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People, Places, and Things Monologue
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People Places and Things Monologue by Duncan Kelly
And I wish I could feel otherwise. I wish I could be like you. Or my mother. To feel that some things are predetermined and meaningful and that …
Source: igetdepressedsometimes.wordpress.com
Date Published: 10/10/2022
View: 3284
Quotes from “People, Places & Things” by Duncan Macmillan
EMMA: You changed your hair. … My name is Sarah. My name is Sarah and I’m an alcoholic and drug addict. My life is unmanageable. I am willing and motivated to …
Source: bookmate.com
Date Published: 5/17/2022
View: 4557
People, Places & Things (Oberon Modern Plays)
People, Places and Things a new play by Duncan Macmillan a co-production between the National Theatre and Headlong. Emma. DENISE GOUGH. Paul / Dad.
Source: s56cead045fb31b85.jimcontent.com
Date Published: 5/30/2022
View: 4691
Emma Monologue, People, Places and Things by Duncan …
undefined Badge. Link to veo owner’s profile. Emma Monologue, People, Places and Things by Duncan Macmillan · Abeba Isaac. Like. Add to Watch Later.
Source: player.vimeo.com
Date Published: 3/27/2022
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Emma’s Monologue: “People, Places and Things” – Quizlet
LETS GO! … I’m not powerless. I’m not helpless. I don’t believe addiction is a disease and I’m scared and angered by the suggestion that from now on it’s either …
Source: quizlet.com
Date Published: 2/30/2021
View: 6565
People, Places & Things – St. Ann’s Warehouse
‘People, Places & Things’ Is A Clear-Eyed Look At Addiction: NPR Interview with Denise Gough, Duncan MacMillan and Jeremy Herrin · She Was About to Quit Acting.
Source: stannswarehouse.org
Date Published: 4/8/2021
View: 3579
Duncan Macmillan – Dramatists Play Service, Inc.
People, Places and Things … FEE: $105 per performance. THE STORY: Emma was having the time of her life. Now she’s in rehab. Her first step is to admit that she …
Source: www.dramatists.com
Date Published: 12/23/2021
View: 7719
People Places and Things Monologue by Duncan Kelly
Length: about 3 minutes
I fell in love with this monologue last year – and luckily it helped me get into drama school. If you haven’t read the play, it’s about a woman – Emma – who suffers from an addiction fueled by what some call “depressive realism.” Disillusioned with the world and her place in it, she refuses to believe that 10 Steps or any other method can cure her of her addiction. Emma challenges the notion of standard treatment throughout the play (and in this monologue), expressing her dissatisfaction with the mundaneness and horror of living a life free of drugs and alcohol.
Aspiring actors out there (and heck everyone but actors, especially because this play is amazing) I urge you to buy the full version and read it. Denise Gogh who played Emma is amazing.
Maybe I’ll post a video of me giving the speech in the near future – if I get up enough courage to reveal myself 😉
EMMA: “I find reality quite difficult.
I find it really difficult to get out of bed and get on with the day. I find it a bloody struggle to pick up my phone. The number in my inbox. The friends who won’t see me anymore. The food pictures and porn videos, the bombings and beheadings, the moral ambivalence you have to have just to get on with your day. I find the knowledge that we are all just atoms and that one day there will only be dirt in the ground is overwhelming
disappointing.
And I wish I could feel differently. i wish i could be like you Or my mother. To feel that some things are given and make sense and that we are somewhere between the start and finish line. But I can’t, because I care about what’s true, what’s actually verifiably true. You can give up your rationality for a comforting untruth, so how are you supposed to help me? You look at the world through a filter so narrow you barely live in it. You’re barely alive.”
[Doctor: You talk a lot about your mother. ] – I cut out this line when I made it.Emma: “Drugs and alcohol have never let me down.
You have always loved me. There are substances that I can put into my bloodstream that will make the world perfect. That is the only absolute truth in the universe.
I’m difficult because you want to take it away from me. So
We’re sorry. ‘
Quotes from “People, Places & Things” by Duncan Macmillan — Bookmate
SECOND ACT
The music from the end of ACT I played throughout the intermission in the auditorium and foyer. The volume increases as the lights fade, then cuts off as:
Electric lights flicker on. The reception at the rehabilitation center. Night. The music continues, softly from the radio. MARK just turned on the light. He wears the same uniform that FOSTER wore in the FIRST ACT.
EMMA is lying across the chairs at the reception. A hood covers her face.
