for individualization.”

Establishing individual identities while absorbing other cultures, experiencing new things, and seeing different parts of the world will help you respect the other more and also set a good precedent for future times of separation. You both know you’ve traveled solo with one or both partners before – so you know your relationship is strong.

Overall, traveling alone without your significant other has the potential to be healthy for your relationship — and the experiences you gain may even strengthen your bond with your partner when you return home.

Being married means doing everything together, right? Not after the growing number of married men and women who value nothing more than their individual vacation. But what happens to this whole ’til death do us part thing when all it takes to spend some time apart is a great round-trip fare? Are solo vacations a bigger problem or should we all fly solo more often? We spoke to three professionals – Matt Lundquist, LCSW, relationship expert Dr. Kimberly Moffit and Justin A. D’Arienzo, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist – to get to the bottom of the separate vacation phenomenon. Read on for some fascinating insights.

First and foremost, it’s perfectly normal.

“It’s perfectly healthy for a married couple to decide to vacation separately,” says Moffit. The main reason? They’re supposed to be fun. “Different people enjoy different things,” adds Lundquist. “It doesn’t have to be – and how could it be? — that couples always enjoy the same things.” So if your idea of ​​a holiday for your spouse sounds like a nightmare, there’s no point one party putting a damper on the other’s parade just for the camera.

Seeing your partner happy should make you happy.

But there’s an even better reason why separate vacations might work for you — and no, it’s not because absence makes your heart skip a beat. Being able to find personal pleasure in seeing your partner happy or doing something they enjoy is something Lundquist points to as an important cornerstone of any loving relationship. Think of it as the polar opposite of jealousy: this feeling ultimately allows both partners to find joy in a journey, even if only one of them is taking it.

Moderation is the key.

Maya Angelou once said, “Jealousy in love is like salt in food. A little can add flavor, but too much can spoil the enjoyment and potentially be life-threatening.”

We all have that little green-eyed monster inside of us called jealousy. We see things that people have that we want, like a new car or a new phone. Or maybe it’s something less material, like good family relationships or a positive outlook on life.

Regardless, everyone gets jealous at some point in their life. It’s a natural occurrence.

But what happens when that jealousy seeps into your relationship? I’ve seen many couples where one side doesn’t allow the other anything, and it comes from a sense of paranoia that the person they’re dating wants to spend more time with others than with them. It’s a form of jealousy, and a very unhealthy one at that.

If you’re guilty of being the overly possessive type (or know someone who is), then I’ve got news for you:

It’s okay to spend time with other people. In fact, you should encourage it in your own relationship.

Nobody wants to spend 24/7 with one person. If you did, one or both of you would go insane. Sure, work or classes help reduce time together, but it’s not really the same as hanging out with friends.

So if you’re dating someone or in a marriage where you’re dealing with jealousy in one form or another and you find that you get jealous when your partner spends time with their friends or co-workers, take a look These three ways to stop being so jealous and instead build trust in your relationship and in each other.

Here are 3 ways not to be jealous when your boyfriend is dating.

1. Learn to trust your partner.

Jealousy comes from a lack of trust. You worry when you see your partner with someone else because you’re afraid something is going to happen (in an intimate way). And why do you feel like this? Because you don’t trust your partner.

Of course, this feeling can stem from a myriad of reasons—but mostly out of insecurity. You may think they think you’re not good enough, or you think that about yourself. Or maybe you think your partner seems more interested in him/her than you.

Regardless of the reason, there is a two-part solution to this problem. First, if you’re so insecure, talk to your partner about why you feel the way you do. Let her know how you’re feeling. Your partner can’t read your mind, so tell him if you’re jealous. Having the opportunity to talk about it in a low-pressure conversation is a much better way to handle the situation than holding it all and blowing it up later.

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The second part is after you have had that conversation, believe your partner. I know it’s easier said than done, but if you’ve let her know about your insecurities and she’s sympathetic, then you don’t have to worry.

Trusting isn’t easy, but if you’re willing enough to give someone your love, why not your trust?

2. Find your own friends (and hang out with them away from your partner).

No mind wanders more than one idle. If your boyfriend/girlfriend is the only one of you dating, then it’s understandable why your concern grows. If there’s only one person in your life, that’s the only one you think about. So instead of sitting around waiting for them to come back, it’s time to get up and go out on your own.

If you’re not really a social person, I know this can be difficult. Not only do you dislike talking to people, but as a girl you probably have to worry about being hit on. But just because you’re going out doesn’t mean you have to go somewhere crowded. You can go to a store or a park. Anywhere where at least a few people are around. You can even search for event flyers posted on bulletin boards to see what social events are happening.

Even if you have friends, they might be busy, so there’s no harm in trying something new.

If you go and do things while your partner is doing the same, then you won’t think about it nearly as much, especially if you’re having fun.

