She Wants To Focus On Herself? Top 99 Best Answers

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It’s the words no man wants to hear: “I just need some time.”

They could mean anything, right?

So what are you supposed to do?

Here’s the deal:

10 Things It Means When She Says “She Needs Time”

1) She is indecisive about your relationship

The reason many men find it disturbing to hear that she needs time is because we all know it’s usually a bad thing.

The most common meaning is that she is unsure about the future of your relationship.

There can be a number of reasons for this, and many of them may not even be your fault.

But whatever the reason she’s on the fence about the relationship, the harder you push, the more you’re going to knock it off a cliff.

If she says she needs time, try to absorb her without getting angry. Take the time to react and really digest it.

Ask her why, and then listen carefully to her answer and think about your answer (if any) before you speak.

Even if you think her response doesn’t make any sense or is overly sensitive and ridiculous, refrain from hitting out.

If and when you decide that she is unreasonable, you can always make the decision to walk away of your own accord.

But it doesn’t have to be on site.

2) She thinks you’re too needy

Another important thing that it often means when she says “she needs time” is that she feels like you’re too needy.

Desiring love and companionship is perfectly healthy, but feeling a burning need and inadequacy without feeling it is not healthy.

It’s a form of codependency that you may feel like you’re not “good enough” without.

There are very common male behaviors that make a woman feel needy.

The two main behaviors she might describe as needy are actually very common:

They are constantly looking for attention and validation

You try to rush the relationship or put a label on it too soon

It’s awful, and I’ve done it myself and shot myself in the foot for relationships that could have been great.

My honest advice is to step away from trying to meet “the one” and take a look in the mirror…

When it comes to relationships, you might be surprised to hear that there’s one very important connection that you’ve probably overlooked:

The relationship you have with yourself.

I learned about it from the shaman Rudá Iandê. In his incredible free video on maintaining healthy relationships, he gives you the tools to put yourself at the center of your world.

And once you start doing it, there’s no telling how much happiness and fulfillment you can find in yourself and in your relationships.

What makes Rudá’s advice so life-changing?

Well, he uses techniques derived from ancient shamanic teachings, but he puts his own modern twist on them. He may be a shaman, but he’s experienced the same troubles in love as you and I have.

And with that combination, he has identified the areas where most of us are wrong in our relationships.

So if you’re tired of your relationships never working out, feeling undervalued, unappreciated, or unloved, this free video will show you some amazing techniques you can use to transform your love life.

Make a change today and cultivate the love and respect you know you deserve.

Click here to watch the free video.

3) She’s really confused about how she feels

Sometimes asking for more time is just a way of saying she doesn’t know how she’s feeling personally.

It’s not the relationship or any problem with you, it’s her.

Sometimes it really is her, not you.

Of course, that’s not what you want to hear from a girl you have feelings for, but trying to force it will only hurt more.

If she’s confused about how she’s feeling and “wants time,” that means what it sounds like.

She wants to be alone, she wants to meet, she wants to go out and get drunk…

Probably all that and then some.

She really could mean anything, but the most important thing is that she’s not sure enough about how to commit right now.

And that’s really all you need to know.

I’m sorry if this bothers you a bit, but again, there’s not much you can do other than break up with her right away or try to force the matter into an ultimatum, a step you can take maybe you’ll regret .

4) She plans to break up with you

Sometimes “taking time” is just a cheap painkiller.

Let me explain:

Breaking up with someone is hard and many women hate doing it.

That’s how it is for a lot of guys. i know i do

That’s why they will sometimes “take time” to slowly break up with you over time, hoping you get the message.

It’s an attempt to soften the blow so the breakup hits you little by little and doesn’t hurt as much.

In my opinion, it’s the coward’s way out and it won’t hurt any less.

Breakup is breakup, and if she’s done with the relationship but is too scared or sad to let you know, then she’s a weak and hurtful person.

How do you know if she wants to break up? Push the issue forward if she asks for more time. Ask her if she really just wants to break up but is afraid to ask. Tell her you can take it.

As Iain Myles writes:

“A girl can tell you she needs some space when she’s about to break up with you.

It’s a time when she’s evaluating whether the relationship is worth it and how she’s doing without you.

It also prepares you for life without it.”

5) Ask a relationship coach

Relationships can be confusing and frustrating. Sometimes you’ve hit a wall and you really don’t know what to do next.

I know I was always skeptical about getting outside help until I actually tried it.

Relationship Hero is the best site I’ve found for love coaches that don’t just talk. You’ve seen it all and know everything about how to handle difficult situations, like when your partner asks for time or space.

I personally tried them last year while going through the mother of all crises in my own love life. They managed to cut through the noise and give me real solutions.

My trainer was friendly, they took the time to really understand my unique situation and gave really helpful advice.

In just minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get advice tailored to your situation.

Click here to check them out.

6) It strongly contradicts your values ​​and lifestyle

Sometimes asking for more time is to wait and see if she meets someone who is more in line with her values ​​and lifestyle.

In some cases, it’s not that she’s not sure how she feels about you, nor is it that she doesn’t like the relationship in any way.

It’s that she just can’t see a future with you because your values ​​clash and you have a completely different life.

Maybe you’re a punk rocker and she’s an insurance agent who goes to church three times a week.

Maybe you’re a strict Buddhist who doesn’t eat or drink meat, and she’s a party girl living out her mid-30s in a patch of rum-soaked revelry.

There are many situations where the values ​​just don’t match.

It doesn’t always have to be the end of the relationship, but it’s definitely enough that one partner needs more time to think things over.

7) She is going through a personal crisis

Another thing that in some cases if she takes time it means that she is not well.

It might not have anything to do with you at all, but also something she needs time and space to do rather than your closeness.

Common examples are:

A death in the family

A struggle with a mental illness

Serious problems from the past reappearing

Career and financial frustration consuming her full attention

If she tells you it’s one of those things, you should believe her.

By showing her that you take her at her word and that you are willing to give her time, you will greatly increase her respect and attraction to you.

8) She’s interested in another guy

Sometimes when she says she needs time, it just means she has another guy in mind.

If she’s interested in another guy, you might be wondering why she doesn’t just break up with you and move on.

That’s mostly because she’s not yet sure how things will go with him.

This is called the bench press: she wants to keep you on the bench as a substitute in case Type 2 doesn’t work out.

So she tells you that she just needs time, but what she really wants is a chance to try another handsome hunk.

It’s not good at all.

Some guys who do this get very bitter about women in general, but remember that this isn’t a gender issue.

Some men also bench girls.

9) She misses her independence

In some cases, a girl will tell you that she needs more time, but what she really means is that she misses her independence.

It’s easy to feel lonely when you’ve been single for a long time, but nothing takes away that feeling and creates its opposite like being in a relationship.

Suddenly the idea of ​​having a weekend to yourself seems heavenly.

And that could well be how she feels.

So she tells you that she needs some time.

But what she really means is that she’s struggling with feeling attached to someone and longing for her space and freedom.

10) She’s testing you

Last but not least, there is always a chance that your girlfriend or love interest will put you to the test.

Sometimes she says she needs more time to see how you react.

Do you lash out with anger and accusations, or don’t you care at all?

Do you communicate intelligently and ask questions but ultimately accept it maturely, or do you freak out and become paranoid and sad?

Your reaction to such things is obviously quite personal and instinctive.

You might have a traumatic history of girls walking all over you.

Obviously it’s not really fair of her to test you or play games that way.

But that doesn’t mean it never happens, and in fact it does happen quite often.

It’s best to find out why she wants to take a break or slow down, but do so in a sensible and calm manner. Ultimately, you want to accept her choices and choices in the relationship.

Forcing things never works well.

How much time are we talking about here?

We all have different tolerances for uncertainty in a relationship.

It also depends hugely on the strength of your connection with that girl.

If she’s told you she needs time, it’s perfectly reasonable for you to reach out after a few weeks and ask if she’d still like to be together.

If she needs more time and still needs more time in a month or two, then it’s time to realize that she’s only breaking up with you in slow motion.

If and when she wants to come back, she will.

In the meantime, you’d better focus on your own life, try to get to know someone, and improve your relationship with yourself.

An interest in dating is completely normal and to be expected. There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking companionship or wanting to connect with that special someone. However, to ensure you have the best dating experience, it’s important to make sure you’re at your best. That means focusing on yourself and having all of your ducks lined up. In this world, like attracts like; This means the better you are as an individual, the more likely you are to attract a higher class of people into your life.

The beauty of focusing on yourself

Focus on yourself with the help of an online therapist. Click here to join ReGain

Focusing on yourself allows you to get to know yourself, find out what is most important to you, identify your values, etc. Each of these factors are important and ultimately contribute to who you are as an individual. You may not know all of these things right away, and that’s okay; Additionally, if you focus on yourself, you can see how you’ve grown and observe additional work that you need to get done.

People who are self-focused tend to have a good life and enjoy higher quality relationships. Focusing on yourself doesn’t have to mean shutting out other people completely; However, it does mean taking some time for yourself. Relationships with friends, family, romantic partners and others are very important and certainly contribute to your quality of life. However, it is just as important to know who you are and to take precious moments to stop and reflect.

One of the most important things to remember in life is that the experiences, people, and interactions we are meant to have do not pass us by. When something (or someone) is really meant for you, it works, even if events don’t go the way you initially expected. That means you shouldn’t worry about what you might be missing out on as you take time to focus on yourself. If you focus on yourself, you may be able to avoid things that may have affected you negatively, but you won’t miss what’s truly meant for you.

Why should you focus on yourself before dating?

Being asked to focus on yourself before a date is one thing; But knowing why you should follow this approach ultimately makes all the difference. Most of the time, people are much more willing to engage in behaviors when they understand why they should do so. This understanding provides the necessary and correct motivation. Therefore, the following reasons should be of value to you and help you understand why it is most beneficial to focus on yourself before you start dating.

You will have a better idea of ​​your ideal partner

Many people enter into various relationships, only for those relationships to eventually fail at some point. Well, there are all sorts of reasons that can lead to the end of relationships; That being said, it’s important to be aware of the fact that not knowing what you want in a relationship certainly falls into the aforementioned category of reasons.

A clear fact is that not all people are compatible with each other. Knowing who you are and what you want doesn’t mean you’ll never experience a breakup once you start dating. What it means is that you are better able to determine what your ideal partner is like. Not everyone takes the time to figure out what they want in a partner and a relationship; Dating before you know what you’re interested in leaves the door open to a lot of avoidable problems.

You will not rely on anyone else for happiness

A key part of focusing on yourself is finding what makes you happy. This can mean finding a balance, taking up a new hobby, or just being alone at certain times. Happiness means different things to different people, but it is something you deserve to find.

If you focus on yourself before dating, you won’t be forced to rely on another person for happiness. Make no mistake; Dating and relationships can contribute to your happiness as an individual, but you shouldn’t rely on dating and relationships to be a happy person. If you know who you are and what makes you happy before you start dating, it will be much easier to maintain that happiness, regardless of your relationship status.

You’re more likely to date for the right reasons

Different people date and enter into relationships for different reasons. Sometimes they are genuinely interested in finding love and sharing their life with someone they connect with. In other scenarios, people date and begin relationships because they don’t want to be alone or feel whole. As you can imagine, the former reasons for dating and entering into relationships are much better than the latter.