MARK:
Can I help you?
,
MARK approaches EMMA.
Check in or pick up?
,
Hi?
Emma sits up. she mumbles. Emma:
I need help.
MARK:
What did you say?
She takes off her hood. She is very badly injured. Emma:
i said i need help
MARK recognizes her. MARK:
Holy shit.
Emma:
Can you please help me?
MARK speaks into a receiver. MARK:
Please doctor at reception, doctor at reception.
The doctor’s office. Night. A desk lamp is on. The doctor is sitting behind her desk. EMMA sits opposite. She looks very tired. bruised. bleeding. MARK is with them, standing at the door with EMMA’s bags. Emma:
you changed your hair
,
My name is Sarah. My name is Sarah and I am an alcohol and drug addict. My life is unmanageable. I am ready and motivated to change. I need help. I give up. I give up. I give up.
,
DOCTOR:
Sarah, do you know what went wrong last time?
,
You tried to control everything. Every part of the process. That didn’t work, so you pressed the self-destruct button. Addicts control everything. They fear chaos. They think they are the broken center of the universe.
You have to trust that things won’t fall apart. Trust the process Sarah. Let go.
Emma:
As?
How do I do that?
I’m not difficult or controlling, I really want to know.
I want to try
,
The DOCTOR writes on a prescription pad and puts some pills in a small paper cup.
no
DOCTOR:
Take her.
Emma:
I came here to get off drugs, not take more.
DOCTOR:
I understand that. But
Emma:
I can do it. I have to do it. Just everything out. / All.
DOCTOR:
Okay, I understand that, but believe me, I’ve been doing this for a long time / and
Emma:
I don’t want any medication. i wanna feel it I need it irrevocably.
DOCTOR:
It’s completely natural to want to have the most vivid experience because it’s what you’re used to, it’s what you deserve, and it will make you feel more connected to your recovery. I get that. But going cold turkey is dangerous. it can kill you There will be time for guilt and punishment and connection later.
This is the easy part. Do not be stupid.
take the meds
The DOCTOR gives EMMA the cup of pills.
Go to your room.
,
Emma:
You really sound like my mother.
The room. EMMA looks at the medicines. She goes to the bathroom. She throws the pills in the toilet. She rinses the chain. MARK puts EMMA’s bags on the bed. MARK:
Do you know the exercise correctly? Do you want me to go through anything?
Emma:
I can’t believe you actually got a job here.
MARK smiles. MARK:
live the dream
Emma:
What happened to Foster?
,
MARK:
Oh yeah shit you don’t know
Stupid bastard. his um
his dog died. Driven under a motorcycle. And Foster
he didn’t take it well.
Emma:
relapse?
MARK:
He was very low and they switched his antidepressants. The new drugs somehow
threw him off balance.
We don’t know if he intended that.
Emma:
Dead?
,
Shit.
MARK:
Yes.
Oh, listen, you have to fill out the forms. next of kin. Your mother?
,
And we need to arrange her visit. both your parents
Emma:
no
MARK:
It is important that these discussions take place here and are mediated / by a
Emma:
I don’t want her here. I need her to take me home. Not as a patient.
I know you will think this is a bad idea.
MARK:
It’s a bad idea.
A knock at the door. PAUL enters. He looks very different from ACT 1. PAUL:
i heard you are here
He enters the room and quickly goes to EMMA. She steps back and braces herself. He wants to hug her but feels it might be inappropriate.
Welcome back.
,
I’m sorry I wronged you.
It was the darkest, darkest time of my life. But out of that darkness came great light and the love of Jesus Christ. He came to me when I needed him the most and he spoke to me and told me what to do.
,
MARK:
Tell her what Jesus told you.
PAUL:
He told me to drink. He told me to drink until I drowned. He told me to shoot heroin and join him in heaven. That Robert and I would be together. that it would be blissful. That he would turn the poison in my veins into love.
Emma:
OK.
PAUL:
And I listened. And I followed him. And he brought me to his church. And I felt something break. And I felt his love. And I know that the poison is love and that it’s testing me. And I can overcome it.
He smiles at MARK.
We can all overcome it.
He holds EMMA’s and MARK’s hands in his.
He sent you here. Bless you for your kindness. And bless you Lord. We are three sinners. You watch our ways. you write them. You gave us the gift of despair.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know one from the other.
PAUL/MARK:
Amen.
,
PAUL looks at EMMA. PAUL:
You must say amen.