3. Work on yourself and find out why your jealousy is overwhelming you.

The main reason people get feelings like jealousy or insecurity is because of their insecurity. It’s natural for everyone to have these, and honestly I don’t think there’s a single person on the planet who doesn’t have at least one. But the problem becomes when those insecurities seep into your life in more obvious ways, like when you get so jealous that you try to stop your partner from dating.

Instead of letting yourself stew, use this as the perfect opportunity to work on those insecurities. Try to figure out why you feel the way you do and see what you can do to eliminate those uncomfortable feelings. If you can figure this out, it will benefit not only you but your relationship as well.

Jesse Oakley is a writer who writes about love, relationships, self care and spirituality/astrology.

If your boyfriend has ever given you reason to doubt your trust in him, then it makes sense that you should be concerned. However, if he is trustworthy, that fear likely has more to do with your own insecurities and fears. Even knowing he loves you, having low self-esteem and feeling like you’re not good enough for him can trigger anxiety. So that’s something that’s important to work on. When you feel better, you will also feel more secure in your relationship. And it is important that you do so. People can usually sense their partner’s anxiety about such things and feel pressured by it, even if their partner doesn’t tell them. If your boyfriend notices that going out with friends upsets you, he may tease you for making him miss something between making you feel bad.

Such a simple, easy and innocent situation as being with your friends can provoke conflict in the couple, because something is happening inside you, you do not know what, but to think “my partner left without me and I get jealous when that happened”. you on and a lot.

Surely you can think of a moment when your partner decided to make plans with his friends and you got angry…

Honey, on Friday I’m meeting Juan, Fer and Vicente, we haven’t seen each other for almost a year. Between work and other things, we haven’t found a chance to see each other until now.

And you meet her alone? Can I go?

Well… I’d rather meet her alone to talk about our stuff. Don’t get it wrong. We’ll hang out with them and their partners another day.

Some people get angry when their partner hangs out with their friends. In this article we will discuss the steps to understand how to control jealousy, improve and leave behind this behavior that leads us to enter the dynamic of distrust that can be very damaging to our relationship.

Couple conflict: I get jealous when my partner goes out with friends

Getting angry at our partner for hanging out with people without involving us, and arguing that this anger is because we love them and can’t bear to be far away from them, masks a feeling of jealousy and distrust.

A relationship is based on trust and respect. And maintaining a healthy social life is just as important for self-esteem as having a good relationship. Perhaps this couple’s test will be helpful in assessing how healthy your relationship is.

Feeling occasionally jealous is normal, but if the behavior is repeated frequently, it is necessary to exercise self-criticism as it may be an indication of a problem which, if sustained, can cause a crisis in the couple.

If you are very disturbed by your partner’s plans that you are not involved in, try replacing the angry thoughts: “My partner has the right to have his space, when I fell in love with my partner, you were independent and I loved that if my partner is happy with his life, he will be happier with me”. You can read more about what jealousy is here.

Why do we get angry when our partner is dating others?

It is good that we learn to distinguish between two types of jealousy:

rational jealousy

We feel them when we think we might lose the person we love. These thoughts can bother us or make us angry, but they do not provoke further conflicts in the couple, because the foundations of the relationship allow communication and finding a solution together so that jealousy can turn into trust.

If this is the case for you, to prepare the conversation, think about this: “My partner does some things that make me insecure. My insecurities are something I have to deal with. I will speak to my partner to tell him I am jealous and why he is acting this way and if I have any concerns or if he is willing to help me feel safe again.”

Irrational Jealousy

This type of jealousy occurs when attention becomes a demand. We demand that our partner is with and for us. When we feel this kind of jealousy, we don’t want our partner to be related to anyone other than ourselves as we see it as a threat to the relationship.

If the thought is, “I’m jealous, I feel bad and unloved when you go out with your friends because I think you don’t want to be with me…” it can create a problem in the couple as it becomes more difficult is to control them.

People who sense this jealousy and don’t work to rationalize it often cause the opposite of what they’re looking for: their partners distance themselves from them by overly suffocating and lacking personal space. Pathological jealousy can mask emotional dependency and low self-esteem.

Other reasons for anger

It may also be that the anger is triggered by fear of abandonment, either because we have previously had a partner who left us, or because something in our personal configuration makes us feel like we are constantly being abandoned.

Sometimes the anger isn’t caused by jealousy, fear of abandonment, or emotional dependency, but simply because our partner’s friends aren’t to our liking at all.

And, even if you don’t believe it, when none of these options fit, but emotions run high when one partner wants to do something without the other, anger may have its roots in boredom: when a person doesn’t have more hobbies, dreams, or activities not directly related to their relationship, the sense of boredom that occurs when one of the members is temporarily absent is perceived as harm caused by that person and can generate frustration and resentment.

imagen: Your partner is your companion, not your property. Respect their space and you will both be happier.

Tips to not burden your partner and have a healthy and happy relationship

#1.- Streamline

Don’t get carried away by negative thoughts and think about what they are really doing with their friends and not what you imagine. If your own fears are blocking you and preventing you from creating these images in your head, feel free to ask your partner for some details of their plans so you can understand what they’re doing when they go without you.