Dating is far more likely to go well when both parties are in it for the right reasons. Focusing on yourself before you start dating allows you to work on yourself internally instead of seeking inner necessities from external sources. Confidence, contentment, self-esteem, and the ability to be alone should be alive and well before the date. Later you will thank yourself and be glad you focused on yourself before diving into the world of dating.

You are more likely to attract a better partner

Being at your best when you start dating allows you to attract someone who is also at their best. For better or for worse, the energy you put out into the universe and the way you carry yourself will impact the quality of the people who come into your life. Like attracts like, which is why many people tend to attract romantic partners who are similar to them in one way or another; These similarities don’t always have to be on the surface, but they’re usually there once you start looking beneath the surface.

Many people are led to believe that they need to date or be in a relationship. Dating can be a great experience, but the quality of your dating experience is greatly affected by the type of people you date. Because of this, once you are ready to start dating, it will benefit you to focus on yourself and work on being the best version of yourself. There’s no rush and there’s a whole world out there. Take your time.

Your first responsibility is to yourself

In life, your first responsibility should be yourself. If you are not in a good place mentally and emotionally, you will not be able to fulfill any additional responsibilities that you may have. Focusing on yourself allows you to grow as an individual, identify areas that need improvement and ensure you are doing well.

Focusing on yourself is not selfish. In fact, if the people in your life really love you and care about you, they will want you to be ok and in a good place in life. This will require you to focus on yourself. If you need to take a break from dating or take other steps for your health and well-being, don’t be afraid to do it. The people who are meant for you respect your needs and interests.

Professional help

Focus on yourself with the help of an online therapist. Click here to join ReGain

Sometimes, when you are focused on yourself, it can be really valuable to seek professional help. Counseling and therapy have been particularly valuable for individuals working on various problems. Focusing on yourself can sometimes involve dealing with past events or hurts that have not been properly addressed. Far too often, people have the feeling that they have to deal with these issues on their own.

Granted, there’s nothing wrong with taking care of things yourself if that’s what you really prefer. However, if you feel that seeking professional help at any level can benefit you, you are strongly encouraged to sign up for online therapy with Regain.

Online therapy allows you to work with mental health from anywhere in the world, regardless of your current schedule or commitments. Here at Regain, we believe that a person’s life and commitments should not interfere with their ability to receive help. Our online therapists are happy to work with you at times that are most convenient and convenient for you.

It’s important to remember that online therapy is not a quick fix. It won’t magically make your problems go away; However, working with an online therapist ensures you are given the tools needed to improve your quality of life and overcome struggles.

Online therapy does not have a set time frame. Different people require different amounts of time before successfully reaping the necessary benefits. No matter who you are or what your situation is, there is no rush; Online therapy is different for everyone. With time, patience and dedication you will be able to change the quality of your life and become the best version of yourself.

Those who consider the issue of selfishness in their actions reflect true generosity. Thinking about such a thought shows the kindness in your nature.

Perhaps with enough time and reflection, you could come up with your own answer on how to focus on yourself without being selfish.

But you were looking for some ideas and landed on this article. And I’m happy to share insights from my own experience.

As I pondered this subject, other questions came to mind that I thought would help answer the central question.

When faced with something you’re not sure about, sometimes breaking it down into pieces can reveal the truth of the matter.

Let’s think about some questions together.

What does it mean to be selfish?

Most definitions of selfishness say that it means caring only or exclusively for yourself. Breaking it down further, the meaning seems to indicate not caring about others.

In this understanding, perhaps we are all selfish to some degree. We all have moments when we only focus on ourselves.

If you prepare food yourself, is there someone else you take care of? When you lie down to rest, does that action help someone other than you?

Given these points, it’s almost impossible not to be selfish at times. As strange as it may seem to acknowledge, perhaps there is some comfort in realizing that selfishness is part of who we are.

Is it selfish to focus on yourself?

Perhaps the question isn’t whether it’s selfish to focus on ourselves. Perhaps the real question we should be thinking about is when focusing on ourselves becomes too selfish.

It seems to be true in life that almost anything can be overdone. In the space of too much we leave important necessities in a space of too little.

In a room where well-being is negatively affected. We know that an element like water is good. But we know that too much can leave little room for our lungs to get air.

Too much selfishness in focusing on oneself can lead to low connection with others.

We are in a place with too little human interaction and not enough happiness to come from it.

Knowing the point at which we have gone too far is difficult to pinpoint. What is too far for one may be just right for another.

One must honestly look into their hearts and carefully weigh their own actions. Reflect on whether the needs of others have been adequately considered and accommodated.

We must listen to others and analyze their judgments. Determine if there is any truth to criticism of self-centeredness.

Reflection on the character of the person making the criticism. To see if they were an example of selflessness in their own lives to follow.

What’s the least selfish way to focus on yourself?

As humans, we have basic needs that we must satisfy for our own survival. Food, water, shelter, sleep and many others specific to our own challenges.

These appear to be at the lowest level of selfishness when focused on ourselves. If you take care of yourself first, you can take better care of others.

But our life consists of more than just our needs. They are made up of our hopes, our dreams and our deepest desires.

To leave these unsatisfied is to some extent to leave ourselves unnoticed. The happiness that our passions ignite in us makes us better able to ignite that happiness in others.

It’s harder to make others feel something when you can’t even feel it yourself. In that sense, making our inner joy a priority can sometimes be a lower form of egocentricity.

Am I focusing on myself enough?

It’s strange to think that we might not be focusing enough on ourselves. But the reality exists for some who sacrifice their own desires so much for others.

I think of the mothers and fathers who put the desires of their children and spouses ahead of their own. They allow their hopes and dreams for the happiness of their loved ones to be sidelined.

I think of all people who sacrifice their time and space for the satisfaction of others. Maybe you’ve been that person lately.

Perhaps we all inevitably come to a point in life where our well-being has been neglected too much. Where we realize that we haven’t focused enough on ourselves.

In these moments we stop and take more time for ourselves. Realizing again that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes.

That even the most selfless of us need time to focus on our personal happiness. Our own well-being should never be underestimated.

In the end, sometimes you have to focus on yourself. Focusing on yourself is selfish to a certain extent. But you can manage if the scale is too much.

Mastering the balancing act can be a never-ending process. But even just thinking about these thoughts shows that we are already successful.

Maybe you were dating someone and out of the blue she said she needed space. Or, worse, after months or years of being together, your girlfriend said she needed time and space to think.

Is there anything crazier than this situation?

I totally feel your pain When someone you care about says they’d rather spend less time with you, it feels like a punch in the stomach. And it’s hard to know what to do. But figuring it out is the key to making it better.

If you don’t do anything else, at least make sure she gives you a reason. If you don’t get an answer as to why she said she needed space, you don’t stand a chance — and she’ll likely move on in her life without you.

This is of course easier said than done. Especially if you’re just with her. For that reason, I’ve compiled a list of ways she might need space. See if any of these bells ring for you. Next, I’ll help you strategize to potentially fix the problem—if not with this woman, then in future relationships.

If she said she needs space (and you only date her)

This situation can be a bit difficult. You may not know her well enough to read what’s going on or ask her about it directly. Here are some common reasons she said she needs space and time to think right now.

You connected too quickly

Let me be blunt: being clingy turns women off. Neediness doesn’t look good on anyone and can end relationships entirely. Women are interested in strong, confident men who make them feel safe. Conversely, a man who sheds “needy” energy makes a woman feel like she needs to take care of him. However, what she really wants is a man she can rely on.

So how do you know if your energy is needed? First, you might want to find out if your attachment style is causing problems in the relationship. (For more details on attachment theory, see this article.) If you’re referring to the “anxious” attachment style (which research shows 15% of people do), pay attention.

If your attachment style is fearful, then you probably come across as too strong, and she said she needs space because…well, she needs space. Most likely she feels suffocated. Here are some examples of how to choke someone so you know what I mean:

Constantly calling and texting

Follow your social media and ask them about things you’ve seen

Always asking what she is doing or what she is going to do (monitoring her everyday life)

Acting jealous and/or asking too many questions about their male friends or co-workers

She gives her advice on things she is already working on

Getting pissed off or venturing into guilt when she says she needs space

That pretty much sums it up, but in case you’re still wondering, here’s a quick test. Check your text thread with her. Do you see 12 lines of your text versus your 1 line?

Do you know if she is dating other guys?

This is an example of an anxious attachment style. Looking back, you may have seen other signs that she was starting to distance herself from you before she said she needed space. Short text messages, an irritable mood, and showing up late (or frequently canceling plans) were probably your biggest clues that she needs space because you’re too attached to her.

The reason she needs space could be quite simple: you have competition now. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Finally, if you’ve read my articles, you’ll know that I’m a big proponent of megadating, which is the practice of dating as many people as possible at once. It has many benefits, and both men and women do it.

So keep in mind that if you are not exclusive, she can very well hook up with other guys. As much as I hate being the bearer of bad news, if she asks for a seat from you instead of them, you might even lose this contest.

Can you remember when her energy changed?

Still wondering why she asked for a seat? think back They may have noticed the change in their attitude and just forgot about it. When you asked to split the bill? Have you had bad sexual experiences? When she saw your air mattress? Has she introduced you to your friends or family and then started communicating with you less? Try to remember the moment things changed. This might be the biggest clue as to why she pushes you away.

Is she going through something difficult?

The reason she needs space may not have anything to do with you. Think about what is going on in your life to the best of your knowledge. Perhaps she is under pressure at work, has worked long hours and is losing energy for the relationship.

She might have academic goals taking up all of her headspace. She might be relocating or have big travel plans that make a relationship unrealistic right now. Maybe she just got divorced or just broke up with someone. The possibilities are literally endless. Just remember that you are not the center of her universe and that she is withdrawing for her own reasons.

When your friend says she needs space and time to think

If a woman you’ve been with for a while says she needs space, other things might be afoot.

They have different goals in life

Did she sit you down and ask you about the marriage or the kids? If so, was that a good conversation or did you feel like you literally wanted to run? If you have different ideas about where this relationship is going, you can both feel the breakup. She may ask for a seat because she’s wondering how long she wants to wait.

Or maybe you have a very specific career plan that involves moving to a specific city because of your industry. She may have been happy for you but now doubts if she can really follow you there. In other words, there might be an unspoken conflict that you both need to admit.

It’s starting to feel platonic

Have you or both of you lost sex drive? Maybe your relationship feels more like “best friends” (or worse, brother and sister!) and not romantic. When was the last time you had sex anyway? Even if it seems like she’s asking for space out of the blue, maybe you’ve been living apart for a while. If the relationship starts to become platonic, she may be trying to get out of it.

What you can do now

If you think you have the reason, here are some approaches you can take to try to salvage the relationship (if that’s what you want).

1. Ask them to reason

If she’s your girlfriend, then chances are the two of you have been together for a few months or years. You deserve an answer. Ask her directly what’s going on. Even if she can’t articulate it exactly, be willing to have a conversation and explore some possibilities together.

Do this with an open mind, without anger or blame. The more comfortable she feels talking to you about it, the more information you will get. Try using “I” statements, such as B. “I feel awful inside when we don’t talk,” rather than accusing statements like, “You only care about yourself!” Speak only for yourself and keep your emotions in check so she’s more likely to let you in.