Emma:
Why?
MARK:
It’s like hitting send on an email.
,
Emma:
Amen.
PAUL grins at her and then leaves.
,
So I see Paul’s back.
MARK:
Yes.
They smile at each other. They become aware that together they are alone.
,
All right then. I leave that to you.
Emma:
To mark,
MARK:
you will be fine. We will monitor you.
Emma:
My first acting job was a company/for this one based in London
MARK:
I shouldn’t be alone in here with you. The rules are pretty strict
Emma:
I feel like I owe you something. As if I owe you anything
I do not know,
A true story.
,
MARK:
What is a “Company”?
Emma:
Like a fair thing. No play / or a
MARK:
To the right.
Emma:
basically advertising. A hall full of small stages. Repeating a horrible monologue in front of a handful of bored businessmen.
She mockingly delivers part of the speech.
We stand resolutely in the present
arms wide,
View in the future!
MARK laughs with her.
I am now!
You are now!
We are now!
What a thing it is to be alive!
What
She watches how, unnoticed by MARK, a similarly dressed EMMA slowly enters, puts down a chair and sits down. MARK:
are you ok
EMMA tries to ignore the EMMA. Emma:
That awful generic speech that had nothing to do with anything. I had to be in the spotlight and make it sound meaningful.
Another EMMA enters the room, pulls out a chair and sits down. There is an ominous rumble that gradually increases in volume and pitch.
I got £100 for the day and thought I hit the big time. Mark, my brother, helped me learn my lines.
Another Emma. EMMA tries to concentrate. She reaches for the edge of the bed. MARK:
Sarah,
EMMA: In a world that sets boundaries, that says don’t try, that says you will fail… in a world that says no, Quixotic says yes. Another Emma. Gradually a circle of chairs is formed. MARK:
Quixotic?
Emma:
Like Don Quixote.
MARK:
What, street runner?
Emma:
This is Wile E Coyote.
MARK:
Is that the company name?
Emma:
It means romantic, chivalrous. Visionary. Are all your references cartoons? Seriously, read a book.
Another Emma. At Quixotic, we don’t believe in borders or limitations.
We believe in the pioneer.
We believe in
in The room continues to fill up with EMMAs. MARK:
Sarah,
Emma:
Sometimes when they audition, they ask for a classic or a modern speech. And I would use it as my modern.
EMMA flinches. At the same time, all EMMAs stop moving and wince in pain.
My thought was, if I could make this crappy marketing language work, if I could make this list of abstract nouns sound sincere, then they would see what a good actress I am.
EMMA struggles through, obviously in pain. She is surrounded by a circle of EMMAs. MARK:
Sarah, you don’t owe me anything
Emma:
Mark learned it before me. I had to repeat and repeat and repeat. He would quote me. I have a text message from him on my phone that says:
What a thing it is to be alive. What a thing it is to swim in the sea. To look up at him, she flinches again. All the EMMAs flinch.
and it’s gone. He is gone. I can not remember. I can’t get through alone. I can not. I can not. I can not.
The deep, rumbling sound begins to shake the walls. MARK:
Sarah,
did you take your medication?
One by one the EMMAs begin to stand.
Can you hear me?
The lights change. MARK’s voice sounds increasingly like it’s under water.
Sarah?
Sarah?
EMMA gets up and watches as MARK rushes to the bed where she just was.
Look at me.
Sarah?
He leaves the room. EMMA walks around and looks at the other EMMAs. She’s not in the bedroom anymore. The light is eerie, unreal. The sound has stopped. Her movements through space echo like in a dream. She sees that there is an empty chair. She crosses the room and stands in front of it. The other EMMAs are seated.
,
One moment. Then the EMMAs leave. None. EMMA looks around. She’s in the group therapy room before anyone else. MARK enters. MARK:
You’re early.
Emma:
i want to practice
The GROUP enters the room and takes their places. EMMA talks to the THERAPIST.
i want to practice
THERAPIST:
keep going sarah
EMMA stands in the center and looks around the room at the members of the GROUP. Emma:
you are my father
She takes PAUL’s hands, sets him up and leads him across the room.
you stand in the door Which is somehow
here.
She asks him. THERAPIST:
Where are we?
Emma:
This is my old bedroom in my parents’ house. It’s like a museum for my childhood self. The bed is here.
She pulls some chairs in line to make the bed.