Without invading or questioning your privacy, of course. Simple and friendly questions like “Did you have a nice dinner?” or “Has your friend Fer gone?” will be enough for your partner to tell you some things that will help put your mind at ease by giving a clearer picture of the meeting you were not present at.

#2.- Boost your self-esteem with positive thoughts

I find my partner’s girlfriend beautiful and sexy and that makes me insecure and suspicious. Streamline. You have many qualities too and in fact your partner loves you and appreciates you for who you are. Moreover, there is even a chance that the very physical or personality trait that you find so attractive in your partner’s friend and that you think you lack is something your partner doesn’t like.

So instead of obsessing, do what you want your partner to do: love and appreciate what feels good, so good. Also, your partner has known this friend for years, probably knew him before he knew you: if he wanted to be with him, he would be with him, right? The reality is they are with you because they want to be with you! Make sure of it and you will avoid a lot of headaches.

#3.- Reclaim your space

Call the friends you haven’t seen in a long time. Your world is not just your partner. You need the love and affection of your family and friends to feel good and secure.

Your friends don’t have time for you? That’s okay. Create spaces and situations where you can meet new and interesting people to share with and without your partner!

Take the opportunity to enroll in that course you’ve been thinking about to perfect your Spanish, or that dance academy you’ve always wanted to attend. Not only will this result in you reclaiming your space and allowing your partner to reclaim theirs, it will serve to surprise them and surprise yourself with an improved version of you!

#4.- Spend quality time with your partner

This is one of the most important tips in couples therapy. Spending time together will not only give you fond memories to think about while your partner is out with their friends, but it will strengthen your relationship and reduce insecurities. If you spend the time you enjoy together arguing, you undermine trust and, in turn, the relationship. Love needs to be worked on and nurtured.

#5.- Learn to be alone

You don’t always have to be with your partner to be okay. It’s healthy to do things separately, have separate hobbies, and know how to be alone. The world doesn’t end and we can enjoy the solitude, enjoy our activities or take time to pamper, read or rest.

Boost your self-esteem and stay away from jealousy and emotional dependency. Your relationship will be strengthened. You can read more about not being jealous here.

If, despite these tips, you feel like you don’t know how to overcome jealousy, it might be a good idea to speak to a professional who will help you recognize your virtues and cultivate your independence.

If you’re looking to improve your well-being, we at TherapyChat can help. We are international leaders in online psychology and have the right therapist for you.

Word to the wise: If you want to test the true validity of your relationship, take a vacation together.

A new Dating.com survey found that nearly 50% of couples break up after their first trip together.

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Alex Kudos, Chief Marketing Officer of The Dating Group, said of their findings: “Our latest survey has highlighted the top reasons why couples travel can strain relationships, many of which some people may not consider before taking their first trip with their partners . The findings below offer a glimpse into what you might unexpectedly experience when traveling with your partner for the first time, as well as some tips and tricks to avoid the resulting turbulence in paradise.”

The most common reasons for a breakup after a trip together include:

-Strange habits

-Strange obsessions

-Punctuality

-Share a bathroom

– See your partner’s true face

-Incompatibility

First trip together as a couple? Attention – https://t.co/XiDsVD1YcT notes that almost half of couples are separated after a trip PR Newswire https://t.co/86SKPLKyed — topdatingswebsites (@top1datingsites) April 12, 2022

Maria Sullivan, Vice President and Dating Expert at Dating.com, says, “A couple’s first trip together is an important milestone in the relationship, whether it happens in the first six months of the relationship or on the honeymoon. Spending several hours with someone is not the same as spending several days with them, and even spending weekends together is not the same as spending several weeks together.”

Her tips for passing the “first trip test” are:

– Do not plan activities without your significant other

– Make sure the vacation is within both budgets

– Book in your own name

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It’s finally time for you and your significant other to embark on the journey you’ve been planning for ages. Your bags are packed, your snacks are settled, and you are basically daydreaming about the fresh environment where you will surely have a prime time and the time has finally come for you and your significant other to take the journey you have been wanting for ages to plan. Your bags are packed, your snacks are settled, and you’re basically dreaming about the fresh environment where you’re sure to have quality time and hilarious holiday sex. But then you’re suddenly snapped out of your trance because “this route has too many tolls and now we have to drive through town, and are you even listening to the GPS?” It says turn right. RIGHT, you idiot.” To be clear, it’s not just you; fighting on vacation, even as part of happy, healthy partnerships, is all the rage.

In fact, bickering with your partner on the road is basically part of the journey. And when your ultimate destination is a totally non-sexy place, like the double bed in your parents’ house, expect tensions to be particularly high. But whether the journey was born out of obligation or was meant to be leisurely in nature, what is fueling this argument anyway? Why are we so prone to fight more with our partner when we travel?