Also, make sure the conversation is face-to-face so you can also pick up clues from their body language. Again, she may be able to say exactly why she needs space or not. So, if you can observe their body language, it will help you put things together. She might try to play it off as nothing, saying she’s “just so busy these days and needs some downtime.” You could take that at face value via text, but in person she might say it with telltale signs of discomfort – shifted eye contact, trembling voice, etc.

If you don’t have this conversation face-to-face, you could miss the entire subtext and misinterpret it all. The worst thing would be to think you have the answer when you really don’t have it.

2. Consider making some changes…or not

If she gave you the reason — and it’s something you have control over — then say you’ll work on it. Try to convince her that you will make the necessary adjustments to move the relationship forward. But only do so if you truly feel this is your best path forward.

For example, let’s say she worries that your family comes first over her. She wants space now because she’s not sure if she wants to play “second fiddle” to her brothers, mother, etc. in your life. You might consider making some arrangements for this – finding more 1-on-1 time away from family or asking them not to come over on certain days so you can be alone.

On the other hand, would you be comfortable with such changes? Maybe you are super family oriented and need a woman who appreciates that kind of life. Spending time with your family might be too much to ask.

Or maybe she needs space because after a while you still refuse to talk about commitment. She feels insecure in the relationship and wonders if anyone else might be involved. She says she feels unappreciated and ignored by you. This might make you think more intensely about the prospect of life without her. If you decide that you don’t want to lose her, then you might be willing to pay more attention and talk about the future. Again, it all depends on whether you feel it’s worth it.

3. When things don’t get better, let it go

In some cases, nothing will work, and you only need to set aside a few weeks to grieve. But don’t linger too long. No other woman will want to date a man who has “poor me” syndrome. Get out and spend time with friends and family. Focus on finding a new job that will energize you. Join a mixed intramural or city sports team. Planning a trip to a new country.

Then, once you’re ready to start dating again, hire a coach who can give you objective advice on how to avoid such a situation in the future. Having an expert by your side can make a world of difference in how your dating life unfolds from this point forward. Take advantage of the help that is out there by booking a 1 to 1 new client Skype session with me.

4. Start MegaDating

She said she needed space to think: bottom line

Of course, one of the best things you can do is to start MegaDating. As I mentioned earlier, MegaDating is the practice of dating multiple people at the same time. Once your calendar is full of multiple women you meet (even if it’s just the first or second date), you won’t have time to think about that relationship. Not only that, but you’ll also realize that rejection doesn’t define you. Just because this woman needed space doesn’t mean all women will. It’s an easy thing to say, but MegaDating actually proves it to you in real life.

Ultimately, various factors can lead your girlfriend to tell you that she needs space. It’s impossible to list them all here, but hopefully you’ve gotten some clues as to what might be happening. Make sure you get that reason from her. Don’t let them be vague. It’s up to you to provide clarity so you can either try to win her back or move on to the next woman. Either way, you end up with more insights on how to build a long-term relationship.

Relationships are great, but it’s easy to get lost in it all.

Being part of a couple can make you forget who you are as an individual.

While you are someone’s partner, you are also much more than that. Other aspects of your life should not be neglected when you are in a relationship.

Focusing on yourself doesn’t make you selfish. As long as you talk to your partner about your needs, they should be able to respect your need for time away from them.

Here are some things you can do to focus on yourself in a relationship.

1. Spend enough time alone.

There is no right or wrong amount of alone time to have in a relationship. It all depends on how much you need.

Let your partner know exactly what you will be doing during your time apart. You should respect your need for alone time, but keep them informed and don’t neglect to spend time with them either.

If you’d rather stay home and do your thing, don’t make it sound like you’re not happy in the relationship. Reassure your partner that you still enjoy spending time with them. You only have your own needs to take care of.

Also, give your partner as much alone time as they need. A certain degree of independence is desirable in a relationship. You can both have your own passions and devote as much time to them as you like.

2nd exercise.

Exercising has endless benefits. One of the biggest is the impact fitness has on your self-esteem. Exercising feels good, even when it’s difficult. So when you take care of your body, you also take care of your mind.

You can join the gym when you want to focus on yourself. Exercise keeps your body healthy and makes you more attractive. This is good for you and your relationship.

You don’t have to do everything on your own when you focus on yourself. If your partner wants, you can exercise together. However, make sure that the main reason is the exercise itself and not to spend more time together.

Getting in shape can make you feel great, and hard work at the gym really pays off. Also remember to get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet and drink plenty of water. These are simple things that could change your life if neglected.

3. Maintain your friendships.

People often neglect their friendships when entering a new relationship. However, when the initial excitement wears off, you might miss hanging out with your friends.

Reconnect with them and spend time together. Maintain your friendships when you are in a relationship.

Go out with your friends and do some of the things you used to do when you were single. You may not have as much time to spend with your friends as you used to, but you can still make some time for yourself.

Make sure these are your friends from before your relationship, not the friends you and your partner hang out with.

4. Try new things.

Trying something new is always a good idea. Take a class and learn something new or try a new meal at a restaurant. Draw, write, garden or cook a new meal. Go to new places and meet new people.

Do something different every day. Go to a different grocery store or take a different route when you go home from work. Learn a new language or play an instrument. Change the furniture in your home and redecorate your office.

Make sure you keep researching and broadening your horizons. Make friends with different people because you can learn something from everyone. Watch a different genre of film than usual, read a book, or discover new music.

Focus on yourself by learning and experiencing something new every day.

5. Set goals.

Every couple has relationship goals, whether it’s moving in together or growing old together. You will plan your future with your partner, and that’s great!

However, remember your personal goals as well. They may not be the same as they were before your relationship. But think about whether there are goals from back then that you still want to pursue. Also think about what new goals you need now.

Set goals that are unrelated to your relationship and make an effort to achieve them. Maybe you want to start your own business, lose weight or quit smoking.

Set short and long term goals and break them down into steps you need to take to achieve them. You can get closer to your goals every day by taking a small step towards the future you want.

You may want to be your partner’s spouse and/or parent. But what else do you want that has nothing to do with your love life?

6. Spend time on your hobbies.

If you had a hobby before you were in a relationship, pick up where you left off. Or start a new hobby if you haven’t had one before.

It could be gardening, reading, cooking, or even video games. Take dance classes, acting classes, or pottery. Start a collection and learn more about the things you are passionate about. Make jewelry, soaps or candles. Learn a new language or learn to program.

There is an endless list of hobbies you could try. Find your passion and dedicate some of your time to that passion.

You and your partner might have common interests that turn into hobbies. That’s okay, but you also need to have something you can do yourself. It should be something you enjoy doing without your partner.

A hobby should make you fulfilled and happy. So find something that suits your interests.

7. Practice self-care and self-love.

Eating healthy, exercising, and repeating affirmative words aren’t the only ways you can practice self-care and self-love.

Take a look around your home. If it’s not full of things that make you happy and represent good memories, clear out and remove things you don’t need.

Enjoy small moments of your day and make them special. You could light a candle while you relax or play some music while you’re in the shower.

Find a cause worth fighting for and try volunteering. Spend time in nature and take photos. Adopt a pet or take care of a plant. Remind yourself to smile whenever you remember.

Find more ways to express yourself, indulge yourself and just feel good about being yourself and being alive.

8. Take care of your health.

Regular visits to the doctor, dentist and anyone else responsible for maintaining your health are important. Be sure to follow your doctor’s instructions if you have an existing health condition.

Take care of your health by eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, exercising and drinking enough water.

Take care of your mental health as much as you take care of your physical health. Talk to a therapist if you have mental health issues or just need someone to talk to.

Also take care of your hair, skin and nails. Taking care of your health doesn’t have to be a visit to the doctor; it might be about a spa day now and then. Make sure both your body and mind are healthy.

9. Write things down.

Start journaling and writing down your goals. Journaling can be a great way to process your thoughts and feelings, while writing down your goals keeps you motivated. Also, write down the things you need to do during the day.

Write a poem, article, or short story if inspired. Writing is good for you, even if you’re not very good at it. It’s a great hobby and a way to express yourself. You can write about anything you want.

Keeping a journal also gives you some privacy when you are in a relationship. No one should read your journal but you. Here you can write anything that comes out when you put pen to paper.

Being good at writing can also be a useful skill and tool that can help you in many areas of your life. If you’re not that good yet, know that you can get good at something with practice and perseverance.

10. Meditate.

Find a quiet, quiet place and get into a comfortable position. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Notice when your mind wanders from your breath. Recognize the thought, don’t judge yourself for it and let it go. Focus on your breath again and stay in the chosen position.

Do this for 5 or 10 minutes and you’ve officially meditated! It’s that simple, and it helps relieve stress while keeping you focused on the present.

You can listen to a guided meditation or just enjoy the sounds of nature while you meditate. Take 5 to 10 minutes each day to meditate and it will become a healthy habit and a great way to focus on yourself in a relationship.

11. Focus on your career.

Working toward a promotion or preparing for a new job are also ways you can focus on yourself.

If you enjoy what you do for a living, find ways to get even better at it. If you don’t like your job, see if there is a way you could get closer to your dream job. Maybe you could learn some new skills and it could start as a hobby. Maybe you could even start your own business.

Don’t forget about your career when you’re in a relationship. Being successful in what you do can make you feel fulfilled and fulfilled. Finding fulfillment outside of your relationship is good for you and the relationship.

Plus, there’s no harm in being financially stable. Take care of your finances and try to save money.

12. Work to improve yourself.

Would you like to be more independent, positive, attractive and confident? you can be! It just takes some time and effort.

People are meant to change and grow, but they only do that if they work on themselves.

In a healthy relationship, you will grow together as a couple, but you will also grow as individuals. Keep improving. If there’s something you don’t like about yourself or think it could be better, work on it.

If your relationship is healthy, it should even inspire and nurture your growth. Your partner should support you in becoming the best version of yourself.

Read articles and self-help books and apply what you have learned. Talk to a therapist if you need extra help to become the person you want to be. You can do it; it will just take some time and effort.

13. Don’t compare yourself to others or care too much about what people think.

Comparing yourself to others creates unrealistic expectations. You are unique and should focus on what makes you who you are.

Don’t be fooled by perfect images on social media or the unrealistic beauty presented by the media. You don’t have to be like someone else, actually you shouldn’t be.

Also, don’t worry too much about what other people think. Focus on what you want to do, not what others want to do.

Worrying about what other people might think is just a waste of energy. Do whatever you think is right. It doesn’t matter if what is right for you is not right for someone else or vice versa. We are all different in our own unique way.

14. Meet new people.

As you’ve already learned, you should make friends with a variety of different people. There is something to learn from everyone.

You don’t have to be close friends with everyone, and sometimes it just feels good to interact with new people. Smile at a passer-by and be nice to the clerk in the store. Help an elderly person across the street and wish your neighbor a nice day. Keep interacting with people and meeting new ones when you are in a relationship.

When two people fall in love, they can become so focused on each other that they become isolated from the rest of the world. You’re not looking for a new partner, but that doesn’t mean you should stop meeting new people. Go out and have fun with your friends, you might make new friends too.

15. Smile and laugh.

Humor is good and makes you happy. It helps you relax and fight stress. Laughter is good and can be contagious. So make sure you have fun every now and then.

Be positive and make an effort to smile more often. By smiling and laughing, you spread happiness around you and increase your own. Your partner may make you laugh, but you should also laugh when they’re not around.