The door is there. All this stuff is piling up everywhere because now they use it for storage. Change is not really possible in families. That’s what this room conveys to me. Story.
She looks at MARK.
You are my brother.
THERAPIST:
Sarah, we practice for the future, we don’t play games
Emma:
you are my brother. you are marcus You died almost two years ago. Your bedroom is next to this one. Sometimes when we were kids you would hear me cry and you would come in and we would sit on the bed in silence and
You would hold my hand until I stopped and then you would go back to your room and for that I will always love you, even when you’re gone, even when I’m gone those moments were, are, will be meaningful.
All you have to do is sit with me and hold my hand without speaking, okay?
MARK nods and takes her hand.
,
She looks at the THERAPIST.
You are my mother.
THERAPIST:
I do not participate in / the
Emma:
You don’t have to do much. Trust me.
THERAPIST:
Sarah, really, it doesn’t
The GROUP cheerfully encourages them.
ok good but
Emma:
you’re standing over there
EMMA points and the THERAPIST moves to the spot.
I called you in You hate being in here. You want to watch your programs.
PAUL:
How am I?
Emma:
You’re uncomfortable being in here. They hate any kind of confrontation or emotional display. You feel like you never really got to know me because I had different interests than you and it didn’t make sense. You are intellectually insecure because you know your wife and daughter are smarter than you. You loved Mark because you understood him. You were unable to help me and you are angry that you hoped for my life
would be is not at all what it was. You were downstairs using the kitchen table for your pedigree charts. They’ve been doing this for at least ten years. We haven’t eaten at this table in a decade. You don’t want to talk about my problems and you don’t want to talk about Mark’s death.
She looks at the THERAPIST.
Mom, you’re frustrated with me. You have had difficulties in your life and have never abused drugs or alcohol. You can drink wine and re-cork the bottle for another day. You don’t know why I can’t do this. Your father died when you were five, your mother when you were eleven. You were moved a lot and despite everything you won. You have a PhD. Many framed qualifications. You have set up an international fund to support children in times of crisis. You used to play the piano, but haven’t for years. You think acting is a fun hobby and not worthy of your child. You never approved of a single friend or career choice and you never said anything to stop me.
I just arrived at home.
You and MARK are sitting on the “bed”.
,
OK. Yes OK.
,
THERAPIST:
Three,
two,
one,
,
Emma:
Mom, dad, this shouldn’t take long. I want to speak to you about what happened to me, to let you know where I am now and to apologize for my behavior.
But I don’t want to do it in that order. I want to apologize first.
She looks at the THERAPIST to see if that’s okay. The THERAPIST nods.
I’ve been a pretty horrible daughter over the years.
I was unhappy and self-destructive. I’ve self-medicated with drugs and alcohol, which has made me more isolated and self-centered. I made some terrible decisions and took you for granted. I broke promises Many many times. I stole from you I said some
I’ve said things I regret and wish I could take back. Someone would have interrupted me by now.
THERAPIST:
To say what?
Emma:
To contradict me. become defensive or
THERAPIST:
don’t anticipate. You’ll be surprised how people will react if you give them absolute honesty. You can welcome it.
Emma:
I would be really fucking surprised.
,
I wasn’t there for any of you when Mark
when Mark died. I disappeared and that must have stressed you out even more, and that was selfish and thoughtless. I do not ask
for forgiveness. I admit that I was wrong and that I wish I could take it back. I miss him.
She finds this very difficult, but liberating.
I miss him.
I know you do too.
,
I know I’ve scared you over the years. disappointed you.
Wow, that’s really hard.
PAUL wants to go to her, but doesn’t. MARK takes EMMA’s hand in both of his and rests his forehead on her shoulder.
,
I want you to know that I’ve worked really hard to get better. And I’m starting to find peace. And it’s an ongoing process. Because I was scared. I have disappointed myself. And the hardest part is taking myself seriously enough to do it. To feel that my happiness is worth fighting for. My life. And I do it for both of you as much as anything else. And for Mark.
And it should have been me. Not him. I know that. Everyone has been waiting for this. That’s not fair. And I can’t forgive myself / for that.
PAUL:
It’s not your fault.
Emma:
I’m not
PAUL:
Mark’s death wasn’t your fault.
Emma:
That’s not fair.
PAUL:
We love you. we love you always We do everything you need.
,
EMMA tries not to cry. Emma:
Many Thanks.
He would never say that.
But thanks.
PAUL:
It’s okay, darling.