“When people are overtired and exhausted, they don’t have the patience to take even one more drop of stress from their partner.” – Relationship therapist Laurel Steinberg, PhD

According to relationship therapist Laurel Steinberg, PhD, more than a few factors are fueling those flames, but there’s one overarching key reason to understand: Travel itself is inherently stressful. “You have to take taxis, planes, cars and boats to get to your destination, which is tiring and annoying, and then when you get to your destination you often have to adjust for the time change and then get up early to get going to get the most out of your expensive vacation,” she says. “When people are overtired and exhausted, they don’t have the patience to endure even a drop of their partner’s stress. As a result, their low frustration tolerance translates into a temper, and boom, a fight ensues.”

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Sure, it might sound like a champagne problem, but the exhaustion component is no joke. Research shows that couples tend to fight more when they’re having a bad night’s sleep, and even the most wonderful neck pillow can only do so much for snoozing while driving.

A lack of sleep quality and quantity isn’t the only issue contributing to increased stress levels while away. Also at play is the phenomenon of inability to unplug – both in general and in relation to work-related responsibilities. Because even though you’ve saved your vacation days for whatever getaway, many still find ignoring their work email difficult in practice—and it takes a toll. In fact, a survey by organizational consulting firm Korn Ferry showed that the habit of working while traveling is what couples fight about the most while away.

So, if the previously mentioned components remain constant, consider what might happen if something in the itinerary doesn’t go to plan. Because let’s be honest: It’s very likely. When something goes wrong, the tension mounts even more. While travel can bring couples closer, there may be such a thing as too close, which leads to volatility and constant butting of heads.

Fighting on vacation might just be a part of every travel plan, no matter how lucky you and your significant other are. But to keep things as calm as possible, practice self-care and tend to mindfulness — and always, always, always pack a few extra snacks.

Even if you don’t spend a lot of time fighting on vacation, you might still feel exhausted when you return home. Here’s why you feel like you need a vacation from your vacation, and here’s how one happiness expert says you can maximize that good feeling while you’re still away.

Avoid the zip line blame game

Your hotel is 10 miles and a very unreliable shuttle bus ride from the beach. There’s a zip line reservation with your name on it, but your sneakers are 7,000 miles away in your closet. That makes you angry. That’s all his fault. So true. And yet so easy to avoid—if you research your trip together. Before making any non-refundable decisions, make sure you both subscribe to the following four key areas: This is less about geography and more about atmosphere. You’ve been dreaming of a quiet, romantic getaway, but you end up at a family-friendly resort overrun with screaming kids. It’s not going to make either of you happy – and unhappy people are more likely to fight. If one of you enjoys sitting by the pool but the other needs more action to have a good time, find a place that has options for both of you in close proximity so you don’t waste time and energy trying to figure out how You Do It Anyone can do whatever they want, says Geraldine Rojales, director of guest services at the Kahala Hotel & Resort in Honolulu, Hawaii. You know that. You can be sure that your passport is up to date and always keep track of your seat assignment. Except…if you forget. Showing up at the ticket counter without the proper papers is guaranteed to make someone lose their temper. Or go insane (as happened to an acquaintance who spent her 40th birthday with her husband at the Boston Passport Agency instead of with two other couples in sunny Barbados). Double check that both your passports are up to date at least two months in advance. (The U.S. Passport Agency advises that renewals take four to six weeks by mail.) And determine if you need a visa before you leave. Brazil, India and Russia are three locations that require them for US citizens. Although some countries allow you to buy a visa on arrival, many countries require you to pay in cash (like the Dominican Republic). Be sure to stop at the ATM before boarding the plane – or risk finding one at the border. Money is one of the biggest issues couples fight over in the privacy of their homes; The stresses of travel, not to mention fluctuating exchange rates, unfamiliar tipping guidelines, and other holiday surprises, can uncover fault lines in even the most unlikely of couples. Before you go, decide on the total expenses you can afford and figure out where you’re spending money (hotel or private tours) and where you’re saving (living on cheese and bread for a week). If you’re on a tight budget and want to do more with less, Seper recommends traveling to developing countries like India or Thailand (he and his wife averaged $25 a day on their round-the-world trip), where it’s easier to budget Booking off-season is likely to save you some cash, but it could mean spending your entire trip in a hotel room with your partner… with just one TV channel in English. Check multiple weather sources (not just what’s on your hotel’s website) and find a graph that shows the average rainfall and temperature for the location and month you’re planning to travel to. Also, research what time of day is hottest and coolest so you can plan activities accordingly — and don’t end up doing that nature hike when it’s 105 degrees outside.

Many women go through the emotional discomfort of having to deal with partners who want to end the relationship. This situation can be quite traumatizing and uncomfortable as most women do not know how to deal with such situations.

Will you beg and convince him to stay? Or do you ignore him and let him have his way?

It’s heartbreaking when you’ve given so much love, but it’s not enough to keep you together. What else does he need? More time or commitment?

Besides, how do you get back together with someone who’s made it clear they don’t need you in their life? Even after you’ve tried everything you think that person needs?