Enjoy life and try to find happiness. A good sense of humor can get you through the toughest of times, and laughter really is like medicine.

If you have negative thoughts, challenge them and try to see the brighter side of things. People who can see the brighter side of life are generally happier.

16. Take breaks.

It’s okay to take a break – from work, from your partner, from everyday life…

If you need a break, ask for one and have one. Do something relaxing that gives you new energy.

You could take a nap, drink tea, listen to music, read a book or watch your favorite TV show. Play with your pet if you have one. Take breaks to just enjoy the day and feel rested. Treat yourself to a spa day at home or have a massage. Spoil yourself a little and take things slow.

You might be tempted to spend most of your time with your partner, but you also need to take a break from them sometimes. Let them know your needs and ask for some time to just take care of themselves.

As long as you don’t make it sound like you want to break up with them, they won’t mind giving you a few hours or days to just do your thing.

17. Turn off your devices.

If you spend a lot of time on your phone, laptop and other devices, make sure you unplug sometimes. Pretend the power went out and just enjoy the technology-free time.

Social media can wait. Text messages can wait. The TV show you’re watching can wait.

Your partner will understand if you let them know that you will not be available for a few hours. Enjoy the silence and light some candles instead of turning on the lights.

Be at peace and comfortable in your own company. This is a great opportunity to meditate or just relax and listen to music.

Remind yourself that you have enough time for this and anything else you want to do. You can take time for yourself. And sometimes you need time away from everyone.

18. Learn to say no.

Set boundaries and learn to say no. It’s okay to be strict and a little selfish, but stay polite and assertive.

People who don’t know how to say no are often overwhelmed with the amount of things they have to do for other people. You are allowed to refuse favors that would burn you out.

If you don’t feel like hanging out with your friends, family, or even your significant other, it’s okay to say no. Don’t feel guilty for being selfish sometimes. You have to think of yourself and take care of your needs before you can focus on other people’s.

19. Do things that make you happy.

Focusing on yourself can mean just feeling good and doing what makes you happy.

This can include a long hot bath after a hard day’s work or opening a bottle of sparkling wine to celebrate an achievement.

It can also mean reading a book, listening to and singing along to your favorite songs, taking a walk, enjoying a glass of wine with gourmet cheese, or putting on a face mask and listening to the sounds of nature.

Find the time to do what makes you happy. Express yourself creatively by painting, drawing, writing a poem or playing an instrument. You can dance and sing loud just because it feels good.

You are allowed to do whatever makes you happy, and it’s okay to ask your partner for time to do it.

20. Talk to a therapist.

Focusing on yourself can also mean addressing unresolved issues and getting rid of baggage. If you want to move forward in life, don’t let your past hold you back.

If you have problems that are still standing in the way of your happiness, talk to a therapist about them.

Part of caring for yourself is asking for help when you need it. If you want to improve, you might need someone who can steer you in the right direction. Talk to a therapist about who you were and who you want to be, and let them help you get there.

Dealing with your problems is also good for your relationship. Your partner could support you in getting help and becoming the best version of yourself.

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Relationships can be difficult at times, and it’s not uncommon for couples to lose their romantic feelings and face a choice between staying together or breaking up.

If you’re in this position right now and unsure about continuing the relationship, it’s important to remember that relationships can go through many different stages.

Just because you just lost feelings doesn’t mean you can never get them back.

Signs your relationship might be in trouble

Below are red flags that may indicate that your relationship may need to be reevaluated:

You stop having conversations. If you used to share details of your day with your partner and ask for their opinion but have stopped doing so, it could be a sign of a lost connection.

If you used to share details of your day with your partner and ask for their opinion but have stopped doing so, it could be a sign of a lost connection. Your attitude has changed. If you feel like you treat others the same but treat your partner differently, it may be a sign that your attitude towards them has changed.

If you feel like you treat others the same but treat your partner differently, it may be a sign that your attitude towards them has changed. You make yourself less available. You feel withdrawn from your partner or you don’t respond to them physically.

You feel withdrawn from your partner or you don’t respond to them physically. You ignore your partner. If you’ve asked about their schedule earlier or checked in on weekdays but feel like you’ve lost interest, it could be a sign that things have changed.

If you’ve asked about their schedule earlier or checked in on weekdays but feel like you’ve lost interest, it could be a sign that things have changed. you don’t fight anymore Maybe you feel like arguing isn’t worth your time. Or you may feel that you are unaffected by the issues raised.

While these are just a few red flags to look out for in yourself, they don’t always mean your relationship is over. If you’re willing to put in the work to rekindle that spark, there are a few things you can do.

How to rekindle a relationship

If you are interested in rekindling your relationship, there are ways to do it. The most important factor is that you and your partner want the same thing, whether it’s relationship therapy or a divorce.

If either of you isn’t interested in saving the marriage, it won’t work unless you have a very strong reason to stay together.

Take a step back to go forward

Take some time to reflect on what that first phase of your relationship was like. Wonder what was different. Did you treat each other the way you do now?

Try to relive those moments, whether it’s going out on a date, ordering the same meals you would have eaten back then, or doing some of the old things you two used to do together for fun. These things may seem insignificant, but they can be essential in getting your mind to remember how you felt about someone and why you felt the way you once felt.

Remind yourself of the things you love about your partner

Take some time to think about the qualities that you love and value in your partner. Notice things that make them smile, like their sense of humor or their spontaneity.

When those traits matter most, plan more fun together by exploring new activities in exciting ways. If it’s not these qualities, but rather friendship and loving gestures that make them great partners, then try to connect with them every day instead of prioritizing other things.

Safeguarding and supporting the interests of you and your partner

In the early stages of a relationship, you both still see each other as separate, so keep the aspects of yourself that make you feel fulfilled. Often it is the same qualities that made you fall in love with your partner. Don’t forget how she made it feel to be your person.

Build a culture of appreciation and respect

We all have our flaws. Instead of focusing on your partner’s shortcomings, learn to accept them. And whenever you can express the things you appreciate in your partner, by all means do so.

According to relationship expert Kyle Benson, “The idea is to catch your partner doing something right and say, ‘Thank you for doing this. I noticed you cleared out the dishwasher and I appreciate that.’”

Strengthen your emotional intelligence

Erin Leonard, PhD, says, “Getting close is easy, but staying close requires two people to possess certain emotional capacities. A discrepancy in emotional intelligence can create a schism.”

Healthy relationships require both partners to work hard and empathize with each other in order to be successful. When a partner isn’t ready, it can create an issue that needs to be resolved quickly before the relationship deteriorates.

talk to them

While it may seem obvious, many couples forget how to sit down and talk to each other. You don’t have to be direct and tell them how you’re feeling, but small conversations can help you open the doors to those meaningful discussions later.

When it happens, be open and let your partner know how you’re feeling. Together you can decide how to proceed. With honesty and trust, communication can give you the boost you need to reignite a relationship.

Make a date with your partner again

It’s easy to stop paying as much attention to your partner as it did at first, but if you want to rekindle the feelings you used to share, it might be as simple as paying more attention to the relationship.

If you are married, remember that this does not mean that you have to stop dating. Treat her like you used to when you were trying to win her over. Reflect on what you used to do for each other and recreate those experiences, e.g. B. where you went on your first date, things you used to do together, etc.

Is it normal to lose romantic feelings?

It’s totally normal to have times when you feel more or less in love with your partner. At the same time, it is painful to have silence in a relationship that makes you feel lost or in doubt about your future.

You may still “love” your partner, and you may still want to make it work out for them. But for some reason it seems inaccessible.

If you’re struggling in your relationship, at some point you’ll have to decide whether you want to put in the work or do something else.

Couples Counseling

As long as you’re both willing to fight for your relationship, couples therapy can help you make the changes and progress you need. An experienced therapist can help you identify the areas that need improvement and help you learn different strategies to improve your relationship, such as: B. active listening or communication skills.

However, remember that therapy only works if you are willing to put in the necessary time and effort. It is not enough to simply go to therapy and listen throughout the session. You need to take the recommended steps your therapist suggests and look for places to make those changes.

Transparency and honesty will always be the most important step in strengthening feelings and the quality of your relationship. If you’re not willing to put in the work, consider meeting with a counselor on your own. They can help you make a decision and process how to move forward.

A word from Verywell

If at some point you still don’t have romantic feelings, it’s important that you start to accept that reality and move on. Your partner deserves a relationship partner to share love with. Nothing less than that, for they are worthy of a lifetime of joy and affection.

Sometimes we include products that we think will be useful to our readers. If you make a purchase through links on this site, we may receive a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

What does it mean when a guy keeps coming into your life?

What does it mean when a guy keeps coming into your life? What message is he trying to convey to you?

Well… that’s definitely not easy to figure out!

But this post will help you get a clear idea of ​​what might be going on.

It also gives you a great insight into the world of men and how they think.

So, let’s not waste another moment and get straight to it:

1) He’s not sure what he really wants from you

This guy keeps coming into your life. He’s obviously interested…because he’s constantly calling, texting, trying to see you.

But then he ends up backing down and not carrying out what he did.

Why?

Because he’s not sure what he really wants from you. He probably wants to be with you, but not 100%. He prefers to keep his options open and try them first before committing to you.

He’s playing a cat and mouse game. He doesn’t know what he wants, so he keeps trying to figure it out by playing around the edges.

Put simply, he’s not exactly sure if he wants to be with you.

2) This guy is not ready for a serious relationship

Maybe the guy who keeps coming back into your life isn’t sure what he wants. But he could also be on the fence about something else…

He may not be ready for a serious relationship.

Do you want to know why men are generally not ready for a relationship?

Here are the most common reasons:

He’s been really hurt in the past.

He doesn’t want to be tied down.

He hasn’t gotten over his ex.

He’s just out of a relationship and wants to play on the field for a while before getting serious again.

He’s not mature enough for a relationship.

As you can see, there are many reasons why a man is not ready to start a serious relationship.

And here’s the thing… those reasons don’t even have anything to do with you.

3) No relationship has a one-size-fits-all solution

I know that from my own expirience.

My own experience is that most relationship advice from friends and family backfires.

But my own struggle with an undecided man over the past year has made me want to try something new.

I spoke to a spiritual advisor at Psychic Source about my options with him.

It was a great decision that I didn’t expect!

Because the medium I spoke to was intelligent, compassionate, and down to earth. They approached my challenge with a man who kept coming back into my life and really helped me approach it in an effective way.

I finally felt like I had a roadmap for my love life for the first time in years.

Click here to try Psychic Source for yourself.

You know a lot about men who retire and then come back and how to optimize your love life and break down the barriers that are holding you back.

4) He likes you, but not enough to take you seriously

The hard truth might be that he likes you, but not enough to commit to you. You may be feeling all these emotions and thinking of many different things…

However, it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t feel the same way. They must both be on the same page.

Signs that he likes you, but not enough…at least for now…are:

He keeps coming into your life.

He wants to see you and be with you for a little bit. But then he can’t keep it up.

The way he acts is hot and cold.

He will withdraw from his actions and then come back and reconnect with you.

His actions do not match what he says.

5) He might give you another chance

So this guy keeps coming into your life.

You’ve met, hung out, maybe even dated before. But he never sticks around for long and is always looking for the next best thing.

Why? Because he just hasn’t found what he wants yet. He knows you’re hot, but he’ll have to keep looking until the perfect girl shows up…

wait what

Yes that’s right. Maybe this guy wants to find the one. But he hasn’t found her yet… so he keeps coming back into your life.