Emma:
He wouldn’t say that either.
PAUL:
Oh.
Emma:
He would say, “uh huh. Spring’.
like that
,
PAUL:
uh huh
Spring.
,
THERAPIST:
And what would your mother say?
,
Emma:
Who the hell knows?
,
THERAPIST:
How do you feel?
,
EMMA looks at the THERAPIST. Emma:
Who are you?
,
THERAPIST:
Me.
,
Emma:
I feel like
,
I feel like I’ve spent my life surrounded by people trying to make me unhappy. And I’m starting to realize that every single one of them was probably just trying to help me. You probably only
loved me
,
THERAPIST:
You’re doing great Sarah.
,
EMMA looks up at the THERAPIST. Emma:
Many Thanks.
The GROUP takes their chairs away. The room. Mark is there.
At Quixotic, we don’t believe in borders or limitations.
MARK knows it word for word and pronounces it with her. EMMA/MARK:
We believe in the pioneer.
We believe in the visionary.
However, impulsive or impractical.
We say yes”.
MARK:
We say life is for the living.
We look at the world with love.
,
Emma:
It’s so completely meaningless, isn’t it?
MARK:
Not for me. I’m a sucker for a vague slogan.
To sue. Politician. aa
Wage a war on an abstract noun, I’m right behind you.
And not just being the Dalai Lama or John
Lennon about it, but that’s the point.
Love. it sounds stupid
Emma:
Yes.
MARK:
But it is true. you said it yourself The hardest thing is loving yourself. Be kind to yourself. After everything.
,
EMMA: Quixotic
. They’re probably the only people who will hire me now. Have you got cigarettes?
MARK:
You cannot smoke here.
Emma laughs. Emma:
Right.
wait, are you serious?
MARK:
So it’s a medical building
Emma:
right, of course, yes.
MARK:
did you still have it?
Emma:
What?
MARK:
Your spiritual epiphany.
You cannot leave without having your spiritual revelation. That’s what the rules say.
Emma:
I don’t think that will happen to me.
MARK:
Do not be so sure. If God appears anywhere, it’s here. He may be coming for someone else, but I’m going to take it. One day I’ll wipe up after a messy stomach pump and there he will be. Smile down. And he’ll say, “Well done, that’s it. Go out into the world and do no harm to yourself or others. Visit Sarah. She’s doing a play over a pub.”
Emma:
God is watching my games?
MARK:
He prefers the fringier stuff.
Emma:
I thought you were an atheist.
MARK:
I’m open to possibilities. I’d salute the damn Poseidon when he shows up.
They smile.
,
Emma:
I already have my higher power. And she exists very much.
MARK:
Don’t rely on other people for your recovery.
Emma:
The last time I spoke to her, she was cleaning out my apartment. Put everything bad in a big plastic box. All the bottles and bags of powder. Pots of pills. My weed stash. All stacked in this box.
MARK:
Sounds like a great box.
Emma:
I can’t stop thinking about it.
,
MARK:
I don’t have anyone to do this for me.
It is wonderful.
Emma:
She would be the one to answer the call. The police at the door. 3 a.m.
MARK:
That would be my ex-wife.
Emma:
Do they wake you up, do you think, or do they wait for the morning?
Did Foster have someone?
MARK:
Just his dog I think.
And we.
MARK and EMMA look at each other.
,
Emma:
I need to hear her say she’s proud of me. Or not even proud. I just want her to see that I’ve changed. When I hear it from her I think I’ll be able to end things.
MARK:
I didn’t think you believed in beginnings, middles or endings.
Emma:
I recognize my limits. I can’t live any other life than my own. I renounce a certain
agony
about all that. I have
MARK:
surrendered.
Emma:
I do not know. Maybe.
no
I came to a realization. Paul said it once.
This is all nonsense. None of this is real.
When I’m on stage, I know it’s all fake. I’m not who I pretend to be. Everyone else knows that. But somehow it doesn’t matter. All of us somehow
decide
that it’s real.
It’s the same with the program. Actually with everything. Language. Politics. Money. Religion. Law. Somehow we all know this is all bullshit. A magical group delusion.
MARK:
Right, yes, no, you lost me.
Emma:
Wile E Coyote only ever falls when looking down. He runs off the cliff and just keeps running in the air. It’s only when he looks down and sees he was about to fall that gravity kicks in.
This is my spiritual awakening.
Don’t look down
MARK:
Don’t look down
,
Emma:
I am not ready.