You may not know this, but not every failed relationship is irreparable, some men just need a little convincing and maybe even a character change.

want to know how Stay tuned as I am sharing the steps necessary for your husband to stay even though he wants to leave.

7 ways to capture him

1. Don’t chase him or look desperate

Chasing a man is never an option in a situation like this. Love comes naturally and is never forced. If it takes you a lot of energy, effort, and time to get back together with this guy, chances are you will continue to do so for a long time.

Therefore, one of the ways to catch him when he wants to leave is not to pursue him or act desperately. This will send him a strong signal that you know your worth and are not being hopeless or cheap. This person is probably used to you begging them, so they might come to their senses if you don’t.

2. Please give him an open ear

Apparently there are several reasons why your husband would want to leave in the first place. It is your responsibility to find out what these reasons are and how to address them. Listening to him when he vents his anger is crucial.

Listening will give you solid knowledge about why he wants to leave the relationship. You don’t want him to think you don’t care about him, and sometimes that’s all there is to it.

3. Surprise him with a gift

Everyone loves the right surprise package. In this situation, it would be helpful to think creatively about something he would like and surprise him with it. Even if you think he might not need it, giving this person a gift can soften his heart. This surprise might buy you some time to plan your next move.

You know this person better than me, what does he like? Better yet, think of something thoughtful, it might even be an experience you both shared early on in the relationship.

4. Be his peace

Among the many things a man wants in a woman, one of the most important is peace of mind. As a woman, you should be a source of peace to your husband. When it gets to the point where he wants to leave, nagging about it or starting an argument isn’t going to make things any better.

Instead, it would help if you look for ways to show him how much peace he can get by staying with you. Be calm, pay attention to his needs, and respond to him subtly. Maybe this time he sees that you are a changed person and decides to stay with you.

5. Be your best self

Being your best self means being the best you can be, emotionally and physically. Men are visual creatures by nature; They are very attracted to physical appearance. So if you want your man to stay, you need to look good and act even better. Make him want more and more every time he looks at you. Make him feel needy every time the thought of you crosses his mind.

When he says he wants out, it’s time to show him you’re willing to work on yourself. Maybe hit the gym, keep fit, and eat healthy. In the same way, being emotionally stable is also a necessity. This includes taking care of your emotional issues and not being put off by mood swings and negative moods.

6. Respect him

Pride has caused the breakdown of many relationships because people want respect. It’s important to keep your ego in check, apologize when necessary, and take responsibility for your actions without shifting the blame.

It’s possible that one of the reasons he wants to leave the relationship is related to your past behavior. So if you intend to get him to change his mind, you should swallow your pride, apologize, and if necessary, show remorse for your mistakes. When that’s done, work on how you treat him, don’t yell or say demeaning things to him, nobody likes that.

7. Appreciate him

Some people have different preferences when it comes to caring and affection. It is your place to know your partner’s love language and use it correctly. Perhaps one of the reasons he intends to leave is because he doesn’t get the affection he desires.

How about you start loving him the way he prefers? This could result in him staying in the relationship. One way to learn how your partner prefers to be loved is to pay attention to how they show you affection. Is he a loud guy? Does he like public declarations of love? Or does he like giving gifts?

frequently asked Questions

How do you keep him from leaving? There are actually several steps you can take to keep your man from leaving you and one of them is communicating your feelings to him by telling him how much you love and appreciate him. Also, let him know how much he means to you. Also, face your fears of losing him and finally love yourself first then you can love him better. These tips will help you stay above depression during this challenging moment. How can I make him stay? It’s time to swallow your pride, be his peace, listen to his side of the story, argue responsibly, be there for him when he needs you, argue with him, and be compassionate. What’s more, you can plan a surprise package for him, make the best of yourself and not chase after or act desperately when he decides to leave. Should I convince him to stay? It should never get to the point where you bring yourself down to the point of begging and begging a guy to stay with you. You can only go so far as to give him plenty of reasons not to go, but you cannot make him stay. However, if he insists on walking away, let him go. Don’t convince him to say there will always be a better option for you once he walks out the door. Will he come back if I leave him alone? Chances are that people who left a relationship later realized how much their partner meant to them. So don’t worry if he disappears from your life; He will miss you at some point and want to come back. Distance, they say, makes the heart beat faster. Frustrated that he’s not paying you as much attention as he used to?

This is one of the most common problems faced by our female readers.

The #1 factor that makes men behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can tell him today. Check out this free video (click the link to watch) my friend recorded that explains how you can become his priority! Will leaving make him come back? Leaving should trigger some nostalgic feelings in him that would make him want to come back to you. However, this depends solely on the situation that justified the breakup in the first place. If you cheated, cheated, or verbally abused him, it might be harder for him to come back.

To sum things up

I think I’ve effectively answered many perplexing questions in your mind about how to make your man stay. The essence of this article is to help you keep your man without humiliating yourself in the process. In some cases, if he doesn’t have genuine feelings for you, it’s better to let him go.

If you found this article helpful, please share it with family and friends.