This could be because he is giving you (unconsciously or not) another chance to be that woman for him. However, he won’t commit until he feels that you really are the one for him.

6) He plays with your emotions

One of the reasons a guy keeps coming back into your life is if he’s a gamer.

What does that mean?

Well, he will be friendly, flirtatious and even nice to you. He will invite you for a drink and will even try to get intimate with you.

But the emotions won’t be there. Or he won’t care enough about you to invest in a serious relationship… he’d rather keep playing with you and maybe other women too.

Gamers are the ones who keep coming back into your life.

These men are also good at confusing you… and maybe even lying to you.

They’ll make you think they’re interested, but then when it’s time to come through and be with you, they disappear.

In other words, they play with your emotions and don’t care about you at all…they just want to get the best out of the business.

7) Your behavior is giving him mixed signals

Let me tell you a little bit about men. They love to be admired and to feel needed.

So, when you send mixed signals to this guy, sometimes you trigger his innate urges and make him go crazy about you, but sometimes you don’t make him feel wanted or needed at all.

And that is certainly a big mistake because it creates confusion and makes him insecure about you. He’s unsure if he can get what he wants from you.

If you’re looking to sort out any insecurities surrounding your relationship, a gifted counselor could seriously help.

I’ve already mentioned how helpful Psychic Source’s counselors have been when I’ve faced relationship issues.

While we can learn a lot about a situation from articles like this, nothing quite compares to getting a personal reading from a gifted person.

From clarifying the situation to helping you make life-changing decisions, these counselors empower you to make decisions with confidence.

Click here for your personal reading.

8) This guy is lonely and that’s why he comes back

Loneliness can sometimes push us in the wrong direction. This guy might be lonely, vulnerable, and want something more out of life but don’t know how to get it.

So what is he doing? He turns to you because he’s just looking for some form of connection…anything, really…just to make himself feel better about his life.

It could be that he’s just a little lonely and that’s why he’s reaching out for some form of connection. After all, he’s not the only one in the world going through something difficult.

The thing is, if he doesn’t have the strength to do it, he’ll never really know how to maintain the connection with you. He will keep coming back into your life because of his own insecurities and not knowing how to make a lasting connection.

9) You are a distraction from his problems

This guy keeps coming into your life. He has a lot of luggage and for some reason he thinks you can help him.

But in fact, he will do just about anything to get away from his problems.

Whether it’s an ex, a family situation, or an unhappy job…he’s got some big problems, and you could be the answer to all of his problems.

The thing is, he’s looking for something to make him feel better about his life, and then you come around… However, that doesn’t mean he cares about you.

The reality is that he will use you to make himself feel better and forget about his problems…at least for a while.

10) You are just a rebound for him

Maybe this guy keeps coming into your life looking for a rebound. That means he was just dumped, got hurt in the past, or just isn’t ready for something bigger.

He might want to have some fun, but that doesn’t suggest he has any real feelings for you…

To be honest, he might not be sure if he would be interested in going through with it.

So what is he doing? He turns to you because you’re available and he doesn’t need to commit.

You might be confused by his actions and feel like he really cares about you, but he’s not sure yet.

how should i know He keeps going and coming back into your life… again and again.

11) He is only attracted to you physically and sexually

Another reason a guy keeps coming back into your life?

He’s only attracted to you physically and sexually and doesn’t want to commit to a serious relationship with you.

let me explain.

Physical and sexual attraction are very powerful things. And they can even override our common sense at times.

⌄ Scroll down to continue reading the article ⌄ Do you suffer from empty and draining relationships? Legendary shaman Rudá Iandê reveals the 3 most important factors for healthy and loving relationships (and experiencing them now). Watch the free video now ⌄ Scroll down to continue reading the article ⌄

For example, he knows that the two of you are not a good match. He knows you have different beliefs and values. He knows you’re looking for something more serious…

But still, he keeps coming back into your life because he is physically and sexually attracted to you.

Remember: he doesn’t want anything serious and he doesn’t care about being with you…it’s just physical and sexual and that’s it.

12) You broke up but he’s not over you

What does it mean when he comes back to you?

You may have broken up, but he’s not over you yet. He still holds on to the past and hopes for a future.

It could be that he still wants to reconnect with you because he hopes things will work out between the two of you… even if they never do.

That could be the reason why he keeps coming back into your life. He may want to show you that he has changed and that he is ready to commit to you again.

13) This guy feels guilty for leaving you

did he leave you If so, maybe this guy feels guilty for leaving you.

Maybe he’s using his heart and coming back into your life to make things right instead of using his head and looking out for his own best interests.

He may have left you for the wrong reasons… and he knows it. And it eats him up inside.

In other words, he’s not sure he made the right decision. He may doubt himself and feel guilty for leaving you.

So what is he doing? He comes back into your life to fix it.

14) He just doesn’t have any options anymore

I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it could be true.

When a guy keeps coming back into your life and you have no idea why it could be because he just doesn’t have any options.

If there is no one better for him to spend time with, he will get in touch with you.

However, that doesn’t mean he sees you as the best option for him…he’ll just do it because there’s no one else.

Look, if a guy keeps coming back into your life, it could mean he just wants to have fun… it could be that he’s just out of options.

I know this is hard to hear and accept, but we are all human. We’re just trying to figure out love and understand our feelings.

15) This guy is the controlling guy

This type of guy won’t allow you to do anything that might stop him from being in control… he’ll just keep leaving you and keep coming back into your life.

He will always want to be the center of attention, the top dog and the one with all the power. Such a man will not stop until he gets what he wants.

But what does he want?

His behavior can be explained as a form of control. This guy might just be trying to control you and everything you do. He might just want to show you who’s in charge… and keep his power over you.

His desire to be in charge makes him behave this way. In a way, he knows that with you in his life, he can’t lose control…so he does so at all costs.

16) He can’t stand the idea of ​​you dating another man

This reason is really selfish. Why?

Because this guy doesn’t want you to be his, but he can’t stand the idea of ​​you dating another man either.

Why should he do that?

If he does, experts say, it’s because he’s scared of losing you forever.

While this may sound like a paradox to you, it isn’t when you think about it. He’s afraid that if someone else can give you what you need, you won’t come back to him.

Even if he hasn’t decided on you yet, he still wants you to be there whenever he’s in the mood to spend time with you.

That’s unfair, isn’t it?

17) This guy left you before and you took him back

This is about habits. What I mean?

If a guy left you and then you took him back, then there’s a good chance he’ll leave you again thinking you’ll take him back like you did before.

In other words, he doesn’t expect you to reject him. He expects you to welcome him back as you have in the past. He thinks you’re giving him a third, fourth, fifth chance.

However, this should not be true. You should do your best to avoid this. Why?

This situation is actually a cycle that has been repeated a number of times and is likely to repeat itself in the future.

18) He has changed and is seeking your approval

Men are complex beings, so this list continues with another reason why men keep coming back to the same woman: They have changed and are looking for approval.

Basically, men are always trying to prove themselves to others. They try to prove that they are worthy, strong and capable.

And that’s also why this guy might try to prove something to you through his behavior: he might want to prove how much he’s changed and how much he’s capable of.

But what does that mean?

Maybe he wants to give your relationship another chance. Now that he’s a better version of himself, he might think your relationship could work.

19) Things didn’t work out between him and his other options

I know that’s something you don’t want to hear either, but it’s understandable.

This guy just compares you to other women and sees if you are the best option for him or not.

He may have left your relationship before that to date other women…

But it took a while for him to come back into your life. It took him some time to evaluate the various options that were available to him and decide which was better.

So the bottom line was that he needed time to figure out what was best for him.

However, that doesn’t mean you’re the best for him or that he’ll stop looking. Even if he keeps coming back to you.

20) Someone in his life pushed him to come back to you

I know this may sound a bit crazy, but it’s possible. Where from?

If someone in their life pushes them back to you, they will inevitably come back to you, even if they are unsure of your cause.

Some examples that come to mind are:

He has a friend who has a crush on your BFF. So their being together would benefit the other two.

His mother liked you very much and he cares what his mother thinks.

He’s friends with your friends and doesn’t want to lose them.

Don’t get me wrong, these reasons are childish, but they’re still a possibility.

They definitely won’t help your relationship because someone else’s power shouldn’t be what brings you and them together.

How do you deal with a guy who keeps coming back?

Regardless of his reasons, this guy keeps coming into your life. So if he comes back how should you react?

First you should ask yourself what you really want. Do you want him to just “come back” into your life or do you want to be part of something new?

And secondly, keep in mind that this guy still has his issues. He may not have completely changed and the same things could happen to him that always have.

In other words, consider that this guy might still have a few things to figure out. Don’t lose yourself to him. Don’t give him all your precious time and attention.

When you focus on your own happiness, everything else follows. You will be able to see who he really is, as a person and as a man, and you may find that this guy is not the right one for you.

Why is he keeping me if he doesn’t want me?

The question of why a guy keeps coming back can be confusing.

But it might be easier to answer the question: why is he keeping me with him?

That’s because you still have something to offer him—be it companionship, sex, or something else.

So, even if he’s not that into you or doesn’t love you anymore, he still wants to spend time with you and is willing to accept anything that comes his way.

What to do?

I know this sounds really bad and heartless, but in the end if he doesn’t love you then there’s no point in trying to make him love you.

If he keeps coming back to you, it’s because he doesn’t want you out of his life, but that doesn’t mean he loves you.

So instead of trying to get him to love you, you should focus on yourself.

How can you become a better person? What can you do to improve your quality of life?

If you continue to focus on yourself and your own happiness, maybe he will start to realize that you are the right person for him.

He keeps coming into your life. What to do?

By now you should have a good idea of ​​why this guy keeps coming back into your life.

So what can you do to solve the problem?

Well, I mentioned how a talented consultant has helped me in the past. When I got a reading from them I was blown away by how kind and genuinely helpful they were.

Not only can they give you more clues as to what the future holds with this guy, but they can also advise you on what’s really in store for your future.

Click here for your personal reading.

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Does your wife want a break with you — or worse, a breakup? Then you might have heard the advice, “Give her space and she’ll come back.” But is that even true? let’s find out

Sometimes even good relationships can have bumpy patches. After being excited and in love with you for a long time, she may now be feeling listless and distant. She might even start canceling appointments with you for no apparent reason.

If she starts withdrawing from you and your relationship, what should you do? In this article, we talk about the concept of giving her “space” to get her back. Why is? What is “space” anyway? And most importantly: does it really work?

Read on to get the answers.

Give her space and she will come back

The idea of ​​”giving her space” is to give the love she once had for you a chance to rekindle. You want her to miss you enough to go back to your relationship and regret that she ever thought of leaving.

The challenge? That’s easier said than done. It’s easy to get so emotionally connected to her that you can’t bear to spend time apart. Or you’re afraid she won’t come back. Or you don’t know how to live with yourself if you ever lose her.

If you’re feeling that way right now, then this article is for you. Let’s start by discussing the idea of ​​”space” in a relationship and what it entails.

Will she miss me if I give her space?

“Space” in practice means a period of minimal to no contact with your partner. That means you won’t meet, you won’t call, and you won’t even text or chat each other. They cut off contact, and that means the relationship falters for a while.