MARK:
Neither of us is.
Emma:
But you can stay.
MARK:
What you
,
you do not know.
Emma:
What?
MARK:
we will be closed The funding is gone. Everybody out.
Emma:
no
MARK:
week on Monday I’m going to beg Chester to get my old job back. will you help me practice
Emma:
But this is
MARK:
the end of the world.
,
MARK wants to leave, but then stays in the doorway.
I hope he shows up tonight.
Emma:
Who?
,
MARK:
God.
He turns off the light. EMMA is illuminated by the bedside lamp and the street lamp falling through the window.
,
EMMA looks up at the ceiling.
,
Emma:
Come on.
Show yourself.
I’m ready when you are.
,
Be silent. Silence.
Yes that’s what I thought.
,
morning breaks. The group therapy room. A circle of chairs. DOCTOR:
Here.
The DOCTOR gives EMMA a book. Emma:
What is that?
DOCTOR:
Foucault.
I made a few corrections.
It’s all very interesting, but I’m not sure it’s particularly applicable
life
.
And I watched
The Exorcist
.
EMMA opens the book and finds a cover inside. Emma:
What is that?
DOCTOR:
A letter from me that I don’t think you pose a risk to future employers.
,
Emma:
What should I do?
DOCTOR:
Go to meetings. Ninety sessions / in ninety
Emma:
in ninety days. I will. But I mean
EMMA looks at the paper.
What should I do now? with my life How do I get back to normal? How do I get on stage afterwards? If I ever go to an audition again, it’s going to be like climbing friggin’ Everest.
I thought I could train to be a therapist. Like Lydia. Then I thought, maybe I just want to play the role of a therapist.
The first rehearsal day is always the same. They sit in a circle of chairs, just like in a group. They introduce themselves individually, just like in the group. You say, “Hi, I’m whoever and I’m playing the part of whatever”
.
There is something about this situation that I don’t quite understand
I just can’t separate the two circles of chairs. If you know what I mean.
DOCTOR:
Do not think about it.
Emma:
I want to keep being honest.
,
DOCTOR:
Do I still look like your mother?
,
EMMA smiles at the DOCTOR. She smiles back.
,
congratulations on graduation
,
Emma:
Many Thanks.
The GROUP gathers in the room. The DOCTOR is now the THERAPIST. THERAPIST:
Today we say goodbye to someone who was a challenging, inspiring and important member of the group.
Sarah, we are proud of you. I’m proud of you. From the work you’ve done here. I want you to be proud of this work too and understand that the work doesn’t stop there. But you only have to do one day at a time.
General support noises from the GROUP.
We wish you success, happiness and peace. And please understand what I mean when I say I hope I never see you again.
PAUL:
don’t come back
don’t come back
EMMA smiles and hugs PAUL. The GROUP gathers around EMMA and begins to sing. She shakes hands with some and hugs others. GROUP:
don’t come back
don’t come back
don’t come back
don’t come back
don’t come back
EMMA is handed her coat, which she puts on. EMMA gets her bags. She stands in the doorway and looks back at the GROUP. She shakes the THERAPIST’s hand. MARK hugs her as the GROUP disperses. He gives her a scroll tied with a ribbon. MARK:
Don’t look down
He leaves. EMMA stands alone in the doorway of her children’s room. It has been preserved as she left it as a teenager. Different times and tastes collide. There are fluffy toys and teddy bears, stacks of books and stacks of cassettes. There is a Nirvana poster. The room was also used for storage, it is crammed with boxes of photos, books etc. There is something more ‘real’ about this room, somehow more detail. Her DAD comes in carrying her bags. FATHER:
out of this?
Emma:
We’re sorry?
FATHER:
All? All that?
Emma:
Yes.
FATHER:
Travel light.
Emma:
Yes.
FATHER:
uh huh Spring.
Emma:
would you get mom
fetch her
Emma:
would you bring her here
FATHER:
Now?
Emma:
Yes.
,
FATHER: FATHER:
Ah,
uh, ok.
,
He smiles at her.
Nice that you are home.
She smiles back sadly. He leaves. EMMA looks around. She takes a copy of today’s newspaper from her pillow. She looks at the front page. She mumbles to herself. Emma:
In a world that sets boundaries, that says don’t try, that you will fail, in a world that says no, Quixotic says yes.
,
She puts down the newspaper. She takes a stuffed animal. Your DAD returns. FATHER:
She is coming.