If you’ve just started a new relationship, things are probably feeling pretty exciting. You get butterflies every time you see this person and agonize over how to reply with the perfect text. You want to spend as much time as possible with your new love – and you might even consider booking a romantic vacation together.

But no matter how good things are going, you might just want to wait a while before buying two seats together for a long weekend getaway.

Couples should wait until they’ve been happily together for seven months before going on vacation, according to a new survey.

Getty Images

The survey, commissioned by exclusiveprivatevillas.com, polled 1,500 British citizens and found that a fifth of couples who tried to holiday together seven months ago ended up breaking up. Of those respondents, eight percent said they didn’t even wait until they got home to finish things.

The survey concluded that problems can arise because couples don’t know each other well enough so early in their relationship to deal with the unique stresses of the holiday.

“Holidays can be a time for relaxation and stress relief, but it can also be a breeding ground for the kind of irritation, despair, and potential disgust that can arise when you’re forced to take a stressful trip, a small hotel room, and — even worse – a shared toilet,” said psychologist Judi James of the survey results.

The findings are backed up by another survey commissioned by Visit Anaheim, which found the 10-month mark is the best time to travel together.

So if you’re dreaming of a romantic getaway with your new sweetheart, maybe keep daydreaming until you’re pretty sure what it’s going to be like being stuck on a delayed plane together.

Travel is good!

Travel opens the mind! Enlighten your senses! Enriches your knowledge of different cultures. Traveling is like an investment in yourself. You are exposed to new people, new lifestyles, new ways of thinking than the people you are used to in your home country. This will make you feel more open to new insights and your perspective on the world and life. You have a new meaning for your life! So if you’re feeling stuck about your purpose and how you want to go about your life, just go travelling, you might just be surprised at what you discover as new meaning

of purpose and direction in life.

These are just some of the benefits of travel. In contrast, there are some people who either avoid traveling or travel very little. Their most common excuses can be summarized as follows:

Economic reasons

Most people are afraid of spending a lot of money on a trip, so they keep postponing it! THIS IS NOT TRUE Nowadays in 2018 you don’t have to be rich to travel. Travel is for everyone. You just have to have a good plan! If you get advice from the experts (uraniamaastravel agency) in advance, they can help you find the perfect trip for you that won’t cost a fortune! There are numerous ways to travel on a budget. It can be done on a minimal budget tailored to you.

No free time, you have to work

This is the second most common excuse given to those who don’t travel. It’s just a question of organization. Occasionally, it’s not just our lack of free time, but the fact that it needs to be balanced with the free time of the rest of the beloved family or friends who are with us to make it a satisfying experience. In the vast majority of cases, all of this is a question of planning. It is not always necessary to participate in a long journey. You can only take a short trip, even that can make you feel better and have one

better mood.

Fear of tiredness and homesickness

In most cases, you return from a trip full of energy! The experience of the trip makes you feel rejuvenated! Homesickness is an inevitable temporary feeling. Your journey has pushed you out of your comfort zone. Of course, these are no reasons to spoil your adventure. On the contrary, this mostly helps travelers appreciate their home more when they finally return home.

No free time to plan and organize the trip

They feel that planning a trip can be devastating and time-consuming, especially if it’s a long-distance trip. You don’t know where to start and how to plan it. On the other hand, do you feel down? Has your everyday life become exhausting? You need some variety. Just take a few days off. There aren’t any and you don’t have to worry about anything. The experts (uraniamaastravel agency) are there to help you and organize it with you for you and finally put together a trip exclusively according to your needs.

Nobody to travel with

Like everything in life, this has its pros and cons. They are very personal and vary in different periods. Don’t have a travel companion? That’s not necessarily a problem! Solo travel is common these days! Many travel bloggers suggest that you should travel alone, and they say it’s their favorite way to travel too! It’s so liberating! For those who insist they want company and don’t have friends and family, we suggest group tours. We can suggest and book group tours to so many different destinations depending on your preferences. You won’t feel alone with group travel, you

You’ll meet new friends with similar interests to yours, and you’ll enjoy the benefits of visiting a new destination!

Don’t speak the language

Not speaking the language of the country you are visiting is not a problem! It’s one of the charms of travel! Occasionally it can be an additional source of fun.

Language barriers are easy to overcome, especially when traveling in a group. There is always a tour guide on site. If you’re traveling alone or with friends and family, Google is the answer. You can also learn some phrases before starting your trip or you can even download some language apps to use throughout your trip.

fear

If something goes wrong on your journey and you get injured or sick, you have no one to help you! That is not true! For your convenience, depending on the country you are going to visit, we can offer you travel insurance. In most cases, travel insurance is not that expensive!

Forget all your excuses not to travel and be more active! Traveling will give you more confidence, you will make new friends, you will acquire new skills, you will become more independent and most importantly, you will have FUN!

This post may contain affiliate/compensated links. For full information see my disclaimer here.

Last updated on 11/06/2022

I met my boyfriend and knew I wanted to travel alone.