Oddly enough, it works. That is why it is constantly suggested by relationship therapists and psychologists. Simply put, if you give her space, she misses you. And often it’s enough to bring you back together with a relationship that’s stronger than ever. That’s the idea.

Signs that she’s about to come back to you

You know you did it right when:

She breaks through space itself and reaches out in front of you

She comes back to you after the agreed time happier and refreshed

She apologizes for ever thinking of leaving you

Congratulations, you gave her some space and she came back!

Well, here’s the thing: She’s asking for time off for a reason. You might be doing something wrong in the relationship and it’s making her think twice about staying.

That means you have something to do. Let’s start.

Why you should give her space to miss you

There are many good reasons to bite the bullet and give her the space she’s asking for. Be prepared to be away from her for at least 3-4 weeks and trust that by doing so, you are doing your relationship a favour.

Here are some of those good reasons to give her the space she wants:

distance = magnetism

The first reason space is good is that it builds magnetism. That’s basically the essence of any “give her space and she’ll come back” advice. That is, the further away she is from you, the more she will miss certain things about your relationship. It could be your camaraderie, or your silly jokes, or the feeling of comfort or excitement you used to give her.

That’s the key. You will want her to see for herself that you were better off. So she will reach out, come back and give your relationship another chance.

You might play hard to get

The second reason is that she may be playing hard to get. Then she has other choices in her life — that is, other men she likes — and she wants to make sure she doesn’t settle for you. So she runs away to see if you chase her.

That’s not mean or cynical of her, by the way. It’s something that Mother Nature has firmly ingrained in all mentally healthy women. And ironically, the more you chase after her and the harder you work to “win” her, the less attracted she will become to you.

Why? Think about it like this. Imagine she has two suitors: you and another man. For your part, you’ll pull out all the stops to win her heart—dates, gifts, promises of a happy ending, and so on.

Meanwhile, this other guy is the opposite of you. He lives his life the best he can and her attraction to him is just a by-product of that.

Who do you think she will be more attracted to you? The other guy of course! He’s the one she thinks is stronger and better able to take care of her.

So hold back the urge to chase them. It’s so much better to give her the space she needs and spend the time working on making you more attractive to her.

And that starts with:

have a life purpose

make no mistake You must have a mission in your life that is bigger than her. It should be a goal big enough that if she ever stops you from achieving it, you would let her go immediately. It has to be that big.

Find something that is close to your heart – something that you will enjoy doing for the rest of your life. It could be:

– Search for a cure for a currently incurable disease

– Build a million dollar business

– Feed orphans in your community

– Reaching a level of self-development you have never reached before

– To travel around the world

Yes, it will make her jealous. And yet, at the same time, it will tell her that you’re not a desperate, needy guy like most other men in her life. Instead, she needs to win you over, and she should think twice about doing something that might drive you away.

How to give her space without ignoring her

Now you might be wondering: Can I give her space but still be in contact with her?

First, it’s not ideal. After all, it’s about giving her space to come back, to see what life is like without you. If you keep in touch with her, she will find it harder to miss you. It’s also a lot easier to send her needy texts and hurtful confessions. All in all, staying in touch will jeopardize your relationship.

That said, it’s still possible to pull it off — as long as you make the most of your time without them. Here are some of the main things I suggest you do:

Escape from the “scarcity mentality”

Do you feel like she’s the only girl for you? If you do, then you will be plagued by a scarcity mentality, and it will only increase your risk of losing it. Spend some time learning about the scarcity mentality to escape it. It might be time to meet new people and realize that she’s not your whole world, after all.

Speaking of meeting new people…

Escape from “One-itis”

What is Oneitis? It means you think she’s “The One” and you don’t even think about looking at other women. And yes, it’s just as bad as the scarcity mentality.

Here’s the thing: Sure, she might be “The One,” but she’s definitely not “The Only One.” There are many other women out there who would be great for you – and maybe even better for you than them.

So feel free to keep in touch with her while giving her “space” at the same time, but do yourself a favor and meet other women while you’re at it, even just to hang out. You will be surprised what you will find.

be male

It’s always a good idea to spend time manifying yourself. It may very well be the lack of masculinity in you that made her want some space.

Start with the most obvious steps:

Start exercising and get fit

Break a bad habit that has made you unhealthy or unattractive

Start making more money somehow

And yes – meet more women to boost your confidence

Get good relationship advice

After all, there’s nothing wrong with educating yourself on how to make her fall in love with you again. I would say it’s wrong not to do it. Even in the happiest of relationships, there is always room for improvement.

What if she doesn’t come back?

If you give her space to miss you, there’s a big chance she’ll come back. But sometimes when you ask, “Will she come back if I give her space?” The answer can be no.

Now let’s move on to the worst case scenario. What about after she gets some distance from you, she decides she doesn’t want to come back after all?

It’s a shame, but these are the breaks. She might really not have been happy with you.

Luckily, if you’ve spent your time well:

– Find and pursue a purpose in life

– Escape the scarcity mentality and one-itis

– become more masculine

– Get good relationship advice

…then you soon have two options.

You can either start a new relationship with a new girlfriend — or you can get your ex back and do it even better this time. With your newer, more attractive self, you have a pretty good chance of getting it right.

So go ahead – if she wants space, give it to her. It could be the best thing that can happen to your relationship.

IN THIS ARTICLE

If your girlfriend has indicated a lack of air to breathe, you may become quite concerned for fear of losing her. Read this post to learn if your reaction is justified and understand the importance of giving it space.

Most men worry about their relationship status and jump to conclusions like: B. A breakup when her friend asks for space. While space can sometimes mean the end of the relationship, often it just means it needs a breather.

Finding balance is an important part of a relationship. Giving too much space could tear you apart, giving too little can suffocate them. So if you are confused about how much space to give your girlfriend, this post offers some effective tips on the subject.

Why is it important to give a girl space?

Space in the relationship can often make it stronger. Here are some advantages of the room.

1. Maintains distinct personality

While you are excellent at working as a team, you are a distinct individual with your own interests and independent ways of thinking. Giving space to your girlfriend gives you both time to do things that appeal to you and to grow as individuals. This will make you both more fulfilling as a team.

2. Allows room to breathe

If you’re constantly hip-jointed, the relationship can become too overwhelming after a while. The space will give her room to breathe and reduce excessive codependency in the relationship.

3. Gives her a chance to miss you

If you’re always there, she won’t know how it feels without your loving presence. Giving her space is a good way to make her miss your company and keep the excitement alive.

When does a girl ask for space?

Here are a few instances where a girl might need the breather.

1. She wants independence

If you’ve been spending all your time together, maybe your girl is tired of seeing you and craves some alone time.

2. She feels suffocated

If you’ve become overly possessive and clingy in the relationship, she may feel suffocated. This is a classic sign of an unhealthy relationship, and the more you try to control her, the further away she may become from you.

3. She is angry and cannot communicate

Maybe the two of you had a fight, or maybe she asked you for help with something and you didn’t get through. She probably needs some space to calm her anger before engaging in a proper discussion with you.

4. She wants a breakup

A request for space can sometimes mean that your girl is planning to break up. Maybe you’ve been struggling for a while or she’s lost interest in you. Either way, she probably needs space to gauge her feelings before making that final call.

5. She has too much to do in her life

Sometimes a girl needs space when she’s overwhelmed by too many things, like too many college or work assignments. Or she probably has to deal with her problems. Dealing with too many things might exhaust her and she needs to relax.

6. She thinks things are moving too fast

If you both had an intense attraction and became physically or emotionally intimate too quickly, she probably needs emotional space to process her feelings. Maybe she needs time to regain control and reconsider the relationship.

This is how you give her the right space: 14 tips

Giving your girlfriend space will ensure that the two of you aren’t truly apart, even if you are apart.

1. Discuss the terms “space”

If the girl asks for space, sit down and discuss the space requirements. Tell her you support her needs, but feel free to ask how she defines the space. Does she mean she wants more personal time or wants you to stop invading her personal space? Or is she looking for a proper break from the relationship? Also discuss the time it will take.

2. Keep the conversations light-hearted

If you both have decided to keep in touch at this stage, avoid bothering her about relationship issues or relationship status unless she initiates the topic. Keep your discussions light and full of banter. You can try light-hearted flirting, but avoid over-the-top declarations of love. It’s important to give her the space she needs, so don’t do anything that might pressure her.

3. Stop invading their time

If she tells you she’s out with her friends or busy with a personal job, let her do her thing. Avoid interfering with constant texting or calling. If she goes out, you can text or call to verify that she has reached the location and again to confirm that she has arrived home (unless she specifically told you to). The rest of the time, avoid disturbing her.

4. Avoid bombarding them with questions

Trust your girl and avoid bombarding her with questions every time she goes out. When she is faced with a barrage of questions like “Where are you going?”, “With whom?” or “Why are you wearing that?” the moment she decides to go outside, she becomes irritated. You can ask her questions, but don’t ask too many at once and make sure the timing is right.

5. Don’t take it to heart

Don’t take it personally when your girl asks for a seat. You may feel hurt, but don’t take it out on her by fighting, cutting off, or being distant. By punishing them, you will only push them away. Believe that this phase is good for individual growth and if you two are meant to be together it will only bring you closer.

6. Respect their wishes

Don’t ignore your girl’s wishes if you want her to be with you. Give her the time and space she needs. If she asks you not to contact her for a few days, leave her alone. If she wants to get in touch with you on her terms (weekends only or just virtually), accept her. Avoid pushing her to talk or spend time with you.

7. Avoid chasing them

While she’s enjoying her space, don’t try to stalk her in person or online. Stop checking her social media. Don’t try to visit her usual places to encounter her. If you’re having trouble resisting the temptation to stalk their social media, delete your account for a few days.

8. Show your support with special gestures

With a few thoughtful gestures, you can show your girl that you support her desire for space. This will make her feel your love without you seeming clingy. When she wants to spend time with her friends, she books her favorite restaurant or buys movie tickets for the group. A spa or salon voucher can also be a perfect gift to make your girl feel pampered.

9. Take time for yourself

While your girl is making time for herself, you don’t have to put your life on hold. Use this opportunity to take time for yourself. Follow your passion or discover new interests. Work on your physical and mental fitness. Doing things you love will keep you busy and distract you from things.

10. Don’t be desperate to jump their bones

When you spend some time apart, it’s natural to crave intimacy. However, initiating sex the moment you meet shows desperation, which is a major turnoff. Go on a real date and have a chat. When she initiates intimacy, you can follow her example.

11. Spend some time socializing

Instead of worrying about what your girlfriend is doing, spend time with your loved ones. Connect with friends and have fun. Spend some time with your family. This will improve your mood and also give her some much-needed space. Your happiness is important to the long-term success of your relationship.

12. Don’t judge

What she does in her free time is up to her. Maybe she wants to spend time at home watching Netflix or going to clubs with friends. Don’t judge or try to control their time. Telling her not to go anywhere or do anything will only upset her. Nobody likes to be controlled.

13. Let the relationship go at its natural pace

Just because you’re worried about losing her, don’t keep asking her how much longer she needs space. Avoid forcibly taking the relationship to the next level with big declarations of love, proposals, or by asking her to move in. Instead, enjoy the moment when you meet and let the relationship proceed at its natural pace.