Emma:
I can’t believe you kept all these things, dad.
She looks at the toy in her hands.
I probably won’t have children now. Probably for the best. With Mark’s death, that’s the end
the line isn’t it? This story is finished. You can complete your family tree.
The end of the story.
,
FATHER:
uh huh
Emma:
Dad, shit, I’m sorry
I didn’t want it to sound like
EMMA’s mother enters. It’s the same actress who played DOCTOR/THERAPIST. Your DAD keeps standing by the door. MUMMY:
you wanted me
Emma:
Yes. Right. OK.
So,
EMMA sits down on the bed.
that shouldn’t take long. I wanted to talk to both of you and
MUMMY:
here it comes.
Emma:
It is not
Please, I just want the chance
MUMMY:
Don’t say we didn’t give you / chances.
Emma:
i am not i am
MUMMY
you steal from us, you get lost, we thought / you were dead.
FATHER:
let her speak
MUMMY:
I’m not being made into a villain.
Emma:
I know I’ve been a pretty horrible daughter over the years.
MUMMY:
Have we said that before? I never said that.
Emma:
Would you please
this is hard for
I would straight
,
I was unhappy and self-destructive. I’ve self-medicated with drugs and alcohol, which has made me more isolated and self-centered. I made some terrible decisions and took you for granted. I’ve said things I regret and wish I could take back. I wasn’t there for any of you then
I wasn’t there when Mark died.
I was wrong and I wish I could take it back.
I want you to know that I’ve worked really hard to get better. And I’m starting to find peace. And it’s an ongoing process. Because I was scared. I have disappointed myself. And I do it for both of you as much as anything else. And for Mark. And it should have been / me.
FATHER:
Alright enough.
He speaks calmly.
Look what you’re into
all these are just words. You say you will be less selfish and then you talk more about yourself. I can’t hear it. How many times have we tried to help you. Tried to save your life. The energy consumed. The insomnia. The money. Every time the phone rang or the doorbell rang, we thought it was the police. We neglected Markus. He should still be here. You’re right. It should be
She. They should be the ones we buried. At least we know you won’t have any more problems.
We mourned you a long time ago. So thanks for your little speech, but it means nothing. We’ve heard it before.
Look for a job. keep the job Call us from time to time. Just for chatting. No borrowing money or asking for help. Because you are interested in us. Get out of yourself
I am sorry. Much has long been unsaid.
,
Emma:
i love you dad Many Thanks.
,
FATHER:
i love you too darling It’s just very difficult.
Emma:
I’ll try to make it easier.
,
FATHER:
I have
I’m in the middle of something
I’ll order some takeout for us later, okay?
Emma:
Yes.
FATHER:
uh huh Right.
Spring.
,
He leaves. EMMA clenches her fist as if squeezing an invisible hand. She looks at her mother. They laugh sadly.
,
Emma:
He’s right.
MUMMY:
Yes he is.
are you staying overnight
Emma:
Actually I thought I’d stay for a while.
,
MUMMY:
it’s your home
EMMA feels a sudden surge of emotion and tries hard not to show it.
,
Emma:
I’ve been working really hard mom.
,
I took myself apart and put myself back together.
If you could see what I’ve been through
I think you would be proud of me.
,
EMMA doesn’t get the answer she wants. She smiles sadly to herself and takes deep breaths in and out.
They tell you, in rehab they tell you: avoid people who make you relapse. Places that you associate with use and objects that could be a trigger.
people, places and things. That’s basically, you know
all.
As long as you stay away from people, places and things, you will be fine.
,
Some places, some people are more dangerous than others.
MUMMY:
And you want to winter here until you feel safe to face them.
Emma:
No, no that’s not
,
EMMA looks at her mother.
here is the place. This is the most dangerous place I can be. This city. This house. all this stuff
You.
You
are the biggest danger for me relapses.
If I can be here with you at a time when I’m defenseless and vulnerable, if I can get through this, then I will definitely know that I’m fine. Forever.
,
do you want to say something mom
Dad obviously had to.
I say some pretty terrible things.
Why are you smiling?
,
Emma’s Monologue: “People, Places and Things” Flashcards
I am not powerless. I am not helpless. I don’t believe addiction is a disease, and I’m frightened and annoyed at the suggestion that from now on it’s either eternal abstinence or binge-drinking. I cannot surrender to a higher power because there is none. There just isn’t. And you, as someone living in the 21st century, should know that.
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