I had planned a fairly short three and a half month trip, but the year before that was filled with apprehension at the prospect of traveling while in a relationship.

Would it survive the length and distance? Who knows, but my only certainty was my belief that I had to go anyway.

He knew better than to stand in my way.

I won’t lie, it’s hard leaving your partner at home to travel, but it’s one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. You spend so much time in each other’s lives that it’s easy to lose track of who you are.

Of course you miss them, there’s no getting around that, but if you allow yourself to be apart from them, you’ll find a strength you never knew you had. Here’s why.

Don’t let anyone stand in the way of your dreams

I’m a member of several travel groups on Facebook and I sometimes see people posting about their partners trying to stop them from traveling.

It’s sad to see them agonizing over the choice between their relationship and their dreams.

Unless there’s a very good reason (and one I haven’t encountered yet) if your partner is getting in the way of your travels, then I’m sorry, but I don’t think they care about you – or at least they care for the wrong reasons.

In this situation, your partner just wants to atrophy your world experiences. This behavior is kind of controlling if you ask me.

If they’re too willing to ruin your travel plans, they might just as easily ruin the rest of your dreams and aspirations!

The reality is you don’t owe them anything, and if they try the debt card, that’s a big red flag.

Getting into a relationship doesn’t automatically glue you to your partner’s waist.

You are not obliged to do everything together. You’re just two people who decided to hang out a lot. You are allowed, if not encouraged, to be your own person.

Your relationship is doomed if they stop you from traveling. You will simply regret not going, and those feelings will manifest in bitterness toward your partner.

I firmly believe that a relationship is not meant to last if it gets in the way of your dreams.

It’s okay to want to travel alone in a relationship

It’s a myth that in a relationship you have to do everything together. It’s okay to have different dreams!

You can still be with someone and want to travel alone. There could be a certain place in the world that is special just for you.

Or maybe you two just have different travel dreams. It is normal!

You also can’t expect someone to drop everything and travel with you. We are all in different phases of our lives.

A trip you’ve been saving for months may not appeal to someone who has just started their dream job or new business.

Traveling alone when in a relationship is such an underrated experience and honestly everyone should do it at least once.

It’s easy to forget who you are after you’ve been in a long-term relationship for a while. Solo travel offers you a rare opportunity to reclaim yourself and your independence.

Just because you have different experiences than your partner doesn’t mean you’re any less close. In fact, breaking up with them can strengthen your relationship.

It’s not easy leaving your partner behind

Heading into the horizon on a solo journey without a partner is no walk in the park. It’s actually pretty hard, and no amount of mindset planning could even prepare me for it.

When I said goodbye and got on the plane, tears flowed.

I like to think that wasn’t entirely my fault. Apparently your emotions are heightened on a plane due to the altitude, making you more prone to crying… Whatever it was, I was a mess. I couldn’t stop crying.

It was my first time traveling alone to the other end of the world and I had no idea what to expect.

After all the exciting months leading up to my trip, I was embarrassed to admit that I just wanted the plane to turn around so I could return home.

I was so disappointed in myself. I felt like a terrible solo traveler.

Time makes separation easier

In those first few weeks it was difficult to travel alone. New Zealand wasn’t exactly a culture shock, but the time zone still took some getting used to (you can read about my solo New Zealand itinerary here).

I even found myself counting down the days until I could see my boyfriend again.

After a while I noticed a change.

I immersed myself in as many activities as I could and began to enjoy my surroundings the more I engaged with them.

I forgot why I was so fixated on counting the days and I even stopped thinking about my boyfriend so much.

I enjoyed the time to myself immensely and the thought of going home filled me with horror. The less I spent thinking about the days I had left, the faster they passed. Typical actually…

When three and a half months had passed and I had to board the plane home, I didn’t want to leave. Actually, I would have liked to have stayed three or four months longer.

The tears shed for my friend on the flight early in my journey were replaced with sadness that my solo travels were over.

That’s the problem with the travel bug. Once it bites, it very rarely lets go no matter what you have waiting at home.

I was happy in a relationship, but solo travel had given me more freedom than I had ever known and I was thirsty for more.

Don’t let your relationship dictate what to do

It is possible to travel alone and be in a relationship at the same time. They are far from mutually exclusive. Still, it’s important to remember that a relationship can affect a solo trip, whether you want it or not.

You may shorten the length of your trips from what you originally planned, or you may want to postpone them because you just can’t face being apart from your partner. It happens. After all, we are all human.

Ultimately, you have to listen to what you really want. Nobody else can or should tell you.

Think about the real reasons you want to shorten or postpone your trip. Is it fear in general or the fear of missing out that is holding you back?

Ask yourself why you want to come home early. If you know a part of you would like to stay but feel compelled to do so because it doesn’t feel fair to your partner, talk to them.

You don’t want to hurt her, but you really don’t want to regret coming home early because you feel like you don’t have a choice.

Sure, long-distance relationships get a bit of a bad rap, but there’s always a way, even if you love someone as much as you love travel.