14. Be there for her when she needs you

Space does not mean that you have separated. You both are still in each other’s lives. Let her enjoy her space but be there whenever she needs you. If she plans to go out of town, offer to drop her off at the airport or pick her up if she needs it. Don’t push, just show that you will be available. If she works late, let her know you will pick her up if she wants.

Will she come back if I give her space?

Whether or not she comes back will depend on factors like her feelings for you, why she needs space, and what happens during this breather. Even if you support them fully and do everything perfectly, it can still go one way or the other. The distance could help her see that she wants to be with you or give her clarity that the two of you aren’t a good match. In short, there is no guarantee that your girl will come back to you.

However, if you try to convince her that distance isn’t necessary by constantly harassing her in person or through calls or texts, she’s bound to become irritated. Your actions could push her further away and cause the relationship to break down. Therefore, the best option is to give your girl some space and see where it goes.

Frequently Asked Questions 1. Is it a good idea to give a girl space? Giving a girl space in a relationship can be a good idea because it will help her maintain her freedom while still being in love with you. Space in a relationship allows people to grow more, improve their personality, and reduce codependency. This gives the partners self-confidence and true happiness. 2. Does space in a relationship mean separation? Giving space in a relationship doesn’t always mean a breakup. Sometimes partners need space to reflect on their feelings and engage in activities they weren’t able to do. It also gives them a breather and allows them to appreciate their relationship more. A reunion after a short break can strengthen your bond and give you better clarity about what you want out of the relationship. However, sometimes when your relationship is going through a rough patch and you feel separated from your partner, giving space can mean a breakup.

The word “space” is feared in relationships, but it’s not always a bad thing. It could just mean that your girl wants some alone time. This time apart can sometimes reignite the fire in relationships and bring couples closer together. So stop assuming the worst and give her the space she needs. If you two are meant to be together, she will come back to you.

Important Notes It is important to give a girl space in a relationship to strengthen her personality and reduce codependency.

She may ask you for space when she wants independence, is overwhelmed by other responsibilities, or is upset about something.

You can give her space by letting her enjoy her time with me, respecting her needs, and being supportive.

Was this information helpful?

Sometimes, getting over an unrequited crush can be harder than getting over your ex. If you think about it, a crush only exists in your head. Yes, you are a real person, but the romantic relationship you have with her is not, so it’s easy to fantasize about her and idolize who you are as a person. That’s why it’s so difficult to know when to give up on a boy or girl you like, since the signs may not be as obvious – unlike with an ex, when you usually know it’s time to let them go . If you’re not sure when or even how to move on from a crush, then you’re definitely not alone.

As New York-based relationship expert Susan Winter tells Elite Daily, a crush is all about fantasy, which is why it’s hard to face reality when you have a crush on someone. “A ‘crush’ is the lowest level on the relationship scale. It’s more of a mental dalliance than anything real,” she says. “Crushes are in fantasy land. We “imagine” an incredible romance with this person. However, we don’t know enough about them to know if that’s even a reality.” Here are some signs that it might be time for you to give up the dream.

You hardly acknowledge your existence

Delmaine Donson/E+/Getty Images

OK, so you have an undying love for this person and they, well… they’re not even entirely sure they know your name. No matter how hard you try to get their attention, they just don’t seem to put up with it. If they don’t pick up any of your cues, or if they “don’t notice your presence,” Winter says, “that’s a clear sign that you’re not on their radar. Either they have a partner or they don’t like you. While it’s hard to accept, it’s best to move on.” It can be frustrating when someone doesn’t acknowledge your presence, especially if you’re looking at them as a potential life partner.

What can be even worse is when they don’t even know you exist. Diana Dorell, intuitive dating coach and author of The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again, previously told Elite Daily that many people have fallen in love with someone they’ve never met in real life. “It’s possible to form a strong emotional and even spiritual connection with someone you’ve never met in real life,” Dorell said. But you must be extremely careful, as Dorell warned that having too much of a crush on someone you’ve never met before can be harmful. “Without the opportunity to spend time with someone personally in real life, it might be easier to fall in love with lust or fall in love with an idea of ​​who they are [versus] who they actually are,” she said. No kidding I’m still trying to get over BTS.

All you want is flirtatious banter

No joke, there was a guy I talked to for years just because we had great flirty banter. And when I say “spoken,” I mean literally spoken… and apparently this is a pretty normal situation. “You both flirt and flirt, but that’s it. All that banter and innuendo goes nowhere in the real world,” Winter says of what she calls the flirting loop. “No matter how clearly you greenlight your crush to proceed, he doesn’t take action. Even if you suggest a plan to see each other, they don’t respond or reciprocate.” The flirtation loop is another of Winter’s most obvious signs that it’s time to move on — and hopefully to someone who actually knows how lucky they are he has to hang out with you in real life.

Another sign that things will never get beyond texting: when you can’t even get more than a few words out of your crush. According to online dating expert Julie Spira, this is a clear sign the person isn’t that into you. “If someone isn’t that into you, their replies to your text messages will be brief, like one to three words,” Spira previously told Elite Daily. “By sending a one or two word reply when it doesn’t include a cute emoji, gif, or exclamation mark, that’s a sign that the person isn’t into you and is responding out of obligation.” Phew, pump.

They are getting in the way of your IRL dating life

Anyone who has had a crush can attest that your relationship with your crush is mostly in your head. And that’s totally cool until your fantasy about that person starts interfering with your IRL relationships. As Winter says of crushes, “Most intrigues are in our heads. Keeping a firm grip on what’s real and what’s imaginary will help you decide if the crush is a viable option or just a delicious daydream.” And if it’s just a daydream, it might put you off dating someone meet, you know, really.

It helps to know what’s real and what’s not by examining your relationship with your crush. You know they like you when they “ask about your day and start sending you things they think you’d like,” said Cherlyn Chong, a dating and breakup recovery coach for professionals Women, previously told Elite Daily. “They could also invite you somewhere with a group of friends, sort of like a date but something that they can also pass off as a friendly gesture.” But if they don’t do any of that, then your crush probably doesn’t feel the way you do about you And as Winter says, “It’s time to break free.”

You become obsessed

Who hasn’t caught themselves inexplicably wasting a few minutes of their day fantasizing about their crush? It’s only natural, but if you feel like your brain is wandering to Crushville, USA a little more than usual, it’s time to catch up. “When you find yourself obsessing over your crush, it’s time to leave the imagination. ‘ says Winters. “You bore your friends by recounting everything your crush has done or said? Are you constantly repeating your interactions? Are you already planning your future together? Do your emotions go up and down depending on your crush’s attention or lack thereof?” If you answered yes to her questions, Winter says, “You’re obsessed and you need to move on.”

Todd Baratz, a psychotherapist who specializes in relationships, said it’s best to start dating again after you’ve had a crush, as it can help take your mind off that special someone. “You would never turn down your dream job because you were sad about leaving your previous one,” he previously told Elite Daily, so go out and date and be intimate with other people! “This can be extremely helpful in opening up to feeling desire and being desired,” he added. Getting back out there can remind you how good it feels when someone reciprocates your affection (because yes, you deserve it!).

They are not available

Westend61/Westend61/Getty Images

It’s possible that you’ve chosen someone to have a crush on without even knowing it, and that’s not uncommon. “There’s a psychological component to wanting what we can’t have,” dating coach and dating app expert Meredith Golden previously told Elite Daily. “The more unreachable someone is, the more attractive they appear.” And there’s nothing quite as appealing as dating someone who’s out of our league — or you might be telling yourself that.

Golden explained that wanting to date someone who is unattainable can lead us to like them for the wrong reasons. “Liking someone who isn’t available isn’t dangerous, which means it usually doesn’t move forward,” she said. But if you focus on someone you can never have, then you’re missing out on the fun of actually getting someone.

You are with someone else

While this is a total Taylor Swift “You Belong With Me” situation where you know they should be with you and not their current partner, Winter suggests skipping the drama and finding someone else who you can develop a crush on—preferably someone who is more available. “It’s a clear sign that you should move on,” she says. “Whatever the mental appeal, pursuing this person will prove messy for everyone involved.” Besides, why would you want to date someone who’s taken?

And if they’ve decided to continue in a relationship with you before ending it with their partner, then that says a lot about them… and none of it’s good. “Rather than feeling like you’ve won an award, it’s a good idea to ask yourself why they’re willing to lie or cheat on someone they care about,” said Pricilla Martinez, CEO of Regroop Online Life Coaching , previously told Elite Daily. “It says a lot about their ability to move on with one relationship as they search for the next.” Sounds like it’s time to move on.

You revealed your feelings and they didn’t do anything about it

If you’ve had a crush on someone for a while, you may feel ready to confess your feelings to them. Suppose you wrote them a love letter and they didn’t reply, and it’s been two weeks. You may be wondering what now? Should you give them up? According to Martinez, there’s nothing wrong with telling someone how you’re feeling, but you should just be prepared for the “consequences” that might come afterward.

“You can let someone know how you’re feeling and then let them do whatever they want with that information,” Martinez previously told Elite Daily formed with them. “It’s also important to give your crush space and time, everything.” to process, but if he doesn’t return your feelings then you know it’s time to leave fantasy land.

I know that getting away from a crush is often easier said than done, but remember: you are an absolute gem and anyone would be lucky to date you. Find someone who is as into you as you are into them because you deserve the love you give.

Experts:

Susan Winter, relationship expert

Diana Dorell, intuitive dating coach and author of The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again

Julie Spira, online dating expert

Pricilla Martinez, CEO of Regroop Online Life Coaching

Cherlyn Chong, dating and breakup recovery coach

Todd Baratz, psychotherapist specializing in relationships

Meredith Golden, dating coach and dating apps expert

Editor’s Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff.

There are a million reasons people choose to be together and the fear of being alone runs high.

Because of the dramatic and very millennia-old fear of dying alone, people sometimes find themselves in relationships they never intended in the first place and settle for a partner they would not have otherwise chosen.

Being in a lackluster relationship can be extremely isolating and lonely, leaving you with few people to talk to and a desire to connect even more deeply than if you were single.

That’s why it’s lonelier to settle down with someone you don’t really love than to just stay single.

You’re missing out on the life you want.

First things first, you don’t need anyone to make you happy.

Even if society, your parents, television or movies would have you believe that eventually everyone is on a journey to finding a mate, this is definitely not the case and it is not a requirement of being human, nor is it the price of being human entry into adulthood.

By committing yourself to someone you don’t really care about, you limit the great life you could live while also limiting what makes you constantly crave something more.

Living a lie is a buzz kill. And when you can’t be yourself with your significant other, you have to suppress your true desires and keep deep, important, emotional needs secret.

Finding a mate is not a requirement of being human, nor is it the price of entry into adulthood.

You sacrifice meaningful company.

Being single gives you the freedom to switch between potential partners and try as many different types of relationships as you like.

On the other hand, when you settle down, you end up spending your days with a person with whom you cannot form a meaningful connection.

Fellowship should be a CHOICE, not a responsibility. The good reasons people quit are because they feel their lives are better, more fulfilling, and more complete together.

If you find that your relationship is draining energy or feels more like a chore, you will naturally build resentment and want out.

Fellowship should be a CHOICE, not a responsibility.

You limit your social circle to people you don’t care about.

With the significant other come the significant other’s people: friends, family, colleagues, work.

If you’re not invested in your boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s going to be really difficult to invest in their extended social circle, leaving you alone in your brain at dinner parties, quiz nights, or happy hour.