I met a few long-term travelers in relationships who would go home to their partners every few months before continuing their journey. You just have to find a way that works for you and your partner.

Be open and honest about your solo travel plans

Don’t confuse genuine concern with guilt.

If your partner raises concerns about your upcoming trip, allow yourself to listen and heed what they are saying. Encourage them.

It’s a scary time for loved ones who are staying at home. They might be worried about what you’re up to and they might feel like you’re moving on without them. It’s perfectly normal.

Address any concerns with openness and honesty. If you see fit, set rules that you both agree to, like reaching out four or five times a week.

Reassure them that you will give them priority on your trip and share details of your itinerary so they know roughly where you are (this is good travel safety for solo travelers anyway. You can read more tips here).

The big question: should we break up?

You know your relationship best and if it can handle the times. No one else can tell you what you and your partner should do.

If you both want your relationship to work, then it will. It’s that simple. Distance doesn’t have to get in the way.

I have met many people in international relationships who have been without their partner for a long time. Make no mistake, it’s hard work, but it’s possible. You just have to work on it to find your solution.

Of course, if your partner is trying to stop you from living your solo travel dreams, then dump them. Honestly, you don’t want to waste valuable time on this!

LIFE UPDATE: I published this post back in 2018 when I was embarking on my first solo journey. My boyfriend and I have been together for five years now and I still enjoy traveling alone! Yes, you can have both, so don’t let anyone stop you! 🙂

Final thoughts on solo travel and relationships

Leaving your partner behind to travel the world is easier said than done. Believe me, I’m not making it small.

Despite all the challenges, it is possible. You can absolutely travel alone and be in a relationship. Be open and honest with them about this and you might find that your relationship is so much stronger as a result!

Need more persuasion? Find out why women in relationships travel alone in this post from Be My Travel Muse.

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Your first vacation as a couple can be a big relationship milestone. After spending evenings and lazy weekends together, packing your bags is the next step in figuring out how you function as a couple when you’re together 24/7.

So how do you know if you’re ready to take off together? We asked the experts for their recommended schedules, as well as tips for not turning your getaway into a breakup.

1. Don’t rush things

It’s important not to rush into a vacation, no matter how excited you are in that first romantic moment. As dating coach James Preece explains, “It’s a sign that you both take things seriously, but you might have a hard time adjusting to not having your own space. The slightest thing might annoy you, but that’s only because you just don’t know each other that well.

“The timing of your first couple’s vacation depends a lot on how much you’ve seen of each other in the first three months,” says communications coach Jenny Holden. “If it’s been fairly consistent (e.g. 2-3 times a week) and you’ve been spending a lot of time together, the three month mark is a good time to take a short break to take your relationship to the next phase bring to. ‘

2. Start small

If three months is the guideline for your first vacation as a couple, two to three days is the best starting point for your break.

James always recommends starting your trip with a weekend getaway before even considering anything longer. “That way you have a practice run and you know you’re ready to commit more. It’s a good test to see how compatible you really are.’ For something longer, wait until you’ve been together for at least six months.

START SMALL, SAFE, THEN BUILD UP TO BIG TRIPS

Anna Williamson , TV presenter and mind coach, also advises playing it safe with your travel destination. ‘Don’t go anywhere to ‘out there’. Challenge yourself to a long-distance safari with someone you still know might not be the best idea. A weekend city break offers you interesting things to do and takes the focus away from being together around the clock.

3. Communicate clearly

Now that you’ve addressed the issue of time and place, it’s time to start planning. Communication is absolutely key, advises happiness coach Jo Hanby, and suggests setting realistic and honest expectations about what you both want out of the break, whether you want to spend a few hours alone and how much you can afford.

Anna reiterates, “Splitting the bill is a great way to keep things balanced and fair until you’re sure your relationship is going in the direction that you both want.”

4. Set a deadline

Perfecting your planning is key. Lucy Clifton, the Flight Centre’s Head of Operations, suggests setting a strict deadline for booking your first couples holiday.

14% of couples split up when booking a romantic getaway*

“Your holiday may seem miles away, but putting the planning off until the last minute will end in panic. Make a fixed date when you want to book your first holiday for two and then enjoy a relaxed build-up to your trip.’

5. Just do it

As much as you can plan your perfect trip based on how long you’ve been together and how compatible you think you’ll be, love isn’t a science. If after a week of getting to know each other you are really interested in booking your first holiday as a couple, trust your gut feeling.

As relationship expert Sarah Louise Ryan explains, “In today’s dating world, we can get bogged down in the fear of failure. On a journey with your S.O. sooner rather than later will show you their good, bad and ugly habits when it comes to living and sharing space habits. Get excited because it IS exciting – this person could be your perfect person and only time and a break together will tell.’

Because if it feels like it’s okay, then maybe it’s okay!

*Investigation by OnePoll for Flight Center

Isabella Silver’s Associate Editor Isabella is a Digital Associate Editor covering fashion, beauty, lifestyle, entertainment and more, all with a dash of diversity.

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