Even if you are single, it’s all up to you! When you’re ready to leave a party, you know what? you can go If you want to talk to 20 strangers in a bar, you can talk to 20 strangers in a bar without leaving your partner in the dust or hurting anyone’s feelings.

The social opportunities as an individual are endless, giving you plenty of fertile ground to forge lasting friendships and the freedom to be unconditional if you don’t get along well.

You are sabotaging your future.

How will this end? With a boring life, in a boring place, with a boring person you’re bored with?

Acting out someone else’s idea of ​​”the dream” is incredibly isolating and can leave you feeling empty and unfulfilled in obvious and exciting ways.

Getting attached to someone else’s journey limits your options, and unless you really want to ride along, you’ll spend the rest of your life wishing you could get off.

When you are single, the LEGIT world is your oyster and full of a multitude of happy endings.

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean = happily ever after. It simply equals the sum of the two people in it.

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean = happily ever after. It simply equals the sum of the two people in it.

If you’re stuck, faking, or lying in your relationship, you can end up feeling a lot lonelier than if you stayed single and kept your arms wide open to all the world has to offer.

Personal relationships come first for many of us. However, in the hunt for their soulmate, women often forget to nurture the relationship with themselves. Neglecting yourself for the sake of your partner makes you feel stuck in limiting relationships. But dating and self-love can and should go together perfectly. Although outdated cultural frameworks place the needs of men at the center, don’t fall for this misconception. The focus is on meeting your own needs and dreams. Here’s how to practice self-love in a relationship and reach your full potential.

Why is self-love important in a relationship? We don’t always have the right partner. One of the reasons this happens is that the partner we choose is usually a reflection of our self-esteem. However, it is difficult to see that your need for love is a pure need for approval. It is even more difficult to overcome these thought patterns yourself. And that’s why it’s a tremendous help to consult a professional therapist to guide you through the whole process of self-discovery. Perfectionism is one of our customers’ biggest struggles. Faced with rigid, society-imposed roles and striving to fulfill them, women often feel lost, overwhelmed, anxious and depressed. For women of color, these roles can feel even more restrictive and oppressive—the powerful black woman scheme gives African American women the constantly coerced and unfair role of primary carer to others. This role is so powerful that it is repeated for generations. When they follow these models and are unaware of the implications for their mental health or well-being, women are likely to sacrifice their free time, their own needs, and desires for the benefit of others. Inevitably, they apply this pattern to their relationships as well, which is a major obstacle to being truly happy and building a quality connection with one’s partner. The more they give, the less valued they feel and the greater the frustration.

The key to a dynamic and healthy partnership is constant self-work

Work on Loving Yourself: Boost Your Confidence and Self-Esteem Before and During Dating Working on yourself and building your emotional skills, self-esteem, and confidence (ideally with the help of a women’s counselor) is vital . Only when you break free from limiting beliefs like the “strong black woman” myth, heal your wounds and stop sacrificing your time for the good of others will you be able to find what you are looking for – support, Understanding , and compassionate partner with whom you can enjoy a fulfilling life. And if you’re worried they might be leaving because of your newfound path, remember this – a partner who is uncomfortable with your growth and improvement is a major red flag and a telltale sign that you’re losing the relationship should leave. For this reason, it is also important to learn self-love before the relationship gets serious. Here are the basic steps to building the only relationship in your life that’s guaranteed to last forever.

The first relationship to repair is with yourself. If you have dating problems and typically find yourself in codependent, dysfunctional relationships, there may be an underlying unhealthy behavior pattern that you recognize and act on have to work. Although continuous introspection is a super ability of many people, seeing the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and behavior is a fairly complex process. Counseling for women is the solution to stop self-sabotage, heal trauma, and learn some coping mechanisms for anxiety. All of this together will take you on a journey of self-disclosure that will reveal all your qualities and empower you to live the life you want and deserve.

Be gentle with yourself – break free from unrealistically high standards The ultimate goal is to break out of the enchanted circle of repeating unhealthy patterns and become able to learn and accept your own needs. However, breaking these patterns is not an easy process. It can take you through new levels of self-blame, remembering past mistakes, feeling unworthy and unable to connect with a partner, or seeing yourself as selfish for making some time for me. Truth be told, this journey is as exciting as it is emotionally draining. Once you engage, there is no room for criticism, blame, or feelings of worthlessness. Realizing your authentic qualities and worth, and overcoming perfectionism, lack of personal meaning, and self-doubt is how therapy works. So rule number one is: be patient, give yourself time to understand where these patterns are coming from, and give yourself a fair chance to break them.

You are enough, you are worthy, and you deserve time to indulge before and during a relationship. The only way for a person to break this cycle is to accept that it’s perfectly fine to spend time on hobbies (be it sports, reading, or anything else), taking care of yourself, both mentally as well as physically, and satisfying his own needs first. Indulging yourself sometimes will ensure you get the rest you need, boost your confidence, and get extra motivation to pursue dating. Because of this, it’s just as important to give yourself time to relax as it is to work.

Loving yourself means practicing yoga, going out with friends, getting a massage, or anything else that seems important to you

Accept that your worth does not depend on your relationship with other people Accepting the fact that you are enough as you are and that there are no existing external factors, opinions or relationships that could define your worth is crucial to your well-being. But accepting your worth also means accepting vulnerability and giving yourself space to express all your emotions. In other words, all of this means accepting yourself for who you are. And once you fully value yourself, you will have no problem taking some time to nourish your soul and follow your needs and dreams. This doesn’t mean passively embracing all your mistakes — rather, it gives you the opportunity to recognize them and work to improve on them without getting upset about them. So when you finally feel ready to stop worrying about whether it’s okay to spoil yourself, here are some self-care ideas for women that will boost your confidence even further: Stay Healthy – A Healthy Lifestyle affects not only your appearance. Exercising regularly, eating a variety of healthy foods, and staying hydrated will make you feel better both physically and mentally, and will eventually result in a major confidence boost. Get rid of all that unhealthy energy and work stress by walking, running, dancing, doing yoga, or participating in any other physical activity that you enjoy.

– A healthy lifestyle does not only affect your appearance. Exercising regularly, eating a variety of healthy foods, and staying hydrated will make you feel better both physically and mentally, and will eventually result in a major confidence boost. Get rid of all that unhealthy energy and work stress by walking, running, dancing, doing yoga, or participating in any other physical activity that you enjoy. Pamper yourself often — exercise isn’t the only way to make your body and mind feel better. Treat yourself to a massage or sauna from time to time. In fact, even a budget-friendly spa day at home works wonders! Pampering yourself is truly one of the best ways to manage stress and remind yourself of its worth.

– Exercise is not the only way to make your body and mind feel better. Treat yourself to a massage or sauna from time to time. In fact, even a budget-friendly spa day at home works wonders! Pampering yourself is truly one of the best ways to manage stress and remind yourself of its worth. Be social – Sure, none of us are always in the mood for company, especially when we’re feeling down, but being around loved ones can do wonders for your mental health. Your friends can provide you with a strong support system during this process, reassuring you when you’re not feeling well, or at least distracting you from everyday problems with a little chatter.

– Sure, none of us are always in the mood for company, especially when we’re feeling down, but being surrounded by loved ones can do wonders for your mental health. Your friends can provide you with a strong support system during this process, reassuring you when you’re not feeling well, or at least distracting you from everyday problems with a little chatter. Pursue Hobbies – Another important step in self-love is figuring out what you enjoy doing. Studies show that creativity has a positive impact on mental health and can even reduce anxiety symptoms. Remember – you don’t have to be good at your hobby. All that matters is that you enjoy the process.

– Another important step towards self-love is to discover what you enjoy doing. Studies show that creativity has a positive impact on mental health and can even reduce anxiety symptoms. Remember – you don’t have to be good at your hobby. All that matters is that you enjoy the process. Don’t feel guilty for enjoying your me-time – you deserve it!

There are many things you can do to boost self-confidence

Self-Love is the New Relationship Status The stigma of asking a therapist for help is slowly disappearing. And this is a big step, as it means realistic potential for improving the mental health of women, and women of color in particular. Therapy will help you grow, expand, change, feel better, and gather the courage to pursue your dreams. Not only will it help you solve problems with unhealthy thought and behavior patterns, but it will also give you the tools you need to set your goals and start achieving them.

With all the complexity and moving parts that make up our lives, it’s not uncommon to want to withdraw from a relationship. When you find you want to take a break without breaking up, it doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is doomed — but it could be a sign that there are deep issues that need to be addressed.

The truth is that telling a partner that you think it would be a good idea to spend some time apart is unlikely to be met with celebration and encouragement. It’s likely going to be quite difficult for her to accept that you’re dying to break up without actually having to deal with all the ramifications of a breakup. Rather than ripping the bandage off, a common tactic to slowly pull out of a relationship is to take a break because of all the anxieties and insecurities that come with a breakup. It’s totally understandable why this can seem like an acceptable way to deal with relationship issues, but that’s not always the case.

Elite Daily spoke to life and love coach Susan Winter and relationship advice forum founder April Masini to better understand when and how to take a break.

1. Be honest with yourself

Before you make the decision to hit pause, be honest with yourself about why you feel the way you are. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting space amid uncertainty about a partner or relationship, Winters says this isn’t the time to take a break. “It’s better to communicate with each other, open up and try to work things out as a team,” she says.

According to Masini, you might want to take some time off after an infidelity or after a potential dealbreaker has come to light.

“Making decisions about something traumatic requires space and calm. Sometimes a break is the best way to really focus,” says Masini.

However, using a break as a cover for really wanting out of a relationship isn’t the best course of action if your partner isn’t on the same page.

2. Confront the issues head-on

“Often, taking a break is the coward’s way of getting out of the relationship,” admits Winter.

It can be tempting to pull out of a relationship instead of making a final decision to resolve your issues.

“When you’re feeling insecure about your partner, you need to ask the questions that make you feel uncomfortable. Leaving is not a solution. Taking a break is not a solution. Getting important information is what it takes. Your partner can tell you how they really feel—even if you don’t like what they have to say,” explains Winter.

Ultimately, once you’ve attempted to resolve your issues or made the decision that spending time apart is part of a larger regrouping process, it’s time to start a dialogue.

3. Discuss rules

If you and your partner decide that taking a break is the best course of action, it’s absolutely critical that you discuss the rules of the break to avoid further confusion later. Masini frequently hears from couples who took a break and then got back together, only to be disappointed when one person found out their partner had dated and/or slept with others.

“It’s important to understand that a break means you’re single, and what happens during the break is entirely fair.”

Both Winter and Masini agree that talking about the exact terms of a temporary breakup is the best way to ensure both get the most out of the break without further damaging the relationship.

4. Accept that taking a break can lead to breakup

“For a pause to be effective (because this is a very difficult area) there needs to be shared agreements, end goals and timelines,” says Winter.

If you’re having a hard time having an open conversation about the specifics of why you’re taking a break and agreeing on what exactly that means for both of you, it could be a sign that a real breakup is on the horizon.

“[Just] taking a break doesn’t heal or fix anything. It freezes the problem where it is and nothing changes,” Winter notes.

Sometimes two people just can’t balance each other’s needs, which can be very painful when a strong bond is still in place. Because of this, it can be far more productive to resist the urge to run and instead lean and push to get through the difficulties. If things still work out at the end, then at least you can know that you gave it your all.

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